Reading Reviews for Mince Pies and Sherry
  
6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MissesWeasley123 Mince Pies and Sherry

3rd January 2014:
Hi there! I'm here for day 8 of the 12 Days of Reviewing challenge at the forums. This entry for the duel was way too cute.

This was adorable. The Weasleys are the world's best family, and what's hard is that everyone is so different and unique, and you wrote everyone so well. Even the Potters, so perhaps I should say you wrote the Wotters brilliantly.

I think the little things are what made this piece so great. The fact that Arthur and Ron know how to use a phone, but then Audrey! :(

You showed the essence of family so well, and I really hope you win for that reason. You truly have a talent for showing togetherness and friendship so well with words, you do not need pictures or film to depict it but you simply showed such vivid pictures, it was honestly beautiful. Everything about ti was great, and I truly loved it.

Arthur leaned back into his armchair, clutching his glass of sherry. He looked happily around the room, watching people's smiles by the flickering firelight. Whatever crazy things could happen to his family, right now they could pass for normal.

^That was brilliant. What an amazing way to end it. I seriously enjoyed it and it was so sweet and peaceful.

Great work, and good luck for the duel!

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you so much!

I completely agree with you; the Weasleys are amazing, and such fun to write! I try to write the characters true to canon, while giving them some of my own input.

I love writing the little things! I think they make a story. It took a long time for Ron and Arthur to learn to use a telephone, and a lot of perseverance on Hermione's part! I apologise for Audrey... :(

Thank you so much - that really means a lot. Seriously, this just made me so happy. That's really the feeling I want to create when I write - I'm really glad that I managed it, and that you picked this up.

Thank you for this wonderful review! I didn't win anything in the duel, but thank you for your tidings of good luck!

Happy New Year!


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Review #2, by momotwins Mince Pies and Sherry

25th December 2013:
Oh jeez. They are all a mess, aren't they? Harry's kids can't get it together, Ron's kids seem determined to kill themselves, poor Molly seems to be cooking for 50 all by herself. But hey, Arthur's learned how to use a telephone! And so has Ron! haha. That made me smile. I bet Hermione gave them a bunch of lessons on it. Ron calling his dad and not actually getting any help cracked me up.

Awww poor Perce. That was a crap thing for her to do, right at Christmas without warning. I'm glad George went to get him, I think that was a nice touch - I can see them being closer after the battle.

So, I like the ending, and I really enjoyed this piece. Loved Hugo saying "It was just because you love me so much", haha. Little boy confidence. Merry Christmas!

Author's Response: Yes, the Weasley's are in complete shambles - especially on Christmas Day. But Arthur even installed a telephone, and now everyone can talk to each other (Hermione had her work cut out.)!

Poor Percy :( He doesn't deserve it, but he was my scapegoat for my story needing something more. I'm glad you picked up on George and Percy - I did that because I felt like they would be close, after the battle.

Thank you so much for this wonderful review. It was lovely to read. Merry Christmas!


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Review #3, by teh tarik Mince Pies and Sherry

22nd December 2013:
Hello there! Congrats on getting in an entry for the Winter Writers' Duel! I have to say that I really, really enjoyed this story. This is a perfect Christmas family fic, and you did a marvellous job showing all the chaos of family reunions (something which I enjoy reading about. I especially like how you separated the story into segments to show all the troubles faced by each Weasley and their respective families. Gah, I was snickering a little at all the groaning, bellowing, head-banging on dashboards, and then that sad moment with Percy, which completely took me by surprise :( I do think Audrey was way too harsh to leave him on Christmas. :( But it also provided great contrast to all the fun light-hearted disorder of the other families, and it did sober the mood up a fair bit.

I love that final segment, which tied the whole story together. You really evoked a beautiful scene, which certainly did make all that trouble preparing worth it.

Molly served mince pies and sherry, with Butterbeer for the children. Someone put a slow-moving Christmas record on the old record player, and drew the curtains against the first flakes of snow. The evening drew in, the talk slowed, and family stretched themselves over the furniture spread across the room. Board games appeared, calling up forgotten rivalry and spirited competitiveness, and some of the children set up a dancing space behind the sofas.

^ This is a lovely, lovely paragraph, and I adored how everything has quieted down to this really comfortable feeling. I imagine Percy will find this temporarily consoling, to be around his beloved family (or he could be even more depressed seeing all his siblings' families and beign without his own children :( ).

Anyway, this was a lovely read! I enjoyed this and I think you did a great job with the prompt. Good luck with the Duel! :D

-teh

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you very much! I'm glad you really, really enjoyed this story (thank you!). I really liked doing the story for many different perspectives, and then combining them for a big family reunion. It's good that you were snickering - I tried to write a slightly amusing, chaotic Christmas.

Poor Percy :(... Audrey was very harsh. I felt the story needed something extra, less lighthearted, to add another dimension, but apparently it was a large shock to a lot of people!

I'm glad you like this paragraph; I really like it too. That scene is just my ideal Christmas, after the chaotic morning. Hopefully Percy won't get too bogged down, and I imagine his nephews and nieces will help to console him, as well.

Thank you very much for this review. It was very lovely. Also thank you for the tidings of good luck! Merry Christmas!

- Lily


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Review #4, by Lululuna Mince Pies and Sherry

20th December 2013:
Hi there! Ah, this was just the funniest and most adorable story and had me giggling slightly the whole time. I loved the casual disasters going on at Harry's and Ron's, though I felt so sorry for poor Percy! :( That was such a sad, unexpected section. :P

My favourite parts of the story were possibly the little comic asides, like how Albus couldn't get the doorknob to turn, and how Hugo told Hermione she fainted because she loved him too much, and how the car broke down. Then there were some lovely little details like how Arthur installed the telephone himself, which was a great nod to him in canon and which I can completely imagine him doing!

I especially love how Ron was written throughout the story, he was so goofy and wry and I really enjoyed him. But I think my favourite line was near the end when Ginny and Hermione were discussing lovely things and occasionally their children, indicating, as seen throughout the story, that their children are not lovely. :P That was a great detail and really made me snicker to myself, haha. Wonderful job with this and good luck in the Writer's Duel! :)

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you so much for this wonderful review!

Yes, poor Percy. I felt like the story needed a little more depth, and it had to come at the expense of someone... He has all his family around to help him through it, though. Hopefully it wasn't too much of a shock (to you)!

I love adding the little things, like Albus-and-the-doorknob, I think they really make a story. I love writing Ron, as well, I'm glad you liked him.

The funny/strange thing is, your favourite line was one I really wasn't sure about, in relation to the flow of the piece. I guess your comment's convinced me to keep it in, if I go back to edit it!

Thank you for the review, and for the good luck wishing!


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Review #5, by DracoFerret11 Mince Pies and Sherry

20th December 2013:
Hello there! This is DarkRose from the forums! I decided to read and review all of the Writer's Duel entries! :D So, let's go over things:

Plot: This was so cute! I really loved the idea of a Weasley family Christmas, and I liked that you switched between all the families. Great job with making everyone unique and quite close to canon. More on characterization in the next bullet point. Anyhow, I really think you pulled this off. It was quite charming!

Characterization: Okay! So we have a ZILLION characters in this story and I loved almost all of them. Harry was so funny and cute. I liked that he was the one on schedule and his family was running late. Ginny reminded me of my dad: "Yeah, yeah, I know what I'm wearing, I'll get ready soon." Their kids were great too. I really laughed when the car broke down and the boys made fun of Harry for it! Then we have Ron and his family. He was great! Normally, I don't really like Ron in fanfiction, but this was really wonderful. His conversation with Arthur was flawless. I'm not sure I rally liked Hermione fainting, though. That was really out of character to me. I would think she would be a lot more calm and collected. Their kids were good too. :) Arthur and Molly were spot-on. I'm sure they would be the sweetest grandparents ever. And Percy! Oh Percy. I felt so, so bad for him. He was so great and you really made me sympathize with him. I was really moved. Poor guy...

Descriptions: I think I would have liked more details about how things looked, sounded, felt, smelled, etc. It would have helped me feel "in the story." But I loved the interactions between characters. All the chaos reminded me of my family holidays.

Emotions: Really great job giving readers everything from stress to joy to sadness to love in this. It was a roller coaster, and I liked it a lot.

Overall, you did a wonderful job! Good luck in the Duel and have a happy holiday!

--Emily

Author's Response: Hello, Emily - wow! Where to start? This is probably the longest review I've ever received!

First off, thank you for all the compliments! My idea of a brilliant Christmas is a Weasley Christmas, complete with catastrophes galore!

I really understand your point about Hermione's characterisation. As I was writing it, I felt it wasn't quite right, but I was a little rushed for time, and I tried to justify it a little at the end, with Hermione worrying that she doesn't usually faint, but it didn't really work out in my head. I might have thought of something better with a bit more time...

I also would have loved to add more descriptions (would you believe it, I usually have far too many), but it was written in a rush, and I tend to get the storyline down without writing the fun bits :(

I really enjoy writing the different family relationships, and I'm glad you (mostly) liked my characterisation. I loved the bit between Harry and his sons in the car, and the conversation between Ron and Arthur. I'm glad you liked Ron - it always seems to me like he's a really underrated character (in fanfiction).

Thank you for reviewing (I love, love, love this review), and for all your tips. Have a Merry Christmas!

- Lily


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Review #6, by Fonzzx Mince Pies and Sherry

16th December 2013:
Well, it's just not Christmas unless everyone's late and falling out! I rather enjoyed this :)

Author's Response: Haha, yes, I completely agree! Thank you very much :)

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