Reading Reviews for Smoke In Your Lungs
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by EnigmaticEyes16 Smoke In Your Lungs

11th July 2014:
Hi! This is a HOUSE CUP 2014 REVIEW!

I though this was a nice little Jerimiah/Hugo one-shot. I really enjoyed it, even though with the backtracking in time and then at the end going forward again, I had a little trouble figuring out where we were in the timeline. I wish you'd update more on Bite Club and maybe that would help clear up some things.

That's really sad though, now that I know that Jerimiah and Hugo were together when Hugo was still human. And that Hugo had Rose remove his memory of it. And I love that the spell didn't work on Jerimiah and he still remembers they were together. Eventually Hugo is going to figure out what his feelings mean and they may have a chance to be together again.

I noticed in this story Jerimiah's eyes are brown? Weren't they cream in the flashback in Bite Club? And now they've turned brown? I know I already asked similar questions in your other story but I'm really curious as to how to the whole eye color changing thing works for vampires and age.

Anyway, I thought this was really well written. It was the second 2nd Person POV story I've read today, and even though I'm not a big fan of that particular POV, I still really liked your story.

I wonder if there will be more Jerimiah/Hugo in the future...?


 Report Review

Review #2, by milominderbinder Smoke In Your Lungs

23rd December 2013:
Hiya! First of all, thanks for requesting a review in my thread!

Okay, so I have a feeling this would make a lil more sense if I had read Bite Club. The whole vampire thing kinda crept up on me here! And I'm sure that it would make a little more sense if I knew what happened with Alexa and the baby. That said - I honestly loved this, and I think Bite Club just made it onto my reading list if only to give this lovely story some more context.

Your writing is just gorgeous. You give this story a lot of subtlety and nuance, so that every sentence read has different layers, making the reading experience really rich and interesting.

I think second person POV worked perfectly for this story, and you wrote it well, so you have nothing to worry about in that department! Its use really adds a level of personal connection to the story for the reader - which, with some relatively unrelatable topics like vampires, or Hugo's bad boy attitude, is really effective in building empathy and making Hugo an interesting and more relatable character, as you're really in his shoes.

I think you wrote the romance perfectly. It wasn't a cliche, fluffy romance, but a complex and deep connection between two characters. It's also highly refreshing to read a character with a more nuanced sexuality than merely gay or straight. Occasionally in fic I stumble across a bi girl, but with a boy it's incredibly rare and always an interesting read.

Also, as a John Green groupie, I squealed when I saw the Alaska reference!

Overall I really loved this - well done! Looking forward to finding out what Bite Club's all about now!


Author's Response: Hi Maia! Thanks so much for reviewing and I'm really sorry I haven't answered this review until now! I'll be more prompt in the future!

Alexis had the baby in the end, a boy called Sammy, and she and Hugo stayed together after he wiped his memory to forget about Jeremiah. I don't know if this would make a huge amount of sense because Bite Club only has a prologue and three chapters at the moment, but when there are more chapters up it definitely will (at least I hope). I'm really pleased that this made you want to go and read Bite Club though!

Thank you so much, I'm so happy that you liked it! I wanted to challenge myself by writing in reverse chronology -- effectively, breaking down the tale of their break up -- and it's great that you consider it rich and interesting!

This story was actually my first attempt at second person POV, so it's a delight to hear that it's successful! I understand what you mean about the personal connection -- I've never smoked or dated a vampire but I still had a connection with Hugo's feelings while writing this and it's fantastic to hear that the reader could experience that too.

Thank you so much! In addition to being my first second person POV, this was also my first romance where I wrote the couple actually being together and enjoying coupley things. I'm firmly convinced that sexuality shouldn't be more than just gay or straight, and I wanted to use Hugo as an example of that -- a stepping stone, if you will. I actually have quite a few bisexual characters, a pansexual guy and a transgender person, and Hugo was the first one I wrote so he has a soft spot in my heart.

*high five* Alaska was actually the first book of his that I read, so it felt fitting to include it!

Thank you so much for such a lovely review, Maia, and I hope you enjoy Bite Club!

 Report Review

Review #3, by Infinityx Smoke In Your Lungs

22nd December 2013:
Hi there! Thanks for requesting a review in my thread!

I must say that this was such a brilliantly written story. I think the choice of words, the length of the sentences and your grammar were incredible.

There were some parts where I got confused, especially with the references to Lucy at the end of the story, but I suppose that's because I haven't read Bite Club. I still immensely enjoyed reading this.

I think you've done a wonderful job in writing in second person as well as bringing out the romance in the story. The extent to which the relationship between Jeremiah and Hugo is described fits perfectly with the tone of the story.

I'm definitely going to read Bite Club soon and then read this again to understand it better.

I absolutely love it and your style of writing! :)


Author's Response: Hi!

Oooh, thank you so much! I'm really glad you liked it!

Lucy wasn't intended to be confusing, but I suppose that's because I'm the author and I already know her background with Hugo :P But I'm glad you enjoyed this one-shot regardless of the confusion! :)

Ah thank you so much! I was really worried about the romance, but your comments are quelling those concerns somewhat!

And thank you so much! I really appreciate your review! ♥


 Report Review

Review #4, by LilyLou Smoke In Your Lungs

3rd December 2013:



Hon, this is without a doubt the most superbly written piece I have ever had the privilege to read on this sight. The words were astounding. You left me feeling as though I just finished reading a Cassandra Clare book. Every word, syllable, and sentence you have here is the epitome of perfection. Words simply cannot describe how beautiful this truly is. I actually reread the whole thing because I loved it so much.

I haven't read the Bite Club before, so I was obviously confused by this. However, that didn't stop me from enjoying this. Your second POV was undeniably phenomenal. Don't think for a second it wasn't.

Sam's a lucky person, having this written just for them! I'm jealous!

So I just dropped by to read this for our little review swap. Again, beautiful! And don't think for a second that I'm not gong straight to reading Bite Club, because I am!

I'd just like to thank you for writing such an extraordinary piece.


P.S. Loved the 'Looking For Alaska' mention. I love that book. And John Green.

Author's Response: Oh my gosh, those are wonderful words of praise indeed! Thank you so very much ♥ I'm so pleased that you liked it and reread it :P

I'm really pleased that you still enjoyed this despite not having read Bite Club ^.^ and thank you again!

I feel really illiterate here, because I can't seem to find the appropriate words I need to convey how much I appreciate this review and how wonderful I find your compliments. Thank you so much ♥

*runs off to deflate head*

And yes - I love Looking For Alaska! I'm planning to read his other books soon :D

-Isobel :)

 Report Review

Review #5, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Smoke In Your Lungs

28th November 2013:

I'm trying so hard not to write this all caps locked - do you know how much self-control that takes? A LOT. (Damn...)

Hugo, he... he... no obliviating. Bad Hugo. I can't believe he did that, I want to cry. And cry. AND CRY! (I swear, I'm trying.) And all their times together, they're so lovely and adorable and my OTP. Forever and always, my OTP. I'm never letting them go. BECAUSE THEYRE REAL AMD TRUE! I KNEW IT! I trust my instincts, I'm always right about this stuff. *nods*


It's going to be so awesome and perfect! I KNEW IT!

Thank you so much for writing this for me, it's the best present ever. Seriously. Best. Present. EVER. *hugs*


Author's Response: I'm so glad you love this, Sam ♥ (And I sympathize with your caps-lock plight :P)

Poor Hugo *sobs* And awww, I'm so happy that my ship is your OTP ♥


And I'm so honoured! Thank you! ♥

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login