Reading Reviews for The Art of Small Talk
100 Reviews Found

Review #1, by KatsClarinet Bam, Bam, Bam! Goes My Life

28th April 2015:
Very nice cliffhanger! I have been reading this off and on all day. Please update soon!

Author's Response: Thank you for being my 100th review! ♥ It means so much to me! I have a lot of exams in the next few weeks but I hope the next chapter will be up soonish! ♥

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Review #2, by SunshineDaisies Introductory Measures

19th April 2015:
OH MY GOD. THIS IS HILARIOUS. I was literally laughing out loud at parts. It's an excellent first chapter.

I absolutely adore Audrey. She's funny and sweet and just so likable. I really like getting to hear her thoughts as things are happening. It's highly amusing. AND SHE'S A HUFFLEPUFF. I'm pretty sure I just love all Hufflepuffs in fic. It automatically endears them to me.

I really like that she's a potioneer! I've been very interested in that particular wizarding profession for a while, so it's really nice to read about that.

I'm less keen on Percy, but I think that's the intention at this point. It's interesting to think of him as an adult after the war. It's really fun to read the parts of him that have stayed the same over the years. I'm very much looking forward to seeing what parts of him have changed as well.

I'm very interested in Draco's role in this story. I'm hoping he comes to play a fairly big part, because I think the dynamic between him and Audrey will be very fun. (And the fact that she forgot his name is so real and so funny. I was called "the intern" at my internship for the first like 4 months. Some people still do call me that.)

I haven't put much thought into Audrey/Percy, but I really like where you're headed with this. I always sort of imagined that Audrey would be a bit more like Percy, but I love that she is just about the opposite. I'm really interested in seeing why George and Verity thought they would be so good together, given how different they are.

This is a pretty amazing start to a story and I'm so glad I read it!

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Review #3, by TearsIMustConceal Introductory Measures

15th April 2015:
Hi! Iím here for the BvB review battle!

I am completely in love with this story! I am so hooked, itís unbelievable and itís all down to your amazing writing! Plus it helps that Audrey is just simply awesome!

I havenít read anything of yours in such a long time but Iím so glad Iíve started with this story! I have definitely missed your writing!

You had me with the first line. Well actually, it was more like the first word. I think this is the only story I have ever read that starts off with a swear word but it definitely makes you want to carry on reading! And the more you read, the more it fits with Audrey and the whole tone of the chapter!

And as for AudreyÖ.sheís completely awesome! I feel like I know her and understand her already and sheís definitely someone I could be friends with! Youíve made her come across as someone relatable and real and I think thatís what makes you want to carry on reading. Her sarcasm and narration is hilarious and it gives us such an insight into Audrey and her life. Using Draco is genius, it connects the story to a timeline we all know and he fits really well! Plus itís lovely to see youíre interpretation of what happened to him after the war but before we see him at the station 19 years later. Audreyís awkwardness and comments she shouldnít make just make her all the more loveable!

And over-enthusiastic Eileen is the best. I love how Audrey describes her and has taken on the way she talks and curses herself. I feel like Eileen is the comic relief in the story; the one you can always count on to make you snigger and roll your eyes in a good way! I donít know what to think about James yet, he feels a little too good to be true so I canít wait to see what you do with him!

Audrey and Verityís friendship is great! I can already see that Verity is that over-bearing, determined friend who doesnít take no for answer but the one you love anyway because sheís awesome. I love how youíve brought the idea of Audrey and Percy as something set up Ė itís fresh and different and makes me want to read more about how their relationship progresses because obviously, it doesnít end well in this chapter!

The small talk between Audrey and Percy is the right amount of awkwardness; small talk is hard at the best of times but talking to Percy must have made it all the more harder! And Percy is the right amount of arrogant that we all know he possesses and the fact that Audrey owns him is funny and brilliant. I feel as that moment there sets up their relationship for the next few chapters at least!

Your writing is amazing anyway, as your other stories show and this story is no different! The way youíve characterised everyone and made Audreyís narration sarcastic and entertaining is just wonderful and I cannot wait to read more!


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Review #4, by merlins beard Bam, Bam, Bam! Goes My Life

14th April 2015:
Ooooh finally... another chapter.

I love how easy it is for Audrey and James to talk to each other and it's great to see how cool she is about all that.

I think the reason Audrey is being taken is that she brewed that potion to "delete" dark marks... I hope she gets through all this without too much trouble. I bet Percy is going to help her.

Can't wait for them to finally get together. It's sooo sweet how George almost tells Audrey that Percy likes her...

I hope there'll be a new chapter soon, because you're leaving me hanging here, fighting the urge to bite my nails in anxiety. If I don't have any fingernails left by the time you update again, I'm blaming you. ;)

Keep up the great work, i can't wait for more.


Author's Response: Hey Anja, yes, I finally updated this as it was long overdue!

I know, I imagine her being a godparent to their children in the future and being this super cool aunt everyone wants and is jealous of.

Yes, that definitely is part of it, though the severity of her crime is explored in the next chapter as well as the role of Percy.

I know, they really are cute and it won't be long now, and there are some moments in the next chapter ;)

I can promise you the wait won't be as long as last time, but the coming weeks are a little hectic so I'll try my best. :)

Thanks for this fab review! ♥


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Review #5, by nott theodore Bam, Bam, Bam! Goes My Life

14th April 2015:
Hey Kiana! Yay, I'm so excited to see another chapter of this story up (and I just sneaked to your page to see Ides has been updated too, I have so much to read)! Although this review might be a bit rubbish as I need to go and get food and so I have to rush a bit :P

The conversation at the beginning of the chapter was interesting - I feel like there's something I'm blanking on but I'm really curious about why Eileen was annoyed with her and whether it also somehow links into everything else that's happening in Audrey's life at the moment. It might do, or it might just be that Eileen's having a bad day and taking her mood out on Audrey. But it was emphasised more than that would be, I think, with James saying later that Eileen's never annoyed at her and stuff, so I'm inclined to think that there is something behind it and it's got some significance for the plot. I just don't know what yet :P

The conversation with James was suitably awkward :P I had to laugh at the way that Audrey was dealing with things though and that her assessment of herself included owning a cat as being a sign of a mature adult. But I liked the way that she decided just to bring it up and out into the open because that way it was easier to deal with. It was sweet to see that James was so relieved to hear her talking about it as well, and the fact that she was okay with him being with Oliver. It was sad that he pointed out that so many people can't deal with him being gay and ask questions about whether he's really sure about it and stuff, but I thought it was a realistic portrayal of the sort of thing that happens.

Audrey's internal monologue was brilliant, once again. She's just such a vivid and likeable character and I really enjoy reading the story from her perspective. I know that I say that in pretty much every one of my reviews on this story, but it is true and it's one of my favourite things about this story. She's so funny with the way that she thinks about things and gets carried away with thoughts in the middle of a conversation or something.

I really enjoyed seeing George and Angelina again too! I'm starting to appreciate how difficult it is to write them but you do such a great job, and I really loved the way that George acted here, and his dialogue just seemed really in character. It made me laugh that Audrey arrived at one of the worst possible moments, probably, with the discussion about love potions going on - both Verity and Angelina expect that Audrey will be on their side and then it turns out that Audrey's actually the one who produced the potion for the shop. Oops!

Hmm, the hints that George was dropping about Percy are really interesting - I wonder if Percy's confided in him and said that he likes Audrey! I definitely think that Percy likes her and is probably more ready to admit it to himself than Audrey would be, and even though she's awkward the problem is likely more deep-rooted. When I think of all the things that have happened in her past, especially with her mum leaving, it's not going to be easy for her to form close bonds with people because there's always going to be that fear of them leaving. Anyway... I'm intrigued to see Percy again and how things develop between them!

Oh wow, I was not expecting the end of this chapter, not at all. I thought you did a fantastic job of creating the tension with the Aurors arriving and knocking on the doors - even though Audrey wasn't really involved so much in the war, I think those fears would still have existed for her, and it's clear that for George and Angelina and Verity, those fears haven't gone away. George is still ready tor react as well, as if the instinct to protect himself and the people he cares about will never go away. It's kind of sad to think that the war had such an impact.

The Aurors were really rough in the way they handled finding and arresting Audrey! I was kind of surprised at that, since she wasn't actually resisting in the first place or running away from them or anything, so bashing down the door and then stunning poor Verity was really terrible. But I was even more shocked at the fact they arrested Audrey for making that potion to help Draco! I wouldn't have thought that it would actually be something worth arrest!

I don't know what's happened to Draco, but I think that Penelope might have had something to do with all of this. And I'm worried about Audrey being able to get out, too, because she's not always great in situations that require quick-thinking and I don't want her to end up in even more trouble! I'm kind of thinking that Percy might turn up and do a Mark Darcy and help her get out of prison, but that's the only theory I can come up with at the moment :P

This was another great chapter and I was really happy to see it up - everything is so hectic for you right now and it can't be easy to find time to write as well, but I love reading this when you do get time to update! ♥

Sian :)

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Review #6, by merlins beard Awkwardness Abound

3rd April 2015:
I really like the plot, this story is great. You might wanna go through it again to fix a few grammar mistakes.

I can't wait for Audrey and Oliver''s breakup...

Author's Response: Thank you, and yes this story does need quite an overhaul, I just need to find the time for it :P Aw, I couldn't wait for it too, thanks for the fab review! ♥

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Review #7, by merlins beard An Exit with Oliver

2nd April 2015:
Very interesting. Oliver could be good for her, boosting her self conficence. I really like the chapter. Sorry the review is so short, i'm writing it on my phone

~Anja (merlins beard)

Author's Response: Yes, I think Oliver definitely could create some positive changes, and don't worry about it, it was really lovely and thanks for the review!

♥ Kiana

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Review #8, by merlins beard Introductory Measures

31st March 2015:
Hi. I'm here for the Ravenclaw Easter Gift Tag.

I loved the chapter. I can almost hear Audrey being a little out of breath all the time because she is rushing through her thoughts so much. I always imagined Audrey to be the polar opposite of percy, but i also love how she is a little insecure. It will be interesting to see how percy copes with her chaos.
I'd love to meet you just to see if you talk as much and as fast as i imagine audrey does.
I'm glad i found this story through tje easter gift talk, because i really like it and i'll definitely keep reading.

Author's Response: Hey there!

I'm so glad that you liked it, as Audrey has a very special place in my heart. Bahaha, yes, her and Percy are very, very, very different but then I feel that sometimes that helps relationships as you can learn from one another. I do talk quite a lot and quickly too, but I would like to Audrey is more extreme than me. :P I'm so glad that you did like and thanks for reading on! :D


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Review #9, by UnluckyStar57 Introductory Measures

30th March 2015:
Hi Kiana! I wanted to leave this review for you for the Gift Tag because you posted the thread and all. So Happy Easter, and here we go!

I noticed that this story is really close to getting 100 reviews, so I wanted to help you get there. :)

Okay, review time:

This story is awesome. I will now defend this thesis with a series of points:

Point One: The humor in here is so clever and strange. I lol'd several times because of something one of the characters did or said. Audrey is such a vibrant and interesting narrator, and I can already tell that she's going to be an Unreliable Narrator, so that's going to be a lot of fun. The characters who feature in this chapter have such varied personalities and they definitely aren't throwaways, which adds a lot of color and general amazingness to your story. From the beginning to the end, I was very much reminded of Bridget Jones's Diary/Pride and Prejudice, which are two things that I can never, ever resist.

Whoops, did I consolidate my points into one big point? Hopefully Verity won't come after me...

Seriously, I think of all the side characters in this chapter, my favorite one was Eileen. This line was an absolute gem: "Then again, over-enthusiastic Eileen is also Eileen who is in charge of overseeing the personnel of the Potions department and unless I want her to be over-enthusiastic in cuts I have to be nice." There were so many good lines, but this one really did it for me. It summed up Eileen's whole entire personality in one humorous swoop, and I was really impressed by that.

How do you keep the humorous tone so present in your story? Like, I've read some of your serious stuff, but this is so funny--I can still tell that you've written it, but I applaud you for having the versatility to write in such diverse styles. :D

Ooh, forgot to mention that I really love how the acronym for this story, TAoST, looks like "toast." Toast is always good.

The Bridget Jones vibe was especially strong in Audrey's first meeting with Percy. I got really excited, because the "ooh, you're such a prat" scene is always what gets the ball rolling for P&P-inspired stories. The romance train is leaving the station, all aboard! And Audrey herself is a brilliant character--she does have that stereotypical awkwardness that a lot of fanfic characters have, but she subverts it in interesting ways. I love the presentation of a stereotype and then its subversion, so reading her narration of events was really fantastic. And I mean, I definitely identify with her, so that's a major plus. :)

Draco is such an awkward baby, I just want to squish him in a hug. :P

Well, anyway, you did such an amazing job setting up your story and characters in this chapter that I'll have to be back for more in due time! I look forward to seeing where Audrey's story goes.


Author's Response: Hey Mallory! Aw, thank you, that was so sweet of you! ♥

Oooh, yay, thank you for that! I'd forgotten how close it was :P

Bahaha, I'm so glad that you liked them and whoo for Bridget Dairyness/Pride and Prejudiceness as I love those two things too and they definitely did help inspire (a lot I should say :P). I'm sometimes worried about how crazy the characters appear as though because this writing this is quite relaxing for me, so sometimes I release too much tension and I'm like people will think I'm insane if that person says/does that, but so far the results haven't been too bad. :P

Aw, thank you so much! I love Eileen too, even though she isn't really a character you're meant to love but go ew at as she is kind of ew worthy but she's just so much fun to write too as she's just so crazy and I love her for that! ♥ (okay, I did not know I liked her so much until I started replying to this review :P)

Aw, thank you so much! I'm not really sure, I wish I could write more humour as I enjoy it a lot but at the moment life isn't all that fun for me with exams and stuff so I tend to write more angst. :P

Bahahah, toast is good!!! ♥ ♥

I know, the romance train is definitely ready to rock and roll though I'm not if Audrey's ready to join it. I'm so glad that you didn't find it too stereotypey because I was worried Audrey might be the typical clutzy girl falling for the serious guy, so everytime I write her it's like please, please, please be okay. :P (if that makes sense) and whoo for identifying with her, as I do too, probably too much as I'm prone to have at least 10 awkward moments a day.

I know, he does need a hug!

Thanks for this fab review, it definitely made my day and gave me a kick to go post the next chapter! :D


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Review #10, by nott theodore The Singleton State

8th January 2015:
Hey Kiana! ♥ Ah, I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to get to review this chapter but things have been really hectic recently - I was kind of hoping that I'd still get the first review when I got round to it, but it looks like Benedrick got there before me :P

*parties with you for this passing 50K and becoming a novel*

I loved this chapter! I know you've been really hectic and busy but I've missed this story and I was so happy to see it updated again!

After seeing Audrey's mum come back I was wondering how she would react when they finally had to talk about some of the bigger issues that lie in their past, because obviously she doesn't like confronting issues that could be awkward and this one - her mother's abandonment of her - is bound to be difficult to talk about.

I thought you approached it really well, though, and wrote her reactions and feelings brilliantly for the scene that was taking place. I liked the way that she kind of tried to make small talk and divert the attention away from the issue and then suddenly she comes blurting it out and can't help it - and then that leads to a reunion of sorts between her and her mum.

What her mum said, about having loved her too much, is really sweet, and I can understand why Audrey would be able to forgive her after hearing something like that and knowing that it's true, although I'm glad that you didn't instantly make everything okay between them and give them the perfect relationship straight away.

I also adored the detail about her mum reappearing in all the family pictures again, so that she'd actually been there all along - I think it's such a clever idea that someone might go missing from pictures when they abandon their family or something similar. And the little detail about her mum's scent of lavender was great, too - I think that's the sort of thing she'd always remember even if she tried to forget her mum.

The conversation between the girls is always fun to read; the characters are so likeable and vibrant. The line about Audrey's cat being a secret alcoholic was hilarious - it had me cracking up! But I really liked her friends' assessment of the situation between her and Oliver and her and Percy, and that - of course - Audrey doesn't want them to talk about the chance of her and Percy because she's not ready to believe it herself. The little story about Jemima and Charlie fit in well, too!

Ah, a little glimpse of Percy and Audrey together and finally they manage to get through a scene without arguing! I was so proud of them! I'm hoping things can start to develop here between them now ♥

Ooh, that twist about Penelope was really interesting! I didn't like her from the outset because she was so annoying and mean to Audrey but I didn't really expect her to end up tied up in something like this, and I didn't really expect something like this to turn up in the story either - I love all the layers and dimensions to this novel! I'm really intrigued about what they were doing and what they wanted from Audrey's office - is it the potion that she made for Draco?

This was a great chapter, and I'm looking forward to seeing how things develop from here - I'm sorry that this was only a short review, though!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hey Sian, it's fine I've been terrible at responding to all your lovely reviews recently, so don't worry about it at all! Bahaha, yes, Benedrick was quick speedy at reviewing this!

Aw, I'm glad you liked the think with Audrey's mother, because I think though Audrey does appear to be very confident a lot of the time, she does some have some issues with her mother and getting closer to people because even though it may seem as if it's just awkwardness, I have a feeling it might be something more deep-rooted and linked back to her mother.

No, Audrey and her mother's relationship is definitely a WIP, as there is a lot of trust which needs to be re-built, and I think the fact that they've been apart for so long means they actually need to get to know one another again and understand what they've been up to in the past few months. Plus, even though Audrey is more lenient when it comes to giving second chances compared to other people, she does want to be sure it really is the right thing to do first.

Haha, I'm glad you liked the thing with the family pictures because I can't remember who it was with but J. K. Rowling did something similar and it really is true. These magical pictures are like mini versions of their lives so it makes sense that if there has been some sort of rift between people it's echoed in that too.

Aw, I'm glad you liked that as it's a lot of fun to write as it's just nice and easy banter. Bahaha, yes, Jemima and Charlie was a random one to throw in but I did want Charlie to have a romance of his own even if J. K. said he didn't end up with anyone in the end.

Yes, things really do start developing from here! You'll just have to watch and wait really! :D

Hmm, hmm, hmm, well, sort of linking to the above, things do start changing from this point onwards in regards to Percy and Audrey and Penelope and the potion. I guess you could say that they're all linked but how you'll have to wait and see.

Aw, this was a really long review so don't worry about it, and thank you for it as it was so lovely! ♥


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Review #11, by Blunderbus Crampingsquash The Singleton State

7th January 2015:

I am the sole reviewer for this latest chapter of yours, it would seem. Well, someone has to be first.

And at last. Plot twist. Penelope Clearwater, affiliated with the dark side? Trespassing and leading a band of rogues into Tinley's office? The Dark Mark Removal Potion secret has been uncovered? I shall be on the scene at once. I always knew Clearwater was cancerous.

Oh, you wrote a make-up scene with Tinley and her mother. That was really quite adorable, though I must admit I can't relate. Who knows, maybe Mycroft can. But that was a good exchange, and I did enjoy reading that.

Also, good to see Je-mi-ma and Verity and Tinley having one of their gossip get-togethers again. And Weasley. That was a far more pleasant appearance of him, compared to the earlier chapters. I suppose things will start to develop between Weasley and Tinley? And Clearwater will be stark raving mad, I'm sure. She has serial killer stamped all over her frownlines.

Well, patronus_charm, this is the last published chapter of your story so far. I have truly enjoyed reading this, and getting to know Tinley and all the chaotic elements of her life. I am...grateful that you've been so tolerant of my presence. Thank you, I think? I have also enjoyed reading your other stories, and I do indeed think you're a very talented author. I hope to see more of your work soon. (You promised me a murder.)

John and Mrs Hudson send their love. Anderson sends what little IQ he has left.

Blunderbus Crampingsquash

Author's Response: Indeed, many congratulations on winning that race and I must say it is quite a sad occasion for me as this is the last review of yours to answer!

Whoohoo, a plot twist - such fun! Indeed she is, the Dark Mark Removal Potion (I really must come up with a simpler name for it!) most definitely has something to do with it, your deduction skills are most apt!

Why thank you, maybe if you hold a make up scene with Mycroft you'll be able to relate to them and it will probably do you some good too.

Yayayay for gossip, it really is great! I do ♥ Weasley and perhaps some of that ♥ will grow between Weasly and Tinley, though it could do with infecting Clearwater too as it might calm her down a little.

Why thank you, I do hope that when future chapters are posted you do continue reading as your comments were most enchanting! I shall give you murder in the future, I'm just working on it for now.

I send my love back to them! ♥

Thank you for being the best ever secret santa, I could not have asked or dreamt up something better than this! ♥

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Review #12, by Buttondown Clownberry A Multitude of Stilted Sentences.

7th January 2015:
*slams fist on table*

Hah. I knew it. Pewter was indeed a love rival for Tinley. Their names pretty much spelled it out. Although, who did I pair him up with in my initial prediction? Anyway, I revised that, the moment I read about Tinley coming across Pewter and Wood howling like hyenas in St Mungo's.

I enjoyed this chapter, patronus_charm. The talk between Wood and Tinley, and how the stiltedness gradually gave way to some measure of honesty, and then to laughter and forgiveness and then excessive sentimentality.

Greengrass was an interesting character to read about, and I suppose it was mildly hilarious seeing Tinley sitting in some hippie cafe sipping green tea. Nice play on Greengrass's name, making her such a hippie. Rather original portrayal of her, as well. Maybe Malfoy can loosen up a little with her; he's definitely showing a decrease in the constipatedness of his demeanour. Well, I suppose I ought to be nicer to him, because the whole wizarding world is still hurling verbal stones at him and his family. But, being nice is boring. Let Greengrass and Tinley be nice.

I'll just sit here and read on, meanwhile.

Buttondown Clownberry

Author's Response: Hi there Buttondown Clownberry!

Indeed he was, I'm quite sad that I did not intend for their names to match and that was a pure coincidence but I'm glad you appreciated it!

Aw, thank you so much, I was quite proud of the two of them for finally getting it out at in the open as they do quite dilly dallying around and aren't known for being prompto.

I know, she is rather odd and strange compared to Draco too! I'm glad that you liked her too, and Draco should definitely lighten up in her presence as you put it so nicely.

Thank you for this wonderful review! ♥


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Review #13, by Bangbongbing Crosbyish Mother, Mother, Mother, etc. etc. etc.

7th January 2015:
No, no, no, no, everything is not okay, Tinley. This is what they call 'on the rocks', and I don't mean the shots you gulp down so frequently. The increasing frequency of the blow-ups, the refusal to talk about important matters, the lack of affection - this 'ship' as it is called, is surely disintegrating mid-ocean. It's doomed. It's sinking to a watery grave.

Oh, well.

And oh, yes. Most important thing of the chapter: the maternal plot twist! Pop! Mummy comes back into the scene. I don't blame Tinley or fault her reaction one bit. Every time my parents come to visit, I pretty much shout, 'yes, yes, tea tomorrow' and shove them outside and slam the door on them. John knows all too well. So Mummy has spent her the last fourteen years recuperating in a pub, has she? Interesting.

I'm keen to read more about her, and how she'll fit herself back into the mayhem of Tinley's present life. Truly, I'm invested in your story. I suppose this is how Mrs Hudson and John feel, watching the telly every night for their favourite soap.

Bangbongbing Crosbyish

Author's Response: Whohoo for shots, they're so much fun Bangbongbing Crosbyish you should really try them out. I know that she lacks understanding at times, but as I said, let's just pity her for now because when she realises what's really been going on, she's going to be in for a not so pleasant surprise.

Bahaha, yes, last time it was Audrey thinking she might be a mummy but this time it's her own one returning. Yes, maybe you should swap mothers because then you'll never have to see yours and Audrey will get all the attention she so dearly craves and all will be happy.

Aw, that comment touches the cockles of my heart and truly made me smile so thank you for that. Yes, I imagine it certainly is how they feel!

Thanks again for this fab review! ♥


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Review #14, by Buxomblonde Crozzlesputch Awkwardness Abound

7th January 2015:
Small talk. Small talk. Small talk is the utter bane of my existence. The senseless, incessant chatter!

That lunch date between Tinley and Wood was as awkward as the neck of a man who's just tumbled down two flights of steps. Clearly, small talk is indeed a very difficult (but worthless) art, and I'd advice Tinley not to bother with it any longer. Except she seems bent on it.

Wood's outburst was amusing. Still raging over the past, I see. Well, I suppose Malfoy did poison a couple of Wood's house-mates, though sometimes you have to wonder, how some people even have the capacity to get so angry, to contain so much sentiment. Sentiment, bah! It takes up space, which can otherwise be allotted to reasoning, deduction, logic. Wood and Tinley's relationship appears to be deteriorating.

I like that you inserted Tinley into a Weasley scene. I like the banter between George and Percy Weasley, and things definitely felt less tense between Tinley and Percy for a moment. Until the arrival of that letter.

Ah, the mysterious letter. A plot twist at last.

Buxomblonde Crozzlesputch

Author's Response: I am ever so sorry, but Audrey, on the other hand, wishes to master it so we must support her in that wish.

Therefore, if it is like that, it must have been very awkward as I do not even want to imagine the amount of breaks and rips he caused within his body. Bahaha, I agree as it seems like she'll never master it.

He is, and I suppose he will continue to do so as he doesn't seem like one of those people who are very receptive to change but prefers to cling to the past instead. I suppose Malfoy did do that, but it should not cause the deterioration of Wood and Tinley's relationship.

#banter #bantz #banterbrigade ooh everyone loves a bit of bant-ta-ta especially those guy.

Whoohoo for a plot twist, sadly it does not result in a murder, I apologise. ♥

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Review #15, by Benzedrine Cockerel Bleak and Bleaker

6th January 2015:
Missed me, patronus_charm? I was away on a short excursion to tear apart the vast subterranean spider-network of yet another criminal mastermind. That, and I was writing a blog on the tensile strengths of a range of natural fibres.

Tinley has been busy as well, I see. Busy making all sorts of incorrect deductions, that is. First, about pregnancy, which thankfully doesn't apply to her. Because if she were indeed pregnant, she would be hyperventilating and half-throttling Je-mi-ma, and they would both end up accidentally Apparating, Splinching themselves in several places along the way to their unknown, unplanned destination, which will turn out to be the bathtub of a guestroom in the Leaky Cauldron. Which, naturally, will be occupied by a guest, who will turn out to be a very cramped Hagrid. Right.

Aha! The dirt has been dished on Wood. Can't say that I didn't expect this; he always has been a shady character, and I'm not referring to a tree. Clearly, high school grudges just never die, and instead carry over to inflict their torment on adult life. I do hope Tinley picks herself up and gets on with her life. I imagine she doesn't have a lot of options at the moment; her relationships are so unpredictable and drama-infested.

Grey feathers are found it upon it though donít bother even asking me what species it is as I have no clue.

^ That, Tinley, is a Great Grey Owl, also known as Strix nebulosa. And the mysterious letter? Obviously, it was sent by her great-grandstepson from the future. That, or it was Percy Weasley.

I shall read on.

Benzedrine Cockerel

Author's Response: I did indeed as I was growing quite used to your presence and was unsure what to do without it!

Indeed she has, bahaha, her deductions are never the best ones especially so when she is in a hungover state and running around. We must pity her is all I can say. I do think you are quite correct in that assertion about the splinching and throttling Jemima as Je-mi-ma is far too happy in serious situations.

I think his name leads to a natural inclination to have dirt following him around in both senses. High school grudges will never fade, John can surely support that statement as he must have plenty.

Neither she nor I had any idea about that so thank you, I suspect her great-grandstepson from the future, it is the much more obvious choice!

Thank you for this fab review! ♥

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Review #16, by Bahhumbug Christmascrank April Fool's

25th December 2014:
To sum up: yes, this chapter was pleasing.

I see you've been juggling ships in this chapter: Draco/Astoria, George/Angelina, Weasley/Tinley/Wood. I know how this is going to turn out: some buffoon is going to get his hands on a timeturner and muck up the space-time continuum and the end result will be happily ever after for the following ships: Draco/George, Percy/Astoria, Oliver/the whole of the Holyhead Harpies, and Tinley/Firewhiskey.

I think I enjoyed the George/Angelina here. I paid particularly close attention to Angelina's way of banishing the grating presence of her one-eared, idiot boyfriend by shoving him into the fireplace and Floo-ing him off. I must try this tactic the next time Mycroft pays me a visit, except of course I'd send Mycroft to some barren alpine wasteland in Nepal where he can enchant water and be a gluten free vegan. I've never seen the point of gluten-free vegans.

So Tinley has made off with Wood now, has she. RE-VENGE. Interesting motive.

As for me, I'm currently shipping myself with my nicotine patches. Less drama.

Excellent read, patronus_charm!

Bahhumbug Christmascrank

Author's Response: Hello Bahhumbug Christmasscrank!

Yes, there were an awful lot of ships and romance going on in this chapter and I hope you could handle all these outward displays of love and emotion. Bahahaha, if someone did do that I would love it so much and I especially love the fact that you paired Audrey with firewhiskey, as I'm sure she'll probably be just as happy with as with a man.

I think you should definitely copy that tactic as it is very clever and could get rid of multiple enemies for you as you could simply vanish them off to any area of the world and they would be gone for aeons and what could be better than that?

She has, and she really should stop doing things for revenge as it never turns out.

I will support that ship as it does sound very cute! ♥

Thanks for another awesome review, Bahhumbug! :D


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Review #17, by Bandicoot Corncobus One Bombshell, Two Bombshell, Three Bombshell, Four.

23rd December 2014:
Hello again, patronus_charm! Pewter is gay. My surprise is enormous. Now Tinley can have a gay best friend, and they can both exchange fantasies about Wood. Pewter and Tinley. Has a nice - ring - to it, don't you think? I suspect the hospital will be thrown into uproar, as everyone there of the female, heterosexual persuasion will be voicing their dismay at St Mungo's Former Most Eligible Bachelor.

And Tinley is going the extra length to scrub a mark of a skull vomiting out a live snake from Malfoy's arm. She has a sense of empathy that I'll never have or want. In fact, I was thinking, if I were Tinley, I'd just solve Malfoy's tattoo troubles by amputating his arm. Malfoy is rather docile in this chapter, hmm? I'd like to see just what sort of character this Greengrass is.

Clearwater has a habit of cropping up everywhere in a rather unwelcome manner, not unlike a cluster of cancerous cells. There she goes, spewing her venom again. And Weasley's appearance was rather interesting. Tiinley seems surprised to see this new side of Weasley - or at least a slippage of his bossy, turgid facade.

As always, any scene with your scheming triumvirate of matchmakers are amusing to read. Out of the three of them, I like Je-mi-ma's approach the best: no need for all this taking it slow business, rush them into it.

Great chapter; see you in the next instalment of Tinley's distracted, bumbling inner world.

Bandicoor Corncobus

Author's Response: Hello Bandicoor Corncobus!

Bahaha, yes, they can! I never thought about them being gay best friends but I feel as if I should write that into the story as it would be so great and funny. There will definitely be uproar, but then I think they'll all be clamouring to claim him as their gay best friend too.

I know, she is a great friend, though I'm sure you have other qualities which are just as great as having empathy. I think amputating them is rather extreme, especially given that as he is a potioneer it would mean he wouldn't be able to do much work. Greengrass is an interesting character shall we say!

She does, but don't worry like cancerous cells she will see an end though how soon the end will come is another thing. Weasley is just a very interesting character indeed, who does not love him for that.

Bahahah, yes, Jemima's approach is perhaps the most effective as one does get to the point a lot more quickly her way!

Thank you for another wonderful review, Bandicoor! :D


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Review #18, by Buffalo Custardbath Papa-Paparazzi

22nd December 2014:
Clearwater is up to murder, that's what. I propose that you rename her Murkywater in the chapters to come. And Wood is most certainly not what he seems. One would imagine Wood to be solid and impassive and fairly thick; I think Sneak is a more appropriate name for him. He's manipulating the press, feeding the paparazzi in a very specific way. All the kissing manoeuvres between Wood and Tinley were very well-engineered: allow me to quote my favourite line.

I feel his lips smash against my own, and Iím not too ashamed to say that I respond accordingly.

Lip-mashing, is there? Mash and blend a little longer, Tinley, and you'll have cooked up sticky lip jam and you and and Wood will be attached at the jaw for all eternity while the paparazzi blind you with their cameras.

Ah, Clearwater and Weasley are having a moment of drama now, are they? Clearly (pun inevitable, really), Clearwater is pregnant with triplets and Wood is the biological father, except Wood is a crappy prospective father, so she's trying to uh, reconnect with Weasley. And live happily ever after, I expect. My deductions are never wrong, by the way. I am becoming more and more invested with your depiction of Weasley. There's something enigmatic about him; the others dismiss him as a boring old fart, which he is, but there's also something unknown about him. He never stays long in any scene. I look forward to Tinley and Weasley's next confrontation. I can imagine it will be far from pleasant, given that Weasley just walked in on Wood and her lipjamming.

Malfoy going to tea with three older ladies is an amusing scene to imagine. Think of it: three of them gossiping over his head, absently straightening his robes and treating him like a baby as they matchmake him. Not such a fearsome Death Eater anymore. It was very interesting that Verity stood up for him and sparked a bit of a political moment.

The first victim has yet to be murdered, but I'm waiting and keeping a hawk-eye on these characters.

Buffalo Custardbath

Author's Response: Hello Buffalo Custardbath!

I think the new name you suggested is very apt, and I may certainly go ahead with it as she does need something which relates to her sneaky nature! Bahaha, I would think back to the original nature of wood when it comes to Oliver Wood, as though he does seem quite cunning here, he's more naive and does what he pleases rather than out for malicious intent.

Yes, yes, not the best description but Tinley does lack poetic qualities in her descriptions! Plus, what you describe does not sound pleasant in the slightest so I shall warn her to heed caution when it comes to Wood.

Yes, they are, they are all about the drama after all! Bahahaha, I am loving the pun and your humour is faultess as usual. Oooh, I never thought you would be one to dabble in theories and ideas such as that as I would have thought they would be too infantile for your liking, but I'm glad to see that you are changing, Buffalo! Bahahaha, lipjamming *dies of laughter* I don't think I can ever recover from that description as it's far too funny. :P

Yes, it's all about what sort of publicity you get, though it would damage his street cred and the others might be presumed to be coogars, it would help with his rehabilitation significantly so they should be applauded for their efforts.

As for the murder you might have to wait a while for that! Thanks for a marvellous review though! :D


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Review #19, by Butlerdidit Cluedocrap Quidditch Confrotations

22nd December 2014:
Publicity stunt. What did I tell you? I told you so, that's what!

Oh hello, patronus_charm, in case you've forgotten who I am, I'm supposed to be -- some sort of gift-bearing ho-ho-ho-ing cookie-devouring chimney-crawling yokelish Yuletide figure.

I rather enjoyed the little gossiping hen segment with Verity, Je-mi-ma and Tinley. And so Tinley plans to do some matchmaking herself, does she? Meddlesome girl. Of course, I already know who Je-mi-ma will set Malfoy up with. It's Eileen, or I'll eat my overcoat.

I'm almost feeling sorry for Malfoy, which is a feeling that is very, very wrong, given that I'm a high-functioning sociopath and humanity is beneath me. But I do enjoy the developing relationship between Tinley and Malfoy. Tinley is a mentor figure to him, a very meddlesome matchmaking mentor figure.

Clearwater showed up at the Quidditch match. My calculations were accurate, naturally. Naturally there was a bit of a catfight, though I think it was rather humorous and a little refreshing to have this squabble take place in front of George and Angelina. George's restraint on taking sides during the match is funny. Puerile but funny. Well, if I were in his position and I did not wish to damage the delicate dispositions of either his mate or his sister, I'd cheer for the Bludgers.

And there we have it: The Kiss. The Publicity Stunt. Tinley's going to be big in the news. Tinley's going to be possibly vilified because she recently appeared in a Daily Owl photograph, leeching on to one Percy Weasle. Ooh, the mess, the drama! Let it stew! Let it fester!

Excellent chapter, patronus_charm! I'm pleased.

Butlerdidit Cluedocrap

Author's Response: Bahaha, I'm not too sure about that! I could never forget you either Butlerdidit Cluedocrap as you're too awesome for that!

Yayyaya for gossiping, as everyone loves a bit of that as it does reveal the true nature of a lot of people which is cool. She does indeed, though I'm not too sure about Malfoy being set up with Eileen as she's trying to make him a nicer person and I don't think being with Eileen will help wiht that.

You should feel sorry for him, reach into the depths of your heart and pull out that emotion as he deserves it. I'm glad you are enjoying Tinley and Malfoy's relationship even though she perhaps isn't the best mentor given how cray cray she is!

She did, she did, indeed, as your calculations are always without fault. I'm very glad you enjoyed the squabble as it was a lot of fun to write as it reminded me of my sister and myself, so it was fun to evoke those memories. Cheering for the bludges does actually sound like an excellent plan and I must mention it to him next time I see him.

Okay, I can see why you would think it was a publicity stunt, but I'm not too sure if that was what Wood intended it to be as I personally believe he was so excited by the match this was his way of expressing his emotions. The drama will certainly fester on and create even more of it!

Thanks for another amazingly awesome review! ♥


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Review #20, by Bandersnatch Calloohcallay An Interlude of Fame

22nd December 2014:
Ah, something unsavoury about Wood, is there. I knew it. I knew it the instant he popped into the story. And now let me deduce: Wood is up to some publicity stunt. Either that or he's secretly an alien from the planet Tralfamador and he's on a mission to kidnap humans to fill out their human enclosure in the Tralfamadorian zoo, a la Vonnegut style.

Further deduction: Tinley is going to assist Malfoy in scrubbing that silly mark off his arm using some home-made, possibly illegal concoction. The amount of fuss that the wizarding world puts into a silly tattoo is laughable. But I must say I enjoy reading your Malfoy. Very fresh, quite a change from the usual smirking git, or the haunted ex-Death Eater seeing dead people all the time. Honestly, Malfoy's catchphrase should be 'I see dead people', and he should have a starring role in M. Night Shyamalan's The Sixth Sense.

What am I talking about?

Ah, Tinley. Weasley is halfway decent, I must say, taking the trouble to visit her residence to hand-deliver a warning to her. A rather ineffectual one, though. Why does Weasley care so much? Clearly, he harbours repressed desires for her. Perhaps her intoxicated side made him realise what a turgid, pompous buffoon he is, and now he's being socially awkward and trying to gain her favour in his buffoonish ways.

I do not think I've ever complimented you on Tinley's voice. Well, I'm honest. I shan't hold back this compliment any longer: I do enjoy Tinley's voice very much, her sense of humous, all the clutter of her thoughts. It makes brilliant accompaniment with this violin concerto I'm playing. And Tinley's family relationships are positively endearing.

I suppose I should thank you for such an entertaining chapter. Well, thank you. There you go.

Bandersnatch Callohcallay

Author's Response: Hello Bandersnatch Callohcallay!

Yes, there is something a little suspicious but I wouldn't hate on him just yet as there is a lot more to be revealed which may change your perception of him so just hold out for a bit. (also, I'm not sure Wood is an alien, I know he is a bit strange but you may need to re-think this idea :P).

The further deduction is certainly correct as Audrey is all for things illegal as that's her jam! I know, tattoos are just marks so they do need to calm down on the hype about them just a wee bit! Yay for Malfoy, I am liking the catchphrase though as it is very catchy (lol, terrible pun/joke/thing!) and I am sure he would love to be an actor too!

I do not know as I cannot read your mind sadly!

Yes, Weasley is a peculiar being but a very caring one too so we must applaud him for that characteristic as it is a very charming one to have. As for repressed desires, they certainly are as I'm not even sure if his mind is aware of the feelings he holds for her just yet.

I do not think you have either but I am glad that you do like as I thought it would be a little too messy and incomprehensible for you but that means great things for me, but you would make a fine duo I must say.

Thank you for a positively enchanting review! ♥


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Review #21, by Bentobox Carrotmash An Exit with Oliver

21st December 2014:
Yes, yes, yes. Merry Christmas. Happy New Year. I personally prefer, 'Bah, humbug.'

You doubted my return, didn't you, patronus_charm?

Hello again, Tinley. This is my updated deduction of her character: orange hair on her robes - probably owns a cat, is probably one of those 'crazy cat ladies' as they so love to dub themselves on social media websites. And her cat's name probably begins with an A, in a sentimental gesture of solidarity with Tinley's own first name ('Audrey'). Long, messy hair? Tinley is probably trying to emulate a Greek goddess, so I'm going to guess she named her cat 'Athena'. Though I am fairly certain that the Greek goddess Athena was never portrayed cat hair. Tinley likes to sleep? That's because she's secretly an addict to Sleeping Potions. Takes one to know one, Tinley.

This James Pewter. Aha. He is gay, isn't he? Yes, he is. He is going to be a potential love rival for Tinley, as I'm fairly sure he'll be hitting on Percy Weasley the second he sets eyes on him. That will happen in precisely one and a half chapters. I sense some ugly rivalry between Pewter and Tinley.

After all, Pewter? And Tinley? I saw through that right away. And of course, you added Wood to this...interesting mixture of elements/compounds/metals. Wood and Tin and Pewter? I know exactly what you're doing, patronus_charm. This is a plot. A dastardly and evil plot.

OK, Oliver Wood and Percy Weasley aren't the best of friends, eh? Tinley and Wood - I like the sound of this. I suspect Weasley stomped off in a downright jealous and unbelievably trivial sulk.

Excellent plotting! Life is such a soap opera. And soap operas have the most murderous plots of all.

Bentobox Carrotmash

Author's Response: Hello Bentobox Carrotmash, I never did doubt your return as you are always omnipresent so it would be impossible to do so!

Tinley says hello back! And she always says she is a crazy cat lady but one who is very proud of being one so you should shut your face (she also says sorry for her rudeness but she loves her cat a lot and cannot help it). You are certainly true that her cat is called Athena, but the orange cat haired Athena is Audrey's own invention and I'm not sure to what extent I support it. She certainly does but sleep is perhaps the most wonderful creation in the entire world so I do not blame him!

Ooh ooh ooh, perhaps he is, perhaps he isn't you shall have to say. But a potential love rival is another question because I am inclined to support this line of argument but I shall not give any hints out in regards to the conclusion.

Yes, it may be a plot indeed but an accidental I should state as this correlation in the names was something I had not yet noticed until you pointed it out, so thank you very much for telling me about it.

Of course not, this is another love rival and they shall have to fight it out in a battle of logic!

Thanks for another fantabulous review! ♥


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Review #22, by Brandyduck Cankersore The Morning After the Night Before

20th December 2014:
Well, hello again. I gave you my word I'd be back, didn't I?

So. Tinley, Tinley, Tinley. Just what have you got yourself into? Well, from the evidence of Tinley's feelings and how 'unanchored' she feels, her sudden unappeasable appetite for grease, also known as the melted and cooked lipids of animals, along with her general sense of being pushed on a child's swing...I have come to the conclusion that she has ingested the sap of a rare and poisonous plant of the genus Intoxicus.

Ah, I adore Jemima and Verity. Jemima more, though, just because I can throw up my window and holler down at Baker Street, "JE-MI-MA, COOOEEE!" Je-mi-ma Je-mi-ma. Has a lovely ring to it. Verity and her sound rather lovely as well, being completely unread in the fine art of sarcasm.

Ah, Penelope Clearwater. That woman is venomous. Tinley should be wary, though I have this nagging suspicion that Tinley can hold her own and that these two will inevitably meet again. Their fates are crossed, you might say. I am rather keen to find out just what Tinley was doing with Percy last night after imbibing one too many.

I find Tinley's living arrangements most interesting. Granny Lucy and her inherent madness reminds me of Mrs Hudson. And her shy retiring dad reminds me...why, Watson himself. I love this little madcap family. These days, families are too normal, too sane, too busy celebrating...Christmas or whatever festive occasion that happens to be passing outside my window right now. Bah, humbug.

Draco is no longer the despicable Death Eater? I still am watching him with narrowed eyes. Perhaps his obliging exterior conceals a dark secret? A murderous intention? A motive? Well, well, Mr Malfoy, mark my words, I'll break you open.

In conclusion: a brilliant chapter. Consider this story my daily nicotine fix. Every chapter is like a nicotine patch to me. It goes without saying that I will be returning soon.

Brandyduck Cankersore

Author's Response: Hey Brandyduck Cankersore, thanks for another fantabulous review!

I know, she really does need to put me effort into avoiding trouble as it would make her life a lot easier and a lot more pleasant too, but alas we cannot all be perfect. Though I do have to say the amount of grease she consumed is giving her even more troubles, though this time health related one.

Thank you so much for expressing warm emotions towards those two as I am a great fan of them too. Oooh, that would be rather fun to see and to listen too, so I do think you should do it as I'm sure Jemima would appreciate it a lot too.

I know, she is the vilest of the vile, almost as bad as Mycroft which is saying something! These two will definitely meet again though not in the star crossed lovers sense but more in the enemies drawn wands!

Most interesting is perhaps a very apt description of them but I expect no less from a great mastermind such as yourself. There little mannerisms and quirks is what makes them all the more interesting I do dare say.

No, definitely not a Death Eater but he is working on the despicable aspects of his character so I would continue to watch him with narrowed eyes.

Thank you again for an awesomesauce review which made my Christmas all the more festive! ♥


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Review #23, by Bend-a-leg Cocklescratch Introductory Measures

19th December 2014:
Seasons greetings, patronus_charm! It is I, your Secret Santa, also known as the greatest detective the world has ever seen, here to unravel a plot or two and I'm willing to wager Mrs Hudson's prized teapot that you'll have the murderer behind bars by the end of the day.

A nice murder or two is the ideal way to wind down for Christmas, I daresay.

Ah, this Audrey Tinley. Female, twenty-four years old, Caucasian, single, Potioneer, is she? Probably eats the periodic table of elements for breakfast, and by this, I mean the chart. Ah, clever. Very clever, patronus_charm. I did not miss the clue at all; it was pretty obvious. I'm referring to the story summary where you surreptitiously snuck in the cryptic phrase, 'Percy/Audrey'. You used italics! Clever. Italics indicate secrecy and trickery, but I am on your trail, of course. So Tinley is going to be the perpetrator of this forbidden romance, which will inevitably end up in a gruesome murder.

I do find your Audrey Tinley...amusing. Her mannerisms, her figures of speech, her musings that occasionally hammer on the fourth wall. I find this Potioneer job of hers utterly mundane, but all jobs apart from mind-palacing and solving murders fall into the category of mundane and soul-destroying, anyway.

This Eileen is suspicious. Who on earth even utters phrases such as, 'We've got to pip pop poppety rock'. Very fishy, indeed. I know a psychopath when I hear one speak, and Eileen is certainly one. Now all we need to do is catch her red-handed.

Verity is a little firebrand, isn't she? Though if I were her, I wouldn't curse the German Minister of International Co-operation and his ancestors back to the eighteenth generation. What a sheer waste of energy. I'd prefer to curse the hapless man's eighteen generations to come. There's a particular curse known as scabious loinpox, which I must recommend to Miss Tinley if I ever do get the chance to fall into the same story as her.

Ah, the party at Weasley Wizard Wheezes. I never understood parties other than them being socially-awkward gatherings of pathetic excuses of human beings hoping to achieve various stages of intoxication in order to muster enough courage to ask someone out. Trivial.

And I approve of Audrey's predisposition for the truth rather than beating about the push with all that niceties and small talk. Small talk is an art? Indeed. Small talk is glorified. Small talk has become the pinnacle of western civilization. And what Audrey did to this Percy Weasley is something I would have done as well. Keep all these tampering cupids away from me and allow me to remain a friendless high-functioning sociopathic canker. With a clear mind.

I must admit, grudgingly, that I did enjoy reading this first chapter of a story full of insignificant people. Who knew that insignificance could be so interesting?

I shall be back!

Bend-a-leg Cocklescratch

Author's Response: Ahahah, thank you so much for all these wonderful presents, Benedrick, they have made my Christmas perfect and I can't thank you enough for them!

Bahaha, you are onto Audrey then and it's quite cunning how much you've already deducted about her so go you! As for her eating the periodic table, that may be a secret guilty pleasure of hers but I have heard it is very nutritious so it's quite a good thing that she does eat it! Hmm, hmm, hmmm, I suppose the grammar I use does play a part in unravelling the mystery...

I'm glad you find Audrey amusing though as she is rather fun to write. I wouldn't go as far as to say her job was mundane because the more you read on, you might find that your view has changed quite a bit.

Omg, you're onto Eileen! You're the only person to have suspected her so far and I do have to say it's probably a very good thing that you do suspect her of something as you shall see later on!

That is quite true, and quite a risk taker too as who knows what this could mean for the German Minister of International Co-operation but we shall have to see later on. Cursing future generations is probably a better idea but I believe the Chinese prefer attacking the former relatives.

Parties are great fun and I think you should try them out more often. The one time I saw you drunk it left me in hysterics, so maybe we should go out partying again together and I could make you like it.

Small talk is glorified, if only Audrey could realise that rather than saying whatever thought is passing through her mind at that moment in time. Yayayay for shouting out Percy Weasley as he certainly does deserve it.

Why thank you very much Bend-a-leg Cocklescratch that means a great deal to me! :D


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Review #24, by BellaLestrange87 Awkwardness Abound

18th September 2014:
Oliver's back? Maybe he's explaining why he stormed out. He certainly didn't when he left.

*laughs at Audrey's explanation about how to lie*

Repeated sentence - "Phew, problem number one solved, I have gotten rid of Draco so I can proceed to deal with number two and three without interruption."

If she's still referring to Oliver as her boyfriend why is she trying to avoid him?

*laughs at her fantasy for what'll happen if she goes to see him*

Oliver doesn't seem to know that water is supposed to be swallowed. Or maybe Audrey should wait until he's swallowed it to pop surprising news on him.

Wow. Oliver really doesn't like Draco. Did he just break up with Audrey?

What could George possibly have done that he would need an alibi for? Wow he's blunt. Considering this is a Percy/Audrey fic maybe his mention of them doing... things is foreshadowing?

CLIFFHANGER. I now need to know what is in that letter.

Good chapter!

Author's Response: Hi again Olivia!

Oliver is back but as for the explanation that will come in a little while.

Haha, Audrey should write some how-to books as she's such a pro at teaching.

Thanks for pointing that out, I'll fix that!

Audrey is very confused emotionally hence the confusion in references so I wouldn't pay too much attention in what she calls others :P

Hahaha, Oliver is a little dim at times so don't worry too much. He really doesn't like him but then you can sort of understand given everything Draco put him and his friends it's naturally he'll have anti-Draco feelings. And no, it's not quite the break up for them yet.

George is up to all sorts of things so it's a matter of waiting and seeing really! Is it foreshadowing or isn't it? Hmmm, wait and see!

Thanks for the review :D


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Review #25, by BellaLestrange87 The Morning After the Night Before

15th September 2014:
This is for the Blue vs. Bronze review battle!

I'm back, and I enjoyed this chapter just as much as I did the first one.

Poor Audrey. Although, considering how many parties she's says she's been to, she should probably know better. Why wouldn't she just Apparate straight home? It would make sense: she'd have avoided Penelope.

Speaking of Penelope, she appears to be a real snob. Surely she was nicer to Percy than she is to Audrey? I can't envision Percy as the type to go for somebody rude and prickly. (Is that the right word?)

The Daily Owl seems to be a more accepted version of the Quibbler. Percy Weasley is the most eligible bachelor in the country? I honestly wasn't expecting that.

"A mother's touch is always needed so you were practically an orphan, dear." That is one honest grandmother. Is that a demonstration of her respect for her son-in-law or was Audrey's dad a bad parent?

Audrey's description of her room made me laugh. A Christmas tree in July? It would make for a great tour.

I have only one bit of CC: Draco does seem slightly OOC, unless he has changed since DH or he has some respect for Audrey (which he appears to, given his agreeing to her comment about Eileen. In that case, you can ignore this paragraph. Pre-DH I don't think he would be asking anybody if they were alright (unless they were a Slytherin, I suppose.)

"Itís a difficult one to make and administer as the ratios of ingredients must be exact otherwise instead of stopping the rate of the heart beat which is what it is intended to do, it will instead stop the heart completely." Isn't stopping the rate of the heart beat the same as stopping the heart?

Overall, this was a great second chapter, and I can't wait to see how Audrey's friends get her and Percy together.


Author's Response: Hi Olivia, thanks for another fab review :D

Yes, she probably should have done so but I guess you can always have one too many drinks and end up in awkward situations like she was in. As for avoiding Penelope, I think Audrey must have been a little too hung-over to think about things like that.

Yes, she is a real snob and a horrible one at that so I can see what you mean about Percy, but those two will be explored more throughout the story, so don't worry.

Haha, Percy is hot stuff how could you not know that? If you live in the UK, I envisaged it to be like The Daily Mail if that helps you at all :P

Yes, she is very honest and blunt and perhaps a lover of the truth a little too much, it's a demonstration of respect as she is a fan of Audrey's dad.

Haha, everyone loves Christmas trees even if it is July! :P

Yes, I know what you mean about Draco and he does calm down in the later chapters I just had a few teething problems with him in the beginning ones, but hopefully it straightens out later on.

Yes, it is and I'll edit it asap, thanks for pointing it out!

Thanks for a great review :D


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