Reading Reviews for Devil's Trickery
  
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by EnigmaticEyes16 Devil's Trickery

9th July 2014:
HI! This is a HOUSE CUP 2014 REVIEW!

This was a really neat story. I've never read anything like it before in FF. I thought it was really cool how you created this creature who makes deals with Azkaban prisoners. And deals they'll regret, too. I can't imagine what James will do now that he's literally lost everything he has; his family, his house, his wand, his magic? is he completely magic-less now? How do you start over from that? It'd be an interesting sequel I think, if you ever decided to write one.

Overall, though, I thought this was a really great story. And very well written as well.

xxNix

Author's Response: Hi there!

Ooh, thanks so much! Credit has to go to Sam who gave me the prompt of the crossroads demon for her challenge! I couldn't think of anywhere I might find a crossroads demon except at a crossroads in someone's life, and what better crossroads than being in Azkaban? From that, the idea of Anamaria and her deal with the Ministry developed. I haven't decided what happens to James, however, I do plan to write a companion one-shot to this which details these events from James' POV and including additional material that Anamaria isn't aware of (like why he was in Azkaban). ^.^

Thank you so much, that's fabulous to hear!

-Isobel


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Review #2, by luvinpadfoot Devil's Trickery

18th April 2014:
Hi! Here with that promised review. (:

I've never thought about anything like this in the HP world before which is odd because it kind of makes sense that there'd be other magical creatures. Jinn, demons, what have you. And I think you definitely did the crossroads demon justice.

Anamaria, or whatever her name really is, is ice cold. Just wow. No heart there, though I guess I shouldn't be surprised since she is a demon. I like how almost sassy she is when speaking with James, but during the deal itself and ten years later. I want to call her psychopathic, but can demons even be psychopaths or are they all just like that by nature? Either way, you portrayed her character really well.

What a twist ending. I hadn't even though about James's words until then. Sending his kids to Hell because he made a stupid mistake is just mean. I think I'll be blaming you for all the emotions that gave me. That question at the end from the little girl asking if she was going to Heaven broke my heart in two. Take the father if you have to, but the little girl too?

One thing that I think could improve this would be delving into James's character a little more. I think there's a lot more to him than we can see in this. For example, why was he in Azkaban in the first place? If a little more of who he is could make it into the story, that might make it all the more painful when his life (everything he has) is ripped away at the end.

It was truly a great one-shot though and I'm glad you did well in the challenge! You definitely earned it. Enjoyed every word! (:

Author's Response: Hi!

Heh, to be honest neither did I until I saw the challenge and started to think about all the creatures that might exist but never got mentioned in the books. And thank you -- I don't watch Supernatural, so I was quite concerned about that, so it's great to hear that you felt I did the crossroads demon justice!

I feel like Anamaria manages to survive in Azkaban because she's one of the demons who don't have a soul. She's pathological and manipulative, and it was really fun to write her because she's so unlike any character I've ever tackled before.

If it helps, I felt absolutely awful writing that scene. I deliberated over it for a good few hours, but in the end it felt like the right option. She's a soulless being who leeches off humans, and to have her suddenly feel sorry for a child would have felt unrealistic to me.

That is part of the reason why I withheld information on James' circumstances, too -- to Anamaria, that's irrelevant. That's nothing to do with her little plot to steal everything that James has. I am planning to write a one-shot from James' POV as a companion piece to this one, flipping the POVs so we can see what he was thinking when he made his choice.

Thank you so much for such a lovely review! :)


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Review #3, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Devil's Trickery

12th January 2014:
Hey, Isobel! I'm here to review your entry for my Supernatural Creature challenge. :)

So, that was so sinisterly creepy that I both loved it and was a little freaked out by it. Which, as you probably know because you know me, I freaking loved.

Tempting a desperate man, that's one of the scariest things about crossroads demons, I think - they will use anyone and can get to anyone, but the desperate are usually the best. The demon could get anything out of them. And James gives her everything. Uh oh.

The end was so sad, I expected James to go to hell, but the wife and the girls? You almost had tears from me. I was okay with her taking James and his soul and his magic, he deserved it for making the deal, but his family? That was just cruel.

I love that you added the genie in, since you changed from genie to demon, it was so cool to see it. :D

I loved this so much, Isobel! It was amazing! Thank you for entering my challenge.

Sam.

P.S. Go James, for having the same birthday as me! :D

Author's Response: Hey, Sam!

I'm glad that you thought this was creepy, because right now I'm just thinking: how can you have a crossroads demon in a story and not have it creepy? :P And yay that you loved it!

Where else would you find desperate men but Azkaban? And I don't think Anamaria expected him to give her /everything/, but she's not exactly going to say no, is she? :P

I know! I actually feel quite bad about the wife and girls, but he /did/ give her everything. She's a demon, a monster, and demons don't have sympathy for poor innocent humans :( Sorry for the cruelty *hugs*

Hehehe! Thank you! :)

And no problem; this was fun to write! Thank you for creating it!

PS: Clearly James is awesome ;)


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Review #4, by TotallyNotVernonDursleyInDisguise Devil's Trickery

7th January 2014:
Thank you for the horrifying dreams tonight.
9/10 because you scared the feet off my ankles
-TotallyNotVernonDursleyInDisguise

Author's Response: OMG, your review made me laugh! It was really awesome to envision your feet running away from your ankles ^.^ Thank you for reviewing! :D

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Review #5, by adluvshp Devil's Trickery

3rd January 2014:
Hey! I know this took me almost an entire month to get to but I'm finally here with your requested review. RL has kept me really busy, so my apologies!

This was a great one-shot. I was engrossed from the beginning to the end! The theme, concept, characterisation, plot, description, flow, everything was amazing. It was very creepy and I enjoyed it so much!

I loved your portrayal of a crossroads demon - it was unique and twisted and very interesting. I really liked Anamaria because you showed her in such a creepy evil and intense manner, I couldn't help but enjoy her character. I hope it's not me being weird haha.

I felt sorry for James too. I did wonder what he was in Azkaban for though - what crime did he commit - so it would have been nice if we had gotten a little background on that somehow - but either way I could connect with him and feel his desperation to get out of the prison. His horror at realising truly what he had bargained for in the end was amazingly done, and I also loved the sentence you finished this with - it was so impactful.

The descriptions were lovely throughout, I could get the complete feel of the atmosphere of the setting as well as the mood of the story. The concept of the Ministry having a deal with these demons was also innovative. I really don't have any critique to give you as this was pretty much perfect and I really had a great time reading this as it kept me hooked!

Great job!
10/10
Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

P.S. Once again, sorry for the delay!

Author's Response: Hey! Don't worry about it at all - I've not been very timely with my review responses, so we're even! And I totally understand about RL, too :)

Oooh, thank you! I'm pleased to hear that, because I wanted the story to be creepy so clearly, I've achieved it!

I Googled the crossroads demons and read up about the ones in the TV show Supernatural, and then used that basic knowledge to come up with my own interpretation of the monster. Haha, don't feel weird - I loved Anamaria too, although I don't think I'd like her if she existed in real life ;)

Awww, yes. Poor James :( I didn't include that information, because I wrote the one-shot from Anamaria's POV and she would either not know or not care about why he was there. I was a little worried about conveying his horror, so I'm pleased that you thought it was amazing.

Thank you very much for reviewing, and once again, it's great to hear you like this!

-Isobel


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Review #6, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing Devil's Trickery

22nd December 2013:
Hello!

I'm so so sorry for how long it has taken me to come and leave this review :(

Wow this story is uber creepy, I seriously loved it! From line one I was completely hooked, so much so I read through from beginning to end rather than review as I went!

I loved Anamaria! I know she's the bad guy but you wrote her so well. The information you gave us, not only from her fake story but her real one too where so interesting! I really loved reading about the Jinn and the little details you gave made the story totally believable and excellent.

James. Oh poor poor James! One thing you don't ever answer in the one-shot that I'm dying to know is, what did he do to be in Azkaban? I love the idea of a Potter being naughty and being sent there, it's so different! But why? What did he do?

In the first section you did an excellent job of throwing the reader off about Anamaria. It's like, you know she's not what she says she is but I wouldn't have had a clue what she was if you hadn't have mentioned it in your request. It was very very well done on your part. One particular thing I also liked was that you still had James care about her. He's stuck in a cell in Azkaban and yet he still cares that it's dangerous for her to be in there (even though it isn't technically, he doesn't know that) It's lovely of him. The only critique I'd possibly give is that sometimes the conversation is a little too normal. Azakaban is supposed to drive you mad and he's been in there for months yet he still converses quite normally. Either a little more desperation or a reason to why he still holds onto his sanity wouldn't go a miss.

The second section is again, well played out and creepy. Not least because of her eyes! One thing I wasn't convinced about was the line "something inherited from the Weasley side of the family" any other time I would have loved this little comment but it felt odd as I wasn't sure why Anamaria would know that much about him?

The last section... just gosh. I had absolute chills when she told the little girl she was going to hell! It was so horrible but so well written!

To answer your specific questions:
Your descriptions were really good, I could picture everything as you said it so I have no issues with that. The piece had plenty of visual for me.
I've already mentioned I loved Anamaria so no worries there... she was an excellent character!

This story is nothing like anything I've read before but I really loved it. I have chills reading it. Your writing style is really nice and so easy to read, it's really easy to just loose yourself in your words!

Well done on a great one-shot!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hi Lauren! Nonsense, don't feel sorted -- /I'm/ sorry for how long it's taken me to respond! :(

Ooh, thank you so much! That's a great thing to hear and I'm really pleased that I managed to hook you in so well!

*cackles* I originally thought about writing this in third person POV, but it didn't feel right so I chose to write in first instead and Anamaria just felt like the natural choice. I like getting into the heads of baddies and finding out their motivations, clearly! It's great that you felt this was believable and that you enjoyed the incorporation of the jinn.

Poor James indeed! Unfortunately, Anamaria doesn't know the reason he's in Azkaban so it wasn't possible to incorporate his crime into the story. However, I'm currently working on another one-shot, titled Devil's Bargain, which will detail James' side of the story and that will explain what he did to land himself in Azkaban.

Thank you! I wanted to make it clear that Anamaria is lying about herself without actually revealing her identity as a crossroads demon (though of course I had to mention it in my AoCs or I'd have been super cryptic and you'd have been wondering what on earth I was talking about, haha). I wanted James to be the caring person that he was before Azkaban, and as for the lack of insanity, in my headcanon Azkaban was changed after the war to a) decrease the number of Dementors because of what happened when they joined Voldemort and b) allow prisoners to receive visitors. Obviously, it's still a horrible place to be with lukewarm soup that has questionable ingredients and filthy cells, but it won't turn someone insane like what happened with Sirius, which I think is why Harry and co wanted to make changes.

The Potters are famous, even in Azkaban. I'm fairly sure that the guards and/or the other prisoners would be gossiping about his imprisonment, so Anamaria would have overheard or been told by her allies in Azkaban. And thank you -- I was googling crossroads demons and found Supernatural and the eyes were a part of the crossroads demons in the show so I used that as part of my headcanon.

Poor family, indeed. This is why Anamaria's POV was so much fun to write in -- anyone else would never have told such a young girl something like that, but a crossroads demon with zero morals wouldn't have qualms about doing that, which created the creepy effect.

I'm really pleased that you enjoy my writing style and lost yourself in my words as those are great things to hear from a reader so thank you Lauren for such a wonderful review ♥


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Review #7, by marauderfan Devil's Trickery

12th December 2013:
Hi! I'm here with your requested review!

This was a great one-shot. I love the way you kept Anamaria's true identity concealed until the very end, but slipped in little hints all along about how she was lying about who she was, creating a mystery over what she actually was and setting an ominous mood as it's clear that James is being misled.

I like your portrayal of a crossroads demon! I actually did not know what they were prior to reading this (well, I had heard of them but didn't know that's what they were called) so I don't know how they are usually portrayed, but I liked Anamaria.

Your descriptions are really effective, too. It's interesting the things that Anamaria chooses to focus on - James' photographs and sloppy soup, rather than the look of Azkaban as a whole. It makes sense I suppose, since if she's used to the surroundings of Azkaban I don't think she'd point them out as much.

When I was reading, I couldn't help but wonder why James in particular was in Azkaban, although I know it's unimportant to the story as told by Anamaria. Only the relevant things about James' life are told and I think that works well for the purposes of the crossroads demon, only caring about the things that directly affect her. I think a demon would be a rather selfish type so it seems to fit. All the same, I was curious what James could have done to land himself in Azkaban!

I liked the first section being called Devil's Snare - both descriptive and a clever reference ;) Anyway, I don't know why the story seems off to you, I really liked it! Your writing style is great. Nice job!

Author's Response: Hi!

I was actually worried that I was overdoing the hints and annoying the reader so it's fabulous to hear that you loved it!

Hehe. I actually googled the crossroads found in Supernatural (which is a show I don't yet watch, but plan to) and used that information to come up with my own portrayal, so I'm really glad that you like Anamaria!

Exactly - she's been in Azkaban for several decades, and she can't empathize with people (she'd be doomed if she did) so it's those kind of things that stand out to her.

Ahh, I wish I could tell you but I couldn't decide! All of my stories are interconnected (except IOTK) so one day you'll find out :P And yes, Anamaria is indeed selfish; instead of asking for James' soul, she makes /him/ suggest a bargain in the hope of getting more that than. Poor James and his family :(

Haha thank you! And I really appreciate your feedback, thanks so much! ♥


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Review #8, by Secret Santa Devil's Trickery

9th December 2013:
The second sentence of the story is a lit bit confusing- I thought that maybe it was 3rd person limited in James's POV, until I saw the word my. So maybe you could reword it, like, "I look across and see James. After three months spent in this godforsaken hellhole, it's clear that James is all too aware of what that sound means: somewhere nearby, a cell door is being slammed closed upon some poor soul." So this way, the reader would know immediately the story is in 1st person POV.

Other than that, I like the story very much. I admire how you tell the reader that Anamaria is lying, but even the reader doesn't know the truth until Anamaria says it at the end.

I also appreciate how you show the reader that James is just another victim to Anamaria, who she doesn't care about. It really brings in the darkness of the story.

One of my favoite parts about this is that the story has an ambigious ending- you don't know whether they managed to escape or not. I can infer that Amamaria suceeded, but the story cuts off at their conversation.

The cruel aspect of Anamaria- that she doesn't care about James's little girl at all- is portrayed very nicely.

Congratulations on writing such a wonderful one-shot!

Author's Response: Thank you for pointing that out! I'll be sure to go back and fix that; this story was written in 24 hours to meet the deadline, so I didn't have time to properly edit. I appreciate you pointing that out though :)

I was a little worried about that, so it's really great to hear that you liked the revelation at the end!

The darkness in the story was a little concerning to me, because I wasn't sure if I'd overdone or underdone it, so it's super hearing you liked it!

My favourite part is also the ambigious ending! :D I couldn't decide whether to let Anamaria haver her success, or have the family fight back - maybe make another deal, to have a bit longer - so I decided to stop at the crossroads, so to speak :P

Thank you very much for your lovely comments, and for all your Santa reviews! ♥


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