Reading Reviews for Rabbit Heart
  
146 Reviews Found

Review #1, by marauderfan Hearts and Minds

16th December 2014:
Review tag! Aah, it's been ages since I read this story and I can't tell you how excited I am to come back to it. :D

Ahaha, so James is finally able to do magic outside of school now. Exactly how I imagine he'd use that privilege! XD

Poor Albus, I do really feel for him. It would be so much easier for him to talk to Wren if only there wasn't something weird going on with her. WHAT IS THAT RABBIT DOING TO HER.

I love the tentative, awkward relationship between Albus and Wren though, how they're used to being friends and they both have these new feelings they don't know what to do with. It's cute, and feels realistic for that sort of situation. And I love that a hug from Albus makes Wren's day so much better :)

The friendship between Scorpius and Albus is so great too, especially how Scorpius keeps prodding Albus to ask Wren out. What else are best friends for, other than to tease you with the best intentions? :D I love his characterisation though, how he's a bit of a snob sometimes (unsurprising considering who he is) but still has a good heart and is friends with all these Weasleys and Potters and Longbottoms. I wonder how his dad feels about that :p

It was nice to see Wren engaging in some amount of normal behaviour at the end there but, like Albus, I am equally nervous about Wren's strange behaviour regarding the demon rabbit. I wish Wren wouldn't keep it such a secret. Then again, if she told someone, I doubt they'd really take it that seriously.

Superb chapter and I can't wait to find out what is up with the mystery rodent. :D

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Review #2, by Solo Heart To Handle

15th December 2014:
I'm definitely supposed to be asleep right now but I can't stop reading!

I think the main thing I love about this fic is the way you grasp the magical world and weave it throughout every single sentence. You make it come alive in a way I've only seen JK herself manage. You mention things that make me run for the wiki - like the mention of the Carpe Retractum charm in her memory. Brings up so many questions! So many people seem to gloss over the fact that Hogwarts is actually a school and instead focus on the social aspect but you manage to incorporate the school aspect so well.

Secondly, I love all your characterisation. Especially Wren's. Her desperation at losing her magic is clear - and all the failed attempts at charms, even the supposedly easier ones like Colovaria. Her losing her magic I'm guessing is related to the weird little were rabbits?! I was so relieved when she managed to perform a successful Wingardium Leviosa! Maybe there's hope for her yet!

Onwards and upwards!

Author's Response: Ahh, what a lovely surprise!

I love the magic in this world. Yes, it's a school, and I wanted to do school-like things with this story, definitely. Having a character that actually cares about classes is fun to write, and gives me an excuse to have all those classroom scenes. I'm so happy it comes alive for you!

Wren is very unhappy about this new development in her loss of her magic. It's why she's there, after all. There is hope, but of course the characters must struggle first.

Don't listen to those people who say that sleep is overrated. I hope you get a chance to come back sometime, when you are well-rested! Thanks so much for such a lovely review and letting me know that you're reading my story!


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Review #3, by BellatrixLover3 Guilty Hearts

14th December 2014:
I love it! I was staring Tomorrow is my birthday! think you abandoned this story! Thank you for keeping it! *cheers* I didn't give up on mine, but I've been waiting two weeks to get my chapter validated. Love it!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!

It was my birthday yesterday, so thanks for the present! I haven't abandoned this story. Some chapters take longer to get right than others, and I'm patient enough to work things through before I post.

Good luck with your future chapters!


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Review #4, by TidalDragon Cross My Heart

7th December 2014:
Howdy! Reviving the review thread was a great idea, so I'm here to pay it forward!

I think it's interesting how Wren's connection to the rabbit is growing more and more invasive despite the tea. I don't know if this has to do with the longevity of the connection between them or if it has to do with their little overlord's increasing proximity to Hogwarts, but it's unfortunate for her. I'm glad she was able to get some good shots though despite the trouble.

I think you're doing a good job with the Albus/Wren dynamic. You definitely leave the reader with that necessary "when will it HAPPEN" feeling, but at the same time you show delightfully how neither of them will get out of their own way so that what they both want can come to fruition. SO true of potential romance between friends.

If I ever get around to clearing out my thread AND the reviews I owe to my challenge participants you can be sure I'll be back to find out how things progress from here!

Author's Response:

Hello again!

It is very unfortunate for Wren that her relationship with Bunny keeps getting stronger. It's probably due to a combination of factors. I do know that I'll be much more careful with story mechanics in my next tale. This bit with the rabbits gave me fits. My muse is so demanding!

SO glad that the Wren/Albus dynamic is coming across clearly. They have some things to work through before they get to where they are going. I just hope it doesn't become too tiresome.

Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving me this lovely review!


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Review #5, by MargaretLane Guilty Hearts

6th December 2014:
Poor, poor Wren. She's now feeling guilty for what the rabbit's done. As if she hadn't enough to deal with. Poor girl.

Yikes, things are serious if McGonagall is showing concern. She'd not the type to do so under normal circumstances. This is beginning to look even scarier than I'd though.

I've a feeling there's something extra-mysterious about Dillon too. Everybody seems to think a little boy couldn't possibly be a vampire, which indicates there's something unusual about his being one. I did feel some sympathy for him when we saw him. He seem lonely more than anything else.

And now she's feeling guilty about hiding it. I think it'd be hard for people to figure it out anyway, because the situation is so odd - her being a thrall of a thrall, rather than the direct thrall of a vampire. And the fact that it's a bunny that's been biting her rather than an actual vampire. Now, admittedly if she hadn't been so out of it, it might have been figured out sooner, but then that was all part of what had happened to her. DEFINITELY not her fault.

*laughs at Trudy hating rabbits* I'm not a big fan of them myself. I think they are ugly little creatures.

*laughs at James telling the younger students off for bringing in illegal items and then taking them himself* It's a bit like Ron and is completely the sort of thing I'd imagine him doing.

LOVE the description of Hogsmeade as "the quaint village of crooked chimneys." It sounds sort of nursery rhyme or something.

Hmm, I wonder what the relevance of this guy being a vampire is and whether he is on Smeed's side or Dillon's. He could be the other guy Smeed was talking to, I guess.

I don't have a problem with the formatting here. I'd prefer your usual, but this is fine too.

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Review #6, by MargaretLane Hearts in the Flesh

6th December 2014:
Sorry for the delay getting around to reading this. I was really busy in November, between Nano, work and I'd an essay due in for this course I'm taking. And then when I finally got some free time towards the end of the month, a load of stories I'm following were updated and this sort of got lost in the list.

Rose is SO like Hermione here, trying to keep everybody on topic and helping everybody else with stuff, but having nobody to help her when she's stuck. Poor Rose.

Hmm, how old is Hugo here? He sounds kind of young, but as this is five years after the events of the epilogue and he must have been at least 5ish then and probably close to Lily's age, since they seemed to be friends, I assume he must be over 10 by now.

Augusta knows what Smeed is? This is getting more and more interesting.

And it's great to see her getting back to herself, after everything she's been through.

There are a few sentences in this chapter which might benefit from greater use of contractions, like writing "stay away from all rabbits until we're sure," instead of "until we are sure." Of course, if you are deliberately establishing a more formal pattern of speech for vampires, that one wouldn't count, but I think I've seen a few examples that weren't in Smeed's dialogue too. Like "it was rumoured that she had died..." I'd be inclined to have written, "it was rumoured she'd died," leaving out the "that" and contracting "she had." Or Augusta saying "I have been resting for months." "I've been resting for months" would sound more natural.

And hmm, Wren is likely to feel further sickness.

Actually, I'm not CERTAIN about this, but would the English be more likely to say "illness"?

I can see why "you won't die" would worry her. It makes it sound like it's a real possibility.

I wonder where Gran is going and why. I hope she's really all right.

It almost brought tears to my eyes when she spoke about the struggle it had been to raise her son and then Neville and how she felt after Frank and Alice died. Poor Augusta.

Hmm, Augusta knows more than she's telling, it seems.

And yeah, her being in Leeds shouldn't make THAT much difference. After all, Wren is only living with her parents maybe three months of the year, anyway and with things like Floo Powder and Apparition, she can probably be with them at a moment's notice. I daresay she'd have her home connected to her son's via the Floo network.

But I understand why Wren feels bad. She's been through so many changes, moving house, her grandparents' deaths, the whole thing with Dillon and the bunny, that one more probably feels like more than she can handle.

Love the reference to the House Elves now having free will.

Oh gosh, I hope Rose is OK. I wasn't expecting it to end like that. I assumed she'd just turn out like the others who've been affected.

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Review #7, by BellatrixLover3 Hearts in the Flesh

4th November 2014:
OMG! Is Rose a vampire now? I loved the chapter! I updated a lot of my stories if you want to check them out!

Author's Response: Hey, thanks! I'm glad you liked it.

Poor Rose...


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Review #8, by MargaretLane Charmed Hearts

27th October 2014:
LOVE the way your portray the conflict in Wren's head - between her fondness for her rabbit, and ability to feel his unhappiness and her growing awareness that something here isn't quite right.

There are a couple of places in the chapter where you are missing chapter breaks. Not that it really matters, but thought I'd point it out to you.

This might be a personal preference, but I also feel you are using Albus and Wren's names rather a lot. As there is only one guy and one girl involved in the conversation, just saying "he" or "she" would make it clear who you're referring to.

Hmm, the question about whether the rabbit has got to Albus is an interesting one. I don't think he has really. I think the pull between them is just that of attraction. And I like her suspicion of it.

And I really like the comment about how she COULD do without Albus but didn't want to.

When Albus thinks that trying to come up with a reasonable excuse for his duel would be nearly impossible, you've put a small "t" at the start of "trying" even though it's the first word in the sentence.

I'm glad Wren's had a break from Bunny's influence. Hope it continues.

I still am wondering why some people are more affected by the rabbits than others. I've a feeling it's related to unhappiness. Or emotional turmoil or something like that. Most of the people affected seem to be people who have some kind of issues going on or people who aren't very happy.

Serena seems to have a bit of a one-track mind. It's like all she's interested in about the guys are how well they photograph.

I wonder what she's seen in the picture of Bunny. That is kinda creepy.

And poor Wren. Between the history of mental illness in her family (even if her grandparents was caused by a specific event and therefore unlikely to be hereditary), combined with her weird experiences with Bunny are enough to make anybody question their sanity.

Seems like Wren think Smeed is causing this when it seems like he's trying to prevent, even if it is only to prevent retaliation against vampires in general.

And yay, Gran seems to be getting better. I hope she's recovered.

Author's Response:

Oh hey!

Head conflict can be tricky, so it pleases me to no end that you got that bit about Wren.

I went back and fixed up some of those line breaks. I've been using Google Docs lately, and I have been putting my chapters back into Word for final editing. That seems to mess up the formatting and I end up missing things. Hope it's better now.

I hope Wren gets a nice break too. She's been through an awful lot and it's got to be hard when you have this thing in your head giving you all kinds of bad ideas.

Serena. That's her. I don't know what else to say about that, so I won't.

Yay for Gran's emergence! Though the timing might be a little off. Yes, poor Wren. She hasn't gotten many breaks in the story. She might not have it all right in her head yet, but she is getting more of a clue. Hopefully these characters can pull it together soon.

Thanks for your lovely words! I do appreciate them!


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Review #9, by BellatrixLover3 Charmed Hearts

26th October 2014:
Whoa! Quick question, I know this sounds stupid, but what is a thrall? Maybe I skipped that part, or you didn't describe it but I have no clue what a thrall is. Please explain, because I really like this book and do not want to spend the rest of it confused.

Author's Response:

Well, a thrall is supposed to be someone who willingly allows a vampire to feed off of them, but in this story, it got a little twisted.

Thanks for continuing to read my story!


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Review #10, by 1917farmgirl Trusting Hearts

13th October 2014:
You know, for purportedly writing a story about teen angst and drama and mushiness and most likely spoons, you sure manage to put in an awful lot of intense, real, human emotions. I literally just had this conversation with WYHO about this fic:

Me - How the heck does Pix's supposedly silly story about blood-sucking rabbits and teen angst always make me cry?

WYHO - Cause she's brilliant like that?

Me - Amen.

And it's true! You went and made me cry again. There is just something so touching and personal about those sections with Gran. It just...GAH! You owe me lots and lots of tissues.

And then, you throw in a creepy little kid.

I know much about this Dillon...which I shall refrain from saying. But, I'm still so curious! Despite what I know, he seems so...normal...in a completely non-normal way. Is he evil? Or just alone? Who is this mother?

And the most important question? Why do you have to make little kids and sweet little bunnies evil?

Bunny - :(

Teen angst and vampires? - yeah right. This is really tragedy and real life and emotion and truth mixed up with crazy writing skills and great descriptions, all stirred by the spoon of AWESOMENESS...because you are.

Seriously, Pix, you are fooling no one here, with your claims of it "just being a teen drama story."

Author's Response:

Um... hi. How do I respond to that?

Okay, firstly in my defense, I am still allergic to angst, the drama has been comparatively low-key, and Albus has never gotten Wren over for toffee pudding yet, so the spoons are a bit absent at this point.

*hands tissues*

I don't know if it will make you feel any better, but Gran doesn't have a lot of scenes in the story as a whole, so maybe you could bear with the whole of it, and we'll sneak Gran out the back when it gets to be too much.

As for Dillon and the bunnies, you were absolutely forewarned about that.

Ahh, the human condition! It's something I don't think I come close to doing justice most of the time, and you are making me feel like I've got a bit of it right. You have flattered me to no end, which seems to be a talent of yours, so I can only thank you for your kind words and bask in this ridiculously flattering review.

Thank you!


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Review #11, by MargaretLane Somewhere in the Heart

11th October 2014:
That part about him lapping up blood is a bit creepy.

Hmm, I wonder how Dillon is continuing to access her mind and how this'll end.

Shouldn't "timetables" be one word? I was reading it as "times tables" and thinking, "but they don't learn Maths at Hogwarts."

Like the reference to the book club. Young witches and wizards really need more options for leisure. All there seems to be is Quidditch, wizard chess and gobstones. And the wireless, I guess. But they have no TVs, no computers, only one sport, only leave Hogwarts maybe once a month and then only to go shopping or to the pub - no concerts or discos or dances. They don't even seem to have all that much fiction, although that may be because Hermion, Ron and Harry don't really seem the types to be into fiction, Ron and Harry because they aren't that into reading and Hermione seems to prefer factual stuff.

Smeed and Burns intrigue me.

And Ah, they seem to have summed a little bit up about what's going on. The rabbits being enthralled explains a certain amount and I'm guessing Dillon had a magical parent.

Dillon is back. *grins* He rather interests me. I like him as a character. The fact that he's pretty much the villain and yet in some ways, he gains my sympathy, makes him very interesting.

Hmm, I wonder who he is expecting to come out and greet him. It sounds like it's Summers and Pince.

Oooh, the ending is creepy.

And I wonder why his mother told him not to enthrall people directly.

Author's Response:

Hi again!

Sorry for the delayed response, but you know the drill. Anyway, I'm still here and I love that you are continuing to let me know your thoughts on these chapters.

Well yes, the lapping of blood was supposed to be creepy. The story mechanics sort of ran away from me with this one. That'll teach me not to make them so complicated next time... I hope. :P

I should fix that word. Thanks for the catch!

I agree with you on the leisure activities. I bet you and I could brainstorm a whole list of things that these kids can do with their extracurricular time at Hogwarts. I love stories that expand on that. There are so many possibilities!

Smeed and Burns intrigue me too. LOL!

I often ask myself why it's easier for me to write the creepy, dark characters than anything else. Then I try to forget that I ever asked, because maybe I don't want to know the answer to that. Ah well. Maybe my next story will be all about creepy and dark and I can go explore that for a bit.

Thanks for another thoughtful review! I really am grateful that you keep reading, even after the challenge is over.


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Review #12, by BellatrixLover3 Somewhere in the Heart

10th October 2014:
Great chapter as always

Author's Response:
Hi!

Thanks for coming back and reading more!

Pix


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Review #13, by What's in a name Hearty Heart Heart

8th October 2014:
This fic is really good and I supremely enjoy it

Author's Response:
Thank you so much! For some strange reason, I supremely enjoy writing it!


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Review #14, by TidalDragon Heart Tracks

6th October 2014:
Howdy! It's been QUITE awhile! Sorry it took me so long to get to this, life's been a bit of a nightmare recently and it's only getting crazier. I keep telling myself I'm going to make it to Christmas, but sometimes I think I'm going to pass out for sure before that happens.

ANYWAY...this was a rather simple and straightforward chapter, making it a good one to ease back into the story. James continues on with his mischief, really living up to his namesake, but I'm incredibly intrigued to see just what Albus gets up to now that he (at least ostensibly) has the map. Is there a plot wrinkle in our future? It seems the map would be quite an asset to that little creeper Dillon.

Speaking of his creepiness, it just continues to grow right there along with his boldness. Having his little horde just attack people like that is really something else.

As far as the details of the writing go, I thought you had a nice balance between the descriptions, thoughts, and dialogue. You have a real talent for that, and for accomplishing it with a minimum of fuss but still getting your ideas across eloquently. The only thing that came across as a touch off to me was this bit: "...snuck into the Slytherin shower room to charm one of the stalls to only let his brother in..." To steal his towel, wouldn't he want to make sure he only goes into one particular stall, thus locking all but one against Albus rather than making it so one specifically opened for him? I don't know, it's very late and perhaps I'm confused, but this seemed a touch off.

Even though it's been awhile, I will say I miss Wren. I hope she's alright with that little monster living off her like a leech! Hopefully she'll be around next time?

Author's Response: Hi! Welcome back to crazy rabbits!

The map would be quite an asset, you're right. But I don't want to make things too easy for these characters. I guess you'll have to see how it plays out in the end.

Thanks! I try to have some balance, and I don't like hitting people over the head with spelling out things that they could reasonably figure out on their own. On the flip side, I do tend to lack a certain clarity from time to time. I'm constantly working on that. I'm glad you thought most things were in place. Yeah, that actiony bit kind of ran away from me. I'll put that on my list of things to clean up later. Thanks!

Aww, Wren misses you too. Don't worry. I think this was the only chapter that she doesn't appear in.

Thanks so much for the incredibly lovely review! I'm sure you'll make it to Christmas in one piece. Take some time to stop and breathe. That usually helps with the not-passing-out. :)

Pix


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Review #15, by UnluckyStar57 Hearts and Spades

4th October 2014:
Oh my gosh, it's been so long! Sorry for filling your request a whole month late, but now I'm back and more confused than ever! :D

Poor Albus. He's so into Wren, but she's so into Bunny. And there's that creepy rabbit that he's got... Will he succumb to the bunny mania?! I hope not. The way Wren talks to the bunny still disgusts me. It's super creepy and just plain weird. And I want to know what's going on, but I just can't figure it out!

Ooh, what is Scorpius plotting? Albus is obviously in on the scheme, but he's wayyy too caught up in Wren to be of much use. Did he steal the Marauders' Map from James? Is that what the parchment is? And what is this "stone" that Scorpius wants? The Resurrection Stone? It has really been way too long since I've read this story. That needs to change!

Serena is super strange for taking pictures of Scorpius's muscles. Like seriously, why?! She must have a fascination with the human body (which is excusable), or a fascination with Scorpius (which is less excusable). Is Scorpius just going after her to get under Rose's skin? Is Scorose even a viable ship in this story? (Well, not if he's snogging Serena, for sure!)

Oh, Wren. Such a weird little bird. Arrgghh, I don't even know how to handle her utter concentration and dependence on the bunny. It is just too creepy!

As for the plot and the too-many-characters thing, no! I think that you're using the perfect amount of characters--just enough to make it interesting, but not so many that I get (too) confused. The whole Wren/bunny thing is becoming a very heavy topic, and it keeps popping up, but that's the whole point of the story, I think. :)

Brilliant job! Hopefully I can read the next chapter before I forget what's going on. :D

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Why hello!!

I don't mind the lateness, as long as you get around to it eventually.

Oh, Albus and the rabbits... they don't get along as well as Wren and her rabbit. He's thinking the same thing as you though. What is up with Wren and that rabbit??

Scorpius is great fun to write in this story. I don't know why, but I tend to start babying my minor characters more than my main characters. He's fun, and he tries to keep Albus entertained. Oh, and Serena is, well, yeah. She's super strange alright. As far as Scorpius goes, let's just say that he goes about things in all the wrong ways.

I'm relieved that you think the cast of characters is okay. I've never had to juggle this many in a fic before, so it gets a bit overwhelming at times.

Thanks so much for coming back and reading again, and also for the super nice review!

Pix


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Review #16, by MargaretLane Tenderized Hearts

2nd October 2014:
Poor Wren. She seems very shaken by this whole thing.

And I like the way you mention it again later on. It draws attention to the fact she's still dealing with that panicyness, even while other things are happening, which is easy for the reader to forget.

OK, I'm not quite sure what that rabbit is all about. It's definitely REALLY creepy. And I wonder if Summers sent them there on purpose because of the rabbit being there.

*cheers for Wren managing to fight off Bunny's demands* I don't know whether it is the right or the wrong thing to do in this situation, but at least she doesn't seem to be completely in thrall anymore and that has to be good.

I'm wondering now if the bite will have some kind of effect on Albus or if it was just getting blood.

And it seems like some of the things Bunny is telling her are helpful. This is getting weirder and weirder. Poor Wren. She's having a REALLY rough time.

I'm not sure the fact she's defending Bunny is a good thing though.

LOVE the comment about Madame Pince reminding her of the monsters. It's so wonderfully creepy.

I'm glad Albus is OK and that Wren is thinking that maybe she shouldn't let Bunny close to her.

Author's Response:

I think anyone would be shaken by that, but that's just me. :) I'm trying to get Wren to start thinking (more) clearly now, but it's hard because she's still partially under the influence of Bunny. The difference is that she is aware of it, which helps.

It's all my fault. I set up all these convoluted, twisty story mechanics, and now I'm paying for it. It's incredibly difficult to keep things straight and show what needs to be shown without confusing the heck out of people. Sigh. Okay, next time, it will be a straight-up thing with no complications...

*looks at next WIP*

Uh oh.

Thanks for coming back for another chapter! I love your reviews!



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Review #17, by BellatrixLover3 Tenderized Hearts

1st October 2014:
I love it! I hope Albus is okay! I finished my story Dark Heart, and I am continuing it in a sequel, The Final Curse of Fate! Please update soon!

Author's Response: Hi again!

I hope Albus is okay too. He's too sweet to get sucked into things... ahh, maybe that was poor word choice there.

Thanks for reading and reviewing, and congrats on finishing your story!


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Review #18, by Gabriella Hunter Have a Heart

1st October 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long to get to you. I would have been here sooner but I was really busy and haven't had much time to do any reading or reviewing. It was a major pain.

Anyway, on to this! I haven't really read many stories that feature Neville's children as the main characters but I think that you really have something special here. Wren has a lot of good character traits already set up in this first chapter, I was able to get a good feel for her without having to struggle to follow along. I think that maybe I was able to understand her better with how she felt about moving away from her home. I think everyone's had a moment like that but there's some interesting mystery surrounding the reason.

I never thought of Neville's grandmother like thi before but I love that you've turned it around and made her so vulnerable. I do wonder what will happen to her though and it was really sad to hear about Neville's parents. I don't think there was anything to be done for them but I do hope that Augusta will eventually come out of her grief. There's something more going on there, I think but I'm sure you'll get to that soon...there's that creepy light that's really getting to me now.

Is it a spirit? I am really curious about it and I am just as determined to find out as Wren is--it kidnapped a bunny! I do not agree with that at all! >:(

So, I liked all of your side characters as well, Rose, Albus and James were very likeable. I liked that you didn't beat me over the head with their own family's history either and just let the story carry them through. I got enough of their personalities here to not need a lot of detail right now and their friendships with one another seem solid.

I don't have any CC's to offer either so I'm just going to wait for you to re-request this so I can figure out what happened to that bunny. Hahahaha.

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Gabbie!

Seriously, it is always nice to get a review, so who cares how long it takes for life to give you a moment. I'm just glad you made it.

It just makes sense to me that Neville would stay connected on some level with Harry and Ron and their families. I imagine that their kids would at least know of each other. Besides, it's too convenient to use the canon kids as friends of Wren. I'm glad you got a feel for them. They're fun.

One of the reasons I chose Wren was because I couldnt remember ever reading about any Longbottom Nextgen as main characters. The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea and the potential back ground a kid like that would have. So much room to play!

All I have to say about the creepy light is, if you are interested, then it did its job.

Thanks for coming around and leaving such a lovely review!

See you next time!


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Review #19, by MargaretLane Hearty Heart Heart

21st September 2014:
I'm FINALLY getting around to reading this.

Really like the way you develop the background of vampires. It fits really well with canon and the way wizards think they are superior to all other magical beings, while at the same time adding something new.

*cheers for McGonagall* While the incident isn't acceptable, especially the slapping - they are too old to deal with incidents by pushing and slapping like 10 year olds - it's pretty clear both parties realised immediately that they'd overstepped the mark and that further intervention really wasn't necessary.

And she has a good point about how students taking things into their own hands at Hogwarts hasn't always ended well, from Harry's first year, when it was HE who put the stone in danger (had the trio stayed out of the whole thing, Quirrell/Voldemort would have been left standing in front of the Mirror of Erised, unable to do anything) to his fifth when Sirius died, partly due to Harry's actions.

*laughs* Basil Fronsac's portrait plays a (small) part in my next gen too, but I have him portrayed very differently. Funny to see the different portrayals of characters who are really just names. LOVE your version, by the way.

All your characters are so awkward around the people they fancy. I guess that makes sense since they are teens, but I just want to tell them to just TALK to each other.

I wonder who they "they" at the end are. Creepy!

Author's Response:
Hi there!

You're still reading!! That makes me so happy!

From the beginning, I wanted this story to be about vampires, but then all the teen stuff got in the way, and then Dillon made me re-think the whole 'what if' angle. I won't be surprised when all of this is done, if Smeed demands his own spin-off. I've grown rather attached to him.

I knew what I wanted from McGonagall in that scene, and I'm glad that it worked for you. Sometimes, the experience is lesson enough. I figure she'd be wise enough to catch on to that after too many years around kids. I completely agree with you regarding children taking things into their own hands. Don't they know that magic doesn't make them invincible?? Sigh.

Ahh, Basil! I'm glad you liked him. He's just a stand-in to get in Albus' way, but it was fun to think up what he'd be like.

And yeah, the awkward. I guess I've read too many stories where everyone knows just what to do and just what to say, and then everyone's so HAPPY all of a sudden. Does that even happen?? I have no idea. I went to a very large school, so I'd like to think that I have a good cross-section of personalities to draw from. Maybe I just hung around incredibly awkward, socially-inept people at that age. Or maybe I'm just horrible at writing romance. Or both. Who knows?

Creepy! I hope so. Or all my vampire stuff would be wasted.

Thanks for another lovely review, and for coming back to my story!


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Review #20, by Veritaserum27 Have a Heart

20th September 2014:
Hi!

I'm tagging you from review tag!

I've seen this story so many times and I've meant to give it a look, but just never got the chance. That's why I love review tag so much.

Oops - sorry for the rambling - on to your awesome story!

This first chapter is everything a first chapter should be! You've set the tone of the story, introduced the characters and given the reader a reason to keep reading. I love mysteries - and I can't wait to see what happens next.

My heart is aching for Wren. She seems like such a kind and compassionate character. She doesn't deserve this fate, but she is accepting it as best she can for now. I love her name and the fact that she is passionate about animals. I see a lot of Neville in her - where he found his joy was in studying plants, Wren feels the same way about caring for animals. It seems that she has some very dedicated and loving friends in the Potter-Weasley cousins and that's good, because she's going to need them!

Hmmm - this flash of light is very curious, very curious indeed... I'm wondering if Augusta knows something about it and that is why she is demanding that her family leave the house. I won't ever, ever discount Augusta Longbottom - that woman is tough!!

I also detected a hint (tiny, tiny) of feelings between Wren and Albus. That proves to be interesting to see where it goes. By the way, I love the super-short Albus and very tall James characters.

Your writing is beautiful. I love how you show us the story instead of just telling it. The way Wren describes her house, the grounds and her childhood memories is just heartbreaking. I felt so emotional while reading this.

Great job!

Beth (Veritaserum27)

Author's Response:
Hi!

Hey, I'm glad you took a chance to see what it was all about. Rabbits are all the rage in some parts of the world. Haha!

Aww, thanks! I tried to cover all my bases with this first chapter. There is a lot of Neville in Wren, and I always imagined that if Neville had children, they would at least be on a first name basis with the Potter-Weasley children.

Augusta is still pretty tough, but she's also a lot older now. And yeah, I liked how Albus turned out, with some room to grow. Lol!

Thanks so much for reading my first chapter! I hope I can entice you to come back for a little more some day.

Pix


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Review #21, by BellatrixLover3 Hearty Heart Heart

16th September 2014:
I can't believe Rose slapped Scorpious! I think those two would make a good couple (when she's not attacking him!) I can't wait to find out what happened to Bunny! Thanks for checking out my story, and I will continue to post chapters.

Author's Response:

I know, that was bad of Rose! You really think so? I'm not so sure...

Thanks for coming by to read!


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Review #22, by Infinityx Heart Tracks

13th September 2014:
I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU'VE UPDATED, I'VE BEEN CONSISTENTLY CHECKING MY READING LIST. Okay, maybe there was a lapse for a while. A long while.

So, hi. This is where I stopped and I see I have three more chapters to go. I can't believe I didn't notice. Anyway, here now. And onto the review. :D

I love how the first part is from James' perspective because it totally worked and I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING. Okay, slowing down. I love how you've portrayed James in this. He's not just this annoying mischief maker like how he seems through Albus' thoughts. He's actually using this time to complete his essays and I totally agree that it's not cheating if all the quills are doing are putting his thoughts down. I wish I had a few of those.

Hmm, why are the two potions different in taste and consistency though? They do pretty much the same thing so shouldn't they also taste the same? Unless it's because the two quills are targeting two separate aspects of his thoughts. Yeah, that makes sense. :P

Hahaha, Lori is so cool. I don't remember if there was an indicator of Albus recruiting her to get the map for him but that was pure GENIUS. And she totally pulled it off perfectly. I can imagine the look on James' face right now and I cannot stop laughing. :'D And then the "Albus!" part. Weirdly, his voice sounded to me like Kevin's mother in Home Alone when she shouts "Kevin!" :P if you haven't watched the movie, I suggest you do. But I'm sure you have because who hasn't, and can't you hear it? :D

Totally going off track here. Anywayy...

Wow. When Dillon ends up at a place where they cook rabbits, that was just creepy the way the rabbits swarmed over Harold. Those are definitely vampire rabbits. How did you even come up with that? :o But I'm not sure if Dillon is a vampire as well. He obviously has some sort of connection to them and is on some mission but I still can't figure out what. Maybe it's world domination or something? (Yeah, totally non-creative)

Maude's reaction was...weird. It's as though the rabbits affect her in some different manner. And the final scene when she falls to her knees...I don't understand what she means. WHAT IS GOING ON, PIX? PLEASE JUST TELL ME AND SPARE THE CURIOSITY. :(

Correct me if I'm mistaken, but I think this is the first time Wren hasn't appeared in a chapter. It kind of slows the pace down, which is good, because now there's a lot more emphasis on what Dillon is up to. And there has to be more significance to the antics between James and Albus because...well, when has anything in this plot NOT been significant?

Wow, this was just amazing and I couldn't spot any mistakes and I'm totally going to read on! I'll be back to review some more once I'm done with the pending ones! LOVE THIS STORY AND I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVEN'T FAVOURITED IT ALREADY. Doing so now. Love it. Thank you for bringing me back to this.

~Erin

Author's Response:

So hi again!

Ah, yes, James! I'm very relieved that you were surprised by that little twist, because if you had seen it coming, then James would probably have caught on as well, and then things wouldn't have gone so well for Albus. Haha! That was so much fun to write. And yeah, I can see James sounding just like that. :)

James isn't a bad guy, but you know how the people closest to you can sometimes fixate on things and then get a skewed perspective? I think that's what's going on between the two brothers. It was fun to imagine that James' uncle would share some of his tricks of the trade with the boy. And of course, James would be totally okay with using them.

The whole swarming rabbit thing... I don't know where that came from. I think I watch too many scary shows or something. There's more to come about Dillon. I hope I'm not making it too frustrating for you. He's a sneaky little thing.

Ah, well... maybe Maude's section wasn't as clear as I had wanted it to be. I shall go back and see if I can clean that up a bit.

You're probably right. Without going back to check, I do believe this is the first full chapter without Wren. Albus and James do have a few more scenes later on, I don't know if I'd call it significant, but it's important to Albus, so there's that.

I'm so glad you returned to see my crazy rabbits in action! Thanks for the favorite and the lovely review, and I'm always happy to read your take on these chapters!

Pix


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Review #23, by BellatrixLover3 Hearts of Curiosity

9th September 2014:
Love the chapter as always! Read some of your other stories. I have three chapters up for Dark Heart and one is waiting for validation.

Author's Response: Hey,

Thanks for reading and leaving me a note.

Happy writing!


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Review #24, by MargaretLane Hearts of Curiosity

24th August 2014:
I should probably be writing myself, but since I'm not entirely sure where I'm going at the moment, I'm going to read this instead.

*laughs at Neville's reluctance to deal with rule breaking at 5am* I can't say I blame him, especially since breaking curfew is a pretty minor issue really.

And I'm also amused at how he doesn't blame James's head of house for needing a break.

It must be hard for Neville to deal with situations relating to his own daughter. Obviously, he has to treat her the same way he would any other student, even though he's likely to have a better understanding of what might be affecting her behaviour.

And that would be awkward even if she wasn't his daughter: knowing a particular student is unlikely to lie about something like this but that the alternative is a member of staff lying and in a situation where they'd have absolutely no motivation for doing so (as far as he knows). The fact she's his daughter makes it much worse, of course, as he's going to have even more reason to know she can be believed than a normal student, though I'd imagine that in a boarding school, the staff would know their students pretty well by the time they reached sixth year.

Hmm, Ian appears to be affected by the rabbits, which means it's unlikely it's just people the opposite gender to Dillon, which throws me back on my other theory about it being people who have some form of unhappiness or "need" the rabbits for some reason. I like that idea. as it ties the two plots together - the one about the rabbits and the one about Wren's unhappiness over what happened to her grandparents and so on.

Oh dear, even though Neville is inclined to take Wren seriously, she still feels he doesn't believe her.

Rose is being rather selfish and childish here - getting annoyed because Wren talked to somebody else.

Yikes, this last part sounds pretty serious.

And the part about having the decency to cover their tracks amused me. As if it would be fine to leave people to die so long as you covered your tracks.

I'm assuming a rabbit bit them.

Author's Response: Hi!

Sometimes our muse requests a break. I tend to listen to mine now, which is why I'm slowing down.

Neville has a quandary. He knows his daughter, and he has professional obligations too. I wanted him to be sympathetic and protective, but still have doubts about the best way to handle things.

I'm glad that the plots are starting to tie together for you. Wren, rabbits, Dillon... it's not as tight as an Oreo cookie, but I hope the connection comes out clear eventually.

Yeah, Rose. I don't know what to do with her sometimes.

Ah, yes. It's proper and decent to cover your tracks. Anyone who doesn't is just a barbarian. The shame! I don't want these guys as my next door neighbors, that's for sure!

Thanks for another lovely review! It's always great to see your thoughts about this story.

Until next time!


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Review #25, by BellatrixLover3 Whispering Hearts

12th August 2014:
I love it! PLEASE make more chapters! If you'd like please view my story Dark Heart.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading! I'm glad you liked it. Good luck with your story, Dark Heart. It looks interesting. Let me know when you have the second chapter up.

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