Reading Reviews for Doorsteps
  
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by AlexFan Wide Green Eyes

17th January 2014:
I've finally gotten around to reviewing this challenge entry and I must say, this was a surprise given the quote that I gave you. I always pictured it as something that a parent would say to their child with pride shining through their eyes and clear in their voice. I most certainly did not expect it to be used for Dudley throwing food but that was so brilliant and funny that I loved it.

I thought this was absolutely hilarious, you captured the Dursley's perfectly, I imagine that this was probably exactly what they were like before Harry arrived at their house. I could picture everything that was happening, especially the part where Petunia was telling Vernon the gossip about Number 7.

The Dursley's painted this picture of the perfect family what with Petunia making breakfast while feeding Dudley and Vernon getting ready to go to work. It's the picture of your typical perfect family.

One of the best parts about this was definitely Petunia and Vernon cooing over Dudley. One second they're going on about how their Diddykins didn't make this much noise and fuss when he was little but they completely ignore the fact that he starts banging his spoon on the table. It's exactly what they would do as Dudley grew older, completely ignore the bad things that he did and instead just focus on the good. You've got to give the Dursley's credit for one thing though, they definitely loved their son even though they were horrible people.

Good luck on the challenge and the results should be up soon!

Author's Response: Hi! Bahaha yes, I thought of this little plunny for the Missing Moments Canon Challenge nd then I thought that wow, that quote would fit in so well with Petunia and Vernon's almost obssessive love for Dudley, so I put in that episode with Dudley throwing his food. I'm so glad you enjoyed my use of the quote, I can't deny that it made me laugh when I was writing this. :D

Writing that Dursleys was actually really intimidating for me, I think canon characters are really difficut to get right, but I'm so glad you think I characterised them well! And I'm really glad you picture this in your mind, I was hoping that there was enough description.

Hehe yeah, I think they're the type of people who definitely pride themselves on being the perfect family.

Yay, I'm so glad you liked them! I was worried they would be a little unrealistic actually but that is what they do best, ignore Dudley's faults and obssess and exaggerate his strengths. You're right, they did love their son and I think that's their redeeming quality in my eyes. :)

I really enjoyed this challenge, thank you for starting it!

And thank you for this wonderful review as well, it really made my day. :)


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Review #2, by xTimexTurnerx Wide Green Eyes

16th January 2014:
Hello! Ms. Lizzie from the Missing Moments Challenge! Sorry for the delay! I was waiting for all the entries to be completed before I set to review!

I really enjoyed what you did with this scene, the Dursleys were so fantastically canon and well written, good job. My favorite line was: "Did you know about Number Seven?' Petunia asked as she scraped some butter over Vernons toast. 'I heard from Arabella that theyre thinking about divorce!" I love that they refer to their neighbors by the house number, not by their names.

Also, I thought the last bit with Petunia acknowledging Harry was a perfect way to end it. I would have liked to know maybe just a little more about her thought, if she knew Lily was dead, but all in all well done!

I'll post the Challenge results very soon!

xx Lizzie

Author's Response: Hello there!

I'm so happy that you think I wrote the Dursleys well! Even though they're not really main characters, I found it quite intimidating to try and write thenm, and I'm so glad you think their characterisation was good. :) Yeah, I think that someone who gossips as much as Petunia was purported to wouldn't really have much repect for others, hence her referring to them by their house numbers and not their names. I'm glad you liked that little touch!

Ooh yay, I'm glad you liked it! I wrote it in a couple of minutes and really wasn't sure whether to put it in or not, and in the end I did because I'd already written it so I may as well. ;)

Thank you so much for this lovely challenge, I really enjoyed writing this for it! :D

And thanks for this lovely review as well, I really loved it. :)


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Review #3, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing Wide Green Eyes

15th January 2014:
Hey there :)

Laurenzo7321 here for the review swap. I hope you don't mind me picking this, but as soon as I saw it was missing moment I had to come and read it... Missing moments are my favourite stories so I was so excited to see what you had in store!!

Well, you didn't disappoint! I really enjoyed getting this little snippet of the Dursleys life before Harry. In your AN you mentioned trying to pull of the style of JK and I think you very much succeeded. Reading this definitely reminded me of reading the first book when Vernon hears everybody whispering on the street about Harry and also the "strange looking people" that we of course know are wizards so you did an amazing job there, well done!!

Your characterisation in this I absolutely can't fault. I loved that you got in Petunia's obsessiveness to have everything orderly, and also her nosiness and gossiping, even if Vernon didn't really care. And you definitely made Vernon to be very boring! When he was picking his shirt I was sat giggling to myself... So nicely done. And then of course they both adore Dudley like he's a prince or something so yeah, all fantastic points!!

The end section was the perfect way of ending this. I don't know, the way you wrote it got me all excited and want to pick up the first book and start reading all over again. It definitely could have slotted in to the first book!

My one bit of CC would be to maybe lengthen the part where Vernon finds Harry. First of all, he's just found a baby on his doorstep. I think you did the puzzlement well but I kind of expected more of a reaction afterwards, but he easily let's petunia talk him into going to work. If I found a baby on my doorstep I think I would be ringing in sick and doing something about it. You could have Vernon kicking off a bit more in the kitchen shouting but petunia ignores both him and Dudley as you finish your last section maybe as one option? Or even him just not knowing what to do and petunia taking over? Something for you to consider maybe anyway. My second point about this section is it should happen the day after Vernon's heard about Harry Potters from the people wearing weird clothes, correct me if I'm wrong? So... Maybe an inkling of who the baby is? A feeling of dread? A moment of realisation between the two of them. I love that petunia recognises him from the eyes but Vernon wouldn't so you could have him thinking about the day before?

Anyway, this was a fantastic one shot that I really enjoyed reviewing! I'm glad we swapped!! I didn't notice any typos either so well done on great editing!

Well done,
Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hey there Lauren! :D

Of course I don't mind you picking this! I agree, missing moments are wonderful, that's why I entered the challenge. :P It's so fascinating to see what you can stick into the series around the already-there canon obstacles.

Ah, I'm so glad that you think so! Dursley life before Harry was actually surprisingly easy for me to write. Let's not think about what that means about my personality. :P I was trying for a JK kind of style, and I'm so glad you think I pulled that off! :D I reread the first chapter of PS about three times while writing this, I'm really happy you think I did a good job with all that.

Haha, I had a great time writing Petunia and Vernon, and I’m really glad that you think I characterised them well! Yep, Petunia is definitely a neat-freak, nosy, annoying, gossipy person, and even Vernon doesn’t pay very much attention to what she talks about. And they both definitely adore Dudley, I think their redeeming feature would be how much they adore Dudley. You can’t really read about the Dursleys without a healthy dose of boring, but I’m glad that you found him picking out a shirt amusing. :P

Hahaha, I’m so glad you enjoyed the ending! I’ve always been a fan of the idea that Petunia and Harry reconciled, so I decided to stick that little scene on the end. :)

Ah, I think you’re right , it is kind of unrealistic that Vernon would allow himself to be ushered out of the house in that way. But then, that needed to happen for the end scene to take place, so… Maybe ignore that? :P Nah, you’re right, I’ll go back and edit this at some point. And yes, you’re also right that it takes place the day after Vernon sees all the strange people with cloaks, so I’ll definitely go back and try to add some more emotion to that bit. And Vernon thinking about the day before is a great idea, I’ll try to implement that in somehow. :D

I’m so glad you didn’t notice any typos, my inner editor is throwing a party at that comment. :P I really enjoyed the swap as well!

Thanks so much for this amazing review, it really made my day. :D


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Review #4, by greenbirds Wide Green Eyes

11th January 2014:
this was such an interesting read! you write canon so well. it was interesting seeing petunia's reaction and vernon made me chuckle :p good one!

Author's Response: Yay, I'm glad you found this interesting! This is my second real go at writing canon, and I'm really happy you enjoyed it! Hehe, their reactions were quite funny to write. Thanks for the review! :)

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Review #5, by kenpo Wide Green Eyes

10th January 2014:
Hey, here for the review battle!

I thought this was great! You said you felt that it was dry and boring. It wasn't awfully exciting, no, but it was short enough to keep my attention. It gave a little peek into what their lives were pre-Harry (remarkable similar to post-Harry, wouldn't you say?)

I loved the style that you wrote in. I think you really captured what they're attitudes are towards the world and what types of people they are. Petunia as a mother of an infant was hilarious and completely in character. I can really see how Dudley turned out to be who we knew.

I liked how to integrated Mrs. Figg at the end. It doesn't surprise me that she was watching out for him:)

This review is completely out of order... but I loved when they found Harry. I think their reactions were perfect! And then Petunia covering it all up and telling Vernon to leave when she thinks she knows who he is... perfect. Then again when she ignored Dudley. I think it really showed how much Harry did mean to her. She didn't treat him well but I really do think that she loved him.

I didn't think this was dry at all. It was a perfect missing-moments, and gave insight into the characters. I loved it.

Author's Response: Hey! I hope you're Blue. :P

Ah, I'm so glad you thought so! I'm glad that you could read all the way to the end, I think this has a lot less emotion in it as a lot of my other stuff. Bahaha yeah, their lives pre- and post- Harry dumped on their doorstep is very similar!

I'm so happy you think that the style of this piece was fitting to the story. It's pretty much impossible to have a story about the Dursley family without a healthy dose of boring. Petunia is a very indulgent person when it comes to her Diddykins. xD I'm glad she was in character!

Yeah, I think that even a Squib will have heard of Harry Potter, and we know that Harry went round to her house (on Dumbledore's orders) from a relatively young age, so I thought I'd stick her in there. :P

I'm really glad you liked it! I've always been a fan of the thought that Harry and Petunia might have reconciled, so there's that at the end. I hope she did love him, in the end.

I'm so glad you liked it! Thank you so much for this lovely review. :D



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Review #6, by MissesWeasley123 Wide Green Eyes

7th January 2014:
Hi there! Here for day 12 of the 12 Days of reviewing!

First of all, CONGRATS ON YOUR DUEL BECAUSE, WHUT YOU WON! And also congrats on this piece as well, because I definitely think you should be proud of this. It's an excellent entry.

I think what I loved most was when they found the baby. It was priceless. Petunia suggesting they return it, as if it was a piece of clothing that was a size too small, and then Vernon's temper getting in the way. It was amazingly well written, and great work on that.

Dursley, though he didn't talk, was hilarious! I loved how even baby Dursley had the same characteristics as older Dudley, which I found very sweet and also funny.

Petunia was great, and as usual -- nosy. I found it really cool that even Mrs Figg gossips with Petunia, ha! That's hilarious, and such a great nod to canon.

The ending, the ending! It was superb, to be honest. That suspense in those few lines as her eyes met Harry's and when the realization dawned on her.. perfect, perfect, perfect!

Great piece Emily, very cute and good luck in all of your challenges!

Author's Response: Hello Nadia! Congrats on getting through all the days, I couldn't do it. :(

AHH THANK YOU SO MUCH! That was pretty much my reaction when I found out I won, hehe. And thank you for the compliments on this piece as well!

Haha yeah, Vernon and Petunia didn't know what to do! And the clothing analogy is perfect, that's how she always treated him in the books as well, and Vernon has a pretty explosive temper. I'm so flattered you think it was well-written! :D

Hehe yeah, I find it funny how Dudley with horrible manners as a baby seems cute, but then as an eleven-year-old with the same manners he's awful. :P

I'm so glad you think Petunia was good! Nosiness is definitely a big part of her, and I figured that to send Harry to her all the time Petunia must have had an at least okay relationship with Mrs Figg, so I just made them gossip partners. :P

Ah, thank you! I wrote that tiny little scene just before throwing this in the queue and I was undecided on whether I should stick it in or not, and in the end I just decided I may as well. ;) I'm so happy you liked it!

Thank you for the luck and for this lovely review Nadia, it absolutely made my day! :D


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Review #7, by UnluckyStar57 Wide Green Eyes

5th January 2014:
Hello! For the Tenth Day of Reviewing, I'm reviewing stories that have been published quite recently.

I thought that this was cute! The Dursleys are only mildly acceptable at best, but I think that you showed them in their best light. After all, they love Dudley a lot--maybe too much--and I think that you captured that perfectly. They are just SO PROUD of his minor accomplishments. I'm glad that they were still disdainful of other people's children while being enraptured with their own--they're hypocrites, and that should never change. :)

Of course, their lives were completely "ruined" when Harry Potter turned up on their doorstep, and it's great that you wrote them in their last morning of domestic peace.

Great story! Good luck in your challenges!

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Hello! Ahaha I just finished myself. :P

Ah yay, I'm glad you think so! The Dursleys are pretty awful people, and I'm glad I captured them in a better light! Bahaha yeah, Dudley is like their whole life and they love him so much. Yeah, they are very hypocritical and I'm glad you think I captured that.

Bahaha yeah, he disrupted their nice normal lives by showing up on their doorsteps. So ungrateful of him. :P

Thank you for this lovely review and the luck! :D


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Review #8, by patronus_charm Wide Green Eyes

4th January 2014:
CONGRATS ON WINNING AND BEING FEATURED! Ah, I loved Gone and it was such a great read, so I couldnt resist coming along with a congratulatory review :D

Ah the beginning of this chapter was perfect. ♥ So much Dursley fluff it was almost rather cute. I really loved how Petunias names for Dudley didnt change from baby to teenager :P I think Dudley was my favourite here with the way he was so spoilt and demanding attention. It really made wonder what would have happened if Harry hadnt come along and sort of changed him because of the dementors.

The normalcy you created at the beginning was so perfect too. It was all so boring and it made wonder how Petunia could be content with giving her son breakfast every day and then seeing off her husband and doing the casual gossip. At least Harry came along and made it a bit more exciting for them, so they should be grateful more than anything!

I love how Vernon has no heart at all when he comes across the baby, all he cares about is preserving the purity of his son and nothing else and you showed his vileness really well! I loved the moment of realisation when Harry opened his eyes and Petunia figured out who he was. It was nice to see that she and her sister were close enough that that detail would always remain strong. Also, all the evil thoughts about giving him away beforehand sort of evaporated which was sweet too.

Ah, I nearly gushed/squeed when Petunia acknowledged him as her nephew. One of my biggest wishes for this series is that Petunia and Harry had been friends and made it up afterwards, so sort of getting it here while he was a baby almost granted me that. I really loved that ending moment because the mix of emotions was great and you wrote it really well.

A great one-shot, Emily!

-Kiana

Author's Response: KIANA! AHH THANK YOU SO MUCH! I couldn't believe it, all the entries were so amazing! And wow, thank you for the compliment about gone!

Bahaha I actually found writing Dursley fluff quite easy, let's not think about what that means about me as a person. :P And cute is what I was aiming for, so yay! Hehe yeah, I always thought that Dudley's names originated when he was a baby and Petunia just continued using them. :P Dudley is your favourite character? Hehe, that's the first time I heard anyone say that. I'm guessing he would be a whole lot more spoilt if Harry hadn't been in his life.

Yay for normalcy then, that's exactly what i was aiming for. And haha, I don't think you can write the Dursleys without a healthy dose of boring, and I think that in Petunia's eyes her boring life now is much better than a life with her freak sister, which is really sad. :( Bahaha yeah, Harry livened everything up for them, so they should be grateufl. :P

Yeah, Vernon always struck me as one of those people who's really nice to anyone he cares about but he doesn't care at all about anyone he doesn't like. Yeah, I think that since everyone seems to be obsessed with Lily's eyes that would be the thing Petunia remembers best, and Harry having her sister's eyes would shock her. I mean, I'm pretty sure even the Dursleys have some kind of standards not to give away relatives. :P

Ah I know! I always wanted them to reconcile as well, and so I wrote that and stuck it on the end really quickly. Ah, I'm so glad you think I wrote the emotions well.

Thank you so, so much for this amazing review Kiana, it absolutely made my day. :D Thank you!


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Review #9, by LavenderBlue Wide Green Eyes

4th January 2014:
I could just be a weirdo, but I always looked forward to reading the "Dursley bit" at the start of each new Harry Potter book. Loved this. I didn't think it was at all boring, but rather showed a great command over the language. Your descriptions made me giggle without feeling like you were digging for a laugh, and you did a great job of incorporating Rowling's descriptions of the Dursleys--like Petunia being enough of a snoop to check on her neighbors first thing in the morning. I especially loved the "Maybe we should give it back" line. Baha.

Author's Response: Hello! Haha no, you're not a weirdo at all, the Dursleys are pretty interesting in their own boring way, if that makes sense. ;) I'm glad you found this interesting, and that you liked my use of language. I'm really happy you found my descriptions amusing, and I did make an effort to keep in canon, so I'm glad my efforts paid off! Haha, thank you! And thanks for this lovely review, it made my night. :D

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Review #10, by SereneChaos Wide Green Eyes

3rd January 2014:
Haha, I loved this! Especially Petunia suggesting that they give Harry back! To be honest, I found your tone full of dry humor, which is exactly how I think the Dursleys need to be portrayed. It wasn't boring in the least, and there were quite a few little funny moments in the chapter (I also liked Vernon's last line about nosy neighbors, haha). It ends the scene so perfectly that I feel as though the last scene with Petunia and Harry isn't really necessary. That said, I loved this story and thanks for writing it! 9/10!

Author's Response: Yay, I'm so glad you did! Yeah, I tossed that in there for fun, haha, and I wasn't aiming for dry humour but I'm so glad you found some anyway! Little funny moments are very helpful in livening up chapters, and yeah I was wondering whether that last was really necassary but in the end I stuck it on the end because I'd already written it. I'm so glad you liked this story and haha no problem! :D Thank you for this lovely review!

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Review #11, by marauderfan Wide Green Eyes

3rd January 2014:
YAY

This is cool! It's very different to your other pieces. I don't think it was dry - it just obviously wasn't as emotional as some of your other work (and it really couldn't be, given the prompt.)

Then she descended the stairs, craning her neck to see whether the neighbours had gotten up yet and smirking slightly when she saw that their house was still dark. -- This is Petunia in a nutshell - she would absolutely do that, thinking herself superior for waking up and starting her day earlier than the neighbours, haha!

And Dudley smacking his spoon on the table, throwing food everywhere and making a racket just after Petunia complains about the neighbours is perfect too, as is their reaction.

Love the cameo of Mrs Figg in there as well, already beginning to keep a lookout for Harry!

You asked if it was boring. I think it has the perfect amount of boring - you can't write a day in the life of Vernon Dursley without a healthy dose of boringness, so I think the bland first part was quite appropriate to the story, what with him picking out his most impressive suit-and-tie combination. It actually does read very similarly to the first chapter of Philosophers Stone so well done on that!

This was a cute story Emily, great job! :)

Author's Response: YAY

Hi Kristin! Yeah, it's definitely different, but I'm glad you think it's cool! Hahaha yeah, the prompt prevented too much emotion finding its way into the story.

Bahaha yeah I stuck that in because I thought it was amusing, and, well, Petunia-ish. I'm glad you think it's in canon with her character. :)

Haha, I wondered if it was a bit contrived but I stuck it in anyway, haha. I'm happy you think that it's good!

Yeah, we know that from an early age he was sent to her house and she gave him a horrid time on purpose because she wanted to keep an eye on him, so I put her in as well. But I'm rambling now haha.

So it was boring enough but not too boring it was unreadable? Eh, that's good then. The suit-and-tie thing was one of my main worries actually, putting the reasioning and everything was a bit of a decision for me. It does read similarly?! Wow, thank you!

Thank you for this amazing review Kristin! I loved it, it was the perfect thing to cheer me up today because I'm going back to school tomorrow ahahaha. :P


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Review #12, by Fonzzx Wide Green Eyes

3rd January 2014:
I think you got all the characters spot on. I enjoyed reading this! :D

Author's Response: I'm so glad you think so, and I'm happy you enjoyed this. :) Thank you!

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