Reading Reviews for Patronus
15 Reviews Found

Review #1, by kenpo Molly Weasley

6th May 2014:
Hello! I'm back! I couldn't resist the Molly chapter... later I'll come back and do chapters 1 and 4.

I love that she admits that the baby is ugly. Babies are ugly. That doesn't make them any less lovable, but... they're not cute right away...

Oh wow. It's weird to think that there was a time that Molly wasn't a total super-mom, but I like that you've added in that insecurity. I'm sure she figures it all out fast enough ;)

Haha. I love that Arthur is already thinking about more kids and Molly is just sitting there saying "wait wait wait"

Yup, haha. She figures it out pretty quickly. Cry=Feed. She'll just have to prepare for the next step of diapers.

I like that you included her being panicked about one of his eyes being red. It's really realistic for a new parents to freak out about every detail that doesn't seem perfectly healthy.

I tried to come down here to make more comments, but IT WAS JUST SO CUTE.

I love the ending, where she said that she had more memories that she could use to make a patronus. I love that she's got that big stressful family, but that she loves it.

Another thing I really liked was that you made it seem like the wizarding world is really nice to new parents, what with the free meal and the Ministry car.

I also liked mentioning Molly's mother!! It's weird to think of her as needing help, but again, totally realistic!

I love this story. And Dementor. They're both such fantastic ideas!!


Author's Response: Hi Georgia!

First of all, thanks!

I got a lot of the ideas from a friend who's recently had a baby talking to another friend, a mother of three. The mother of three telling her to ignore the people telling her she'd be a great mother - it was fine to not be sure about things, and it wasn't fair to worry about all of the pressure.

No-one could be a super-mum straight away. I mean, by the times she's got seven she's probably got the hang of it, and it fits her nature, but it's still a whole load on new things to get her head around and doing stuff in practise is very different to doing it in theory.

Yeah, Arthur! Steady on, give your poor wife a chance to recover! Haha, that's another thing people would probably think: Molly's such a natural mother and she loves having a big family, so she always wanted that. Well, she did want it, but she probably had a bit of doubt after producing the first one!

Of course Molly's mum would be right there, ready to help her daughter. The wizarding world seems to be more like that than ours, more family-centric, and things like travelling aren't really an issue (due to apparation/floo powder) so her mum would be straight there. To have all seven kids, with the necessary age-range, she'd have had to be pretty young when she had the first one - especially as she married straight out of school. So in this story she's probably about 20, not the mature experienced woman Harry sees.

Thank you again! :)

- Leonore

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Review #2, by kenpo Luna Lovegood

6th May 2014:
Hello! Here for the BvB battle!

I hope it's okay that I'm jumping to chapter two... I think that Luna's chapter was my favorite in Dementor, so I wanted to jump straight here!! Also, based on the summary... I wanted to meet her mother!

Awww... this was sweet. Some things that I liked was that you included little bits of things that make her a 'Claw. I'm not sure if it was intentional, but she seems to be learning to read at a very young age. Also, the fact that she remembers all the combinations of colors she's used, and her drive to learn about and record the creatures that she sees. Very Luna.

I love the image of her sitting on her mother's lap tracing golden letters... really very pretty and magical.

I loved the gold. It's a little detail from canon that you've expanded and given more meanings, which was really fantastic.

I'm glad that Luna has such vivid memories of her mother. It's clear that Luna is constantly inspired by the memory of her mother, and you've given her character much more depth.

Great job!


Author's Response: They're all stand-alone, so readers are free to jump in wherever they like! They're only in this order because that's the one I thought of them in.

I like little details, especially when there aren't really all that many of those little details to work from. Because while we have a good picture of Luna's character, there aren't so many pieces of information about her favourite colours, food, etc, and also her past. So I decided to work with the gold.

My brother was reading The Hobbit by the age of four, and I wasn't much different, so I don't think it's necessarily a particularly young age to be learning. I used to write little stories before I even started at school, all about Teddy - still have some of them. That was probably a bit earlier than normal (remembering doing phonics in reception with kids who couldn't read) but reasonable enough with a parent who has the time and motivation to teach it.

Thanks for a lovely review!

- Leonore

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Review #3, by DracosGirl012 Dolores Umbridge

5th May 2014:
I never would've expected Umbridge and Fudge! You did an excellent job though! It's quite believable! Love how her Patronus was a cat! Haha!

Author's Response: Umbridge/Fudge is my OTP! Clearly... not really. :P The cat patronus is canon, so I can't take credit unfortunately :P Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #4, by LightLeviosa5443 Dolores Umbridge

4th March 2014:

I'm here for the BvB review battle!

I really enjoyed this story. I think the way that you wrote this was unique, and the way you gave her a happy memory was interesting. I like that you used Umbridge. I think that we all forget that she's a person when she's not the evil mean pink monster we saw in OotP. I've always wondered just what her happy memory would be. I really liked your take on it, it makes complete and total sense. I could understand and process and visualize that whole thing happening.

Though in my twisted mind I always figured her happy memory was injuring Harry or something equally terrible.

I think you did a great job with this, it flowed pretty well. It moved a tiny bit fast, but it worked because it was a memory and we needed to get from point A to point B fast and with as much detail as possible.

Lovely work!

xoxo LL

Author's Response: Hi!

You liked the fact that it was Umbridge? It's interesting to discover that because I've had mixed responses - mostly "hate her but a little bit less now". I agree we tend to forget that she'd human, so I thought I'd try to remind people a bit.

I couldn't believe that she actually had a strong enough memory to cast a patronus, but she can. And I had a challenge prompt of romance. That's about the limit of the planning stages ;)

When I get bored, things move fast. I'm glad you think it worked - I just couldn't face the idea of trying to do romance in any more detail (it's really not me - give me angst any day!)

Thank you!

- Leonore

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Review #5, by Courtney Dark Dolores Umbridge

16th February 2014:
Hey there! Thank you so much for entering the Uncomfortable Challenge!

Wow, with a prompt like 'Romance' I would never have expected the main character to be Dolores Umbridge! I love that you chose such an underused character to write about, and created a story that is very unique and very original - I have certainly never read another Cornelius/Dolores fanfiction before!

We know so little about Dolores Umbridge, so I'm guessing it would have been both enjoyable and a bit of a challenge coming up with a believable personality for her, that also doesn't make us want to perform Avada Kedavra on her - and I think you did a really good job!

I loved the little details you added like the pink memos and the details of her life at Hogwarts - I especially enjoyed reading those memories, as they somehow made her a lot more human. And Madam Puddifoot's is basically the perfect place for Dolores Umbridge!

This was a really cool idea, I enjoyed reading it!


Author's Response: Thank you! I'd been wanting to write Umbridge for a while, and your challenge gave me the perfect opportunity. I didn't want to do one of the mainstream pairings - far too many of them. There's also the fact that if I made a complete hash of it people wouldn't hate me for ruining their favourite ship!

I know she is perhaps the most hated fictional character across all fandoms, but particularly with the second piece about her which I'm writing now (for another collection, of worst memories), I actually feel sorry for her. I think in the books she is so evil because she has no motivation. I'm giving her the motivation, and suddenly she has become a human being.

Madam Puddifoot's - where else?

You don't want to perform Avada Kedavra on her (any more)? That must be some effective writing! But seriously, thank you, for the review and the challenge. It was well timed, as doing romance for a challenge has got me into the genre just a little - in fact the last of this set is a slash fic. I'm reaching the stage where I have to cave to reviewers' pleas and include Snape/Lily romance in my main novel, so a little practise is definitely not a bad thing!

Glad you enjoyed it - this story has had a mixed response, but that's to be expected. It takes an open mind to accept an Umbridge romance!


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Review #6, by FriendofMolly Helena Ravenclaw

16th January 2014:
That had to be the most unique way to end a story. It certainly is a reason that Helena turned the 'Baron' down. Perhaps why he killed her. I look forward to the flip side of this story.

Author's Response: I like unique! I will get onto the other side shortly - I have the plot mostly thought out. Thank you for reading and reviewing the whole set - a lovely surprise when I logged on.


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Review #7, by MargaretLane Dolores Umbridge

16th January 2014:
*laughs* I've always sort of wondered if Umbridge played a part in the change in Fudge from incompetent, but ultimately kindly figure to cruel and paranoid man. My head canon is that she was working for Voldemort from the start and played on Fudge's arrogance and insecurity. Mainly because I can't stand her and like the idea of her being in league with Voldemort.

Pale pink paper is so typical of her.

It must be hard to write from her point of view, since a lot of how she acts in canon appears quite fake and insincere, so it's hard to know what she's really like underneath (except that she's a pretty horrible person). In this she comes across as quite girly underneath too and yet, there is something else, almost a distaste for her own fluffiness, if that makes sense. Like when she comments on her writing being like a five year olds. This harsher aspect, along with the girly fluffiness does work, I think. It kind of balances the two sides we see to her.

*grins* I noticed the "love" even before she mentioned it. I think it DOES mean something. Fudge doesn't seem the type to use "love" to people who are just friends.

LOVE the line about how his suit would look ridiculous on anybody else. It kind of shows something about love; how everything about the person appeals to the lover, even the parts that they might not like with somebody else. The whole "rose-tinted glasses" thing.

Madame Puddifoot's is the PERFECT place for Umbridge to go on a date. It suits her PERFECTLY. I can imagine her absolutely loving it.

I really like the insight into Umbridge's younger years. Her girliness being a way to compensate for the fact she isn't traditionally good-looking or really gentle and self-effacing in the way girls are sometimes expected to be makes sense. It explains the contrast between her outward demenor and her inner steel. And you've almost made me feel some...not quite sympathy for her, but maybe understanding.

And the part about her driving away the boys who showed and interest in her, but who she wasn't interested in shows that inner toughness, which we also see in canon.

The part about her loving cats but not having one because she doesn't like the mess makes perfect sense.

And you've given her some degree of justification for her actions at Hogwarts - well, not justification because there IS no justification for physically abusing students, but it appears that she was doing it to try and protect somebody she loved, because she felt the situation was causing Fudge too much stress rather than out of malice or prejudice or to give the Death Eaters time to rise.

And now I almost feel sorry for her. She did so much for him and then he just rejects her because he's met somebody better.

And it does explain why she was so cruel to the students at that point, because she was angry and unhappy. Not that it makes it right, but it does make it a little more understandable and less random than in the books, where she seems to be just nasty for the sake of being nasty.

I like the greater insight into how she is feeling. One of the reasons I dislike her so much (and actually why Order of the Phoenix is my least favourite book in the series) is because she comes across as a bit of a parody. EVERY other character, even Voldemort, I can understand their action; I can see their motivations, no matter how appalled I might be, but she seems to be just evil for the sake of being evil and there is no indication of any redeeming features (like Lucius Malfoy's love for his family) or mitigating factors (like Bellatrix's insanity or Voldemort's likely treatment at the hands of Muggles in his youth in an era where orphans were very much looked down upon).

And I LOVE the line about how she didn't cry immediately because she was too shocked. It gives a real impression of how she is feeling.

Author's Response: Have already answered this elsewhere. Thanks for reviewing!

~Leo xx

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Review #8, by FriendofMolly Molly Weasley

16th January 2014:
This was a very lovely memory. Of course Molly's memory for her Patronus involved her children. It was very sweet.

Author's Response: Thank you :)


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Review #9, by FriendofMolly Luna Lovegood

15th January 2014:
I love this memory! As close as Luna is to her father, you had to know that her best memory was with her Mum. I had a suspicion that it was magic that made the dragonfly iridescent, it had to be absolutely the most beautiful picture.
PS Now this was much more enjoyable. I do wonder what inspired the rabbit Patronus? We know the memory, just not internal reason.

Author's Response: I wanted something different to complete the set, a moment that's not in canon. I could have gone with DA, but that's not original. I have no idea what inspired the rabbit patronus, but that's what it is in canon (a hare, anyway). The memory is made stronger because it's the last day they ever spent together. So glad you liked it! I'm with you that it's better than Umbridge, but how could Luna not be?


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Review #10, by FriendofMolly Dolores Umbridge

15th January 2014:
Usually its fascinating to discover what memory is strong enough for a Patronus. This one, gagged me. It also seemed a bit weak. But in Dolores's pathetic life, it had to do.

Author's Response: Umbridge is hardly the easiest character to write, and the fact that she could produce a patronus at all surprises me. But she can, so she must have some reason. It is hardly my favourite of my stories. Thanks for reviewing anyway and sorry you didn't like it.


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Review #11, by MargaretLane Helena Ravenclaw

15th January 2014:
Since these appear to be pretty much separate stories, I'm going to start with this one, as you've intrigued me about it. *grins*

I like the personality you've given Helena Ravenclaw. I didn't quite imagine her like that. Because she's supposed to be quiet as the grey lady and because she wanted to be smarter than her mother, I guess I assumed she was quiet and studious, but your version does make sense. After all, stealing her mother's diadem and running away was pretty adventurous. And certainly the results of what happened would have changed her.

I don't really think you need that part in bracket about there being separate common rooms for girls and boys. Mentioning the girls' common room kind of indicates that anyway.

LOVE the comment about girls not generally being permitted to attend Hogwarts. That fits with the period. In England. As I mentioned in response to your blog, Ireland was quite different on these matters and both boys and girls were sent into fosterage for their education at the age of about 7, I think. Until 14 for girls (though I THINK they could stay longer if they wanted to enter the professions) and until 17 for boys.

That line about Lady Hufflepuff showing Helena the Room of Requirement not quite realising the use she'll make of it amused me.

LOVE the idea about the devil placing her in the wrong body. It seems to fit with how people might think, given the religious and other mores of the time.

I also like the part about Matilda going into a convent.

And I like Lady Hufflepuffs comment about love.

*grins* You could hardly write it in Old English, since it is a completely separate language and would not be intelligible to many people today, except scholars who study older languages and I doubt there are many of them.

Author's Response: Have already answered this elsewhere. Thanks for reviewing!

~Leo xx

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Review #12, by Akussa Dolores Umbridge

14th January 2014:
Hello! I felt like giving out reviews tonight and it is on your story that I decided to have some fun!!

I like the premiss of this collection and the idea behind it. What is at the core of a person's patronus is very personal but also very interesting!

Your first character choice is an interesting one at best. It's very interesting to imagine her being in love with Cornelius and plausible as well. I find it a bit hard to believe that she only managed a patronus at around 40 years of age but the way you present this makes it a bit easier to understand.

I think you did a great job at the romance thing although I'm really not a fan of the genre, I have to admit I laughed (those horrible nicknames!!) and cringed (again, the corny -ness of Dolly!!) but I thoroughly enjoyed it!

I noticed a couple little things that are very easy to fix and caught my eyes so I thouhgt I should mention them. You write :

"expect from a five-year-old.She..."; you forgot the space after the period

"He stumbled back then awkwardlyreturned the embrace."; once again, you forgot the space between the words

See? Very minor things but I prefered mentionning them!!

I enjoyed this chapter a lot, great job!!


Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm really glad you like the romance because I've been worrying about it a bit - never having written it before. I don't know whether you did it deliberately, but I laughed at [again, the corny-ness of Dolly!!] - both nicknames within one set of brackets!

For her to only manage a patronus at 40 - she never tried before that. At the muggle-born trials her patronus protects watchers from the Dementors, and before this she had to either learn to cast one or admit she couldn't so someone else could do it.

Really glad you liked it!


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Review #13, by SereneChaos Molly Weasley

14th January 2014:
It's so nice that Molly's happiest memory is bringing Bill home! I thought it was so funny how Arthur said that he wanted a bunch more children, and Molly's first reply was 'not anytime soon', haha. For the purposes of this chapter, I do think that it might have been interesting to focus on one particular part of the time period between Bill's birth and bringing him home. While it's nice to read the whole section of what happened during that time, since this is Molly's memory for a Patronus, I wonder if zeroing in on a particular moment (perhaps when Bill first opened his eyes and looked at her?) would make the chapter even more poignant. Maybe.

Whatever the case, nice chapter and good job!

Author's Response: Oh yes, I forgot to actually point out the particular moment! Thank you for mentioning that. I think it was the moment she first held him, but I moved on very quickly at the end because I had other stories I was itching to write. I will go back and look at that again when I have a moment.

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #14, by SereneChaos Luna Lovegood

13th January 2014:
Gorgeous. I love, love, love the idea of Luna thinking of her mother as the bird painted in gold. And the mention of Luna switching from orange to gold paint like her mother. This was absolutely beautiful!

Author's Response: I got the gold paint idea from when she paints the pictures on her ceiling. So glad you like it - a change from my usual genre, and a successful one apparently! Chapter 3 is in the queue now. Thank you for reviewing!

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Review #15, by SereneChaos Dolores Umbridge

13th January 2014:
Aw! I'm totally going to secretly ship Dolores/Cornelius from now on, haha. I loved how he called her Dolly--I never would have thought of that for a nickname! This was so sweet, and I'm glad that even a terribly mean character like Umbridge at least had one happy memory. Good work!

Author's Response: Thank you! It's funny, I was just adding the next chapter and the review count started going up. I just couldn't imagine anyone being completely one-dimensional. Delighted my first romance was enough to convince you of the ship!

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