Reading Reviews for Thaw
16 Reviews Found

Review #1, by lumos_knox Thaw

17th May 2014:
How absolutely beautiful and powerful this was! I found your story on the Staff's Picks page and there is definitely a reason it is on there. Your use of description, plot-lines and very clever clues really work well for the story. I didn't actually guess it was Lupin until the end, it was probably because I was so wrapped up in this brilliant piece I was reading.

To be honest, I don't know why you say that this is not up to your usual standard. If this, apparently, is your worst, I would absolutely love to see your best!

Thank goodness for your grammar and spell checks; a lot of great stories are ruined by those simple little things.

The plot, and the sadness of it all... mesmerizing. The way Lupin's Mum says "Happy Christmas" makes me feel sort of angry at her because she KNOWS that his Christmas will be absolutely awful. I feel annoyed at Lupin's dad too, constantly saying that it will pass when he KNOWS that it will always come back.

Sorry for my little rant, like everyone, it happens in a good story where we are convinced the characters are real.

All in all, very excellent stuff! Keep up the great work!


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Review #2, by manno_malfoy Thaw

1st March 2014:
Had I know this would be so sombre, I wouldn't have read it with my morning tea. Now I'm just sad. I probably should've guessed from the gorgeous, but painfully lonely opening paragraph, but it was all too beautiful to abandon for a later hour.

I was thinking that it's a really elegant way to go around Remus's transformation, but then he spoke through the keyhole to his mother and my heart just quivered a little. He's still a little boy here, without the support of his friends and without the knowledge that there will be not one, but many people other than his parents who will accept him for who he is.

I admire how you didn't tell us what he was feeling, just what he was doing and how he was behaving, and it was still easy to pick up the idea of what was going on inside him without your having to spell it out. I think it takes an enormous amount of talent to deliver emotions this way, and the use of exactly the right words, which you did perfectly.

I loved every bit of it. I loved how short, but rich and complete it is. I already knew you're a great writer, but most your stories that I've read deal more with humour, so it was a delight to see you write something as heart-wrenching as this.

Well done, you definitely deserve the win, so massive congratulations! :D

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Review #3, by Courtney Dark Thaw

16th February 2014:
Hey there! Thanks for entering the Uncomfortable Challenge!

Wow, this was an amazing one-shot and I have no idea what you mean by 'very rushed and not my usual standard'. If this is your rushed, then I would be very excited indeed to find out what your non-rushed work is like!

I absolutely the flow and the overall feeling of this one-shot. It had this poetic sort of feeling to it and the language you used was spectacular. I'm taking a creating writing class at the moment, and I couldn't help but think that my tutor would absolutely adore this piece.

On the emotions you managed to portray in such a short space of I'm not even really sure how to describe how much this story impacted me, other than to say that it made me feel so bad for Remus, and really made me want to read more about him!

And gah, the imagery you used was so spectacular! As I read the very first line, I automatically knew that this was going to be an incredible read.


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Review #4, by Little_Ghost14 Thaw

10th February 2014:
It didn't seem rushed to me. I loved this insight into one of Remus Lupin's transformations. You conveyed the pain, distress and discomfort of it very well, as well as reminding the readers that this is a life's cycle for him. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! :) ♥

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Review #5, by Tish Thaw

28th January 2014:
It didn't feel rushed at all, just perfectly beautiful. Sad but stoic.

Author's Response: Aww, thanks so much! Stoic is a very fitting word for Remus. ♥

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Review #6, by BenedictPumpkinpatch Thaw

8th January 2014:
Final Writer's Duel review.

"Not my usual standard" That was seemingly an apology. As if this story was going to somehow be sub-standard and that the reader should take that into account.

How very wrong. I have not read anything else by you (that will now change) so I have no point of reference with which to gauge your writing, but I can safely tell you that this is easily one of the best one shots that I have read in a long time.

You have a good command of the language as shown by your choice of words in several places. Your writing is tight and gets the story across to the reader without over complicating the writing. As the story starts we feel sympathy for the lonely wolf as he licks the window panes in his hunt for sustenance, later we realise he is a lycanthrope and he still has our sympathy. Then with a final twist we discover he is a young child. A child that is inflicted with this terrible thing that will continue to haunt him again and again.

You manage to convey feelings without directly mentioning them.. "He nudged a loose pebble into the flowerbed with his toe" This leads the reader to almost see the young boy slowly walking along, his mind elsewhere. This is something that all writers should learn to utilise in their writing. As the quote attributed to Chekov says: Don't tell me the moon is shining. Show me the glint of light on broken glass.

I enjoyed this story. You are a very talented and descriptive writer.

Author's Response: Omg, your penname. Is so good. SO GOOD.

Anyway - thank you so much for your review! Ah, i feel bad for apologising in the a/n now, everyone's been so nice about this fic!! When I wrote it I'd been out of writing for a while, so I felt very rusty. I also speed-wrote it the afternoon I got back from my final Christmas exam, so it felt like I was vomiting stuff into a word document after a month of art history revision.

Thank you so much for this review - you really are too kind! I love that Chekov quote; it's so true. It took me a long time to learn how to show instead of tell, so I'm so pleased it came across here.

Thanks again for your lovely review. I'm very glad you enjoyed it. ♥

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Review #7, by MissesWeasley123 Thaw

7th January 2014:
Right so, um, how is this not up to your usual standard? And if this is rushed, holy crap you're an amazing author. And also, this is for the final day of the 12 Days of reviewing.

Right, so his parents. They loved him, but I could sense the unhappiness and guilt -- not with him necessarily, but with themselves. You just did such a good job with them. It's crazy how this one bite changed their family. They're very distant with him, and yet they love him, but... I hope this makes sense and I'm not being too confusing.

The thing with this piece is that because Remus is such a kind man and such a likable character, it hurts to see him this way, y'know?

You did great with his transformation as well. One of the best parts though have to be the ending where it simply just ends, and there's no sign of hope or anything. It ends on a bitter note, which is sad, but true. We know that he is going to be bitter for a while, before he finally makes friends.

The poor guy's had such a tough life, but you did justice to his flawed being and never showed it for what it wasn't.

Great work, honestly, you definitely deserve the win.

Author's Response: Aaah you guys are too nice!! I've spent a good part of today responding to the glut of unanswered reviews on my page - which I've left for the better part of a year - and I swear I'm close to tears because I've read so many nice things!! And apparently I can't stop abusing question marks!!!

I'm glad you saw the complexity in the Lupin family I tried to communicate here - like, I'm sure they felt guilt, but it also isn't their fault, and they know there's nothing they can do, and I'm sure they /love/ Remus, but there must be a part of them that's disgusted with him, especially around the time of his transformation. So they do so much for him, and most of it seems like token gestures, but there's really nothing they can do but sponge off his wounds and throw him a bone when he's a wolf and -- yeah. Being a product of a dysfunctional family myself, NOTHING seems to please me more than writing about them!

Thanks so, so much for your kind words! ♥ ♥ ♥

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Review #8, by BookDinosaur Thaw

6th January 2014:
Hello! I'm here for the Tenth of the Twelve Days of Reviewing. :)

Ahh, first of all, congrats on winning your prompt and being featured! This story was amazing, I can see why it won this prompt.

Remus is definitely one of my favourite characters in the Harry Potter fandom, and so I'm quite fussy over how he's portrayed, but you did an absolutely fantastic job of characterising and writing him and just gaahh this was so amazing.

Ah, I don't know when I realised that this person who you are writing about was Remus, my eyes were glued to the screen, but I remember thinking that he was an adult and then when he asked for his mother through the keyhole it was just so tragic and I wanted to get into the story and hug him to make him feel better, because no child should ever be put through that kind of awfulness.

I think this line hit me the most of all: The thing about Lycanthropy, however, was that the worst came round again like clockwork. It's just so, so sad and so true. Remus' condition is a constant cycle, something that he'll never ever be able to escape, and he knows that. :( So sad.

Ah, his parents sound like such lovely people! How they still attempt to celebrate Christmas, and how they're there for Remus after the transformation, how his father sat next to him while he vomited and how his mother made salves to treat him - it was so loving and caring it might almost make up for his condition, because most people don't have that happy a family life.

All in all, I really enjoyed reading this and I'm so glad I had the chance to. Congrats again on winning your prompt! :D

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Review #9, by writeyourheartout Thaw

6th January 2014:
Hi Julia! I'm here for Day 10 of the 12 Days of Reviewing challenge on the forums! Plus, special bonus: I've been slowly attempting to review every Writer's Duel entry, so high five for killing two birds with one stone! ^.^

Ah, this was so great!!! I can certainly see why you won your prompt! (Congratulations on that, by the way! So exciting!)

I adore Remus Lupin. He is probably my favorite character in the entire series and I'm very picky about his portrayal. I think you did just an excellent job with him. My heart is so heavy for him here and for all of things he has to go through his entire life due to his lycanthropy. Your writing is beautiful and gripping and so very emotive. I loved this story from start to finish.

"On Christmas morning the wolf breakfasted alone on condensation licked from the windows." - Right from the top you give us this beautifully written yet terribly upsetting line, and it's the perfect way to have begun this piece. It immediately paints this picture for us about how very solitary his condition is; that not even Christmas can free him from this cycle that comes "round again like clockwork." It's just heartbreaking.

When I first started reading this, I had sort of just made the assumption that Remus was an adult in this story, until the moment that took my breath a little bit away and he says "Mum?" Heart shattered. He's so young! And what's worse is that he's already been going through this for so many years now!

"The thing about Lycanthropy, however, was that the worst came round again like clockwork." - I noticed several people who reviewed before me have already pointed this line out, but I have to do it again because it's simply that good. It's a never-ending cycle, as reliable as anything; as sure as death and taxes is Remus' lycanthropy.

I adore the parents you gave him. They are so very kind and gentle and reassuring, doing everything they can to make him feel happy and strong and good and normal. His father's consistent comforting words of "It'll pass" are so sweet and sad and aching to be believed. I always imagined that Remus had some of the loveliest parents a person could hope for and these two were exactly that. You made me not only feel for the struggles that Remus faces, but for his parents as well and how helpless they must feel with only their words and their salves to help him. It's all so tragic.

The ending might as well have killed me it was so heavy! Gorgeously written, of course. It's so upsetting to see Remus at such a young age facing all of these demons, because his condition is not simply physical, but it takes a huge toll on him mentally and you showcase that in such a well-crafted way here.

I don't know what else to say, honestly! It was just such a beautifully constructed story about one of my very favorite characters that showed just how talented of a writer you are. Incredible job. :)

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Review #10, by UnluckyStar57 Thaw

3rd January 2014:
Hello! For the Eighth Day of the Twelve Days of Reviewing, I am reviewing this story! :)

I thought that this was beautiful and sad all at the same time. You captured Lupin as the wolf very well. I saw everything that was happening in vivid detail, which is absolutely brilliant. You painted this marvelous picture in my head in less than 1,500 words!

As for the prompt of family reunions, I liked that this one was very unorthodox. Rather than a family gathering together to celebrate a homecoming for the holidays, this one involves a much more painful sort of reunion. Lupin deserted his human form for a day, only to come back sick and frail. I can't even imagine how much pain he was in, and how terrible his parents felt about it.

This is a remarkable one-shot! I absolutely love it. Good luck in the Duel!


Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for your review - and I'm so sorry it's taken me over a year to respond to it!

Ahh, I'm glad you liked my characterisation of Lupin. He's my favourite character in the series (barring Luna), but I've always been scared to write him because I'm terrified of not doing him justice!

I'm also glad you liked the unorthodox take on the prompt - I personally have always had conflicted feelings about Christmas as a family time, as my parents are divorced and I'm not close to much of my family. I wanted to reflect that ambivalence in my response! My other plan was to write a story from the perspective of Molly about having to cope with such a large and dynamic family, and the sacrifices she has to make as a mother, but I didn't feel like I had the life experience to make it good :P

Thank you so much!! :D ♥ ♥ ♥

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Review #11, by patronus_charm Thaw

29th December 2013:
Aw, Remus to me is what Scorpius is to you, so yay for a Remus one-shot, I practically came skipping over here because he is just wsdfwefo , yeah I should stop Remus fangirling and get on with the review.

This one-shot showed why I loved your writing so much! Even though its description is so detailed and really great, I donít find myself lost in it and skipping lines to get to the story. It still has this appeal to it which makes me want to read it all and have more and more of it unlike with some other authors which have so much I end up drowning in it. This style of writing fitted with Remus really well and the bleak atmosphere of it all.

I loved the two versions of Remus shown in this one-shot with his wolf and human side being shown and the effects one had on the other. I rarely ever see those two parts of him melded together so much in a one-shot, but I really loved it here as it worked so well and really gave me a full picture of who Remus Lupin really was.

This line ĎThe thing about Lycanthropy, however, was that the worst came round again like clockwork.í Was just ♥ It really caught all the pain of Remus and how much he had to suffer from being a werewolf and was generally an amazing line. That entire theme of it coming back around for him worked really well here as we got him doing normal things such as having Christmas but then having to deal with the illness and transformation of being a wolf.

The way you showed he was so young and still a child really was heart-breaking. The interactions between him and his parents were so heart-breaking because I could sense their guilt for causing this and how they could never take it away, yet Remus had somehow been able to accept it.

Ok, you went and broke my heart for the second time in twenty minutes! Lovely writing again, it was another beautiful one-shot and I hope there are more amazing one-shots lurking away there!


Author's Response: Hello again! Ahh, I love how you said that!! Acknowledging that Scorpius is my precious bb. I really hope I did Remus justice for you! He's actually my favourite character in the series (tied with Luna), but I find canon characters that got a lot of attention in the books very hard to write, so I habitually avoid them. Eee, I'm glad the description worked! I enjoy writing it, but I'm always scared of getting bogged down in it!

Thank you again for leaving another wonderful review - I can't believe I left this one so long. You're wonderful, you genuinely are, thank you for saying so many nice things about my story !! ♥ ♥ ♥

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Review #12, by momotwins Thaw

25th December 2013:
"The thing about Lycanthropy, however, was that the worst came round again like clockwork." "Certain darknesses will vanish you, as if the turning of the earth was a spell." Holy crap. Great writing.

This is really well written, both in content and mechanics - your grammar is wonderful, the writing style is very natural, and the story flows beautifully. Really a great piece of writing. I'm very impressed. It's so sad and poignant. And I love how you turn a phrase.

Poor Remus. This is just so miserable for him, and his family tries so hard to make it better, to make it normal. Ack so awful and sad. And well written. Really great job, Merry Christmas!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! :D I'm really glad you liked it (ooh, I'm blushing a bit as I read this). I wrote it after reading about Lupin's life story on Pottermore, which was like the internet equivalent of being kissed by a Dementor. I never thought I'd be happy again. And thus an angsty one-shot was born.

Thanks for the review! ♥

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Review #13, by Wildmoon Thaw

20th December 2013:
Oh my God this is so sad and sweet! It's heartwarming in that it reminds us that Remus does find friends and love later on in his life.

I love the little textural details you put in, like the nausea, and what not. His parents could have so easily abandoned him after he was turned, and you show their devotion to him without getting sickly sweet and sappy. Very nice balance there!

Really enjoyed this, thanks for writing it!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you actually found it heartwarming despite the angst :) I wrote this after reading Lupin's biography on Pottermore, which was so sad it made me want to lie down on the floor for a hundred years whilst I thought about it.

Thank you for the review! :) ♥

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Review #14, by DracoFerret11 Thaw

20th December 2013:
Hello there! This is DarkRose from the forums! I decided to read and review all of the Writer's Duel entries! :D So, let's go over things:

Plot: Wow. This is the first story I've read so far, but this was absolutely lovely. It really blew me away. I loved the theme you chose. It was a really unexpected take on the prompt and really moved me. I felt so bad for Remus. :( You did a great job describing the awkwardness and distance that exists because of Remus's condition. It was really beautiful. Well done.

Characterization: I positively loved your characterization of Remus and his parents. I had never spent much time imagining his home life before he had friends. I liked the moment where readers could feel how overwhelmed he was and he went outside. Really lovely. And when his mom was trying so hard, but it still can't cure him...beautiful.

Descriptions: You did a great job with the details of Remus's transformation, but after that I might have liked more. It would be nice to be able to see, hear, smell, feel, etc. everything else in the story, in order to bring it to life. What you have is really nice though.

Emotions: Wow. I was really sad for Remus. I could feel that awkward tension in his family and was really impressed that that translated so well to the reader. Great job.

Stylistically, this was beautiful. I loved your writing. Great job and good luck in the Duel!


Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for the review :D

Awh, I'm glad you liked it! I actually started a different piece for this prompt and was about 300 words in before I ditched it and started on this - it was about Molly stitching a Christmas table runner and the different generations of her family adding panels to it. But it was too fluffy and happy for me, because I'm fond of my angst, so this happened instead.

Thanks so much! I'll bear what you said about description in mind - I wrote this in a bit of a rush to make the deadline, so it isn't really as developed as I'd like it to be and I'll probably revisit it sometime soon. Thank you for reviewing! ♥

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Review #15, by teh tarik Thaw

20th December 2013:
Lupin's Pottermore biography was indeed soul-crushing and your fic did absolutely nothing to alleviate that :( :( :( In fact, I'm going to bed feeling angsty :(

But honestly, ugh, such a perfect Remus oneshot; you capture all the miserable details of his miserable life so easily, and your opening sentence pretty much got my attention right away, sucked me right into the black hole of angst that is the centre of this fic. On Christmas morning the wolf breakfasted alone on condensation licked from the windows. Sorry I keep saying the word "angst", but that has got to be the angstiest opening sentence I've come across in a very long time!

I loved the parents, Hope and Lyall, the way you wrote them, how gentle they are with Remus and yet there is a general unhappiness about their little family - so sad, seeing how they're forced to live such isolated lives away from other people in order to hide their son's condition, or for general public safety.

He was gazing at the dead remains of that year's clematis when the back door opened; Mum stood on the doorstep, smiling at her twelve-year-old son. The smile did not quite reach her eyes.

'Iím off to bed,' she said. 'Happy Christmas, Remus.'

'Happy Christmas, Mum,' he said.

^ SERIOUSLY WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO ME WITH THIS BIT. I'm on the verge of crying ugh, ugh. That was such a heartbreaking moment, and it's worse because you just know how to go about showing it, how to not say things and just leave them there and generally make everything more depressing :(

Sorry if my review comes off as silly or incoherent. It's incredibly late where I'm at. But honestly, this is such an amazing oneshot, and I think I said this in my last review of another angsty piece of yours, but you really are a master of this genre, and I've been pretty much manipulated into a mess of feels with this little fic of yours.

Absolutely lovely writing, and I'm sure you'll do really well with the Duel. :) ♥


Author's Response: Hi Teh!

Oh my god, tell me about it. After I read it I wanted to just sit and stare into space for a thousand years, mouth open in a silent scream. WHY DO YOU DO THESE THINGS, JKR?

Awh, glad you liked the opening, despite the angst! I literally came up with it by staring at my window for ten minutes and going 'aha!! Condensation!'. The perks and perils of living in a 100 year old building with single glazed Scotland.

Teh, this isn't incoherent or silly at all! It's a wonderful review (you're good at that, leaving wonderful reviews). Thank you so so much (and I'm sorry I unleashed the feels) ♥ ♥ ♥

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Review #16, by MargaretLane Thaw

20th December 2013:
I liked it. I did notice it seemed a bit rushed all right, but the general idea is good and I like the insight into lycanthropy.

My favourite line is the part about how the worst always comes around again with lycanthropy.

Really enjoyed it. I must take a look at the rest of your work.

I also really like the description of how he feels when he comes back to himself.

I actually wrote a somewhat similar story for a challenge recently; not about Remus though.

Author's Response: Hiya, thank you so much for your review! :D aah, I did type this out in a few hours flat the day of the deadline - I really wish I'd had a bit more time to work on it, but I was absolutely determined I'd enter the duel with /something/. I'm glad you enjoyed it, though! ♥

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