Reading Reviews for Operation Mistletoe
  
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Lunalovegoodlover7869 Operation Mistletoe

29th December 2013:
That was really cute! :-)

Author's Response: Thank you! :)

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Review #2, by writeyourheartout Operation Mistletoe

28th December 2013:
*waves* Hi Cal! :-D

So I'm trying to both compete in the 12 Days of Reviewing challenge as well as review all of the Writer's Duel entries, and your story fits both categories today, so here I am! Yay! ^.^

After reading this story for the second time now, I just have to say this: Aww, Cal! You're such a romantic little sweety-pie fluffy bunny teddy bear softy at heart, aren't you? hehehe How many times did I just make you cringe? ;)

Really, though, this was adorable.

First off, I think you did a great job balancing all four Marauder's. They played off of each other really well, in the opening scene especially, and were all not only in character, but distinctive from one another. The only moment I wasn't completely sold on was during the second half of the first section; I thought perhaps Remus was just a bit too temperamental in it. I definitely think he would be as against the catch-Lily-under-the-mistletoe plan as you made him, but he doesn't strike me as the guy who 'storms off' over something relatively minor, like James planning out a new prank involving Lily - something that's probably pretty routine to him at this point. But really, every other moment I was completely sold on! And your Lily was very fitting as well, I thought! :)

Peter's role in this story is something I greatly appreciated. I love that you not only involved him in the story (something that a lot of people don't bother doing), but that you also made him an asset to the Marauders! He's not simply a bumbling buffoon who doesn't seem to fit in at all with the other three, but instead he contributes to James' plan in a pretty major way right at the top! He's also the person who suggests the Marauder's Map as a tool to find Lily, even if it doesn't pan out. It's really good to see him being used in a way that actually highlights the good side of him. It's so easy to forget that Peter was not always the man he turns out to be in the canon books. Kudos to you!

James is pretty darn great in this too, I have to say. He's funny and charming and arrogant and scheming, but we also get to see how good of a heart he truly does have beneath all of that other stuff! The moment when he realizes he would never forgive himself for stealing a kiss from Lily that she clearly doesn't want to happen and he walks away from the golden opportunity is just lovely. That was probably my favorite moment in the entire story, to be honest. Just very bittersweet in a very accurate and believable way. :)

One of my other favorite bits was at the end of the library scene when James says "It's like magic!" LOL Too funny (as is the entire scene leading up to it). I really do adore the balance of humor and sentiment you created throughout. It's a really enjoyable story, Cal!

There were a decent amount of little typo's and grammatical slips, however. I know you wrote this in a hurry and quite last-minute, so overlooked grammatical errors are only natural, but I thought I'd point a few out to you while I'm here!:

""Give it a rest(,) Mooney (Moony, not Mooney)," one of them was saying with a dramatic roll of the eyes."

"You'd do well to study a bit more yourself(,) Sirius."

"It's more of an obsession really(,) James,"

"Hey Evans," Sirius drawled. "How you going (doing, not going)?"" - This line cracked me up. Sirius reminds me of Joey from the tv series 'Friends' so much here. hahaha *has no idea if you'll understand the reference*

"A hint of tears was forming and helpless fury." - This whole sentence is a bit wonky, to be honest. Not really sure what you meant to say.

Anyway, I pointed out just a few of the missing comma moments above, but there were a good amount more of them in the story, so should you ever decide to edit, I would pay close attention to the comma's over anything else, cause the rest of the story was really great! The characters, the plot, the humor, the sentiment: it all worked wonderfully! I really love that this entire story has this great, light humor to it that leads to this really sweet and touching finale. The entire story was enjoyable from start to finish and, even though you're my direct competition, I wish you the best of luck with the Writer's Duel! ^.^

Author's Response: Tanya! You are marvellous! Such a detailed, lovely review! Thank you!

Yeah... Looks like a beta is compulsory for me in future. They will definitely be fixed soon. As for the "How you going?" I think that might be more of an Aussie phrase but essentially is the same as doing. I'll have to fix that up as well. And yes, I definitely understand your Friends reference. It was undeniably part of the inspiration but I imagined it not quite as flirty as Joey, bit more amused haha :D

I really appreciate all your praise, though I'm not sure how to respond to it all as mostly it's just a massive grin when reading it and no words come to mind. Even if you are making me a bit paranoid with my myriad mistakes ;). Haha, don't worry, it makes me feel very warm inside. Thank you again! *squish*

P.S. A lot of cringing took place ;)


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Review #3, by momotwins Operation Mistletoe

25th December 2013:
Aww poor James trying to catch Lily under the mistletoe and not managing it. And his friends giving him crap about it XD That made me laugh. Remus has a point, though, and good for him for speaking up about it, even if it didn't stop them. I love how sarcastic they are. "It's like magic" cracked me up.

I'm glad James stopped when he had her pinned and saw her distress. I think you did well writing it that way - because as stupidly teenage-boy-full-of-hormones-and-impressed-with-himself as he is, he is a good person at heart and really does care for Lily. He knew he was doing the wrong thing and stopped, and then apologized too. Nicely done. And look, it worked out for him in the end, cause he still got the kiss, and now she doesn't think he's quite as big a prat.

Great job, I really enjoyed it. Merry Christmas!

Author's Response: Thanks heaps for your merry review! I do sympathise with Remus, he seems a bit disapproving and exasperated by their actions but he refuses to ever confront them about it (as they are accepting of him).

A lot of fanfiction on this site has James being immature and pranking her to get her attention and so I wanted to focus on a turning points of sorts where he starts gaining her attention positively and realising that maybe he's been going about things wrong. Glad you appreciated it :)

Thanks so much!


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Review #4, by Shriya Ganguly Operation Mistletoe

23rd December 2013:
wonderful,just plain wonderful

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Glad you enjoyed it!

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Review #5, by MidnightBlue_x Operation Mistletoe

21st December 2013:
CALLY!

It's so beautiful. I love it so much! And you were worried about it :P But honestly, I think it's very lovely. I really like how you've written James and Lily, especially James. He's much sweeter than people usually write- I like that.

I really hope you go well in the Duel. Merry Christmas Cal!!

x Ely

Author's Response: Thanks so much Ely, really glad you enjoyed it! Yay for sweet James! Thanks again for your Christmas present :)

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Review #6, by TxGinny Operation Mistletoe

19th December 2013:
This was a really cute one shot, and I think it displayed James as a gentleman which I like. Great job!

Author's Response: I have a soft spot for James, even if he is immature early on. I wanted to try and capture the start of his change which got Lily's attention. Thank you!

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Review #7, by lilacbreeze Operation Mistletoe

19th December 2013:
This was really cute. I enjoyed reading it!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your kind words! :)

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Review #8, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Operation Mistletoe

19th December 2013:
It's here!!! :D

This was so sweet and lovely to read. James had the arrogance we know well, and then the softer side Lily gets to see - you wrote him very well, I think.

I'm glad he let her go; it was a little sad to see Lily so... upset by the mistletoe, but it made the end so much better, for her to kiss him willingly. I wanted to hug them.

And I loved the banter between the friends. "It's like magic." - Awesome! :D

Good luck with the Writer's Duel, Cal!

Sam.

Author's Response: Sam! Thank you so much for your review which is making my head swell incredibly!

I felt a bit awkward writing Lily under the Mistletoe, though I'd assume Lily would have recovered fairly quickly afterwards. You never know though and James stopping his grand plans to listen to someone else paid off far greater than he expected. In fact, I'm not sure if he would even have told anyone the next day after the kiss. It makes me feel all warm inside thinking about James proving himself to Lily :)

I loved writing the banter as well, so I'm overjoyed that others get to share that. Thanks heaps!


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