4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Secret Santa Christmas Past- Age 5

18th December 2013:
Hello!
This story is absolutely adorable! I love the Christmas theme and this honestly feels just like Harry's fifth Christmas would have happened. Harry totally would have gotten coal... darn Dursleys... I also think the way you wrote Harry's thoughts and actions were just how Harry would have thought and acted :) I almost teared up when reading the Christmas morning scene. He had so much false hope.. it was truly heart-breaking. Awesome job!
There were a few grammatical errors but they weren't very distracting.
I really hope you keep updating this story! I love where it's going!
-Secret Santa

Author's Response: Aww I'm so glad that you liked it. I will update this story at least 2 more times when I get the chance too. I'm glad you think that I wrote Harry's thoughts and actions like how he would've thought and acted. Thanks so much for the sweet review.

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Review #2, by patronus_charm Christmas Past- Age 5

1st December 2013:
Hi, Iím here with your challenge review! Iím really excited about the premise of this story because it really is an interesting one and it will be great to see how Harry transforms through the years. :)

This story really did break my heart Ė no joke! Poor old (or young :P) Harry, I could really feel his heart break when Vernon gave him that piece of coal. It was such a horrible and mean trick to play on a boy of such a young age and then the way Harry didnít fully understand the meaning of the coal straight away made it even worse.

Then the way Dudley kept on getting presents and Harry just had to sit there watch him open them. It was just, gah, horrible and then he was sent away. Poor, poor Harry, only four years ago he must have had a nice Christmas and then he gets this.

I thought your characterisation of Harry was really great. He had that wonderful inquisitive mind at the beginning of the chapter with him analysing all the presents and it was rather like him going to Diagon Alley for the first time. Then the horrible feeling of disappointment is one unfortunately well known to Harry and the way you wrote was really great as it was just like before.

Vernon and Dudley were both perfect too! My only justification for Dudley being mean (my head canon is that he and Harry end up being friends :P) is that heís too young to really understand what he saying with the jibes about how Harry might steal his presents. Vernon, though, has no excuse and he was simply as vile as ever.

There were a few minor typos such as here ĎSanta Clause Ď but one more read over this should eliminate them. :)

This was such a great one-shot and really got to my heart! I look forward to reading more of this :)

-Kiana

Author's Response: Aww I'm glad you liked it and thought i did a great job characterizing Harry. For some reason I can never really right Harry and I was really scared that I wouldn't get it right. Hopefully I'll have the next chapter up soon I'm just trying to decide on an age from 11-17 for the present part of the story. I'll definitely give it another read through.

Glad you liked the chapter.
-Crystal


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Review #3, by milominderbinder Christmas Past- Age 5

1st December 2013:
Hiya! Here from review tag.

Okay, first of all, I LOVE CHRISTMAS SO MUCH, which is what drew me to this story on your author page haha.

That said, this story actually broke my heart a little. It's so sad to think of little Harry not getting any presents! I think a lot of the time fics kind of skim over how truly horrible the Dursleys were to Harry, and just because he later found his home at Hogwarts, doesn't mean it wasn't totally horrible for him growing up with them.

I can definitely see this happening on a Christmas when he was young, which is heartbreaking! You've really found the voices of all the Dursleys well and totally predicted how I think they would act, so well done there.

I also liked the last line:

Harry just couldn't understand Christmas.

I think that's perfect because it shows Harry's confusion over the whole thing. He still has this childhood innocence where he doesn't understand WHY the Dursleys are this mean to him, and thinks there must be a reason. He thinks this is how Christmasses must be supposed to go because it's all he knows, but still is confused because it doesn't seem right. That's a great way to portray a young child in this situation, and also really heartbreaking!

Overall I really liked this, well done :D

~Maia

Author's Response: aww what a sweet review. I'm so glad you liked it.

I feel for little Harry so much. To be that young and have to go what he went through it just breaks my heart.

It was actually very hard for me to write this story because I've never been what Harry has gone through in his childhood but I wanted to make it as canon as possible and we all know from the books that Harry wasn't treated well by the Dursley's and from his shock on Christmas never received presents before.

I'm so glad you think I did a good job. Thanks again for the review
-Crystal


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Review #4, by Rumpelstiltskin Christmas Past- Age 5

1st December 2013:
I am her from review tag :)!

So this is a very interesting idea for a story!

I loved the fact that, at the age of five, Harry questions the concept of Santa! That's very cute.

Oh, poor Harry...Vernon said that he wasn't getting any presents? That makes sense considering Harry seemed to be severely unloved by the Dursleys. I feel really bad for him, being told that he was naughty and all.

And then little Harry was so endearing as he sat in the corner watching Dudley open all of is presents. All poor Harry got was coal and sent to the cupboard! That's a very sad Christmas!

I have one little CC for you. :) I would separate the dialogue of each person into its own little paragraph. It's not a big deal, it just helps with flow. Staff actually has a really great tutorial, the "Formatting Stories Tutorial" that covers this :).

But I really did like this. I'm going to add it to my Currently Reading so that I can catch an update!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Yayy I'm glad you liked it.

I know poor Harry all he wanted was just a little bit of Christmas gifts and all he got was coal :(

Thanks for the suggestion I'll probably go and edit it when I get the chance and I'll definitely check out the tutorial.

Hopefully I'll have the next chapter done within the next couple of days so I can get started on the third chapter which I already know how I want it to go.


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