19 Reviews Found

Review #1, by nott theodore Part 1: Friendship and Betrayal

2nd April 2017:
CTF Jailbreak Review

Hi Rose! Ah, this is such a cool idea for a story! I absolutely love the 'other' era and historical stories like this one, which go back and fill in tiny gaps in canon that I hadn't even thought about until I read a story like this. But now I've read it, it makes so much sense that house elves and wizards would have been equals at one point. When magic first came into existence, surely magical creatures and people would have been more likely to be friends and bond together than to fight against each other and dominate each other - especially since at this point Muggles were still aware of magic, and witches and wizards were being persecuted for their use of it.

One thing that struck me here was the fact that you chose to make your wizarding character a Hufflepuff. It's so unusual - I think that we tend to see so many stories going back to the early days of magic in Britain which just cast the Slytherins and purebloods as the 'evil' ones, but I think the choice of a Hufflepuff as the one who befriends Winifred is brilliant. It just goes to show that not everyone makes the right choices, and no matter what you value, those values can lead you to make the wrong decisions and have an impact on people for a very long time.

Winifred is absolutely amazing! I love the innate understanding of magic and the natural world that she has, and the fact that she's actually a lot more powerful than Hywel in a way, since she doesn't need a wand for her magic.

It's really interesting that Hywel has suffered from Muggles and he resents them and having to hide his magic because of that - it was a really interesting twist at the end of the chapter, and I'd love to see how this goes on to elves becoming subjugated!

Sian :)

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Review #2, by Lady Asphodel Part 1: Friendship and Betrayal

2nd April 2017:
Hey Rose! Reviewing for the CTF round 2; Gryffindor house.

I'm absolutely mind-blown right now! This started off so nicely - a friendship between a wizard and an elf. I love how they came together to learn from each other – and that they shared adventurous stories. But then it ended on a depressing note - the elf having to leave the wizard because of the contrasting views. You did so well with how you had the wizard view magic as source of empowerment and controlling, whereas the elf saw magic as a need for balance and goodness. I couldn’t help but feel heartbroken with the thoughts that went through their heads that left them at odds with each other – it’s so sad. Nonetheless, I'm amazed. I knew where this was going in the end, but I still had hoped that things would have turned alright between Hywel and Winifred. I totally see this happening as a missing canon – a part in the HP books of the history between wizards and magical creatures, particularly elves. The wizards dominating them. If only they knew how it’d be much better to actually work with elves rather than against or control them. You mention a possible next part to this, I don't see it on here, so maybe it's posted as a one-shot on its own? I'll find it later. Maybe my hope will still come true? It doesn't matter. This was still incredible, and I enjoyed reading this!

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Review #3, by marauderfan Part 1: Friendship and Betrayal

25th January 2015:
Hi Rose! I'm here for our swap. I remember seeing this on your page ages ago and it always intrigued me, as there's not a lot of stories about house elves, and I love that you decided to explore the origin of the subjugation of house elves.

I like how you started out (first because I love that quote) and also because it's kind of like the beginning of a fable. It gives it the properly old-fashioned feel you'd expect for something set in this era of wizarding history. The setting you began with is so interesting too, in a time where house elves and wizards were basically equal. That's such a lovely idea - as well as the fact that they became such good friends and learned from one another!

Even from the beginning you can see signs of prejudice even though their friends, with Hywel doubting Winifred's tale that she rode a dragon just because she's a small house-elf. I love the subtlety of this how it's a reminder that sometimes prejudice is there even when you don't realize it as such.

I think they could have seen through their differences if not for the intervention of Hywel's friend Rhein, who actively seeks to be more powerful and encourages Hywel to do so, as when an idea is commonly held it's a lot harder to challenge than just one individual, which is what Hywel's opinions were before Rhein supported them. I can see the beginnings of the magic is might idea in both of their reasoning, as well as how house-elf magic is more of a 'natural' magic.

Lol at Malmagus estate. I guess he had no chance at being a good wizard even if he wanted to be. :p

I like how you tied in the relations between wizards and Muggles and all the tensions that brings between not only humans but elves as well.

This is a really interesting story and you've brought up such interesting ideas. Are you planning to continue it! I"d love to read the rest!

Thanks for the swap!

Author's Response: So... I should write more stories because I don't want you to run out of stuff to read. :D

I remember when I wrote this I thought it was kind of weird/experimental for me but it's quite reassuring when people say it came across as a fable rather than 'random crazy thing' they read. I think my prompt for this was to write about house elves and it's always bothered me that they are subjugated to wizards - I didn't think they had always been that way and wanted to poke at that idea.

I'm really glad the existing issues came through in the story. I don't think one friendship completed did in the elf/wizard relationships, they just kind of tipped the scale. Rhein is definitely an instigator of more trouble - he's a bit more prominent in the next part of this (which I've actually outlined now). Unfortunately, Rhein is more of the everyday wizard in this period where there are fewer tolerant and understanding ones like Hywel.

Malmagus was my extremely subtle naming sceme. :D

I remember them saying in CoS that muggles and wizards didn't get along in the founder era (which is partly why Slytherin didn't trust the muggleborn students).

I am planning on continuing this!!! I have an outline now and just need to sit down to do it.

Thank you for a wonderful, encouraging review!


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Review #4, by 800 words of heaven Part 1: Friendship and Betrayal

15th January 2015:

So I've been meaning to read this story for a really long time. I think you posted this story not long after I discovered what an amazing writer I'd been missing for far too long, but I somehow never got around to it. But finally, here I am!

I really love the premise of this story! Your tone makes it sound like a fable reminiscent of a Grimm's fairytale, and that just adds a whole new dimension to it. It was interesting to see that you chose the personal experiences of two individuals as the basis of traditional servitude of the house elf. What made you choose this road as opposed to another situation?

I just love the way you've set up both characters. I find myself sympathising with both of them: Winifred, because those are the beliefs and opinions that I personally hold, and Hywel because I can see how his traumatic past experiences affect him in the present.

Another point of this story that I really like is the way you used Hywel's friend Rhein to express the general views of the wizarding population at this time in their history. I can see the echoes of what the Ministry believes (especially in OotP); some of the things that Rhein said very vividly reminded me of the "Magic is Might" statue in the Ministry's atrium. I can also see the beginnings of the tensions that lead to the formation of the International Statute of Secrecy. You've touched on so many social issues in such a simple manner: through the story of two friends who are no longer friends. THAT IS AMAZING.

I really liked this first part, and I hope that you'll eventually post the second half, because I'd love to see some sort of conclusion to this tale. Thanks for the read :)

Author's Response: okay, okay, okay, if you're going to start off a review with such high praise, it makes me melt into a puddle of good unable to respond. *hug*

Part of the reason I went with two friends setting off on different paths was because it ddn't focus on how but why this happened. The other thing that put me on this story line versus exploring the magic behind the house elf enslavement in and of itself is the ToS (and not wanting to write a story I couldn't publish). Ulitmately, a story about two people felt more interesting anyway.

I'm thrilled that both characters were likable and relatable. It was easy for me to see Winifred as likable but I wanted to make sure Hywel didn't just come across as a jerk but rather a nice enough guy with a difficult past.

Rhein was just that - my view into the wider world. he does have a darker view on inter-species bonds but he's not atypical. I'm so happy you were able to see a pre-secrecy world and events that might have made it necessary to go into hiding. i do like fitting social issues into stories that aren't about those social issues.

I have a plan to work on the second part in the next few months! I'll be sure to post when I do.

thank you so much for an amazing review!!


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Review #5, by ravenclaw_princess Part 1: Friendship and Betrayal

12th January 2015:
Hello. Here for your BvB review.

This is such a great story. I love stories that delve deeper in the magical world to try and understand magic at its fundamental level and how it got to where it is today. The introductory paragraph was really good and had me totally hooked. It set a very nice tone to the piece and makes you question what happened to make things as they are.

I really liked Winifred. She comes across as wise and very inquisitive. She's trying to make sense of the world around her by understanding as much as she can. She holds no prejudices between the races and seems to want to know about everything so they can use each of their strengths to make the world better.

Hywel initially comes across as a great friend, but as the story proceeds, his dark side starts to creep in. He seems to be holding some deep resentment and hurt from the events of the past. It got me worried when he was talking about 'striking first' if you think it necessary. This can never end well.

This story wasn't bogged down in metaphors or imagery and I think this created a very nice tone for the story. The dialogue and the characterisations came through stronger this way. The way it was written kind of reminded me of reading old legends and myths, that tell of how things came to be.

This story is quite imaginative and I look forward to reading the second part to see what happens. The world here is definitely not what it is like in the books so I'm keen to see you take on how the magical world came to be as it is today. I'm also interested to see what becomes of the elves.

Well done.

Author's Response: Hello!!

Oh thank you so much for this review. I was in a challenge to write about house elves and the only interesting thing I came up with was an origin story. When I wrote the intro paragraph I felt the story that followed would just fall into place. I"m glad it pulled you in. ^_^

Winifred is very inquisitive which was fun to write. I wish there were more beings like her in general. Hywel has a dark side that does slowly come out. I feel like he would have turned out differently in other circumstances but alas, he didn't. The striking first thing will be a theme later. :-/

I've never been sure if I let the story go with too few descriptions. I can't get over hearing that this sounds a bit mythological. That's not a type of writing I thought I could emmulate.

I will have a second part to this up in the next few months - I made an outline for it the other day. I hope you'll like it!

Thank you for the awesome review!


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Review #6, by UnluckyStar57 Part 1: Friendship and Betrayal

10th March 2014:
Hi!! I'm here for the BvB Review Battle!! :D

I love the idea of this story so far!! There aren't many elves in the Potterverse (if there are any at all), so seeing this friendship between a wizard and an elf was quite a change!! The Churchill quote sums up basically everything that's happened since people started writing things down, and as unfortunate as it is, it's totally true. I can see this parting of the ways between Winifred and Hywel as part of the schism between wizards and other magical creatures.

Winifred is awesome. She's got the whole "wise" vibe going on, and her willingness to learn from other people only makes her wiser. The balance that she advocates for in magic is a good idea--after all, if magic surpasses its limits, bad things could happen! Hywel should've listened to her instead of his friends.

Hywel isn't a bad wizard at heart, I think. He's just been persecuted for being magical, and he doesn't want to be powerless in a struggle. Still, tripping and injuring that Muggle was an awful thing to do. I hope that he learns his lesson later on!!

Your diction is impeccable, and I love the way that your words move the action along. And your dialogue is awesome, which I admire--dialogue is tricky to perfect, but I think you've done it for this story! All in all, this was a great chapter and I'm glad that I picked it!

Will the next chapter be out soon? *bats eyelashes*


Author's Response: Hello!! I'm so sorry I took an age to respond. :( Life has kept me busy!

I'm so glad you picked this story! It was an interesting one to write. I haven't seen people talk about how house elves came about so it was fun(but also not fun) to try writng about. I liked the Churchill quote for this as it gave a sinister overtone to the story.

The idea of magical balance is something I borrowed from other stories/fandoms. It was interesting to compare her idea of magic and balance to Hywel and the idea of maximizing your magical output.

I don't think Hywel is evil, just misguided.

Aw! you're really too sweet! I'm so thrilled you like the diction in this story!!

I'm struggling with the next chapter because my original idea for it doesn't fit in with the TOS. :( I might just leave this one with 1 chapter.

Thank you so much for an awesome review!!


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Review #7, by MargaretLane Part 1: Friendship and Betrayal

5th February 2014:
Not being a fan of Churchill, I'm inclined to feel his saying that is appropriate. *laughs*

Love the introductory paragraph.

And i like the way you have elves magic in tune with nature. You've created a nice difference between their magic and wizards', while at the same time making it clear their magic DOESN'T exist just for the purposes of serving wizards.

I love the general idea of this, as it points out that the assumption that loving to serve in in elves' nature is just wizards' impression and obviously they have reasons for wanting to promote that point of view.

I'm wondering about the betrayal, if Hufflepuff will betray her. Not much like Helga is supposed to have been if he does, but then there is no reason to believe people are like their relatives.

Hmm, I don't like his assertion that sometimes it's necessary to strike first. That could be used to justify all sorts of evil - "we did it in case they MIGHT do something to us if we didn't."

That part about Winifred keeping Hufflepuff as a pet is both disturbing and ironic considering what we know about how wizards will pretty much treat magical creatures, at best, as pets. The "good" wizards seem to see them that way; even Hermione believes they need to be "taught what's best for them."

It's also interesting how they fear her taking his wand, even though her magic is already more powerful than what he could do with his wand. It shows how wizards already have an inherant assumption of superiority in that they assume all other creatures want what they have.

And that makes sense - that Hufflepuff's rather disturbing views about attacking others in case they'd a attack you is the result of his nearly having been killed. It doesn't make it OK - as Winifred said, it's unfair to blame all Muggles for what some did - but it does make it understandable.

I really like the way you show the breach occurring and make both characters' behaviour understandable. It makes sense that he would have anger towards a man who harmed wizards and tried to harm him, but on the other hand, it makes sense that she would not want somebody harmed no matter what he had done. And I agree with her that "brute force is not power." An Irish hero, Terence McSwiney once said, "it is not those who can inflict the most but those who can suffer the most who will conquer."

Excellent first chapter.

Author's Response: I thought the quote would fit well with the chapter - I'm glad you thought so too!! I'm rather neutral when it comes to Churchill - it was just his words I liked here. :D

I was slightly inspired by Dune for the first paragraph. In style, not content.

When I started this, it was a bit difficult to decide how elves were pre-enslavement. Then I remembered how magical blockers that would impact wizards, wouldn't impact house elves. That got me down the path of their magic being fundamentally different.

Countering a widely held assumption by wizards was a main goal of mine for this. I got inspiration for the idea that wizard's would have their own view of history when Ron, Harry, and Hermione argued about whether goblins were really mistreated by wizards. That's also what put me in mind of the Churchill quote.

Hywell is much different than Helga (who is either his dauther or niece). I'm glad you're able to see that not all family members are the same. I haven't decided if Hywell is a bad seed from a good family or if Helga is an anomoly from her family.

That assertion is key for his actions in the near-ish future. I can't write out how he goes about it (it's against the ToS) but he does strike first.

I was definitely aiming for ironic with parts of the narrative. While Winifred was jesting about the idea (which she saw as quite ludicrous) it did sew a seed in Hywell about a threat from elves.

Fear for his wand is really central to his overall issues with elves after this. The idea that these rather powerful creatures can do magic regardless of a magical instrument throws his own dependence on a wand into sharp relief.

I thought it'd be necessary to have some explanationf or Hywell's rather abrupt views. He did take the event with the muggles to an extreme in terms of post-traumatic stress.

I'm really glad you like that scene! Their argument was the point I built up to over this chapter. I love your quote from Terence McSwiney!

Thank you for such a lovely review!! I'll PM you when the next chapter is up.


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Review #8, by maraudertimes Part 1: Friendship and Betrayal

30th January 2014:
Hi again Rose! RB2: Review III!

This is really cool. I've never really wondered as to how house elves were treated before they were used as slaves, if they were ever not slaves even. So this was really refreshing and I really liked it.

It was nice to see a confident elf, making her way through life with her balanced magic. I liked how she seemed to outwit a wizard. And dear Hywel... related to Helga Hufflepuff, eh? I wonder where he gets his prejudice from if it stems more from just the potential burning.

Until the ending, I really loved the dynamic you had between the two characters. They were equal in a sense, as Hemel has more brute power and can easily overpower Winifred, yet the tiny house elf not only possess a greater magic, but a great wit as well. It was sad to see that torn apart. :(

I did like the ending though, as we got to see the start of the decline in how wizards view house elves. It's strange to think that one jilted man could have caused it, a little bit funny even, but very realistic!

I think this piece was wonderfully written and you've created something amazing already. You said in your author's note that there will be further parts, so shall I expect them soon? :)

Great job!

Author's Response: :D

I didn't start thinking about this either until I got a prompt for the magical creature challenge. The slavery angle was something I adopted from Hermione - with her stance that the house-elves were really slaves. I'd like to think that it was her doing research into this story (rather than me :P)

Winifred was meant to be quite different than the house-elves we see in the books. She was clever and just as capable as a wizard at magic. Hywel is her father or uncle - haven't decided which. I think most of it is from the burning and his friend who has wizard-ist views.

I'm so glad that you liked their dynamic! It was a lot of fun to portray wizard and elf as equals though it was sad to then tear them apart.

The next chapter will show more of how Hywel pushed for house-elves to lose their freedom. I can't write about like I wanted to but I think I'll be able to make it doable. I should have it up by 3/1!

Thanks so much for a review blitz! I love it when you go on a spree!


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Review #9, by kenpo Part 1: Friendship and Betrayal

20th January 2014:
Hey, here for the swap!

This was amazing! I loved this! I'd never really thought about how the relationship between house elves and wizards started. I think it's really cool that you've explored it here.

I love how you showed all of the fundamental differences between the two species, and how they balance out.
A wizard is arguably more powerful, but they can have their magic stolen. The wizard is more ambitious, but they fail to see the fundamentals of magic. They have so much that they can learn from each other.

I loved the style of this. I want to say it read very folk-y, but that's not exactly the word that I'm looking for. It read like lore? I don't exactly how to describe it, but I thought it was brilliant.

The way that their ideals differed was so fascinating, but it made so much sense and was revealing to human nature. He's believes so heavily that his magic makes him superior... and he's so insecure about it. It's really really well done.

I'm really glad that I decided to read this one (it took me a while to decide which one to read!), it's such an interesting idea. You've got me really really intrigued.

Author's Response: HellO!!!

I'm really glad you liked this - I didn't have much more than an idea for this and it was hard to tie it to HP. I liked hte idea of a hidden/dark history though which is what I'm trying to explore in this story.

Calling out the differences between wizards and elves was a bit interesting to do. I'm not sure either is implicitly more powerful but the wizards do push their magic more.

I've heard from a few people that this sounds like a folklore story - I'm taking that as a good thing. :D (especially since you called it brilliant)

Hywell seems like a generally good guy to me but you hit it right on the head - he's rather insecure and that will ultimately lead to his corruption.

I'm so happy that the story idea was intriguing!! I hope to have the second part finished sometime soon. I've had to rethink what I wanted to say in the second part as my orignal idea was out of the ToS :(.

Thank you so much for an awesome reivew!


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Review #10, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Part 1: Friendship and Betrayal

11th January 2014:
Hey, it's Sam here, reviewing your entry for my Supernatural Creature challenge. :)

You've picked a very interesting idea for this - I've never really thought about how or why humans treated elves the way they did. That it could have started between two people who were once friends is kind of sad. Everything between them started so well, a wizard and an elf learning about each other and their magic, and everything changes because of a disagreement.

I'm very interested in knowing what happens next, how Hywel reacts. I'm very glad you wrote Wizarding history for this challenge, it's something I always love to read and I enjoyed this very much. :)

Thank you for entering.


Author's Response: Hi Sam!

I had a hard time picking a topic that was interesting for elves. I was on the verge of dropping the challenge when this came to me. After writing this, I found out that it is borderline against TOS so I had to tweak the plot a little. The original thought I had was to say that no one knows that Merlin was helped out greatly be elves before he turned on them - until I looked at dates and figured out that Merlin was a ways ater house elves came about. The friendship gone wrong with huge ramifications was one of my earliest ideas for this.

The next chapter is in the works and will be able to talk about how things deteriorated but not the details on how the house elves were enslaved. I'll be sure to post when it's up!


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Review #11, by shez Part 1: Friendship and Betrayal

21st December 2013:
So I decided to try another story of yours and this one looked really interesting :)

Whoah, I've never read a story about the origins of elf subjugation. This had a very LOTR (Lord of the Rings) feel to it. So lovely! I honestly can't believe an ancestor of Hufflepuff would be so cruel. I really liked Winifred --it seems that elves are more rational about the use of magic while humans are more power hungry and a tad bit ( Hywel ) insecure. I suppose that lends itself to the rift between them.

I really enjoyed the discussion about whether there out to be limits to magic or not, and its interesting how Winifred and Hywel deviate on it. I think this line is a perfect prelude to the eventual conflict between them.

“You don’t deserve to do magic if you’re going to stick with what’s natural and balanced! You’ll always be the weaker race!”


(But seriously, really unique idea! Loved it!)

Author's Response: Hi Shez!

I've cranked out quite a bit since October. I'm glad you picked this, I thought you'd like it!

Um, my brain can't quite compute my writing being compare to LotR. I'm a bit :-o about that. :D I've gotten that a lot about Hywel - I'd like to think of him as the bad seed in an otherwise lovely family. Winifred, and elves in general were more moderate when it came to using magic. I relied a bit on the darker aspects of human nature for this. :-/ it's not the most pleasant lines of thought actually.

^_^ My foreshadowing was a bit heavy-handed. It was an interesting philosophical debate though.

Because I'm mean. :P But, really, they couldn't remain friends for the story to continue on. I feel that in slightly tweaked circumstances, they would have been really great friends.

I'm really glad you enjoyed it! I'm working on the second part and it should be up this weekend!

Thank you for an incredible review!!


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Review #12, by milominderbinder Part 1: Friendship and Betrayal

16th December 2013:
Hiya! Here from the Ravenclaw review battle! Go blue ;)

Gosh, I absolutely LOVED this. You painted a totally different side of the magical world here, something that is really barely ever explored in fic. Yet you weaved it seamlessly into the magical world we already know about, so it felt totally fitting with HP canon even though it's so far from what we read in the books.

I've honestly never read Founders era before because historical stories don't appeal to me much, but this was so captivating that my preferences didn't matter one bit. This really felt like something out of a fairytale or off the pages of a Tolkein novel.

This put a fascinating change on the idea of elves as slaves and kind of made me look at it in a new light.

I love Winifred. Hywel was a good character but I for some reason really loved Winifred's characterisation, and I felt so bad for her when the rift between them was growing! Then again, I could understand Hywel's motivations too... :(

This was definitely an awesome read and a great introduction for me to founders era fic! I'll try and keep up with your updates on this because you really have intruiged me :D


Author's Response: It's reviews from Maia day!!!

I really like the dark and sinister past of the wizarding world. Not just the evil people but the social injustices that were carried out to secure wizards as top of the magical food chain. I had been worried about the story feeling relevant to the series - I'm so excited it did!!!

Founders Era hasn't really made me look twice before. If it weren't for Sam's challenge I wouldn't have dived into this era or story. I think you could knock me over with a feather after your comparison to Tolkein. Really, stay away with any feathers. :P

I really want to go into the magical aspects of enslavement but it's against ToS to take the story down that path. So, I'm stuck thinking through the end of the story.

Aww! I'm really happy you liked Winifred. I had her more clear in my mind before I even decided on what Wizard to say was her friend. I wanted to do Merlin until I did some research and saw he came about ages after Hogwarts was founded.

I'll let you know when I update! I may make it my consolation prize review. :D


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Review #13, by DracoFerret11 Part 1: Friendship and Betrayal

10th December 2013:
Hello there! This is DarkRose from the forums! I saw that you were also participating in the "Supernatural Creatures Challenge" and figured I would come and check out your entry! So, let's go over things:

Grammar/Spelling: The only really obvious error I noticed was when Hywel says "This is a tall tales for such a short elf." Rather than "tall TALE."

Plot: So! First off all, this made me very sad! :( You wrote such a believable back-story for the degeneration of the relationship between elves and wizards and it just depressed me. I was surprised that a relation of Helga Hufflepuff was this callous, though! She always seems so kind and accepting, and Hywel is definitely not! I liked that his background explained his cruelty, though. And I liked Winifred. So wise! ;) The story itself is a sad one, but I understand that it has to be.

Characterization: So, I sort of went over this already, but I'll touch on it again. Hywel surprised me with his cruelty and general malice. I thought a Hufflepuff would act differently! It was VERY realistic, though, that he would be suspicious of an elf for having different ideas about magic than he does. Great job! Winifred herself was very believable. I wonder, though, why she even continued to spend time with Hywel when it became clear that his ideas on magic were destructive in the least, dangerous at most. :P

Descriptions: I think I would have liked to have more details in this story. I understood what was happening, but I couldn't really SEE any of it. Such as, what do the characters and places look like? What are the sights, sounds, smells, etc. around them? I think that could really bring this story to life! :)

Emotions: Man, the feels! I definitely sympathized with Winifred when she was losing her friend. I think she should've just left earlier! Saved herself the pain. :/ But I liked that scene a lot. Well done. I also liked that I could feel the discomfort when the two characters disagreed about magic. Super awkward.

Interactions: I liked that, even in their simple interactions, I could see that Hywel was more driven by desire to learn for his own self-advancement, while Winifred was just curious and wanted to understand him better. That showed their character traits really well.

Style: Stylistically, this was really lovely. Amazing job.

Overall, I think you have a great story here! I definitely have competition! ;) Good luck on the challenge and in writing the rest of this!


Author's Response: Hi Emily!! Your review blew me out of the water!! No idea why I was in the water actually... but, really, I was so incredibly amazed by your thorough and thoughtful words! I'll probably flail around trying to address all the nice things and feedback you gave me. ^_^

I kind of weild the sad when I write. It's really helpful for me to hear when I'm able to hit that feeling in a believable way. Having a Hufflepuff turn out like Hywel was a bit of my own take on having a bad seed in every family. I could see Helga taking up the house elf banner as a way to undo the harm some of her family caused. Winifred was incredibly fun to write! I'm really glad you liked her.

I did grapple for a while with who should be the wizarding counterpart to Winifred. Before I researched house elves a bit, I wanted to have her betrayer be Merlin, but house elves were enslaved before his time. Once I figured out this story had to take place pre-Hogwarts I wanted to make it a familiar family name. Then it was down to which founder family seemed reasonable. I didn't want to use a name that is still in existence in the HP books (just didn't sit well with me).

Winifred is, if anything, an optimistic being. She'll continue to want to see the best in people even when it really doesn't make sense. :(

You're completely right with the descriptions. I'll toy around with what to add to help the story spring to life.

haha, I quite liked writing the awkward disagreement between about magic. Hywel will end up breaking her heart (not in the romantic way). I made myself sad writing this story.

Thanks you so very much for taking the time to leave this amazing review. You really set a new bar for reviews.


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Review #14, by Lululuna Part 1: Friendship and Betrayal

7th December 2013:
Hello! :) I was going to review the next chapter of HIKML but this looked really interesting and new so I thought I'd check it out instead! This challenge was so awesome and I'm really enjoying reading everyone's entries! :D

This is such an original and unique story that fits really seamlessly into the wizarding world. I really enjoyed the explanation of how wizards and elves were once equals, and the ominous hints throughout the story of a more sinister relationship developing. The tensions between the characters were really dynamic: I was quite worried for the sheriff when Hywel got angry, and thought it was interesting how Rhein clearly had an influence on Hywel, like an old form of peer pressure.

Winifred was such a wonderful character, and I like how instead of having one of the slightly babyish house elf names from the HP books she has a more mature name and the way she communicates seems very self-posessed and confident. It was really a great moment when she tried not to seem too full of herself. I also quite enjoyed the explanation of elf magic being about preserving the balance with nature: it was very clever, and made a lot of sense. Hywel seems like a nice guy for the most part, but it was interesting to see how even he could be corrupted by ideas of revenge and power, and how Winifred balances that.

I liked the contrast between Winifred worrying about Hywel thinking dark thoughts, and then Hywel worrying that Winifred is trying to steal his magic. It was a great contrast and hint at how the rift might grow and how others would perceive it and turn on the house elves, which is really sad.

I also loved the tone of the story, it felt like something young wizards might read in a storybook or even a history book which was really neat. You really captured the tone of the time which is tricky to do, and which made the story really engaging. :)

Great job, and thanks for the swap! :D Looking forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Hello!!!

I'm so behind in my respones - I didn't mean to leave you hanging!

It was exciting to get feedback on this! HIKML will be around (well, this will too but I've had less info on it).

Writing this felt closer to OF than I've ever gotten before! Having a future state of the wizarding world, it was kind of neat to devovle that into what could have been a thousand years ago. I'm sure some magical abilties were still being developed by wizards. The tension building was really fun to write. I wanted it to be there but not 100% overt.

My theory for Winifred (and her adult-like voice) was that the deferential/baby talk the house elves do in the books is due to hundreds of years of enslavement. I really can't tell you how much your views on Winifred and her magic made me happy. :D Hywel was probably a nice-enough person with a slight tendancy towards the paranoid end of thinking.

ah! You've pointed out the key issue I wanted to draw out between wizards and elves - while one is looking towards threats and issues, the other is seeking harmony and cohabitation. !!!

This felt like an untold history to me when I sat down to write it. My husband said I should call it "A People's History of Magical Domination" or something. :P I don't think the wizarding world we see in the books would be ready for a story like this. It would be uncomfortable with all the house elves running around. I could see this being a story that Hermione tries to get out there for people.

Thank you so much for an amazing review!! You've really said wonderful things that are inflating my ego!


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Review #15, by TheMarauderChick Part 1: Friendship and Betrayal

6th December 2013:
Hello! I'm Sankavi, here from the review tag thread ^_^

I love how this is (partially) from a elf's pof! It's not something i have seen often, and you've wrote it very well. The dynamics between the elf and the wizard is interesting, and with Rhein's added insight, it kind of reminds me of winky and her masters :)

The only sort of 'criticism' i have is the part where winifred figures out how hywel was was mobbed is very quick to the point where i kind of has to do a double take, because i didn't realize what had happened. i'm so sorry that i don't really know if there's a way tot fix this (or if it even needs fixing . . . ) but yeah. my two cents right there.

I really like this and I can't wait for the second part!

-Sankavi ^_^

Author's Response: Hi Sankavi!!

^_^ It's great to hear that this was something new to read about. Having an elf as a MC was a bit of a challenge. I was trying to set the stage for how house elves got into the situation of being house elves - so someone like Rhein made sense in that time too.

Ah, yeah, I could definitely flesh that out a bit to make it clearer - thanks for pointing that out!

I'm so glad you liked it. I should have the 2nd part out in a few weeks.


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Review #16, by Remus Part 1: Friendship and Betrayal

5th December 2013:
Heya! Rosie/Perelandra here from the forums! I meant to review this last night but friends came over...hahaha, then nothing got done. But man, am I glad I came to read this!

This is such a great idea/twist to the whole elves being enslaved. Is Hywel a descendant of Helga or an ancestor? What I liked about this was that it was a Hufflepuff, not a Slytherin or a Gryffindor to do this.

I absolutely love the description of their friendship and how it goes from real great friends to possible enemies. It seems to me that Hywel is jealous of Winifred's magic for hers is more powerful than his. And the idea of her just taking his wand like it was nothing definitely angered him.

He strikes me of a man who won't let go of grudges that easy. I mean, that poor muggle got his face slashed for revenge, I can't imagine what he has in mind for Winifred! (well...I can...)

Ugh! I wanna know what happens so please don't hesitate to let me know when you've posted the next chapter! :D

Thank you for the great read!


P.S. To answer the question you asked in a review response, yes my hair is curly too! XD

Author's Response: Rosie!!!

We definitely are secret twins then. :D

Thank you so much for reviewing this!! I'm so full of squee with your review.

Hywel is an ancestor of Helga (I can't decide between a father/uncle or grandfather/great uncle. I thought it'd be interesting to have Helga be an advocate for house elves as a "sins of my father" type of action. I'm glad you liked that it was a Hufflepuff and not another family.

The idea that an elf would have more magical prowes than wizards was something I wanted to toy with in this story. Wizards really seem to think of wands as something to keep from other magical creatures (the reaction Narcissa and Bellatrix had to Dobby taking their wand, Winky at the world cup, and Griphook's tirade on wizards and wands). I wanted to make some sort of explanation for that.

I can't write about what he has in mind for Winifred in detail (TOS and all) but, yeah, it is what you think it is/ ;)

I'll definitly post when it's updated!1 Thank you so much for writing such an incredbile reviews.

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Review #17, by Red_headed_juliet Part 1: Friendship and Betrayal

4th December 2013:
This is very intriguing! It's the first Founders Era story I've read, and I wasn't sure if this time period was going to keep me interested, but this definitely did! I like the characterization of each main character. You managed to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. I'll be looking forward to the next chapter. +] The only thing I really can add as far as CC is perhaps you'd like to put a semi colon in one of the sentences in the first paragraph? It's not really necessary, but I think it would help in the pacing. Just an idea. +] Thanks for the interesting read!


Author's Response: Thank you so much for checking this out!! It's my first Founders Era story I've written. It was a bit trippy. I'm really glad it captured your interest and that the characters were well done!!! I'll take a look at the first sentence - I wrote this in a bit of a rush and I'm a horrible editor.

Thank you so much for reading through this!

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Review #18, by Cannons Part 1: Friendship and Betrayal

4th December 2013:
Hi, Rose :D

I'm here for cookies I'm not going to lie!

Wow this was brilliant and showed of your talent for pure story telling. It felt a little like lord of the rings. I don't know why but as I was reading through that's what it felt like to me.

I really enjoyed reading this and will be looking forward to the next chapter.


Author's Response: Hi Cannons!!

...I'll work on those cookies...

I'm also full of squee because of your review!! I couldn't have asked for better feedback! I did feel this story was the closest to an OF that I've written so far - given how far outside of HP canon it is. I really like LotR so it's exciting to be compared to that. :D

I'll definitely post when the next chapter is up!

Thank you again!!


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Review #19, by Rumpelstiltskin Part 1: Friendship and Betrayal

4th December 2013:

Could you please stop writing so amazingly?! You're making Rumpel jealous.


The title is awesome! It's all old-timey and magic-y. I'll stop making up words now.

I love this line, "That is a tall tale for such a short elf." I don't know why it tickles me so much, but it does. It almost reminds me of how an adult patronizes a child.

The concept that and elf's magic cannot be "stolen" was really great. I hadn't thought of it that way; a wizard's power can (for the most part) be taken from them if they are disarmed of their wand. Since elves don't use wands, the source of their power cannot be taken away this way. o.o You're making me think!

Oh my...dim the sun? Well, isn't Rhein full of himself ^.^. Just because you can dim the sun, doesn't mean you should.

The way that Winifred influences Hywel gives me the fuzzies :). She is the essence of morality. I love that elf!

Uhoh. The anti-fuzzies are comming, aren't they? I guess that Winifred didn't influence Hywel as much as I thought she would. At least she got him to think slightly differently.

Oh, I'm super excited for the next part!! ^.^ This way great! It was very original and really fun to read.


Author's Response: Rumpel,

Um, I'll work on that.

Ah! I spent forever working on the title. :D It's mainly thanks to google translator.

I imagine that Hywel felt a bit more adult than Winifred just because she's a small elf (nevermind that she's like 80 years old).

I thought the idea of stealing magic would play into their issues later. It kind of comes up a little in the books where there's a huge issue with Winky having a wand or Griphook's thing about wizards hoarding wands. :D I'm glad I made you think.

Rhein is a bit on the evil overlord side of life. o.o You'll see that later.

She didn't add "the wise" to her name for kicks and giggles. :P Though, I imagine it was someone else that startedcalling her that anyway.

I should have the next part up within a week!

Thanks so much for reviewing! I do love getting your raves. :D


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