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13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by marauderfan Rendezvous

17th November 2014:
Hi! I'm here with your requested review!

Considering you are not a native English speaker, I'm really impressed with this - your word choice and the feelings you evoke through your writing are really superb. I found while I was reading it that I really wanted them to just be happy together (and that's saying a lot, as I'm a dedicated Ron/Hermione shipper and don't particularly like Snape, so well done on your writing :P )

Your characterization of both of them was spot on! I can definitely see Hermione being frustrated and Severus being cold and aloof, as that's what he's been for most of his life. And in the contrasts you drew between the two of them, you showed a different side of their personalities than is normally focused on. In particular I loved the bit about Severus being 'more' as he had loved someone his whole life without being loved in return. The bit about their hands too was such a great contrast in showing how much of their lives they have lived, but at the end of the day, it's love that matters, not age, right? Just ask Tonks. :p

You asked in particular about your dialogue but I really think you had nothing to worry about in that regard! It was great! There were a few areas that I think maybe you could look over because as they are, they're a bit confusing, like here:

The whisper, light as it was fluttered over Severus much as a butterfly would and as since it did, it held more impact. -- First, I think it would be good to have a comma after 'was'. And then the part "and as since it did, it held more impact" is what confuses me. I don't think you need that phrase in there at all actually; it's beautiful enough if you end with 'as a butterfly would'.

it was loud with the cold and stifling presence of it -- Here, I think the sentence would benefit if you clarify what the second 'it' refers to. I think you mean silence, but 'it' is a vague word and so I'm not entirely sure.

But other than those tiny things, you've done really well. The dialogue is great, and the way you portrayed the two characters is really fantastic. Well done! :)

Author's Response: Thanks! :D I do have insecurities regarding my writing so I'm glad you thought this was superb. *sigh of relief* Also, I have a huge smile on my face. Thank you so much! :D
Haha, you don't like Snape? -gasps- I've always been a huge Snape fan, hehe.xD But I am glad that I managed to make you want them to be happy together.

I am also so happy that you think that my characterization of them was spot on! Believe me, I laboured on making sure that they sounded believable so I'm glad that came through! I am also incredibly flattered you like the bit about the hands -- it's one of parts in this fic that I'm receiving great feedback on and I'm uber happy because I love hands! They're sexy and the most fun to write about.
Age is poo. Older men can actually be sexy. I agree with Tonks 110%. ;)

Thank you for putting those in. :O I've been dominated by my lover again (pronouns. *sigh*) so will definitely have to edit. Anyway, this fic is due a cleaning so I'll be sure to include clarifying those sentences.

Thanks for the gorgeous review, Kristin! You really helped.

--Carla


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Review #2, by LightLeviosa5443 Rendezvous

17th November 2014:
OKAY CARLA I'M READING YOUR SNARMIONE!

Okay, can we just talk about your description. Like holy woah lady your description is out of this world amazing. You describe every scene and moment brilliantly and I am just in love with your word choice. It feels simple yet it looks complex, which totally makes no sense but it does so whatever. I'm in love with the mood of the story already, as well. I can feel his desperation and the coldness that he speaks of. It kind of gave me chills at first.

Your
Story
Gave
Me
Chills

Wow, I am in love with Hermiones point of view. I thought Snapes was powerful, hers is just holy woah. Your description really makes me feel with Hermione, and I could feel the dread and the pain and the fear and the anger. I can hear her voice in my head. It's brilliant. Absolutely just wonderul. Also, I'm kind of dying to know what's happening next. You are slowly selling me on this ship, Carla.

In his professor voice. Oh god. Can I just punch him? I want to punch him? He can feel her pain in the silence of the room and the way she looks and yet he's just going to ruin it with his professor voice? AGH. DUDE. Oof, did he really? Jeez, he's just messing up all over the place. Poor Hermione.

Poor Hermione. Poor Hermione. Poor Hermione. Awe, they're making some progress. That was a cute moment with the hands. Absolutely adorable. Aand he's messed it up again. Maybe Severus should just stop talking about everything other than how he feels about her. I bet that'll make this go more smoothly. :P

Okay, so that ending was super cute, and he finally told her his feelings. I'm still a little hesitant on the ship, but I definitely don't hate it. The ship aside, this story was absolutely brilliant. Your writing is remarkably beautiful, darling!

xoxo Sarah ♥

Author's Response: HAHA. AREN'T I SNEAKY PUTTING MY SNAMIONE IN YOUR SWAP. HA. :P

Anyway, thank you! Description are like my filters. I can't live without them. I can chuck dialogue out the window but please don't take away my descriptions. hehehe.

CHILLS? Well, OMG, I am floored. Like, totally floored. I had hoped it would evoke a certain emotion but I am glad the mood is effective. I must have done a million edits to get it done. hihi.

I think Hermione's is more powerful because she's open to a lot of things and she's just so much more vulnerable in this story. She's in love, scared of losing that and just angry at the situation. Snape, on the other hand, is just being stubborn. tsk. SLOWLY selling the ship, eh? That is a HUGE compliment because I know how intensely you love canon. ;)

YES. HIS PROFESSOR VOICE. You don't know how many times I heard that voice whispering in my head. It was very distracting. hehe (and probably indicative of a sanity problem but psh)

Haha, poor Sevvie can't talk about his feelings. That's why he gets into messes so often. Haha.

Oh, thanks! I'm glad you think the ending is good. :) I'm actually still wondering what would have happened if I'd just made them go their separate ways. BUT NU. D= I can't. HAHA.

Haha, ofc you're hesitant but I am glad you don't hate it. And thank you! :D I'm glad you think so.

--Carla xoxo


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Review #3, by Loonylovegood67890 Rendezvous

17th November 2014:
Hello Carla! I'm here for the review swap. I'm so sorry that this is later than anticipated, please forgive me!

I've never read a Hermione/ Severus story before so this pairing was quite new to me. I like it. I can totally see them together now. I think the way you wrote it made me completely believe that they could get together.

Severus doesn't really open up with his true feelings which I think you captured in the story brilliantly. And also you showed how deeply in love they both were. The way They both spoke to each other felt so natural and it was as if they knew they were a perfect pairing.

I love how you made Severus insecure about loving Hermione and how she reassured him, it made me go all fuzzy and warm inside. And it was such a heart warming moment when he finally told her he loved her. It made me smile so much. :)

It also made me smile when he called he a 'bossy know-it-all' because it proves he loves her for herself and the way she is.

Beautiful story, thank you for the swap! I have now become a fan of Hermione / Severus shipping. :D

Thanks again.

- Becca.

Author's Response: Hi Becca! No problem.. :) I'm generally super patient. Thanks for the swap, first and foremost. hihi.

Oh, well, I don't think you're the first, who hasn't read a Snamione. Of the several people I've (nearly) literally shoved this story at, most haven't either. haha. But, I'm glad you think it's believable. It's so important to me that it be as believable as possible (which is hard because Snamione is such a stretch. haha)

Anyway, yes, I do think they are so very in love with one another. I came into this with that assumption. I don't know if I am capable of showing HOW they fall in love but, rather, I like showing how they deal with that love. It was a deliberate (and lazy) decision.

Haha, yes. Well, Snape actually likes the bossy know-it-all aspect of Hermione. He might have picked on her in school but in my headcanon it's only because she's friends with Harry and not because he thought she was a bad student (quite the opposite actually)

Haha, well, that's awesome! I'm glad you enjoyed the Snamione.:D It's always nice to bring someone over to the dark side. ;)

--Carla


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Review #4, by wolfgirl17 Rendezvous

17th November 2014:
Hey Carla,

Wolfgirl here with your requested review.

I know you said you have troubles with dialogue, but for this story you really don't have to worry. Severus is prone to using few words unless they are for insulting others, and so his silence throughout most of this story is fitting. He doesn't express himself easily unless he is angry.

You captured both of them very well in fact. I like the characterization of both Hermione and Severus in this story, and really enjoyed the tale.

I really enjoyed the flow and writing style too. You began mysteriously and really drew me in and it just improved from there. You also managed to find my weakness as I adore Hermione/Snape stories. I think she's one of the few people with even a hope of understanding such a complicated character, and the only one in the series with the mental capacity (besides maybe Dumbledore and McGonagall) to be able to compete with him and keep up with him intellectually.

This was just brilliant. I think there was maybe one or two mistakes regarding the clarification of past/present tense words use, but it didn't interrupt the story enough for me to even remember where or what they were.

I loved it. If you have more Snamione or even just other stories you'd like to share I'd love to read them. I hope this was helpful.

xx-Ellie

Author's Response: Hi Ellie!

Thank you for the review. You did it so very fast. I am super impressed. Hihi. I'm glad that you think that the dialogue was fitting. *phew* To be honest, I love writing Severus because he is an introspective, non-action man with such complexities. So challenging but strangely fun.

YES. Exactly. Hermione is the only person who could possibly understand Snape! He's just full of layers and she's smart enough and brave enough and stubborn enough to get through all that. That's why I have a weakness for Snamione too.

Yes, I'm sure there's a past/present tense issue. I tend to miss it here and now especially when I think I'm writing a flashback (and I'm not. ha) This fic needs an edit - definitely on my list of things to do.

And, as you well know, I DO have another Snamione. hehe.

Thanks for the review again, Ellie. You're so lovely.

--Carla


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Review #5, by Willow Rendezvous

11th November 2014:
Wow that was really great. Thanks for writing it, I liked the ship although I'd never read a story with it before. Your descriptions of their hands was so cute :D

Author's Response: Wow. Thank you! You're too sweet.. That you would leave an unsigned review. Makes me feel special.. The ship is special to me, really. I'm glad you pointed out the hands - that was one of the things I had really pictured in my head before I even knew where this entire thing was going.

THANKS

--C


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Review #6, by patronus_charm Rendezvous

10th November 2014:
Hey Carla, I couldn't not tag you in the review battle because I have a feeling I've never actually read anything by you so here I am :D

I really loved the first few paragraphs as you built up the mystery surrounding the meeting and the two of them really well. The use of pronouns in place of names here and throughout the story in fact was really great because it meant the story had such resonance as it really could be any two people in a forbidden relationship and I really liked that. Also, the way there was a letter involved and that was used to arrange the meeting added more tension and mystery as I wasn't entirely sure what would be discussed so it made finding out even more exciting.

Your description in this story was really great! I really liked how it was quite heavy because not only was it lovely but it meant that it showed all their emotions in another way and it was really clever.

Wah, the moment I loved and just carried so much feeling was when Snape showed Hermione his hands. It was just such a great example to show the differences between them and why they would never work in his opinion. The use of the visual aid was not only useful for Hermione but also for the reader as you could just envisage so much more and the differences between them became much clearer as a result. Snape seemed so sad at that point so all the feels too! ♥

Another thing I loved was how you touched on Lily because I felt that was necessary in order for them to actually be able to have a relationship together. It was interesting to see how Hermione was the naive one here and how she thought Lily should have loved him as he gave her everything whereas it was Snape who knew that Lily would never, ever, love him because of the way he treated her. It was nice to see that in this story he finally got some resolution with Lily as that love was always eating away at him so I'm glad he could get over it in the end, and I suppose Hermione helped a lot with that.

I honestly thought they weren't going to get together in the end so I rather liked the twist of them being together as that did surprise me and we do rarely see a happy ending with angst pairings such as Snape and Hermione. Overall, I really enjoyed this one-shot and great work on it!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hi Kiana. Thank you. :) -thinks-
No, I don't believe you have? But, really that's so sweet. -melts in a puddle of gooey emotion. ha-

Pronouns are my lover. You should ask my friend, who occasionally reads through things for me, because she always points out that I seem to have an aversion for using my character's names. (BUT BUT BUT he/she are so much easier to type. D=) I'm glad, though, that in this instance it actually works.

And, yes, that letter. I can just about see that piece of parchment -- crumpled with tension-filled words on it. Haha. And I imagined that it was how Severus would actually send a message (in my backstory he's afraid to produce a Patronus because he's actually afraid that it's changed already so letter by owl it was.)

Anyway, yes, the hands. I have a thing for hands. Describing them, using them as symbols, having them be the main point of action, etc. IDK, they're just so varied. Everyone's hands are so different so there's fun in seeing how ones hands can reflect the way their live's have gone. So, yes, I thought it seemed fitting in the fewest words possible to show how different the two of them are.

Lily. Yes, Lily. I think she's the most important thing for them to discuss. Even though they'd been getting closer the last few months (? I'm not too sure of the timeline here but, months it is) Snape would not have opened up to Hermione regarding Lily and she would have respected that. In this case; however, I think it was imperative for both of them to address the elephant in the room. So in my head, this is the first time the topic was brought up. woo!

I honestly think their point of view on the entire thing is skewed, of course. Hermione thinks Lily should have forgiven him but he thinks she was right in not doing so. I think they're both right and wrong so I just went with how they'd react in the situation and give them both resolution. I honestly don't think Severus would be able to accept loving anyone without resolving the "Lily era." I think he could fall in love but he would deny it.

Oh, I actually had it in my head the ENTIRE TIME that they'd split up. Hermione would tell Severus that she'd always love him, kiss him and leave, as he asks. I realized though that Severus deserved a happy ending and that Hermione (as I feel I've wrote her in this oneshot) would not have given up so easily.

Anyway, thank you thank you! Your review really made me think and thank you so much again! I hope you know your review totally made me smile. LIKE, a HUGE smile. :D

--Carla


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Review #7, by Veritaserum27 Rendezvous

9th November 2014:
Hi there!

I'm here for the BvB review battle from the common room!

I don't usually ship any characters from different generations and definitely not Hermione and Snape BUT - you did a fantastic job here.

You wrote each of them completely in character and gave their individual stories and the story of how they came to be in such a beautiful and easy way. This was really a joy to read. I could feel each of their emotions. But more importantly, I knew where each was coming from. The line about Severus being more of a man because he loved Lily so much really made me re-evaluate his entire character - new headcanon! I'd always resigned that Snape was sort of emotionally stunted because he couldn't get over Lily, but the way you've explained it makes so much sense - and justifies why Hermione and he are so linked together in your story.

The only part of the story that seemed a bit off was this paragaph:

There was anger there, in her and he could see but more than that, he could all but touch the pain and for that he was most sorry. In the days since he had set their meeting he had been rehearsing over and over, in his head, just what he would say yet faced with her and all the memories they shared, he could not seem to bring himself to use any of the words he had painstakingly practiced and prepared.

There is quite a lot of emotions and explanations tied in, but the entire thing is only two sentences. They both seem to be a little bit run-on and I think it would read better if they were shortened and made into four sentences. Not a big deal and overall, didn't take away from the story as a whole, but I thought I'd mention it :)

The other part that I really liked about this is that you kept me guessing until the very end as to whether they would really get together or not. I could see it going either way. But, in the end, I realized that Hermione would never give up on him!

Geat story!

♥ Beth (Veritaserum27)

Author's Response: BETH! Your review.. -sigh- -gushes-
Okay, sorry. It's just awesome and I'm just so happy when I read it. And, ah.. Okay onto coherent responding. lol

First off, I know that it's a huge ask for people to like Snamione. haha. I didn't really get into it until quite recently but there's just something about it. The fact that you don't hate it the way I've written is just makes me go back to incoherence.. -babbles-

YAY for new headcanon. You know, I actually thought hard about that part. I mean, would Severus be entirely emasculated because of his love and devotion for Lily or would that same love and devotion be construed as something else?
I thought that if I were a woman I'd find the strength of his loyalty as attractive and making him more (and not less) of a man. Since Hermione is highly intellectual, I would assume she'd have thought about it as I did and come to the same conclusion (at least I hope she would. haha)

OMG, RUN-ONS.. -laughs- It's my number one weakness.:O That and the comma splice.. They'll take over me some day. HAHA. But thank you for pointing that out. This fic is in serious need of editing and I will definitely make that paragraph a priority. Oh dear, there should be a Run-Ons Anonymous of something. I need help. HAHA

Honestly, I started out the fic with the COMPLETE INTENTION of having Hermione tell him that she loves him, kiss him and walk out of his life (FOREVER!) but I thought darling Sev (oh, he hates that nickname. ha) really deserved a happy ending and, well, Hermione would be too stubborn to give up on him (as you pointed out) so happy ending it was.

Thanks for the review again.

--Carla


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Review #8, by ravenclaw_princess Rendezvous

6th November 2014:
What I lovely story. I loved how it began, with no dialogue and no names being given. The use of language wove such an eloquent picture that the disposition of both characters was really clear. It really draw me into the scene and held me there.

I really like the characterisation of Snape and Hermione. It's not an easy type of relationship to have and I can fully understand Snape's hesitation. You could also see his pain and that wonder in him of how someone like Hermione could love him. Hermione showed her strong personality but also that vulnerability when faced with heartbreak.

This was beautifully written. I was drawn to it by the quote (I love Notting Hill) and you wove it into the story so well.

Author's Response: Thank you! Yes, I was quite lucky in getting this quote. I was completely and totally inspired by it!

Anyway, thank you. I seem to do that a lot, now that I think about it... Draw people in to read by not giving any names. It's either that or I just really love my pronouns. Could go either way. haha

Yes, I think I love Snamione so much because it's not a charmed existence. They're going to have troubles, they're going to have bumps but if they survive it then it's going to be worth it. And, yes, I was empathizing with both of them as I was writing. I didn't actually know if it was going to be a sad or happy ending before I wrote the happy ending. haha

Anywho, thank you for the fantastic review!

--Carla


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Review #9, by DraconisScarlet8587 Rendezvous

3rd May 2014:
What a beautiful love story. I was touched from start to end

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I really wanted to touch people's heartstrings with this one.. I'm glad you liked it

--Carla


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Review #10, by Unicorn_Charm Rendezvous

19th February 2014:
Loved, loved, loved, loved this! It was absolutely beautiful and superbly written. Well done!! :)

Author's Response: Thank you for this! I was tortured by this story and this pairing! hugs all around!

--C


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Review #11, by quixotic Rendezvous

2nd January 2014:
Hey! Here with the review. Sorry for the slight delay!

I've never really read any Hermione/Snape stories and I'm a mega canon nazi. Still, this was a really nice story. The way you described the relationship, it could have been about any ordinary couple. I quite like that in the beginning, you don't introduce the characters immediately. Not only does it want to make me read on, but it also generalizes the situation, if only for a short while.

I spot two distinct personalities in this story. You have Snape, the old and beaten down professor who struggles to accept himself for what he's worth. Then you have Hermione, the bright young heroine with a whole life ahead of her. Yet she chooses to spend it with a broken man. It just goes to show that love has no rules and no boundaries. Snape has the air of an experienced lover, someone who has already sold his heart once and is unwilling to sell it again. He sounds so restrained until Hermione manages to make him shed that armour. Something that Lily, I felt, never managed to do.

Hermione seems to evolve in this story, from a nervous and scared ex-student to someone who is determined to let her love really shine and convince Snape that it is okay to express what he feels. In a sense, she made Snape evolve as well by making him let go of his insecurities.

Your writing style has a wonderful rhythmic sense to it, as if it were a ballad woven around the lives of two lovers whom society would be unwilling to accept. I really enjoyed reading it. I hope that my appreciation did not get muddled up in all my rambling. This story really made me see a pairing I would normally scoff at in a very different light.

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review. Also, I am so so sorry that it took me eons to get a reply back to you. I am a horrid person. SORRY. But, really, I appreciate the review.

And, I'm sorry! I never realized you were major Canon-nazi... I am actually the exact opposite. I respect canon but never found much enjoyment reading/writing it because I just like breaking the rules. ;) Thanks for still laboring through reading this, though. I truly appreciate the review even more now.

I'm glad you pointed out that love has no rules and no boundaries because that's one of the things I am passionate about. I just tried to show how it feels to fall in love with someone, who society has ruled you aren't supposed to fall in love with.

I had a ton of fun characterizing Snape and Hermione here. I think that they're influenced by the person they're with so I tried to get that point across. And, yes, I had planned to have Hermione really evolve in the story because I believe she's the catalyst. She's the push that Severus needs to open up more. Not just to her but to the world in general.

I'm glad I've made you see Snamione in a different light. I'm trying to convert people to not hating it, one reader at a time.

Thanks again!

-Carla


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Review #12, by MrsKatieGrint Rendezvous

1st January 2014:
Hey there! KatieRoo from the forums here with your challenge review!(:

Okay, so I actually haven't ever read a Severus/Hermione fic before, and I was pleasantly surprised, because I always hear such mixed reviews about this ship, but you did a fabulous job, in my opinion!(:

This story just flows wonderfully, it reminded me of poetry the whole way through, just beautiful and light, even though the plot was quite dark. I love the fact that you made Hermione and Severus such bold characters, definitely contradicting each other.

I also applaude you on such a great way of utilizing the quote I gave you. So many emotion jam packed in one sentence, I would not have thought it was possible to do!

The only CC I have is that I think you accidentally repeated the last couple of sentences? I think you accidentally like copy and pasted them again, but thats easily fixable!:P

Thank you so much for participating in my challenge, your story was lovely! Good luck, and have a very happy New Year!(:

Cheers, Katie!(:

Author's Response: Hi Katie! First off, sorry that this took AGES for me to respond. I kind of disappeared. It's a bad habit...

But, yes, thank you for the challenge! I love quote challenges. They always manage to make me happeh and inspired and I love challenges and one-shots and quotes and. JUST THANKS.

I feel honored to be your first Snamione. It's one of my faves because it's so implausible you just want it to work. But, you're right, it isn't the easiest ship to work with. I'm glad you think I did okay with it though. -huggles-

The quote actually really worked with the way this story was building in my head. I mean, it was already there but I couldn't find a good catalyst to write it. THEN BOOM, your challenge. ONE-SHOT DONE. So, thanks.. much loves.

Thank you, yes. I made a few edits. That's the hard thing when you're using q10 and not a proper word processor.. It doesn't catch mistakes! I did manage to erase it though, thanks to you.

Anyway, thanks again. Sorry for the late reply.

--Carla


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Review #13, by Rumpelstiltskin Rendezvous

31st December 2013:
Hello!

I'm here for the fifth task of the 12 Days of Reviewing!

Also, I'm so happy that I stopped here because I love Severus Snape! :D

The voice to this story has an eloquent, poetic air about it. I really love it! The beautiful writing in combination with the dueling perspectives (which was brilliant) gave the story a terrific edge.

Now, I've never been an avid Snape/Hermione shipper, but this was just so beautiful that I couldn't help but love every second of it. My issue stemmed from not reading any Snapmione stories that had a fathomable plot of how these two fabulous, very different, characters ended up together.

The way YOU have characterized them, however, and the chemistry that they are demonstrating makes me love this ship (in this story, anyway). Since Severus has had such a rough past, whatever events transpired that has brought he and Hermione together in this is a wonderful occurrence.

This was a fantastic one-shot. I only wish that I was able to see your version of how they were brought together in the fist place, as I believe that you would do a truly fabulous job at it.

Great story!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: RUMPEL!!! A boatload of thank you's for being the first reviewer for my Hermione/Severus story that I am on the fence about.
You love Severus Snape? I love Severus Snape as well. Woo, go us!
Awww. I'm glad you like the voice. It's the one thing I strove hard to do in my stories. Give it an air of something intangible but an air. It's awesome that you picked up on that...
I actually truthfully have a very vague idea how they got together. Actually.. I had the start of it written down (it was my failed NaNo novel)! But I don't know about fabulous. Thanks though, for that.
I'm glad you liked the ship in this story. I've personally been a HUGE lover of the ship (when it's done well, of course!) and I want to write more of them..
Thanks for the awesome review as always, Rumpel. Good luck with the 12 days thing
--Carla


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