Reading Reviews for Atlas Air
  
21 Reviews Found

Review #1, by The Misfit Prologue

5th March 2014:
Hello, Marina ♥ I'm so sorry for the lateness of this review; real life has decided that it doesn't like me these days, apparently!

From the very beginning, your description is beautiful. The imagery that you've used is striking -- you've mastered show, not tell perfectly, and I just loved the mystery that you've draped this one-shot in. With every fact that you've revealed, you give us a question -- like that Teddy and Victoire are more than friends, which immediately makes me ask whether they're a couple, but at the time I'm sensing friendship between them at present. And I'm really curious as to who Robin is -- it's clear he's somewhat important to Victoire, since she addresses him as "darling" in her letter and cares about his forgiveness of her, but we don't quite know in what capacity yet.

Your action-writing ability is absolutely superb. You've captured the fear that Teddy and Victoire are feeling, and described that they're moving and hiding so eloquently that I can almost picture them in my mind's eye -- and yet, we still don't know who their jailers are, or who the mysterious man is at the ending. I'm intrigued at his shamelessness, because Victoire mentions trusting him only for him to betray them, and I want to know who he is and why he feels powerful enough to face them again. I get the feeling that he's working with the people who have been keeping them imprisoned, and if that's true then trouble just went through the roof :P

I did spot a small typo: My joints are stiff from being stuck in this room for days. -- it's in present tense, while the rest of Victoire's narration is in past, so you may want to correct it :)

Overall, this is a beautiful prologue, Marina. Your cliffhanger has me on tenterhooks, and I'm definitely coming back to see what happens in chapter one! The fact that you've been to Africa just amplifies the beauty of your writing, because you can embed your real-life experiences into it (although I hope the prison cell is fictional!) This is actually the first story of yours that I've read, and given the breathtaking quality of this prologue, I've clearly been missing out.

I look forward to reading more of this novel! ♥

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Review #2, by LovlyRita Front Page News

12th February 2014:
Alright then! YAY another chapter.

so let's see here, I LOVE the dynamic you've set up between Victoire and Teddy vs Victoire and Rob. you should know that even though his name is Robin, I'm still picturing Robb Stark in my head. Do with that what you will. Actually now I'm also picturing Robin Gibb. You know, like The Bee Gees? It's like a weird cross between both of them. That's weird isn't it. I shouldn't talk sometimes.

Anyway, I love that victoire has reservations about going at first, she seems completely reasonable, but it makes sense that Teddy would want to go, to do this to make both of their careers. I think it's really interesting that you chose poachers as the main subject for their journalistic endeavor. It's something you don't really think about for wizards to be concerned about. I think it's a really unique and interesting story, and I kind of like that wizards and the community at large seem to care about animals in the same ways that muggles do.

to be honest, I'm interested to see how you work in Magic here, because so far it's been relatively...sparse in the magic department, which is TOTALLY fine - I tend to write like that as well. But I'm interested to see if there is anything they can do in Africa as far as magic that maybe muggles can't. I'm not really sure I guess they are only there to report on it, not actually do anything. That being said, Victoire HAD to have done something to get thrown in that cell in the prologue, amirite? :P

hmm what else...I like Victoire and Rob, and I can see that going south eventually. I think his concern is warranted, and it kind of seems like Victoire has one foot in the relationship and one foot out. It seems like she wants to marry this guy and have her happiness and what have you, but mostly it seems like she's leaning on her other foot out, more determined to do her job, to see the world, to make a difference. That might have been a lot of assumptions that I made about a character in just one chapter but it's just the way I feel damn it!

I am also wondering if some of the things Rob said to Victoire were things that people actually said to you before you went to Africa? About it being super dangerous and such, I bet someone probably did say something like that to you at one point. Buuut anyway.

Also I loved the opening paragraph of the chapter, when she's trying to write something about Sydney and then keeps changing the words around. OMG I write like that so much, it was very relatable and something that I could see her doing. Or me dong. like I'm doing right now. Actually I'm just tired right now so I'ma stop.

LOVE YOU, write more. I'll race you. let's go.

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Review #3, by LovlyRita Prologue

12th February 2014:
Well hello my darling!! I am here to leave you a review on what promises to be an AMAZING story!

Ok first of all, can I just say that the fact that you have been to Africa makes your descriptions and your imagery THAT much more potent?? It's so believable because you've SEEN it. Maybe not the inside of a cell (I hope not the inside of a cell :P Unless there's something you're keeping from me?) but seriously. I can tell this is already going to be a story rich in detail and I seriously cannot wait!

Ok, to content. I love that you've opened it with a letter! How intriguing, and a bit creepy too. Because of the line with her writing it in the dirty from her fingernails. That's messed up :P But it really does such a very fabulous job of showing what a dire situation she is in with just ONE LINE. Fabulous work there!

And then her discussion with Teddy, at first I thought he was in a cell next to her, but when I realized he wasn't I was like wha!! I am so intrigued as to the events that lead up to this situation, and I am completely sure that you will get there in all due time :P

And can I just say that I am fangirling all over the place for your action?? What a great action writer you are! It's kind of a sin against humanity that I've never really read a lot of your work, but I think your action here is so detailed and so quick. You can just feel her terror as she's running away, and doesn't even know where she's going!

ok so here's something that I loved and you're probably going to be like um ok? That's a weird thing to love? But I LOVED how you introduced this new diabolical character into the fold, with a simple "Argh" and the following sentence. I admire it so much because I personally always struggle with ways to transition to a new thing with action, how to introduce something in a frenzied way without using the word "suddenly.. blah blah blah" so I loved that so much! Very well done, I am going to have to remember some of these tricks!

Ok other things, I loved your description of her cracked lips, itchy red eyes, etc. I'm always a sucker for things that happen on the body, although I must admit that itchy red orbs does has a ring to it, a little disappointed you chose not to go in that direction :P

Overall I really enjoyed it, and that's saying something because sometimes I find it really difficult to enjoy fanfiction nowadays but this I think is super unique and something that I could really get in to. So you should definitely keep writing :) Your writing style is so fluid and intriguing, I just loved this! WRITE MORE MARINA. MORE. WRITE MORE. :D hahaha. Just kidding. But only a little bit.

NOTE: I do understand there's another chapter. Don't judge me. I'm trying to be supportive.

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Review #4, by Erised Front Page News

9th February 2014:
Another review for you, yay!

Firstly, can I just say how much I loved this line: "The reflection of the late afternoon sun gleamed off the top of his shiny bald head when he bent down." I think this really makes the piece as a reflection (ha) of how bald men go through a lot of challenges in life that hairy people just can't understand. I also thought it could be a metaphor for as the light from the bald man's head being a new beginning for them both on the African plains, or an example of new hope between Teddy and Victoire perhaps to blossom into something more. Either way, I really loved this line!

I thought it was interesting to see the dynamic between Rob Right (he sounds like a dodgy advert for a criminal lawyer) and Victoire. They don't sound massively happy to be honest, especially for people getting married in three months. It's an exciting time for them both, so there must be some trouble on the cards for them. Mr and Mrs All Right Ok Then might not be so Right for each other after all :( especially as he sounds dishy. I'll have him if Victoire's not interested...

Anyway, I'm excited for them both to go to Africa so we can see who the bad man is and to stop all those animals from getting hurt. That made me seriously sad, just the mere thought of it. :(

KEEP WRITING BECAUSE I LOVE THIS

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Review #5, by Erised Prologue

5th February 2014:
I AM FINALLY REVIEWING. Late to the party I know, but you knew this was coming.

YAY for Teddy and Victoire not being together immediately and not in the near future. I think that's important considering they're one of the most popular fanfic couples known to man (are they still? I don't keep up with these trends any more.) Anyway, we all know Ted's your jam anyway and you write them both beautifully.

As you have gone travelling you have all the first hand experiences and this makes the story very authentic. It's awesome to read because I know how much you loved it and that shines from the page.

I'm desperate to find out what happens next with them being on the run from the weird makeshift prison and then escaping and then the creepy guy. INTERESTED, I TELL YOU. You know how to start a story off, that's for sure.

LOVE THIS, LOVE YOU

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Review #6, by mcdash Front Page News

31st January 2014:
I loved this chapter! It gives a lot of background to the prologue, as well as explaining who Rob is and why Teddy and Victoire are in Africa. I really like how you're continuing her letters to Rob, because it gives us a peek at Victoire's normal life. Also, her and Teddy's friendship is beautiful. They seem to care about each and know each other inside and out, and I can't wait to see how that affects each other in Africa. This story is incredible and so promising for later chapters. :)

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Review #7, by teh tarik Front Page News

23rd January 2014:
Ooh, Marina, I can't remember if I've ever read any of your stories! Which is awful of me, and here I am to rectify that. Also, I hope you don't mind that I didn't leave a review for your prologue, but it really looks like this chapter needs a bit of love.

Goodness, your prologue was completely gripping! I have no idea exactly what Teddy and Victoire have been through, or how their assignment on poachers could have gone so wrong and put them through so much danger. You're really good at revealing nothing, and yet keeping your reader completely hooked. :P Ahh, I loved all the little sensory details: the heat, the flies and cockroaches, the washing strung on wire and the narrow alley between the shack. Everything was so vivid and so, so tense and fast-paced and that mystery attacker at the end...was just terrifying. You're lovely at writing action sequences.

And I love this first chapter here as well - how you set up Victoire's life and her job and her relationship with her fiance. I love how normal everything seems, such a perfect contrast to the chaos and terror of the prologue, and I'm on the verge of shouting at my screen in some vain attempt to stop Teddy and Victoire from making the trip. I'm not sure what to make of Thane, except he is a really demanding boss, and it's no surprise how pressured Victoire feels into going on this trip. And I love her relationship with Teddy! Teddy as the Maid of Honour has got to be the best thing in a Teddy/Victoire fic. And I also really enjoyed that small moment you wrote between Rob and Victoire, and their argument which then ends in a tender moment. Also, I love how you've started both chapters so far with Victoire's letters to Rob. I'm very interested to read on and find out if their relationship will last through the ordeal that Victoire and Teddy are about to experience.

This is a wonderful and incredibly exciting story! I'll be following this and I'm looking forward to your update! Thanks for agreeing to do a swap with me. :D

-teh

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Review #8, by academica Prologue

22nd January 2014:
Hey Marina, here for Review Tag :)

Wow, this is an interesting plot idea! I hope you didn't experience anything like this on your travels :) Just kidding. I'm curious to find out more about Robin and how Teddy and Victoire got themselves into this situation. I want to believe that somehow Teddy will survive his injury, but I'm doubtful of that, unfortunately :( Oh, and I wonder who the man that betrayed them is?

I really liked the imagery you used in this chapter. Obviously description is important in a story about faraway places, especially if you've been there and many of your readers haven't. This line, and the whole paragraph it came from, was particularly effective: Sunburn arrived in cycles when the nearest available cream was perched on a shop shelf some fifty miles away. You did a great job of summing up the harsh realities of Africa in just a few lines.

Great job, and I hope to return sometime soon.

-Amanda

Author's Response: Ah wow, thank you Amanda! Rest easy, I did not experience anything nearly so traumatic! Thank goodness ;)

I'm glad you liked the description. It's hard trying to really capture the reality of somewhere I've been but others may not have and I really wanted it to translate well in writing.

Thank you so much!


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Review #9, by sharzamow Front Page News

20th January 2014:
Meep, I love Victoire, so, so much. I think it's often hard for people to make Victoire likable, although I'm not entirely sure why, and I think she can get mistreated in fanfic quite a lot, but I just love this one so much! She seems so cool and independent and a wee bit haughty, but in the most lovable way. It's really interesting reading from her perspective - I feel like I say this to everyone, but I find first-person perspective super hard, it always seems so clunky whenever I write it, but, hey. You nailed it. Her character and personality shines through, and she's hugely vivid and likable.

I could basically wax lyrical about Teddy, as well - I've only just encountered him (well, since the prologue...) and I'm already swooning over him. He's just fantastic, and I love how he's Victoire's best mate - I genuinely thought, upon reading the prologue, that he and Victoire would be a couple, so it's quite refreshing to see them as merely best mates and a writer/photographer duo.

I'm not entirely certain if I like Rob or not quite yet, but, as you've done with all of the other characters, you've written him really well - and I suppose there's something quite endearing about him! The relationship you've portrayed between him and Victoire is cool, as well - it's not just shown as sunshine and roses, and they can be snarky to each other, but it's obvious there's genuine affection on both sides, which is a really realistic portrayal.

And they're off, now - I love how you've jumped right into the action, and the plot, and I'm just mega excited for what's coming next.

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Review #10, by sharzamow Prologue

20th January 2014:
This story seems so exciting - I was pretty much instantly compelled by the summary, because it sounded poles apart from the usual fanfictions you come across, and it just came across as so original and exciting and, I don't know, fresh? And I totally wasn't disappointed. I admit that I'm a menace about Prologues, in the sense that I'm generally not fond of them, but I thought this was great. Obviously I'm not sure what's going on, but it's really cool, because too often I think we're lumped in with all the information in the first chapter/prologue and this was fantastic because it piqued my interest for the rest of the story, made me determined to find out how Teddy and Victoire had ended up that way, and got me pumped for the chapters to follow, without sort of...overloading with information, I guess? I don't know, it's just pretty exciting to read a story that's already steeped in mystery and that's super intriguing already!

Both Teddy and Victoire have very strong characters already - as in, they both sort of jumped off the page (oop, screen) and formed themselves in my mind without there being any sort of awkwardness in the dialogue. Your writing's really lovely, like it's super sophisticated and it flows so well and it's very nice to read - I mean, it's pretty (that sounds so inadeqate and condescending, eep, I'm sorry - I'm terrible at writing down what I mean!) but it never gets to that stage where it's purple prose-y or overdone, and you write all the action bits fantastically, too!

The only weeny criticims I can make - and they're practically microscopic so I'm sorry if I seem nit-picky, just, I dunno, so you know I suppose? - is that in Victoire's letter to Rob you wrote "though no owl can follow me here", which was probably a typo and ought to be that...so, not really a criticism, because typos pretty much happen all the time. And at one point you jumped from past tense to present - Victoire says "my joints are stiff" while everything else is in past tense so it reads sort of awkwardly, but that was probably just a typo, as well?

But anyways, this was gorgeous and really interesting and I don't know, this entire plot seems so cool and original and I'm basically fascinated by the entire thing. I've never been to Africa, so it'll be fab to read about it from the perspective of a writer who's been there, and it'll be even more fab to see the magical element in this story. Anyways, it's great, and I'm looking forward to all of the other chapters!

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Review #11, by toomanycurls Prologue

18th January 2014:
Review swap!

This is an incredibly captivating prologue! It starts off so intense but doesn't slow down to give a ton of back story - which I love!

It's a bit heartbreaking that Victoire is writing to Rob (whoever he is) on the walls of her cell. I like to think that Rob might one day hear about or find out about it. Just a guess, but I think Rob is a child.

I can't help but wonder why it's better off for Teddy that his leg stay broken. Teddy's reaction to hearing about the letter to Rob makes me think that he might be Teddy and Victoire's son. Okay, maybe not if the arrived as best friends. Maybe Rob is Victoire's boyfriend person. That could explain why she's wondering about him forgiving her.

You write with such visual acuity - especially where they're forced against the chicken coop. It just seemed so realistic to me. There's such a wonderful sense of urgency as they're escaping. Without going into a lot of elaboration, you've made Teddy and Victoire very complex and showed their intense relationship.

Ah!! Ending on a cliffy is just mean. You have a lovely intro to what seems like a great story!

-Rose

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Review #12, by Cavell Prologue

17th January 2014:
Hi, it's Raine from the forums and the review battle!

I've seen the link around for this story a lot, and I've been very intrigued by it so I'm really happy that I got to read and review it now! The first few paragraphs grabbed my intention instantly, and I was definitely intrigued about the situation Teddy and Victoire got themselves into even from the very beginning, so if that was your intention with the letter, then well done! Also, I loved the idea for this story -- the few stories I've read about these two characters in particular are always set in Hogwarts, so even if you hadn't specifically requested for Atlas Air to be reviewed, I would have definitely reviewed it anyway just because the whole idea of this story really interests me.

Your description here is flawless. I don't know what it is about it, but even from reading your description of what kind of place the two characters in, I kind of felt their desperation -- the way you wrote the descriptions just gave off that kind of vibe, if that makes sense? Which it probably doesn't, sorry! :p I quite liked Victoire and Teddy's characters too -- I loved the whole part about them being more than the best friends they were before this chapter was set and how protective Teddy was over Victoire and I'm honestly really looking forward to reading how they develop into the people in this chapter.

Even though I'm not completely sure of what was going on in this chapter, I still think it was a good introduction to this wonderful story and I just want to add that I adore the fact that this is set in Africa :''D Your quick pace was easy to keep up with and your clear writing made for an amazing read and I do wish you all the best for future chapters -- this was a pleasure to read!

--Linn

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Review #13, by Aphoride Prologue

16th January 2014:
Hey there - stopping by for the review battle! :)

And just... wow. Wow. This is incredible. Honestly. I've never read anything like it - it's so unique as a premise and, really, I love it. This is definitely going on my reading list and favourites! I'm going to have to come back, read it again and again and again, and follow this all the way to the end!

Your writing is stupendous. I read Just Rose and I've really missed reading your work - it's so beautiful and smooth and clear and, gah, I wish I could write like you! So lovely! You use just the right amount of description and dialogue and your action is so fast-paced! I love the letter as well, it's so simple and really sounds like something someone in Victoire's position might write.

I love your characters. They're always amazing - so well thought out and so realistic. They always jump off the page towards me, and this isn't an exception. Victoire and Teddy are great! I love how they're such good friends, know each other so well, and relying on each other.

I'm so excited by the plot and setting. Africa is such a beautiful, mysterious place in my mind, because I've never been there, but watched a lot of documentaries about it and always been fascinated by it. The plot is just amazing. I'm so curious about what they find, who the mysterious attacker is, what's going on and how (if) they get out of it.

You really, really have a knack of writing beautiful, fascinating stories! Honestly, I love your writing. You're brilliant! :)

Sorry this review is a bit short, but, seriously, I can't find anything else to say other than rambling on endlessly about how much I love this! There's nothing wrong with this - flawless plot, setting, a lovely fast pace, amazing characters... just wonderful.

I'll be back... :P

Aph xx

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Review #14, by Infinityx Front Page News

16th January 2014:
Hello again! Round two for the review tag!

First of all, yay! I know who Rob is now. He seems like he really cares about Victoire which is clear from his concern and worry for her so I'm curious about what their relationship would be like when Victoire gets back, especially after bonding so much with Teddy.

I love how you've started this chapter off with a letter as well. It would be lovely if you start all the chapters with a letter. Victoire's writing reveals so much about her character as well as her relationship with Rob. And it's an great way of expressing her feelings as well, which you clearly showed in the first chapter.

I enjoyed reading the conversation between Teddy and Victoire. The light-hearted banter there is a sharp contrast from the prologue and it lifted my spirits up considerably. I love the part in which Victoire mock threatens Teddy and his response as well. It gives a subtle insight into the comfortable friendship they have and it's very refreshing to read.

I have a feeling that Alfie Biggins has a lot more to do with this story. I can't wait to find out! Update soon! I'll definitely be stopping by once you do. :)

- Erin

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Review #15, by Infinityx Prologue

16th January 2014:
Hi there! I'm here for the review tag.
I was so intrigued by this chapter that I decided that I'll keep reading and leave two reviews for you instead of one. :)

I love the way this chapter begins with a letter rather than a narrative. It gives the story a wonderfully mysterious touch as soon as it commences. Then when I read the line "writing this letter with the dirt from under my fingernails" and "I'm trapped in this cell of a room with no comfort but writing to you on the walls," that was really amazing. It was such a powerful way of setting the mood of the story. Those lines were just brilliant. I was immediately struck by an image of a forlorn young woman, desperately wanting to return home. The way her feelings are expressed towards this Rob character seems to suggest that he's her boyfriend/fiance/husband which is really interesting since your ship says Teddy/Victoire. I'm really eager to find out how that happens as well.

Your descriptions are really vivid and leave a great visual impact. It's really horrible to imagine being stuck in a place like that. *shudder*

You've done an amazing job at writing their escape. There's so much adrenaline pumping through each line and it was so engrossing. Then finally, the mystery character. Your description of him really gave me the chills. And since there's a mention that it's someone they trusted, I can't wait to keep reading and try to guess who he could be!

Also, I'm quite partial towards alliterations and I really loved one of yours - "small splinter of sun."

This chapter really keeps the interest and questions flowing, which is the mark of a wonderful first chapter. :)

- Erin.

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Review #16, by mcdash Prologue

5th January 2014:
Wow, what a beginning! It pulled me in right from the start, and I can't wait to read more. There were so many things I loved about this chapter, especially the letter Victoire writes to Rob. I think it's the perfect start to the story. It sets up the premise while still leaving a sense of mystery. Also, Teddy and Victoire's relationship. It's not a relationship, but it's more then just a friendship. I feel that's severely lacking in so many Teddy/Victoire fics. Overall, I thought this was a great chapter! :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much! Teddy/Victoire is one of my favourite fics and it's not written enough. Thanks for the review!

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Review #17, by slytherinchica08 Prologue

31st December 2013:
Wow this is such a wonderful beginning! It really sucked me in right away and already has me wondering what is going to happen next as well as guessing what has already happened to them. Poor Teddy, I hope that he is alright. You know, I really don't have much to say about this chapter at all. It was all really wonderfully done and I couldn't find anything wrong or make any suggestions to make it better. It read extremely well, there was never a hesitation or spot that left me questioning about what you meant. The description was there and helped me picture some of the torture and harsh weather that they must have endured on their trip before being captured and also gave me an idea of what things had been like for them once they were captured. I was all excited for them, thinking that they were going to be able to get out without any problems and then bam! A person showed up, one that they obviously knew but yet I have no idea who it is. I'm hoping that its not the Rob that she was writing to on the walls but I also feel like it would be right if it was him. Honestly this first chapter was done really well and I do look forward to the next and I will be trying to keep my eyes out for any updates! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: I'm glad it sucked you in! I think that's always the mark of a good first chapter and it's quite difficult to achieve so that is high praise indeed. Thank you so much for the lovely review!

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Review #18, by ReeBee Prologue

30th December 2013:
Hi there Marina!!

How interesting!! It sounds awesome! :D ooh, I saw that three people have left reviews before me, so I just wanted to let u know that I'll probably have no CC. I like gushing in my reviews :)

Anyway! I have heaps of questions! Which is a great thing- I'll definitely read on to have an answer to all my questions! And gahh! I don't know how to express anything in words!! And of course, that means this review isn't going to be useful at all. Sorry!

But, I somehow love Teddy already! I don't know why! Ooh, who's Rob? I'm so curious! Victoire seems to be writing him like he's someone close or very precious to her? A boyfriend? As Teddy doesn't seem to be romantically involved with Vic? But, Teddy's already super sweet! :D

Update soon! :D

-ReeBee :)

Author's Response: I'm so glad you have questions! I was aiming to give you enough detail to get a good idea of their situation, but leave enough unsaid to keep you guessing. Thank you for the lovely review! :)

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Review #19, by CambAngst Prologue

30th December 2013:
Hi, Marina! I saw the link you posted and, well, I'm a sucker for an interesting story. Since this one doesn't seem to involve anyone getting pregnant after a party in the common room or Hermione in leather pants, it already has a leg up on most of the competition. ;)

I really liked what you did with the first chapter. You put in enough information to get an idea of what's going on in the story, but you saved a lot of the plot for later chapters. And you didn't dump loads of irrelevant back story on me, either. There's a very refined quality to the way that you write which sets this apart from a lot of what I find in review swaps. You're obviously pretty good at this.

You did a great job of setting the scene with the little details of Victoire's cell that you picked out. It was very spartan and narrow in scope, exactly the way that you'd expect somebody to describe a place where they've been held prisoner for long enough to start losing touch with the outside world. It was easy to imagine her sweating in the heat of the day and shivering in the cold nights. The letter that she tries to write to the person I'm assuming is her boyfriend added to the hopeless feel of her situation. All-around nicely done.

I think it's interesting that Teddy and Victoire are your central pairing, yet they're not together at the start of the story. There's obviously a special sort of friendship there. It should be interesting to see how something more emerges from that.

Their escape had a nice tension to it. The irregular, stop-and-go nature of their flight added to the confusing, herky-jerk quality. It reminded me of an action movie shot in close focus. I really like the effect. Then we meet the mystery antagonist at the end. Great way to end the chapter.

I saw a few things that might be typos near the start of the chapter:

I was roused from my sleep by the sound Teddy calling softly through the corrugated iron sheet acting that was the crude door to my cell. -- "by the sound of Teddy calling" and I think it should either be "iron sheet acting as the crude door" or "iron sheet that was the crude door".

I could hear every break he took and ever slight movement of his feet on the dust beneath him. -- "every breath he took and every slight movement"

Very nice job! I'm definitely interested to see what happens next.

Author's Response: Damn those typos. Just when I think I've found them all. Thank you for pointing those out, I will edit.

Well don't be too quick to judge. I was totally going to have Leather Pants Giraffe in this but you've spoiled the surprise now :(

It's been a long time since I wrote any action so I'm glad you found it a nice read. It is important to set the scene but at the same time you can't have an escape scene bogged down by extraneous detail. It's a difficult balance to find and this has gone through a few drafts trying to find it.

With Teddy and Victoire - it's definitely not a love story, this one, but the intrigue is there to hint that it might have been or could be. You'll see. Victoire has this pre-existing conflict with her boyfriend that provides this sick sort of hope that he might one say read her letters. That one, sadly, isn't going to see the light of day.

Thank you so much for the review. It means such a lot, especially coming from a veteran like you :)

Marina


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Review #20, by MissesWeasley123 Prologue

30th December 2013:
Hi hi hi.

I've been seeing in you sig, that you were going to start posting a new story. I've always wanted to read something by you... But all of your stories look so nice and I just could never choose :P Plus novel lengths scare me because I'm super slow. I like this way better too, one chapter at a time.

And, wow? This was amazing. You write beautifully. Already I am engrossed into your plot and it's very hard to make the first chapter/prologue interesting but you managed to do that in a really effective way. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

I think I'm sensing more of a friendship between Victoire and Teddy rather than a romantic relationship. I find that very clever and unique, which makes it so much of a bonus to reading this fic. But then there's also this line, which told me otherwise:

"Did you?" His tone was strained, almost too casual. He had stopped shuffling too. -- this made me feel like Teddy might have feelings for her, and then this:

We were more than the best friends we had been three months ago when we left London for this strange new continent. -- which is basically telling me they're more than friends. Anyways, I'm a confused person and definitely no Ravenclaw, and I'll find out in due time.

It's brilliant, honestly. Another thing I must add is this Robin guy, I'm so intrigued about him, and why Victoire needs his forgiveness... What has she done? Is it because she left for Africa? Colour me interested.

And the later! That was very intense. And the cliffhanger was rather cruel of you ;) I'm really enjoying Victoire and Teddy. Can't wait for the next update!

Author's Response: Oooh you're good. You have picked up on my very subtle hints! You will find out in due course, of course, but there's plenty of drama left to unfold. I am so excited for this story and I've been planning it for a while. I just wanted to use my travel experience in a productive way and I hope you'll continue to enjoy this. Thank you so much for reviewing :)

Marina


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Review #21, by VioletBlade Prologue

30th December 2013:
Marina my dear! I believe I have first review! :D Which is amazing since that never really happens on stories by famous people like you :P Okay, so this story is literally everything you promised me! I love, love, love that it's Teddy and Victoire, actually, and I'm so happy you changed it! I can't wait to read more about what got them to this point!

Honestly, the way you write makes me want to cry. With tears of joy. It makes me happy. But also a little sad because I can't write as well as you :P The way you describe things is perfect! I need to learn from you!

I'm also now listening to the song that inspired this wonderful work of fan fiction!

I know this is sort of redundant, but I can't wait until the next update! Definitely going in my favorites, hun! :)

-Becca

Author's Response: Becca! You are the absolute best. This is such a nice way for me to revisit my travel memories and in a productive way too. Hopefully you'll enjoy the rest and it'll live up to my hopes and dreams for it. THANK YOU!

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