Reading Reviews for Pure Intentions
  
83 Reviews Found

Review #1, by marauderfan Red Balloon

19th March 2014:
The last chapter :O

That would be the worst, if children threw tantrums outside your door at work all day long. What a stressful job!

There is something wrong with my eyes today, definitely read that part 'George was juggling for two young children' as 'George was juggling two young children'... lol. Maybe that's why kids throw tantrums at the shop.

I loved the scene with the Potter family dinner. And the way you write Ginny. She's awesome. The family dynamic is so great though, and of course James having to say 'eww' about hand holding, haha

I really didn't want Albus and Brandon to break up, but then once Brandon said his piece it totally made sense. I think it was best for them, and Brandon is totally right - relationships don't last in the long term like that. So it was the right decision. And yay! Albus found time to do things he enjoyed, got to do some soul searching and now he's happy! :D

also, might I add, best ending ever. I really love open-ended endings (i'm really eloquent tonight, aren't I) and this was exactly that. It's happy, but it's not happily-ever-after. More than that, it's real; they still have a long way to go. Awesome job on this fic Rose, I loved it!!

 Report Review

Review #2, by marauderfan Red Line

14th March 2014:
Gaaa! My feelingsss. I'm trying to sail like 3 ships at once here and it's not working.

Dude. Brandon is awesome. Also there are so few bi characters in fanfiction (that I've seen) so that's a nice touch. He sounds like a cool guy. I love how open and honest he and Albus are with each other, its a nice change from how Al was with Scorpius!

Rose took that news from Albus better than I expected. I'm glad she didn't get too upset. And I liked their friendly teasing - the friendship between the two cousins is really great.

Poor Cindy! Ugh, I could have told her not to go near Dawlish. That slimeball.

Albus should work at the joke shop! That'd be cool.

Man, I can understand Rose so much here. Everyone gets married so early in the wizarding world it seems, and I totally understand Rose's need for freedom, and not being able to stay settled yet haha. I wasn't too sad she broke it off- she needs to be free and see the world, and Scorpius needs to follow his heart, not instructions.

wow, brave of Scorpius! Way to go! So sad about his parents though. Astoria is supportive but doesn't speak up for herself or her son, which is really sad to see. I hope Draco sees sense eventually, when/if he sees that his son is happy.

GAH IDON'T KNOWW how I want the relationships to pan out! I love Al and Brandon together. But I also really think that after that last scene, Scorpius, who is free to make his own choices, should finally be able to be withAl like he wanted. hjfjhdhjhfjskkhe

sorry for the delirious late niht review. I want to keep reading because this story is addicting. But i'm sleepy. So, until next time..

 Report Review

Review #3, by marauderfan Red Letter

14th March 2014:
The beginning scene of the chapter sounds so lovely. I love falling asleep under the stars. Except for when you wake up and find dew all over your sleeping bag.

Nobody expects Agatha to be descended from gypsies in the Spanish Inquisition.

Nope, Rose is the seer here! Spot on, but she doesn't know it.

Um, I love that Albus reads Jane Austen. :D But real talk, I can identify with Albus SO MUCH right now. Well, he has a much messier love life, but the part aboug figuring out what to do with your life and procrastinating by reading Austen (or in my case, fanfiction :p ) What a mess, figuring out jobs. You have time Albus, you're only 17, you don't have to figure it out right away!

Savage!!! I like him already. And something tells me this job shadowing thing reallyhas nothing to do with the job. ;) Also, grilled cheese with tomato soup is one of the most heavenly combinations known to humankind - Brandon clearly knows what's up.

Aw! I love Harry in this. What a cool dad :)

Yay! Aw it's lovely to see Albus so happy and not feeling like he has to hide who he is.

OMG WHAT SCORPIUS. He is sooo jealous. Guess who's not over Al? Wow. Well that sets a nice mood for the family gathering... things just got intense. need to read more.

great chapter!

 Report Review

Review #4, by marauderfan Red Hot

14th March 2014:
Hello :) I really liked this chapter! Hugo might br my favorite part of the chapter, haha. SO obnoxious like any little brother :D I really liked the way you wrote the whole Weasley family, they were really well in character. Though Ron and Hermione have grown up since they were teenagers, Ron still distrusts any Malfoy and is bad at hiding it, and Hermione is a little more open-minded but still distrustful, but trying to be polite haha.

I loved the comparisons between the Malfoys and the Weasleys, in the way their families interact (poor Scorpius, after seeing a happy family like that and then returning to his cold family who didn't bother to collect him from the train station) and in their houses. The line Scorpius said about wallking 10 minutes to find the loo made me laugh! I'm glad he finally said something that wasnt just formal and proper, and showed that he actually has a personality more interesting than cardboard. And it even amused Ron!

Rose seems to be quite invested in the relationship, and Scorpius clearly isn't. When is he going to figure that out? LISTEN TO YOUR HEART SCORPIUS. Gah if not then Rose is going to get really hurt. Because people in this story haven't been hurt enough. Albus... poor guy. I love that Rose is so concerned, but she's completely oblivious... gah. I feel badly for Albus, he's got some tough times ahead, if he's expected to hang around with Rose and Scorpius and the family.

Rose's desire to run off fighting dark wizards for a year made me laugh! I'm sure her parents would be thrilled :p

awesome chapter!

 Report Review

Review #5, by marauderfan Red Rose

8th March 2014:
Review swap! I read chapter 1 ages ago with a brief detour to your Myrtle fic, so yay I am excited to come back.

gah, I love that you chose Heath Ledger as Scorpius in your banner. Scorpius seems a lot more attractive now. Uh.. I digress.

Like a squid to water.. best simile ever. Squids don't generally get that much recognition in literature, so it's nice to see them getting some limelight here. Rose the squid. It'd be cool if that was her patronus too. Oops, I'm getting off track again, I really shouldn't review things late at night when my brain is all hfmwbksjd.

Oh, Scorpius... not the best way to go about things. Asking out Albus' cousin, did he really think Albus would just be chill with that? Her, of all possible girls... And what happens when Rose finds out about about Scorpius and Albus, as she is sure to do? Blahh. Good one Scorp, didn't think that through, did ya?

DAWLISH? Related to the Dawlish I enjoy punching?

Awww, I really liked the scene when Al tells Harry - I think Harry was written very well with the perfect amount of awkwardness relating to emotions and advice, and agh it was just really sweet. Despite Al's heartbreak, I love that he was able to tell his father and that Harry and Ginny are supportive of their son. :) All the feelings in here, it's so well written and powerful!

Oh no... not a good way to find Scorpius and Rose - hello awkward. I don't think that will help the situation. Rose has no idea what she's caught up in the middle of here - to her it was just an uncomfortable moment, but she has no idea how much she's unintentionally hurting her cousin. :(

well ,awesome chapter! Aah this story is so good!

 Report Review

Review #6, by LilyLou Red Flags

7th March 2014:
Sorry for taking a bit to get to this, but I'm here for our review swap!

I've heard many things about this story--all good--and I thought maybe I should read it! So I did, and I enjoyed it.

Normally I'm not the biggest fan of slash, probably because I don't understand the whole deal with it, but I'm opening my mind up to new things as of late, and so this was the perfect oppurtunity to expand on that.

This was great. Your characterization is wonderful, and you write the boys with great detail, which can be hard from the POV and style you wrote this. 3rd in past tense, I think, can be hard to add lots of emotion into, but you did a great job on this!

I'll be reading on!

-Janelle

Author's Response: Hi Janelle!

Thank you so much for the lovely review! It's kind of neat that so many people have nice things to say about this story!!

Eh, slash is pretty much a romance but it has two people of the same sex. If it's well written, there shouldn't be much else that differs from other love stories. I hope you enjoy giving it a chance!

I'm really glad you liked this chapter! I do a lot of writing in 3rd person past so it was within my comfort zone at least.

Thank you so much for a lovely review!

-Rose


 Report Review

Review #7, by Aphoride Red Balloon

7th March 2014:
Hey there - thanks so much for the swap! :) When I saw you asking for it, I knew I had to come back to finish this story - it's been far too long since I read the rest of this and didn't finish it!

First off: NO. How can you do this to me?! What? They can't break up! Al and Brandon were such a lovely couple! Brandon was so good for Al! Gah, poor Al! I feel so so sorry for him!

But but but - Scorpius! Yay! I'm so glad they're at least friends, because they deserved to have some kind of relationship, given what they used to have, you know? It's kinda like a turning point for them. They've both grown up and made peace with themselves, and they're so much more settled.

So, in a way, even though this doesn't end, as such, in terms of their relationship being restored or broken forever - it's kinda a strange note to end it on - it works, because it ends with them turning a new leaf and all that jazz, you know? So it's kinda an ending and a beginning, at the same time, which is a great way to do it. It's a really original ending and all, I think.

Your characterisation and plot and setting and all are just lovely, as usual.

I've really enjoyed this story - it's been a really great read and a really nice, thoughtful story. Really, really great read!

(Sequel? I think I heard this mentioned at some point... lemme know when it's up! :D)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Howdy Aph!!

I'm so happy you came back to see the last chapter!!!

I'm sorry!!! I had to separate them so Albus could learn to grow on his own! He needed to be more self sufficient or he'd use relationships as a crutch forever. There may be a chance at them rekindling something eventually (in a sequel).

I liked ending the story at a turning point. I mean, it resolved the heartache issue that the story set off to talk about and set up what is probably going to be a sizable sequel. They both are quite different people than they were at the beginning of the story. Scorpius has learned to stand up for what he wants and not just do as he'd bid and Albus is one who will not take being in a secretive/dark corners relationship and knows a bit more about what makes him happy.

The ending was a bit unconventional, I suppose. I thought it would take more story time to fix their relationship than it took to bring them here. They're at least at a less turbulant part of life between them.

:D I'm so happy that the plot and characterization were good!!

I've really enjoyed following your reviews and incredible feedback. You've been super helpful and fun. :)

(I keep saying that I have one and I do - I'm not sure when I'll get to writing it out. There are a few plot points I need to decide on)
Thank you so much for such an awesome review!

-Rose


 Report Review

Review #8, by Red_headed_juliet Red Balloon

22nd February 2014:
*claps* Yay for a happy ending! Those are so hard! Lol. I quite enjoyed the end of the story, though I am sad to see it go. Also glad that my prediction of Brandon cheating was way off the mark, and props to him for being the adult and making sure that Al was taken care of, even if it meant losing out on a good going relationship. I enjoyed the red symbolism all the way through, good job. Congratulations on completing a captivating and intriguing story. I look forward to reading more +]

Author's Response: It was so hard for me to do a happy ending here!! I wanted to make it happy as I was writing this for someone else. And, well, I already killed off one Savage and couldn't face doing it to another. I was glad though that you (and others) had awesome guesses about what would happen next and that what did happen wasn't that predictable. I would have been a bit put out if everyone flat out guessed the ending. It was hard for me to think of an end of their relationship that wasn't either death or a total heartbreak. :D I'm happy you liked the red symbolism! It was fun to include that. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing the entire story! I've really enjoyed and gained a lot from your feedback.

-Rose


 Report Review

Review #9, by Courtney Dark Red Balloon

20th February 2014:
I loved the way you ended this, with neither Albus or Scorpius really going out with anyone! It was so...realistic. I don't even really know how to describe why I liked this so much.

I really, really liked Brandon, and I hope that he and Albus get back together some day. Wow, that seemed really stupid. THIS IS FICTION, COURTNEY! But you know what I mean.

But anyway, I'm glad that both Scorpius and Albus are managing to move on with their lives, without letting the past get in the way.

Ugh, now that I've finished 'Pure Intentions' I should probably get out of bed and get dressed. BUT IT'S SO COLD AND GREY OUTSIDE! Sob!

This was a very enjoyable short story, thank you once again for entering the Uncomfortable Challenge!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Yay!! I'm really glad you liked the ending!! It's one of the happiest endings I've written.

So... I might write a sequel to this where Albus ends up with either Brandon or Scorpius. I just haven't decided who should end up where.

Well, at least I didn't end you with a super sad ending!

I'm so glad I was able to enter into your challenge! You pushed me into next-gen which was a first!!

Thank you so much for reviewing!!

-Rose


 Report Review

Review #10, by Courtney Dark Red Line

20th February 2014:
Oooh, I now wonder how everything will end? I can't wait to see!

I love that Rose was so good natured about the whole Albus/Scorpius thing. I mean, yes, she broke up with Scorpius, but he was coming over very intense.

Will Scorpius go after Albus again now? And if he does, what will Al do? I really hope he doesn't break up with Brandon, because he seems like such a nice guy!

That scene with Cindy...maybe it was just me over-thinking (which I tend to do a lot) but I swear I sensed a weird sort of foreshadowing between Cindy and Brandon. I hope I'm wrong!

I hope everyone gets a happily every after, somehow!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Part of me thinks she suspected a bit (deep down) and didn't go ballistic because it would be hard to find someone who hadn't dated one of her cousins (given the sheer amount). I also don't think she quite understood how close they had been. Scorpius was coming on a bit strong. It might have been relationship sabotage.

I'm so very happy you're pulled in a few directions about what could happen now!! I really wanted people to still be guessing at this point. :)

Well... Cindy was meant to be a distraction. She was also supposed to call out how dependent Al is on relationships to feel happy. I need to rehone the foreshadowing I do there so that it points back to Brandon and Al instead of Bran and Cindy.

-Rose


 Report Review

Review #11, by Courtney Dark Red Letter

20th February 2014:
Hmm, I think this is my favourite chapter so far!

Spain sounds so amazing! Lying outside, staring at the stars, warm weather...sigh! What I wouldn't give for warm weather right now!

On a side note, I've always wondered if wizards and witches have universities? Hmmm...

But anyway, I really like Brandon! He seems really nice and perfect for Al, and I hope he helps him to forget about Scorpius. Scorpius' reaction when he found out Albus was dating another guy though...phew! I wonder what will happen next?

Courtney:)

Author's Response: I was definitely projecting some of my wishful thinking when I wrote about Rose going to Spain. I've never been but it sounds amazing there! Warm weather would be lovely right about now. brr!

I'm not sure if they have universities or just go into some job-related training.

I'm so glad you like Brandon!! He's one of my favorite OCs that I've written! Brandon is hte relationship Albus needed to have so he could see how they should work. :D

This was kind of a cliffy to leave the chapter at. :)

Thank you so much for a fantab review!!

-Rose


 Report Review

Review #12, by Courtney Dark Red Hot

20th February 2014:
Hey! I said I'd be back, did I not?

I really enjoyed this chapter! I especially liked all those comparisons you made between the Malfoy and the Weasley way of life - such a huge contrast there!

Hehe, I really liked Ron and Hermione in this chapter! Ron still acting like a biased teenager, Hermione embarrassed and trying to seem polite - it was great!

I can't for the life of me work out how much Scorpius actually likes Rose. I think he definitely sees her as a good friend, but more than that...I don't know.

I also wonder of Rose will ever find out about Albus and Scorpius and, if so, what her reaction will be.

Courtney:)

Author's Response: You're back!! *hugs* (sorry for doubting!! I just thought it'd be easy to lose track with so many people and and *hides*)

Comparing the Weasley and Malfoy families was quite interesting. Even for a non-angsty story like mine, it would be hard to not call out how different it must have been growing up in those familiies.

While I think Ron matured quite a bit as an adult, I think he'd still be quite immature with some things that involve Malfoy and spiders (not at the same time).

eh, Scorpius plays his cards close to the chest. I think he likes her "well enough" to want to keep seeing her. She's a nice person and fun to be around but she doesn't really excite him.

Ah, thank you so much for a lovely review!

-Rose


 Report Review

Review #13, by ReeBee Red Line

19th February 2014:
OMG OMG OMG ROSEEE! ANOTHER AHMAZING CHAPTER! :D Oh, here for our review swap (three days late) so so sorry about the time! GAH! SORRY! PLEASE FORGIVE MEE :)

*clears throat* Now onto the review ;)

Characterisation: BRANDON BRANDON BRANDON! :D Gah! Wel, he's so sweet and so so cute and understanding. And Albus! AH-DORABLE. He's so...just so so amazing! :D Amazing doesn't even cover it! He's so cute! Bralbus 5eva! ;) Even though i've always been and will be a bralbus (cant come up with anything else... Aldon?) shipper, I LOVE Scorpius! So so sweet! Love how he wants to marry Rose! :D And then he leaves home... Poor scorp! Now you've made me confused, do i want to buy ( ;) ) Scorpius or Brandon... Hm...[

Description: Great as usual! I love how Al felt around Brandon! Those thoughts were so sweet and just simply perfect! I do think there could be a bit more description around when Al visit's George's shop (side not, poor George! GAH! Now i want him too! Noo! ;) ) and also when ScoRose break up (so sad...)

Plot/Flow: Awesome job with the plot! It's so interesting with so many unexpected twists and turns! Perfect! :D And the flow was really well handled too! Just the break up scene and the george one :) Other than that, perfect!

Great job rose! Sorry for the supernate review! :D I HAVE TO READ THE NEXT CHAPTER SOON! GAH!

-Curie :)

Author's Response: Curie!!!

Hello lovely!

I'm like three weeks late responding so we're quite even. :P

:D I can make you a Brandon to go if you'd like. ;) A lot of people were rooting for Bralbus at this point. :D I'm so glad Scorpius has been redeemed for you!! I know he was on shaky ground for a while! Why settle for one when you can buy both!?!?! (I guess that's not a real option for you or the story x.x)

Arg! You've found my weakest point with Next Gen - I don't know how to describe the joke shop. Mainly because I have no idea what kind of magical pranks they'd be inventing and blah. i just fail at it.

Thank you so much for a wonderful review, Curie!! We should swap again soon!

-Rose


 Report Review

Review #14, by lindslo2012 Red Rose

18th February 2014:
Hi girl! Here for the review swap!
Rose this was so good!
I wanted to cry for Albus because you wrote his feelings so great that I felt like I could feel them.
I hate that Scorpius did this to him but I can only hope in the end he will come around. I also feel bad for Rose because she has no idea that she is hurting her cousin and probably would never do so if Al opened up to her before this all happened. The part with Harry and Al was simply beautiful, I can see Harry being such an amazing father. :) It is great that Harry accepts his son how he is- something that I am sure Draco won't do.
Great job once again and I hope you enjoy reading my story- whichever one you choose!!!
:D
Hope to hear from you soon, and I want to come back and read the rest of this story but just haven't had time. You know how that is.
Well until next time,
-Lindsey

Author's Response: Hi Lindsey!

I'm so glad you're liking the story. I felt mean writing Albus with a broken heart in this chapter. Scorpius is a bit hard to like in this story but he is a bit more redemable later on. Rose definitely wouldn't have hurt Al on purpose. I don't think she ever fully realizes that she did hurt him either. I'm so happy you liked the scene with Harry and Al!!! It was so fun for me to write that and have him be a good father. Draco definitely doesn't accept Scorpius as he is. In my head, the Malfoys have known for some time that Scorpius prefers boys but have ignored or flat out gone against what he wants.

Thank you so much for such a lovely review!

-Rose


 Report Review

Review #15, by SkyEcho Red Balloon

18th February 2014:
Aww I'm sad the story is over, but I liked the ending! Please let me know if you decide to write a sequel!! As much as I loved Brandon and Al together, he made the right choice with Al. The little hints you provided through the chapter really worked to give us the context for Brandon's decision.
What a cute moment between Harry and Ginny. I really liked that :)
I was so happy to see the Albus - Scorpius ending. How lovely for them to release the past and make a new start as friends.

Author's Response: I was sad to end this story. About two chapters in I realized I could have done a novel length story on this but I was going too fast for that. I'll definitely let you know if/when I do a sequel. I have quite a few plot points mapped out in my head but I haven't really answered a key question for myself - who Albus should end up with.

It was hard for me to find a nice reason for Brandon to end things with Al. I knew when I intorduced him that he wouldn't last but I didn't want their break up to be another heartache for Al (at least not something horrendous like Scorpius was). Then I started to add in stuff with Al being a bit too codependent. That's what Brandon caught when Al was giving Cindy advice - he runs to a new relationship rather than shore up his own life.

I'm so happy you liked the ending! It felt realistic to end them at the restart of their friendship. Taking them around to something romantic would take too long but they needed resolution.

Thank you so much for a wonderful review!

-Rose


 Report Review

Review #16, by Courtney Dark Red Rose

18th February 2014:
Awww, poor Al! I feel so bad for him! But I really love that he had such a good conversation with Harry! I've always thought that Harry would be a great parent!

Why did Scorpius have to choose Rose, Albus' cousin of all people! Why couldn't he choose some random Hufflepuff that Albus had never seen before in his life? And that would be beyond awkward and horrible, finding your best friend and your cousin in your dormitory - I think I'd die of horror!

This is a really cool story!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: It was a delight writing about Harry as a good parent. I like to think he did a good job at it too.

Well... because you put that as part of my challenge. :P My plot reason was because she was threre, pretty, and accessible. She was hte option with the lease up front effort. :D I think Al nearly did die of horror. :( poor kid!

Thank you so much for reviewing!

-Rose


 Report Review

Review #17, by Courtney Dark Red Flags

18th February 2014:
Hey there! Thanks so much for entering the Uncomfortable Challenge!

Aw, I am suddenly shipping Albus and Scorpius so hard! I really like your portrayal of Scorpius - he seems so sweet and innocent!

I also really like the way you wrote the conversation between Scorpius and his parents. It was definitely nice to see what his relationship with Draco and Astoria was like. And then I'm glad Astoria came up to his room to talk to him afterwards - they weren't very motherly and fatherly at the dinner table!

Hmm...I wonder what will happen when Rose comes into the situation? I guess I'll have to read on to find out!

This was a great first chapter!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hi Courtney!!

Everyone should ship Al/Scorpius! I feel like with another plunny I could give them a good relationship.

His parents are a bit weird. I think Draco wants what's best for his son but goes about it in a horrible way. Astoria wants to be nurturing but also needs to stay in line with Draco. I'm really glad you liked Astoria's shining moment with scorpius.

When Rose comes in it's a bit of a firestorm!!

Thanks for the fab review! I can't tell you how much fun I had with this challenge.

-Rose


 Report Review

Review #18, by Aphoride Red Line

14th February 2014:
Hey there - I was so excited to see you in the review battle since it meant I could pop back to this story! :)

And omigosh the drama in this chapter! You're really vamping up the pace and the drama in this... wow.

I love how Al and Brandon are going well, and how Brandon sort of understands what Al's going through and how hard things would have been for him, and why he just wanted to get away. The more I see of Brandon, the more I like him ;) He's just such a sweet guy! Can I have one like him please? :P

I loved Brandon's conversation with Harry, as well. It's just like Harry to be concerned and not really know how to approach it, whether to talk to Brandon or not. I thought Brandon handled it really well - better than Harry, haha. But then Harry's awkwardness was just so in-character, it was lovely!

Poor Scorpius! I haven't said that all that much in this, since he hasn't been the nicest of people, but this is just so sad for him! I can't believe Draco disowned him for it! Chances of Astoria getting him back into the family? :( Gah, I feel so sorry for him - but good on him for finally making the decision he should have made a long time ago. I guess it's because he's grown up and seen how happy Al is and wants that for himself. Not Al. Well, not necessarily ;)

I can't believe this is nearly over - I'm so curious how it's going to end! Though I do hope that Al stays with Brandon, since I think they're very good together and for each other ;)

Really, really enjoying this story, as you know! ;) Looking forward to finding you in the review battle again so I can come back! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Aph!!

I'm so glad you're back!

There is a lot of drama and developmentin this chapter. I kind of got a lead foot while writing it. er, you know.

I've had a few requests for a RL Brandon. I don't know if one exists but if I find one, there will be an auction. :P Brandon is quite understanding and mature enough to handle the fact that his bf has a bit of drama.

Yeah, I don't see Harry ever growing out of his awkward stage. :D He has good intentions when he talks to Brandon but, yeah, I am glad that Brandon was respectful of Albus' trust.

Whoo!! I'm kind of happy you're at least feeling a little bad for Scorpius now. I mean, he's not the hero here but I didn't want him to be a complete bad guy. Draco is kind of a bad father in this story (which I feel bad for writing but hey). I felt that Scorpius needed to escape his family and their expectations of him so he could live on his own terms.

I'm kind of excited and terrified for you to see the ending... *dramatic music*

thank you so much for a fantastic review!! I always enjoy reading your thoughts and theories on the story!

-Rose


 Report Review

Review #19, by kenpo Red Balloon

11th February 2014:
Bu-bu-bu-bu.

Brandon...

Rooose!! No!

Okay. No. It totally makes sense why Brandon broke up with him. That's pretty much the reason my boyfriend and I broke up, except we're both Albus.

Waaah! Why?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!

I liked Brandon!!!

:(

I really liked the chapter, though. And the whole fic, really. I really liked it. I'd been wondering about the "Red" thing.

I'm glad that Al and Scorpius are friends. I wonder if they'll every be anything else but friends.

WHY?!?!!?!?

I'm not mad at you. I totally understand it. But Gr. But also love. Because this was a fantastic story.

I have mixed feelings right now.

Author's Response: The key is that I didn't kill Brandon. Don't I get points for that?!?!?

*hugs* Well, if you were both Albus then I'm glad one of you had the wisdom to call things off.

They might date again one day but not for the foreseeable future. I need them to develop a healthy friendship first.

You're a bit mad - that's okay. :) I'm mad at me too. I might be writing a sequel! just, fyi.

Thank you so much for your fantabulous reviews on this story and chapter!! I love reading your reactions to their various developments.

-Rose


 Report Review

Review #20, by marauderfan Red Flags

10th February 2014:
I don't tend to gravitate to stories with love triangles but this one caught my eye!

I love the idea of Scorpius and Al! I mean, as much as I'm partial to Rose/Scorpius, I like this too. Considering the summary of this story I only think it's going to make me more confused haha.

You've done really well writing this relationship that neither of them quite knows how to define, especially given Scorpius' family and the tradition he has to adhere to as a pureblood from an important family. I especially like the lime about how outside they were friends, but inside the dormitory they were lovers, it wasa great description of them. Scorpius' emotions and confusion are very evident throughout the chapter.

You did well with Draco and Astoria, too. I like that Astoria is compassionate and understanding, and I can even understand Draco a little - his family was shamed by the whole Lucius is a notorious Death Eater thing, so I can see how he kind of wants to return his family name to its former glory by his son being 'respectable' - only he's of course putting his own needs before his son's. :( Open your eyes Draco!

I like that Harry was invited to the party - and of course that the brought Albus ;) This is a great first chapter!! Thanks for the swap!

Author's Response: I'm so glad you're giving this love triangle a chance! I've never based a story on one so I'm not sure which cliches I've hit. :-/

I like making people conflicted. :D It's really fun for me to do.

It's good to hear that Scorpius didn't just come across as the insensitive one who was playing around with Albus (figuratively) - he's quite conflicted throughout this. Their public/private persona plays a big role throughout this story!

Draco and Astoria were interesting to write about. I'm glad you picked up on Draco's attempt to restore the family name. I didn't want to spend the story talking about his motivations even though they influence Scorpius quite a bit.

I'm so happy you liked this chapter! Thank you for such a wonderful review!
-Rose


 Report Review

Review #21, by kenpo Red Line

9th February 2014:
Hiya! 'Clawz

Oh god, I said "Clawz".

Hahaha. Snake fight. I don't know why, but that had me in a fit of laughter.

Before his parents could do more than open their mouths to protest before Albus headed towards the garden boundary with Brandon trailing behind him.
You've got "before" in there twice:)

Yayyy we get to see the residence of Brandon!

Awww. Cuddles! Yay!

Awww Brandon is so nice as sweet and I might love him! Glad he's into witches, too, so I'm not totally out of luck.
Wait.
He's fictional.
Darn.

Oh god. That would be so awkward for Brandon. My S/Os family like me and I'm still terrified of them. I probably would've peed my pants if I'd been in Brandon's situation.
That's probably why I don't have ambitions to an Auror.
And the whole "not a witch" thing.

Gosh, Rose, you're just forcing me to face the harsh realities of life, aren't you?

OHMYBRANDON, ROSE IS FINDING OUT WHAT IS SHE GONNA DO?!?! OMB!

(You cool with me saying "Oh my Brandon?")

Huh. She's really that cool with it? Or will there be a bigger freak-out later?

I love the comparison between Rose and Scorpius and how they reacted to Brandon.

Yay more Cindy.

IS AL GONNA GO WORK WITH GEORGE? YES PLEASE!

Poor Cindy! Dawlish is dumb.

Wait. Why didn't Scorpius react to Rose mentioning his relationship with Al? I feel like he'd be upset that she knows.

Aww. They broke up. I don't know how I feel about it. Marriage that young... not everyone can be Lily and James.

And Harry and Ginny, in half the fics out there.

NO WHERE IS SCORPIUS GONNA GO?!? STUPID ANCIENT MORALS! NO! WHAT? I FEEL SO BAD FOR HIM!!

Is he gonna go flee to the Potters? I think, even with their row, Albus would take him in.

Or this could end with extreme Angst, and he could go live with Brandon and they could fall in love and Albus could just be sad and go work with George and they could reminisce about the good ol days.

Rah. I'm so irritated with Draco.

Gr.

At least Scorpius is free and has some gold.

I'm so sad.

As usual, though... great chapter.

Bit about dialogue (or, things following dialogue)

When you have an action after dialogue such as:

"Let's go make cookies," she said, taking out the flour.

You need the comma after "said". Or you can use "as"

"Let's make cookies," she said as she took the flour out.

Other than that, I love this story. I also love the chapter titles, if I havne't mentioned that before.

ayayayayyy

Author's Response: Clawz in the house!

Snake fight made me laugh too when I wrote it. I get the giggles rather easily though.

It's time to visit Brandon's bach pad! I don't know if they're called bach pads but I just did so there's that. Yay for cuddles and open preferences!! I'll go on a hunt for a RL Brandon for you. ;)

Brandon had to face a little awkward dating the boss' son! I'd probably pee my pants too but we're not as cool as Bran. The whole "not a witch" thing could get in the way I suppose.

ahaha, "ohbrandon" is your new phrase? :P I LOVE IT! She's kind of cool with the idea. I dunno, she doesn't get the full story and what she hears is upsetting but not devastating.

Rose is all "go get some" whereas Scorpius is all "no, wait, I was going to make espresso!" (which is funny if you've seen Young Frankenstein)

Dawlish is dumb! I don't think I'll ever write a Dawlish in a nice light. I just can't.

Uh, I should have a bit of a fight between them but it got pushed out because I had higher priority things to show. Basically he was all sorry he didn't ssay anything and Rose didn't get too angry after he was all "I wanted you to like me and thought you'd turn me down if you knew..."

I think Scorpius would have done it just to, uh, git 'er done, as they say. I don't believe in marriage that young (I did it once and failed spectacularly).

SCORPIUS IS GOING TO FLY FREE!

ahaha, I love reading your thoughts on where Scorpius is going to go. Some of your ideas are much meaner than ones I thought up. :P

Thanks so much for pointing out my weird wording and the comma thing. I realized that in Spanish (which is the language I've had the most advanced syntax training in) you can combine a verb + gerund in one phrase without a comma or conjunction. I'll tell you, learning a second language can rewire a lot. :)

I love your reviews!! Thank you so much for leaving such awesome ones!

-Rose


 Report Review

Review #22, by Lululuna Red Balloon

8th February 2014:
Hello! :)

I'm so sad this is over! :( But it ended really nicely and felt complete, with room to add to it if you ever want to, so I suppose I can be happy about that. :) This was a really great story and you wrote it so beautifully.

Albus and Brandon were really sweet at the beginning, but I actually really like the reasoning for how they broke up. It's so relatable and makes a lot of sense, how relationships can't be a crutch for happiness and how dangerous it is to be the kind of person who can't be happy unless they have somebody. I respect Brandon's decision a lot and I can't think of him reacting in any other way. He's so mature and thoughtful, though it broke my heart a little how his feelings seemed to be teetering on the edge of love. But there's always the possibility of their getting back together in the future when Albus is better prepared, and either way I think Albus learned a lot from being with Bran.

I loved the Potter family discussion and James getting all queasy about his parents holding hands - the banter there made me laugh. :) It's lovely seeing what an affectionate, happy family they were.

You write the sort of domestic romance scenes so well and realistically, I love it. The relationships feel totally real and natural, but also exciting in a way in how ordinary and comfortable they are.

I also liked how of course the Potters would be round Ron and Hermione's when Al was trying to avoid them. :P I imagine the two families hanging out all the time so that was perfect. I also really love Rose and how independent and strong a character she is. It would have been easy to hate her for unknowingly replacing Albus in Scorpius' affections but I liked how she was completely unique herself.

I'm so happy Scorpius was doing well! Somehow I imagined from this that his mother and potentially father had helped him out with starting the shop. I don't know why I got that impression, or whether it's just wishful thinking, but I like the idea of their slow reconciliation while still letting Scorpius do his own thing. The details about Diagon Alley and the cooperation between the businesses were wonderful as well.

I like how you left it open-ended as to Albus and Scorpius and their future friendship. I like the idea of slowly getting to know and trust one another as friends, and perhaps someday in the far away future when they're both happy and secure being able to move on, either together or with other people. They're only eighteen or so after all, there's no rush to settle down! :)

A wonderful chapter and ending to the story. By the way, I noticed that the word count on this was 22322, so you should totally go through and prune out 100 words and make the word count completely 2s - okay, nerd moment. But back on the subject of the story, I love how you wrote it and how you handled issues of acceptance (from self and society) and different kinds of love and growing up. It was a beautiful and entertaining read and I loved it. :D ♥

Author's Response: HELLO!

I was sad to end this story! I could keep writing Albus and his love life for a while yet but I finished the objectives for this story at least.

I thought you might be understanding about their reasons for breaking up. Throughout the story I felt Al was too reliant on being in a relationship for his sense of happiness and fullfilment. Brandon was on the verge of love with Al - I imagine he was a bit heartbroken by ending the relationship. I struggled for a bit about how to break them up, not wanting it to be a hard break or something that would damage Albus more than he had been before.

James isn't someone I've delved into greatly but based on his reaction to Teddy and Victoire kissing on the Hogwarts Express, I imagined that he'd be like that when it came to anyone showing affection (especially his parents).

I like the idea of an everyday romance. It's nice to have ones that are huge and operatic but I like the showing that love and romance have home in the life of those married for several years. :D

I debated how Harry and Ginny would learn that Albus and Brandon broke up. It was too funny to have them there when he didn't want to see them. I do think they hung out a lot, even so many years after school. Rose is kind of my hero in this story. She has a pretty good head on her shoulders.

Scorpius is much happier now! I like to think that the capital required to start a small shop is low so he was able to invest some of his money that Astoria gave him into the shop. He's been at it for a few months so he'd have a bit of cash flow too. They haven't reconciled yet - I feel they have more issues to work out than I could justify in one chapter.

I'm really glad you liked the ending! It was as close as I could get to a happy ending - which I thought would be appreciated! :D In one version Bran died tragically but I couldn't bear to do that (I also killed off his uncle, so... it just felt too mean). I still haven't decided if Albus and Scorpius deserve to end up together. They are quite young and should spend time to figure out who they are.

Ooh, I like having the word count as a clear palindrome. It wasn't intentional but I don't want to change it. 2 would be good too though. :) I can't tell you how happy I am that you've enjoyed this story and the issues it covers! Thank you so much for your views and awesome feedback!

-Rose


 Report Review

Review #23, by Infinityx Red Balloon

8th February 2014:
'Claw battle!

I can't believe this story is done! :o Every chapter had me filled with anticipation and curiosity, and now it's over. :( I loved it! Now, my final review for this story. *sighs*

I want some of those self-juggling balls! That's such an amazing idea! I've never been able to juggle more that two balls. :D

It's so nice that Al is working at the Wheezes. It's such a fun place and it's very unlikely that he'll get bored! I think that's the best part. People usually leave their jobs out of boredom of the monotony but that won't happen in this case, with all the new inventions and tricks!

George is one curious person, isn't he? (Don't mind the pun! :P) Poor Al. I know the pain of a heartbreak and it isn't something that goes away easily. I'm glad he doesn't feel the longing anymore. This seems like an indicator of a new phase of his life.

Scorpius seems so different now that he's free from his parents! He's really getting a control over his life now. Good for him!

Aw, Brandon and Al are just the cutest. It's a pity it didn't last. Their interactions show how comfortable with each other and it's wonderful to read about! Hahahah, Al wasn't looking at Brandon's eyes! :D

That break-up. :'( I understand the reasoning, but it's still so sad! Especially when they're so perfect for each other! Brandon's character is so amazing. (oh, pleease write another story with him in it! A sequel to this maybe?)

Yay! Albus is happy again!

Oooh. Albus and Scorpius are friends again. Sequel please! There are so many ways it can go from here. And after reading this story, I've come to like this Albus/Scorpius ship!

I love the way you've ended it. It's so simple. No long conversation or redundant words. It's perfect.

Aaand I got to know about all the reds! :D

Sorry for all the rambling!
I absolutely loved this story. :)

~Erin

Author's Response: Erin!

Ah, it had to come to and end eventually. I'm seriously considering a sequel though. So, there's that to look forward to.

I've never been able to juggle but my husband can which is why I got the idea.

I thought Al would be a good fit at WWW - I mean, George was laying down the hint that he should work there quite thickly.

haha, George is quite curious! I think he'd get bored and frustrated with the politics of running a small business with so many old families there as merchants. Al really has crossed into a new phase of his life.

Scorpius is much more in control and happy that he's able to do what he enjoys.

I couldn't let Al keep Brandon as an emotional crutch. It was hard for me to split them up. I wanted them to have quite a long romance but Al needs to be his own person first. :D it's hard to look someone in the eyes when *things* are distracting.

It took a while, but Albus is learning to be happy!!

I'm glad you liked where this ended - their friendship made a possibility again. I think the sequel will be another love triangle - with Brandon, Al, and Scorpius. ;)

Thank you so much for a wonderful review and for reading through this story! Your feedback has been delightful!

-Rose


 Report Review

Review #24, by Infinityx Red Line

7th February 2014:
Here for the BvB review battle!

Wow, I can't believe it's almost over. I knew that Scorpius and Rose would break up but I thought there would be something more to it. He'd seemed like he really liked her, so I thought it'd hurt him a bit more. Guess I was wrong. Poor Scorpius. He went through everything because of his parents and would have married a girl who he didn't love if she'd said yes. I actually thought he might fall in love with her and then get his heart broken. I'm glad the sadness level has decreased a bit in this chapter though.

So this means Scorpius would try to get in Albus' good books again. Or so I think. Oh no, I don't want Al and Brandon to break up! They're so cute together! But I have a feeling they will. :(

Aw, Albus is just the sweetest thing! "I just want you to be happy." I had tears in my eyes because of that line. The love from a brother is the best thing in the world!

I'm so glad Scorpius broke free from his parents. I love the way Astoria gave him money and supported his decision. I wonder what he'll do now.

I can't wait to know how this ends! Another wonderful chapter!

~Erin

Author's Response: Erin! I hope you'll forgive me for taking so long to respond. I got distracted writing and yeah - I'm kind of lame at responding fast.

I thinkt hey really did like each other but they both realized it was just a bad fit in terms of goals and directions for their lives. Also, I didn't want to throw in unnecessary heartbreak - it was just a bit kinder for them to end things as friends. I felt that Scorpius broke his own heart enough with Albus that he didn't need to do that with Rose.

Scorpius might try to wheedle his way back into Albus' life - you've finished now so you know where they all landed.

Albus is a stand-up good guy! I think he realizes the value of being happy by now and wants that for other people.

Having Scorpius get out from his father's rule was a key goal for me to have in this story. Astoria is quite a good mom and I couldn't help but give her some redeeming qualities.

thank you so much for a fantastic review!! It meant so much to me!

-Rose


 Report Review

Review #25, by Rumpelstiltskin Red Balloon

7th February 2014:
99 Red Balloons floating in the summer sky... :D

George :D. I could use those self-juggling balls to impress *my* friends with my newly acquired hand-eye coordination skills :D. *Cough* There's a reason I played soccer and not basketball :D.

Anyway, Brandon! Omygosh, thank you for the Brad Savage reference! I will love that reference FOREVER! Nah, it's cool, you don't have to go to dinner...do whatever it was you were planning on doing instead!

I vote for silencing charms! Oh yeah, he does have a point. I don't think Harry would appreciate that very much :D.

See, Al's not even heartbroken...and he's looking at Brandon's -- er -- not eyes! Why must you make them so fabulous together when you're only going to take them away!? *Sniffle* They make me laugh, and make things warm!

Oh my god, it's happening!! Well, yeah, he does have a good point, Al shouldn't be using their relationship to be happy or to get over Scorpius but -- *cries*.

Aw, that was a happy ending! I'm still a little sad about Brandon :(. But it's okay because HAPPY ENDING! :D :( :D *Cough* I need to sort out some of my emotions, myself, I think. :D

It was a lovely story anyway! :D *Hugs story*

-Rumpel

Author's Response: RUMPEL!

*gold stars and chocolate cake*

My husband can juggle and I'm quite jealous of his coordination. !! I played soccer too!! My hand/eye coordination is horrid.

I couldn't not put in a Brad Savage reference. this story exists in the same world that my Brad Savage story did after all. sorry, they didn't do what they were planning - they'll get to that later though!

I was on the verge of having Brandon sneak out the next morning and hoping that Harry wouldn't notice him wearing the same clothes two days in a row. but... that didn't happen

Al might still be a bit heartbroken but he still has eyes to look at, er, Bran's eyes. *cough*

I'm sorry! I take away everything you like. :( I'll write you more warmth.

Do I get gold stars for a happy ending?!?! and no one died?!!

Thank you so much for reading all of this and for all the awesomesauce reviews!

-Rose


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>