Reading Reviews for Rabbit Heart
140 Reviews Found

Review #1, by BellatrixLover3 Hearts in the Flesh

4th November 2014:
OMG! Is Rose a vampire now? I loved the chapter! I updated a lot of my stories if you want to check them out!

Author's Response: Hey, thanks! I'm glad you liked it.

Poor Rose...

 Report Review

Review #2, by MargaretLane Charmed Hearts

27th October 2014:
LOVE the way your portray the conflict in Wren's head - between her fondness for her rabbit, and ability to feel his unhappiness and her growing awareness that something here isn't quite right.

There are a couple of places in the chapter where you are missing chapter breaks. Not that it really matters, but thought I'd point it out to you.

This might be a personal preference, but I also feel you are using Albus and Wren's names rather a lot. As there is only one guy and one girl involved in the conversation, just saying "he" or "she" would make it clear who you're referring to.

Hmm, the question about whether the rabbit has got to Albus is an interesting one. I don't think he has really. I think the pull between them is just that of attraction. And I like her suspicion of it.

And I really like the comment about how she COULD do without Albus but didn't want to.

When Albus thinks that trying to come up with a reasonable excuse for his duel would be nearly impossible, you've put a small "t" at the start of "trying" even though it's the first word in the sentence.

I'm glad Wren's had a break from Bunny's influence. Hope it continues.

I still am wondering why some people are more affected by the rabbits than others. I've a feeling it's related to unhappiness. Or emotional turmoil or something like that. Most of the people affected seem to be people who have some kind of issues going on or people who aren't very happy.

Serena seems to have a bit of a one-track mind. It's like all she's interested in about the guys are how well they photograph.

I wonder what she's seen in the picture of Bunny. That is kinda creepy.

And poor Wren. Between the history of mental illness in her family (even if her grandparents was caused by a specific event and therefore unlikely to be hereditary), combined with her weird experiences with Bunny are enough to make anybody question their sanity.

Seems like Wren think Smeed is causing this when it seems like he's trying to prevent, even if it is only to prevent retaliation against vampires in general.

And yay, Gran seems to be getting better. I hope she's recovered.

Author's Response:

Oh hey!

Head conflict can be tricky, so it pleases me to no end that you got that bit about Wren.

I went back and fixed up some of those line breaks. I've been using Google Docs lately, and I have been putting my chapters back into Word for final editing. That seems to mess up the formatting and I end up missing things. Hope it's better now.

I hope Wren gets a nice break too. She's been through an awful lot and it's got to be hard when you have this thing in your head giving you all kinds of bad ideas.

Serena. That's her. I don't know what else to say about that, so I won't.

Yay for Gran's emergence! Though the timing might be a little off. Yes, poor Wren. She hasn't gotten many breaks in the story. She might not have it all right in her head yet, but she is getting more of a clue. Hopefully these characters can pull it together soon.

Thanks for your lovely words! I do appreciate them!

 Report Review

Review #3, by BellatrixLover3 Charmed Hearts

26th October 2014:
Whoa! Quick question, I know this sounds stupid, but what is a thrall? Maybe I skipped that part, or you didn't describe it but I have no clue what a thrall is. Please explain, because I really like this book and do not want to spend the rest of it confused.

Author's Response:

Well, a thrall is supposed to be someone who willingly allows a vampire to feed off of them, but in this story, it got a little twisted.

Thanks for continuing to read my story!

 Report Review

Review #4, by 1917farmgirl Trusting Hearts

13th October 2014:
You know, for purportedly writing a story about teen angst and drama and mushiness and most likely spoons, you sure manage to put in an awful lot of intense, real, human emotions. I literally just had this conversation with WYHO about this fic:

Me - How the heck does Pix's supposedly silly story about blood-sucking rabbits and teen angst always make me cry?

WYHO - Cause she's brilliant like that?

Me - Amen.

And it's true! You went and made me cry again. There is just something so touching and personal about those sections with Gran. It just...GAH! You owe me lots and lots of tissues.

And then, you throw in a creepy little kid.

I know much about this Dillon...which I shall refrain from saying. But, I'm still so curious! Despite what I know, he seems a completely non-normal way. Is he evil? Or just alone? Who is this mother?

And the most important question? Why do you have to make little kids and sweet little bunnies evil?

Bunny - :(

Teen angst and vampires? - yeah right. This is really tragedy and real life and emotion and truth mixed up with crazy writing skills and great descriptions, all stirred by the spoon of AWESOMENESS...because you are.

Seriously, Pix, you are fooling no one here, with your claims of it "just being a teen drama story."

Author's Response:

Um... hi. How do I respond to that?

Okay, firstly in my defense, I am still allergic to angst, the drama has been comparatively low-key, and Albus has never gotten Wren over for toffee pudding yet, so the spoons are a bit absent at this point.

*hands tissues*

I don't know if it will make you feel any better, but Gran doesn't have a lot of scenes in the story as a whole, so maybe you could bear with the whole of it, and we'll sneak Gran out the back when it gets to be too much.

As for Dillon and the bunnies, you were absolutely forewarned about that.

Ahh, the human condition! It's something I don't think I come close to doing justice most of the time, and you are making me feel like I've got a bit of it right. You have flattered me to no end, which seems to be a talent of yours, so I can only thank you for your kind words and bask in this ridiculously flattering review.

Thank you!

 Report Review

Review #5, by MargaretLane Somewhere in the Heart

11th October 2014:
That part about him lapping up blood is a bit creepy.

Hmm, I wonder how Dillon is continuing to access her mind and how this'll end.

Shouldn't "timetables" be one word? I was reading it as "times tables" and thinking, "but they don't learn Maths at Hogwarts."

Like the reference to the book club. Young witches and wizards really need more options for leisure. All there seems to be is Quidditch, wizard chess and gobstones. And the wireless, I guess. But they have no TVs, no computers, only one sport, only leave Hogwarts maybe once a month and then only to go shopping or to the pub - no concerts or discos or dances. They don't even seem to have all that much fiction, although that may be because Hermion, Ron and Harry don't really seem the types to be into fiction, Ron and Harry because they aren't that into reading and Hermione seems to prefer factual stuff.

Smeed and Burns intrigue me.

And Ah, they seem to have summed a little bit up about what's going on. The rabbits being enthralled explains a certain amount and I'm guessing Dillon had a magical parent.

Dillon is back. *grins* He rather interests me. I like him as a character. The fact that he's pretty much the villain and yet in some ways, he gains my sympathy, makes him very interesting.

Hmm, I wonder who he is expecting to come out and greet him. It sounds like it's Summers and Pince.

Oooh, the ending is creepy.

And I wonder why his mother told him not to enthrall people directly.

Author's Response:

Hi again!

Sorry for the delayed response, but you know the drill. Anyway, I'm still here and I love that you are continuing to let me know your thoughts on these chapters.

Well yes, the lapping of blood was supposed to be creepy. The story mechanics sort of ran away from me with this one. That'll teach me not to make them so complicated next time... I hope. :P

I should fix that word. Thanks for the catch!

I agree with you on the leisure activities. I bet you and I could brainstorm a whole list of things that these kids can do with their extracurricular time at Hogwarts. I love stories that expand on that. There are so many possibilities!

Smeed and Burns intrigue me too. LOL!

I often ask myself why it's easier for me to write the creepy, dark characters than anything else. Then I try to forget that I ever asked, because maybe I don't want to know the answer to that. Ah well. Maybe my next story will be all about creepy and dark and I can go explore that for a bit.

Thanks for another thoughtful review! I really am grateful that you keep reading, even after the challenge is over.

 Report Review

Review #6, by BellatrixLover3 Somewhere in the Heart

10th October 2014:
Great chapter as always

Author's Response:

Thanks for coming back and reading more!


 Report Review

Review #7, by What's in a name Hearty Heart Heart

8th October 2014:
This fic is really good and I supremely enjoy it

Author's Response:
Thank you so much! For some strange reason, I supremely enjoy writing it!

 Report Review

Review #8, by TidalDragon Heart Tracks

6th October 2014:
Howdy! It's been QUITE awhile! Sorry it took me so long to get to this, life's been a bit of a nightmare recently and it's only getting crazier. I keep telling myself I'm going to make it to Christmas, but sometimes I think I'm going to pass out for sure before that happens.

ANYWAY...this was a rather simple and straightforward chapter, making it a good one to ease back into the story. James continues on with his mischief, really living up to his namesake, but I'm incredibly intrigued to see just what Albus gets up to now that he (at least ostensibly) has the map. Is there a plot wrinkle in our future? It seems the map would be quite an asset to that little creeper Dillon.

Speaking of his creepiness, it just continues to grow right there along with his boldness. Having his little horde just attack people like that is really something else.

As far as the details of the writing go, I thought you had a nice balance between the descriptions, thoughts, and dialogue. You have a real talent for that, and for accomplishing it with a minimum of fuss but still getting your ideas across eloquently. The only thing that came across as a touch off to me was this bit: "...snuck into the Slytherin shower room to charm one of the stalls to only let his brother in..." To steal his towel, wouldn't he want to make sure he only goes into one particular stall, thus locking all but one against Albus rather than making it so one specifically opened for him? I don't know, it's very late and perhaps I'm confused, but this seemed a touch off.

Even though it's been awhile, I will say I miss Wren. I hope she's alright with that little monster living off her like a leech! Hopefully she'll be around next time?

Author's Response: Hi! Welcome back to crazy rabbits!

The map would be quite an asset, you're right. But I don't want to make things too easy for these characters. I guess you'll have to see how it plays out in the end.

Thanks! I try to have some balance, and I don't like hitting people over the head with spelling out things that they could reasonably figure out on their own. On the flip side, I do tend to lack a certain clarity from time to time. I'm constantly working on that. I'm glad you thought most things were in place. Yeah, that actiony bit kind of ran away from me. I'll put that on my list of things to clean up later. Thanks!

Aww, Wren misses you too. Don't worry. I think this was the only chapter that she doesn't appear in.

Thanks so much for the incredibly lovely review! I'm sure you'll make it to Christmas in one piece. Take some time to stop and breathe. That usually helps with the not-passing-out. :)


 Report Review

Review #9, by UnluckyStar57 Hearts and Spades

4th October 2014:
Oh my gosh, it's been so long! Sorry for filling your request a whole month late, but now I'm back and more confused than ever! :D

Poor Albus. He's so into Wren, but she's so into Bunny. And there's that creepy rabbit that he's got... Will he succumb to the bunny mania?! I hope not. The way Wren talks to the bunny still disgusts me. It's super creepy and just plain weird. And I want to know what's going on, but I just can't figure it out!

Ooh, what is Scorpius plotting? Albus is obviously in on the scheme, but he's wayyy too caught up in Wren to be of much use. Did he steal the Marauders' Map from James? Is that what the parchment is? And what is this "stone" that Scorpius wants? The Resurrection Stone? It has really been way too long since I've read this story. That needs to change!

Serena is super strange for taking pictures of Scorpius's muscles. Like seriously, why?! She must have a fascination with the human body (which is excusable), or a fascination with Scorpius (which is less excusable). Is Scorpius just going after her to get under Rose's skin? Is Scorose even a viable ship in this story? (Well, not if he's snogging Serena, for sure!)

Oh, Wren. Such a weird little bird. Arrgghh, I don't even know how to handle her utter concentration and dependence on the bunny. It is just too creepy!

As for the plot and the too-many-characters thing, no! I think that you're using the perfect amount of characters--just enough to make it interesting, but not so many that I get (too) confused. The whole Wren/bunny thing is becoming a very heavy topic, and it keeps popping up, but that's the whole point of the story, I think. :)

Brilliant job! Hopefully I can read the next chapter before I forget what's going on. :D


Author's Response: Why hello!!

I don't mind the lateness, as long as you get around to it eventually.

Oh, Albus and the rabbits... they don't get along as well as Wren and her rabbit. He's thinking the same thing as you though. What is up with Wren and that rabbit??

Scorpius is great fun to write in this story. I don't know why, but I tend to start babying my minor characters more than my main characters. He's fun, and he tries to keep Albus entertained. Oh, and Serena is, well, yeah. She's super strange alright. As far as Scorpius goes, let's just say that he goes about things in all the wrong ways.

I'm relieved that you think the cast of characters is okay. I've never had to juggle this many in a fic before, so it gets a bit overwhelming at times.

Thanks so much for coming back and reading again, and also for the super nice review!


 Report Review

Review #10, by MargaretLane Tenderized Hearts

2nd October 2014:
Poor Wren. She seems very shaken by this whole thing.

And I like the way you mention it again later on. It draws attention to the fact she's still dealing with that panicyness, even while other things are happening, which is easy for the reader to forget.

OK, I'm not quite sure what that rabbit is all about. It's definitely REALLY creepy. And I wonder if Summers sent them there on purpose because of the rabbit being there.

*cheers for Wren managing to fight off Bunny's demands* I don't know whether it is the right or the wrong thing to do in this situation, but at least she doesn't seem to be completely in thrall anymore and that has to be good.

I'm wondering now if the bite will have some kind of effect on Albus or if it was just getting blood.

And it seems like some of the things Bunny is telling her are helpful. This is getting weirder and weirder. Poor Wren. She's having a REALLY rough time.

I'm not sure the fact she's defending Bunny is a good thing though.

LOVE the comment about Madame Pince reminding her of the monsters. It's so wonderfully creepy.

I'm glad Albus is OK and that Wren is thinking that maybe she shouldn't let Bunny close to her.

Author's Response:

I think anyone would be shaken by that, but that's just me. :) I'm trying to get Wren to start thinking (more) clearly now, but it's hard because she's still partially under the influence of Bunny. The difference is that she is aware of it, which helps.

It's all my fault. I set up all these convoluted, twisty story mechanics, and now I'm paying for it. It's incredibly difficult to keep things straight and show what needs to be shown without confusing the heck out of people. Sigh. Okay, next time, it will be a straight-up thing with no complications...

*looks at next WIP*

Uh oh.

Thanks for coming back for another chapter! I love your reviews!

 Report Review

Review #11, by BellatrixLover3 Tenderized Hearts

1st October 2014:
I love it! I hope Albus is okay! I finished my story Dark Heart, and I am continuing it in a sequel, The Final Curse of Fate! Please update soon!

Author's Response: Hi again!

I hope Albus is okay too. He's too sweet to get sucked into things... ahh, maybe that was poor word choice there.

Thanks for reading and reviewing, and congrats on finishing your story!

 Report Review

Review #12, by Gabriella Hunter Have a Heart

1st October 2014:

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long to get to you. I would have been here sooner but I was really busy and haven't had much time to do any reading or reviewing. It was a major pain.

Anyway, on to this! I haven't really read many stories that feature Neville's children as the main characters but I think that you really have something special here. Wren has a lot of good character traits already set up in this first chapter, I was able to get a good feel for her without having to struggle to follow along. I think that maybe I was able to understand her better with how she felt about moving away from her home. I think everyone's had a moment like that but there's some interesting mystery surrounding the reason.

I never thought of Neville's grandmother like thi before but I love that you've turned it around and made her so vulnerable. I do wonder what will happen to her though and it was really sad to hear about Neville's parents. I don't think there was anything to be done for them but I do hope that Augusta will eventually come out of her grief. There's something more going on there, I think but I'm sure you'll get to that soon...there's that creepy light that's really getting to me now.

Is it a spirit? I am really curious about it and I am just as determined to find out as Wren is--it kidnapped a bunny! I do not agree with that at all! >:(

So, I liked all of your side characters as well, Rose, Albus and James were very likeable. I liked that you didn't beat me over the head with their own family's history either and just let the story carry them through. I got enough of their personalities here to not need a lot of detail right now and their friendships with one another seem solid.

I don't have any CC's to offer either so I'm just going to wait for you to re-request this so I can figure out what happened to that bunny. Hahahaha.

Thanks for the read!

Much love,


Author's Response: Gabbie!

Seriously, it is always nice to get a review, so who cares how long it takes for life to give you a moment. I'm just glad you made it.

It just makes sense to me that Neville would stay connected on some level with Harry and Ron and their families. I imagine that their kids would at least know of each other. Besides, it's too convenient to use the canon kids as friends of Wren. I'm glad you got a feel for them. They're fun.

One of the reasons I chose Wren was because I couldnt remember ever reading about any Longbottom Nextgen as main characters. The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea and the potential back ground a kid like that would have. So much room to play!

All I have to say about the creepy light is, if you are interested, then it did its job.

Thanks for coming around and leaving such a lovely review!

See you next time!

 Report Review

Review #13, by MargaretLane Hearty Heart Heart

21st September 2014:
I'm FINALLY getting around to reading this.

Really like the way you develop the background of vampires. It fits really well with canon and the way wizards think they are superior to all other magical beings, while at the same time adding something new.

*cheers for McGonagall* While the incident isn't acceptable, especially the slapping - they are too old to deal with incidents by pushing and slapping like 10 year olds - it's pretty clear both parties realised immediately that they'd overstepped the mark and that further intervention really wasn't necessary.

And she has a good point about how students taking things into their own hands at Hogwarts hasn't always ended well, from Harry's first year, when it was HE who put the stone in danger (had the trio stayed out of the whole thing, Quirrell/Voldemort would have been left standing in front of the Mirror of Erised, unable to do anything) to his fifth when Sirius died, partly due to Harry's actions.

*laughs* Basil Fronsac's portrait plays a (small) part in my next gen too, but I have him portrayed very differently. Funny to see the different portrayals of characters who are really just names. LOVE your version, by the way.

All your characters are so awkward around the people they fancy. I guess that makes sense since they are teens, but I just want to tell them to just TALK to each other.

I wonder who they "they" at the end are. Creepy!

Author's Response:
Hi there!

You're still reading!! That makes me so happy!

From the beginning, I wanted this story to be about vampires, but then all the teen stuff got in the way, and then Dillon made me re-think the whole 'what if' angle. I won't be surprised when all of this is done, if Smeed demands his own spin-off. I've grown rather attached to him.

I knew what I wanted from McGonagall in that scene, and I'm glad that it worked for you. Sometimes, the experience is lesson enough. I figure she'd be wise enough to catch on to that after too many years around kids. I completely agree with you regarding children taking things into their own hands. Don't they know that magic doesn't make them invincible?? Sigh.

Ahh, Basil! I'm glad you liked him. He's just a stand-in to get in Albus' way, but it was fun to think up what he'd be like.

And yeah, the awkward. I guess I've read too many stories where everyone knows just what to do and just what to say, and then everyone's so HAPPY all of a sudden. Does that even happen?? I have no idea. I went to a very large school, so I'd like to think that I have a good cross-section of personalities to draw from. Maybe I just hung around incredibly awkward, socially-inept people at that age. Or maybe I'm just horrible at writing romance. Or both. Who knows?

Creepy! I hope so. Or all my vampire stuff would be wasted.

Thanks for another lovely review, and for coming back to my story!

 Report Review

Review #14, by Veritaserum27 Have a Heart

20th September 2014:

I'm tagging you from review tag!

I've seen this story so many times and I've meant to give it a look, but just never got the chance. That's why I love review tag so much.

Oops - sorry for the rambling - on to your awesome story!

This first chapter is everything a first chapter should be! You've set the tone of the story, introduced the characters and given the reader a reason to keep reading. I love mysteries - and I can't wait to see what happens next.

My heart is aching for Wren. She seems like such a kind and compassionate character. She doesn't deserve this fate, but she is accepting it as best she can for now. I love her name and the fact that she is passionate about animals. I see a lot of Neville in her - where he found his joy was in studying plants, Wren feels the same way about caring for animals. It seems that she has some very dedicated and loving friends in the Potter-Weasley cousins and that's good, because she's going to need them!

Hmmm - this flash of light is very curious, very curious indeed... I'm wondering if Augusta knows something about it and that is why she is demanding that her family leave the house. I won't ever, ever discount Augusta Longbottom - that woman is tough!!

I also detected a hint (tiny, tiny) of feelings between Wren and Albus. That proves to be interesting to see where it goes. By the way, I love the super-short Albus and very tall James characters.

Your writing is beautiful. I love how you show us the story instead of just telling it. The way Wren describes her house, the grounds and her childhood memories is just heartbreaking. I felt so emotional while reading this.

Great job!

Beth (Veritaserum27)

Author's Response:

Hey, I'm glad you took a chance to see what it was all about. Rabbits are all the rage in some parts of the world. Haha!

Aww, thanks! I tried to cover all my bases with this first chapter. There is a lot of Neville in Wren, and I always imagined that if Neville had children, they would at least be on a first name basis with the Potter-Weasley children.

Augusta is still pretty tough, but she's also a lot older now. And yeah, I liked how Albus turned out, with some room to grow. Lol!

Thanks so much for reading my first chapter! I hope I can entice you to come back for a little more some day.


 Report Review

Review #15, by BellatrixLover3 Hearty Heart Heart

16th September 2014:
I can't believe Rose slapped Scorpious! I think those two would make a good couple (when she's not attacking him!) I can't wait to find out what happened to Bunny! Thanks for checking out my story, and I will continue to post chapters.

Author's Response:

I know, that was bad of Rose! You really think so? I'm not so sure...

Thanks for coming by to read!

 Report Review

Review #16, by Infinityx Heart Tracks

13th September 2014:

So, hi. This is where I stopped and I see I have three more chapters to go. I can't believe I didn't notice. Anyway, here now. And onto the review. :D

I love how the first part is from James' perspective because it totally worked and I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING. Okay, slowing down. I love how you've portrayed James in this. He's not just this annoying mischief maker like how he seems through Albus' thoughts. He's actually using this time to complete his essays and I totally agree that it's not cheating if all the quills are doing are putting his thoughts down. I wish I had a few of those.

Hmm, why are the two potions different in taste and consistency though? They do pretty much the same thing so shouldn't they also taste the same? Unless it's because the two quills are targeting two separate aspects of his thoughts. Yeah, that makes sense. :P

Hahaha, Lori is so cool. I don't remember if there was an indicator of Albus recruiting her to get the map for him but that was pure GENIUS. And she totally pulled it off perfectly. I can imagine the look on James' face right now and I cannot stop laughing. :'D And then the "Albus!" part. Weirdly, his voice sounded to me like Kevin's mother in Home Alone when she shouts "Kevin!" :P if you haven't watched the movie, I suggest you do. But I'm sure you have because who hasn't, and can't you hear it? :D

Totally going off track here. Anywayy...

Wow. When Dillon ends up at a place where they cook rabbits, that was just creepy the way the rabbits swarmed over Harold. Those are definitely vampire rabbits. How did you even come up with that? :o But I'm not sure if Dillon is a vampire as well. He obviously has some sort of connection to them and is on some mission but I still can't figure out what. Maybe it's world domination or something? (Yeah, totally non-creative)

Maude's reaction was...weird. It's as though the rabbits affect her in some different manner. And the final scene when she falls to her knees...I don't understand what she means. WHAT IS GOING ON, PIX? PLEASE JUST TELL ME AND SPARE THE CURIOSITY. :(

Correct me if I'm mistaken, but I think this is the first time Wren hasn't appeared in a chapter. It kind of slows the pace down, which is good, because now there's a lot more emphasis on what Dillon is up to. And there has to be more significance to the antics between James and Albus because...well, when has anything in this plot NOT been significant?

Wow, this was just amazing and I couldn't spot any mistakes and I'm totally going to read on! I'll be back to review some more once I'm done with the pending ones! LOVE THIS STORY AND I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVEN'T FAVOURITED IT ALREADY. Doing so now. Love it. Thank you for bringing me back to this.


Author's Response:

So hi again!

Ah, yes, James! I'm very relieved that you were surprised by that little twist, because if you had seen it coming, then James would probably have caught on as well, and then things wouldn't have gone so well for Albus. Haha! That was so much fun to write. And yeah, I can see James sounding just like that. :)

James isn't a bad guy, but you know how the people closest to you can sometimes fixate on things and then get a skewed perspective? I think that's what's going on between the two brothers. It was fun to imagine that James' uncle would share some of his tricks of the trade with the boy. And of course, James would be totally okay with using them.

The whole swarming rabbit thing... I don't know where that came from. I think I watch too many scary shows or something. There's more to come about Dillon. I hope I'm not making it too frustrating for you. He's a sneaky little thing.

Ah, well... maybe Maude's section wasn't as clear as I had wanted it to be. I shall go back and see if I can clean that up a bit.

You're probably right. Without going back to check, I do believe this is the first full chapter without Wren. Albus and James do have a few more scenes later on, I don't know if I'd call it significant, but it's important to Albus, so there's that.

I'm so glad you returned to see my crazy rabbits in action! Thanks for the favorite and the lovely review, and I'm always happy to read your take on these chapters!


 Report Review

Review #17, by BellatrixLover3 Hearts of Curiosity

9th September 2014:
Love the chapter as always! Read some of your other stories. I have three chapters up for Dark Heart and one is waiting for validation.

Author's Response: Hey,

Thanks for reading and leaving me a note.

Happy writing!

 Report Review

Review #18, by MargaretLane Hearts of Curiosity

24th August 2014:
I should probably be writing myself, but since I'm not entirely sure where I'm going at the moment, I'm going to read this instead.

*laughs at Neville's reluctance to deal with rule breaking at 5am* I can't say I blame him, especially since breaking curfew is a pretty minor issue really.

And I'm also amused at how he doesn't blame James's head of house for needing a break.

It must be hard for Neville to deal with situations relating to his own daughter. Obviously, he has to treat her the same way he would any other student, even though he's likely to have a better understanding of what might be affecting her behaviour.

And that would be awkward even if she wasn't his daughter: knowing a particular student is unlikely to lie about something like this but that the alternative is a member of staff lying and in a situation where they'd have absolutely no motivation for doing so (as far as he knows). The fact she's his daughter makes it much worse, of course, as he's going to have even more reason to know she can be believed than a normal student, though I'd imagine that in a boarding school, the staff would know their students pretty well by the time they reached sixth year.

Hmm, Ian appears to be affected by the rabbits, which means it's unlikely it's just people the opposite gender to Dillon, which throws me back on my other theory about it being people who have some form of unhappiness or "need" the rabbits for some reason. I like that idea. as it ties the two plots together - the one about the rabbits and the one about Wren's unhappiness over what happened to her grandparents and so on.

Oh dear, even though Neville is inclined to take Wren seriously, she still feels he doesn't believe her.

Rose is being rather selfish and childish here - getting annoyed because Wren talked to somebody else.

Yikes, this last part sounds pretty serious.

And the part about having the decency to cover their tracks amused me. As if it would be fine to leave people to die so long as you covered your tracks.

I'm assuming a rabbit bit them.

Author's Response: Hi!

Sometimes our muse requests a break. I tend to listen to mine now, which is why I'm slowing down.

Neville has a quandary. He knows his daughter, and he has professional obligations too. I wanted him to be sympathetic and protective, but still have doubts about the best way to handle things.

I'm glad that the plots are starting to tie together for you. Wren, rabbits, Dillon... it's not as tight as an Oreo cookie, but I hope the connection comes out clear eventually.

Yeah, Rose. I don't know what to do with her sometimes.

Ah, yes. It's proper and decent to cover your tracks. Anyone who doesn't is just a barbarian. The shame! I don't want these guys as my next door neighbors, that's for sure!

Thanks for another lovely review! It's always great to see your thoughts about this story.

Until next time!

 Report Review

Review #19, by BellatrixLover3 Whispering Hearts

12th August 2014:
I love it! PLEASE make more chapters! If you'd like please view my story Dark Heart.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading! I'm glad you liked it. Good luck with your story, Dark Heart. It looks interesting. Let me know when you have the second chapter up.

 Report Review

Review #20, by UnluckyStar57 Heart To Handle

18th June 2014:
After too many weeks of not reading this story, I'm back! :D

Wow, this mysterious rabbit boy just keeps on getting more mysterious. When will it ever end?! Dillon doesn't seem like an evil person, necessarily, but then again, there is the indisputable fact that the rabbits ARE evil... Actually, there's something kind of sinister about Dillon, besides his eerie rabbit mind control trick, of course. He creeps me out, just like his rabbits do.

Is Dillon stealing Wren's magical powers? I think that Dillon does have some kind of magic within him--maybe inherited from his mother--but no Hogwarts letter=he's not a wizard. But he was controlling the rabbits before he met Wren (I assume), so he had to have some sort of connection with them. This is the first time that I've really seen him directly influencing other people to do his bidding through a fluffy bunny, but perhaps he's done it to Wren before now. Perhaps all those times that she gets headaches and has to go spend time with Bunny, Dillon is tapping into her powers and stealing them. Somehow. I don't know. Grr.

And the first day of school only further proves that Wren is losing her magic. I love the variety of classes that you've got in this story--much different from the usual ones. The curriculum seems to have undergone a facelift! However, Wren's skill and ability with magic can't keep up with the demanding coursework. She can do Wingardium Leviosa, but how long will it be until she can't even do that?!

Magical History has changed, and for the better! I would take that class if I went to Hogwarts, but I wouldn't really be fond of the group essay thing, per se. xP But it's a creative twist on the boring old "Professor Binns Lecture Hour" idea. By the way, what did they do with Professor Binns? Does he still haunt the room, or did they have to exorcise him? Why was there an ectoplasmic handprint on the wall?

Nate seems like a nice kid. I'm not quite sure what relevance he's going to have in the story yet, but I think he's going to play some role--perhaps in the discovering of the evil rabbits' powers? Why did he move to Hogwarts? Was he home-schooled before? Does he have any connection to Dillon whatsoever?

Wow, Wren is really angry about people thinking that she's like her father. I wonder if her reaction was worse because she couldn't be with her rabbit and she was having trouble with her magic... And how does Nate even know that she's Neville's daughter, anyways?!

In contrast, Rose is proud to be "just like Mommy." I bet she's going to get annoying later. :) Also, I like the establishment of Scorose in this chapter. It's not too loud, but talks about it just enough to set the ship up for later chapters. :D

You've written a lot of chapters since I last reviewed! I can't wait to read them! :D

As always, this was very well-written and sufficiently creepy! I expect my rabbit nightmares to return quite soon! :)


Author's Response: Hey you!

So sorry for the response delay. But I'm getting around to everything that I'm behind on. Summer has been a lot busier than I'd expected.

Ahh, if Dillon is creeping you out, then I'm doing something right. I hope I haven't turned you off of ALL rabbits, because that would be a shame... actually, their beady little eyes make me think they're up to something that we don't know about... hmmm...

Dillon's "powers" are yet to be revealed. He doesn't understand them himself at this point either. He just knows what he can do, and he's discovering what he's capable of as we go along.

I don't really know what happened to Professor Binns. I suppose he's somewhere, floating in the ether. I always imagined that he'd eventually fade away. Old spirits sometimes do that, I'd guess.

I like Nate too. He is a really nice kid, all things considering. So many questions! We'll get to that later, I promise. Everyone knows that Wren is Neville's daughter. That's part of what got her upset. It gets old after a while, and Wren has very little patience right now. She is overreacting a bit, though.

Rose annoys me already. I think that's why she's in the story: to annoy the author. But that's okay. I've got plans to get back at her. She's not going to like it either. Poor girl!

I'm so glad you're still reading! Welcome back! And I'm sorry about the nightmares. Maybe some hot chocolate will help, right before bed?


 Report Review

Review #21, by Lostmyheart Have a Heart

14th June 2014:

Ugh, I am SO sorry for the long wait. I had to prepare for exams and all, so time flew by. But I'm here now, so I hope it's okay you waited for so long :)

First of all, it was an excellent chapter - it was very nice and slow, and I liked how you portrayed each character. Wren, of course being the main character, seemed very well-build. Not physically, but you know what I mean.
I like that Rose, Albus and James come and help with the boxes, and that Wren seemed kind of in her own world. It did take a long time while reading this to adjust to the fact that Wren is a girl. I'm not english, and where I come from Wren is not a name we use - like ever. And the only time I've heard of it was in a tv-show where the character who had it, was a male. Hehe :)
The flow of the chapter was very easy, and I liked how you build it up. And the beginning was so interesting, where she wondered what that light in the woods were. It makes me think that the whole story is going to be build around that, and that she'll eventually find out what it is. And since it's light, I don't think it's something dark. But your story is under the category 'Dark', so there's probably something else to it :)

I enjoyed reading your story, and I hope this review answered some of your questions :)
Feel free to re-request.

- Lostmyheart

Author's Response: Hi!

No problem on the wait. If it's any consolation, I haven't responded to my reviews all summer because of that pesky thing called RL interfering. Bleah.

Anyway, I chuckled at Wren being "well-built", that's funny. She definitely doesn't have a lot of bulky muscle mass, physically, that is.

I have never met a male with the name Wren. The only times I've seen it, it was female, but I can see how the name can be used either way. It's like that with a lot of nature names, I suppose.

Thanks for the review. I'm glad you liked it so far, and I will definitely re-request!


 Report Review

Review #22, by MargaretLane Whispering Hearts

13th June 2014:
Yi-i-ikes, this looks like one long chapter.

Apologies for not having made any mention of the judging of my challenge yet. I've been super-busy lately and haven't even read all the entries. But I haven't forgotten about it and the results WILL be posted, probably in just under two weeks. If they aren't up in two weeks, there'll be another wait, because things get crazy busy again then.

This might be just because I'm not English, but the word "chav" doesn't really sound to me like something a pureblood would use. You know, it seems rather culture-specific slang. I don't know. I just feel the wizarding world has its own insults.

I sort of think Wren has a point with her idea of self-governing non-wizard societies. Although since wizards, vampires, house-elves, goblins, etc, all share the same society more or less, it strikes me that simply giving them all representation in the Ministry might be the best idea. But wizards haven't really shown themselves too adept at sharing power. Obviously, being from a country that was colonised, I'm going to find myself in agreement with criticisms of the imposition of rules from another culture that may not fit those they are imposed on.

And *rolls eyes at the idea "this would never work because wizards and witches don't think it would"* Isn't one of the defining features of the wizarding world their lack of understanding and disinterest in learning about, other cultures.

You use the characters' names rather a lot. There are a couple of times where writing "he" or "she" would sound more natural, especially since Albus and Wren's conversation involves only one boy and one girl, so there'd be no confusion.

I'm not really sure why Albus thinks it's weird Dillon told Wren his name. Or does he just think Dillon was weird? It's a bit unclear.

Oooh, this is getting creepy. I'm not sure exactly what it is Dillon wants, but it certainly doesn't sound good.

And this is kind of getting more like the rabbit in Fangirl. *laughs*

Hmm, I really wonder if this stuff about how when Bunny is with her, she doesn't feel helps explain how the rabbits are affecting her more than Albus. She clearly wants that oblivion to some degree and I wonder if, in some way, they can feed off that.

Although I can't exactly ignore the fact that the people most affected seem to be female either. Although, now seeing Ian, maybe that's not true. Hmm.

I wonder if this Ian guy is naturally nasty or if it's the rabbits or Dillon controlling him. Hmm, this gets more and more mysterious.

Author's Response:


You've got quite a few stories to read for the challenge. I hope you don't get slammed with *stuff to do* too quickly, so you'll have the time to go through them all! But hey, at least you're pretty much caught up with my story. :)

There's this *thing* with Scorpius and his constant use of non-wizarding colloquialisms. We'll get to that a bit later. LOL!

Wren does have a point. I agree with you on the idea that wizards haven't learned how to share the world. They may be perceived to be at the top of the food chain, but that doesn't mean they should disregard what other races have established. You'll have to sit down with Albus on that one and explain it to him.

I noticed the character name thing this morning. I plan to look into that after I've gotten a little distance from this chapter. It is rather long, and I felt my eyes glazing over several times during the editing process. That said, I couldn't find a place to cut or shorten it either. Sigh.

Haha! I think Albus is just talking to talk at this point, but the main idea is that he's commenting on the general weirdness of things.

Ah, yes. The Fangirl rabbit. Imagine my reaction when I read that book. Then again, if I could do a search for "rabbits, horror stories", I wonder what's out there?

Ian's naturally a jerk. The rabbits and Dillon are just icing on the cake. LOL!

Thanks for the lovely review! I'm so happy you're coming back to the story!

 Report Review

Review #23, by CambAngst Whispering Hearts

13th June 2014:
Hi, pix! Back again to see how the Next Gen kids and devil bunnies are playing together. Not so well, it seems.

It starts off on a fun note. "You can burn those," Rose said, motioning her foot to the image of her tripping over herself and shoving people out of the way. "I scuffed up my new trainers for nothing." Poor Rose! She isn't doing a very good job of convincing anyone -- even herself -- that she isn't interested in Scorpius, is she? Wren stared at the last picture in her hand, where Albus' eyes shone brightly back at her. She smiled to herself, remembering those eyes from a particularly vivid dream a few nights ago. And Rose isn't the only one who's having some unrequited (or maybe just unacknowledged) boy issues. You're still doing an awesome job of keeping these kids age-appropriate!

Poor Wren is starting to have more and more issues with Dillon's mental tendrils, it seems. At least she seems to be finding ways to fight off his control. The tea was a good start, but getting him out of her head seems to be becoming more willful and less of a passive thing. Good on you, Wren!

I have the strangest feeling that Rose and Callie's adventure outside of the castle is going to end poorly. Caught? Enthralled? Providing Dillon with the means to sneak into the castle? I just don't see any good coming of this outing. Given what Albus already thinks of James, if Dillon manages to enthrall James it's going to take Wren and Albus that much longer to figure out what's really happening. Sigh.

Now this is interesting. Is Bunny somehow shifting allegiances here? Perhaps becoming more Wren's friend than Dillon's friend? That would seem to be a significant development. She and Albus definitely need allies in their as-yet-unrealized war against the demon bunnies and their creepy little boy overlord.

Wow! So even though the demon bunnies are messing with Wren's magic, it doesn't seem like the effect is entirely one-sided. You are working so many neat plot threads into this story! I love it!

For one, small moment, Wren allowed herself to believe that the butterflies in her stomach were a good thing. -- Yes, they are! Wren needs more small moments like this.

It didn't actually matter how long or short her hair was, but this way, it made her look more... she blew her hair out of her face again... yeah, like that. -- Ha! You are pulling out all the stops in this chapter with the subtle signs of infatuation. Also, I really have to stop with the pull quotes or I'm going to run out of characters before I get to the end of this chapter.

Albus is dissing the trampy girl in favor of Wren! Good on you, Albus!

I liked the little side track into the politics of vampires in magical society. I feel fairly confident that you're setting something up for later on, although I can only guess at what. Maybe Wren does become Dillon's friend again at some point. Maybe Albus, with his less "enlightened" view on vampires, won't be pleased by this. Speculation...

I loved the "moment" that Wren and Albus have in the middle of the chapter. His hand on her arm, her inner battle over whether to tell him all about Bunny... poignant stuff!

Get out of my head, Wren demanded silently, and pushed back, hard. Her mind jolted free, and she had to blink a few times to reorient herself to where she was. -- Ooh, rudimentary Occlumency? Achievement unlocked...

"Oh Godric, you're going to cry. Okay, okay," Albus said softly, almost sounding like he was saying it more for himself than her. He took her hands in his and waited. -- Ha! The perfect teenage boy reaction! I mean, it would have showed a little more game if he'd managed to not say it out loud, but still.

Then the pace of the chapter picks up dramatically. It seems like Albus's rabbit has grown into some sort of monster in the restricted section. Maybe eating dark magic books isn't so good for a rabbit? The thing was definitely scary. And poor Wren has a 3-party call going on inside of her head. This section reinforced the idea that Wren's Bunny might not be completely in the same camp with Dillon and Albus's monster rabbit. I'm so incredibly impressed with the way you've set up Albus from the very beginning of this story. His paranoia about being pranked by James led him to take so many precautions that he feels perfectly natural being immune from the effects of the vampire thralls.

Wrapping up with Ian Sloan, I'm glad that you already conditioned us not to like him. Here, he's part vampire-enthralled zombie and part obnoxious jerk. Can't say I'm wild about either one. I just hope Albus and Wren get to Neville before he does, but knowing you, I doubt that's gonna happen. :p

Awesome chapter! It was a pleasure to beta read and a pleasure to read for real!

Author's Response: Ah! Just when I thought I was catching up... but I'm not complaining. This is amazing. All those shiny words!

I think we'd have to be very worried if the devil bunnies start playing nice with the Next Gen kids. Though now that you bring it up, I could do a dark version, where the Next Gen kids are completely overwhelmed by devil bunnies and become their...

Maybe another time.

Rose is definitely not doing great in the denial department right now. Just for you, (actually, mostly for me) there's more on that coming up soon. As for Wren, she's made a bit of progress, but her situation is a bit more complicated than simply admitting to a crush. Oh, the interfering plot!

Speaking of plot, Wren is making some headway with regaining control inside her mind. So there's that. I just hope that I've presented it in a way that I won't confuse anyone. I suppose time will tell.

There is some significant development with Bunny here. I hadn't shown much of what Bunny thinks through all of this, and I wasn't going so far as to write a scene from Bunny's POV (though I had a few of those that got trashed from the first draft. They were too weird and even I couldn't follow what was going on... silly rabbits!) but I felt like I needed to at least show that the affection between Wren and Bunny wasn't... erm... all in her head?

If Wren could get a mental break, I'm sure she would be having all kinds of thoughts that she needs right now. We'll see how that goes for her moving forward. Wren's new discovery about her abilities should help.

Albus' bracelets come in handy with trampy whats-her-name, don't they? I resisted inserting more of the sidebar about the girls following Albus around in this story. It's there, but it's so out of his focus at the moment that he's just ignoring it until he can't. I laughed out loud about Albus' lack of "game". Still laughing, actually. If he had any, he might have asked her out a year ago, and it wouldn't even be an issue now. I suppose everybody's got a learning curve. That moment was a nice interlude, so I'm glad you liked that.

You've got some interesting speculations about the vampire/wizard situation and how it impacts the story. Let's pretend that I planned all of that out and it will be fabulous. :) Seriously, I do have subtle plans, but Smeed threw a wrench in one of my subplots that I'm trying to pry apart. Again. He and I need a serious sit-down regarding the outcome. I swear I had the entire plot finished a few months ago. That's what I get for over-developing my characters. Bleah!

LOL! Three-party call, indeed! You may be impressed with the way I set up Albus, but let me tell you that he is highly displeased with his situation. I'm glad it feels natural. I didn't want him to come off as some great evil rabbit know-it-all all of a sudden.

Obnoxious jerks make the best zombies, I think. Maybe that could be a literary rule or trope of some kind: make all the zombies obnoxious.

Thanks again for the use of your eyes and this fabulous review!

Wait, wait. Does that mean you only "fake" read it before??

 Report Review

Review #24, by coolsilver Whispering Hearts

11th June 2014:
So glad you have a new chapter up-I stayed up just to read it, and you delivered!

I'm glad Wren is finally starting to wise up about Bunny and everything else that's been going on, although the poor girl is still having a tough time dealing with the events of the summer and her family's decisions to pull the plug on her grandparents.

It seems realistic in one aspect for her to still be wrestling with this-it's death after all, and how often has she dealt with it in her family? However, in another view-shouldn't she be trying to understand why her family did it, instead of continuing to be angry with her mother? She seems to be a logical - if not rather dim at times - girl who should be able to accept and move past this sooner than it has taken her thus far.

Hopefully, they'll take this directly to Professor Longbottom immediately (I'd say forget curfew, this is important - stereotypical rebellious HP style) and I have to wonder just how much more Wren is going to be put through. Poor girl is already dealing with enough!

I'm looking forward to seeing our mysterious bartender again soon-I wonder what happened to his poor victim...

Please keep writing-I love how you portray Wren, and flesh out your characters. You drop clever little hints, foreshadowing the horrors to come, leaving us hanging on to your every written word and eagerly awaiting the next update! Love it!

Author's Response: YES!! FINALLY!!

Wow! You stayed up for my chapter?? That's awesome. I'm glad you weren't disappointed, because if you're going to lose sleep, it should be for something worthwhile, right?

Wren is still having a tough time reconciling all the things that have happened to her and her family. She will eventually get to the point where she accepts and understands, but in story time, she's only known about the truth for about a week. She's still processing. And when you've got a rabbit in your head, it might take a little longer. :P

I agree. Wren and Albus should go directly to Professor Longbottom and get this sorted out.

I miss Smeed as well. He needs to come back into the story, just so he can learn how to use EBay and get rich. Then he can lure more victims to his plush London flat... ah, I'm getting ahead of myself here. Smeed might need his own spin-off after this.

Thank you so much for the lovely compliments! I'm very pleased that you are enjoying my crazy story with blood-sucking rabbits and silly teenagers! The next chapter shouldn't have too much of a delay. I think I've worked out the major kinks and can feel things moving forward again.

So very happy!!


 Report Review

Review #25, by GingeredTea Hearts and Spades

19th May 2014:
You have a way of making completely innocent things sound so very creepy. These bunnies are creeping me out.

I loved how you managed the interaction with Albus - I just felt that flowed fabulously! Scorpius and Albus are hilarious together. You did a good job expressing Albus' distraction about Wren. The photograph was an interesting tidbit that has me curious.

Mostly, I'm wondering if this rabbit (or the boy behind it rather) is intentionally keeping Wren from loving someone else. Furthermore, I'm assuming Albus' rabbit is in such a bad state (and Albus is in such a good state), because he disabled the boys charms on the rabbit?

:) It feels good to be back!

Author's Response: Welcome back!!

Innocent things sounding creepy... I like that description! Maybe it can be my trademark or something one day. :P

I believe that Albus and Scorpius together in this fic are my favorite characters. They're so easy around each other, and extremely fun to write. Albus is indeed distracted by Wren, the poor guy.

That is a good question about the rabbit and its connection with Wren's ability to feel. I had a version of this story in my head at one time that made that the main conflict, but it ended up being too difficult to pull off.

Anyway, I'm glad you're still reading and you've come back for another chapter!

Thanks for the lovely review!


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>