Reading Reviews for Primadonna
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by marauderfan Chapter 1

28th November 2013:
What a super intriguing beginning! You've done really well with the characters so far - their personalities come across really strong and clear. Verity seems like a typical spoiled brat, haha. Not surprising given that she's Lucius's sister, because the Malfoys seems like a family that spoils their children! That line about Bella not having a cat for long - eek! really accurate though.

But the last scene is the one I love the most. A girl in an institution who's dreaming about all these events happening. (Or is she? I have a theory about what's actually happening, so it looks like I'll definitely have to keep reading to see if it's right ;)

This is a really great start! So far it's well written, mysterious, and exciting! Keep up the great work.

Author's Response: Hi!

Yay intrigue! I'm glad you thought the personalities really shone. That means a lot! And yes, Bella's sadistic tendencies are a little scary...

And you liked the last scene? Yay! Ooh and a theory? Well we might have to talk about this theory, since I'm excited to hear what my readers are thinking!

Thank you so much and I will try my hardest to keep going!

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Review #2, by Rumpelstiltskin Chapter 1

28th November 2013:
I have to say that the title is perfect and I think I love Verity.

Bella wont have a kitten for long *shudders* poor kitty!

So this is set up to be a very interesting story indeed. A girl in a mental institution having hallucinations about things happening in Marauder's era, Hogwarts? That's freaking fantastic! I'm so excited!


Author's Response: Hi!

Yes! Title perfection is one of the many things I strive for! :)

And yes, Bella is not very nice. *shudder*
And yay, I'm excited too!

Thank you so much Rumpel! I can always count on you to make me smile with your reviews!

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Review #3, by toomanycurls Chapter 1

26th November 2013:
I've had this argument many times. With my dad, husband, and well, me. :D Wow, this line kind of struck me ' if Bellatrix has a kitten, she won't for much longer' with how evil Bellatrix must have been as a child. And how many people looked the other way.

Verity- quite the perfect name for a spoiled girl who loves perfection. Quite the ego too.

Verity is eye-candy. I'm completely enthralled knowing she's Lucius' sister. Totally hooked.

I LOVE her attitude and way of judging me. Not a bad scale if you ask me.

Woah. My mind is now blown. All of that was a potentially crazy lady's dream. I have to say, I didn't see that coming and I'm not hooked to this story.


Author's Response: Hello!

Eek I know! I want a kitty so bad! But my dad won't let me. :(
And yes, I really like to show the more sadistic side of Bellatrix.

And you like her name? Yay! And yes, she does have quite an attitude!

And yes! It was a dream! Yay for surprise and intrigue!

Thank you so much Rose! As soon as life calms down I'm going to go on a reviewing spree since I've been so negligent to you, hun!

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Review #4, by patronus_charm Chapter 1

26th November 2013:
Haha, the story I gave you is in this era too which made me laugh because no one ever seems to write in it :P

Verity reminded me of Veruca Salt from Charlie Chocolate Factory (if you read it that is) at the beginning with the demanding of a cat because someone else had one and then the insistence of it being pink. I rather liked you made her unlikable because people so rarely do that with main characters so it was a refreshing change.

She really was vile to Patty though and the way she assumed she was perfect. It was interesting though because though she said she was perfect she still insisted on spending ages in there which makes me wonder whether her vanity is just an act. It will be really interesting to explore why she is like that so I hope you do so that shes more of a multi-dimensional character.

The scene with Lucius was good too because it helped me get to grips a little with the whole Death Eater hierarchy and who is going to marry who because it can often be rather intricate.

The only time I felt a little confused was at the end, but then it was sort of confusion in a good way. It was a rather good cliff hanger to end it on because Im left wondering whether Verity is real or not or just a figment of the imagination. Then theres the whole idea of when in time she is and where exactly. All very intriguing stuff.

There were a few small errors such as here I. Want One! where you needed a full stop after want, but if you just had another quick read through it should be fixed quickly. :)

Thanks for the swap, it was a really interesting read!


Author's Response: Hi!

Well I guess great minds think alike when reviewing, eh?

And yes, I have read Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, but I've never really considered Verity to be like Veruca Salt. But that doesn't mean that it isn't true! Now that I think about it, she does have a little Veruca in her. I really like that comparison. Thank you! :)

And yay for unlikeable main characters!

And yes, I do plan to explore Verity's mindset (she is not all that stable), especially considering that our unnamed actual MC is stuck inside Verity's head for a few hours a day.

And yay for Death Eater hierarchy! I really wanted to portray the strangeness of the Death Eater world and how Voldemort influenced them, so I'm glad that came across right.

And thank goodness your confusion was good! And yay for intrigue! One of my favourite things!

Eesh! Typos! I shall get on that ASAP! Thank you for pointing that out though! Totally skipped over that one!

Thank you so much, your review was so helpful and appreciated!

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Review #5, by MissesWeasley123 Chapter 1

26th November 2013:
Whoa. That...that was really good. Hi! I'm here for the review swap :) Your summary looked so interesting, and the story I gave you had to do with schizophrenia too, so I thought this would be a cool piece to read. And I'm really glad I did!

It was so enticing! I'm left with all these questions, like, "Who's the girl? Is she a Muggle? Or is she a witch? Why is this happening to her? Who's Verity?" and so much more. I think one of the greatest things you can do as an author is make some curious and think, which is what you did. Excellent job on that!

I think you had a couple of typos here and there, so you might want to check those out when you have the time to :)

This Verity girl.. she's not canon, right? You pull her off so well, especially the beginning part where I can already sense some rivalry. It's interesting how Voldemort wanted to set her up with Crouch!

Lucius was a really good character too. As a reader, I love when an author takes the time to perfect their characterization. That and description always stands out most to me, and you do a flawless job with both.

All in all, this opener was very well written, and I look forward to reading more when you most!

Author's Response: Hi!

Well, I'm very glad you read this one as well! :)
As for the questions, I promise to answer them in due time and thank you! I'm smiling very very big at the moment!

The typos I will fix ASAP (after the queue closure though), so thank you so much for pointing those out!

And yay! I'm glad I could make Verity seem canon-esque! And thank you for the 'flawless' comment. I can't stop smiling!

Thank you so much for this, it really made me happy, and I hope my updates do the story justice!

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