Reading Reviews for Helen and Paris
  
6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Panda Weasley  Helen and Paris

12th March 2014:
Loved this story! I'm a huge fan of Rick Riordan and so I loved seeing his writing meshed so perfectly with writing from my favorite fandom. I really enjoyed reading this story, and loved your characters and plot. I can't think of anything I would change, it's all so good!
~Panda Weasley

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Review #2, by maraudertimes Helen and Paris

3rd February 2014:
Hello!

Well golly, this was cute! I think my favourite part was when Albus thought "I'm going to die alone and old, holding on to a book." They're both so cute and self-conscious and it's so perfect!

Good golly, I just thought this was really super cute! I loved the way you portrayed Albus, what with him being less than sociable, and Fred, with not even thinking about *not* taking the mickey out of Albus. I just thought it was really demonstrative of their personalities and those of their fathers, but I also really liked Al's mischievous side when he stole his brother's broomstick (is that a little or a lot of Ginny I see in little Albus Potter?). :)

And then the ending was just so perfect, although I do wonder if the Fat Lady will ever recover. And Rose! Was she pretending to be asleep? I think she was (and I would have too!) and her little aw was so right and I was kind of doing it too!

Great job, this was really sweet and lovely and just all around amazing!
Lo:)

Author's Response: Lo!

Thanks so much for the kind words! I'm so happy that you loved this little one shot! It just kind of wrote itself. I didn't even realize where I was going with it until it was already written.

Thanks!

-Janelle


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Review #3, by marauderfan Helen and Paris

16th January 2014:
For our swap!

Have to admit, this one drew me in because of the title as I love mythology!

Aw, Albus's nose is crooked. Just like his namesake :P I like the way you've written Albus, very quiet and unsure of himself - much as he was in the DH epilogue, so he seems quite consistent with the canon info we have of him. The personality you've written definitely works for him being a Slytherin. (And I love it when Albus is in Slytherin for some reason. Maybe because his initials are a snake.. anyway I digress)

I like the way you write Fred too. He's silly but also knows when to not be silly. Ha, that quote is hilarious! I have never read anything by Rick Riordan but maybe I will have to, those/that line is quite funny. And you integrated it in really well.

Aw, so cute in the end. Good thing Albus eventually went to talk to her because I don't think she would have spoken to him otherwise, poor thing. This was great, lovely work on this fic!

Author's Response: Thanks for the great review! This was so nice! Put a smile on my face!

-Janelle


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Review #4, by AlexFan Helen and Paris

15th January 2014:
I'm here reviewing the challenge entry and oh my good golly gosh was this ever so adorable!

I love how you gave us a little background information on Albus and Fred and what type of personalities they have. It let me get to know the both of them a little bit better and made them easier to relate to, especially Albus. I loved Albus, Albus is like the male version of me. When I read that Albus was a recluse and liked to read and didn't like attention I was like "Woah, is Albus secretly my long lost fictional brother?"

I love how you used the line that I gave you, especially since it came from Fred. It was pure gold coming from Fred, I could totally picture him saying that! And I loved how Albus used that same advice on Claire.

I felt so bad for her when I saw the way that she viewed herself. She shouldn't think that just because Albus is all of these things that she's not worthy of him. Like the Doctor said, "900 years of traveling through time and space and I've never met anyone who wasn't important."

This just warmed the cockles of my heart and I enjoyed reading it.

Good luck on the challenge!

Author's Response: Hey!

Thanks so much! I'm thrilled that you enjoyed it! Thanks for the good luck wish, we both know i'll need it!

Ahh, thanks a ton!

-Janelle


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Review #5, by ReeBee Helen and Paris

13th January 2014:
Hi there! Aw!! So cute!! Oh, I'm here for our review swap!

Okay, firstly characterisation. So good! It was really what I thought the next gen characters would be like :) I love Fred! So so cute! And how he's willing to help Albus! Aw! And Albus' personality is clearly defined. But maybe adding a bit more on Claire? That would help even out the main pairing :)

Plot/Flow: i like the story time frame on this! Awesome! I also like it how Albus ran off straight after Fred told him to follow his heart! Loved that actually! It was a great idea! What you have here! The quotes were also incorporated well and I think that using them twice was really effective :)

I also think that adding a bit of description about Albus and Claire's relationship would add to believability? Currently, it's quite good and sweet (so so much!). But, adding a bit of background would help, just something like inserting a flashback or having Albus zone out from Fred's talk to think about Claire's hair or something like that :)

There were no grammar errors or typos, but some sentences didn't flow perfectly. A quick beta maybe?

But, it was a lovely story! I love how you've developed the characters and the ending made me seal like mad! :D Great job and good luck in the challenge! :D Thanks for the awesome swap!

-ReeBee

Author's Response: ReeBee!

Thanks for the great review. I will take a quick check over it, time just hasn't allowed that yet. I just wanted it up for the deadline, so it was rushed. o.O

Thanks so much! I'm glad you loved it!

-Janelle


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Review #6, by kenpo Helen and Paris

12th January 2014:
This was so cute! I like the way you opened by comparing Albus and Fred. You made them your own characters.
Al is so sweet. :)

Okay this review is really short but I just wanted to say that I thought this was adorable and fantastic.

Author's Response: Thanks! I don't mind if it's short-- it still put a smile on my face!

-Janelle


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