Reading Reviews for The Nightingale's Lament
  
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Remus The Nightingale's Lament

5th January 2014:
Heya!! Perelandra here from the forums. :) Sorry for taking forever to come and review this! However, I'm here now, with coffee ready to tackle this!

Just so you know, I'll be reading and reviewing as I read along. Also, if this review seems a bit...weird, I apologize. I'm on my 3rd cup of coffee...:D

I absolutely love the first paragraph. I mean, you painted the picture in my head with all your description and I love that because I'm a very detailed oriented person.

It made me sad at the end of the first part because I didn't know it was going to be about Colin's death. Waah!

I liked how Susanna is a bit prejudice towards the other houses. It just goes to show that no matter in what house you in, or where you come from, everyone can be a bit prejudice towards the other houses.

Awww, it's sweet that he took her to the Room of Requirements! And the charm bracelet was a nice touch too. Ugh, I have a feeling that this fic is going to make me cry!

This part:

Summer was a glorious time of year, Vicky's favourite time of year broke your flow with repeating 'year' twice. It just didn't seem to fit with the rest of your narrative.

Ok, I think your timeline is a bit off. Fudge confirmed that Voldemort was back at the end of Harry's 5th year, Colin's 4th. He didn't take any OWLs then. It was the year after that, Harry's 6th year, that he did. Colin's in the same year as Ginny, and there was this part where Harry couldn't spend time with her because she was too busy studying. Anyway, perhaps it's the phrasing of things that made it sound like your timeline was a bit off.

I got sucked into the last bit! Ugh such a good, bittersweet story. I mean, I knew where this was going but it's just sad to see it from someone that cared so much for Colin. The heartbreak that the war caused but in the end, I'm glad that Vicky decided to live for Colin. To not let his death go in vain.

Aside from what I pointed out, I have no CC to give you. I really enjoyed this!

Thank you for letting me read this!!

--Rosie

Author's Response: Hi Rosie :)

I love details too, so I enjoyed including all of them in the description. I'm pleased that you liked it too!

Thank you for that suggestion, I'll definitely look at removing the repetition! I looked back at the part you're referring to and I think it's probably the way I phrased it. I was trying to say that over the course of the last year, they'd found out Voldemort was back (the end of Colin's fourth year), then taken their OWLs and Dumbledore was killed in their fifth year. Thank you for pointing it out though, I'll definitely think about how to phrase that better :)

I think that often the only prejudices that appear in stories like these are those between Gryffindor and Slytherin, so I'm glad you liked the appearance of other prejudices here.

I'd have loved to see more of Colin in the books so it was great to write more about him, although kind of bittersweet in a way as well. It was good to develop his character more through this and his relationship with Vicky, and I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it!

Thank you for offering to read this and for your lovely review!

Sian :)


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Review #2, by Secret Santa! The Nightingale's Lament

3rd January 2014:
Hey there!

This was such an amazing story. It all flowed so well and I was sad to see it end even though it was one of the longer one-shots I've ever read :p

It was really interesting getting to know Vicky through all of the little scenes and I loved how they gradually got more and more intense as the story went on. It's weird, I felt like I've known Vicky for a long time just from reading this story. Kind of crazy that she's only an OC!

I also really loved how Colin was in this story. He's a pretty minor character but I always love reading about him :) I wish we could've seen more of him in the books because hearing about a love story with him like this would've been really interesting!

I felt really sorry for Vicky as the war kept progressing. I can't imagine how she must've been feeling when her parents told her that she couldn't go and see Colin. It was sweet that her brother offered to take her though, I can tell they had some sort of connection there :)

Ah, man, reading about his death was really hard :( I knew the whole time that it had to be coming up sooner or later but it doesn't make it any easier. The way she found out that he died was awful, too. Seeing him all lifeless in someone's arms? Whoo, it gives me the chills!

I'm glad by the end of the story she was able to come to terms a little bit with his death. By no means is she over it, but at least she has a little comfort in knowing that Colin wouldn't have wanted her to be moping about it.

Again, this was such a beautiful story. You are such an amazing author!

xx

Author's Response: Hello again, Santa! This is very exciting :D

Vicky does make an extremely minor appearance in the fifth book - I think she gets one or two mentions - but it was really fun writing a whole story about a character we basically knew nothing about, except that she's in Gryffindor, plays Quidditch but prefers Charms Club. Apart from that I could do pretty much what I wanted, and I'm really pleased you feel like you knew her well after reading this!

I really liked including the connection between Vicky and her brother. I think sometimes, even though you can argue with your siblings, they're more likely to help you and understand than your parents might be at times. That's what I was thinking about here when I wrote that, even if she kind of guilted him into it!

I'd have loved to see more of Colin in the books, and even though we didn't, his death always has me in tears. It was horrible writing her finding out, but I'm glad you thought I did it well!

You managed to understand exactly what I was trying to convey with this story, that grief never goes away but it can become bearable eventually - there's almost always a point where people realise they need to start living again. I'm pleased that came across!

Thank you so much for these amazing reviews and my other presents!

Sian :)


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Review #3, by love_is_magic_ The Nightingale's Lament

1st January 2014:
Beautiful.

I love what you made with these characters. Personally, I feel that Colin is always viewed as a child. I think we all forget, myself included, that he's actually only a year younger than Harry. This perception is obviously due to the fact that his largest role is played when he is a first year and, at that time, he is just portrayed as very young. I love that you reached past that and turned him into the person he surely would be at this point in his life :) But enough of my random rambling about Colin... though we all adore him!

This story was hard to read just because it was so sad, but it was sad in an absolutely beautiful way. I grew to love the characters and, in turn, feel their pain. That takes talent... and you have it for sure!

I also love the way that you subtly worked the Weasley's and Harry in there. You also did a really great job of sticking to canon, which I have huge respect for.

Overall, beautiful job. I loved it.

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you for stopping by to review, it's really sweet of you!

I think that's true, actually, it's easy to view Colin as a child because his biggest role is as a first year. He's also written out of the later films, so it's easy for people to forget that he'd have been growing up and was the same age as Ginny. It was really nice to write him as an older, slightly more mature character facing very different issues.

Sad in a beautiful way... that's actually what I was hoping for, so thank you very much! And thank you for all the lovely compliments, they really mean a lot to me, especially that you think I've got talent.

Ah, I'm a major fan of canon so I always try my best to stick to it - I'm glad I did a good job!

Thank you for this lovely review and for taking the time to leave it - I really appreciate it!

Sian :)


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Review #4, by milominderbinder The Nightingale's Lament

26th November 2013:
Hiya! Since you left such a nice review on my Unexpected Voice challenge entry from review tag, I thought I would leave a review on YOUR Unexpected Voice challenge entry for review tag. So here we go!

First of all, I loved the title. It was so abstract at first but I could really see how it fitted into the story in a beautiful way. I love how you linked the patronus, which is a creature based in such happiness, to the 'lament' and sadness of it all. That seemed very deep and touching to me.

The story itself was just heartbreaking, but also lovely in a melancholic kind of way.If I'm honest, I had to google before I started reading to remind me who Vicky Frobisher even was! But you really didn't betray how minor she was in the books in this story, you gave her life and made her extremely read. I was feeling for her so completely by the end, that it actually nearly made me cry.

I've always been super upset by Colin's death in the books! And Vicky really echoed my upset here, and I felt like I was grieving for him along with her.

I absolutely loved the writing style of having it jump back and forth between sections. It really reflected Vicky's trauma and her broken state of mind to have those, broken, fragmented bits of story following each other. And it read beautifully, as we gradually build up the whole picture of what has happened so that it has even more depth to be heartbreaking at the end.

Honestly, I am still a little stunned by what I just read and how much it broke my heart! You are a true master of this style and you really deserved your placing in the challenge. I'm even kind of surprised this didn't win!

Well done :D

~Maia

Author's Response: Hello, Maia!

I was really excited about including the nightingale in this story, because for me it just seemed to fit so well. When people pick up on it and I see that the symbolism has worked in the way I wanted to, I can't help smiling.

Minor characters are probably the reason I write fanfiction, to be honest, and I love taking someone like Vicky (you're not the first person who forgot about her) and creating a life and a story around her.

I cried like a baby throughout the seventh book, and Colin's death was definitely one of the ones that hit me most. I'm glad you could see Vicky's grief reflecting your own here!

This is the first time I've written in this sort of style I think, and I was worried it wouldn't flow very well, so I'm pleased that you think it worked for the story.

Aw, that's such a compliment, but you definitely deserved to win! Thank you!

Sian :)


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Review #5, by SiriusAura92 The Nightingale's Lament

26th November 2013:
Wow! ...That's it really haha!
This is a stunning piece of writing and the whole going back and forth really illustrates the PTSD that Vicky is going through perfectly.

Now, if you excuse me, I'm off to go find the biggest box of tissues I can find and mourn Colin all over again.

10/10!!

Author's Response: This review... wow, thank you so much! I'm really pleased that you thought I showed her pain effectively and while I'm sorry that I made you sad, it also means that I'm doing my job, so I'm kind of not as well, haha!

Thank you for this review!!

Sian :)


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Review #6, by Lululuna The Nightingale's Lament

24th November 2013:
Hola! :) Wow, Sian, this is such a beautiful story and I'm honoured to have it as an entry to my challenge. I'm going to try and mention as many things that I loved as possible although I'll probably miss some and have to PM you about them later. :P Well, where to start...

I love how you turned Vicky, who is a really minor character in the books, into this vivid, lovely girl and her love for Colin. I hate how Colin died in the books and this really gave him a more mature and adult side which I really enjoyed and which made me even more upset that he was killed so wastefully. I enjoyed how they met through the Charms club- I believe in canon that's why Vicky couldn't join the Quidditch team? and I wonder if Colin joined with the goal of spending time with Vicky... I really like that idea. :)

The transitions and fragmented style were really dynamic, I thought, and juxtaposed this image of Vicky as a happy, relatively normal girl at the beginning of the linear storyline with the tragic, hurt young woman she becomes, to her final decision to be strong and live life in Colin's memory. The transitions from present to memory were perfect: from the very first one about Colin's eyes I was hooked, and the little tie ins and triggers for Vicky, like the Daily Prophet, really helped the story to flow naturally. The idea of Vicky's patronus being a nightingale and Colin teaching her how to do it was so lovely and poetic as well, and the title fit the story perfectly in my opinion.

Ah, I hate the fact that they had to be separated for the last year of Colin's life! :( It's really heartbreaking and bittersweet, though of course that would have been a really difficult situation for a lot of people. I enjoyed the scene with Ginny and how it not only tied the story into the canon storyline but showed Vicky that she was not alone in her misery, that others were going through the same thing and that they could support each other and resist together. When Ginny got a little sour with Vicky for saying that she shouldn't be worrying, I think it was such an illuminating and eye-opening moment for her where she decides to be active and not passive which I quite liked.

That being said, the comment about Ginny having her happy ending was really interesting too and really demonstrated Vicky's bitterness, which was a little justified in my opinion. Things do work out so well for Harry and Ginny in the end (well, besides losing a brother and some family friends, but you know...) and I can see why Vicky would feel jealous especially if she didn't know the full story. Her bitterness and anger really kept her imperfect and human.

The paragraph beginning with: Even in the garden, there was too much colour. (I won't quote the whole thing so save on characters, but you know the one) was pure poetry. Really, really beautiful writing here, my dear. I could really picture the scene in my mind and it was beautiful, but also grotesque in the way, as the colours seem to be mocking Vicky by being so bright and reminding her of these terrifying things. Gah, I loved that bit. I'm going to go back and read it again to myself. :)

Ok. I'm back. Another great scene was the movie date, where we got to see the humour between them and how comfortable their relationship was. I loved the little jibe about airplanes- seriously, they need to explain these things in Muggle Studies once and for all, and I think Arthur would agree. :P I think when Colin went on the run, both his and Vicky's Gryffindor traits really came through. Him with watching out for her safety, and her with not caring and wanting to see him anyway. The scene with Vicky's parents was really interesting in casting a light on how a lot of people would have been during the war. They're good people, but prefer to stay out of trouble and danger instead of fight, and in a way leaves the resistance and strength up to the young people.

The scene of Colin being carried into the great hall by Wood was so vivid and heartbreaking. I could feel Vicky crumble and her shock was so powerful, even though I'd already known what was going to happen. It was a beautifully written moment, despite being most likely the worst moment of her life, and I really felt so awful for her through the power of the words.

Oh! Another symbol I really enjoyed was how Vicky's depression and grief took itself out on magic, and how it turned into an evil thing instead of an important part of her own identity. That was a very neat idea and yet made perfect sense to me: since magic is what took Colin away and caused all that suffering, it makes sense that she would see it that way instead of as something which is important to her.

This story just gave me all the feels, what with how Colin had survived for months to die in the battle, and how unfair life and death and war are to the innocents. Everyone knows Harry was a hero but it's important to think of the ordinary heroes who deserve voices and recognition, like Vicky and Colin.

Amazing job with this! :) As you can tell, I loved it: it was a truly beautiful and eloquently written story. I'm sorry if this review is a little scrambled (it's a tad late here) but thanks again for providing me with this incredible entry and the results will be up in the next couple of days! :)

Author's Response: Hello, lovely! I'm so flattered by this review and really sorry that it's taken me so long to respond, I really don't have a proper excuse! *blushes*

I had so much fun writing this and taking the tiny pieces of information that we know about Vicky to create her character. You're right about Charms Club being the reason Vicky couldn't join the Quidditch team, and you're also right that Colin joined to try and spend more time with her. I loved the idea of it and them growing up as I wrote this, and I'm really pleased I was able to give Colin a more mature side in this. His death always makes me really upset, too!

This is the first time I've tried writing something like this, so I was a bit worried about the style not working well. I'm glad you picked up on those little triggers for her memories, because I included them to show that almost everything reminded her of Colin, but also in an attempt to help smooth the transitions. And I'm thrilled you could recognise the changes in Vicky over the course of the story!

It's really horrible that they had to be separated for that last year, it was awful to write that. I was so tempted to make this story AU when I was writing it, purely because I ended up caring about the characters so much that I didn't want to write the horrible ending. Yay, you liked the inclusion of Ginny! You know how much I love minor characters, so I was a bit worried about writing her, but I really liked using her to push Vicky into action.

Exactly! With Vicky's bitterness and jealousy when she thought about Harry and Ginny, I was trying my best to make things real. The two of them did suffer during the war, but Vicky's grief and the fact that she lost Colin kind of take over here and don't let her see things clearly, which is exactly what grief does. I'm so happy she seemed human because of that!

Oh, you're so lovely! I think it's the simplest things that really affect us in grief, and the colour in the garden was one of those - mocking is a brilliant word for it. I'm so pleased you liked the description there!

It was such a change transitioning from the happy memories to the war, when they're beginning to feel the full force of it. War brings out either the best or worst in people, and I like to think it brought out the best in these two - their bravery and determination really shine through here. I was worried people would hate Vicky's parents, but it's exactly how I imagine my parents reacting in that situation.

I was genuinely nearly crying writing about Colin's death. Which is a little ridiculous, because I chose to write about it, but I'm so happy that you thought I wrote Vicky's reaction well!

Haha the bit about magic might have been inspired by a certain brilliant author on the archives ;) I'm so glad that you got feels from this story, because writing it made me ship Colin and Vicky really hard and now I want to write more about them, and the ordinary people who had to fight their way through the war too.

Thank you for such an amazing review, my dear! ♥


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Review #7, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing The Nightingale's Lament

19th November 2013:
Hey lovely,

I had to come and read this and oh my goodness I'm so glad I did! But first let me pick up the shattered pieces of my broken heart! Eugh the feels.

The first section is really beautifully written Sian. Seriously beautiful. Your descriptions of the place Vicky's in are perfect and I can see the place in vivid detail. It doesn't take long to pick up that the war has just happened although I love that you don't just force the information on us. You let us get to that conclusion in our own sweet time which is great.

I really enjoyed the flash backs to the charms club. It gives us a good starting point into the Colin/Vicky relationship. They're clearly not that close - is the charms club a way of Colin getting some time with Vicky I can't help but wonder? I also love the personality you gave Susanna in such a short space of time. I smiled at her reluctance to let the gryffies in!

The way you write Vicky's pain is again perfect. I'm throwing that word around a lot I know but I can't describe your work any other way. You don't go over the top but as I read I can literally feel her pain completely. I can feel my heart breaking as I consider the war and all the horrible things that happened and how it affected people before I'm even a little way into your story.

I get to read some more little cute scenes first though! The flashbacks Vicky has about her and Colin's time together are all perfectly placed and each one has made me smile.

I loved the patronus scene, I feel live knowing peoples patronus and I think it can be a really intimate thing to share with someone, almost like baring a piece of your soul. It's really awesome Colin teaches her that. I also liked that even though it's clear Colin likes her, he still didn't tell her about harry and the DA. He almost did but I feel it signals a big change in him, it shows him more mature that he still keeps it to himself as yet.

Then we get on to Colin actually asking Vicky out on a date and I can tell you that I've got such a goofy smile on my face right now. I love these two as a couple and it's breaking my heart that it's not going to last! Also, perfectly timed interruption from the fat lady there, I loved it!! That felt like such a "book moment" as in, I could have easily been reading that about the trio from JK.

Seriously Sian, my hearts going to burst if I keep reading these moments. The idea of using the room of requirement for a picnic is lovely and so thoughtful of Colin. Your making me love him more and more with each section I read. The present is also a really lovely idea and from the way you have portrayed Colin thus far I can see him thinking about such a thoughtful gift for her. And then he tells her he loves her! I honestly want to stop reading here and add my own 'and they all lived happily ever after' but I can't, I need to keep going.

I thought it was great that, even though this story isn't about Colin when he was younger, you still managed to get a little reference in there. It only emphasises my earlier point though that your showing a much older and mature Colin and doing it very well!

You then manage to turn the flashbacks into a much darker presence in the story. The muggle born registration commission was obviously coming and we know Colin has to go on the run. I think you dealt with her parents reaction in the best way possible, it's hard but I can imagine parents acting any other way. Her brother is her one escape though and again I think it's true to your characters that Vicky played the fiancťe card to her brother.

The scene with ginny was very well placed. The girls have somehow in common and being able to do something Colin would have must be a source of comfort for Vicky and ginny knows it. It's also kind of nice to have some reference to harry and ginny in there.

The more I read the tougher it's getting. The reunion in the great hall between the two of them is so lovely and all I want to do is wish it could last. The build up to her seeing Colin in Oliver's arms is really hard to read Sian but you've done an amazing job of hooking us completely no matter how much it pulls at our heart strings.

The last section is hard. Having never gone through something like this it's almost impossible to imagine the pain but the hallow feeling you give Vicky just seems fitting.

Wow. I'm completely blown away by the beauty of this piece. It's fantastically written and has made me both giggle and cry. Vicky Frobisher isn't well known but the few facts we do know you've stuck too. You've written Colin in a light that not many do and I love it more than anything. The relationship between Vicky and Colin is perfection and this will forever be my head canon now! You've written a better love story in this one shot than some published authors can do over many books. Sian this is a fantastic one shot, you should be seriously proud. I didn't notice any spelling or grammar so good job on your editing!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hi Lauren! This is such a mammoth review that it's taken me a while to figure out how to respond. Thank you though, lovely! ♥

I'm really happy you liked the description at the beginning! I wanted to create a more serene background that would contrast with what Vicky's feeling after losing Colin.

This is the first time I've ever really played about with flashbacks and things like that - it was a bit of an experiment but I'm really glad you thought it worked. I loved building up that cute relationship before things started turning horrible. The Charms Club was indeed a way for Colin to spend time with Vicky! Aw, I'm so pleased that you liked the Patronus scene! I get what you mean about baring a bit of your soul, and I think it is quite a private thing.

I'm so pleased that you picked up on the fact that Colin's more mature here. I like to think that he might have told her about the DA later on, but he's not going to blurt out that information straight away. I really wanted to portray him as a more mature character here - he's still a kid, but older than we saw him in most of the books and films, and he's being forced to grow up quicker because of the war.

You're not the only one who wanted to leave it at the happy moments and add in a 'happily ever after'. It was so hard to go on and write about it, but things had to get darker with the war getting worse. I hated writing about Vicky's parents, but really I think most people would have reacted that way during the war, trying to keep their families safe. Vicky was so desperate that she had to play the fiancee card, so I'm pleased that you think that was in character.

I was a bit nervous about including Ginny, but I think it was good for Vicky to find someone who had something in common with her, and I liked the idea of Vicky doing something to fight the people who were persecuting Colin and others.

Aw, I'm glad you liked the reunion - I wish it could last as well! Writing her finding out about Colin was really sad, but I'm glad that I made you feel something about them too, because that means I'm doing something right!

This review is just amazing, Lauren! Ah I'm really pleased you love Vicky and Colin because they're now a ship in my head canon too! Wow, that's an amazing compliment! Thank you so, so much!

Sian :)


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Review #8, by DumbledoresArmyOfOne The Nightingale's Lament

18th November 2013:
Oh my goodness Sian. How is this so beautiful?

I'll admit to never having heard of Vicky Frobisher before I read this story, but now I'm so intimately introduced to her story, to her pain and everything she's ever felt or fought for that it's hard to remember that this beautiful story was only just introduced to me.

There are so many beautiful lines in here that I'm not sure where to start.

I think that this paragraph was my favourite though:
Shivering again, Vicky wrapped her cardigan tighter around her thin body again. It hung off her in folds, like wrinkly skin on an old woman. Vicky felt old. It seemed to her that the emotions that had taken hold of her could only be a lifetimeís worth, could only be experienced by someone who had lived many years and seen many things. Her age felt wrong, as if the numbers didnít match the pain.

I think you perfectly reflect the true tragedy of the war: forcing these kids, they really are only children, to grow up so fast. To experience grief that's to big to fit them. The imagery of the old woman overlaid on Vicky is also really beautiful.

The patronuses are so perfect! I love the repeated imagery of the nightingale - I see it in Vicky, a sort of melancholy songbird, and I think you chose perfectly for both of them.

Going back to the aging bit, I really appreciate how you didn't belittle Colin and Vicky's love just because they're young. In fact, you did the opposite. I can tell that there is a maturity in them that probably wouldn't have been there in other circumstances, and I really liked how you reflected that in every part of their life: love, school, friendships, family, grief - they are all older than their years.

Finally, I think you dealt with grief in a very convincing way. There are scars that don't heal, and even though your ending was lighter, you never took away from the grief that they are all feeling - Vicky is still crumbling and broken, it's just that she is learning to bear the unbearable.

I've gone on quite a long time, and I really don't have much else to offer, so I'll just end by saying I loved this one shot, I loved the seamless flow of past to present and pretty much every word that makes up this story is exactly the right word.

Really, really well done!
~Gilly

Author's Response: Hi Gilly! Sorry for taking so long to respond to this, RL overwhelmed me!

I love taking minor characters and crafting a story about them, and to know that I've managed to create a character from Vicky that you feel like you know and actually feel something about means so much to me. It means my writing is doing its job :)

Ah, I'm so happy you picked up on that! These kids are really going through something that they should never have to face, and even though they may fight in a war and handle challenges like that, the emotions can be completely overwhelming for them, to the point they don't know how to cope. I was hoping someone would pick up on the idea of the old woman overlaid onto Vicky, so you've made me really happy!

I think it's hard to deal with teenage love in the right way, and normally it's something I avoid writing about because of that. Personally I don't like those stories where everyone ends up with their school boyfriend/girlfriend, because I don't think those portrayals are very realistic - but at the same time, that's not to say teenagers can't be in love, and experiencing the same things adults feel. I think the war, for these two, would have made them more mature, and maybe their love meant a little more because of that, but I'm really pleased that you thought I dealt with their relationship well!

Your interpretation of the ending is exactly how I intended it - unfortunately, grief is an emotion that never goes away completely, not really. It eases over time, and I think that for all people who are grieving there's a point when they realise they have to begin living again, so I'm pleased I managed to convey that here.

Thank you so much for this wonderful review, Gilly! ♥


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Review #9, by marauderfan The Nightingale's Lament

18th November 2013:
Oh my goodness. What did I just read? I swear, my heart is broken into tiny little pieces right now, just like Vicky's. Your writing is so beautiful and poignant that I was so wrapped up in the story and felt the pain Vicky felt.

This is such a wonderful piece for so many reasons. At first, I didn't even know who Vicky Frobisher was because I couldn't remember her from the books (had to look it up). But the fact that you can take a name mentioned once or twice and weave this captivating piece of writing, is just amazing.

I really liked the juxtaposition of Vicky sitting in the garden watching leaves fall, and the story of her history with Colin until he fell (like a leaf - it's really poetic the way you arranged that). What struck me most about the flow of the piece was how you wove together Vicky's intense grief with descriptions of a beautiful garden and sunshine. For some reason that just makes it sadder, how the world around Vicky is beautiful but she can't appreciate it in the wake of what's happened to her.

I love Colin and Vicky together - they were perfect, which made it all the more heart rending when Colin died at the end. You did a really wonderful job of capturing the feeling of life during war and all the sadness and fear and how much it splits people apart. I liked the appearance of Ginny in the story as well, and Vicky's jealousy of her at the end was completely understandable and justified.

Best of luck in the challenge (and I mean that, even though I'm attempting to compete against you lol). Your story really is stunning and you should be so proud of yourself for writing it!

Kristin

Author's Response: Hi Kristin! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to reply to this review, I've been overwhelmed by RL for a while. I hope you don't think I don't appreciate it, because I do!

I love taking minor characters and expanding them into something much more, so I'm really happy that you thought I managed that here. The fact that you ended up feeling something for her after reading this makes me smile so much - it means that I'm doing my job as a writer!

The fact that this flowed well is really reassuring, because it was one of my major worries. With the present sections, I wanted to create a really natural setting for her and I'm pleased you like the way that was juxtaposed against a darker background of grief and pain. It's sad, but I think that's how grief works, sometimes - it takes the joy and beauty out of life for you, and I wanted to show that here.

Yay, I'm so happy that you love Colin and Vicky together! After writing this they've kind of become part of my head canon, so to know that other people liked them together means a lot. I'm not big on writing main canon characters, so Ginny was a bit scary for me, but I felt like Vicky's jealousy of her at the end was really important.

Thank you so much for this fantastic review - it really means a lot!

Sian :)


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Review #10, by randomwriter The Nightingale's Lament

18th November 2013:
Sian :)
I wasn't supposed to be reading anything today. I'd set my time aside to catch up some other stuff, but I simply couldn't resist this.

All my efforts at trying something as petty as exercising a bit of self control have gone in vain, and I am sobbing uncontrollably now. This is definitely going to my favourites.

I finished reading this a while ago. Once it ended, I was overcome with the sort of feeling that renders you helpless. I really didn't know what to do with myself. Was I Vicky? Well, I don't know. That's what I was asking myself. That's how well you delivered this one. I felt like I was her.

I promise you. I just stared at this plain wall in front of my face for at least fifteen minutes, thinking. It took e fifteen minutes to feel confident enough to type out a coherent review, and I'm doubting that now! AND, oh my god, I love that you made me think. I LOVE it so much. Not many stories have that ability. Yours certainly does. It demands the reader's attention.

I don't know what to say, Sian. If I told you that it's perfect, I probably wouldn't be doing it any justice. That's how amazing it is. I don't know how your brain works, but it's amazing. Simply beautiful, honestly! I'm so jealous of your abilities.

(Note-I still haven't stopped crying. In fact, I'm a wreck.)

Okay. I suddenly LOVE Vicky Frobisher now. And I think that she belongs with Colin. And I can't fathom the possibility of them being apart. It's not right. Vicky Frobisher and Colin Creevey Would you believe that?

I love how you wrote them. There is this sense of comfort and ease and I found that very endearing. It really put a smile on my face. All their conversations, the dialogue and everything was lovely! They sort of... well, fit, you know. So SO well. And you have a firm handle on human emotion. Everything you described was spot on, I think. Their relationship was very nicely done!

I love how you took Vicky, a character about whom we hardly have any information, and gave us THIS. It's splendid. I wouldn't know where to start and I'd probably have mixed up Quidditch and Charms in one clumsy one-shot. THIS is on a different level. I don't know how you did this, but it's magic.

I love that you brought in a reference to Harry and Ginny. It fit well into the story, especially towards the end. Raw human emotion-jealousy- is a very natural reaction to such a situation and I think it really made a difference, emotionally.

Another thing I absolutely adored was how you juxtaposed the present with her memories from the past. But more than that, I love how you showed that everything- and I mean literally every single thing- reminded her of Colin or of memories about him. You weaved the past into the present really well. You connected them together with subtle references to things like colour. I thought it was really clever and showed that this piece is of a remarkably high quality.

Another thing I love (Well, I might as well start quoting the entire thing, but I'll keep it generic) was the flow. It was easy to read and it really didn't feel like it was 7000+ words long. You apologised for it being too long. That, I have a problem with. I felt that it was too short. I could read about Vicky and Colin forever! I can just sit here and read and read and read. Seriously.

Also, your descriptions. Out of this world! WOW. They were so vivid and I really liked how I could visualize every single thing. And the comparisons and connections with the different colours was also a really nice addition, as I mentioned. I think that it's right up there, in terms of description. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Only issue I had was that since you were writing about Colin, I expected his love for photography and his camera to play a slightly greater role. I know that it wasn't your focus here, but maybe Vicky could fondly add how she loved that there was always a camera hanging on his neck or something? That, of course, is just a poor example, but I thought that one or two mentions about his camera would certainly solidify the already strong characterisation and make it irrefutable. Apart from that, there were a few capitalisations and commas that you missed, but it seems trivial to pick on such things. I only noticed them when I re-read it!

OH, and I don't want to forget! The refrain (I know that it wasn't one technically, but still) of the nightingale and strong presence of the bird in different forms throughout this was a very nice touch. It was interesting and added to the emotional connect. The title of this was very apt, by the way!

I'm just starting to get a grip on myself after having a good cry about the unfairness of this. Sian, you're guilty of doing this to me, and countless others, I'm sure.

There was something about the way it transitioned seamlessly from present to past, something about its visceral nature that just struck me.

Some stories, they touch your heart. This one grabbed mine. I'm going to favourite it and commit emotional suicide by re-reading it many more times. So, expect a river of tears and feels. And lots and lots of love directed towards your lovely story! It's beautiful. And I can't think of anything to more accurately say it. Colin and Vicky forever.

Love
Adi *sob* *hug* *squishes*

P.S- Kiana! Damn you for sneaking in the first review. And since it's taken me so long to type this out (and stare at the wall), damn whoever else got here before me :P

And Sian. :) (Hope I didn't bore you with this. It's incredibly long!)
*sigh*

Author's Response: Adi! I'm sorry I've taken so long to respond to this and other reviews, but I hope you know that I still really appreciate this. As well as being overwhelmed by RL, it's taken me this long to form a coherent review. Just... thank you. It means so much.

Thank you for the favourite, as well! ♥ This review has just showered me in compliments and made my day many times over. Vicky kind of took over and wrote herself, so the fact you felt that means an incredible amount. I really want to touch people with my writing, so to hear I've achieved that is amazing.

This response is just going to be a long list of thank yous - I can't say it enough. To hear you love this and think it's perfect is the biggest compliment I could receive on my writing. Thank you!

Since Vicky and Colin are now a pairing in my head canon, I might be secretly thrilled you're shipping them... I really didn't want the moments in their relationship to seem forced, so saying I wrote them well really means so much.

Is it bad if I say I'm glad I made you cry? Probably, but I can't help smiling at that fact! ♥

You already know I love minor characters, but I had so much fun crafting a character for Vicky! She's barely mentioned in the books so I had a lot of freedom; the fact she was still able to touch you makes me really happy.

I'm always a bit worried about writing main canon characters, but I felt like including Ginny was important so that I could include the jealousy later on. It's not one of the nicest aspects of grief to focus on (not that any of it is) but I felt like it was important to include it, because it's very real and natural.

The fact that it flowed is very reassuring, because I was worried the transitions and connections would seem awkward and clumsy. Colin was so much a part of her life that she couldn't avoid being reminded of him, and I'm glad I conveyed that.

I wrote most of this in a day, and the words just kept flowing, so I was worried it would bore people by being too long. I'm glad it didn't!

Thank you for those suggestions! I'll definitely check for typos and see where I can improve on that aspect of Colin's characterisation!

In literature, the nightingale often represents connections between love and death, so it seemed perfect to include. I'm pleased the repetition worked and it tied in with the title - it just seemed to fit for me!

I don't think you could give me any higher compliment than saying this touched your heart. It means so much to me and I can't thank you enough for this brilliant review!

Thank you! ♥


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Review #11, by MissesWeasley123 The Nightingale's Lament

18th November 2013:
*pokes Kiana* How dare she be first review lol.

AND DUDE.

:'(

Why is this so good, because now I'm the one lamenting... -.-

Firstly, never apologize for it being too long, like I said, it's too short. I am uncontrollably shipping Vicky and Colin.

So... what am I supposed to say? *is confused* I... I just can't. There's too many emotions, and I absolutely hate that I love this piece. It's one of those gut wrenching painful pieces that you absolutely adore, but it's like, "Why so cruel..."

I've never, not once seen a Vicky story. Ever. So it was obviously different... but so... unqiue. I am struggling for words to describe this beauty.

Like Juliet said, a rose can be called any other name and it would still smell just as sweet. That is just like this piece. I could call it trash lol, but it would still be perfect. I'll label this as perfection though.

Her pain was so evident, and you managed to make the emotion flow and pour into my heart and I ached so badly. This was so sad. I just I can't even, just like, ugh no.

I got lost into the love and angst and for me, this story was absolutely amazing. I wish this review was longer but it would get very repetitive so I'll just shut up here now.

Flawless, Sian.

Author's Response: Nadia! *tackles*

You're shipping Vicky and Colin? That's awesome! I can't deny that I was hoping some people might start when I wrote this ;) But now I want to write more about them, and I don't have time!

I've never seen a Vicky story either, which is kind of why I wanted to write one! You're so sweet with this review, and I'm genuinely blushing right now! I'm so glad that I managed to convey her pain in a way that made you feel it as well, even though I don't like making people sad (except it means that I wrote it well, so I kind of do :P). I don't know how to reply to this except for saying thank you so much and sorry that I've taken so long to respond!

Thank you! ♥

Sian :)


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Review #12, by patronus_charm The Nightingale's Lament

18th November 2013:
Ah and stories like these about Colin are the biggest reason why Iím angry he was axed from the latest films in place of a person who wasnít even created by JK. Gah, I swear every story about him leaves me all feelsy and wanting to cry and this is no exception! Sian what are you trying to do to me?

I loved the spilt perspective as it just created this wonderful effect of impending doom which made me enjoy the brighter moments of their relationship even more because I knew for each of those we would be greeted by Vickyís grief for Colin which would only continue to grow and grow. Saying that, my favourite sections were the short ones where Vicky was in the present as that just had this melancholy air about it which is so hard to capture but you did it brilliantly!

The way you tied it all into canon with how Vicky was part of Charms Club, the DA and Ginny reinstating it was a really great thing to do. It sort of made me want to go and re-read the books to go and see if I can spot Vicky or Colin in those places because you put so much emphasis on it, as if their story could be the HP one that I just wanted to make sure JK didnít write about them instead :P

Gah, Vicky and Colin were just so cute too! ♥ From the moment they did the patronus, to him asking her to Hogsmeade, it being Vickyís birthday and all the I love yous! I was just gushing away happily. It really does bring into the question the fairness of it all, because Colin really had no part to play in it yet he went and sacrificed himself for the war when he could have lived happily ever after. I was just crying at that part. I think the bit which made it was how Vicky was jealous of Ginny in a way for having Harry and so few people actually touch upon that emotion when itís one of the most common so the inclusion of that was really great.

The backstory to Vickyís family was also really enjoyable! In a way, I liked her parentís perspective when it came to the Muggle-Born Registration Commission as it was the most practical and therefore realistic but then it made it even more gut wrenching for Vicky and I and I was there throughout when she was suffering away.

I canít even comment on the last few sections on the battle, funeral and how Vicky was coping because itís all too sad! This is why I need to stop reading stories focused on either the battle or Marauders years because they go and make me want to eat the equivalent of how much pain I feel in chocolate which probably isnít a good idea.

Anyhow, this was a really fantastic one-shot Sian! ♥

-Kiana

Author's Response: Kiana! I'm trying to catch up with these responses on my break from doing all my work, and I'm sorry that I haven't managed to reply to this before - your review still meant a lot to me!

I'm so pleased that you thought the split perspective worked for this! I wrote this story in a really weird order because of the time I had to write it in, so I wasn't sure whether it would work properly - the fact that you could sense the melancholia in the present sections with Vicky makes me really happy!

Yay, you picked up on the links to canon! I don't know what really made me think of Vicky as a character for this but once I got the idea for her and Colin together I had to write it, and that meant including the little canon details that we have about her, which were hard to find when I don't have access to the books!

I love Vicky and Colin so much! ♥ I'm so happy you like them, because writing this has made me kind of ship them far too hard for a pairing I invented... It was just so unfair and I was writing this for hours and getting so upset, I was tempted to make this AU so Colin didn't actually have to die... I'm pleased you liked Ginny's appearance though, and the way that I dealt with Vicky's grief. I wanted to make it as realistic as possible, and I don't think that grief makes people have the nicest thoughts!

I felt so horrible, writing about Vicky's family and their reaction to the Commission! But I wanted to try and make this as realistic as possible, so I'm glad that it worked!

Aw, I'm sorry (but not really) for making you sad! Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and leave such a lovely review, Kiana! ♥

Sian :)


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