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Reading Reviews for A Black Christmas
  
19 Reviews Found

Review #1, by victoria_anne A Black Christmas

17th May 2016:
Okay one more then I'll go to bed, I promise! :P
But I found this little Black one tucked away, it called to me. I couldn't say no!

Bianca... Read me...

I luuurve the Black family (as I'm sure you well know *ahem*) and I think your characterisation of ALL of them was perfect! I must say though, that was pretty brave of Andromeda to turn up! And poor Ted must have been so nervous!

Omg Regulus is so cute, pretending he knows what a metamorphmagus is when he doesn't! Ha ha!

I love how Narcissa was instantly taken by baby Dora, I feel like she's one of those girls who just completely cooed over babies and wanted nothing more than to be a mother herself ♥

Ha ha and that last line! You should write Regulus more!

Oh Chi this was such a great piece, I bet every family get together at the Black house went this way! Their bickering and judging was spot on, but the whole story was still quite lighthearted, I loved it!

Love B ♥

Author's Response: That's not good behaviour, Bianca... Mummy-Chiara is disappointed... But I'll forgive you because I love your reviews too much! ;)

Ahahah! I love the Blacks too! They are so crazy!!! Dromeda was actually more naive than brave... but yes, quite brave too! :) Poor Ted...

Little Reg is my favourite! Ahahah! He would never admit with his big bro that he doesn't know something! ;)

Yes, Cissy is that kind of girl! :D I've always thought that she loved her family above anything (Andromeda included) and that she never really cared about anything else.

I would've wanted to open the presents too! What's Christmas without presents? And as I already said, Reg is my favourite! :D

So glad you enjoyed this! Thank you for stopping by (you've really spoiled me too much these days... is even there anything on my page you haven't read yet?)

Love you so much!
Your little Chi!


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Review #2, by missatron A Black Christmas

28th October 2015:
Hi there! I'm here for our swap! (Very late I must admit but I've been really busy sorry) .

I chose to read this one shot because it's about Christmas, I love reading about the Black Family and most importantly - it's 57 days until Christmas! *starts ring bells loudly*. Anyhow, enough rambling lets get onto the actual story!! To be honest I am really feeling the awkwardness for Sirius. The Black family always did disregard him didn't they? I always wondered why as surely Gryffindor chivalry is a good thing? And it's nice to have a little diversity in the family rather than just Slytherins. Then again, they're pure bloods and they want to be perfect don't they?

A lot of stories about the Black family are very serious, I liked this - it had a much lighter mood compared to some of the other stories that I have read. Just this morning, I read a very depressing story about Sirius.

Oh dear, I really do feel sorry for Andromeda and Teddy here. They clearly aren't comfortable in that family and I really can't blame them. They are so rude to her though I do like how Narcissa is still nice to her here. I always thought that Narcissa would never have quite enough evil in her to go against one of her own family simply because of her life choices. Family obviously means a lot to her and I like that. Even in HP and the Half Blood prince she was very protective over Draco, she didn't really care about what he was doing, just so long as he was safe. Bellatrix was the opposite.

I enjoyed reading this, thanks :)

Author's Response: Hi!
Oh, don't worry about the lateness... I'm happy you're here! :)

It's always fun when people come to this story! It's definitely not my best written piece, but I think it is quite funny (at least, I had a lot of fun writing it!)

Is it 57 days (56 I suppose now...)? Really? Can't wait for Christmas, I need some holidays!!! And some festive air, too!!! Oh, but that's not important...

Poor Sirius... Yes, they did... I doubt they would ever see anything good in being a Gryffindor (or just anything different from Slytherin, really)

This was supposed to be hilarious. It was sort of an experiment, actually. Put all the Blacks together and see what happen. Apparently this! :P

Andromeda and Ted aren't exactly welcomed... I do feel sorry for Ted, too. But not so much for Dromeda, she can hold her ground quite well anyway! :)

I totally agree with you on Cissy. JK showed us in more than one occasion how much family is important to her. I'm sure she used to love her sister deeply, and I'm sure she wouldn’t stop only because of whom she married.

Thanks to you! I'm so happy you enjoyed the story!!!

Much love,
Chiara


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Review #3, by Gabriella Hunter A Black Christmas

14th September 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums here with our swap and thank you so much for the great review you left me the other day! It was a nice surprise. :D

I thought that I would check this one-shot out because it sounded really interesting. I don't think I can imagine the Blacks actually sitting down and having dinner together, let alone Christmas dinner. Hahah. What's really sad about this is that alot of this reminded me of my own family (I am the Sirius Black in this situation) and I thought the awkwardness of it was really well written and realistic.

I felt sorry for Andromeda and Teddy though, I can only imagine how much courage it took for them to even go to that dinner. The Blacks were rude and very crude to her, though I was surprised that Narcissa seemed so welcoming towards them. I think that this might show that they were actually pretty close and I thought that was a nice little twist, though it's shame that the remainder of the evening wasn't the same. Regulus and Sirius of course were bickering and fighting just like real brothers though. I actually enjoyed them fighting and arguing though, it wasn't tainted too much by what would happen later on. Their parents were awful though and the actual dinner scene was just filled with so much tension. This one-shot did make me want to know what happened next though but I guess I can feel reassuring that Anromeda tried to reconnect with her family again. Sirius and Regulus got their presents too so that's always a bonus. ;)

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey, Gabbie!
Oh, don't mention it! Always up for a cheer-me-up swap!!! ;)

Oh, well... I wanted to see what would happen putting them all together... It was fun to write! Eheheh!

Families can be difficult at times, I suppose... II'm sorry to hear that... I'm glad you found that the awkwardness came out well, though! :)

In my imaginary Andromeda really believed she would be welcomed... She missed her parents and sisters, and she expected them to miss her in return... And Ted followed because he loved her and wanted to give her support (and because he knew she was too stubborn to change her mind).

As for Narcissa... I've always thought that all she'd always cared about was family. So I'm honestly convinced that she would be happy to see her sister again!

Sirius and Regulus were the funniest to write!!! :D They are still very young here, so yes, their fighting is more the typical brothers' fighting than anything else. :)

Oh, Orion wasn't that bad... But I totally agree on Walburga! I doubt anyone would want a mother like her...

Actually, I don't think Andromeda would try it again...

Ahahah! Well, wwhat's Christmas without presents???

I'm glad you enjoyed reading this! :)
Thank you so much for stopping by and for the lovely review!!!

Much love,
Chiara


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Review #4, by CassiePotter A Black Christmas

7th August 2015:
Hello again!
Oh my gosh, this one shot was so much fun. As soon as I saw it on your Author's Page, I knew I wanted to read it. With Sirius and his whole family getting together at Christmas, you know something crazy is bound to happen!
I was not expecting Andromeda and Ted to show up! If I were her, I don't know if I'd be able to go back to my family after leaving because of my differing view. I loved that Narcissa was accepting of them, though. And that she thought little baby Tonks was cute!
The end of this was funny. I loved that amidst all the family drama, Regulus just cares about the Christmas presents.
This was so much fun to read! Thanks for the swap!
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hi Cassie!
I'm so happy you enjoyed this, thank you so much for the swap!!!

This was a sort of scientific experiment for me... Put all the Blacks together and see what happens... I'm so glad you found it funny! It was so much fun to write!

I thought Andromeda would miss her family, so she would try to get back to them. Obviously it couldn't work...
And in my opinion Narcissa never cared that much about ideology. She cared about family. And she would miss her sister a lot too!

Regulus was my favourite to write! He's only a child, and a spoiled one to it, so I imagined presents would be all he cared about!

Thank you so much for the lovely review!
Hugs,
Chiara


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Review #5, by Penelope Inkwell A Black Christmas

31st July 2015:
Hey there! Penny here for our review swap!

So, there's lots of intriguing stuff on your page--it was hard to choose! But as soon as I read the title "A Black Family Christmas", I knew where I had to go. I have a deep and abiding love of Slytherins, and the Blacks are particular favorites of mine.

It's been a long time since I read something that was almost entirely dialogue. I enjoyed it, since it was a bit of something different. Sort of like reading a play. I used to be a drama student, so I've done lots of that. It was kind of fun to set it up in my mind the way I would if I was still directing.

A lot of stuff about the Blacks is very heavy, but this was light and funny, which was a nice change :)

After all, he had to survive only a few hours... He could manage...--something about the phrasing and timing of this line just cracked me up. Poor Sirius and his mantra. Who could manage this?

Regulus waited for him to be out of earshot, then he turned to Narcissa. "What is a Metamorphmagus?" He whispered.
--this was just so cute! Baby Regulus!

I also like how you have Narcissa still loving Andromeda here, despite who she married. I always love fics that play with their relationship, and I've always thought that they would have been very devoted to one another. Family is obviously very important to Narcissa. I liked seeing her do something different, but still within the realm of possibility--ranking her love for her sister above her own dislike of Muggleborns. Maybe she changes those views over time, or after marrying Lucius. Or perhaps she always made an exception of her sister in her heart. Who knows? But I like it.

As much as seeing his parents fighting amused Regulus, he had other priorities in that precise moment. He turned towards his brother, in a conspiratorial attitude. "D'you reckon we can open the presents now?"
--I like that you gave the boys something to conspire over. It's clear that they're at odds, as canon suggests, but they're still brothers, so their relationship is bound to be more complex than constant disdain. I like how even in such a short fic you included that complexity. Plus, it was just a funny, cute way to end it. I've a feeling that after growing up in the Black household one must become mostly immune to high drama. Maybe that's why Sirius was such a drama queen--among this lot, that was probably a fairly low-key personality.

CC:

He let escape an imprecation which would've yield him a good slap from his mother if she'd heard him.
--"yield" doesn't seem quite right here. Maybe "earned" would be better?

"Who? That old dotard of your brother?
--the phrasing here is a little odd. I'd suggest changing it to something like, "Who? Your old dotard of a brother?" or "Who, that old dotard who calls himself your brother?"

It's just delightful to have you here! Isn't it?" She asked, addressed to the rest of the family.
--here, the "s" in "she" should be lowercase

"What is a Metamorphmagus?" He whispered.
--the "h" in he should also be lowercase


I had a fun time reading this piece! Love me some Ancient and Most Noble House of Black! Thanks for the swap!

--Penny

Author's Response: Hi Penny!
Thank you so much for the swap and for the lovely and long review! It made my day!
And please, forgive me for the late reply...

I love the Blacks, they are an interesting bunch, aren't they? The title was supposed to be a sort of pun, like the opposite of a White Christmas...

I'm happy you liked the dialogue. This was the first story I posted here, and a lot of people thought that it was too unbalanced between dialogue and description... I suppose they might've been right, but I honestly like this the way it is.

I'm glad you liked the funny tone, I had a lot of fun writing the story!!!

Poor Sirius indeed... I agree, no one could have managed, especially not him!

I'm so happy you enjoyed Regulus innocence! He was my favourite to write!!!

That's my idea of Narcissa. She loves her family, plain and simple. She believes in Pureblood supremacy only because that's what her family expects from her and Andromeda would still come first than any ideology. It's just my headcanon...

I can't imagine Sirius and Regulus to just hate each other. I agree with you their relationship must've been more complex than that! I'm happy I managed to show it a little with the closing!

Thank you for the notes on grammar. I'm planning on finding a beta to help me fix a few issues (English is not my mother language, so I tend to make a few mistakes...)

Thanks so much for the swap!
Much love,
Chiara


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Review #6, by HeyMrsPotter A Black Christmas

28th July 2015:
Hello my darling Chiara! I've fallen behind on birthday reviews lately so I'm here to play catch up! A belated happy birthday to you, and I hope your day was as wonderful as you are!

This adorable little story perfectly captures a crazy family christmas, pretty much every one at my mum's house atually :p I love the bickering between Sirius and Regulus throughout, that is pretty much how I imagine their relationship was while Sirius still lived at home. I loved the little dig Sirius had about Regulus not knowing what a metamorphmagus is and then him actually not knowing! LOL :p It was a shame that Bellatrix had to spoil the whole thing! You wrote Sirius' response to her really well, I loved the line about cranberries :p

This was such an enjoyable story, Chiara :D

Dee♥

Author's Response: Dee!
I'm so happy you decided to stop by here! And thank you so much for the birthday review! I don't mind the lateness at all!!!

Ahahah! It is crazy! I'm so happy you enjoyed it!!!

Reg and Sirius were the funniest to write! I do believe their relationship was like that as children! I'm so happy you liked the Metamorphmagus bit!

And the cranberrie sauce one, too. I can't see Sirius letting Bellatrix bossing him around, can you?

Thank you so much for the lovely review and for the happy birthday wishes! It means so much to me!!!

Tons of love, darling!
Chiara


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Review #7, by pointless_proclamations A Black Christmas

20th July 2015:
HC 2015 - Slytherin (come to slither in-to this review box right here)

CHIARA!! There is this absolutely delicious way you slowly reveal the details of the setting and characters in the beginning of this story. I say delicious because it's like eating a parfait or a however-many-layer bean dip. Ted and Andromeda seem like such an adorable couple. It's easy to take an instant liking to them and see how well-suited they are together. And then you immediately contrast this lovely relationship with Sirius and Regulus and their sort of back-and-forth going on. How interesting and clever that you chose to let conversations reveal everything about the Black family dynamic. I LOVE IT. The party grows and grows. Bahaha! You have a wonderful sense of humour Chiara. This makes me miss parties with my extended family because it goes almost pretty much like this (without the fancy names everyone's got and it's also less tense, of course). What a wonderful explosion of family drama. I think you broke something Chiara. I call it my feels. but the Regulus turns to Sirius and whispers about presents conspiratorially and however small a thing it is, it shows that, I suppose, they do get along sometimes. ♥

Author's Response: EM!
I wasn't expecting this review from you (I thought TAR was already ended for all houses...), and what a delightful surprise it was to wake up this morning and find this amazing review!!! You are way too kind and sweet! Thank you so so so much!!!

Oh, I loved your dessert metaphore (I didn't know what parfait and bean dip were, so I googled them... I'm still not sure what bean dip is...)

I tried to put into this family dinamics to which people could relate to, keeping at the same time what we know from canon about the Blacks. So Andromeda and Ted are quite the typical married couple, with that tiny bit of teasing and disagreements, but mostly deeply in love with each other (and obviously Andromeda is the volitive one, while Ted is the more condescending). And I agree, they are cute together! :)

Similarly, Sirius and Regulus are the typical older and younger brothers (I think Reg was my absolute favourite to write!) They do their best to annoy each other. Sirius tries to show that he is so much more grown up than his brother and Regulus tries to use his favourite-son status to put his brother in trouble. But they do love each other and, like you said, get along at times.

I'm glad you liked the conversation! Some people felt that this story was too unbalanced between dialogue and description, which it probably is, but I honestly think that this works this way, and I'm glad you agree!

Oh, thank you! I wanted this to be humorous! I'm never sure about my humour skills... And I really wanted to make this even more chaotic (like throwing spells and/or dishes... but they are the Blacks, they are too polite, it wouldn't have worked... Plus, I wasn't sure how to write a similar scene...)

Thank you so much again for this marvelous review! It made my day!
Un enorme abbraccio!
Chiara


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Review #8, by TreacleTart A Black Christmas

19th July 2015:
Hi Chiara!

I'm stopping by for the House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor!

As I was scrolling through your AP I came across this little story and I thought it sounded interesting, so here I am.

In the beginning we see Andromeda and Ted on the way to Andromeda's family's Christmas luncheon. My first thought was why? We know from cannon that the whole family hates her and all of the choices she made especially regarding her marriage, so I just don't get why she would bring him there.

As I imagined, her entire family was awful to Ted, Nymphadora and her. Well except for Sirius and Narcissa. They both seem to make at least a bit of an effort to be nice.

I was surprised that Bellatrix even sat at the table with them. Knowing how she is as a Death Eater, I actually imagine that she'd have tried to kill him on the spot. Maybe at this point in her life she wasn't super violent yet.

All in all, I thought this was a nice little story. There were a few issues with grammar and word choice, but nothing that a beta couldn't fix.

Good work.

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Hi Kaitlin!
First of all, thanks for stopping by!!! I'm very happy you decided to take a peek at this!

Erm... Because I needed her to? Plot exigency aside (I wanted the whole Black family together) I imagined it could make sense for her to want to go. She'd just had a daughter, and she wanted to share that joy with her parents and sisters. She probably hoped they could find a way to mend fences. A bit naive of her, but understandable...

They were horrible, as should've been expected. As for Sirius and Narcissa, he never cared about blood purity, and she was only happy to see her sister again.

In my imaginary this story is set in a time when the war isn't really outlined yet and Bellatrix hasn't yet joined the Death Eaters. So, no... she wouldn't be that violent. Besides, like I said answering another review, her mother and aunt would find murder during lunch inappropriate...

Thank you, darling! I'm so happy you enjoyed it!
I'm planning on finding a beta to help me editing my stories. I just need to find the right time for it, because it's such a huge project!
Anyway, thanks so much again and a huge hug!
Chiara


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Review #9, by randomwriter A Black Christmas

19th July 2015:
Hello Chiara :) I don't believe I've ever reviewed your work before, but I'm here for the House Cup 2015 from Gryffindor, and I thought it might be a good time to start.

I really love the idea behind this. A formal dinner between all the Blacks is hardly a possibility in canon (they'd kill each other before they could even get seated), but it's fun to think about what could have happened. It's a really funny thought :p

I loved your characterisation. Sirius, and his wise-quips and blood traitor-y remarks makes your take on him so believable. Regulus is such a goody-two-shoes, but I can see that happening. I love how Andromeda is there despite what people think and say, and I love that she leaves of her own accord. It's very like her. Dora and her purple hair and the engh is just a cute presence in this story. Bella is on-point with her prejudiced remarks, and it's clear that Cissy misses her sister. But despite packing all of these details in, you still managed to maintain the humour in this piece.

Speaking of humour, there were certain instances where I literally laughed out loud. I'd love to cite them, but HC reviews, so I can't spend too much time. But the banker/goblin confusion was certainly one place where that happened. (Your father is a goblin? HAHA)

Your writing was simple and nice. The flow was also pretty good; smooth. I like that you managed to keep it that way despite this being humourous. I see some people struggling with that sort of thing.

Anyway, great work on this ♥ I'll be back to read more of your work later!

Author's Response: Hello!

Oh, thank you so much!!! I'm so glad you enjoyed this story!

I know... Crazy, isn't it? I wanted to see what would happen putting them all together... It was so fun to write! Killing each other, you say? I don't think so. I'm quite sure Walburga would find it inappropriate...

I'm glad you liked the characters. I tried to put in everything that we know from canon. I'm so happy it all worked well!!! And yes, Dora is so cute, isn't she?

The bankers/goblins passage is one of my favourites! Ahahah!

Thank you so much, it's such a relief that the flowing was smooth and that the humour worked as well!

Thank you so much for stopping by, and feel free to visit my AP whenever you want! :)

Many hugs,
Chiara

PS. Don't you happen to be willing to give a little hint to solve the riddle?
Just a tiny little one? Please? Pretty, pretty please?


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Review #10, by banshee A Black Christmas

11th May 2015:
Hey Chiara! Since this was nominated for Hufflepuff SOTM, I figured I'd check it out for our swap!

I have to start off on Ted's side. I suppose it's all good to be optimistic, but even not reading the book, family not coming to the wedding really isn't a good sign.

Startled by Regulus's suddent cry - I think you meant sudden here :) I noticed a few more spelling errors and misused words here and there reading. I'd suggest taking another look through or having a quick-beta on the forums take a look (or you could PM me since I'm posted on the Quick Beta thread :p ), just to pick up on some of those things :) I remember you saying you were from Italy so even just having someone work with you on phrasings could be really helpful.

hehe, teenage Sirius is absolutely adorable. I can't stop grinning at his general apathy towards his family and biting sarcastic thoughts directed at his brother.

"She's a Metamorphmagus, you idiot!" Sirius intervened. "Guess you don't even know what a Metamorphmagus is..." - gotta love sibling rivalry. I was almost surprised their mother didn't yell at them for picking fights at dinner. hehe.

There's a super helpful topic on the forums called Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Dialogue (Diagon Alley - Flourish and Blotts - The Fundamentals) that goes over Dialogue tags, and I'd suggest taking a look at that. It was really helpful for me when I first started writing and learned about properly structuring sentences.

I definitely got a good chuckle out of them asking Ted if his father was a Goblin. I definitely never thought about that!

It seems like The Black's dinner could definitely rival the chaos of some of the Weasley dinner's I've read, all dashed in with some bigotry from good old Bellatrix. I think you did a good job capturing that chaos and the general attitudes that most of the Black family would probably have around someone who wasn't pureblood.

Definitely love the little laugh at the end about presents. Go Regulus! hehe.

Lovely work on this!

Julie

Author's Response: Hi Julie!

Eheheh! I know... Poor Ted knew this would end in disaster... But Blacks are stubborn, and Andromeda is no exception, so...

Oh, yes... You're not the first one to suggest it. Maybe I could profit of your help, since you're offering?

Sirius and Regulus were just so fun to write! I wanted them to be the typical older and younger brother, hope it worked out well!

I really don't know where the goblin bit came from, just an idea that popped in my head out of the blue, but I loved it so much, and I'm glad it made you chuckle!

Yeah, pretty chaotic! That's how I wanted it to come out! :)
And well, were I Reg, I would've been more interested in presents, too...

Thank you for the lovely review, I'm really happy we swapped!

Hugs,
Chiara.


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Review #11, by Diogenissa A Black Christmas

10th May 2015:
Heyyy Chiara! How goes it? :-)

I had put this on my reading list the other day and the very 1st thought I had on reading the title and summary was 'Oh no..." *lol*

I LOVED this--this was absolutely hilarious! From Ted's trepidation like a 'yeah right sure they'll love me' to Sirius' moment when he first sees Bella and the realization that it's going to be a long afternoon just tickled me to no end and gave me a sense of some sort of comedic chaos that was forthcoming.


This: "Oh, well... My father is a banker..."

"A banker? You mean your father is a goblin?"


THAT--I LAUGHED SO HARD! What's really bad is that I could so totally see a pureblood saying this.

It was really cute watching Narcissa with baby Dora. As opposed to most of the others (save Sirius) she comes across as the most human when it comes to the Tonks family.

Regulus definately the spoilt brat (which you'd figure being a favorite child in a pureblood family) and constantly asking about presents was rather amusing, as well as a great way to finish the story.

The last thing I want to say is that I learned a new word: pestiferous. I had never heard this before and had to look it up. :P So thank you--I have it written down with the million and one other vocabulary words on my list!

Overall a very fun and entertaining read in which I enjoyed a lot! Thank you for a great story!

Karen xoxo



P.S. -- I have been working on this all week and meant to have it up by now so sorry about that!

Author's Response: KAREN!
Oh, darling, you are the best!
Please, don't apologize for the lateness... This review is just so lovely, I'm grinning like mad!!! :D

Well, yeah! That's what I wanted! To create a paradoxal and chaotic situation! I'm so glad I had you laugh! It was my goal in the first place!!!

I really have no idea where that bankers/goblins thing came from... The idea just popped up in my head and I found it so absurdely amusing... I'm so glad you felt likewise! And yeah, I can totally see a Pureblood say that, too! Ahahah!

I loved writing Narcissa in here. In my opinion, she'd never really cared about ideologies that much. All she cares about is her family, and I like to imagine her still feeling affectionate towards Andromeda, and Dora for extention.

I'm so happy you liked the closing! Regulus was probably my favourite to write! Yes, he is a bit of a spoiled brat!

Really? In Italian "pestifero" is quite a common word. I didn't realize it wasn't in English... I used an unusual word! I'm feeling so proud!!! :P

Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving such an amazing review! I'm just so astounded you liked this story so much!!!

Thanks again, sweety!
An enormous hug,
Chiara.


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Review #12, by Crumple-Horned Snorkack A Black Christmas

2nd May 2015:
Greetings, Chiara. I am the Crumple-Horned Snorkack, and while I commonly dwell hidden in the forest far away from human eyes (particularly the Lovegoods), I have taken this day to venture out and read some fanfiction instead!

What a dysfunctional family Christmas! I can relate, as my family Christmases tend to involve all of us Snorkacks hiding from one another, so I can never tell who's even there at all because we all camouflage with the trees. But this one, with the Black Family, is about as messy as you can get. I did wonder how that would go over, with Andromeda bringing her Muggle-born husband to dinner with her uptight purist relatives, and I can't say I was surprised.

I like your characterisation of Sirius and Regulus in particular, how they kind of annoy each other just to be annoying - as any brother would do. One thing I also really liked was Narcissa - I LOVE the idea that she was really close with Andromeda (at least when they were growing up) and that scene when Narcissa was so happy to meet baby Nymphadora was just the cutest.

Walburga was much nicer than I expected she'd be, after all, she's most known for screeching about horrible Mudbloods from her picture frame in Grimmauld Place, but here was upset at Orion for driving Andromeda away in the end. I guess being proper and having fine etiquette was most important to her when she was alive, but by the time was just a dead portrait she didn't care anymore :p

I really enjoyed reading this one-shot! Lovely work! And now, I must depart to meet my best friend the Loch Ness Monster for tea.

Author's Response: So you exist for real!!! I've been telling people for ages and no one belived me...

I'm so glad you decided to venture to this little story of mine! Thank you so much! :)

Oh, your Christmas gatherings sound pretty disfunctional too...
Yes, messy is exactly how I imagined it :P

I'm really happy you liked how I portrayed the characters! Sirius and Regulus were my favourites, too. Just the typical older and younger brothers, eheheh!
In my opinion Narcissa had never really cared about ideologies. She just wanted her family to be safe and united. This includes Andromeda, and I'm quite sure she would be happy to see her again, and to meet her niece! I'm so glad you found it cute!

Actually, Walburga was upset about Cignus leaving, and she was angry at Orion for letting Andromeda in, which led to her brother's departure. But she might've been a lot worse, I suppose... Everyone was trying to mantain a parvence of politeness, only for the good family name's sake. And yes, probably you're right. Once she was just a dead portrait she didn't care anymore.

Thank you again for stopping by and for the sweet compliments! Have a nice afternoon and say hello to Nessie from me!
Chiara.


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Review #13, by St. Brigid. A Black Christmas

2nd April 2015:
I think it is totally understandable that Ted might feel a little reluctant to visit the Blacks. Their familial bonds seem entirely conditional, based on family members following the rules completely. The society in which I lived was based strongly on family bonds and while marrying outside your own community could cause difficulty, it was certainly no reason to reject a family member. I must say I am a little shocked they could show such little regard for family members as to remove them from the family tree if they did not conform.

"Sirius overthrew the ink bottle all over the letter." I think that should be "threw the ink bottle all over," not "overthrew".

And it should be "would've yielded him," not "would've yield him."

In my society, it was always important to be well-groomed and in fact, there was a law stating that if a person's jewellEry was taken as collateral, it should be given back before an important assembly, so I can see why Druella would want her son to dress appropriately. Her attitude towards her family, however...

You've captured Sirius's rebelliousness well, and quite subtly. It's there, but not overdone.

Narcissa, at least, is willing to welcome her sister. That is nice to see.

Sirius is such a typical big brother, insisting his younger brother couldn't possibly know as much as he does. And Regulus's insistence that he does, and the way he then asked what it was, making sure Sirius was out of earshot, is so believable.

When writing dialogue, "he said" or "she said" or other tags like that are part of the sentence, so they should have a small letter at the start of them. For example: '"What is a Metamorphmagus?" he whispered.'

I like the way Bellatrix is the most openly hostile, while the others are mostly maintaining a pretence of politeness, but with the exception of Narcissa, it appears to be a pretence.

And their assumption that all bankers are goblins really indicates their lack of understanding of the Muggle world.

Sirius's reaction to that assumption is also completely in character.

This sentence: "not only she married a Muggleborn" would probably sound better as "not only did she marry a Muggleborn."

And I think it is very much in character that they should sneer at goblins too.

"That was when Sirius totally lose it." This should be "that was when Sirius totally lost it."

You've misspelled "immediately" when Andromeda is speaking. Well, it's just a typo really; you left out the "e".

The last line amused me. Regulus is pretty immune to the tensions in his family, apparently, and it is understandable that the presents would be his priority.

Author's Response: Hello St. Brigid.
I'm so honoured to host a person of your stature on this little story of mine.

I agree that it is understandable for Ted to feel reluctant.
The Blacks are a very peculiar family. Familial bonds are very important in my society too, and I can see why you could feel a little shocked by their attitude towards members who don't conform.

I didn't know about this law. It's very interesting.
I suppose the Blacks would give much importance to be well-groomed too.

Thank you. Sirius is still very young, so I think he wouldn't be overly hostile yet. I'm very happy to hear you think I captured his rebelliousness well.

I think Narcissa has always valued family over rules and ideology. I like to imagine she would still feel affectionate to Andromeda despite her sister's "betrayal".

I loved writing that scene. Sirius and Regulus are the typical big and little brothers. We know little about their relationship as children, but I like to imagine them being close, before Hogwarts houses and different friends and ideas pulled them apart.

Bellatrix being the most openly hostile is just like her character. Everyone else is trying to mantain a pretence of politeness, mostly because they have to keep the family decor, I suppose.

The passage about bankers and goblins was one of the funniest to write. Showing their lack of understanding of the Muggle world was exactly what I was aiming to.

I'm very happy you were amused by the last line. If I were Regulus, presents would be my priority, too.

Thank you so much again for the lovely review, I'm very happy you decided to stop by.
And thank you for the grammar suggestions as well. I'll fix the mistakes as soon as I can.

Yours sincerely,
Chiara.


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Review #14, by adluvshp A Black Christmas

22nd March 2015:
Hey! Here for review tag!

This was a fun little story. I definitely enjoyed reading it. It makes for a good AU (as of course I can't see the Blacks associating with Andromeda and Ted since they hated muggleborns). I liked your portrayal of Andromeda and Ted, and of Sirius and Regulus. Certain parts of this made me grin.
For CC, I'd say checking over your spelling again as there were a few mistakes, and perhaps adding some more description to balance out the dialogue.
Apart from that, this was quite good and a nice read =)

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Hello!
Thank you so much, I'm very happy to hear that you found this amusing and that you liked how I portrayed the characters!
I wouldn't call it AU... Sure, it is very unlikeable that Andromeda would decide out of the blue to go see the family for Christmas... And if that could ever happened, Orion would've probably just shut the door on her face...
Still, I liked to imagine Orion a bit more tolerant than her wife and brother-in-law and since they are Blacks and do take etiquette very seriously, I suppose this could have happened (even if, as I already said, I agree with you that it is highly unlikeable).
Really? No one pointed out typos before... I'll check, thanks for signaling it.
As for description... Yeah, that was common feeling... In my defence, I have to say that this was my very first story and I did put more effort in description in the following ones. I probably might consider a revision, but I'm scared I would end up ruining the story, so I prefer to just leave it this way.
Thank you so much again for the review!
With love,
Chiara.


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Review #15, by Vinko A Black Christmas

20th January 2014:
Great! Good style and very diverting

Author's Response: Thank you! Glad you liked it! :)

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Review #16, by patronus_charm A Black Christmas

2nd January 2014:
Here for the 12 days of reviewing challenge on the forums!

I really liked all the different POVs in this one-shot because it meant we really got to know all the members of the Black family which was really great. I think my favourites had to be Sirius and Walburga because theyre both opposite extremes and so funny as a result of that and I really enjoyed reading their narration.

I liked the surprised twist with Andromeda turning up because I didnt expect it especially with the whole family too, but it was a nice turn of events. I really liked Cissys affections for her though because they were very sweet and genuine. Sirius and Regulus comments about Tonks were great too.

A lovely one-shot!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hi Kiana!

Thank you very much for your review, and sorry if it took me so long to answer...

Happy that you liked how I portrayed all the different members of the Black family. I had a lot of fun trying to point out all their different characters and point of views.

Thanks a lot again, and I really hope you did well in the reviewing challenge! ;)

Chiara.


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Review #17, by BookDinosaur A Black Christmas

2nd January 2014:
Hello! I'm here for the Seventh of the Twelve Days of Reviewing Challenge. :)

I really enjoyed reading this little oneshot, it was really funny at times. I love the premise you started off with, taking Andromeda and Ted and having them go to a Christmas dinner with the Blacks, that would be an awkward affair if there ever was one! And, well, Ted being the Muggleborn he is wouldn't have made things much better, would they?

I really enjoyed the dialogue that took place between your characters, dialogue is one of your strongest points in this oneshot. It all seemed really natural and none of it seemed too stilted or forced, which is really difficult to do, so well done to you for that! The only thing I would suggest would be to use contractions some more, but seeing as they are the Black family I can see why they would be using such formal language, even with each other!

I loved the little exchange about bankers and goblins, it made me laugh. :P

I think my only CC for you to improve on this oneshot would be to add a little more description to this oneshot so it's fleshed out a bit more. Almost all of this oneshot was comprised of dialogue, and ideally there should be a balance between dialogue and description in every story. Description would help the readers to see the scene in their minds rather than just being told abut it.

Overall though, this was a really good oneshot I really enjoyed reading it! Congrats on getting an entry in and good luck in the Duel!

Author's Response: Hello!
Thank you very much for your review, and sorry if it took me so long to answer...
By the way, I hope you did well in the reviewing challenge! ;)

I'm glad you liked my oneshot. Yes, Andromeda's idea of visiting the Blacks was doomed to end badly (Ted knew from the beginning, but there was no way he would convince Dromeda to change her mind).

I'm happy to hear that you enjoyed the dialogue and that it turned out so natural. As for it being too formal... Well, you see, I'm Italian, so I suppose my English can be a little too scholastic...

I loved the exchange about bankers too. I wanted to point out the misunderstanding between Muggles and Purebloods and I had that idea! I'm happy you found it hilarious!

Yes, I know. I have to improve the descriptive part... It just don't come to me as easily as dialogue. But I'll try to put more effort in it, if and when I'll publish something else!

Thanks again for the review!!!


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Review #18, by Freda_and_Georgina A Black Christmas

26th December 2013:
I really enjoyed reading this! A little description would have been nice I agree, but the dialogue alone was enough. It was really neat to see all the different perspectives!

Author's Response: I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed this story!
I've hoped to make someone smile a little and if I managed it, it's already a success!
Descriptions aren't my strong suit (I'll try to improve that part), but I'm glad you liked the story just the same.
Thank you very much for your review!!!


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Review #19, by SereneChaos A Black Christmas

24th December 2013:
Oh, the Black family is so complicated, isn't it? I liked reading how they all interacted with each other, and it was interesting to see the different levels of prejudice the family members had towards poor Ted. Something that I think could have improved this story would be just a little bit of description between the dialogue. On it's own, the dialogue says plenty, but details in between would help orient us in knowing which character is saying what. Otherwise, good work, and merry Christmas!

Author's Response: Thank you so so so much for your review! Happy to hear you liked the way the characters interacted, it was fun to write it (obviously I owe everything to JK and the perfect way she portrayed them all).
You're right, I definitely need to improve the descriptive part... I'll try to put more effort in it with my next stories.
A bit late to wish you a Merry Christmas, but still in time to wish you a marvellous 2014!!!
Thanks again!


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