Reading Reviews for One Blaze of Glory
  
34 Reviews Found

Review #1, by LightLeviosa5443 In Cups of Coffee

8th April 2014:
So, I guess I'm going to make your day even though you're expecting this review. But that's okay.

I really liked this chapter. I liked how enthusiastic Marietta was, and how Romulus made some rude comments then rolled over back to sleep. Guys do that far too often. It's so infuriating. Marietta in the coffee shop was so funny. Oh my gosh, if I was that girl I'd be so horrified!!! That'd be so awful!! I'd be the color of a tomato.

I really love this story, can you finish writing it? :P Though I know what's coming up and I'm terrified. Woah.

Why is this review so short? It looked longer when I typed it in word. I can babble for a bit if you want. What am I even saying. Okay. I'm done. :P

xoxo Sarah ♥

Author's Response: Yay! This did make my day! And it's okay that it's short. I don't mind.

Even though Romulus has all his issues, he's still totally a guy:p

Marietta is... she's... I love writing her, but I think I'd hate being her friend. Or maybe I want her to be my friend. I haven't decided yet.

Thanks for the review, dear!


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Review #2, by LightLeviosa5443 Reason Says I Should've Died Three Years Ago

5th April 2014:
BvB!

This chapter was so sad and so lovely. I kind of like knowing what to expect, but not knowing what you'll put in, and what you won't. I really loved this chapter, though.

I thought it was sweet the way that they had meetings, and how everyone was very close together. Like a family (as you put it in the story). Ugh. It was just all so cute. I really liked how Marietta already put in the story, and the way Maria joked about it. Though I'm still peeved with her. I get that Romulus has problems that he has to sort out, but when he acts like he does I just get so frustrated! There are people that love you dude! Spend time with them!

Lovely chapter hon!

xoxo Sarah

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing!

Although... you review a lot, so you probably won't see this...

I put in some stuff, and not some other stuff, and then I added some stuff. ;)

Romulus really does need to sort himself out. You should give him a talking to!!

Thanks so much!!


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Review #3, by marauderfan Reason Says I Should've Died Three Years Ago

25th March 2014:
I saw you updated this ages ago and I've only just had time to get around to reading it! *brings a plate of chocolate chip cookies straight from the oven to apologize for being such a bad reviewer*

Aah, that part about Portia was so sad! I can't imagine how it must have been for her to be that desperate and then tricked into something as horrible as that. The support group is wonderful, though; it must help a lot for them to be able to talk and understand each other. Hopefully one of these times, Marcellus will be able to convince Romulus to go, it'd do him good.

Nadia and Aisling!! :D Aaa so cute. Love it.

How sad for Marietta that they won't publish her article - the fact that she didn't finish school doesn't mean she's not intelligent! I'll bet they didn't even read it! :( At least she has an opportunity to publish it under Marcellus' name though. Good for her. Don't give up, Mariertta!

And yay, Romulus agreed to go to a meeting and actuallly be there, rather than creeping outside the wall. I think it will help him. At least I hope so.

Another awesome chapter! Keep up the great work :)

Author's Response: My last three reviews are from you, so maybe I should respond to them!! (Haha, but really, you're the sweetest!!)

Oh man. I hadn't realised how long it's been since an update!! Chapter six has been done for weeks, I'll have to get around to posting that... Hopefully I'll be posting every two or three weeks until it's completed.

...hopefully...

I really wanted to show that even though these are characters that we're meant to like... they still do the bad things that we hear about on the other side. They do kill livestock and occasionally people... they just feel horribly about it.

Don't worry about Marietta. She's way too stubborn to give up. On anything. Ever. Almost to the extent where it's a little annoying.

In the next two chapters, we'll get to see non-angsty Romulus. Nearly... cheery Romulus! Who knew that could happen... ;)

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. It means so much to me!!


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Review #4, by Rumpelstiltskin Reason Says I Should've Died Three Years Ago

21st February 2014:
Oh, I haven't loved all over this yet!

Marcellus is still the amazing brother he always is! Romulus is slowly coming around, it seems. He's at least been sneaking to the meetings :D. Bennet I always give the short end of the stick to...I know he's in a rough situation. I mean, the dude's married to Greyback's sister! Aisling and Nadia are perfect for one another and I LOVE THEM SO MUCH! I'm so glad that they're moving in together!

Er, yeah, that's all :D.

You did a wonderful job, of course!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: I... haven't responded to this yet!

WHOOPS!

Need to write... need to write... tomorrow I won't even have a car, so I'll just get up and WRITE!

I wish Marcellus was my brother. I'd totally be a werewolf if I'd get Marcellus as a brother... (sigh dreamily...)

Thanks for the review, even though you probably won't see this response...


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Review #5, by toomanycurls Reason Says I Should've Died Three Years Ago

14th February 2014:
RRT!!

I'm so happy you wrote more of this wonderfully story!

I liked the idea of a bi-weekly support meeting for werewolves. It had an AA meeting feel or any 12 step program, which fit with how they must feel as werewolves. Except they can't control the monster that comes out monthly.

I can get why Romulus wouldn't want to go to the WA (werewolves anonymous) meeting but I can't help but feel sad for his loss of community and comradery that could come out of it. Which is why I was glad at the end when he agreed to go to the next one. It fit very well for Marcellus to go and I'm glad they accepted him there.

the church and pastor who let them use their space was just so touching! I loved how compassionate he was and that they told him about being werewolves. It just made me feel better about people to read about such humanity and love.

:-o Portia's story is horrific. From a story perspective, I like that Fenrir is lying to people to get them to attack children. I couldn't believe that there were tons of werewolves out there just as eager as he was to change kids so having it be something they're tricked into felt very realistic. Portia seems like a good person who was lied to about what she'd be doing. Then when Bennit walked in and said he gave Fenrir Portia's name - I was surprised they didn't beat him up or something (I would have). I felt so bad for Portia throughout this whole chapter - even more so once she learned the child died.

I NEARLY DIED FROM SQUEE WHEN AISLING AND NADIA DECIDED TO LIVE TOGETHER!

I'm glad Marietta is pushing to still get her story published. It's a sham they won't publish her but I hope they'll take it from Marcellus.

It was a relief at the end to see Romulus come around a little - I hope he continues to do better.

-Rose

Author's Response: I love writing this story so much.

It's actually based off of the Life Support meetings from the show Rent, which were based off of meeting of a group in NYC during the 1990s called Friends in Deed, which comforts the terminally ill (all illness, not just people suffering from HIV/AIDS) and their close friends and family.

(I seriously know waaay too much about Rent.)

Don't lose faith in humanity!! Walter is here!!

Portia's story really is meant to be upsetting. There's really bad situations and tough decisions for everyone involved (except Fenrir. He's just awful through and through).

Bennett will (hopefully) actually become a character that you'll eventually feel bad for. A little. He's stuck between a rock and a hard place, too.

NADIA AND AISLING ARE MY FAVORITE I LOVE WRITING THEM SO MUCH.

Romulus!!! I love him!

(I don't know if you can tell, but I really love writing this)

Romulus is in for a bumpy ride. He'll have his moments of happiness, but this is angst...



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Review #6, by LightLeviosa5443 I Can't Control My Destiny

10th February 2014:
Hi! I'm here for the review battle!

Wow. So, I haven't read this in a while and had to go back and give myself a mini-refresher, but your writing just gets better and better.

I can't even begin to pretend being comfortable enough with my writing to write a scene with a werewolf transformation. But you did, and amazingly so! It was like, wicked awesome to read!!!

I really loved the scene with Marcellus and going from one place to another and how we really got a good backstory on how the boys split from their parents, and how that whole world works. It was interesting and a great touch because it helps me understand why Marcellus does what he does. And it helps me see such a huge contrast between Marcellus and his parents!!

I loved the scene with Marietta, I think that it was great and you wrote Marcellus' reaction wonderfully. Rumpel is a fantastic beta because I couldn't find a single thing wrong with this chapter either! (not that I'm so great with it anyways :P)

Overall this was wondiferous.

HULKREVIEWER LIKE STORY!

hahahah, sorry, I had to do it!

Author's Response: EEEKKK I LOVE REVIEWS ON OBoB THANKS SO MUCH FOR REVIEWING I LOVE YOU FOREVER.

I mean, I did already, but I seriously LOVE getting reviews on this.

So much.

Seriously.

Siriusly.

This is technically Marauders Era, so I can say that.

EEEP YOU'RE SO NICE.

It took me so long to write the transformation. I'm really glad that you liked it. Yaaay.

Writing these guys' backstories is SO MUCH FUN. I honestly might end up writing a series of spinoff oneshots because it's so fun.

Marietta YES I LOVE WRITING HER SO MUCH. SHE'S SO FUN. And Marcellus. Those two!! In chapter 6, we get lots of fun Marietta/Marcellus superfriendship love.

RUMPEL IS FANTASTIC YOU ARE CORRECT.



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Review #7, by Infinityx For a Thousand Sweet Kisses

5th February 2014:
Hello! Here for the BvB review battle. I can't believe I didn't come back to read this earlier though!

"his voice lathered with fraudulent cheerfulness"
I love this line. Your descriptions are wonderful.

"Aisling could see his dark, diseased gums and smell raw meat on his breath." Ugh. *shudder* You've brought out Greyback's menacing character incredibly well. What a creep!

"the hills and valleys that were his swollen face"
Again, a wonderful use of imagery. I could picture the entire scene unfolding before my eyes. Great job!

Aww. Nadia and Aisling are so cute. I love how you've made the tone of the story shift without it seeming abrupt. All those cheesy lines were so sweet!

I can't wait to see what happens next. I think it's so brave of Aisling to go against Greyback like that. I hope nothing happens to him! Wonderful chapter!

Author's Response: Hey! Finally responding!!

Oh man. I have to confess. In that first line, the use of the word "fraudulent" was 100% my beta, Rumpel. I don't remember what I had there, but it wasn't that good.

Thanks so much for the review!


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Review #8, by marauderfan I Can't Control My Destiny

1st February 2014:
Agh sorry it took me so long (I'm travelling and typing this on a tablet) but I'm here for the review swap!

I love the way you've portrayed the lead up to the full moon,and the way they prepare by clipping their nails, sitting around nervously before moonrise. Their emotions are so strong, well done writing that. Romulus' transformation was really well written too -lots of detail, the imagery really powerful.

Ooh, those flashbacks are so interesting! First Romulus insisting that his brother not date a mudblood, but then later Romulus himself is dating a Muggleborn. I wonder what made him change his mind? And all the stuff about the family, I am SO curious what his surname is, because it sounds like he's from one of the old pureblood families. That makes it even more difficult that he's a werewolf, with all those pressures. :(

Wait, did I just read something about Mrs Greyback!?!? Fenrir greyback is MARRIED? Ok, would not have predicted that. She must be insane. :p

vhiufugfdasfjsfk Marietta is an illegitimate child of Orion Black?! So did not see that coming. I am so curious about all these families. The back story in this chapter was fantastic. I get the feeling that the first three chapters were all kind of introduction, but this feels like where the story really starts.so much great and surprising stuff in this chapter. I'm putting this story in my favourites now! :D Thanks for the swap!

Author's Response: Don't worry about it! I understand, I'm on my phone a lot.

I'm glad you liked the lead-up. I rewrote it a few times, but I settled on this one.

A note about the surname... because of the nature of this story, they don't have one. The family line pretty much died out when Romulus was bitten. So we won't find out their surname. You can make them whoever you'd like (other than the Blacks or Malfoys or Lestranges).

Actually, Bennett is married to Fenrir's sister. They said "Mrs. Greyback" for emphasis that she's part of that family (and because, like all the characters, Bennett doesn't have a last name).

Marietta's back-story might eventually give birth to a one-shot or short story spin-off about her. The first three chapters are sort of introductory, but they also set up a lot of the plot. If you're going to read on when I update, I do suggest giving 1-3 a read. Ahh, yay! Thanks!!

Thanks for such a thorough review!


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Review #9, by Rumpelstiltskin I Can't Control My Destiny

29th January 2014:
Okay, I'm here to love!

Marcellus!...if he were real, I would probably marry him.

And poor Romulus and Avril!

This chapter, as you know, has one of my favorite conversations (between Marietta and Marcellus). This here, along with Marcellus' other considerations during the conversation, "Oh God, Marcellus thought, my Mum was having an affair with Orion Black" absolutely killed me :D.

Anyway, fantastic job, as always!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Yay! I always appreciate that you review even though you've already given me opinions:D

You can marry Marcellus. If he were real he'd be in his mid-sixties (he's in his early twenties here).

Yay!! Thank you!!


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Review #10, by toomanycurls I Can't Control My Destiny

28th January 2014:
I'll never get tired of review swapping with you!! :D I'm glad to be the 1st review on this chapter! I really get thrilled by the simple things in life.

I love the idea of them going somewhere remote for Romulus' transformation. I giggled at the better sheep than people - partly because of the wolf getting sheep thing in stories/cartoons, but also because of the idea of sheeple (which I'm sure you weren't referring to).

Your description of his transformation is rivetting. I once tried to write about how it would feel but painted it with poetic prose rather than blunt reality. I like your blunt reality more.

This chapter is just full of the feels. I can't imagine what it would be like to be Marcellus and have to agonize each month while my brother was out there in danger (and dangerous to others). Part of me is super floored that Romulus and Marcellus are from a pureblood/muggle hating family. I love how you mentioned Molly in this! But, yeah, I can only imagine how being a werewolf was even harder for Romulus given his upbringing.

...their parents need to sort out their priorities!! Son bit by a werewolf and they're worried that he's under a love spell for dating Avril!?!? I could just give Marcellus a standing ovation for turning away from his family!!! Whoo!!!

After reading everything about his family, I shouldn't be shocked that they're in league with Voldemort but it's still a slight jolt to read.

I'm calling this chapter "shock and awe" I don't think my jaw could have dropped more after finding out Marietta is really a Black. I'm dying to know what family Marcellus and Romulus are in.

Ah, this was just incredible!! So, update soon. :D

-Rose

Author's Response: Yay!! I was so glad when I saw that you reviewed this chapter!!

I... can't say I know what a sheeple is.

I rewrote his transformation about thirty times and kept annoying my beta with comments like "Do you think this is enough? Do I need more here? Does this seem cheesy?", so I'm glad you liked it. I'm sure your poetic prose was well written:)

This Novella is sort of full of feels, I'll warn you now. Marcellus is very stressed but he doesn't care because Marcellus lurv Romulus so much! They're from an extremely pureblood family! And yay for Molly! And yes, Romulus lost much more than most people do when they're bitten. That's why he's so moody all the time. And the whole dead girlfriend thing.

They can't have an heir to the family fortune who goes romping in the woods every month!

Yeah, they're D.E.'s. If you were jolted, imagine how Marcellus felt!

Marietta! Yes! There might be a spin-off one-shot or short story sometime in the future where she meets Remus and they eventually figure out their connection through Sirius and Marietta meets him (or, depending on Era, is disappointed that he's a mass murderer or dead. Small window, there).

Alright... here's the thing. You'll never find out what family they're in. I don't know what family they're in. The trouble is that most of the pureblood families we know have children conveniently aged within about five years of the Marauders, which doesn't work. For this to be a currently existing family, they would've had to have had their first child in the mid-seventies. I just couldn't find that. The family name essentially died on the night Romulus was attacked. Even though he technically still carries on the bloodline, it isn't the same thing.

I'll update... soon...ish. I need to get through the next two chapters that are... not filler, but more difficult to write... then it'll be quick(ish. bimonthly?) updates till the end!


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Review #11, by keyty Your Hair in the Moonlight

26th January 2014:
Another great chapter. Your character development is spot on. You focus enough on each character so that we get to know them, but not too much so that we'll miss the other characters. I only have two minor areas of concern.

The first is this sentence: "Do you know how long I waiting for my parents and my brothers to come back?" Just thought I would point it out to you.

The second is during the conversation between Romulus and Maria. After the kiss, while she wants to talk about him and he wants to talk about her addiction. The dialogue is very strong, I just think you could add a bit of description. Maybe show how they're moving around the room, or whether they're staying still, the expressions on their faces, things like that. This can really add to the emotion that I can already feel through what they say to each other.

I really like the introduction of Euphoria. It's very realistic and helps show the reader how people are coping with their new lives. The description of the symptoms and how easily Romulus recognized them was very strong.

Again, thank you for asking me to review this for you. I look forward to reading the rest of this story.

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for doing three review requests in one go! Thanks for pointing that out, and I appreciate your suggestion for more description. I always struggle with description, and taking the time to add it where it needs to go.

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Review #12, by keyty For a Thousand Sweet Kisses

26th January 2014:
Okay, I'm going to start off commenting on a few lines.

"...inside before they reached him, then they wouldn't bother him. Unfortunately, the three men were determined to reach him." My comment here is very minor, and mainly my personal preference. You say 'reached' in one sentence, followed by 'reach' in the next. To me it's a bit repetitive and I would use another word such as catch up, join, or come up to. This is up to you, though. Definitely not major.

""Aisling," one of them said, his voice lathered with fraudulent cheerfulness." I love the description here; on point.

"Greyback abruptly stopped walking, turning to face Aisling." Here I found myself confused. From what I understood, when Greyback had reached Aisling they had all stopped. It would be more clear if you mentioned that they continued to walk after catching up to him.

"He brought his hand up and traced the hills and valleys that were his swollen face." Again, beautiful description. Great word choice.


I like this chapter a lot as well. I especially like that it picks up with Aisling leaving, instead of starting right where the last one left off. It adds to the character development which I think is often lost when an author tries to focus on the main character. The introduction of Nadia works very well, though at first I thought it would be Marcellus. I quite like Nadia and Aisling's back and forth, and you do a good job of filling in the reader on their past without focusing on unnecessary details.

Again, very strong. I'm enjoying this a lot.

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for leaving such a helpful review. I really appreciate that you mentioned exact lines; it's really helpful.

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Review #13, by keyty Feel the Heat of the Future's Glow

26th January 2014:
I want to start off by saying that I'm really glad you asked me to review this. I would have never found it otherwise and so far I like the plot very much.

You have a great voice and really know how to keep the chapter flowing. I was very engaged in the story.

In terms of description, I think the amount you have is pretty good. I think a good idea would be to describe the characters physically, since they are not canon (as far as I can tell). Though you have the chapter image, it's always good to incorporate description into the story itself so that you don't depend on the features of the celebrities you choose.

The opening, I think, fits really well with your story. It shows us Marcellus's own voice, which is different from yours. It also shows his personal point of view on his situation, which we later see compared to Romulus's:

"I was not of the same opinion as them, and stayed with Romulus and Avril."
and
"Sometimes, he wished that he'd insisted that he go back to their parents. Marcellus would probably have a job in the Ministry, maybe he'd be in charge of registering werewolves so they couldn't have jobs."

So far, the writing is very strong. I look forward to reading the rest.

Author's Response: Thanks for such a quick response!

That's a very good idea, to add more physical description of the characters. And no, they're not canon at all.

I'm glad that you enjoyed the comparison between Marcellus and Romulus.

Thanks so much for the review!


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Review #14, by toomanycurls Your Hair in the Moonlight

26th January 2014:
Thank you so much for doing another review swap with me!

One thing I really liked about this chapter was that everyone started together and then their stories for the chapter branched out. It really showed that while each person has their own story and drama, they come togethr and form their own family of sorts.

It's a bit funny (more on the ironic side of funny) that Marcellus and Romulus have a skill that they're shy about sharing with other people. I guess there's too much vuneralbility there for them to be open about it.

I'm glad you're addressing drug (well, potion) use among the werewolves. The instances of drug abuse tends to be much higher in marginalized parts of society. I really enjoyed seeing that as a theme in this chapter.

I like the idea of a werewolf activist. Even cooler for me is that you did such a wonderful job showing Marietta as someone with well thought out ideas but poor grammar/diction. It's a great way of showing that an education gives people tools to communicate their dieas but not the ability to have great ideas. It was nice that Marcellus opened op to Marietta about his writing. It could be a really good bond for him to have.

ha! I thought Romulus might have been dishonest about the Euphoria. I mean, it's kind of like an alcoholic keeping a bottle of vodka in the freezer just in case. Maria's visit was most intriguing. The mutual need for closeness but yet Romulus' continued grief for Avril - it was all quite moving. I feel for Romulus' all-consuming sense of loss and inability to move past her.

Ending with counting and eventual Euphoria use was powerful - quite chilling as well.

-Rose

Author's Response: Hey, I love swapping with you!!

The potion use is really important in the story. At times it drives character development and plot... so I'm glad you thought it was realistic that I included it.

I haven't thought about Marc and Rom like that (ugh they hate when I call them that, but it's so much shorter!). I very well may include that in a later chapter... yes... there's a perfect place for it.

Marietta is awesome. She wasn't originally a writer, but I was excited to explore the relationship between writers:)

Romulus. He has some demons he needs to work through. An important note, though. He didn't take the Euphoria.

Eeeps, thanks for the review:D


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Review #15, by marauderfan Your Hair in the Moonlight

19th January 2014:
I love the way you've incorporated drug addition in the wizarding world with the Elixir of Euphoria. It's cool how this story shows the kind of grey area that isn't exposed in a lot of fics - here its not so much a good and evil thing, it's an inner demons thing and I love the way you've expressed that. It also makes sense as werewolves suffer quite a lot so the idea that they might go elsewhere for substances to make them forget about how terrible their transformations are, was not surprising.

Marietta seems cool. I like that you explained how writing and ideas come naturally to her but she has problems with the grammar because she didn't go to school after her bite. She and Marcellus would make a good team if he has the writing particulars and she has the expression.

You've done really well with the characters so far and explored a lot of the other sides to werewolf life - this is such a cool fic so far. I'm looking forward to reading more! :D

Author's Response: You're amazing and these reviews have made me a very very happy hpff'er!! Thank you so much!!

I'm really glad that you saw that there isn't a clean cut good and evil. That'll really come into play in major ways later in the story. This story is so heavy with inner demons that I'm almost struggling to create external conflict! Everyone is both the protagonist and antagonist! Ugh, my characters are so frustrating.

Marietta is the wildcard character. In RENT, I didn't really have room to tranform the Maureen-Mark-Joanne storyline, so I just sort of morphed Joanne and Maureen into one character and got Marietta. She's ending up not a whole lot like either of them, but I'm okay with that. Her character gets some more depth in the next chapter (ooo, see, I mentioned something that's coming up to hopefully get you to read it).

You're seriously a superstar. These reviews made my night! I was really happy when you responded to the swap, you're a great writing and so I really value your opinion!

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, thank you so much!

(Oh, and chapter 4 is completed and will be up sometime in the next week and a half, once I get chapter 5 to my beta)


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Review #16, by marauderfan For a Thousand Sweet Kisses

19th January 2014:
gah I had to keep reading because I loved the last chapter :D

Eek, Fenrir is mad creepy. You do a brilliant job writing him though. Given how crazy he is about biting kids when they're young to turn them to werewolves, it makes sense that he'd be so possessive. Well done writing him.

The rest of the chapter makes up for that though because it's SO CUTE. Aw, Aisling and Nadia are adorable, and I love how she takes care of him. She seems to be a very strong person to deal with all the adversity she faces on the outskirts of society.

great chapter!

Author's Response: Yaaay reviews!!
Fenrir is such a creep. In my head, he's one of the worst characters. Ugh. I hate writing him, he's so disgusting.

I love Aisling and Nadia so much. You don't even understand.

Thanks for reviewing!!


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Review #17, by marauderfan Feel the Heat of the Future's Glow

18th January 2014:
For our review swap! Ok, I have to admit I had trouble picking which of your stories to read because they all look really good! I love RENT though so I had to pick this :D

I think I'd read somewhere about how lycanthropy is meant to be a metaphor for AIDS and so I think it's brilliant that you're writing a fic about it. And I love that you're bringing the Death Eaters into it trying to get all the werewolves to join up, it's an interesting side to the HP-verse that isn't often explored, so it's nice that you've done so! I loved the part when they were making fun of the Death Eaters' name as sounding like something teenagers came up with, and that it will never amount to much :p (I have to agree though - what kind of a name is that, seriously)

Your character descriptions are lovely, after one chapter I can already get a feel of who they all are. They seem like a close knit bunch, and it's lovely how they all stick together even though Marcellus isn't a werewolf. (By the way, I love that the character's name is Marcellus, which is clever in two ways because of the nod to Mark from Rent, but it also just sounds like a very wizardy name and I found myself wondering if JK herself had invented him! :P But I digress.)

You have a lot of background about werewolves in here and I'm excited to see how you develop the werewolf community and their tough situation and how the Death Eaters offer affects them. What a cool story, I'm glad I found it! Thanks for the swap!

Author's Response: Hey!! I see that you've left me three reviews?! Greatest swap ever! I feel bad about the lame review I left you...

I know I've read that somewhere, but I never remember where, so I can't credit anyone to the idea... shaaame!

I came across the name Marcellus, and it was just too perfect. I'm glad that you agree.

You're so sweet! I can't wait to read your other two reviews! You're fantastic!


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Review #18, by LightLeviosa5443 Your Hair in the Moonlight

15th January 2014:
I love this story, as always!

Euphoria, a new substance, I like the introduction of it. It feels very Rent. I'm getting it now. I love how Marcellus envies Marietta's writing skill, and I love how Marietta envies Marcelus' grammar and spelling knowledge. Both hers and Maria's story is so sad, and I think it was really interesting to have them introduced. I enjoyed it.

I like Romulus and his protectiveness, I like how you showed that he has weaknesses, what with the Euphoria and Avril. I think that him recognizing the signs of someone coming off of Euphoria was brilliant, and I really hope he didn't take the Euphoria that he threw. That would NOT be good.

Overall, this was a brilliant chapter. Characterization was spot on, your new characters were brilliant as usual, your description was perfect and the flow was fantastic. I can't wait to read the next chapter!



Author's Response: Yay!! I love your reviews!! I really need to get around to giving you a bunch of well-deserved reviews... four day weekend! I'll do it!!

There's even more to Marietta and Maria's history:) (I almost gave a bunch of it away because I didn't realize that it wasn't in this chapter!!! I shouldn't respond to reviews when I'm tired!)

I originally didn't have Marietta as a writer, but I think that exploring the relationship between writers is something that's really fun and interesting. Even more so considering that most of the people who will read this are writers.

Romulus didn't take the Euphoria, no.

You're so sweet!! Thank you so much! The next chapter will be up sometime next week (hesitantly). It's all ready, but I like to be one chapter ahead of what's posted.

Thank you so much! You're amazing!


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Review #19, by Rumpelstiltskin Your Hair in the Moonlight

14th January 2014:
Reporting for "loving all over your story" duty!

Hm, I'm trying to think of something new to say that I already haven't said, not that I can remember what I've said exactly, at the moment.

Oh well, a quick repeat wont hurt anybody! I love this story! :D Maria, Maria, Maria. I really think that Maria and Romulus might be able to help one another in the long run. He might be just what she needs to kick the addiction. Of course, that would mean he would have to try to move on from his severe grief concerning Avril. I do love the strength he does show at the end, though, when he destroys the bottle of Euphoria. Oh, Romulus.

And then Marcellus! How can you not love Marcellus?! I want to shrink him and carry him around in my pocket!

Well, the review may be short, but it's full of love!

Great job!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: I love your reviews!! Thanks for taking the time:D

Maria and Romulus have a really complex relationship because they're both so darn complicated themselves!

A pocket-sized Marcellus sounds like the greatest thing ever. Patent Pending.

This response is short but it's full of appreciation for all my insanity that you put up with!!


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Review #20, by Infinityx Feel the Heat of the Future's Glow

14th January 2014:
Hi! *waves* I'm here for the BvB review battle!

This was such an amazing read. It was such a unique concept and so well written. The beginning was so beautiful, I'd be surprised if someone DIDN'T want to keep reading. The idea of using lycanthropy to depicts AIDS is just brilliant.

Every part of this chapter was so powerful. Your characterizations of Marcellus and Romulus have been done perfectly. I love the relationship between the two.

One small CC. After Bennett entered the picture, I found the pace a bit rushed. Things just happened so fast. But it was extremely well written so its not really a problem. Apart from that, I didn't find anything wrong in the story. The grammar and spellings were impeccable and I think you've done a great job. :)

- Erin

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for such a sweet review!

You're too nice. I can't believe anyone would describe my writing like that:)

I agree that the pacing was a little bit rushed. That's something this chapter could really use editing for.

Thanks again!


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Review #21, by toomanycurls For a Thousand Sweet Kisses

12th January 2014:
Hello!! I'm finally here with your requested review!!!

I find it kind of intriguing that Fenrir is upset about Aisling teaching young werewolves magic. I mean, there's no way Aisling is trying to get power or influence, just trying to do what's best for others.

Your description of Aisling floating back into consciousness is very well done. I got a great sense of his grogginess and tring to make out what was going on. The creeper who went up to Nadia was, well, creepy.

I can only imagine how hard it is to be a werewolf in a muggle area. Even in a wizarding community it's hard but muggles aren't quite as prepared to defend or protect themselves once a month. The idea of owning children is so twisted and yet it is perfect for Greyback to think that.

ooh, The love the romantic overtones between them. Their casual dating relationship that's turned into something a bit more committed during this chapter. It's so sweet. Their cautious devotion and unvealing of feelings - so realistic. ^_^ I'm rooting for them to make it and have happiness.

-Rose

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! You're too sweet:)

I see Fenrir as just being ridiculously controlling and, well, evil. He's that type of evil that just makes your skin crawl.

I'm glad you liked Aisling's regaining of consciousness. And I'm pleased that you didn't think the creeper was too random. Everytime I went through edits I wondered why I included it (Spoiler alert: he doesn't ever come up again. He's completely insignificant to the plot), but I think I just liked Nadia's response too much to take it out:)

I feel really bad about making my poor characters have such hard lives... it is very difficult for them.

I love Nadia and Aisling. They really are just the sweetest people and then they're together and it's just sweeter and I love them. They have the type of relationship that just writes itself and I can just sit back and enjoy it:)

Thanks again for the lovely review!


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Review #22, by ReeBee Feel the Heat of the Future's Glow

10th January 2014:
Hi there!

Here for the BvB review battle! And i just realised that this would get your requested review done too! :D okay, so here we go!

Characterisation: clear. Very powerful! Marcellus is so sweet and Romulus' feeling as a werewolf who was affecting his younger brother's life, was perfect! I do have some CC though :) maybe adding a Little hatred towards the werewolf kind in Romulus' POV would add to believability? And I would also like to know about the owner of the flat :) just another sentence or two :)

Description: really good! I have no CC with that! I particularly liked the added in bits about Voldemort and the death eaters :)

Flow/Plot- really good! The flashback-y bits were incorporated smoothly and the whole thing seemed to flow really well! :D great job with that! And the plot is really interesting! How on earth did u come up with the idea! It's awesome! ;D

Syntax/Grammar: no visible typos and grammar was fine!

Overall, very interesting and well written! Great job! Feel free to rerequest! :D

-Curie

Author's Response: Hey thanks for the review:)
I'm glad you like the characters. For me, this is really about the characters and I'm trying really hard to make them strong and definite.

Those are really good suggestions. As for Romulus, he's an onion. He's got a LOT going on, and his character isn't completely "set-up" until chapter 4. Even after that, he develops more.

Bennett... yeah. I'm making an effort to include him more...

I came up with the idea (I don't know if that was a rhetorical question or not...) because I've seen online (I'm not sure if it's actually a Rowling quote or a fake one...) that lycanthropy was written as a metaphor for HIV/AIDS. And I'm a huge fan of RENT, so my brain started turning and here I am!

I'm so glad that you liked it! I'll almost certainly rerequest!


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Review #23, by LightLeviosa5443 For a Thousand Sweet Kisses

8th January 2014:
Here for the BvB review battle!

I think I enjoyed this chapter much more than the previous. In fact I know I did.

I really liked the introduction of Nadia, she was a nice, refreshing character to introduce into such a dark beginning to the story. When Aisling was saying how she was good I could really see it, I could feel how good she is. They're a cute couple.

I think your characterization of Fenrir was spot on, by the way. You did a fantastic job of making him be the big mean bully (for lack of a better term for him) that I've always imagined him. And him saying that those kids are "his" property even though they're nobodies. That's so believable.

I really enjoyed reading this chapter, it was enjoyable, and a very smooth transition from the previous one. Nadia and Aisling are adorable and I can't wait to read more of this story!

xoxo Sarah

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed reading this! I really enjoyed writing this. I am really enjoying writing this. It was my side project, but it's taking a front seat. Whoops. Chapter four is currently being beta'd. What?! I don't think I've ever had the next chapter written when I post the one before it... if that makes sense. Now I'm TWO chapters ahead! So excited!

Nadia. I'm so glad you like her.

But ugh. Writing Fenrir in this story makes me hate him so much more. He's disgusting. I love Aisling a lot, and it made me so mad that Fenrir is such a jerk.

Okay, I sound crazy. I'm talking like I didn't write it that way. I'm such a hypocrite sometimes.

Nadia and Aisling are amazing and I love them and I love writing them.

I'll probably put Chapter three in the queue sometime next week. Thanks for the review!


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Review #24, by LightLeviosa5443 Feel the Heat of the Future's Glow

7th January 2014:
Hey! I'm here for the BvB review battle!

So this was a very interesting story. I honestly didn't read through the description when I clicked on it, as lately I've been enjoying the surprise I get as I start to read the story! I'm glad I didn't! This story is so unique and different that it was a pleasure to read and not be expecting to read it!

I really liked how you had Marcellus stay with Romulus, it was a nice brotherly companionship and loyalty that was easily appreciated. It also fit well with his (I'm assuming due to the scarf) Hufflepuff traits!

There were only two things that made me pause while reading it, and they're just personal opinions so don't take them too much to heart!

When Marcellus stopped writing and pulled back his drapes it was a bit confusing.

"You writing anything?" Marcellus asked his older brother...

Marcellus just mentioned seeing Romulus strum a guitar, and Marcellus was the one writing, did you mean Romulus asked his older brother? The sentence just confused me a little, but maybe I misinterpreted it!

And then later when Aisling came in, then left, then Bennett came in and then left. That part just seemed a little bit rushed to me, and I honestly didn't know Aisling had left until Marcellus wondered where he had gone!

Otherwise this was a great chapter!

xoxo LL

Author's Response: Hey, I smiled when I saw your review:)

I'm glad that you liked it. It is a really different story, so I'm not sure about the response I'll get.

I probably could've put "composing" there in place of "writing". The person speaking is correct, but "writing" just refers to writing music. I hadn't thought about the fact that it could be confusing.

I agree, that part was a little quick, I can see how it would've been confusing.

Thanks for the review:)


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Review #25, by Lady of Tears For a Thousand Sweet Kisses

7th January 2014:
So sweet! I think you're doing such a good job at taking the bones of Rent and adding all your creativity and inspiration. More than anything else, I like how real this feels. Like it actually could have happened. :) Keep on going!

Author's Response: Two reviews from you!? You're so sweet! I appreciate it so much!

Again, thanks so much.

Since this is so far from canon, I'm making an effort to really give it elements that pull it into the HP world. There's quite a bit of that in Chapter Four;)

I'm absolutely going to keep going! I'm already half way through Chapter Five. Which is crazy for me. I'm usually such a slow writer.

Thanks again for your reviews. They were a joy to read. :)!


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