Reading Reviews for Wrapped Up in Light
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by alicia and anne Wrapped Up in Light

10th January 2016:
Oh this is a scary and dark start, it's really setting the tone for George doing something that he probably shouldn't be doing.

And you're making me sad, especially George's line, "How can one live, when their other half was torn away from them?" That was so powerful and so gut wrenching, it really puts it into words just how George is feeling.

I just really want to hug George, I want to help him get through this. I love that Molly has come there to be there for him, because I cannot as I am not in the story (totally write me into one *hint hint*)

Oh my god you are going to make me cry! I am going to be a puddle of tears on the floor and it is entirely your fault!

Fred is right, that cube is magical. I'm glad it was there so that it could save him.

I am so glad that Angelina was there to meet him!

This was wonderful again! You are so talented, and I just get lost in your words. I crave so much more of it!

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Review #2, by likeness_of_a_seabird Wrapped Up in Light

29th January 2015:
Hufflepuff Hot Seat Review, round three!

So, uh… why am I thinking the old man who visits George is Gandalf? It must be the long grey hair and the pipe; there’s no other explanation. Even the way he speaks is somewhat Gandalf-ish. At any rate, I loved the dramatic entrance, although I must commend George for his steely nerves. If a sudden gust of wind had suddenly opened my door and I had discovered someone standing behind me after I closed it, I would probably have gone into shock. But what exactly did the old man come to tell him and what is that cube? And how dare Gandalf… I mean, the old man steal George’s book. I hope it wasn’t a library book he took…

I love Molly. The way she simply waltzes in and starts lecturing George is simply great. Of course, she only has his best interests at heart, as always. I loved how she reminded George that he wasn’t the first person who has lost someone they hold dear without undermining his grief. To me, it felt like she was saying “I’ve gone through this too, you can come and talk to me.”

I was honestly scared when he pointed his wand at his throat. I was mentally screaming “The cube! The cube!” and almost shook the laptop to get the message across. Luckily he remembered it before it was too late. But who did that eerie laughter belong to, I wonder?

Gandalf was Fred! I admit, I did not see that coming! It’s great how Fred was looking after George and worrying about him and even went so far as to convince Death (I love how Death is female, by the way. I love creepy female personification of Death whose laughter sounds eerily like that of a little girl’s) to let him see him so that he could talk some sense into him. I also loved how Fred announces he has the rest of George’s life planned for him just like that. He even sends him to Venezuela just so that he can ask Angelina out. Simply marvellous.

I really loved this story, thank you so much for writing this!

- Emmi

Author's Response: Hey Emmi!
So you chose the story that I've always found cringe worthy but somehow manages to get some good reviews on it.

I never thought of the old man being like Gandalf but reading through it again I can totally see how that works!

Molly is fantastic. enough said.

It was Fred! He would always look out for George, and would do anything to make George happy again, even though Fred couldn't convince Death to let him go back.
Thanks for the review!

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Review #3, by wolfgirl17 Wrapped Up in Light

13th January 2015:
Hey Kyle,

This is a really cool story. I enjoyed reading it. Thanks for contributing it to the archives.



Author's Response: Thanks For your review!
I appreciate it!

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Review #4, by Freda_and_Georgina Wrapped Up in Light

26th November 2014:
Wow. Just wow. Everyone knows George is going to be depressed after his twin's death, but I never expected it to be that horrible Then again, nothing tragic like that has ever happened to me.

I'm surprised you made death female. In almost all works of literature that I've read, it's usually male (if given a gender). As for your concept of the afterlife, interesting. I like that you didn't give too many details to prevent from colliding with any readers' religious ideas. As for making a deal with death, that comes straight from the Tale of Three Brothers. Brownie points to you.

Oh, Fred. You made him very believable and loving of those he was close to. Only he would make a deal with death to set his twin up with his former girlfriend.

All in all, lovely story.

Author's Response: Thank you so much Georgina! Also Freda, because both of you are awesome.
I haven't looked at this story in so long, I had actually started calling this "the story that shall not be named" From the lack of interest in it.
I loved writing Fred in this, and George was so depressing to write. I loved writing that opening though...
Thanks again! Glad you thought it was lovely. :)

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Review #5, by LightLeviosa5443 Wrapped Up in Light

2nd December 2013:
Hi! Thanks for requesting a review in my thread!

So this chapter was a first for me, and I can certainly say it was very different from anything I have ever read.

The story jumps around here and there, but it's a one-shot, so when you're trying to cover a lot of things I think it's inevitable.

I think you could throw in a few more details, seeing as how it is a one-shot. For example, in that first section you have a load of details and it's really easy to follow, but you slowly begin to jump around after that. Don't be afraid to add a few extra details about the surroundings, or the persons thoughts. It gives the reader more to think about and maybe even relate to. It also adds to your word count which never hurts!

I like this story, that's for sure. It's a cute concept of Fred trying to get George and Angelina together because they both need each other to survive. I think the part where Fred is saying that it killed him every time George cried killed me.

A couple of grammar and spelling errors:

-"Maybe, it is the worry and frustration she put on her children." In this line you don't need a comma after maybe. It separates the word from the rest of the sentence causing it to not read smoothly.

- In the sentence "Could it be that the love she felt for her family, be strong enough to keep her together?" - it's like the second half of the sentence is missing a piece. Did you mean to have the words 'could it' in front of the word 'be'? It just seems like the sentence is missing something.

-The sentence when you're talking about the Veil you say "Some unknowable's discovered this property and where able to contain a concentration of it in the department of mysteries." - you should say 'and they were able' instead of 'and where able', also I don't think the 's is necessary attatched to the word unknowable. Unless you want to say Unknowable has discovered. So the sentence would read "Some unknowable discovered this property and they were able to contain a concentration of it in the department of mysteries."

I hope I helped!

xoxo LL

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Even though it was requested this gives me a lot of confidence in my story! I will go through to edit in some more detail, I kinda did rush through the end so I probably should slow down a little to give it better detail. Thanks again for your review!

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