1 Reviews Found

Review #1, by maskedmuggle A Wizarding Bedtime story

30th December 2013:

Here for the 12 Days of Reviewing but I was also really intrigued by your story summary and of the idea of a wizarding creation myth - there's so many imaginative things you can do with that, and I was really eager to read an interpretation of it! This is actually probably one of the first wizarding bedtime stories that I've read, and I'm surprised I haven't come across/read more stories like this on the archive (although there probably are a few more out there).

I really liked how magical the whole fairytale felt. I also loved how unique/original I thought this one-shot was. I really liked how there were 2 groups of people: the human and the Fey - I thought the idea of the wall worked really well. I also really liked the idea of a girl and a boy, both who felt confined within the walls - such an idea feels really realistic and believable.

I was a bit confused between these two paragraphs: "..but for all the effort, power, and magic of the Fey, they could not make her forget." and "Each night, as the moon was rising its high arc up into the sky, they would meet back on the wall sharing stories of their life on the other side, and each night the people from both sides grew more and more suspicious of their disappearances. The reason is because the first "they" refers to all the Fey whereas I think the second "they" refers to the boy and the girl. Maybe you'd like to just clarify that, because it took me a few seconds to understand what was happening there.

Once I understood that though, everything made sense, and the idea of magic being given to a human thus leading to the creation of wizards/witches actually made some sort of sense/was believable. Also, although the dad/daughter's relationship wasn't that integral to the overall fairytale story, I did like how you portrayed them to be - I liked how close they were and how caring the father was. All in all, really interesting fic/story and well written too - I really enjoyed reading it and basically loved your creation story!
- Charlotte

Author's Response: Thanks, it was really fun to write and I love hearing feedback like this. I've noticed a few spots that need fixing in this story as well but I haven't gotten around to editing it yet. This is actually an earlier story of mine (my first HP one shot) that I posted on another Fanfiction site so it's not as good as I would like really. I would have responded sooner but I haven't been on since the staff when on that break they had, leaving me with a Christmas one-shot I couldn't upload. So here I am about to upload it and I see the review. Thanks for making me smile there and thanks again! :]

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