7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by bellatrixlestrange123 O Christmas Tree!

10th February 2014:
FIRST PLACE! *squel*

Ok, So I know that I have already reviewed this story but I just wanted to pop back again and formally congratulate you for writing a winning piece!

I chose this story for first place because I really liked where you went with it plot wise and you managed to bring that plot alive in a way that was funny, entertaining and an overall great read! I know that there was no specific genre to the challenge and in no way do I mean to be bias towards a light hearted read, but it seemed to work for you and that is why I think that this was the over all winning piece!

So once again, congratulations and keep up the amazing work!

Author's Response: I was really surprised to see that you'd left another review on this one-shot! Thank you so much for awarding me first place though! I hadn't thought I would place but this was a really pleasant surprise.

Thank you for the many compliments! I was hoping that it would be entertaining and funny to read but I wasn't entirely sure because I couldn't even make myself laugh while reading it.

Thank you so much for the lovely review and for awarding me first place!

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Review #2, by MissesWeasley123 O Christmas Tree!

7th January 2014:
Hello! Here for day 12 of the 12 days of reviewing! This is so perfect actually, I'm so glad it got second place, you did the Weasley Christmas really well and it was really really funny, basically hilarious the entire time. Your comedy was never forced and that was great. And especially that last line! LOL!

Fred and Roxanne seem like excellent siblings and they were such a funny duo. We usually forget about them in fan fiction but they were positively hilarious in this! I could not have laughed any harder haha! It was nice to see them like Fred and George, pranking people and being really funny. You write comedy brilliantly and this is great great humorous one shot.

It was complete mayhem! From the chickens to the apron choice everything was hilarious! I was there with the family, and your descriptions are amazing. You really write brilliantly and have a talent for comedy you should definitely write more stuff like this. It's great to see how you can write something like Meddling Aphrodite, and then this.

Absolutely brilliant! And congrats on the win :)
- Nadia

Author's Response: I remember reading the beginning of this review before I went and looked at the results on the forums and I was so confused because I didn't know what you were talking about when you said second place.

But anyway, I'm so glad to hear that you enjoyed it and that you thought it was really amusing (I felt like I was forcing the comedy a little bit while I was writing but you are always your worst critic).

I had originally planned on making this one-shot with Rose and Hugo but I changed my mind when I realised that Fred and Roxanne don't get a lot of action time in fanfiction. Plus, I think they would be more likely to have everything go wrong than anyone else.

And *cue the giggling* it means a lot to me that you think I write comedy brilliantly. Humor is definitely my favourite thing to write because it's a lot of fun and there are actually quite a few one-shots featuring Lily Potter II and her muggle mayhem.

Thank you so much for this review it just made my day and now I can't stop smiling!

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Review #3, by ReeBee O Christmas Tree!

28th December 2013:
Hi there!

I was looking for a story with no banner (for the second day of the twelve days of reviewing competition) and this looked super interesting. And it totally was!!

I loved it! And how especially the chaos didn't happen until the end! Amazing! Super fun! And so so funny! Great!

I loved the characterisation of Fred and Roxanne! And how Roxanne was stronger than Fred! And I absolutely LOVED how Fred always screamed at Roxanne to use her wand!

I have like no CC! Great job! The description was really good too! :D

Good luck in the Writers Duel! :)

-ReeBee :)

Author's Response: Hey, I'm so glad that you found your way over to the one-shot! I'm also very glad to hear that you enjoyed it!

I was hoping that everyone would find it funny and amusing and like it. Something cheerful for the Christmas holidays.

But seriously, I'm very happy that you enjoyed it (and as a side note, this wasn't written for the Writer's Duel).

Thanks for the wonderful review!

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Review #4, by Violet Gryfindor O Christmas Tree!

27th December 2013:
That last line! lol, it was perfect! And Hugo's line just before that, as though it had come right out of his mother's mouth. XD You portrayed the next generation wonderfully in this story!

The plot of this reminded me a bit of Mr. Bean's Christmas where one thing after another goes terribly wrong. It made for a wonderfully comical story, though I did feel bad for the two of them - they put in a lot of effort, but it just wasn't working out at all. And you used repetition to your advantage with the way Fred had to remind Roxanne about using her wand to put out the fires (though she came by it honestly, seeing that none of the assembled family had their wands at the ready). The part I found the most funny, however, was when they switched aprons. That scene was amazingly done, and I loved the image of it, with Fred in the ruffles and Roxanne arm-wrestling him for the cooler apron. That was a lot of fun!

Another thing that stood out was how this kind of thing happens every year, as though the Potter-Weasley children are cursed to absolutely mess up the holiday dinner. Perhaps what's funnier is that their parents continue to allow them to be in charge despite the cousins' track record. You really can't fault the cousins for creativity, though - they try all sorts of exciting things, and it's just too bad that none of them seem to work out. :P

There are a couple of things I'm wondering about. First of all, how did Fred get himself into that mess outside? You don't need to explain this in the story - I like the idea that it just happens and distracts Roxanne from the turkey, but I'm still curious. Did he try to use magic to feed the chickens and it backfired on him? Or did the gnomes cause trouble? Another question regards the turkey - do the Weasleys have a fast-cooking oven because it burned really fast, or did I miss something? I do like the idea of a magical oven, though - it's just the kind of convenience that would appeal to magical folk. The only other thing would be to give this story a good read through once the queue re-opens so that you can fix the grammar and smooth out the writing. One major one that stood out was this line of dialogue: Yes, Iím sure now would you relax? - there should be a period after "sure". It's all little things like that, all easy to fix. :)

Great work on this story! It made for a fun holiday read. ^_^

Author's Response: The ending was my favourite part myself. Personally, I think it was one of the best parts of the one-shot but that may just be me.

I hadn't even thought of it being like Mr. Bean's Christmas but I suppose it is what with everything going wrong. It seems that the Weasleys and Potters are destined to have disastrous holidays no matter how hard they try. Fighting over which apron to wear seemed like something that Fred and Roxanne would do given their personalities in this.

I think that all of the adults are secretly hoping that maybe one of their children/nephews/nieces won't blow up anything so that's why they keep giving them so much control over Christmas.

Well, the way that Fred got into the situation with the chicken feed and everything was that he was carrying it outside to feed the chickens and accidentally tripped over a garden gnome. He fell, the open bag of chicken feed spilled all over him. The chickens started pecking because of the food and the gnomes were trying to get back at him for almost crushing one of their own.

In my head I think that the Weasleys have an oven that cooks food faster so that you don't have to wait as long to eat (that would be a brilliant invention in the muggle world).

I've just gone and read through the one-shot and fixed some of the things that have been pointed out to me so it should be better than the original. Thanks so much for your lovely review!

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Review #5, by Bellatrixlestrange123 O Christmas Tree!

22nd December 2013:
Here to review for the nightmare before christmas challenge!

Now, I know that it's very bad of me as a reader to judge a 'book by it's cover' or a 'A fanfic by it's summery' but hey, summery's have to count for something and yours most certainly held the right amount of 'good mood' to lure me in!

Ah, okay so this is the first challenge entry so far that has a 'humorous' and light hearted theme and considering that, it was very lovely and fresh to read!

I loved how you made the fact that Christmas never ever went to plan at the burrow quite prominent as soon as the story kicked off. But hey, that's what the whole challenge is about right?

Also, I loved the way you were able to recall back and tell us about almost every screw up the weasley/potter's have managed to execute on christmas day. It really made the chapter all that more authentic.

All I can say now is, well done for the lovely effort and thank you for taking part! Also, Goodluck!

Bella x

Author's Response: Hello there!

Don't worry, I judge books by their covers as well so I understand where you're coming from. It's a habit that I've tried to stop but it's not working out so well. I'm glad to hear that the summary lured you in however, good to know that I'm doing one thing right!

I noticed that this was the first one that was light-hearted. I took a look at some of the other entries and they all sounded so dark.

That was indeed the whole point of the challenge. As soon as you created the challenge actually, it screamed out Weasley to me.

Thank you so much for the lovely review and the awesome challenge!

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Review #6, by patronus_charm O Christmas Tree!

16th December 2013:
Oh Merlin, this one-shot had me laughing all the way through! It was just so mad and bizarre and I really didnít have a clue what was going to happen next, but for that it was a perfect Weasley family Christmas.

I loved the background to this with them all describing how pervious Christmases had failed. I really wish that Jamesís one could be expanded upon in another one-shot because Iím just picturing the chaos in my head right now and itís not pretty in the slightest! It was also really great because we got a snapshot of each of the cousinsí lives and that was really nice because though it was a one-shot, it felt really complete because of that.

Fred and Roxanne were really brilliant together! I liked the fact that they got on really well and had this wonderful humour about them because it was something akin to Fred and George. I think it was mainly due to their apron choice which had me giggling because it was something so like them, and gave me nice feels about Fred rather than the angsty ones which usually happen, so that was a great change.

With the way the chickens had begun to attack Fred and then the dinner burning for Roxanne I really thought that was going to be their major problem. It just seemed to be going downhill but with the dinner ruined, I thought that would be it so one the grand finale came along it really was a big surprise. One small other note, the mention about the fire extinguisher was great because it just seemed so Arthurish.

I think the fact her dad gave them to her is a pretty big pointer that they may want to think twice about using those fireworks :P I really liked the suspense there, because initially I was just like crap the house is going to go down any second run for yours lives, then it disappeared with them being at dinner and it was all calm and quiet and then it burst onto the scene perfectly!

The closing really topped off it by showing how crazy the Weasley family really are and I just couldnít stop laughing. I never expected this one-shot to turn out like this, and Iím so glad that it did because I really did love it! Thanks for a great read, Grace!


Author's Response: Kiana hi there!

First off, I'm very happy to hear that this had you laughing the entire way through it, I was hoping that it would be funny but I wasn't too sure about it.

I'm beginning to think of writing a one-shot about James and the Veritaserum since people are mentioning that it would be interesting to see but perhaps I'll save that for next Christmas.

I was originally only going to have Roxanne in the one-shot but then I thought, why wouldn't Fred be in the one-shot as well? They are brother and sister and twice the fun/disaster you know? They are very Fred and George aren't they, I hadn't even really meant for that to happen but it seems like it did.

Just when you think that things can't get any worse, Fred and Roxanne burn down a part of the Burrow. I had originally planned on just getting the Christmas tree to light on fire but I figured that I might as well go one step further with it.

I thought I was giving away the ending by mentioning those fireworks so I figured everyone would know what would happen in the end.

Thank you so much for the awesome review Kiana!

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Review #7, by toomanycurls O Christmas Tree!

16th December 2013:

I like the idea of a disasterous Christmas story. The holidays are quite a burden so there's always a lot that can go wrong. In a large family that risk seems to naturally expand manifold.

Veritiserum on a cake had to be interesting - that could almost be its own story! The idea of hosting such a large Christmas at 18/19 is intimidating. I'm well past that and haven't had to do more than a veggie tray!

haha, cleaning the house in a pink frilly apron? Oh the thought is giving me the giggles. Roxanne sounds very helpful :P Oh boy, after the yard fiasco, I can't believe the turkey caught fire! What a bad luck Christmas.

The tree happened with relatively minor incident, which is good after their tough time getting everything else in order. Oh dear, that is until dinner. I guess the fireworks were bound to act up from time to time.

:( it's sad but still manages to be light-hearted that they burned a hole in the wall.

You've really managed to write a comdedy of errors for poor Fred and Roxanne! I like that it's super light hearted and really pokes fun at the young kids trying to do Christmas for their family.

Just a quick note, family names, and most nouns actually, are pluralized by adding an s, not apostrophe s. If a noun ends in an s, such as Christmas, it is pluralized by adding es to the end of the word. It should be Potters, Weasleys, and Christmases. Pluralizing is hard because it's something we all know how to say but writing it out correctly can be a pain. There are also a few word choice/grammar mistakes I noticed. Bight should be bite, turkey shouldn't be capitalized, and I think that was all.

Awesome story!

Author's Response: Hey there again!

I always imagined the Weasley/Potter family to be a bit of a safety hazard around Christmas time because I imagine that they all leave their Christmas shopping until the very last minute so the chances of someone getting hurt are much higher.

Veritaserum in a cake would be an interesting story, I wonder how you would actually end up getting it into the cake or why you would even have Veritaserum with you in the first place.

I think I'd hide myself in a closet and not come out until everything was ready if I had to host dinner for that many people. That being said, I don't think I would ever be put in charge of something that big.

I'd forgotten exactly how fun it is to write disasters until I got back into writing one about Christmas. I'm so glad that you enjoyed it though!

I noticed the grammar errors as well but thank you for pointing out the ones that I didn't notice. I'll keep in mind to go back and fix them once the queue opens up again. I noticed the mistakes once the story got published and I cringed so hard it hurt.

Thank you for the absolutely lovely review!

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