Reading Reviews for Rose-Coloured Glasses
  
18 Reviews Found

Review #1, by adluvshp Real beaches have sand

15th October 2014:
Hello! I'm here with your requested review. I'm incredibly sorry about the longest of waits but RL had me swamped.

I am not a huge fan of next-gen fics, sometimes I feel like there're too many 'plots' that are just overdone, but I really like your story! I think what you've got here is quite interesting and a bit apart from the rest of the Teddy/Vic fan fiction out there so I quite enjoyed this first chapter.

Your writing style is pretty good and your setting for the plot looks cool. I definitely didn't find this boring at all. It made for a fun read. As for characterisation, since this is the first chapter, I can't comment too much on it just yet, but I do like how you've portrayed Teddy here, and Jean too.

The only CC I have to give is perhaps to work on the flow of your narrative by trying to balance the dialogues and description. Instead of having 1 big paragraph describing something, break it down between dialogues. And with dialogues, add some description about the person/surroundings/emotions etc. That will definitely bring more colour to the story.

Apart from that, this made for a great read and I quite enjoyed this. I think you've got a very good story here so do keep writing. Feel free to re-request!

Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

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Review #2, by lindslo2012 Real beaches have sand

7th October 2014:
Well hello,
First of all let me apologize for such a long wait! You posted on my review thread months ago and I only just got to your story because of internet. Well I have internet again and so here it goes! :)

I am starting to like the next-generation fics more and more. I think you have done really well with the next generation area story you have going so far, and I like how you made Jean different than the other girls. It's pretty awesome!
I think that you are a great writer, and I especially like that you added French to the story- because I probably wouldn't have the patience to look all the french up.
I can't wait to read the next chapter so plz come by and re-request! :)

My favorite part was when Teddy saw her naked. And I KNOW he thought she was attractive by the way he said she's 'different', he said it in a good way not a bad way it seemed. Anyway, I can't wait to read more!
-Lindsey

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Review #3, by Sing To The Moon The Bridezilla

10th August 2014:
Vic's a total cow. That's some very nice work on her character; the tension makes me want to dunk her head under the waves and watch her struggle for air (don't judge-you know I can get worked up by irritating character *cough* Momo *cough*):P

Nothing like a bit of mystery and intrigue to reel you in. I want to read more and more to know what's going in the protagonists pretty black-haired head ^-^

Can't wait to know what happens next!! (so tell me ;) or not and leave it a suprise :D

P.s. Loved the animgus bit
P.p.s. You know I'm a (was told to remove bad word) speller so if/when you laugh at my gramatical errors...there's really nothing I can do :)

xox

Roz

Author's Response: Thanks Roz, you'll probs hear the general gist of the next chapters before you read them ;) Glad (and slightly scared) that I made you dislike Vic so much ...

Cheers :D


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Review #4, by maryhead Real beaches have sand

1st August 2014:
AND I'M HERE FOR YOUR REQUESTED REVIEW!!

Sorry sorry sorry for the incredible delay. As I said in my thread, computers can be really nasty when they want to.

Anyway, let's review this chapter!

Alright. I didn't find a single flaw here. Is it even possible? I LOVE this first chapter, maybe because it is so radically different from the other (not many, I have to admit) NexGen fan fictions I read in the past. No Hogwarst, no 1st of September with the beautiful train and whatever... Really Really interesting beginning.

(Did I warn you that I tend to ramble and write "really" a bit too much? Oh, well.)

So, characterization. Jeanette. How brilliant is she?! She's sarcastic, witty, free, independent... I love the way she tries to distinguish herself from the rest of her family, and how she seems to be a bit " self-excluded" from the huge Weasley-Delacour-Potter-Granger community. It's interesting how you hinted here and there that under such a carefree personality may hide a darker past and deep issues (In a sense she reminds me of Sirius...). You managed to describe her entirely and in detail from the first chapter, leaving however that allure of mystery that we all love so much. Oh, and the first person narrator? It is such a difficult device to use, I tell you. But you dealt with it marvelously!

The style is impeccable, elegant and easy to read, but not banal whatsoever. All thanks, as I said, to Jeanette's sharp tongue, wonderfully written descriptions and those touches of French that give color and credibility to the chapter.

The plot seems really interesting. You didn't give out too much, and that's wonderful, because who would read a story in which you find out everything from the first couple of lines? At the same time, however, you made something HAPPEN. There is action, this is not a simple, a bit boring introduction of the story. You feel the need to get on reading, to find out what happens next... Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.

I could go on and on praising this chapter, but I would end up rambling more than I already did. Just keep up with the GREAT job, and if you want me to review the other chapters, do not hesitate to re-request! I can't wait to read more!

Thank you for requesting, and sorry again for the delay!

Maryhead

Author's Response: Hi!!!

No worries about the delay - I know all about it haha. While I'm on the subject - I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to reply to this review, as it's so so so wonderful!!!

I'm so thrilled that you love Jean! Not very many people are taken with her so far, I can tell you. It's been quite the love-her-or-hate-her experience :P As to reminding you of Sirius ... I never thought of that before ... But you're right haha.

Thanks for saying that I pull the first-person narrator off - I don't usually do first-person, so I'm always worried about it :S And I'm so flattered you like my writing stlye, thank you so so much :'D

I'll let you know when the next chapter's ready to be reviewed!!! Thanks again for an awesome review :D

Cheers,
Jo


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Review #5, by simplelullaby Real beaches have sand

23rd July 2014:
Technical:

Sentences seem a bit choppy. Short sentences are great for sometimes, but be careful not to overuse them - they loose their va-va-voom, shall we say *wink wink*

The use of Jeanette Delacour-Weasley is great once, but further uses so soon after she's been introduced seem a little unnecessary.

I'm not sure if you're aware, but JK has stated that the werewolf gene isn't carried hereditarily. So there would be no werewolf part of Bill's kids. That said, it works well as an inter-family private joke of sorts still!


Characterisation:

Jeanette has a clear-cut character from the very first paragraph. Just by adding the "Delacour" to her name she's become a very different person from her canon sisters and brother. It's great! She seems to me from the get-go as the no-nonsense drifter sister, who's always been sure of exactly who she is, and is able to cut through all the bull.

Similarly Dominique and Victoire are also shaping up quite nicely. They get little mentions peppered throughout the beginning so there's enough to know that they are very real characters in Jeanette's life, but we're not overloaded so that it seems to be like a list to get out of the way before the story begins - a trap many writers fall into in their hurry of getting to the meaty part of their fic.

Dominique and Victoire get more real in the first dialogue of the chapter. With just dialogue you manage to characterise Victoire very well over the "tablecloth debacle," and Dominique and Jeanette in their reactions to it. Also, the conversation is so easy between both Jeanette and Dominique in a way that only family can be after two years.

Ah Louis finally gets a mention. I'm sure you said you're new to next-gen, writing at least? Louis does tend to get pushed out of the way as next-gen writing goes. The image of poor Louis hiding out in whatever place he could while his sisters plan this wedding is pretty amusing though!

Some reminiscing from Jeanette certainly helps to characterise her. I like her little memory of "uncle Harry" especially.

Very funny introduction to Teddy! I loved the awkward back-and-forth, the fact that Jeanette was so very unfazed, and Teddy the complete opposite. Jeanette's inner-dialogue is pretty funny too. Teddy being flirty with her right from the get-go seems a little too far-fetched to me though.

While lists don't usually work that well, here you manage to pull it off like the inner-monologue of someone who hasn't seen anyone for years, sweeping the room with her eyes, remembering stray facts about various family members. My personal favourite was the quip about "Aunt Audrey." I already love Jeanette.


Plot:

I can see the plot shaping up nicely here, so far there arenít any "boring" parts, as you put it, actually much the opposite. Your description, if I had to pinpoint it to one attribute, is something which keeps me hooked. Having Dominique laugh a certain way makes her a little more three-dimensional than she did before. Little asides such as "especially is your sister is Victoire Weasley" are so brilliant as well!

Ooh it's getting a little bit serious. Jeanette's hiding a secret it seems, the real reason she's stayed away for so long. Lacing your introduction with tasty bits like this is sure to get many a reader hooked.

The Jeanette-Teddy thing does seem to move a bit fast for my liking, it interrupts the flow of a nice introduction. Maybe lay it on a little thinner, the inner-monologue from Jeanette staying the same, but maybe Teddy being a little more reserved. He is about to marry Victoire after all... It justs seems to move a little too fast for my liking. After all, we've just got to know little Jean, and already she's gallivanting after her sister's fiance? Doesn't really endear her to readers.


Setting:

Setting, it seems, is something many fic readers overlook, but you certainly haven't. With two sentences you've made Shell Cottage a real place. I could almost smell the sea reading it! Jeanette's little excursion to the beach is well-written in terms of setting as well.


Overall:

I liked your French glossary and your Maugis fact at the beginning, shows that you have really thought about your story even before going into it.

I also love that you've chosen to have the girls be very French as well as English. We all remember Fleur from the books, and I don't think a woman like that would have every fully integrated into the English life, and would have taught her children everything about France. Little descriptions you put in, Jeanette kissing Dominique on both cheeks, Dominique swearing in French instead of English, help to characterise their mother even before she's been introduced. It's great!

There you are, I hope you liked it, feel free to re-request when you have another chapter up, this story is brilliant!

Keep writing

~simplelullaby~

(7/10)

Author's Response: Hi! :D

First off - this review is FANTASTIC! So long!!!

Thanks for the tip about the short sentences! I'll keep that in mind. I'm usually a third-person omniscient writer, so I'm a little uneasy with sentence length and structure with first-person, especially from the perspective of an acerbic character like Jean. As to the un-hereditary werewolf thing - it gets explained next chapter ;)

I'm glad you like the way the characters are introduced - and I'm SO GLAD that you like Jean!! Not many people do so far hehe ... And Louis is going to be a main character, never fear. I've loved writing him into an almost entirely female household :P

As to Jean and Teddy's exchange, I'm glad you liked that too!!! (I love you.) Not many people have been impressed with the two of them in that scene. The flirting might seem far-fetched, but their two personalities are so alike in flirtiness and sexuality etc. (as will hopefully become more apparent in the following chapters) that I thought it only natural that when put together (and one interlocuter naked, for that matter) the two of them would get a little ... playful. And if people think less of Jean for it, well - I'm not exactly trying to "endear" her to my readers. Hell, she annoys ME sometimes haha. It's all part of her character, and there is a method to my overtly-flirtingly-written madness.

Lastly, I'm happy you like the French :D France is an inherent aspect of Jean's character, and it's been so fun incorporating it into the story.

This review was wonderful, thank you so much. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to reply!! I'll definitely be re-requesting for next chapter!! ;)

Cheers,
Jo


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Review #6, by mymischiefmanaged Real beaches have sand

22nd July 2014:
Hiya, mymischiefmanaged here from the forums with your requested review. I was pretty excited to receive your request. Your story sounded like such an interesting concept and I love nextgen. It's a really original idea and this is a great opening chapter.

You've characterised Jean really well, giving her a clear voice and setting up her story just enough to make her interesting. I don't particularly like her right now but I get the feeling we're going to get an explanation for why she is the way she is later in the story. I usually like characters to have a few redeeming features and right now I don't really see it in her, but that's maybe what you were trying to do.

Seriously disappointed in Teddy's flirting but you've written him well and it's completely believable given your Victoire.

Absolutely love Dom so far. I'm surprised her and Jean didn't stay in touch, even if Jean didn't want to talk to the rest of the family.

Overall this is really good. I enjoyed it a lot. I hope Jean develops as a character and learns to care a bit more about people. Looking forward to your next update. E x

Author's Response: Hey there!

I'm glad this story interested you! And Jean annoys me too sometimes - and I made her :S As the story progresses her character and history unravels and (hopefully!) she will be redeemed in the eyes of the people who don't like her so far. Don't get me started on Teddy. If you're disappointed in him now, then you will NOT like him down the track ;) And as to Dom - she is the one I wasn't really expecting feedback on, but so far quite a few people have said they really like her. And again, as the story unfolds, we discover why Jean didn't even stay in touch with grumpy old Dom.

Thanks so much for this review :D I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to reply, though!

Cheers,
Jo


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Review #7, by AdinaPuff Real beaches have sand

21st July 2014:
Hi Jo, here for your requested review!

This is definitely an original as far as fanfiction goes. I've never read of anything where there's a fourth child in the Delacour-Weasleys. I was a bit confused as to why Jean wasn't as important as the others, which is what you implied. Am I just getting the wrong signs, or is this what you intended

Characterization: Your characterization was wonderful, though. You made Jean extremely unique to herself, from her comments robber thoughts. She seemed to be a very independent person who really just likes to dance to her own tune, rather than the one everyone around her is dancing to. Victoire was on point, being a bridezilla. I liked Dominique in this fashion, very stern and serious, according to Jean. Not smiling too much. You often read her being quite insane, dramatic, and humorous, so you made Dom unique to herself as well. Even the comments about fleur were really on point, with her having a fit when Jean died her hair black and all. So you did very good building your characters.

Plot: You were concerned about the plot building. For a first chapter, i would say you built it fairly well. It seems like this story is going to be a Jean/Teddy/Victoire? And that Victoire's wedding is going to play a large role in the story as well.

You didn't bore me a bit! Jean seems like a very interesting character that keeps you wondering, keeps you guessing. So I was intrigued the entire way through.

I only have one little con: why didn't Teddy know who Jean was, if the rest of the family did? Teddy is, after all, a large part of the family, being Harry's godchild. So it threw me a bit that he didn't know who Jean was when he saw her.

That's all! What a great start! I loved it so much. Thanks for dropping by, feel free to ask again for chapter two!

-Leigh

Author's Response: Hey Leigh!! :D

Jean most certainly isn't on the same level as the other Weasley-Delacour siblings, so you're not getting the wrong idea there, you're spot on! As the story progresses, we'll discover more of her heritage and where she fits in with the rest of the family (or decidedly DOESN'T, hehe).

As to Teddy and Jean not really knowing each other, well Jean's only just nineteen, and as is mentioned she's spent the last four-five years in France with no contact with anyone back in England. Teddy is considerably older than her, being roughly of an age with Victoire and of conventional marrying age, and he hung out with all the "big kid" relatives and the Potter side of the family, so he wasn't exactly in the same circle as her. And also it's mentioned that Jean's quite the social recluse when it comes to family gatherings and consequently most of the family doesn't know who she is - plus the last time anyone saw her she had pale skin and pale hair, but now she's all swarthy. Plus no one knew she was arriving today, so that's another element of surprise. I think they're all the reasons, phew!!

I'm glad you like the characterisation, and especially that you like Dominique, because you're right - I've never read a fic with Dom wherein she isn't an insane drama queen haha.

As to the Jean/Teddy/Victoire plot ... well you'll just have to wait and see >:P

I'm really glad you think Jean's interesting, too - a lot of people don't really like her so far (and I have to admit, she annoys me too, sometimes :P)

This review was great, thank you so much!! I'm glad you loved it!! I'll defs be re-requesting for another next chapter ;)

Cheers,
Jo
xo


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Review #8, by MadiMalfoy Real beaches have sand

21st July 2014:
Hi! MadiMalfoy here with your requested review! :)

Well, isn't this just intriguing? :D I love your addition to the Fleur/Bill clan, Jeanette! She's a great new dynamic piece on the playing field inside of all of the canon stuff, so great job! Wonderful characterization of Victoire and Dominique too, I really enjoyed their characters!

Oh Teddy Lupin, you little scamp! Obviously he's marrying Victoire, but he doesn't mind a little peek at her half-Veela sister, does he? Such a naughty boy! I think you have a great relationship developing so far already with him and Jean, considering he did see her naked for a solid five minutes. The fact she just goes swimming naked all the time makes me laugh because that's such a no-no if you're not in France!

Really, I think you've got a great story lined up just with this opening chapter! Will Teddy continue talking to Jean more than he should? Will Victoire find out what happened at the beach? WILL THE WEDDING STILL BE ON?? In essence, you've hooked me, now reel me in! You're welcome to re-request anytime. :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hi there!!

Aaaahhh, you're so kind! Thank you for this lovely review :3 I'm so glad you like Jean and Teddy and that you're intrigued with their relationship potential :P I had heaps of fun writing the naked scene, and I'm glad you see it in a humourous light, because a lot of people haven't hahaha.

Thanks again for this review, it totally made me smile :D I will certainly be re-requesting another for the next chapter :P

Cheers,
Jo xo


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Review #9, by diamondmoon Real beaches have sand

20th July 2014:
Hello! First, I'm going to say that I liked this a lot. I think you've made a very unique character with an interesting background. Jeanette is interesting, but I'm not sure if I like her very much. She kind of annoys me, but that's just pure opinion. One thing I'm going to say is that you explained a lot in the first chapter that could have been added into dialogue. And by that, I mean you were telling it to us instead of the characters. And that's fine, but you might want to minimize that.

Another thing I noticed is a very common thing to have in a romance story. I see that this is a Teddy/OC story, but being the first chapter, it's better to make it a little more subtle, maybe Jeanette doesn't think Teddy is as big of a deal at first. She reminds herself about him and Victoire a lot and has a lot of flirty thoughts which makes things a little obvious.

Other than that, everything flowed very well and I'm interested in what this story is going to be like because you didn't give a whole lot away other than her and Teddy. And that's really good, because it makes readers really curious about the plot.

When you upload the next chapter, make sure you re-request if you'd like!

7/10

Author's Response: Hi :D

Yeah, Jean annoys me too sometimes, and it's been fascinating writing from the perspective of a somewhat displeasing character. But hopefully as the story progresses and you learn more interesting things about her past, you're potential dislike will turn into something warmer (fingers crossed!!).

Thanks for mentioning about not putting a lot of information into dialogue - I'll keep that in mind. But remember this is written in first person from Jean's POV, so anything that's not written into dialogue is her narrating, not an omnipotent narrator (me :P).

As for Jean and Teddy's romantic prospects being too obvious - I did that on purpose. As the story goes on, you'll see why, never fear ;)

This was a great review that brought some things to my attention tha I hadn't given a lot of weight before, so thank you so much!! I will definitely re-request for the next chapter!!!

Cheers,
Jo :)


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Review #10, by CassiePotter Real beaches have sand

17th July 2014:
Hi Jo!
I thought this was a really interesting opening chapter! I actually really like Jean so far. She's snarky and sarcastic and does her own thing, and I think throwing her back in with her relatives is going to make things really hectic and crazy for everyone! (Especially with Vic and Teddy's wedding coming up!) I really liked Dom, too. Even though Jean hasn't seen her in a while and Dom seemed upset with her at first, she did help her sneak her stuff in and make sure they could set up a surprise party for her. I want to see more of those two together, because they have a really interesting dynamic!
That scene with Teddy on the beach was really unexpected! I have a feeling things are going to get really awkward between those two with Jean thinking about Teddy so much before his wedding to her sister. Haha.
I really enjoyed this! You have a nice, strong opening and set up you characters really well! 9/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hey Cassie!

Aahhh you're so sweet :'D Thank you so much for the kind review!! I'm glad you like the character dynamics. I have a lot of un writing Jean, I'm glad ou like her, and we'll be seeing a fair share of chaos with her thrown into the mix ;)

Thank you so much for taking the time to review this! I hope you stay tuned :)

Cheers,
Jo


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Review #11, by Mice Real beaches have sand

14th July 2014:
I think it's well written and I really love you for posting the meaning of the french words at the beginning instead of the bottom that way you don't get pulled out of the story,I also like Jeanette's personality but the thing about her and Teddy being so "open minded" kind of disappoints me, I mean not that I'm against them getting together but there should be a little more development to their relationship and I would like actual reluctance on their part, I mean Victoire has to have strong feelings for them and viceversa, no?...anyway the story is yours that's just my point of view and so far you've done really good job.

Author's Response: Hi and thanks so much for taking the time to review!! :)

I'm glad you approve of the glossary and think this is well-written, cheers.

And never fear, regarding Jean and Teddy's "open-minded"ness, there is a little more to Jean than meets the eye ;) And as the story progresses so does their acquaintance develop into something more three-dimensional, and we get to see both of their relationships with Victoire.

Thanks again for the review!! I hope you stay tuned :D

Cheers,
Jo


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Review #12, by TidalDragon Real beaches have sand

14th July 2014:
Howdy! Dropping by in response to your review request!

So a few things jumped out at me right off the bat. First, you've created a new character. Kudos for taking on that challenge, especially making them your MC. Thus far Jean seems to be quite the selfish rebel, though it's clear from a few moments that she's got some stuff going on in her past and that she's more fragile in reality than she first appears.

The other thing that stuck out most of all was the repetitive use of some of the italicized language you gave translations for at the top. Using another language is very believable if for whatever reason Jean identifies much more strongly with France (and attended Beauxbatons), but overusing it can create a distraction, and the illusion that you aren't as strong with word choice.

As far as where the plot seems to be headed...it will come as no surprise that it's not my cup of tea. Obviously infidelity is a part of life. I won't bury my head in the sand about it. But I'm hopeful that if you're going to address it, it won't all be excitement and allure. My main complaint about infidelity in writing, film, etc. (and especially in fic) is that it is glorified and/or used too casually. Here, for example, I'm not sure what Jean's deal is exactly yet, but I'm very surprised to see sexual thoughts about her sister's fiance entering her mind almost immediately. The plot and character certainly aren't boring or out-of-touch for Next Gen, but I'd just be careful going forward to give everything more than one dimension, infidelity included.

Hope the review was helpful!

Author's Response: Heya :D

First off, thank you very much for taking the time to read this and leave a review, as I know it isn't really your thing. It would have been simple enough for you to just say "sorry, I won't review this", so thank you for your kindness :) I really appreciate feedback from someone with a different stance on the themes of the story as most others. So thank you thank you thank you!! :)

I think, as someone who doesn't like infidelity, you'd be a little intrigued to know where I'm going with this Jean/Teddy thing. Obviously both of them aren't squeaky clean in the relationship department, but there is a big reason behind Jean's polygamy-bravado (as you mentioned, she has stuff going on in her past and is in actual fact quite fragile). As the story goes on, we understand what Jean's deal is, and why she's so guy-crazy, be they married or no. Never fear, any infidelity on Jean's part will NOT be pure excitement and allure :) Teddy is a different matter, however - he really is only in it for the excitement and allure (I'm sorry!!) because facing facts as you said, it does happen in real life.

I totally agree with you about fiction's ridiculous glorifying of infidelity, making it into something shallow where it could have been meaningful, and I'm very conscious of that while I'm writing this story, don't worry. Jean herself believes she's only in it for the excitement, but hopefully the subtext will tell the readers a different story as the story progresses. So I suppose this story does have that glorified infidelity facade, and if it's not your thing, it's not your thing. But I promise you it does go deeper :)

About the French titbits, as is mentioned in the story, Jean's spent about 5 years in France, and yes identifies very strongly with her French roots, so I thought it only believable that there are French bits and pieces in the text. I actually created a thread in the forums a while back, asking everyone what they thought of a glossary and foreign titbits in a story, whether it's distracting or not!! I'm doing the French bits all in moderation, and hopefully it doesn't distract too much. Thank you for bringing that up - no one else has, so far.

Once again, thank you VERY VERY much for this review. I cannot stress strongly enough how much it means to have feedback from someone who doesn't really like the story from the get-go. Most people just wouldn't bother reviewing it. So thanks :)

Cheers,
Jo


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Review #13, by lexiatel Real beaches have sand

14th July 2014:
Hello, you posted at my review topic, so here I am :)

This was an amazing start to what is going to be an amazing story! I LOVE the OC, I LOVE Teddy! Teddy is just going to be sooo loveable! hehehe

Btw, when she lay on that beach I just KNEW she was going to get caught. I can't believe she acted the way she did. I am an American, so that would have TOTALLY sent me running, lol.

And then the way she thought of his... body... ahaha!

Thanks for letting me read, come back again when you have a new chapter :)

Author's Response: Hi :)

Yayy!!! I'm glad you like Jean and Teddy! I'm always preparing to duck for cover when reading reviews for this, scared that everyone'll be like "eeewww, nudity and infidelity!" So THANK YOU :D!!!

Yeah, Jean isn't shy about showing her body, and it's been a long time since she's been home so she doesn't know who'd come onto the beach ;)

Thank you again for the lovely amazing review, and I will most definitely be re-requesting for another one when my next chapter is up!

Cheers,
Jo


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Review #14, by marauderslover15 Real beaches have sand

13th July 2014:
HELLO!

Dez aka marauderslover15 with your requested review! =D

First off, I love how you incorporate the French culture into your character. I think most people forget that the Bill's Weasley children that they are British AND French. I like Jeanette, she is much different than her sisters. You single her out and made her the main character (obviously). But because her personality traits being so different from her sisters, she is standing out.

So, I think because of you, I think I realized I do like a little bit of mystery because I am too curious to know why she left, why she thinks they are better off without her and whatís with the ash & blood.

AND CHEATING? I am curious if Teddy will cheat or Jeanette will do that to her sister! Oh, this is already heart-breaking to me. MY HEART IS TWISTING.

I beg of you please re-request a review. I usually donít follow WIP b/c Iím also afraid if it takes YEARS to finish (I donít have time to wait on a story like that). SO, please let me know when the next chappie is up.

REALLY GREAT STORY!

Author's Response: Aahhh!!! Thank you Dez for the awesome review!! :')

I loved incorporating all the French bits, it's so much fun to compare different cultures through the eyes of a sincerely sardonic character ;)

I'm glad you like the mystery of this story so far and aren't totally turned off by the infidelity!!! I'm planning something very bombshell-ish for Jean and Teddy ;)

Don't worry, I've already written like 12 chapters of this story and I'm just editing and re-editing them before posting them, so the gaps between updating chapters (SHOULD) be quite constant (I hope I didn't just jinx it by saying that ...)

I will most definitely re-request and let you know when another chapter is up :D

Thanks again for the awesome review!!

Cheers,
Jo


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Review #15, by Gabriella Hunter Real beaches have sand

12th July 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review, its nice to meet you!

I've written quite a few Next Gen stories (Well, three? Four?) and I'm no expert on how they should be written or what qualifies as a good one because there are so many. Now, the thing about these sort of stories is that they're all so different but a lot of them have the same sort of similar make up, your story has a unique feel to it by introducing Jean as another sibling. She isn't like the others, for example and I'd actually like to know more about her and the family. Why is she so anti-social? If her parents never really paid much attention to her, I think you could broaden that issue out somewhat so I could really get in her head. That was the only thing that bothered me, you have plenty of time to develop other things and her past has me interested! What happened? You could have given me a bit more hints on that to show that it was a lingering issue but you have plenty of other chapters to get that started! :D

Jean as a character seems pretty sassy and I like that about her but I hope you show a bit more range with her emotions. Just a tad more detail about her and I'll be in love, I thought the scene with Teddy was hilarious as well. How awkward...

I'm waiting to see how the rest of the family dynamics will be and I'm curious to see how you'll write BIll and Fleur. So far, your first chapter is so different from the way I've written my Next Gen's and I'm really excited what else you'll end up doing!

Aside from those issues that I pointed out, I enjoyed this! I hope you update soon and let me know!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie, lovely to meet you and thanks heaps for this review!!! :D

Now, to respond to the issues you brought up (yay!!) >:D ...

Because this is only the first chapter, it's only an introduction to all Jean's issues (the dark past, the sociopathism, etc.) so never fear, we find out gradually why Jean is so antisocial, and I am definitely expanding on her personality and mindset in the later chapters!! I'm trying to make her a little enigmatic, so we gradually find out more and more about her as the story goes on, as opposed to just stating everything in an introduction. Again, you will discover the reason for this as we get further along in the story ;)

I'm glad you liked the scene with Teddy, as I'm really scared most people will read it and go 'ew' because of the whole being unfaithful thing :/

I'll definitely be letting you know when the next chapter is up and begging for another great review!! Thanks again :D

Cheers,
Jo


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Review #16, by Iellwen Real beaches have sand

12th July 2014:
In the name of the House Cup 2014, I review thy story! :D
(Go Slytherin! Hehe^^)

Since she was in Perpignan until now, in the warm and sunny South of France, no wonder poor Jeanette got used to the
warm ocean ^^
Quick question about your OC, though: did you purposely give her a boyish nickname? (Because Jean is a boy's name ;) ) Not that's it in any way bad or anything, I'm just curious ^^

Wow, that was a cold reaction from Dominique; you don't see your sister for two years, she shows up on the doorstep because of the wedding and okay, you have a right to be a little angry and ask where she hid this whole time... But man, Dom is a grumpy gal.

I really love that you used Maugis as a Merlin equivalent :D You just set me back 15 years, when I was still a kid and we talked about Charlemagne at school xD
Anyway, really nice touch ^^

I wonder why did Jeanette go to France in the first place beyond her mother's roots? Also, are you placing Beauxb‚tons in the south of France, near Perpignan? :)


Ooh, Teddy feels a bit disgusting as a man... Especially considering he's to get married and can't even tell his future sister-in-law that he's looking forward to it. I mean, even if you get cold feet, LIE! Except if he's trying to impress Jeanette somehow, to let her know he's not entirely bound to another just yet.
Which is disgusting behaviour so, yeah, beurk is really appropriate xD

But well, you know when you want to sunbathe naked on a non-nudist beach, no matter the country, you're bound to be stared at. ^^
About staring, I wonder if Jeanette seriously thinks there is nothing hotter than an unfaithful husband? o_0

Considering Fleur is a quarter Veela and Charlie isn't a full-fledged Werewolf, I was surprised by the importance you place on the Veela and Werewolf blood, as it influences their looks and Victoire's temper. :D

This was a really interesting and original first chapter! I'd definitely be interested in reading more about Jeanette, find out what she did in France during those two years and if the wedding is going to go as planned or if some mad, chaotic disaster is going to ruin it ^^ Teddy seems to be unable to focus on his fiancee (ack, no accents allowed ^^') and shows really unwanted attention towards Jeanette, so I'm expecting chaos ;)

Feel free to notify me when the next chapter is up, in case I miss it ;)

*Gee

Author's Response: Ahahaha hello - you Slytherins are a tenacious bunch ;)

About Jeanette's nickname - I grew up with a nan named Jean, and so I'm pretty accustomed to it being more feminine, though I know it's a masculine name. My Jeanette is the kind of ungirlish girl, so having a masculine nickname really suits her personality, I reckon - but we'll get to know her better further on down the track to discover it more ;)

Dom is a really grumpy girl, but she is happy to see Jean beneath it all - as we'll discover further on too.

Jean's a pretty enigmatic character, I reckon, and the reasons for her moving to France come together bit by bit as we get further on in the story!! And I haven't made Beauxbatons in Perpignan, we'll understand the significance of southern France as the story progresses ;)

Teddy is a bit of a slimebag, and Jean's not squeaky-clean either, so I totally get why you're repelled with all the unfaithfulness - be warned, it's a factor prevalent throughout this story, though it isn't my foremost theme, don't worry :D

I will most definitely be notifying you when the next chapter is up, and thank you so so so much for this review, it was awesome!!! :') Good luck in the Cup!

Cheers,
Jo


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Review #17, by crestwood Real beaches have sand

12th July 2014:
Hey, crestwood from the forums here for your requested review!

This story is really, really good for your first Next-Gen story in my opinion! This is only the first chapter, but I do enjoy the internal voice of Jean so far. I find it interesting how she regards her family. I'm sure she has a good reason for her disinterest in their affairs. The French was a good touch. Many people seem to avoid writing Bill and Fleur's children as even slightly in touch with their roots. The characterization was well done in my opinion, especially during Jean's conversation with Teddy on the beach. This chapter definitely kept my attention, largely because Jean's thought were simply so much fun. Thank you for your request and feel free to re-request when you've uploaded more because I'd love to see where the plot is going :)

Author's Response: Hi!! Thank you so much!! I'm glad you think this is a good next-gen story!! I really enjoyed incorporating the French, and there is definitely a reason for Jean's sociopathism, which you will find out when I re-request another AWESOME review from you ;)

Thanks again for the kind review!

Cheers,
Jo


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Review #18, by pomplemoose21 Real beaches have sand

10th July 2014:
Hi there!

I saw your comment on the forums about needing some love for this so here I am with bundles of it :)

I actually really like Jean, it's interesting to see how you characterize her in comparison to the rest of her family - she's so very different but certain similarities are starting to break through.

Now for Teddy - what a rogue! I'm intrigued to see where you go with this one, as I've always imagined Teddy to be a bit like this (kind of a young Sirius more so than Lupin) and I can't wait to read more about him!

Also I love the French twist you've included, and thank you for adding the glossary at the beginning else I'd be completely lost!

Looking forward to reading more from you :)

-PM21

Author's Response: :D ! My first review for this story!! I love you so much right now!!! Thank you for the kind review!

I'm glad you like Jean, because I was pretty sure some people'd end up hating her if not right away then soon. Glad you like Teddy too, we'll be seeing more of him ;)

Thanks again for the review!

Cheerio!
Jo


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