Reading Reviews for Lost in Falmouth
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Guest Introductions and Surprise!

6th June 2016:
Is this story abandoned? It's been so long and I kinda forgot about it until a story about Oliver brought it to the forefront of my memory. It's so good! Please update!

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Review #2, by cocopops Introductions and Surprise!

17th August 2015:
Update soon!!! Please don't leave this story unfinished :(

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Review #3, by May Introductions and Surprise!

10th May 2015:
This story is great I do hope you will continue with it

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Review #4, by Veritaserum27 Hellloooo England

7th February 2015:
Hi there - I'm here from Review Tag!

I think you've got a great start here. I really like the premise for this story - it is very original, as I haven't seen something like this done before.

Starting over can be really hard, and you've done a good job portraying Emily's emotions here. She's a good Mum and a good person, too. You've also done a great job with Hannah. I think some authors really miss the mark when it comes to accurately depicting kids at a certain age - but her voice, reactions and actions are believable and they make her more endearing. She is six and her main concern is finding friends - I would be nervous too!

Nice job explaining Emily's back story. I see a lot of first chapters that go overboard, listing all of the background information instead of telling us a story.

My only cc here is that I couldn't really tell if you'd edited this chapter yet. There were quite a few typos. If you haven't yet edited, I'm sorry for mentioning it, but if you have, I would suggest getting a quick beta - there is a thread on the forums. Sometimes another set of eyes giving a once-through can be really helpful.

Overall, great first chapter! I like the premise of this story and I want to read more. I have some questions - for example did something happen to Emily's dad? She spoke of him in the past tense when the rest of the story was in the present tense. I want to know how her job interview will go and I hope little Hannah settles in to her new life in England!

♥ Beth

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Review #5, by Guest Introductions and Surprise!

8th October 2014:
I love your story! Emily and Hannah have the perfect mother
daughter bond and the whole team is like a big family which is
awesome. I hope you update soon! You're story's great!

Author's Response: I do have some in the pipline, but I'm editing all the old chapters first! Stay tuned!

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Review #6, by Frenchhornz A Love-Hate relationship with England

7th June 2014:
I found your story a little while back the last time you updated and I loved it from the start. I've been checking it every once in a while just to make sure I don't miss an update. Anyway I love the plot you are laying out and how well developed you've made Emily and Hannah in such a short time. Hoping for another update and a more regular schedule. Keep writing!

Author's Response: I am! I promised myself I'd have a set schedule, but that seriously went to hell in a handbasket when Exams came around, along with final assignments then my decision for some summer classes stalled.

I've kept on writing though, and I actually just put the next chapter into queue! :D

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Review #7, by dadoune A Love-Hate relationship with England

26th April 2014:
Really good story! :) Can't wait for more! Please update soon!! :)

Author's Response: I am now! All shall be explained in the next chapters Author notes!

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Review #8, by marauderfan Hellloooo England

30th December 2013:
Hello! Here for day 5 of the 12 Days of Reviewing on the forums!

This is a good start. Your characters are great; Emily seems nice, and pretty optimistic. I think the fact that she is a single mum makes the story really original - I haven't found a lot of fics like that before. I like the relationship between Emily and her uncle - the line about "you're my favourite niece" because she's his only niece made me laugh. And Hannah is the sweetest little girl! How adorable, she's really shy until Stuart mentions lunch, and then she's done being shy.

You have some very nice imagery in here - I particularly like the bit about the airport jetway attaching to the plane like a leech. :D And I liked the details about Vancouver's football team being managed by a wizard haha. I love the idea of wizards having important roles in Muggle society and not being found out!

If you don't mind some CC - I think the part in the beginning about how she got the job could be improved a bit. I was wondering how she got the offer - it sounded like this great, well-paying foreign job just landed in her lap, and that seemed a little too convenient. Perhaps you could add a bit about her applying as a long shot because she was low on money or something? That could also be used to explain the plane flight rather than the portkey - maybe international portkeys are prohibitively expensive. I don't know, just something to think about. Also, I thought I'd mention there's a bit of formatting that got left in there - some < i >'s near the beginning - which fortunately is a very easy fix :)

Hope that's helpful to you. Other than that, I think this is a very promising beginning to your story and I'm looking forward to seeing where you take it! Well done! (By the way, I notice that you're new to HPFF - welcome!!)

Author's Response: Wow... so this is a late response. (You know, University and all.)

Thanks for the feedback first of all, and the compliments... hehe.

In the next few chapters I had it written out how she had gotten the job, but I love your idea so much im going to try and incorporate it.

I'd love for more feedback in the future.

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