Reading Reviews for Nightmare
4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MargaretLane Chapter 1

10th March 2015:
As both the last chapter I reviewed, and this, are quite short, I thought I'd do two.

Really looking forward to seeing what you do with this as a succubus isn't a creature I've thought that much about.

You seem to have a talent for creating suspense. Again here, we are wondering who the woman he is dreaming of and if she is the succubus and if so, how she will affect him.

That part about him feeling weak makes it seem like there's something pretty odd going on here.

These are interesting characters to focus on too. Theodore and Blaise aren't characters we know much about.

Um, that part about the trance he didn't even know he'd been in is intriguing. I'm guessing he is under some kind of spell or something by the succubus and she is the woman in his dreams, but how or why she is haunting him remains a mystery.

I love the way he seems completely spellbound by her when he actually speaks to her. You really show how he is enthralled, especially since he himself seems completely confused by his behaviour, knowing it's not how he normally behaves and unable to understand what is causing him to act differently than usual.

And of course, if he WERE thinking as normal, he'd probably be a little freaked out by the thought of a woman he'd dreamed of actually appearing in front of him.

Oooh, there's something really creepy about his dreams feeding her. I can't help feeling this will be a most unpleasant experience for Theo. I'm not sure what effect taking his dreams will have on him, but the tone at the end makes it seem really ominous.

Author's Response: Hello! I'm sorry about the late reply but my reviews kinda got away from me and now they've built up and I need to answer a lot haha. It's no excuse!

I have to come back to this story and finish it. Thank you so much for your kind words about it.

Oh yes, him being weak is very odd. Something is messing with him.

Yep, if he was thinking as normal he would realise what's happening, but his brain responses are pretty slow because of her.

Thank you once again for the awesome review!

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Review #2, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Chapter 1

11th January 2014:
Hey, Tammi! I'm here to review your entry for my Supernatural Creature challenge.

First of all, I do love a good Theo story. I'm so glad you decided to use him as your main character. Not that any other character wouldn't have been equally awesome, but I'm on a bit of a Theo high at the moment (well, a Tharry high). :D

Also, Tharry - Harry should definitely come and save him.

I was so excited that you kept the Succubus and that you were able to keep it within ToS. I think it's such an interesting concept and I was hoping someone would pick it. She's really evil, this Willow; I do not like her. Using, potentially killing, my poor Theo. I want her gone... but not yet, because it makes such an interesting story. :D

This was so exciting and I can't wait for more! Thank you for entering my challenge.


Author's Response: SAM! MY TWIN!

Who doesn't love a good Theo story? I couldn't not use Theo in this story, it seemed to fit him a lot more than any other character would, apart from maybe a Dramione.
Haha Harry would definitely save Theo, maybe this could turn into a Tharry? Oh the possibilities!

That was so difficult to kept it ToS, took a lot of research and creative thinking. :D

Willow is very evil and I can't wait to write more with her in, there shall be more chapters soon and poor poor Theo shall need saving.

Thank you for the review! :D

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Review #3, by DracoFerret11 Chapter 1

8th December 2013:
Hello there! This is DarkRose from the forums! I saw that you were also participating in the "Supernatural Creatures Challenge" and figured I would come and check out your entry! So, let's go over things:

Plot: So! This was a great take on the succubus creature! I liked that he was dreaming of her even before he'd ever seen her. Things moved a little fast between the first scene in his apartment and the last scene where she goes home with him, though. It might be nice to have a scene where he's at work and distracted, or something like that. Just to make things flow a bit better.

Characterization: I liked that you used Theo! He's one of my personal favorites. :) I wish we could have gotten more into his character, though. It would be nice to see just HOW confused he is when he's dreaming of this strange girl, how his family and friends react to him being so distracted. We got a hint of that with Blaise, but more could help flesh out the story. I also would have LOVED to see how Draco acts just around his friends. :)

Descriptions: Here's another place where more detail could have brought the story to life. I think what you have is good, don't get me wrong, but if you spend a little while with the little things (details, etc.), you could really make this incredibly realistic and maybe even a bit scary.

Interactions: Great job with the first scene between Theo and Willow. I liked that he couldn't control himself. That fits a lot with what I know about succubuses. Awesome job!

Overall, I think you did very well! Good luck in the challenge!


Author's Response: Heya hun!! Aww I'll have to check out your story as well! I bet it's wonderful! :D

Thank you! I had no idea how to even begin with introducing this character and make it follow ToS. That's a really good idea! I didn't even think to include a scene like that, I will definitely have to add something like that in, thank you for your suggestion.

Awww I'm so glad that you love Theo, I love Theo too, he's so underused in my opinion. There will be more to this story! I'm planning on a few more chapters, which I'll explore more on the succubus and Theo's friendships.

Ooo I could make this scary, I would love to make this scary. :D

Thank you so much for your wonderful review hun! And I'm sorry it took so long to resond.

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Review #4, by Warp. Chapter 1

3rd December 2013:
Whoa. This is so chilling. I loved it, great work!

Author's Response: Thank you :D I'm glad that you liked it.

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