Reading Reviews for Laws of Attraction
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Penelope Inkwell Science and Magic

30th March 2014:
Okay, first off, I like the way you set up the scene, talking about Nicholasí apartment. You donít go on and on forever about it, but thereís enough detail that the scene is painted, and I can picture it well. It works especially well because youíre talking about Nicholas, who is a science-y type, and they donít usually wax romantic over a room setup. But Nicholas does find a little romantic in himself, so your description is a good mix of straightforwardness and detail.

Did that make sense?

"His stomach was filled with a warm feeling yet his acidity was normal.Ē
--This made me chuckle. It was such a cute little science-y thing to think. I donít know. Something about this sentence is just adorable.

I like the idea you have here of Magic vs. Science, and how Nicholas, as a squib, kind of walks the tightrope between the two. Itís a good story idea and I wish I could read a longer account of this pairís story.

-ďYou forgot that you needed one, didnít you?Ē
-ďMaybe.Ē
--Also, the timing of this worked out perfectly. It was very cute.

CC:

"At a glance, one would assume that the apartment belonged to a scientist and that assumption would be correct.Ē
--I think this would be a little punchier if you separated the sentences. Like, At a glance, one would assume that the apartment belonged to a scientist. That assumption would be correct. But thatís just a style thing, which is obviously super objective.

"Muggle Wolds
--In need of an ďrĒ

"but what really was love.Ē
--In need of a question mark.

Also, in general, Iíd sprinkle a few more commas in here (I am a comma fiend, and I use them to liberally in my work, so Iím no Comma Usage Queen or anything, but I think there are a few spaces where that little pause would help the flow of the story).

Obviously, those are all tiny things. Iíd say the main suggestion I could give for this would be to give us a few more details, especially in the scene where he catches Rose at the train station. You know how to paint a picture--itís a skill you utilize nicely in your opening--and Iíd love to see a little more of what is going on. A little more nervous shifting, or confusion, or moments where Nick is stuck trying to catch his breath. It would be nice to get to linger here a little longer, to get the full picture.

I enjoyed reading your one-shot. Since itís so short, Iíll probably throw in another review for you. Thanks for swapping with me!

--Penny

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Review #2, by LightLeviosa5443 Science and Magic

4th January 2014:
Yay! BvB Review Battle!

Can I just say that this was totally NOT a cringe-worthy one-shot. It was more like an applause-worthy one-shot of wonders!

When I first started reading I was intrigued and maybe a bit skeptical. I've never read a story about a squib, and I wasn't sure where you were going to go with it. Especially since it's a Rose/OC and I'm a firm Rose/Scorpius shipper. That being said, this story was fantastic.

My father is a scientist, so I weirdly recognized the terms you were using in the story, and the way that you put everything made it so realistic. I felt like I was actually watching a movie in my mind, which is something that sometimes fanfiction doesn't do all the time. So kudos to you there.

I really enjoyed how you ended this chapter, too. I had a feeling the proposal was coming, but I wasn't sure if she was going to say yes. I'm so happy she did. It's hysterical that he forgot the ring, and that she loves him enough to look past that to say yes and not get stuck on the fact that he would forget a ring.

Thanks for such a wonderful read!!

xoxo LL

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much! Fluff isn't really my forte, I'm used to writing adventure and mystery stories. That was why I was a bit worried that I'd taken the romantic angle a bit too far. I'm glad that isn't the case!

I'm a science student (not a good one, but yeah) so I thought I'd use some of the things I learnt in class. I didn't want to overwhelm the reader with all the jargon and I'm glad that it wasn't an impediment to your understanding of the story.

Rose was used to his scatterbrain behavior, so she really didn't mind him forgetting a ring. I'd also like to think that more than a ring, it's the love behind it that really matters. Every couple has a quirk and I think that theirs is being able to flout convention. Thank you so much for leaving this amazing and motivational review!


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Review #3, by Simran :) Science and Magic

22nd November 2013:
Aw! I'm sorry, I had to say that. It's so cute. I loved the line "Love isn't a hypothesis or a scaled. Love isn't science at all. Love is magic" Because it true, sometimes you can't explain why you love someone.. You just do

Author's Response: Thanks Simran :)

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Review #4, by Haronione Science and Magic

20th November 2013:
Hi again quixotic! Here for the Ravenclaw review battle :)

So, firstly, your authors note - this was not a cringe-worthy one shot!! I was a sweet, well written one that I enjoyed reading :) I really liked Nick's thoughts about being a squib, he was so positive and upbeat about it, seeing it as a 'best of both worlds' thing rather than a negative, failure thing as most would.

I liked how he assessed his feelings etc with scientific explanations :) and how he had trouble figuring out what love is. I loved this line Love wasn't a hypothesis or a scale, it wasn't science at all. It was magic. Love really is magic :) and as he is a squib this line is even more poignant here.

The scene at the station was really lovely :) Nick's little speech about love was heart warming, so cute and also very true! How sad though that it has taken him to the age of 26 to realise that though!!

The descriptions in this were fantastic, just the right balance, I thought, for this short one-shot.

At the start of their conversation at the train station the spacing was a bit off, it just needs reformatting in that part. Otherwise I didn't see anything to give CC on!

Sorry if this review has come out a bit weird, I'm having trouble converting my thoughts into coherent sentences tonight 0.o

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Hey! Sorry for the slightly delayed response.

This review wasn't weird at all! It was very nice :)
I'm glad you didn't find it cringe-worthy. Fluffy isn't really my forte and I haven't had a lot of experience writing it, but I had a great time writing this story.

Squibs are so underrated. The only ones we see in the series are Flich and Mrs. Figg. I find the subject of squibs quite fascinating seeing that they kind of thrive in the confluence of the Wizarding and Muggle worlds.

Nick is a great character, but quite a bit slow at love, isn't he? He's great at giving speeches though! I'm so happy that you liked the descriptions :)

I will go right now and fix that spacing. My computer has a nasty habit of glitching up when I try to paste things. Thanks so much for reviewing!


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Review #5, by Leonore Science and Magic

19th November 2013:
Blue v Bronze!

Science! Yay! Respect for scientists. If I couldn't be a witch, I'd like to be able to do that - fit in with muggles, with a normal job, but also watch quidditch and if magic would be really useful for something I could ask a friend.

Nick is so adorable! Perfectly satisfied with being a squib. He wants to understand everything, can't just accept it. Like looking "love" up in the dictionary. And then so quick-thinking, coming up with excuses. "Consider this an imaginary ring..." Cute, quirky, and not afraid to be himself.

I do think Nick failed to look at human biology (which would have been vastly more relevant) and hormones, which is a pretty big oversight, but we'll ignore that as it wouldn't sound so good in the story and might even provide something approaching a (rather less romantic) answer.

Rose is so patient to put up with him. But it's worth it for her because he is such a lovely guy. Well done on a believable and loveable character! She'll be good for him, as she's down-to-earth while he's a dreamer. She'll look after him, while he keeps her amused, and they'll be happy together.

So many strokes of genius. Checking his blood pressure and stomach acidity, even having a full check-up. Schrodinger's equation, Archimedes jumpin gout of the bathtub. Then the fact that she can't simply accept "I ran", and finally the "imaginary ring". And of course the science.

Humour and fluffy romance, combined beautifully. I wouldn't say cringe-worthy - very cute and cliche, something most people avoid writing. A lovely lighthearted read, perfect as I'm not feeling like processing anything serious. Guaranteed to make anyone (except possible Voldemort himself, and maybe Bella) smile.

Thank you!

Leonore

Author's Response: Hey! I'm so glad that you liked the story! I was worried that it might be a bit too fluffy, but your kind words put that thought to rest.

Ooh, I completely forgot about hormones. Let's just say that Nick didn't specialize in biology at all shall we? Haha, I'm glad you found him adorable :)

Rose is like the perfect balance for Nick. She's calm, collected and willing to put up with Nick's crazy antics.

Thank you so so much for this unbelievably wonderful review!!


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