Reading Reviews for On Air
  
21 Reviews Found

Review #1, by casual_chaos On Air

20th November 2014:
Kristin!

It turns out I have A LOT of your stories on my Reading List! When I first joined hpff not so long ago, I went on a 'to read' spree and just bookmarked everything that sounded interesting. Now I'm slowly working through that list of stories and I'm amazed by how many of yours are there!

Anyway, what a lovely, lovely story! You've created such an interesting background for Reg, who I felt so sorry for in the books. The trio had a great mission at hand but they could sometimes hurt innocent people on their way. :/

It was a really nice touch, making Mary Cattermole and Mary McDonald the same person! And you threw in a bunch of other canon details that fit so well with Reg's story! I absolutely loved the part about Mary being part of Potterwatch (also, loved the title of the story)! It fit with her personality, especially her willingness to help and inspire people to keep strong. From Reg's description of her at the beginning, she also appeared like someone who couldn't sit back and do nothing so the fact that she eavesdropped on Death Eaters while in hiding and joined an underground resilience movement seemed so suitable!

And Reg! What a great portrayal of him. I love that he wasn't the most cunning person on the planet (as a matter of fact, he seemed to be rather clumsy when it came to plotting :P) but had still decided to fight back, despite his fear and lack of courage to do so in the first place. And he didn't have to do anything grand, he just did with what he thought to be the simplest way to get to Mary. Now that I mentioned it, that whole scene with the slimy moss was brilliant. The coded conversation, the fear of getting caught, the pure anxiety I felt when I was reading it - just marvellous! It reminded me of Orwell's 1984, if you've read it. :)

I'm just so glad this story exists, because your Reg was such a normal, relatable person. Not everyone was as brave as the trio was during the war and I really appreciate this story for showing that. The descriptions of the general atmosphere during the war times were a great way to make the reader feel what Reg was feeling and to fully enter his state of mind. The Harry Potter series had much more parallels with the real world than it appeared at the beginning, when it was just a children's book. The part about a Registration Commission that deals with 'blood purity' is sadly not that foreign concept in the human world, nor were many other things featured in the books. I could blabber on about things I haven't actually been through, but the point is this - I think you were very successful in portraying Reg's emotions during the war. He may have sat by his window with a cigarette instead of battling Death Eaters but that didn't mean he wasn't going through his own inner hell. So, I want to congratulate you as well as thank you for writing this story!

Andy

Author's Response: Andy!!! Eee hello! Everytime I see I have a review from you it just makes my day :D

Wow, really? Aww! Thanks, it really is lovely to hear that my stories sound interesting ;)

I think Reg's appearance in the books was almost comical, as he was just in one scene, this maintenance guy who had no idea what was going on and wasn't really important compared to the work Harry and co. were doing - but considering everything that happened to Reg's wife, he had to be having a tough time. So I really enjoyed the opportunity to create a back story for him and give him a voice.

I'm so glad you liked that about Mary! Once I thought of it, I couldn't un-think it, as the few details we knew about each Mary seemed to match :D And it's wonderful to hear that you liked this portrayal of Mary and how she helped in the war effort. I thought Potterwatch was SO cool in the book, and really wanted to explore it from the other angle. (Ooh, thanks, I was quite happy with the story title as well :p)

Aah thanks I'm so glad you liked Reg as well! I was really trying to show the war from the eyes of someone who was not a hero - but also how people can be heroes in their own small way. Though he was clumsy about it, as you pointed out, it did work in the end! So glad you liked that coded conversation as well - and I LOVE '1984'! I'm so honoured that you would compare my work to that book! :O

It's such a relief to hear that Reg was relatable and normal, and that you liked the way the story showed the struggles of an average person. And you are so right about the parallels with the real world - kind of scary and sad to think about actually.

Gah, thank you so much for this amazing review! ♥


 Report Review

Review #2, by Felpata Lupin On Air

9th October 2014:
This was just so clever!
You got me by surprise since the very first sentence... Mary McDonald and Mary Cattermole are the same person?!? How did you come up with that? Kristin, you are a genius!!!
I loved every bit of this oneshot.
I loved Mary and Reg, their simple life, the way they slowly recovered from the first war together, their kids. It was all so cute!
And making them find each other again thanks to Potterwatch was just so clever!
Good luck for the Dobbys. I really hope you'll win, you totally deserve it!
Love,
Chiara.

Author's Response: Hi there! Ah, thank you, I'm so glad you liked this story!

Yeah, I really enjoyed coming up with the backgrounds for these very minor characters, especially because I could link the stories of two Muggle-born characters named Mary and write them as the same person. I'm so glad you liked that!

I loved reading about Potterwatch in the DH book, and since I was writing a second war fic I really wanted to find a way to work it in there to show its effect on people other than Harry.

Aw, thanks! I had no idea this story was nominated for a Dobby until reading some reviews I got, and I'm flattered that someone nominated it!
Thanks for reading and for your review! :)


 Report Review

Review #3, by Roisin On Air

28th September 2014:
Ah! This is SOSOSO good! Like, AH!

I'm so glad you got nominated for the Dobby, and I ended up finding this one-shot! GAH, I don't even know where to begin!

First off, MARY MACDONALD IS MARY CATTERMOLE! That is just... YES. That makes SO MUCH sense! You are a genius! To the point that I'm genuinely upset, because this is now my headcanon, and so Year Five is now NO LONGER CANON COMPLIANT! AH!

Seriously, everything about this was just BRILLIANT! Dungbombs sent to the Ministry junior secretary? PERCY, right?!?!

And I just loved how you showed their courtship and marriage prior to the second war--it's so simple and yet so beautiful. And Mary is just AWESOME here! So brave and wonderful! And Reg is just SO LIKABLE!

And "Runaway" was a perfect Potterwatch alias! So clever! This one-shot was so exciting! The coded way Reginald communicates with Kingsley was AMAZING. All through that sequence, you really channeled the tension of DH. I loved how you show how the war affected so many people, and all these little heroisms outside of Harry.

I could go on and on. This was just so flawless and amazing, and so rich, and so perfect. You did a really enviable job of showing an alternate POV of the war that suited canon so spectacularly, and 100% deserve a Dobby for this story!

GUSHYGUSHYGUSHGUSH!
xoxo
-Roisin

Author's Response: !!! First of all, what ajsdfhjka this got nominated for a Dobby?! Ahhh! I had no idea! I wish I knew who had done that so I could thank them!

I couldn't see it any other way once the idea had struck me, that they could easily be the same person. And I'm flattered that you see this as your headcanon now! Hehe, that was the one thing about Year Five that didn't fit my headcanon either, but clearly it didn't bother me too much because I still love Year Five to bits. :)

And YES, I'm glad you caught it - that was indeed Percy! :D

I'm so glad you liked Reg and Mary, and their background story! Minor characters and alternate POVs of canon events are some of my favourite things. So much was happening during the war and Harry had a pretty unique view of it, which is why I wanted to show the war through the eyes of someone who wasn't a hero - and yet how everyone is a hero in little ways too. I'm really glad you liked the little connections between Potterwatch and Reg and Kingsley too!

When I first wrote this story I was really unsure what I thought of it, but since then it's become one of the stories I'm most proud of. I'm thrilled that you enjoyed it so much, and gahhh thank you so, so much for your incredible review! ♥ ♥ You are amazing! Thank you so much!


 Report Review

Review #4, by 1917farmgirl On Air

25th March 2014:
You know, for a series of kids books, JKR wrote some pretty grown-up stuff.

I've studied a lot about WWII history, the war, the underground movements, and you have completely captured that same feeling here with this story. You really are a master at storytelling. I could feel the nervousness, the anguish of being apart, the helplessness of Reg as he didn't know what to do or how to keep his family safe.

I can't believe how you keep taking these characters who had maybe one line in the books and turning them into flesh and blood with whole back stories and everything. You leave me wondering who Sean was, and if Mary tied into the Marauders somehow. And if they ever came back, after the war was over.

I wonder about Maisie's experiences at Hogwarts during that nightmare year. You captured the way warm makes kids grow up way too fast in the reactions of Reg and Mary's kids in this story.

The best part about your stories is that as I'm reading them, I don't remember I'm reading a story at all. I get sucked into what's going on and can see it all playing out in front of my eyes instead of the words I'm actually reading.

And I also love how all your stories tie together. If I'm not mistaken, this Carol was the same Carol from your last Luna story. That's a really cool touch.

Glad I got to read another one of your great stories! At this rate, I might catch up someday. Of course, you still have a novel with 37 chapters I'm going to have to work my way through, so I've still got a ways to go!

Beautiful writing, as always. You're a Pro!

Author's Response: Right? Pretty intense, with wars and genocide and prejudices and a lot of stuff in disguise that's really just the same problems the non-magical world has. :-/

Aaa! Wow, thank you! I am so glad it captured that intense wartime feeling. I think WWII history is really interesting too, but I don't know much about the underground movements to be honest, and that's why it's especially cool to hear that the underground movement in this fic resembled that of WWII. Thanks!

Minor characters are my favourites for that reason - since there's not much established about them already, it leaves a lot of room for creativity with back stories. Hm, I like to think they came back, but who knows? ;)

I thought Maisie's story was important to tell because Harry didn't experience any of that year at Hogwarts, and not everyone was hiding in the Room of Requirement - it must have been an awful year especially for those without any hope. :(

Aw, thank you! I'm glad my stories are that captivating! Yours are too, btw.

Yes, it is the same Carol ;) I think you're the first person to point that out, actually. A lot of my stories have a bit of overlap, I love making little connections!

Haha - the novel was my first fanfiction, and I hadn't quite figured out what a plot was. It's basically 20 chapters of serious/Sirius puns and 19 chapters of actual story. Well, you've been warned :p

Thank you so much for your amazing review!! ♥


 Report Review

Review #5, by HufflePuff_Blitz On Air

20th March 2014:
I really liked this! I always wondered what would of happened to Reg and his wife. This was very well done explanation and I loved how they found each other again :) Keep up the great work

Author's Response: Hi! Aww, thank you! I'm so glad you liked their story and how they found each other. Thanks so much for your review!

 Report Review

Review #6, by MissesWeasley123 On Air

7th January 2014:
Hello! Here for our review swap and the 12th day of the 12 Days of Reviewing.

So this. I'd been meaning to read all of the mention for the Unexpected Voice challenge, and Reg is always so forgotten. I think the most brilliant thing about this piece has to be that Mary Cattermole is Mary McDonald which equals my mind blow. It just makes so much sense for that to be, and what's even funnier is that Harry's mum's friend kissed Ron (in the movies at least) which is slightly disturbing and yet hilarious haha.

The five months must've been brutal. But you paced the story wonderfully and the sense of loss he was feeling.

Potterwatch plays such a significant role is soothing the Trio, and I liked how it soothed Reg as well, to know she was alive and everything. It was sweet to see his family listening to her and that moment was just so beautiful. You really painted their relationship with such care and it was honestly amazing.

This entire piece was a combination of originality and writing prowess, because you truly have an extraordinary quality of taking missing moments and writing one shots on them. Definitely write more if you have time.

Happy New Year!

Author's Response: Wahh, thank you, this is such a lovely review!!! So many compliments and I just I ajsdkjfaj. Ok - will try to type coherently now.

I'm so glad you liked Mary Cattermole as Mary Macdonald. Hahaha, I had never even considered that - Harry's mum's friend kissing Ron - that's so funny. And yes a little disturbing :p

It's so great to hear that the story is paced well. I know the beginning was kind of glossed over and the end more drawn out, but I'm really happy to hear that that worked with the focus on loss.

When I read DH I thought Potterwatch was the coolest thing, and writing a second-war fic I had to throw it in :D I'm so glad you liked that moment when they were listening to her, and that you liked the portrayal of Reg and Mary's relationship! I have to say it was so far out of my comfort zone as I'm not married and don't have children and haven't been separated from a significant other by war/Voldemort etc. so I am so glad to hear they came across well!

Aah, you are too nice! Thank you so much, it means a lot to hear that this was original and I'm so flattered at your compliments on my writing. Thanks so much for the review, and happy New Year!!!


 Report Review

Review #7, by LaLaLuna On Air

31st December 2013:
Hey, I really loved the Reg Cattermole perspective. I'd never really though about him much before but you made him really interesting - and I had never put Mary McDonald and Reg's Mary together before but it makes perfect sense! They're both Muggleborns (or at least, I asumed they both were), their names are both Mary and they are the same age. Clever story and really good writing!

Author's Response: Hi there! This review was such a wonderful surprise! I'm so glad you liked Reg Cattermole's POV and found him interesting :) And it's so nice to hear that you thought the two Mary's being the same person was clever. Thanks for the lovely review and happy new year! :)

 Report Review

Review #8, by GingeredTea On Air

26th December 2013:
This was brilliantly orchestrated. It took me a moment to fall into pace with it (I honestly didn't remember this guys name at first) but after you grounded me a bit (which you did wonderfully at) I really enjoyed the story!

I loved how you introduced us but didn't spend forever introducing us and I also really liked how you described the chaos, him with the children, hearing her on the radio and the way he went back to the Ministry. Awesome job!

Thanks for swapping with me! Like you, I wouldn't normally have clicked on this story but really really enjoyed reading it!

Author's Response: Thank you!! Yeah, Reg Cattermole is a really minor character and easily forgettable as he's only in like one chapter of Deathly Hallows. I really love telling background stories about minor characters though!

I'm so glad to hear you enjoyed the story, and the introduction was an appropriate length, and that you liked the description!

Thanks for the swap, it was lovely to read your work too :)


 Report Review

Review #9, by Secret Santa On Air

25th December 2013:
First of all, Santa would like to apologize for being so late with this; my memory is not what it used to be. Also, I think you know who I am since I left you two reviews on another story but didn't remember to let you know what they were for! Still, I hope you enjoyed your secret Secret Santa reviews. In this review, I'll be hiding my true identity behind another name just because it's more fun this way:)

And now onto the actual review!

I loved how you made Mary Cattermole and Mary Macdonald the same person. It really gives the story a nice touch. I thoroughly enjoyed reading about Reg and I really felt his hopelessness after Mary went missing. You gave very little description about the five months and it works; it gives the impression of him spending his days in a kind of a fog, mechanically repeating the same thing day after day.

Then, the big reveal: Mary is alive, she's fine and she's working with Potterwatch to tell the wizarding world the truth. This time, I could feel Reg's rising hope and his uncertainty whether or not to contact his wife.

I loved the scene with Kingsley. Poisonous moss, indeed! Very clever.

The ending was simply perfect. I found the reunion of Reg and Mary simply touching and thought the story ended in the perfect spot. All in all, I think you did great job! This story makes a great Christmas Day reading with its hopeful tone and happy ending!

Merry Christmas!
- Your Not-So-Secret Santa

Author's Response: No worries! And the lack of anonymity doesn't make the reviews any less wonderful :)

Thanks, I'm really glad you liked the two Mary's being the same person, I love drawing connections between small details in canon. That is exactly what I was aiming for with the lack of description about Reg's time without Mary, so I'm happy it came across that way!

It's wonderful to hear you could connect with Reg and feel his hopelessness and then uncertainty, and that you liked the ending!

Kingsley is such a cool character! He absolutely had to make an appearance :p

I'm so glad you enjoyed reading the story, and thanks so much for your review! Merry Christmas to you too ♥


 Report Review

Review #10, by Red_headed_juliet On Air

13th December 2013:
Here for the review swap you did for me a long time ago. Sorry it took so long, winter storms, power outages, sick kids, and now I have a bit of time!

This was very good! I got goosebumps at one point. I liked how you managed to portray a completely ordinary man whose life was touched by Harry only briefly, but in a time like that, only briefly was all it took. I think the simplicity of it is really what sold it to me. Complex men have complex thoughts. This was just about a guy who wanted his wife back, and you did a very good job indeed. I can see why you at least got honorable mention, or runner up, because it must've been a close call. I didn't see anything to CC really, which is odd, because normally I'll pick out anything in order to be constructive, but you've done a fantastic job.

Thank you for the wonderful story!

Author's Response: No worries on the delay - I do completely understand having power outages all the time! :p

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked the portrayal of Reg. I love thinking of the ways people in the wizarding world are connected, particularly minor characters. And yeah, the narration was intended to be simple (though a complicated process in which he found Mary again) and I'm so glad you liked that! Ah thank you (and you know, the other three that won were really wonderful stories, if you're ever looking for something to read!)

I'm so thrilled that you enjoyed the story, and thanks so much for the swap!


 Report Review

Review #11, by milominderbinder On Air

11th December 2013:
Hi hon! Here from review tag :D

WOW I really liked this story. I can definitely see why it placed in the unexpected voice challenge! You really took an extremely minor character and managed to weave his life into the canon world perfectly.

I thought a lot of ways you did this were really clever. Especially the Mary connection - I never would have thought about them being the same person before I read this!

I also loved the mentions of Potterwatch :D It's little details like that which really make this fic more realistic. I think some wartime fics, while good, forget that we actually have quite a few details about what life in the war was like from canon. Things like potterwatch are so rarely mentioned in fic, and it's annoying sometimes, so I loved that inclusion here.

I also thought Reg and Mary were really sweet, and I liked their relationship. I feel like they kind of projected an air of being 'in it together', even when they were technically parted. That was sweet to read :)

~Maia

Author's Response: Maia! ♥ Aah thank you! (Ps- CONGRATS on your first place in that challenge, you absolutely deserved it!)

Eee, I am so glad you liked this, and thought it was clever! I love writing minor characters for that reason, I just think it's cool to imagine the ways that so many things in the wizarding world tied together, and how everything looks from the perspective of a really average, non-Chosen One. I'm glad you appreciated the Mary connection too!

I've always thought Potterwatch was the coolest thing and that all the people on it were awesome. So it was fun to include that and show a different side of the programme from the one seen in the books. Ah, thank you for saying it seemed realistic! That is so great to hear!

Thanks, I'm so happy that you liked Reg and Mary :) That's a wonderful way to think about it, that they were in it together despite the physical separation.

Thank you for such a wonderful review!!!


 Report Review

Review #12, by CambAngst On Air

9th December 2013:
Tagging you from Review Tag!

This was a clever piece. I've always been a fan of the idea that Reg Cattermole's wife was the same person as the Mary MacDonald that Lily Evans mentions in Snape's memories in Deathly Hallows. It just feels like one of those little threads that JKR tends to run through the story. It was fun to see you give her and Reg a fitting back story and breathe more life into the characters.

Beyond just Mary and Reg, you wove in some neat little bits of canon that made the story easy to relate to. The paraphrases from the Potterwatch broadcast that the trio listens to in Deathly Hallows, the pseudonyms used by the contributors, the puking pastille that Hermione slips to Reg and even the bit about Percy receiving a delivery of dragon dung were well done.

The second war was worse than the first because I was more afraid this time around. All the horrors came back, plus the additional fear that came along with being a father. -- I think you pretty much nailed the perspective that Reg would have had with this line. It's easier to be brave when you're only placing yourself at risk.

If I had to offer a bit of constructive criticism about anything in this story, I think it would be the way that Mary marches very stoically to her date with the Muggle-born Registration Commission. As you correctly pointed out early on, she was no stranger to the terrible fates suffered by so many during the first war. She's also a mother now. I though it would have made more sense for her to try to avoid her hearing, albeit unsuccessfully.

Reg's plan to make contact with his wife was nicely executed. Kingsley is recognizable and also a clever, perceptive fellow, just as you've written him here. The reunion was very touching, and it made perfect sense to see the family decide to leave the country for their own safety.

You write very well. Nothing felt awkward or forced and you mix up your word choice well so that nothing sounds singsongy or repetitive. I didn't see any typos, spelling errors or grammar problems. The story has a good pace and it flows really nicely.

Good job!

Author's Response: Hi there!

Wow, thank you for this wonderful review! I'm really glad you liked Reg and Mary's story and found it fitting.

Thanks, I love adding the little details like that! (That Potterwatch broadcast wasn't actually meant to be the same one as the trio listened to, as Fred wasn't there yet - but I'm so glad you enjoyed the snippets of canon and thought it made the story easier to relate to!)

It's so wonderful to hear that you thought Reg was realistic. I had been worried that he might not be believable since I really have little in common with him and was writing well outside my comfort zone there. So thanks!!

That's a great point about Mary though - to be honest I hadn't even considered that. I figured she would have thought there was no way out. But yeah I think I'll go back and make a few changes to that part.

I'm happy that you liked Reg's plan to contact Mary. Kingsley is a cool dude, I like to think that he helped out and his coworkers at the Ministry still had no idea what was going on with him.

I really appreciate your compliments about my writing style! That is lovely to hear. Thanks so much for reading and for the great review!


 Report Review

Review #13, by teh tarik On Air

1st December 2013:
KRISTINNN

Ahhh, Reg Cattermole! Ahahah, I LOVE what you've done with him. OK, confession, I've actually written him before, but unlike your story, which just gave his character justice and portrayed him so compassionately, I made Reg a bit of an idiot in mine. I'm not a very nice writer.

BUT ANYWAY.

Aww. This is such a lovely, heartwarming story, and above all, it's a beautiful love story between Reg and Mary who survived two wars and overcame such difficulty. I loved how their relationship gradually progressed over time, from their early days running in the rain and drinking tea in Mary's house to their working lives, and finally their family life. Mary is such a strong character; your portrayal of her is absolutely brilliant, and I was just rubbing my hands in glee at the part where it's revealed that she's a correspondent on Potterwatch. She's such a contrast to Reg. Reg is kinda scared, overly cautious, nervous...and he would be; I think you've nailed his characterisation perfectly. But Mary! Her zest for live and her determination is astounding, and the things she's done for the sake of aiding in the downfall of Voldemort. It was really great having her do all these heroic deeds like gathering information secretly from Death Eaters' basements; she's a hero in her own right.

And I absolutely adore how Reg decides to return to the Ministry to meet Kingsley and try to gain info on Mary's whereabouts. Royal slime moss LOL. I always enjoy it whenever I see minor characters from the books who have little to do with each other come together and interact in fanfic.

Other things I enjoyed about this story were all the little details here and there, that really made this story fit so well into canon. I think I caught a reference to Percy Weasley receiving dragon dung at work!

Anyway, I loved this story, Kristin! This was fabulous, and it's one of the more heartwarming and happier war fics out there, and you did a brilliant job portraying things through Reg's perspective. Great work! ♥ ♥

-teh

Author's Response: TEHHH

Aw, I'm so thrilled that you came to check out this story, what a lovely surprise! By the way, congrats in the challenge, you totally deserved the second place win, your entry was amazing!

Hehehe, well I don't think Reg is the brightest bulb in the box either, though that's a little harder to see from his POV :p

Thank you so much! I'm really glad you liked the progression of their relationship, and the portrayal of Mary. Reg didn't seem like a particularly strong person so I figured Mary should be, lol. I think there were probably a lot of unlikely, unrecognised heroes in the war.

I'm so happy to hear that you liked Reg's characterisation, and the scene when he sneaks back into work. I love minor character interactions too, it's like attaching the parts of the story we know and giving them extra meaning. At least that's what I try to do :p Good catch, that was indeed a reference to Percy, haha!

Thank you!! ♥ I don't often write happily ever after stories where things work out in the end, so this was a new thing for me :p Thank you so much for reading, and for your absolutely fantastic review!! ♥


 Report Review

Review #14, by LilyLou On Air

30th November 2013:
This was a great story! Reg Cattermole is someone I have actually never read fanfiction about before. You wrote him and his family so well! Is Mary actually Mary MacDonald, according to JK? If so, I never knew that! I always make Mary die in my fictions... Anyway! This was absolutely amazing. You definitely deserved to win runner-up for Lululuna's Unexpected Voice challenge. Well done!

This was very original, and I'm glad I stopped by to read it!

-Janelle

Author's Response: Hi, thank you! Yeah, I'd never read anything about Reg either - I'm sure there's some stories out there, I just haven't seen them!

As far as I know, JK has never said Mary Cattermole is Mary Macdonald. I only made that connection because they're both named Mary and both Muggle-born (probably, given what happened to Mary McD in the books) so I decided they were the same person, lol.

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it and thought it was original, and I really appreciate the review!!


 Report Review

Review #15, by Penelope Inkwell On Air

27th November 2013:
Oh my gosh, this was brilliant! I loved it! Iíve seen several interesting charactersí stories submitted recently for that Unusual Voices contest, but this is my favorite so far. I just love how you depicted Reg. His character in this story had that same aura about him--a man who was a bit lost, a bit hapless, and never thought of himself as all that clever. But he came through! That was fast thinking on the moss, and finding a way to let Kingsley know that Reg suspected who he was. And studying up on how to Apparate long-distance. Well done, Reg! I was proud of him.

I felt that you struck a very nice balance in your portrayal of him. Itís obvious that he depended a lot on Mary, and that in losing her he lost a lot of himself. However, he keeps going as best he can, for the sake of his kids. I like that you included things like his losing his job and taking smoking back up, though, because it was realistic. Just because he wanted to be able to take care of his family couldnít possibly erase his fear or depression. However, he obviously still took care of them *in spite* of being so down which just made me love him more. You can see that heís trying. He makes the kids pancakes! After all heís lost, noticing that heíd taken that effort to do something special for his children the day they hear Maryís voice just made me practically tear up! Details. I love them.

And then how Mary was on the run, helping the resistance while she hoped to find her family--how awesome is she? You see that she really is all that Reg thought she was, not just a romanticization of the wife he lost. You see why he depended on her so much, as she was obviously a strong, brave woman.

I liked how, in the end, they fled to France, because itís the kind of thing you wonder about, reading the books. They can travel magically--surely some people are at least *trying* to escape? And here they do.

The only CC I could think to offer was that in the paragraph that says, "Mafalda poisoned me along the way, so I missed Maryís trial while I was sick in the street,Ē the description seemed a bit abrupt. It pulled me out of the story for a moment before I remembered that Mafalda was Hermione. I thought it might help if you described how she poisoned him, or that he thought he felt her tear out some of his hair. However, when Reg suspects that she might be in league with Voldemort, it gave me a bit of a chuckle :) Thatís really the only thing I could think of , as far as CC goes.

Overall, this was just quite well-written--I loved all the details you worked in. The plot was well-constructed, and Reg was an excellent choice of a protagonist. You took someone who never really stood out much in a world full of colorful characters, and you showed us why he was important. Very nice work! I really enjoyed it.

--Penny

Author's Response: Hi! Wow, where to begin - this was such a lovely review and I had to just read it over and enjoy it multiple times because it was so great.

Ah, I'm so flattered that this is your favourite one you've read! (If you haven't read the three entries that won, though, you should definitely take a look because they are amazing and definitely worth reading.) I'm glad you liked the way I wrote Reg, and that he seemed like a realistic person! I was really hoping he'd seem real, as I had a bit of trouble writing him since I have very little in common with him. So thank you, that is wonderful to hear! And yeah, I'm a detail person too, I love little things like that.

That's a wonderful way of describing Mary, I'm so glad you liked her. I thought that even people as strong as she was would still have a breaking point and so it seemed natural that after all they'd been through, they'd just try to escape. You're right, I'm sure a lot of people had the same idea!

Thank you for that CC! I wrote this in a hurry to make the deadline and now that I look back at it, it is an abrupt sentence, so I rephrased it a little - thanks for pointing it out.

Thanks so much for this amazing and thoughtful review, I appreciate it so much! ♥♥


 Report Review

Review #16, by toomanycurls On Air

27th November 2013:
I have such a soft spot for Reg. he sounded so adorable in DH so I'm excited to read about him!

I love that you had Mary Macdonald as his wife. It's just tying him closer to people I'm familiar with.

I'm suddenly finding the need to read more Reg/Mary fics. They sound so perfect together.

You gave such a real feel to the horror of the second wizarding war. Especially for someone like Reg who lived through and lost loved ones the first time around. His stakes are so much higher now that he has a family. Oh gosh. :( You've made me care about him too much.

Oh dear, I was waiting for his run in with Harry, Ron, and Hermione. I kind of love the irony of him thinking she was in league with Voldemort. (Strike the kind of.)

I can't emphasize enough how beautiful and tragic this is to read. His love for Mary is so overt and genuine and the loss he experiences at her absence is just heart breaking.

Their kids are such dears. I love that Maise stood up to the Carrows. Ooh, yes! he needs to listen to Potterwatch. :-o It's Mary!! That was a brilliant move.

I'm so glad he's discovered hope again through the Potterwatch and the anti-Voldemort movement.

You have me on the edge of my seat with his sneaking into the Ministry. Maintenance workers are hardly scruitinized so I hope he makes it in!! *sigh* thank goodness.

Their reunion is so beautiful. It fills me with warm fuzzies that they made it out safely and together. You had me worried in the middle. This is so wonderfully done!!

-Rose

Author's Response: I'd be interested to find more Reg/Mary fics too - I've actually never seen anything else about Reg! I'm sure they must exist, though!

Thank you, I was really trying to make the horror of the war feel real. In a way I think Reg Cattermole is one of the most realistic characters in the series simply because he's so average, haha. So I was attempting to show the war through a relatable person, one who's not going around destroying Horcruxes. It's wonderful to hear that I made you feel for the characters, thank you!

Haha, yeah - there's really no way he could have known that was actually Harry Potter's friend with Polyjuice Potion and a trick sweet from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes :p In league with Voldemort seemed like a logical explanation!

Thank you, I'm so glad the feelings of nervousness during his Ministry-infiltration and happiness at the reunion came across. One of the things I put the most thought into in writing this was the various emotions involved so I'm really glad you commented on them! :)

Thank you for yet another wonderful review. ♥


 Report Review

Review #17, by bellatrixlestrange123 On Air

25th November 2013:
Hi there!

So I guess you could say Mary and Reg are canon as far as it goes to being present in the books but the fact that they only Appleseed for a little while realy does give you the poetic license to write this as beautifully as you did.

The beginning was heart warming and I always like hat sort of stuff, a sort of flashback on how two people first met. Your writing was so emphatic with the reader that I found my heart breaking when Mary was taken away and Reg lost his job and poor Maisie!

I'm glad this ended on a happy note though and you really did a wonderful job with writing it.

Keep it up!!!

Bella x

Author's Response: Thanks you!! Yeah, it was kind of difficult to write about a canon character that's only mentioned briefly, but you're right there's a lot of room for creativity with that as well. And thank you for saying my writing is beautiful ♥

I'm so glad you liked the flashback in the beginning, and that you could really feel for the characters.

Thanks so much for your wonderful review!!


 Report Review

Review #18, by Lululuna On Air

24th November 2013:
Hola! :) Thanks for entering my challenge and giving me this awesome entry! I'm so impressed you decided to stick with Reg and take on the challenge since he's such a minor character, and I have to say you did an incredible job of giving him a voice and making his story parallel canon in such fascinating ways.

The link of Mary MacDonald being his wife was so clever, since it's kind of assumed Mary was a Muggleborn from what happened to her at Hogwarts and of course Mary Cattermole was Muggleborn. So great job with that! She really made a wonderful Gryffindor here and I adored how fearless her character was.

I love how even though Reg's narration is simple, there are these amazing details which really paint a picture of their lives, like the kid who draws on the walls, and the dragon dung story- ha! I think that Reg is just an ordinary, good guy, yet to him his life is very exciting and fulfilling while others might just think of him as the maintenance guy at the Ministry who gets pushed around. I really liked getting to know him and seeing him change over the course of the story- I guess a lot of people would have had to when they got involved with the war, whether they wanted to or not.

I love how Mary is really an inspiration to Reg and keeps him strong with how vibrant she is. The scene where she leaves for the Ministry for her hearing was so sad, especially suspecting what's going to happen, and I especially liked the line about her being like a candle. It's funny, I remember feeling a little annoyed at Harry and co. for accidentally keeping Reg from being with Mary during her trial, but I suspect she might not have gotten away and gone on the run like she did here if they hadn't interfered, so I guess it did sort of work out!

Having Mary be on Potterwatch was so genius and a really great tie in with the books. I found it really fascinating how you explained how they got together in places like the basement of the Magical Menagerie, and it was wonderful how Mary and Reg's story was one of success. Another detail which was really cool was how Maisie was the one who told her dad about the radio channel: it mirrors the empowerment of young people and students in resisting Voldy when their parents are resigned and defeated, and was a really cool detail. :)

Reg's indecision about what to do was great and showed how he has to adjust and learn how to be heroic in this new world. I really enjoyed his scheme of speaking with Kingsley and the tension and fear was really apparent. It really showed how frightening and dangerous the Ministry would have been, since even Reg visiting Kingsley might be suspicious. Their speaking in code was really cool and showed how inter-connected people can be, even if they don't know each other, when they're fighting on the same side in the war. I liked how Kinsley knew who Reg was and even said "run away"... it was very sly :)

Aw, I'm so glad they're all back together and will be ok. And of course the war will end soon so hopefully they would have made it back to England. I got really attached to these characters, and I think you wrote them so well! :D I think the story is so original as I said before since it's about ordinary people who find ways to fight and be strong for their families in the midst of chaos.

Amazing job, and thanks again for entering! :D The results should be up in a couple days. :)

Author's Response: Ahh thank you! Writing Reg was quite difficult for me as I can't relate to him very much, so I really enjoyed the challenge of writing it!

I'm so glad you liked Mary's identity. I love making little links between things, and I was happy that that opportunity came up, to link two parts of canon together! I'm really glad you like the little details in the story too. I'm a sucker for details. And I think in Reg's case, since he has a pretty ordinary life, that the little things would be big for him, as you said. Hehe, the dragon dung story - that was a really subtle reference to the twins' prank on Percy during GoF. I figured that story would have made its way around the Ministry :p

I was a little annoyed at Harry and co. during that part in the books too - how even their best efforts separated a couple of vulnerable people. But at least they got some people out safe (or relatively safer.)

I'm so glad you liked the Potterwatch scenes too! In the books Potterwatch just seemed like the coolest thing ever and I had no idea how they ever made it work, so it was cool to explore that. I like the point you made about Maisie too! That's very true, given how many of the fighters in the battle of Hogwarts were students - young, empowered and bringing change.

Poor Reg :( Yeah he tried to be heroic, especially after doing so much waiting :/ It's wonderful to hear that you got attached to the characters though, that makes me so happy :) I'm glad you liked the codes and underground connection of the resistance. I figured that even people who weren't in the Order would have ways of communicating with one another, organising, and fighting back!

Thanks so much for the challenge!! It was a great idea and a lot of fun to participate!


 Report Review

Review #19, by lindslo2012 On Air

24th November 2013:
OH MY GOSH. I'm almost in tears from reading this! This was so amazing and VERY well written!!! :D
Wow, you are such an amazing writer! ;) 10/10!
-Linds

Author's Response: Aw, thank you! I'm sorry about the tears, but at the same time I'm honoured that you got so attached to the story. Thanks for reading and for your amazing compliments!

 Report Review

Review #20, by patronus_charm On Air

24th November 2013:
Kristin!

Ah, Iím dying due to the fact Mary Cattermole is Mary MacDonald. Why did I never think of this link before? Anyhow, I absolutely love it as it added so much to the story and the love story they had was so adorable I was gushing away like someone silly. :P

The story about Sean really got to me. Even though it was barely explained it still touched my heart to see how it continued to resonate in Regís mind. I liked how he related it to his own wife too as if there could be a sign of hope with. Then the way you described how they find out about her being on the commission and the following events was great as it just had this solemn air about it.

The narration was great too. It wasnít overtly descriptive or used too many fancy words which fitted well with the idea of Reg being dumb. It was such a tiny thing but it worked so well because I had forgotten about that trait until I began reading so I was chuckling away about the ingenuity of it all. I think it was the way he simply accepted the fact Mafalda poisoned him and that Runcorn helped him escape which really topped it off as he was just so chilled and unquestioning about it.

The tie in of Potterwatch was really great and an excellent add in from Canon. I honestly thought Mary was going to be dead with the way you were building up to it and I had tears in my eyes but then hearing that she was alive and on Potterwatch as fugitive had me laughing as I never thought she would be so rebellious like that, and then the way Reg was determined to find was just great.

I loved all the codes which were going on to get Reg back to Mary it was so sweet to see how much effort they all went to. Aw, and their reunion was so cute too, I was just sitting there gushing about it as it really was meant to be and yeah theyíre so cute!

Great one-shot Kristin!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hey Kiana! Wow, it was so wonderful to get such a positive and reassuring review on this. I'd been kind of unsure of the story since I was in a rush to write it, so you just made me feel infinitely better about it, lol.

I'm so glad you liked the Sean story! I only included it as small details because in my mind, even something that happened a while ago wouldn't be forgotten when war comes around again. So I'm really glad that came across even though the whole story wasn't told.

It's great to hear that the narration worked too! He didn't seem like the type for fancy words, as you said. And I figured he couldn't have actually picked up on what was going on with Mafalda, who was actually Hermione in disguise with Polyjuice Potion and a Puking Pastille - but there's no way he would have known. And it seemed appropriate for him to have all sorts of doubts about his coworkers during wartime when everything is chaos.

I don't often write happily-ever-after endings so this was pretty different for me, haha!(Even though it's not really happily ever after because there's still a war on. But otherwise it is, lol.) I'm glad you liked the Potterwatch tie in and the reunion at the end!

Thank you for this fantastic review! You are such a great reviewer and I'm glad we got to swap! :)


 Report Review

Review #21, by BookDinosaur On Air

23rd November 2013:
KRISTIN. HAI.

I loved this! I know you said it didn't turn out how you wanted it to, but I think it's a great story.

The only thing I really noticed about this that might have annoyed you/me/any other given person was that it does deviate from the books a little bit - when Mary went to the hearing, she mentioned the kids being 'scared that she might not come back [home]' and at the end, she and Reg were reunited, and she was telling him that 'he told me to get the kids and get away, and I really think he's right' or something along those lines. Of course, this is from my memory, so I might be completely off the mark. :P But it really doesn't matter that this isn't completely canon, it is fanfiction.

Reg's voice was really real to me, how much he loved his wife and he had to care for his kids - I think you really managed to capture his fear for them and their awful state because he was connected to a muggle-born, like how they couldn't afford the mortgage and how he was fired from the Ministry.

Just another small thing: I love how you had Reg Cattermole's wife to be Mary MacDonald. That was an amazing way to blend her into the story, and it makes sense, so kudos to you for thinking of that, I know it never would've occured to me. :D

If there was one bit of CC I would give you, it would be at the very end, I find those last three sentences a little abrupt, it's just like BAM and they're in France. Personally, I would have liked the ending to be a little more fleshed-out - you could describe how terrified or how relieved they were, or their surroundings as they realised that they were in France. Of course, if you were intentionally going for that abrupt ending, ignore all this. :)

I also enjoyed reading about our favourite news presenters, I think you did a great job capturing Lee and Potterwatch in general, I loved getting a quick glimpse of how they worked and what sort of conditions they put up with to get the real news out to those who could hear. Seeing Kingsley's involvement was so interesting as well, how they were speaking in riddles and how he was in more danger than any of them, being such a well-known figure, I guess. He's so brave to have been part of something like Potterwatch, I respect him so much for it.

Anyway, this was an amazing one-shot I thouroughly enjoyed reading. Keep up the amazing work, Kristin! :D

Author's Response: EMILYYY

Thanks for that point about the possible non-canon ness. I was worried about that actually, because I don't have my copy of the books here so I was relying on memory, and I knew I'd get something wrong. Oops :p Next time I have access to my books I will look over that scene again!

I'm glad you liked Reg's voice in this. It was pretty out of my comfort zone to write so I wasn't sure if he would seem realistic - so it's wonderful to hear that he did! And yeah, since in the book his wife's name was Mary, I thought I may as well include a familiar character!

The last three sentences were meant to be abrupt. Most of the story is just Reg waiting around and time passing slowly, so I meant for the end to be a lot quicker when everything comes together. (But yeah I was pretty rushed writing the ending to complete it on time for the challenge, so I probably could have done that better! :p)

I'm glad you liked the Potterwatch angle! I always thought it was an interesting hodge podge of people participating so I thought it might be fun to write an inside glimpse into it. Kinglsey is totally a boss. So much respect for him.

Thanks so much for your review, and I'm thrilled that you liked the story! :)


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login