13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by amuggle_ephemeral_tale You Can Find Me Under the Mistletoe

9th August 2014:
Its absolutely adorable! Kudos :)))

Author's Response: Aw, thanks. Ton of fluff! Thanks for R&R! XOXO

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Review #2, by Lady Asphodel You Can Find Me Under the Mistletoe

9th July 2014:
Hello, hello, hello!

First and foremost, you've blown me away with this one-shot! I ship James & Lily, but I haven't actually gotten read-read about these two! Reading this... has really opened my eyes for them! I even want to write about James & Lily of my own!


But before I get too way over my head, let me just say your writing was excellent! So descriptive - but not overwhelmingly - which is a great thing and shows how much of an amazing writer you are! It's so hard to find a balance between "showing" and "telling" yet you managed it! Keep it up my dear! I feel I can learn from you!


I can actually feel the Christmas-y feel you established and the blooming, very-well paced romance between Evans and Potter (now James and Lily), and the warmth you brought by having them secluded on the seventh floor! This to me... feels like canon! I'd definitely believe this is how Harry parents got together!


Again, you did an incredible job writing this! I enjoyed reading this so much! And I love it! Adding this to my faves! ♥ ♥ ♥



~ House Cup 2014 Review: Event 5


- Asphodel

Author's Response: Hi!

Jily (merlin, I hate to say this ship like that) was one of my first favorite ships! Although the ending between the two is always predictable (duh, they had a kid together), it is always sweet to read & write. =D So, I am glad you enjoy this pair.

THANK YOU A TON! I took days and days editing and adding to get the descriptions right. I am glad to see it paid off. I really did try my best!

Thanks so much for R&R! ^__^


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Review #3, by ohmymerlin You Can Find Me Under the Mistletoe

7th July 2014:
Hello!

AWWW! I LOVE James and Lily and I think you did such a beautiful job on them! I loved how Lily, although she was acting distrustful on him at the beginning of their date, totally secretly loved it! And James was so cute being all bouncy and stuff!

I loved the snowball fight! And then the snow angels was such a nice touch! It's so cute seeing Lily bring her Muggle life into Hogwarts and teaching clueless Purebloods, haha! But then James seemed to enjoy it, hehe!

And that kiss was so passionate, oh my god. I absolutely loved it. Seriously, THAT KISS. Wow! You wrote it so spectacularly!

A definite 10/10 from me!

- Kayla :)

House Cup 2014 review

Author's Response: HIYA! ^___^

I am really glad you like this. Yes, I can only imagine Lily holding deeper feelings for James, but in denial. James has grown, but she always knew him as a prat. So, when he is maturing and catching her interest, I can only imagine her having an internal conflict.

Yes, everyone says in canon Lily is a witch, but she is always muggle-born! And pureblood may be so naive to the muggle world. She could teach me a thing or two.

I am glad you think the kiss was passionate. I wanted to seem like it was built-up tension pouring out at the moment!

ANYWHO!

Thanks so much for R&R! =D


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Review #4, by Meri113 You Can Find Me Under the Mistletoe

31st March 2014:
This is one of the best Lily/James stories I have ever read :) very well-written and true to the characters' personalities. thanx for the beautiful story!!

Author's Response: no, THANK YOU for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed it and felt they were true the characters as well. It encourages me to eventually write a story with this ship again =D

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Review #5, by writeyourheartout You Can Find Me Under the Mistletoe

4th January 2014:
Hi there! I'm here for the 12 Days of Reviewing challenge on the forums, and it's a special bonus that today's task is to review eight Writer's Duel entries - something I've been planning to do anyway! ^.^

This was just too cute! I just love James/Lily stories and I think you did a really good job handling the two of them, both as individuals and as a pair!

I love the way your portrayed Lily as she's stuck figuring out her feelings for James; desperately holding onto her denial for as long as she can. Two of my favorite moments of hers were when she draws the snitch in the fogged up window condensation and when James puts her earmuffs on for her. Ah, it's adorable! She's trying so hard to deny her feelings, but they keep peeking through in the cutest ways! I love it!

James is so great in this. I mean, how could you not fall in love with this version of him, amiright? hehehe I think you've done an excellent job at catching the best side of him - the silly, sweet, lovable and kind side - while still leaving room for his hair-mussing and immaturity. It's a perfect balance and exactly how I see James during these sorts of situations.

The two together - ah, so cute! Honestly, a lot of the time when I read flirty scenes in fanfiction, I can't help but to cringe because it's usually so corny and too mushy and cutesy for me, but you, my friend, hit the nail on the head with this. It's just the most realistic flirting I've read in a long time and I really appreciate it. The name exchange section was really cute; I couldn't stop grinning.

Characterization is definitely your strong suit. You should be very proud of your ability to understand characters and create and mold them to fit into certain scenarios in fun and believable ways. I truly enjoyed your James and Lily. The plot was adorable and sweet and made me all sorts of giddy!

All of that said, you did struggle a bit on the technical side. I've pointed out a few of those details below!

""No," she whispered irritably, gazing back outside. After a few moments, she closed her eyes and sighed" - You forgot a period here.

."You better get going." - Stray period at the beginning of this paragraph.

"Lily gave once (one, not once) last huff and collected her things..."

"You'll break out in *serve fungi if you break it." - Not sure about this, but I think you meant to say 'severe fungi', not serve?

"If I received a better grade than you (on) the essay on werewolves..."

"She examined the contours of his muscular face..." - This is totally an opinion thing, but there's something really bizarre in my opinion about describing someone's face as muscular... haha I feel like there are more fitting adjectives out that, should you feel inclined to experiment! :-p

"A snowball fight which Lily hasn't (hadn't, not hasn't) had in ages." - You switch from past to present tense here.

"Petunia was a *prune and sometimes seemed to almost hate Lily." - Not sure, but I think you meant to say 'prude', not prune?

"What (Want, not What) to go to Hogsmade?"

Here: "Her heart silently and unconsciously praying that he would swept (sweep, not swept) her into an embrace." and here: "Her eyes averted to his face, feeling a blush crept (creep, not crept) onto her cheeks." - You slip into present tense in both of these places.

"She shook her head and he looked forward as they continue(d) to hike up staircase after staircase(.)"

"Lily('s) eyes trailed on a marble fireplace with a giant wreath above it..."

There were more little errors like these in the story, but I need to wrap this review up, so I would just suggest taking a slow stroll through your fic either on your own or with a friend/beta who specialized in nitpicking out those technical details; it will bring this story to a whole new level! It's already so great, too, so just imagine! ^.^

I thoroughly enjoyed this story. From start to finish I had a goofy grin on my face and a nervous flutter in my tummy. You did a great job and I'm going to have to check to see if you have any other Marauder fics on your page! And if not, you should really revisit them, because you wrote these two really well. Yay! :-D

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review. It truly put a smile on my face to see how much you enjoyed it. And thank you for pointing out many of my errors and acting like an editor. I will definitely fix those ASAP!

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Review #6, by Infinityx You Can Find Me Under the Mistletoe

3rd January 2014:
Hi there! I'm here for the eighth day of the 12 days of reviewing challenge.

This was a really sweet story. The chemistry between Lily and James is undeniable. I love how you've portrayed it so clearly in your story. The choice between fungi and James was a nice, humorous touch. The flow was so natural and their interactions were so realistic. I love your characterization of both of them.

I absolutely love your description of the Room of Requirement. You've put in so many details that just make the whole thing so vivid and so easy to imagine. It totally gives the whole Christmas-ey feel to the story.

The ending was beautiful as well. I love how you put in that intimate, sexual moment between them. The story had a good balance of lighthearted banter and humor as well as heated passion. I think it was lovely. Great job! :)

- Erin

Author's Response: thank you so much for your review. =D

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Review #7, by momotwins You Can Find Me Under the Mistletoe

25th December 2013:
They're really cute together. You write them with good chemistry. I liked your descriptions and how the story flowed. It felt very Christmasy and romantic and sweet, and I like romantic and sweet ;) Awww so cute! Really it was just a delightful story all-around. Merry Christmas!

Author's Response: Thank you so much. Glad you enjoyed the story for the holidays. And Merry Christmas to you too

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Review #8, by teh tarik You Can Find Me Under the Mistletoe

20th December 2013:
Hello there! Congrats on getting an entry in and successfully completing the Writers' Duel! :)

This is such a lovely story, and that's saying a lot from me, seeing as I don't really read a lot of Lily/James or Marauder Era stories in general. But I really enjoyed this; it was such a fun and fluffy story to read. There was a great balance of humour and romance, banter and softer, more tender moments between Lily and James. You had some really lovely descriptive bits as well. I absolutely loved the opening bit with Lily thinking of James and tracing an outline of a Snitch on the frosty window glass. It really is such a perfect detail, and it's a great indicator of her feelings for him, despite all her denial and whatever she says to him, initially.

The Room of Requirement scene was absolutely lovely. You've clearly taken a lot of trouble writing that scene, and it really works. It's so vivid and I can just imagine that version of the room with all the shiny Christmassy decorations and Lily and James all dressed up.

Pine cones and bits of holly berries peeked out from the grass of the wreath. On the ledge of the fireplace, snow draped magically glittering. Beneath the ledge, enchanted icicles were hanging with a glossy icy clear color and ragged. A drop would rarely slip from the frozen spears, but when it did, it left a frozen puddle on the hardwood floor and evaporating in the air as sliver glitter. The crackling of the fire, caught Lilyís attention, as the flames danced, licking the firewood and sending the smell of cedar in the air. Perfectly sat the scarlet loveseat in front of the fireplace, illuminated by the intense fire. A low coffee table had two butterbeers, gingerbread cookies and peppermints in a bowl set upon it. She looked further down in the room which had dark wood bookshelves aligned, hosting shabby books.

^ This has got to be my favourite part of the story! So much descriptive goodness, and such a vivid evocation of the setting! :)

I loved the interactions between the two as well; there are plenty of light-hearted moments, but there's a lot of intimacy as well, and I could feel the romantic (and I'm going to say sexual as well :P ) tension between the two. The ending was very fitting!

Great work with this story! It was a lovely read; best of luck with the Duel!

-teh

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your detailed review, I was grinning ear to ear and I can't even begin to tell you how much your review meant to me. Thank you for taking your time to read it and I'm super glad you enjoyed it. XOXO

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Review #9, by Lululuna You Can Find Me Under the Mistletoe

20th December 2013:
Hello! :) What a lovely Christmas Jily story! I liked the hints at the beginning that Lily might not have hated James quite as much as she let on, and her journey throughout the day of being charmed by him was very sweet. They clearly have some great chemistry and can have fun and be silly together, as shown by the snowball fight, but then there were some deeper and more emotional moments too which were very touching to read about.

The idea of the bet and how Lily had to go on the date with him or face the fungi was a great idea of how she would actually agree, and I loved the little detail about the essay on werewolves. Lily whispering that Remus was a werewolf was a nice detail too since it showed how she was close enough with the Marauders to know about that, but thoughtful enough not to announce it so that anybody could overhear.

Something I really enjoyed about the story were the descriptions of how Hogwarts and the Room of Requirement were decorated for Christmas. There were some really beautiful images in there which just made me feel very Christmassy and happy! :) Good job with this story, and good luck in the Duel! :)

Author's Response: Thank you for your very detailed review. And noticing the amount of details I put into this. You literally made my heart flutter and put a smile onto my face. Thank you very much

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Review #10, by alexandra bester You Can Find Me Under the Mistletoe

18th December 2013:
i love it
not very realistic though- not possible to go from hate to love so quickly...
BUT STILL I LOVED IT
the cut Christmas love st0ry I need
xoxoxoxoxxox

Author's Response: thanks very much ^__^
and it wasn't really love to hate.
The opening scene did have Lily drawing a Snitch which was meant for James (although she did deny it). And at the end, she did realize she was falling in love with him, like she couldn't deny it anymore.
Just to make it clear =]


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Review #11, by MissesWeasley123 You Can Find Me Under the Mistletoe

16th December 2013:
Wow. This is great.

I thought you pulled off literally everything so well. From Lily, to James, characterization definitely was one of the best thingsin this piece.

I've never really thought of Lily as a girl, like, lol I have, but not in a girly way. I loved the little moments where she realizes that she does want to kiss him, and that for me made me squee in glee because it was adorable.

James is so sweet. I don't understand how people out there can write him so wonderfully, and he's always such a fun character and really dreamy. Can he exist in real life? ;)

All in all, you did a wonderful job with the prompt for the Duel. Excellent work, and good luck!

Author's Response: thank you very much

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Review #12, by Grizzly You Can Find Me Under the Mistletoe

15th December 2013:
Amazing writing baby. Very detailed in the actions and the story was great. Love you

Author's Response: thank you so much for your support

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Review #13, by ShieldPatronus4212 You Can Find Me Under the Mistletoe

15th December 2013:
Love it! :) It was really well written, I have seriously been looking for a good story like this, and this one is perfect!! Great job with the characterization and descriptions. Well done.

Author's Response: Thank you so much =D

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