Reading Reviews for I Missed You
  
10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by kjp I Missed You

21st July 2014:
I love Sirius/Marlene stories and I think this one shot just topped as one of my favourites :D

Author's Response: Aw yay :D

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Review #2, by UnluckyStar57 I Missed You

3rd January 2014:
Hi! I have come from the Eighth Day of the Twelve Days of Reviewing to give you a review. :)

Marlene McKinnon! She's not someone I see every day in fanfiction! It was a great change of pace to get inside her head for once, and boy, there are a LOT of things inside her head--most of them about Sirius Black.

Oh dear... Sirius did a vanishing act on Christmas. I can only imagine the amount of torture that he went through at his parents' house to make him hate the holiday so much. That's a terrible thing to go through, made only more terrible by the fact that his friends (who care about him) were all distraught by his disappearance.

However, the story ended on a happier note, yay!! He came back, and he came to Marlene. I can only hope that it means that he likes her, too. The scene at the end was very adorable, and I am so glad that the story did not end with more sadness.

This was a great one-shot! Good luck in the Duel!

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #3, by Infinityx I Missed You

3rd January 2014:
Hi there! I'm here for the eighth day of the 12 days of reviewing challenge.

This was such a lovely story. I think you've done a really good job at conveying the emotions that Marlene is feeling. She'd rather he's with another woman than being tortured. That clearly shows that she cares deeply for him and that she's really desperate to find him.

I also love your characterization of Sirius. The part where he says "Christ McKinnon, I always knew you fancied me. I'm just too good looking not to fall in love with." made me burst out laughing. I could clearly picture him saying something like that.

The relationship between the two seems so natural and realistic and I think you've done an excellent job at writing the story. It also fits in with canon, since Sirius ends up alone in the end, which is extremely sad. These two seem to be perfect for each other.

This was a great story and I loved the bit of fluff in the end. Good job! :)

- Erin

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Review #4, by momotwins I Missed You

27th December 2013:
Aw, I liked this! This is a ship I can get behind. I love that they weren't all sappy, they just snark at each other and then quietly admit some real feelings. Very nicely written! Great job!

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Review #5, by teh tarik I Missed You

22nd December 2013:
Hi there! Congratulations on getting in an entry for the Writers' Duel! This was an incredibly lovely story; it started off a bit bleak but it had a really happy ending...that being said, if you put the story in context with canon events, then it gets rather heartbreaking because of course, Marlene McKinnon is killed in the First Wizarding War and Sirius survives for years and years after that in complete misery in Azkaban. BUT let's try and not think about that... :P

You did a great job creating a sense of Marlene's despair and desperation searching for Sirius, even to the point of wishing that he was with some other woman rather than being in danger. It's clear how much she feels for him. And I love your potrayal of Sirius as well. With the 'Christ McKinnon, I always knew you fancied me. I'm just too good looking not to fall in love with.', you've kind of shown how he's the rather cocky type, with the Marauder-y swagger and everything, but then this image of him is soon broken down when he actually appears in the story, looking really shattered and having smoked and drunk too much. You've done a great job showing the negative impacts his horrible childhood and family have had on him. It's all very realistic and painful to read. Sirius is very much in a vulnerable state, perhaps feeling even more alone than usual in this festive season, and I'm so glad to see that Marlene picks him up, brings him home and comforts him, and that he chooses the spend the night with her rather than go over to his best mate's palce.

It's a really lovely story; the ending was sweet and fluffy and a nice way to end, especially after such a dreary beginning. I think you handled this ship really well!

Lovely writing! Great job on this and best of luck in the Duel!

-teh

Author's Response: Aw thank you for such a lovely review! I've had nothing but positive responses and it really means so much to me! :)

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Review #6, by DracoFerret11 I Missed You

21st December 2013:
Hello there! This is DarkRose from the forums! I decided to read and review all of the Writer's Duel entries! :D So, let's go over things:

Plot: This was a really sweet story. It's the first I've read for prompt four, but I thought you captured the theme very well. I can only imagine where else this story went and it just depresses me to know that Marlene eventually dies, and Sirius's life falls apart. But this was so sweet, with Sirius finally coming home to Marlene. I wish we'd better understood the back-story, but I liked this nonetheless.

Characterization: I liked that you characterized Marlene as almost a part of the Marauders' group. This was the first time I've read a story about her, and I really loved that she was important here. And her thoughts about Sirius helped create him as a believable, canon-like character.

Descriptions: Although this story was character-driven, I think it might help to have more details about how things look, sound, smell, feel, etc. The emotions came across beautifully, but the actual scene was hard to picture.

Emotions: These were great. The moment when Sirius showed up was so lovely. I feel like there would have been an even stronger expression of emotion there, though. It was such a strong moment, but their reactions weren't as strong as I would expect.

Anyhow, this was really sweet and well-written. Good job and good luck in the Duel.

--Emily

Author's Response: Aw thank you! I really enjoy longer and more constructive reviews such as yours, because I feel it really helps me improve my writing. I'm an avid Blackinnon shipper (if you couldn't tell :P) and I'm still hoping JK announces it as canon. There's always hope!
Many people have reviewed my writing and said similar to you, I need to be more descriptive in setting my scenes. I really hope to improve it in the future :)
Thanks for your wishes of luck in the duel :)


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Review #7, by Lululuna I Missed You

20th December 2013:
Hello! :) This was such a heartwarming little story, it was so sweet. I really enjoyed getting a glimpse of Marlene and Sirius' relationship/friendship, and how silly and comfortable they are with each other. Sirius' characterization seemed very canon to me in how he was afraid to let people have the burden of caring for him and how Christmas was especially difficult because of the harsh memories of his family. I also really loved the line about Sirius' voice being "the sound of liquor and a thousand cigarettes," there was something really poetic about it.

Their reunion was sweet as well, and I especially enjoyed the bit where Sirius used her shower gel and she called him out on it, that was a wonderful moment. Then the hints about the war and how times were darker than they seemed was really great as well in reminding the reader how perilous and tense the times were. So the mentions of how loving people was dangerous in that era and her fears about him missing were augmented by the fact of war and all the dangerous people who might have gotten a hold of him. Well done, and good luck with the Duel! :)

Author's Response: Aw thank you! I really enjoyed reading your thoughts on my piece :) Thanks for your luck for the duel, there are so many brilliant entries I don't know how the admins are going to choose!

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Review #8, by APerkins I Missed You

16th December 2013:
ahh that was really well written, I enjoyed reading that. How nice!
thankyou, happy christmas !

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

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Review #9, by MissesWeasley123 I Missed You

16th December 2013:
You know, I've missed you too. Like, your stories. This... oh boy, this is perfection. And let this be the first Writer's Duel entry I read and review!

Your work with Sirius is as perfect as ever. I seriously cannot even express my love for this piece. Your imagery and sense of relationship in all your pieces are flawless. The way you work with words is amazing, and I love it. Absolutely brilliant.

When you write, you make me believe. And live the story. This was the cutest thing ever, and I love it so much. This by far was one of the hardest prompts given, I believe, and you made such good use of it. Really excellent work!

Author's Response: Aw thank you so much! I think I'm just good at writing Sirius and no one else, haha!

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Review #10, by Gred I Missed You

16th December 2013:
And this is me returning your review! This is very good - a great pretty-much-canon couple, Sirius and Marlene, I always think (Sorry, assuming this was the build up to a relationship... it usually is?). It's a good job I didn't do prompt four; I'd be worried about the competition!

Author's Response: Fingers crossed that JK actually announces it as canon! Yes, it's the build up, Christmas of sixth year.

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