52 Reviews Found

Review #1, by UnluckyStar57 Counting Stars

16th April 2014:
Hello! I remembered reading the first chapter of this story at the beginning of the year and I thought I would come back for more! :)

Ooh, different perspective! And it looks like Molly's going to be stuck with him for a few months as she travels around the world with him... Well, she wanted adventure, so that's what she's going to get, right?! :D

Heath is quite a character! Molly will have her hands full while trying to look after him--she'll have to keep him from falling off pyramids and such, hahaha. I love his friendship dynamic with Raj--Raj is so cool and I feel like he rolls his eyes at Heath a lot. :)

Hm. Heath is one of those journalist types... He has a rich father in America who wants him to take over the family business... He's DEFINITELY Agatha Painsley-Bumbershuffle's fiance--'scuse me, I meant EX-fiance! So little does Molly know that she's going to go on a journey with a "perfect" fiance, as he was described in the last chapter, which I reread before reading this one so that I could remember what was going on. :)

I love your style of writing so much! I hope that chapter 5 is coming easily for you, and I also hope that you update Not Normal soon! :D

~UnluckyStar57

For the Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza.

Author's Response: Bonjour! Welcome back!

Yes! Different perspective! I love Heath too much not to write from his point of view. No one would like him as much as I do if we only ever saw him from Molly's viewpoint. And Heath has so much adventure packed into his person, that Molly didn't even really need to go off around the world for a little taste of excitement. The poor thing has no idea what she's in for :P

I hope people warm up to Heath the way I did. He's really quite adorable once you get to know him. And there's a spin-off story on Raj in the pipeworks, so there's that to look forward to!

OMG. YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON TO GET THAT. I thought I was being really obvious about it, but then NO ONE MENTIONED IT. So then I thought I was being really sneaky about it. So shh! Don't tell anyone ;)

Chapter 5 is on the way! Hopefully it will arrive soon! And the next chapter of Not Normal is halfway there! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing :)


 Report Review

Review #2, by AlexFan Take It Easy

25th March 2014:
Ah yes, more Heath and Molly banter, how I love me some Heath and Molly banter, heck yeah. One second the two of them are about to jump at each other's throats and the next second they're best friends. You can just see the fondness that's coming from Heath the longer he spends with Molly.

Speaking of Molly, you go girl! You show off those awesome math skills of yours and rub them in Heath's face why don't you! I love how he's so shocked about it as well. "People can do calculations that fast what is this!?"

But anyway, this was brilliant as usual and I can't wait to find out what Molly and Heath are going to do next and what shenanigans they're going to be up to.

Author's Response: Heath and Molly banter is the best kind of banter, let's be real. I think Heath is far more open to liking other people than Molly. Molly isn't cut out to like other people that quickly!

I actually love writing Molly. There's nothing really smug or pretentious about her. She knows what she's good at and what she's not and she's very unapologetic about it.

I laugh every time I think about the Paris chapter! These two are in for quite the shock!


 Report Review

Review #3, by AlexFan Uncharted

24th March 2014:
I love the difference between Heath and Molly. Molly is sort of strict and straight-forward and she's a no nonsense type of girl, he is just the complete opposite of that. I love how Heath's so confused around London. Molly is all "of course I know where all of these things are I visited them daily when I went to school" and she's just so I'm impressed with Heath and his plans for traveling. Her reaction to finding out that they're going to Stonehenge first is so hilarious because she's just so bored, she was expecting this great adventure and instead what she gets is Stonehenge as their first visit. Heath on the other hand is so excited for it because he's never traveled before you so he completely ignores Molly's "are you serious" attitude right now.

Molly is this sarcastic and almost a serious person, and Heath is this little boy in a candy store. The contrast between the two of them is really great and it just makes the story about 10 times more hilarious because of that.

That Beards and Sandals guy is one heck of a character though. I mean I have never come across a character like that in fanfiction before so it was nice to get some new personalities into the story. Molly however does not seem to agree with that because she was just so done the entire time. You could feel her disdain and how incredulous she found everything that he was saying through the chapter and I think that's really great because you don't always get the feeling of what the character is feeling in the story so well done on that.

But anyway I really enjoyed the chapter and awesome job on it.

Author's Response: I love writing the dynamic between Heath and Molly. They're similar and different in just the right ways and that makes for a lot of fun. Heath at Kings Cross is like the best thing ever. He's sort of trying to get things done so as not to look like a complete noob in front of Molly, but he's just so confused about all things British!

Molly's reaction to travel is a normal reaction, I think. Travelling is great and you come back with these great memories, but not every moment is filled with awesomeness and adventure.

Socks and Sandals is one of my fave characters of all time, I think. I adored writing him as this hippie surfer dude who is actually quite intelligent and a little clairvoyant because he can. Molly is like the teenager who is perpetually angry at the world. I love her so much for it!

Thanks so much for reading!


 Report Review

Review #4, by ShadowRose Take It Easy

16th March 2014:
Hello again!

So I don't quite know what you're talking about when you say this chapter wasn't funny, because I thought it was really hilarious!

Poor Heath, breaking his arm and then passing out in front of Molly. I felt bad for him as he tried to be manly but was almost beaten at that by Molly, who's trained in all these situations and remained perfectly calm about everything while Heath is freaking out. I love how this kind of flips the cliche - usually the guy rescues the girl, whereas here it's pretty much the exact opposite.

I love Molly and Heath's banter, since it's gotten a lot friendlier as the story has progressed. They have totally different personalities, yet they get along so well and play off of one another perfectly.

When Heath asked "what's worse than dying," I wanted noting more than for Hermione to pop out and say "expelled!" because that scene came into my mind and I couldn't get it to go away. Of course, it's probably a good thing that didn't happen, because it really wouldn't have fit with the story, but it stuck in my mind nonetheless.

Of course, my favourite line hands down was "If you Americans hadn't thrown yours in the harbour, you'd know." That was so perfect and Molly's just so sassy and smart, and it's just really great.

I've really enjoyed reading this so far, and I hope you update it soon, as I'll have to come back for the next chapter!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 20/20 on opposite house)

Author's Response: I'm glad you found it funny!

I loved writing Heath at the beginning of this chapter. He's just trying to maintain his reputation, but Molly just doesn't have time for that kind of stuff. She's too efficient by half :P I couldn't really see the "typical" scenario happening, simply because the main reason Molly is along is for stuff like this. She's trained. He isn't.

The banter was a lot friendlier in this one! I was worried about progressing their relationship too fast, but there's going to be plenty of opportunities for antagonism! *cackles evilly*

Writing that scene where Heath asks what's worse than dying, I actually wrote down Hermione instead of Molly in my first draft - the importance of editing!

Molly is just lovely to write. She's everything I aspire to be in terms of sass. If only I could say some of the things she says...

Thanks so much for the reviews! And congratulations for winning the Blackout Battle!


 Report Review

Review #5, by ShadowRose Uncharted

16th March 2014:
And I'm back again for another chapter!

I completely sympathise with Molly in the start of this chapter. People who are running late are absolutely the death of me, and even more so when they're in their own house! Well, at least she got to appreciate Raj's off-key singing while she waited. :P he's adorable and I really like him - I know they're leaving and all but I really hope he still shows up later in the story. "Raj the wannabe soprano" - that's great.

It's good that Molly at least recognises that Heath doesn't deserve the anger she's directed at him, but can't help but dislike him nonetheless. I still can't believe they had to go through training camp in a skirt and heels - I definitely wouldn't have enough grace for that!

Their tour guide is so weird, but so entertaining. He seems a bit like Trelawney, but replacing all of her phrases about death and despair with words like "rad" and "awesome." I feel so embarrassed for Molly, having this strange guy talk about her "aura" as she's surrounded by other people, and even bringing up her partner in this journey, which I'm assuming is a reference to Heath, in both the travel way and ... maybe something more?

This method of travel is really strange, and I have the feeling that because they said, "what else could go wrong," they'll end up in Antarctica or something completely off the wall like that. Oh well, I guess I'll have to wait for the next chapter to find out!

This was another really great chapter, and I'm looking forward to reading the next one!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 19/20 on opposite house)

Author's Response: Back again! *throws confetti*

I hate late people too! Once or twice is understandable, but you know the people who are late all the time - one of the reasons I go insane. Raj is adorable. He's such a dork sometimes. I don't really know if we'll get to see him again here - the chances are very high, though! I love him too much to abandon him.

Her dislike stems from the fact that they're still practically strangers. They just don't know each other. However time will tell if she ever gets over her dislike for him... I don't know how she managed to navigate an obstacle course in a short skirt and heels. She's obviously top Auror material!

Haha! I'd never really thought of Socks and Sandals like Trelawney, but now that you mention it, I can see the similarities. He'd be like her happier hippie twin or something! I'd be pretty embarrassed with someone talking about my aura too. She handles herself well though, in typical Molly style. And we'll just have to wait and see if Heath ever becomes something more than a travel buddy... It's early days yet :P

Whenever someone says "what could possibly go wrong?" Always expect the world to end. Molly seems to have the right idea with being a little distrustful of the rocks. I'd run screaming in the opposite direction personally.

Thanks for the lovely review!


 Report Review

Review #6, by ShadowRose Counting Stars

16th March 2014:
Hello! I'm back again for chapter 2!

I love the switch in point-of-view - I wasn't expecting it, but it's great to see the story from a second pair of eyes. I do like Heath as well, he seems similar to Molly, in that they're both in the pursuit of happiness, but they've also got some different traits as well. I feel like Heath is much better at adapting to situations and taking life as it comes, and Molly's a little better with self-control. This trip should be good for them - maybe they'll rub off on one another.

I still really like Molly - she's definitely a powerful force and she's got a lot of passion and fire, but she also knows that maybe Dennis Creevey isn't the best person to fight with on the matter.

Speaking of which, your characterization of Dennis Creevey is probably the best thing ever. He was such a tiny little thing in the series, so the fact that he grew up into a monstrous man with a voice that resembles an avalanche is just too funny. I can definitely see why both Molly and Heath were intimidated by him, though.

Raj is a great character too - he cracks me up! He's got a bit of a motherly streak, but he also let's Heath make some of his own mistakes - although I guess in this case there wasn't too much of a mistake since Heath ended up finishing his article.

Overall, another really great chapter and I enjoyed reading it!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 18/20 on opposite house)

Author's Response: Woohoo! Chapter two!

I try to try something different with each WIP I write, and switching POVs every chapter was one of those things for this one. I'm glad you thought it worked - and also that it was unexpected. I'm not really used to writing "unexpected" things! You're right in saying that Heat and Molly come from the same sort of place, but yes, they do go about it in different ways. It makes for an interesting dynamic, for sure.

Haha! Maybe Molly doesn't realise how tactful she can be - backing off from a fight with Dennis Creevey seemed like a pretty tactful move to me!

Puberty is funny like that. I really wanted t write Dennis in a way that we might not expect to see him. It made sense that he'd go into the Auror office, and enough time has passed that it was plausible that he was in charge of training new Aurors. Making him a talking mountain was just too good an opportunity to pass up!

Raj probably has a little story to tell, I think. He's been surprisingly popular, and so there's an idea or two floating around in my head now!

Thanks for reading!


 Report Review

Review #7, by ShadowRose King of Anything

16th March 2014:
Hi! This story caught my eye so I figured is swing by and review it for Blackout Battle!

I really like that this story is Molly II-centric. Of all the next-gen characters, I feel like she's the least written about, but she has so much potential. I really love how you've written her too - she doesn't want to fall into that rut of a "perfect life" and wants to experience life fully instead of going through it checking off little tasks along the way, when if that means breaking out of the shell she's lived in for her whole life. She's also emotional and emphatic, which definitely shows she's inherited something from her mother, but she's not always tactful, as illustrated by the dinner, which really makes her a believable character who's fun to read about. She's by no means perfect, and that's what makes her so great.

I'm go glad she got away from her boyfriend - he sounds like a bore! Actually, he sounds a bit like a pre-Deathly Hallows Percy (read, pompous and obnoxious), but I guess they equate to the same thing! Her parents are great too - they're still obsessed with this idea of Molly having a "perfect life," but at least Percy's a little more laid back about it, which shows he's changed a bit for the better since the series ended. I also love the little tidbit about them eloping - it's so funny and completely against Percy's personality, which makes it so much better! I'd love to see a story about that *hint hint one-shot maybe?*. Also, you win for best last name -
Paisley-Bumbershuffle is hilarious!

I think you've incorporated the quite really well into this story - it's definitely a strong theme in this chapter, and I think it makes a great point about Molly needing to love herself and follow her heart.

I'm excited to see where this story goes - it's off to a great start!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 17/20 on opposite house)

Author's Response: Hello!

She really is not written that often, and I find that really strange because being Percy's daughter allows you to take her in so many different directions. I wanted to write her as "normal", which is a refreshing change from my other OCs. She has normal pressures to succeed and be a certain way, and she doesn't want that. And I loved writing that dinner scene! She doesn't quite realise how much like her mother she can be, and her tactlessness is almost definitely from Percy! It's kind of scary how much like our parents we can be!

Her boyfriend is a bore. And yeah, he is a lot like Percy pre-Deathly Hallows. Definitely another reason to get away from him! Percy and Audrey are a lot of fun to write, because is think they're a lot like other parents who want the best for their child but things get lost in translation between parent and child. And there's definitely a story in Percy and Audrey's past! Maybe someday...

Thanks so much for this wonderful review!


 Report Review

Review #8, by nott theodore Take It Easy

14th March 2014:
Hi again! I'm actually quite sad that this is the last chapter you've posted so far, because I want to be able to read more of your story!

The beginning of this chapter was really effective after the content of the last one. It seemed really contrasted and I loved your description as you wrote about the type of travel and the two of them falling to the ground.

Haha, Heath made me laugh so much. I really enjoyed reading things more from his perspective in this chapter, and seeing how pathetic he was when he broke his arm. (I'm with him, I have an awful pain threshold.) And then Molly was so practical about the whole situation, which seemed in character with what we've learnt about her so far and also what she explained about the Auror training. It was nice seeing her in the role that is the practical, sensible one - she actually reminded me a bit of Hermione in this chapter, and one of her lines was very similar to one from the first book :P

Oh, poor Heath! Fainting, that must be embarrassing for him! Luckily Molly didn't take too much notice!

I liked the description about the stones at Carnac, and the differences once again in what people have learnt according to where they come from. It all felt very realistic. I really like Molly, too - she's pretty awesome, being able to do all of those things, and I don't blame Heath for admiring her. I think that could turn into something more quite soon, especially with a trip to Paris coming up...

Sian :)

Blackout Bingo review 11/20

Author's Response: More chapters will definitely come... Eventually. I just don't know when right now :(

Heath is actually the most adorable thing ever. I reckon his reactions are what everyone's reactions are on the inside when they're trying to put up a brave front. My pain threshold is practically negative, so I'd probably be lying there rolling around on the ground and crying like Draco when he was "attacked" by Buckbeak in the third film.

Molly is really, REALLY efficient. Ain't nobody got time for fear and panic in her book! I should change the title of this story to "Molly Is a Boss and Heath Is Pathetic"!

And yes, I really don't help stamp out any shipping rumours between these two with the next chapter!


 Report Review

Review #9, by nott theodore Uncharted

14th March 2014:
Hi there, back again! I'm really enjoying the chance to read this story for the Blackout Bingo!

Haha, I loved the way that you started writing this chapter, with Molly waiting for Heath and being assaulted by Raj's awful singing! I felt a bit sorry for Heath there, actually, because he seemed really prepared to be friendly and nice to Molly, but she was all grumpy and rejected his niceness. I think she's going to have to change and develop a lot in this story, especially if the rest of this chapter is anything to go by!

Oh my goodness, I can't even believe that you wrote about the first Molly Weasley as a hippy! The images I now have in my head from that are absolutely hilarious, and the whole chapter was full of funny moments which made me laugh (cue awkward moments because I'm reading this in public).

I loved the fact that they started off the journey at Stonehenge, and that you picked up on the culture differences between Heath and Molly. But the descriptions were brilliant, especially if you've never been there before! The hippy guy that showed them around was fantastic and made me laugh so much but I was really intrigued about what he said about the two of them being partners - does it mean romantically? :P

Then there's the fact that Stonehenge is just this giant portal, so I'm excited about where they'll end up. And then there's the fact they don't seem to be using traditional magical travel which is really cool!

Sian :)

Blackout Bingo review 10/20

Author's Response: I'm a bad singer and therefor Raj too is a bad singer. Poor Raj, having his author's more terrible qualities pushed upon him! Heath's just really chill and then he meets Molly who basically hates the world right now and he doesn't really know what to do with that. It makes for an interesting dynamic.

Wouldn't it be totally awesome if the first Molly Weasley was a hippie, though? Totally awesome, and you can see how her romance with Arthur might be influenced by that!

I'm really bad with description, so that you thought that it was done well means a lot to me! And who knows with these two if it's going to be romantic or not? ;P

In my head, Stonehenge can be nothing but an ancient transportation device. That is the only reason one would build a circle of stones in the middle of the English countryside! No one else can convince me otherwise!


 Report Review

Review #10, by nott theodore Counting Stars

14th March 2014:
Hello! I really enjoyed reading the first chapter of this so I couldn't resist coming back for the second chapter too.

I really liked the way that you changed the point of view for this chapter of the story. I wasn't expecting it to switch from Molly since she's the title character, but I was surprised by how well it worked and impressed with how quickly you helped the reader get a handle on a new character. As before, your writing was of a high standard - your editing is great and I didn't spot any mistakes.

Heath seems quite similar to Molly in some ways; he's obviously frustrated with certain areas of his life and the move he made (for his career?) hasn't been as great as he thought it would be. It was great to see some similarities between them so early on, because it helped me to relate to Heath a bit more. Molly seems more serious about her work though, and I can't imagine her relying on other people like that.

The second part of the chapter was really fun to read. The confrontation between them was brilliantly written and I loved seeing some fire in Molly. This trip is definitely going to be interesting for the two of them - it looks like Molly's life is going to change much more than she hoped!

Sian :)

Blackout Bingo review 9/20

Author's Response: I love changing points of view when I'm writing simply because I get a little bored writing from one character's point of view all the time. I decided to do something a little more structured for this story since my last stab at changing points of view is crazy.

Heath and Molly really are two sides of the same coin, which is really cool to write because they approach the same situation from really different directions despite having many of the same frustrations.

This trip is definitely going to be a blast - hopefully metaphorically, but knowing Heath like I do, probably not ;P


 Report Review

Review #11, by maraudertimes Take It Easy

13th March 2014:
Bonjour, bonjour!

I have returned, much to my delight, and found that this chapter was awesome! I absolutely loved the start, when Heath is thinking about how silence actually can be deafening. It was cool to sort of get inside his head and see exactly what Heath thinks about. It was also kind of sweet to know that his tether was Molly (do I detect a little bit of romance blooming between these too?).

And what happened after was so sweet and cute (and also scary) too! Having Molly fix Heath's broken arm was really cool, since usually it's guys who end up helping girls, and the fact that he passed out was pretty funny (to me at least). I really loved that she's such a busybody and set up camp while he was (probably) drooling. It really shows how dedicated Molly is at doing a job well.

I loved the tea part! It was just so cute and I can definitely see a budding romance, especially after her wrote about it in his notebook! I think my absolute favourite part about the tea talk was when Molly hinted at the Boston Tea Party and throwing tea in the harbour. I think that historical detail really made the moment and it was a really good way to insert some comic relief (something you never lack).

And then her figuring everything out and him being so amazed by it? Can they just hold hands? I really want that to happen, and soon!

Anyways, this was a great chapter, and update soon, will you? I absolutely love Heath and Molly, and hopefully they get reunited with Raj and Socks and Sandals at some point, but I guess we'll see where you take this!

Great job!
Lo:)

Gryffindor vs Slytherin Blackout Battle Round 3 Review 4/20

Author's Response: Bonjour, mon amie! Bienvenue a la France!

I wasn't so confident about posting this chapter. It didn't feel as funny or developmental as the others so far, but I must admit that I had a lot of fun scouring Lonely Planet info pages and blog posts trying to figure out how to get from Carnac to Paris!

Heath is adorable here and his tether being Molly - that's the thing about how they form relationships I was talking about in my response to chapter three. There may or may not be a budding romance... Who really knows with these two? ;)

You know it's really strange, but despite the number of things in popular media where the guy is the one who gets things done and fixes and protects - and being very aware of this - I didn't even consider for a second those roles for Heath and Molly. It's so obvious to me that Heath is incapable of looking after himself, and Molly is overly capable of looking after herself. These roles felt a lot more natural. I'm glad it came over well, though!

The Boston Tea Party reference is probably my favourite line in this chapter - I cackled way too hard at this really inconsequential mention of American history!

Since Paris is the next chapter - the things I have planned for the next chapter really don't help the people who don't ship these two. There may even be hand holding and cuddling! Much excitement!

Thanks so much for this lovely set of reviews! Totally made my entire week!


 Report Review

Review #12, by maraudertimes Uncharted

13th March 2014:
Hi again!

I am back to revel in the awesomeness that is this story! Okay first, I still love Raj. It's not his fault he's slightly off-key! And anyways, how would Molly know it's off-key if he's not even singing in English, huh? Explain me that! Okay, he's off-key, I just wanted to feel better about my singing. :P

This chapter was great and I loved the dynamic between Molly and Heath. The fact that Molly double and even triple checks some things, and that she has to pair up with someone who is perpetually late and has probably forgotten a dozen things, is really interesting and I'm so excited to see where this goes!

I adore Socks and Sandals. I adore him just slightly less than Raj, but I adore him nonetheless. I think you've perfectly captured the naturalist/hippie/slightly crazy/surprisingly smart personality in a tour guide, which makes him even more rad, dude! (How's that for an impersonation?)

Also, the little tour that Socks and Sandals took them on sounds uber cool and I wish I could go on a tour like that, where the wind all but stops and time passes by too quickly to notice.

It was really cool to see Heath and Molly quasi-working together, or more aptly, Molly isn't constantly at Heath's throat. And then to see Heath make Molly take a risk like taking that port-key like that? It's really cool to see such perfect character growth, since Molly seems to listen to Heath and try something new, even though she's really scared.

I just really loved this chapter. Great job, I'm off to read the next!
Lo:)

Gryffindor vs Slytherin Blackout Battle Round 3 Review 3/20

Author's Response: Raj continues to be amazing. I don't know when we'll see him again... In this story, but he almost definitely will get a companion piece. He's just too wonderful to waste as a secondary character!

Writing the dynamic between Heath and Molly has been interesting. They're two complete strangers who've suddenly been forced into intimate company for an extended period of time. They still don't know if they even like each other or not but they're getting there.

Socks and Sandals came to me in a rare moment of inspiration and he was just too awesome not to write down immediately! I love writing him - even the craziest of caricatures have hidden depths!

I really really want to go to Stonehenge myself and see how much I got right and wrong. Maybe one day...

Their relationship is still in its infancy but the way they form attachments reveals a lot about their characters, as you shall see in future chapters!

Thanks so much!


 Report Review

Review #13, by maraudertimes Counting Stars

13th March 2014:
Hi!

Well, I absolutely love Heath, just as much as I love Molly. Heath just seems so... carefree. I think he could teach Molly quite a bit on that front. But I think Molly could also teach him a little bit considering his, ah, well let's just say his ability to party a little bit *too* hard. I think she could be a really good asset as a chaperon.

It's a little sad to see that Heath broke off an engagement with little remorse. I'd like to see exactly why, since he seems so nonchalant about it now, so hopefully it's in the chapters to come. I'm sure he has his reasons though, although if not, you've certainly developed a wonderful character with quite a few flaws (which is great and I applaud you for such a three-dimensional character).

Ooh, Raj! Can I just say I utterly adore him? He's like a little bunny I just want to keep. I love his patience and matronly attitude towards Heath, but also that he doesn't govern his friend's life and lets him mess up and have to deal with the consequences sometimes (even though this time Heath actually managed to finish the article, so I guess no actual consequences this time). I also love how he can do the eyebrow thing (along with Molly).

And Dennis Creevey! Little bitty Dennis is now a mountain with a voice so powerful he can silence an entire room! I loved those little details and your characterization of him is one of my favourite things... ever!

This was a great chapter and I'm so excited to read on. Your premise is strong and interesting, your character are amazingly developed, your writing style (as usual) has me hooked, and I'm just very much in love with this.

Great job!
Lo:)

Gryffindor vs Slytherin Blackout Battle Round 3 Review /20

Author's Response: Heath is an absolute joy to write. He's very different to any other character I've written. You're right in saying that he's carefree, but there's also this other quality to him that makes him more adorable than your average carefree dude. And we all know that Molly's going to end up as his chaperone! This bloke really can't look after himself soemtimes!

More about Heath's fiancée shall definitely be revealed. I don't know how you'll feel about her, but I think there'll be some surprise and then some "of course. Who else?"

Raj is surprisingly vey popular. I was not expecting that. Obviously he has a bright future ahead of him in a fic! I have a few ideas already... And I just realised that all my main female leads can do the eyebrow thing, which is really strange, because I can't.

I loved giving Dennis the ultimate puberty! It was so much fun yet slightly heartbreaking writing him this way. But oddly fitting at the same time.

I'm glad you enjoyed this little story of mine!


 Report Review

Review #14, by nott theodore King of Anything

13th March 2014:
Hello! I'm here reviewing stories for the Blackout Bingo! I've seen this story mentioned round the forums a few times and thought now would be a good time to check it out :)

Ah, I love Molly II! She's so underwritten generally in next generation and so naturally I love her for that, and it's always great to see how different people choose to interpret her character. I really liked the way that you opened this story, with the quote and with something dramatic happening, because it made me really want to read on and find out what was going on.

I loved Molly's thought process, too. You write so well from first person! She seemed almost detached while her boyfriend was breaking up with her, as if it didn't really matter, since she was thinking of so many other things. It sounds to me like she's better off without him!

Her parents reactions were brilliant! I like the fact that she generally seemed to get on with her parents, rather than there being a lot of problems between them. Audrey was hilarious, going on about her body clock ticking when she's twenty, and I loved Percy's reaction to that as well, shrugging his shoulders because he knows he can't do anything about his wife.

I'm really intrigued to see what Molly's going to do about changing her life - it's exciting to think of where she might go and how much it will affect her!

Sian :)

Blackout Bingo review 8/20

Author's Response: All my shameless advertising is working! Muhahaha!

She really is an under-appreciated character and I have no idea why, because the way I picture her in my head, she's very relatable. I've been wanting to write her for a while and I've finally found the perfect story for her and that makes me really happy!

She is quite detached in the breakup scene. She just doesn't feel connected to her boyfriend and the direction her life is taking anymore. I get like that sometimes, and I feel as if other people also get like that too. Her story in many ways is everyone's story.

Yeah, I wanted to write a realistic parental relationship. We like to think that our relationship with our folks is very black and white, but in actuality, it's a lot more complicated than that, even if you generally get along with them. I'm glad that it came across!

Molly's in for a crazy ride! Thanks for reading!


 Report Review

Review #15, by marauderfan King of Anything

12th March 2014:
Review tag!

I like this chapter a lot, it looks like the beginning to a great story! You are really great with internal monologues, and this is no exception. I like Molly so far, there is a lot of personality evident in just one chapter and it's great.

What a dull breakup speech, I don't blame her for letting her mind wander during it. Or for breaking up with the guy, haha. He sounds so boring. Good for you Molly, be empowered! Change your life! :D

Agatha Painsley-Bumbershuffle hahaha. She has a too-perfect life (blech) but I guess it makes up for her name. I love the name just because its so absurd hehe

also, the dinner conversation. Percy was hilariously awkward, Audrey hilariously dramatic. I don't blame Molly for being nervous about bringing it up! The part about her eloquent potions essays made me laugh. What a dinner... Her and her metaphors, while her Dad stabs his food silently and her Mum worries that she hasn't found her soulmate when she's twenty. So silly... yet still, not too silly to be unrealistic haha!

sorry, I think this review is just rambling - its kind of late - but I wanted to say that I loved it and your characters are fantastic - as always!

Author's Response: Heya! So lovely to hear from you again :)

Molly is just so fantastic to write. Sometimes I wonder if it's a little worrying how easily she comes to me and translates onto the page, but that's half her charm.

Her boyfriend needs some lessons in excitement for sure! He didn't even try and make an effort into giving a meaningful and heartfelt break up speech - definitely not worth Molly's time!

Agatha has been one of my favourite characters to write! We only get to see her through the eyes of Molly but she's just so fantastic.

I loved writing the marital dynamic between Percy and Audrey. Marrying someone like Audrey would be the first and last reckless and exciting thing he does in his life because let's be real, marriage to a person like Audrey is excitement enough.

Thanks so much for this lovely review!


 Report Review

Review #16, by Pixileanin Take It Easy

2nd March 2014:
That's the strange thing about silence. I've often wondered about that. How can silence be deafening, so loud, that you just want some kind of noise to break it apart?

I love how you described the magic of the transportation. It was sort of like Apparition, sort of like a portkey, but you made it your own thing too. I commend you for not taking the easy way out with this. Exciting embellishments all around!

So Molly's skills DO come in handy, and it's on the second day? Or is it still the first? There was night, so I'll call it the second. Well, that was longer than I expected. Haha!

The little digs still continue, "If you Americans hadn't thrown yours in the harbour, you'd know..." That made me laugh out loud. Indeed.

Oh, but what if Beard and Socks and Sandals had put a spell on him to do this thing??? Is HE the culprit!?? I am so suspicious. ;) I really like how Molly is so matter-of-fact in all of this. She's been trained for scenarios like this, and the fact that she doesn't fall apart shows us her inner strength. She may be rubbish at expressing herself, but I think in this case, it's to her favor. AND she shows her maths skillz! Molly rocks!

I know from the Five Elements Challenge, that using all three instances of the spell given was one of the hardest things to incorporate into the story without being all "LOOK! I have used this spell THREE TIMES!!" Hahah! Does this mean that Heath will be breaking a lot of bones in this story, because that would be sad and hilarious and OUCH all at the same time.

Hey, things don't always have to be funny. I liked this chapter just as well. There was cool stuff going on. Good luck with all of your challenges!

Author's Response: It's like being underwater, that kind of silence. I find it to be really oppressive.

I'm glad you liked the description of the transportation. I wanted it to be a little dangerous and mildly uncomfortable - it was built in the Bronze Age after all.

There's more to Molly than a desire to change her life and making a boss cup of tea. And It's so sad the Americans will never know what you're missing out on... (I'm not British, but tea is still part of cultural DNA).

Beard and Sandals is not the culprit - all Heath. He has an insatiable thirst for doing the mildly dangerous and incredibly stupid. And yeah, I didn't want to write Molly as being incapable of everything. She's trying to find her way in life, but it still doesn't negate the fact that she's survived more than two years of gruelling Auror training.

Yes. Heath is going to have a lot of broken bones. I'm so sad that I Didn't finish this story in time for the challenge, but I'm still going to include all the elements in later chapters. I will complete this challenge if it kills me! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing - especially since you did all four! Wowee!


 Report Review

Review #17, by Pixileanin Uncharted

2nd March 2014:
Oh gosh! A late Heath in his own home! Never mind that I can sometimes resemble that... *hides* The singing on the loo was crazy funny, as were all of the reasons that Molly decided to agree to this trip. Wait. SEVENTY DAYS??? That's a looong time.

Those little details of yours are absolutely adorable. An obstacle course in a short skirt?? You've got to be kidding me! At least we know she's been trained well. I hope she doesn't have to use it all up on their first day out.

"Raj the wannabe soprano". Snort.

You wrote the banter between these two really well. I can see that they're trying to get to know each other while pretending not to enjoy it. Very funny! Though you do bring up valid points about Salem and the Sorting Hat. Too true! And the bit with the chocolate frogs... eww! But a great way to make more connections. :)

Ahhh, Agatha - insidiously creeping into Molly's head to push her onwards towards adventure with chocolate frog man! Excellent!

Socks and Sandals had me in stitches! Where do you find your ideas for these absurd caricature characters?? And then something happens. Inside Stonehenge! Mysterious predictions! (Does Heath have a Silver Dragon tattoo hidden somewhere?)

And three elements already! And another chapter!

Author's Response: I hate people who are running late in their own house! I don't understand how that can happen. Maybe it's a case of "the closer you are to your destination, the later you'll be". And seventy days is a really long time. I've set myself up for the long haul.

The obstacle course was so sexist. I could feel my inner feminist getting enraged as I wrote the scene.

Raj is in fact a marvellous tenor. Molly is obviously tone deaf. I hate people talking trash about my baby Raj.

... I'm WAY too attached to Raj :P

I loved taking the opportunity to poke a little fun at the wizarding world in that conversation between Molly and Heath. And that chocolate frog scene was my attempt at writing something better suited to a book for twelve year olds. It was too much fun, which meant it worked for me!

Socks and Sandals came to me in a rare moment of inspiration. He was perfect for what I wanted him to do. His stereotype makes it even less likely for anyone to believe that Stonehenge is a giant transportation device. And yes - about that silver dragon...


 Report Review

Review #18, by Pixileanin Counting Stars

2nd March 2014:
I love how you start us off with a fresh character straight away! This is obviously the guy we need to keep our eyes on, yeah? He seems like he's not in a very happy place either. Ahh, I'd be so afraid to read that article now... did he really write it half-sloshed?

I'm also loving how you're bringing in some of our well-loved canon characters as adults into this Next-Gen world. I think that's what I miss the most when I read Next Gen - I mean, I know that the main characters are generally the younger, active people, but what happened to all those other people that have grown up? Dennis' appearance was great here.

Oh no! He thinks her hair is on fire! This cannot be a good start.

"Heath's gaze wandered back down towards her face, only to be arrested by a rather aggressive stare form a pair of hazel eyes."

Maybe it's better than I thought. Err... okay, I take that back. Molly's being roped into something she knows very little about. I'm sure she'll take that well... not. Haha!

Heath seems like the overly

Author's Response: Heath is one of my all time favourite characters to write. He's just so adorably... Adorable. And Heath is DEFINITELY the man. He's in a very similar situation to Molly, but they're two different people who don't quite realise that. It causes some conflict, as can be expected. And I don't even want to think about that article. Can you imagine the grammar?

I couldn't resist bring Dennis Creevey into this! And writing him as almost a different person was wonderful but also heartbreaking at the same time because life changes you and it hurts you sometimes in the process.

Fiery hair = good start. Hair on fire? Not so much. ;)

It's actually strange the way she handles this little adventure. But more on that later...


 Report Review

Review #19, by Pixileanin King of Anything

2nd March 2014:
Hi there! RANDOM REVIEW!!!

Actually, I'm checking out the Five Elements Challenge entries, because it's a great challenge and I'm curious to see how you incorporated everything. Mine were all so random! Haha! Oooh! And I see that you combined a bunch of challenges too! Awesome!

Poor Molly! Bad coffee, bad company, the worst cliche' break-up speech in the history of break-up speeches... There's nothing like an annoying person from your past spouting ridiculous notions to wake you up to reality. Though this Agatha seems like a crazed, over-the-top "my life is perfect" character. I bet her life isn't as perfect as she's making it out to be. Oh, but she is SOOO entertaining!

I love how Molly has resolve for all of three seconds, and then she crumbles. It's so realistic though, because change is hard, even when you figure out that it's necessary, and you want it to happen. I'm rooting for her, though. At least she changed her story in front of her family... for about three seconds. *covers eyes* Oh, Molly! You can do it!!!

In the first chapter, you've already grabbed me with your witty lines and your quirky characters, you've used the Love Quote Challenge line, and TWO of your five elements! Bravo!

And I am highly entertained!! *runs off to next chapter*

Author's Response: Hey there! Lovely to hear from you, as always!

Agatha Painsley-Bumbershuffle was the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak for poor Molly. But it's strange where one's wake up calls come from. Bad coffee is definitely a good sign though. And Agatha's life... You haven't seen the last of her, let's just leave it at that.

Change is difficult. I can't resolve myself and stick to the plan in the first go. She does get it all off her chest, though, which is a start. It doesn't help that her parents aren't exactly the most sympathetic.

Lovely to hear from you!


 Report Review

Review #20, by Unwritten Curse Uncharted

1st March 2014:
Howdy, partner! The Blackout Battle gave me an excuse to finally come back and leave you another review. Woo hoo!

First... WARTHOGS. :D I died.

Witty banter for the win. Seriously. Heath and Molly are just a delightful pair. Heath seems so well meaning, despite his annoying tendencies, but Molly is so skeptical. It makes for awesome humor.

I really enjoyed the spiritual/otherworldly atmosphere of Stonehenge. It seems to be an entirely new form of magic. Socks and Sandals was hilarious and at first I thought he was just going to tell them a bunch of theories and burn incense and that it would be silly--but something deeper is happening here. I'm really curious as to where they will end up in the next chapter.

And finally, all the little details that you throw into your writing are great. The bit about the emergency tampons made me giggle. And Raj singing on the toilet. Also, the Star-Spangled Order of Merlin (or whatever it was) was interesting, as was the reaction to it as sounding like some old rock band. Another bit that stuck with me was Molly "valiantly" holding back an unexpected laugh. These little details really bring the story to life. You are clearly a thoughtful writer and as your reader I appreciate that.

I'll be back for chapter four soon!

xx Gina

Author's Response: Partner! So lovely to hear from you! Now you have reminded me to go read Hourglass, which I have been neglecting :(

Haha! I'm glad you liked that little addition. Warthogs makes a lot more sense as a word than Hogwarts, namely, that it's real.

You found the dialogue witty? I am so relieved. I always try, but sometimes I worry about coming across as trying too hard... or not hard enough. I'm so happy that you found it to work!

I loved writing Stonehenge that way! It's always been this really mystical/spiritual kind of place for me, and having someone like Molly experience that sort of feeling from it was an opportunity I couldn't pass up to show another side of her character. And Socks and Sandals is just... he knows his stuff, despite his terrible fashion sense.

You think I'm a thoughtful writer? OMG *DIES OF FLATTERY OVERLOAD* I'm blushing so hard right now. That means so much to me, you have no idea.

... Now I've just come off as a little creepy. I'm not usually this creepy, I promise - just in reviews, sometimes.

Thanks so much for reading :)


 Report Review

Review #21, by anythingcouldhappen King of Anything

1st March 2014:
Hi! I'm reviewing this for Blackout Bingo :)

This was such an amusing but also very thoughtful piece of writing. I think you did wonderfully in incorporating the quote about accepting the love we think we deserve into the story. I already find myself rooting for Molly and hoping she can change her life! She's a very likable character. Her interaction with her parents was so funny, especially her inner thoughts. I kept giggling.

This was probably my favorite bit: "Molly couldnít help but feel as if this was some sort of metaphor for her life." The part about the fork was just so funny! I liked that you stated specifically what the food is too--a lot of time I feel like meals get ignored in favor of just focusing on the action/conversation, but you really incorporated the meal into the action, which was awesome!

Overall, great job! This was a lot of fun to read, and I wish you good luck in all the challenges!

Sam

Author's Response: Heya!

Writing this first chapter was a surprisingly introspective experience for me. My writing isn't known for being particularly deep, so you finding it thoughtful means a lot to me. I'm glad that you're rooting for Molly already!

Don't you just get moments like that sometimes? When you see some inconsequential event and go "that is my life right now". Mentioning food was my way of including at least some description. I'm so bad at it usually, so I'm glad that you enjoyed it :)

Thanks so much :)


 Report Review

Review #22, by Lululuna Uncharted

10th February 2014:
REVIEW TAG! :) I've missed being your secret santa and reading about your crazy characters. :(

Okay, and now I'm getting this really odd sense because I'm 100% sure I read this chapter before and 50% sure I left a review on it. But... did I?? Did the review get removed (for some reason...) or not post properly? Did I dream I posted it? Inception? WHAT IS HAPPENING AHHH!

Sorry, minor freakout there. :P No worries, I loved this chapter regardless so don't mind (possibly) re-writing it. :P First of all, I love how you've sent them to Stonehenge for the first stop, and Molly's sense of anti-climax when she realizes they're not going very far at all. :P

Heath and Molly's banter is hilarious as well, and I love the cultural differences between America and Britain. Not everybody realizes it, but they have a huge impact!

"No," Molly replied, offended. You didn't see her making fun of his stupid school. Who went and built a school in a town known for persecuting witches, anyway? Hahaha, this is a really good point. The Hat would seem ridiculous/does seem ridiculous, and I liked how Molly got all defensive of Hogwarts. She's so funny.

The story about Henry Zhang really made me laugh, as did that whole incident. Okay, I remember commenting on this in my (ghost) review and you responding to it in your (ghost) response. Did this happen?? Sorry. :P

Even after all they'd been through as a society, from the bubonic plague, to widespread witch hunting, to the most evil person ever to exist since possibly the dawn of the dinosaurs, a trip down to a pile of stone as old as writing was probably incredibly exciting stuff. This sentence was really brilliant, I loved it. All the historical and cultural references, as goofy as some of them may be, really remind me how awesome traveling is and what a brilliant writer you are.

I love how you've tied in Muggles visiting Stonehenge with the wizarding side of the tourism, and how they sometimes have to cooperate. It's also cool how the wizarding aspects of it are tied in to make it all the more magical. Socks and Sandals makes me a little suspicious, but he's also a fantastic character and I wouldn't mind having him as a tour guide.

"I prefer unstoppable." I thought this was a great line in reference to the summary - loved it!

I'm so excited to find out what happens next. You write this story so well and it's really entertaining and brilliant. I'm glad I got the chance to come back and reminisce on my ghost review which may or may not have happened. :P Amazing job, I'll definitely be back for the next chapter soon! :)

Author's Response: Aww! That's so sweet of you :)

I ALSO REMEMBER THIS REVIEW. A GHOST HAS STOLEN IT.

For their first destination, I wanted to choose the most anti-climactic place I could, but still have it be cool. Stonehenge seemed like a good fit :P

Being neither American nor British, I'm having a lot of fun writing all the cultural differences. I get to poke fun at both of them!

The Sorting Hat always scared me a little, and when I talk about HP to friends who haven't read it, they look at me really strangely for getting all exciting about a talking hat that reads minds. Those are the basis for Heath's reactions.

I definitely remember reading about you telling me how you thought that the frogs were going to be alive once they were thrown up and that would be really gross. I think I sat there and cringed at the idea - although, it has merit...?

Okay, basically that sentence is me being a huge nerd. I couldn't help letting that slip in. Who else knows that Stonehenge is older than the first forms of writing so far discovered? Nerds. I'm glad you think it worked :)

All of the places they're visiting are in the Muggle world. The idea is that all of these things were built before the Statute of Secrecy, so wizards and muggles still hung out with each other and built cool things together. I like playing around with that idea - still collaborating, but in secret. Socks and Sandals is like the best tour guide ever. He was an absolute blast to write.

"I prefer unstoppable."


 Report Review

Review #23, by academica Counting Stars

8th February 2014:
Hey, here from Review Tag!

Glad I'm able to get back to this story :)

Aww, I do like Heath! He's sort of awkward, which is good, but the relationship between him and his flatmate feels very realistic in terms of roommates. I liked how you emphasized the cultural differences; we Americans can be quite over-dramatic, especially after having a drink :)

Seems like Heath and Molly are off to a rough start. I'm sure they'll patch things up when in the presence of beauty like the seven wonders! Normally I'm not a huge fan of sort of zany, over-the-top humor, but I liked how you over-emphasized certain details and made a big fuss about Molly and Heath's first meeting. I think it added a lot of flavor to what could have been a potentially brief and boring scene.

I'm curious to read on later and see what happens! Nice work with this chapter!

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hello!

I'm glad you like Heath. He's supposed to be likeable, but in a different way to Molly. Her charm is that she's so relateable. I am neither British nor American, so a lot of the way I show cultural clash is basically based off anecdotes and television. I'm happy that it's working :P

When I began writing the scene between Molly and Heath, my biggest concern was that it was going to be boring. Meeting new people isn't as exciting as it sounds, so I tried really hard to make Heath as entertaining as possible!

Thank you so much for this lovely review!


 Report Review

Review #24, by Iellwen Take It Easy

29th January 2014:
Wow, I just read your four chapters in one go.

I just LOVE this story; it's now added to my reading list and I can't wait for the next chapter!^^

Molly is a great character (, she's tough and realistic but still has that Weasley temper (and flaming hair!^^) though maybe not from Percy? I laughed so hard at her mother's theatrics!

Heath is, in many ways, incredibly useless but somehow adorable (don't. cry.) who had not even heard of Hogwarts (pah!Fool!). Btw, I loved the 'don't tell me the hat talks' 'No. It sings' in the previous chapter!!! ^^

They are just such a great duo and my description of them does not do them justice!

Socks (or Beard, for Heath) & Sandals, the naming itself is hilarious!

I just laughed so much reading your story - all of your chapters are spiked with different kinds of humors, it's a great read!

I love that you're taking your story through France!

The fields of monoliths in Carnac are, indeed, awesome and the beaches are gorgeous; great choice! ^^
I don't know if you want to add it to Heath's notes (I just need to let the know-it-all out of the bag for a few seconds), 'Brittany' is called "(la) Bretagne" in French. (here, I put her back in the bag, I promise)

I'm really looking forward to your chapter(s) in Paris!

:D

Author's Response: That's quite the effort! Well done for reading all of this in one go! I'm glad that you enjoyed it :)

I love writing Molly. She's a character very close to my heart and it's just so wonderful to see her being so well-received!

You're right - somehow Heath is adorable. He's from the States so it makes sense that he wouldn't know how Hogwarts operated. The culture crash is fun to write!

I'm really excited about this story! And France will be fun!

I really want to go visit Carnac! I studied French at school, and we learnt a little bit about Brittany because our teacher was a linguistics fan. I totally should include that it's called la Bretagne! It would make sense to actually mention the region's name en francais!

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #25, by Maelody Take It Easy

20th January 2014:
Can I just say that I love how Heath is more of the damsel in distress than Molly is in this story? It's just such a turn in characters that it's refreshing and I really like it.

Poor guy broke his arm and what he really worried about was his manliness! This is just too amazing. By the way, for never being to these places, you do an amazing deal of description and detail. I can at least picture where they're at.

I was really confused as to why they couldn't just apparate, but you did answer that and it helped out a lot. Though I maybe would have mentioned it just a little sooner as to keep readers from being confused for so long. Or maybe I'm just a little slower than most haha.

I think this chapter was plenty funny. It had more sweet moments, too, and I really liked it. I'm so excited to see how Paris goes!

You're doing an awesome job! I'm in love with this story already! Keep up the good work and I look forward to chapter five! :D

Author's Response: Of course Heath is the damsel in distress! That's why he needed to bring an Auror along in the first place, to keep him out of trouble.

I'm glad that the places seem real! It's difficult to write about places you've never seen, but it's a fun sort of challenge.

Hmm... I didn't think that not mentioning Apparition earlier might be causing some confusion. I'll look into how I might clarify that!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>