Reading Reviews for Fluorescent Adolescent
  
438 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Clary staring into space

12th July 2016:
OMG!!!, So Love this chapter!. I love the emotion and the reality mixed w/ proper english grammar and vocab into this entire fanfic. Please, please, please Update soon!! I mean it is summer break after all.

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Review #2, by medea33 crushed moon extract

15th June 2016:
I'm laughing so much at the "omg why am I not on the Ravenclaw quidditch team", Oscar I love you I need him in my life!! I'm crazy about this fanfiction already, my friend Harriet told me to read it and I wasn't too sure because oc's aren't really my thing but this is such a lively idea full of characters with actual spunk like I actually want to know these people and I really dig the trio of effy Oscar and aspen. Lovely name choices too and you've picked the perfect model for effy! Just how I picture her. What a wonderful combination of banter, character, potential romance and genuinely good environmental descriptions this chapter was. I loved how as well the beef between effy and James was different to how most fanfictions write it. It's "my hands" not these, what a clever witty and different approach to their initial fight you have made, not only does it come in conjunction to effys Ravenclaw nature but it also reveals to me that as gorgeous as he is, James potter is also flawed and that is the sounds of an amazing story to come.
Thoroughly enjoyed reading this I will try to leave a review on every few chapters!!

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Review #3, by Harrys staring into space

15th June 2016:
This story is like forgotten summer nights and youth. It makes me so happy and really makes me wish I was there in effys world living with her. I stumbled upon this yesterday and will certainly recommend it to my friends. What a wonderful concept idea and creation of a mood that is so light yet moving. Hope you are well and you continue to write this lovely piece of writing, truly something to be proud of and cherish.

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Review #4, by radiator staring into space

19th May 2016:
I just fall in love Jeffy more and more Every chapter
The way he acknowledges her quidditch really makes me happy I hope that they can resolve things in the next chapter
Once again you handle delicate issues like rape and body confidence and how girls should embrace any type of clothing so well
Can't wait for an update hope you're well

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Review #5, by J'amie staring into space

19th May 2016:
Please write more soon. I'm too invested in this story now.

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Review #6, by That_Chick staring into space

4th April 2016:
Oh my God! This is literally the best fic that I have ever read - and I literally spend all my time reading fanfictions - so please update. Please, please, please! Or I might just die!!!

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Review #7, by Wolfie staring into space

4th April 2016:
Oh the end was just perfect! I can't wait to see what you will do next please update soon!!

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Review #8, by Dobbyisfree staring into space

27th March 2016:
You are such a great writer. This is probably my favorite story of all time. Can't wait for you to update!

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Review #9, by nott theodore staring into space

6th March 2016:
Wow.

I was definitely not expecting the ending and that massive twist. I'll talk more about that later but I just wanted to say you did a really good job writing such an intense and difficult subject and it takes a lot to include something like this in the story.

It's really sweet to see Effy's friends gathering around her when she's struggling with the break-up - or break - with James. It's obvious to them that she's hurting, no matter how hard she tries to hide it, and it takes good friends to be there for her and want to let her talk about it if she needs it. The scene between her and Mikey was really sweet, too. I'm not sure that he doesn't like her as more than friends, but I think he was just really sweet and a good friend here when she needed him and I'm glad there was someone there for Effy.

I'm really glad that Ravenclaw won the Quidditch match, too! Go Effy! (As long as they don't bat Gryffindor, which I'm sure they will do, but... :P)

The party was so difficult to read, particularly with Jasmine. I can't say much more about it except that I really, really hope that she's okay and I'm so glad she has friends who care about her and went after her, and that they're going to be there for her when she wakes up and starts to realise what has happened. Well done again for writing the topic so sensitively - and I'm looking forward to the next update now I'm caught up!

Sian :)
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Review #10, by nott theodore the owlery

6th March 2016:
Oh my goodness, I honestly loved that last little detail about the t-shirt - it fits in with James's character so well and it made me laugh even though that part was quite sad.

I should have known that things weren't going to end well for Effy and James with everything that happened in the last chapter - it was almost too happy for them, to be honest. I wasn't sure that I was expecting it to unravel so quickly, but it honestly seems like a really difficult relationship for the two of them to keep going when there's so much miscommunication between them and they don't get to see each other very often. Even though they've opened up a bit about certain things, I still feel like neither of them - James especially - are ready to let someone else in entirely and that's not exactly going to work for them to have a proper relationship.

Having said that, I'm so glad that Effy is sticking to her guns here and she's not just rolling over and doing everything that James wants her to. It infuriates me so much when I read characters doing that because I can't agree with it at all and it's sad to think that some girls do that. Even so, it's really clear how much James means to her at the end.

I wonder if he has actually changed, to be honest - it's so easy to say that and obviously part of me wants him to have, but I think it's going to take a lot for her to be able to trust him properly. I'm looking forward to seeing where Louis and Aspen goes too!

Sian :)
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Review #11, by nott theodore unicorn blood

6th March 2016:
Wow, this was an action-packed chapter, I'm not sure I even know where to start with this review to be honest!

I really loved the start with the way that Scorpius and Rose aren't actually that big gossip anymore because of Effy and James. Again, it just shows how quickly rumours can spread and change at schools and, even though it's been a few years now since I was at school, it was easy to relate to and made me laugh.

Again - and sorry if I'm boring you by saying this - I love your characters. They're just so vivid and realistic and I love reading about them because you create such a brilliant cast. Even if they don't all appear in one chapter, I'm pretty much guaranteed to like whoever is in the chapter, which is great.

Yay, Rose and Effy are talking again! I'm not sure Rose was really justified in being so mean to Effy last time but considering she is Aspen's best friend it was probably understandable that she was lashing out and upset over what happened.

Effy figured out her Patronus too! It's so great to see her progressing like that and improving, it's a great reminder that she's still at school and learning and growing and this story isn't just a romance or her having fun with her friends. You manage to keep all the different plots going really well.

Aw, poor Albus, following Poppy around only to get a drink dumped on him :P I feel like that's going to happen eventually, but it's going to be good for him not to get his own way easily the whole time!

And Effy and James were really sweet at the end of this chapter - I really liked seeing how caring he was and that he wanted to make sure she was making the right decision. Although now I'm worried that something really bad is going to happen...

Sian :)
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Review #12, by nott theodore the usual atticus

6th March 2016:
Honestly, I don't mention it in every review because that would probably get a little repetitive and boring for you, but I love how entertaining and funny this story is. I don't know how you manage it, because I really can't write humour very well, but every single one of your chapters is filled with so much humour and so many brilliant lines that make me stop and chuckle as I read this.

Ah, so James and Effy are official! Considering their history and how long it's taken them to get here, I'm not sure how long this is going to last, to be honest, but for now I'm glad that they're together and both of them seem happy with it. I hope they can keep it up and not have silly arguments about things they disagree on rather than talking it through like adults.

Jasmine didn't have a lot of time in this chapter but when she was there she was great - I think she's actually becoming one of my favourite characters! It'd be great to see more of her in the future too.

Haha, it's been a while waiting for Scorpius and Rose to get together, but I really liked the way that you changed round the narrative structure a bit here in the chapter to show the way that the rumours spread so quickly in Hogwarts. It's so true of how quickly rumours do spread at school and it made me laugh.

I'm curious about what's happening with Mikey, too - it seems like maybe he's got feelings for Effy? I'm not sure, I don't want him to be upset but I don't think Effy thinks of him that way at all...

Sian :)
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Review #13, by nott theodore albus! albus! albus!

6th March 2016:
Yay! I'm so glad that things are starting to work out with James and Effy and they're actually starting to be honest with each other, because it gives me some hope that there might be a future for them if they can keep on like this, but I still can't help wondering if something's going to go wrong still and get in the way. You have been keeping us on a rollercoaster with the two of them...

I'm glad that Aspen is feeling better and deciding to get back out there and date. She didn't deserve to be upset for ages and I think in the long run her and Scorpius as just friends is going to work much better for both of them.

Aha, I loved seeing Albus fancying Poppy! It's actually kind of what I predicted, haha - Poppy being so mad that someone had told Albus she fancied him worked in her favour because it meant she was prepared when he decided to try some 'flirty banter' with her (which is so awkward and cringey and I'm not surprised she rejected it). And now she's got the upper hand because she hasn't given into Albus like all the other girls have, so I can definitely see them making a cute couple in the long-run.

It was so nice to see James opening up and being much more sensitive and caring towards Effy, even if it was mixed in with a load of the arrogance that seems to characterise him. I hope that they keep on like this :)

Sian :)
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Review #14, by nott theodore labradors, hedgehogs

6th March 2016:
Hola!

Actually, I really love the fact that every chapter isn't just focused entirely around Effy and James, even though I love reading the scenes between them as well. It's so refreshing to read a story where the protagonist still has a life outside of her relationship/romance and wants to do other things and have her own friendships.

Another thing I really enjoy about this story is that you put the effort into the little details about their classwork and different things like that which make the story seem more realistic. I know that we get a lot of information about Patronuses in the books (probably more than most other spells) but I really liked seeing them learn to cast the charm themselves here and want to improve. It was nice in a way to see that Effy couldn't do it straight away, too - I swear that it's so common for OCs to be perfect and great at something. I'm curious to find out what her Patronus is going to be!

Ah, Scorpius was definitely thinking about Rose when he conjured the Patronus! At least he did the right thing when he realised that he'd been thinking about her and didn't keep stringing Aspen along, and I'm glad that they want to stay friends. I'm so curious about what might happen between Rose and Scorpius too now.

Again, I really loved reading all the different conversations between the different characters because you just portray the dynamics of friendships so well. I like getting to meet some of the new characters that we've not really seen before as well.

Ah, Albus has his eye on someone! I hope that she turns out to be good for him and maybe even holds out on him a bit longer than most other girls seem to, as well!

Sian :)
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Review #15, by nott theodore wild horses, part.2

6th March 2016:
Hi again!

Ah, I knew that Effy was probably going to end up making some bad decisions during this party, and I was right. Then again, excessive alcohol consumption doesn't always make for the best ideas anyway :P and I'm not sure that hers and James's relationship is exactly well balanced or thought-out (at least, so far) so it's hardly surprising that Effy decided that she was going to try and make James jealous by kissing other guys after she heard rumours about him doing things with other girls. I'm glad she didn't do anything else, though - it wouldn't have been for the right reasons at all.

I love Jasmine though! She only came in as a kind of minor character, it seemed, and I'm really excited that we're getting to see a lot more of her now. She's so cool and I can imagine her and Effy ending up as really good friends in this story. I hope we get to see more of her.

FINALLY! Some honesty from James! I feel like they're not going to get anywhere unless they're honest with each other so it's really a relief to see them being honest and admitting feelings!

Sian :)
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Review #16, by nott theodore wild horses

6th March 2016:
Hi again!

I really liked the descriptions at the beginning of this chapter - that's another thing I keep meaning to mention, but I love the way that you manage to balance some really great descriptions with the humour and dialogue that you've got going in this. It's such a well-rounded and balanced story and I really enjoy reading your writing.

The Prophet party made me laugh so much, though - I could relate to it really easily, especially when Effy and Jack were trying to work out who all the people they were being introduced to were and having to talk to them. It's always a really awkward age when people start to talk to you like adults but you don't really know what you're doing, and so it's always awkward in those situations. And I come from a massive family so at family events I'm always trying to work out who extended family members are when they introduce themselves to me :P

I'm still not sure how to feel about James and Effy, and I can understand that she's so drawn to him but I still feel like he needs to do something more to make it up to her.

Hahaha, I couldn't help but laugh a lot at the idea of the boys trying to get Scorpius to join them on their camping trip and then completely messing it up - even though it seemed really dangerous. Of course they'd get Effy to come and help them sort their mess out :P

And uh-oh... I'm not sure how this party is going to go, and I have a feeling that it's not going to end very well...

Sian :)
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Review #17, by nott theodore some aloe vera?

6th March 2016:
Ah dear, this chapter is yet another example of how you're going to spend the rest of this novel playing around with our feelings, I suspect. And another example of why I can't decide whether or not I actually like James, despite the fact that I kind of want him and Effy to get together, which is unusual for a novel that I'm this invested in. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens in the rest of the story, though, and really hoping that James grows up a bit...

Anyway, I loved the idea of Romilda as an aunty that just pops up every now and then and doesn't quite remember all the things she's meant to. She was actually really likeable here - I always imagined that she'd grow up quite a lot after the war and things that happened around then, and I like the way she kind of tempers Effy's mum as well.

The discussion about the war kept going through the chapter, and it's making me seriously wonder whether something serious is going to happen - especially with Effy's brother old enough to be conscripted if that were the case, because that could have a real impact on her life. I'm glad you didn't just abandon it after one chapter :)

I honestly love Oscar. He's so completely ridiculously but also so hilarious at the same time. He's so disdainful for normal people which normally really irritates me, but I can't help loving him here.

The date was really cute - to begin with. I liked the way that James took her somewhere a bit more unusual, even though it got crashed by his friends.

The ending, though... ugh. James has some really strong opinions, as Effy says, and the problem is that he thinks he's right about everything and doesn't even seem willing to consider an alternative point of view. Feminism is still such an important issue but the topic still gets that reaction nowadays from people I know. But I honestly don't think I could go out with someone who was so happy to undermine me...

Sian :)
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Review #18, by nott theodore tattered velvet carpeting

6th March 2016:
Ooh, I actually really liked the opening and the discussion of the possible war! I've don't think I've ever read about possibilities of international wizarding wars before in fanfiction, but it's really fascinating. From a British reader's perspective, the parallels that you can draw with Muggle attitudes to war from the different countries, it was really interesting to see again. I hope they don't go to war but that could be a really interesting plot twist to the story, too.

The conversations between the friends on the train were really great - I know that I keep saying it and you're probably going to get bored of it, but I do love how realistic and believable the dynamics between the characters are in this story!

Ah, and James and Effy again! I'm looking forward to this date, although part of me can't help suspecting that it's going to go wrong... But I love the chemistry between them.

It's only a tiny detail, but again I loved the way that Jasmine's from a Muslim family and there's some sort of representation in this story. It's something I feel is so important and I love seeing it in stories like this one.

Effy's family are really interesting and I feel like they'll be quite entertaining to read more about over the Christmas holidays!

Sian :)
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Review #19, by nott theodore it's cold outside

6th March 2016:
Oh dear, I can see that you're going to take us on a complete rollercoaster with James and Effy in this story. I mean, just in this chapter there were so many ups and downs and they were together and not and I'm so confused :P

The opening of this chapter was really cute! I loved the way that James took Effy somewhere different and spent some time just with her, and then the way he spoke to the kid, Harry, and his mum was really sweet too. I can understand him not wanting to own up to his family connections all the time, but it was really sweet that he was so complimentary about his dad anyway. I think we got to see a different side of him there and it's so obvious that there's chemistry between them.

Ugh - how can he ask her to give up Quidditch, though? That's just such a stupid thing to do, and really not okay - I honestly can't decide if I like James or not at the moment, because even though he's got a really sweet side, I still feel like there's an arrogance about him that might not make him a great boyfriend - at least, compared to Albus. Anyway, I completely agree with Effy leaving him on that.

But even so, there's a lot of chemistry between them and I feel like if the two of them work out how to act around each other eventually, they'll be able to work it out. We'll see, I guess. I liked the way the final scene mirrored the scene when Effy was in hospital, too, and that you're not ignoring some of the prejudices.

Sian :)
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Review #20, by nott theodore unbroken and wild

6th March 2016:
Ah, you really can't go wrong with a good Mean Girls reference, can you? Or a Dirty Dancing reference either, for that matter!

Oscar is so awesome - I love how sassy he is and how much he teases Aspen and Effy. He actually really reminds me of one of my friends, so every line I read of Oscar's is actually in my friend's voice, haha. And the dynamic between the three of them is great - I've said it before, but I really do love the way that you write the relationships between the characters here. The interactions all just seem so believable and real.

I like the way that you're introducing us to more and more characters in Effy's year. There were quite a few at the start as it was, but now the ones that we're getting to see are easier to handle as we know the others already. Jasmine seems really nice.

The description of the Gryffindor common room really made me laugh, especially with the way that everyone seemed so ready for a party. What is James doing though? The two of them dancing again was really cute, and so was what he told her, but I feel like he's messing her around quite a bit... I feel like there's going to be a lot of will-they-won't-they before they get together...

WHY IS HE BACK WITH DALIA? WHAT IS GOING ON?

Sian :)
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Review #21, by nott theodore little sisters

6th March 2016:
I meant to mention this before, but I really like all the references to Muggle culture in here. I can definitely imagine Muggle-borns being prouder of their heritage after the war and trying to bring some of their culture into Hogwarts, especially with books and things, and their friends from magical families embracing it too.

I liked the differences that you highlighted between the two brothers, as well. I think it kind of shows the reasons that Effy is attracted to one and good friends with the other.

You did a great job of writing the Quidditch, too! I'm always so nervous writing Quidditch scenes and I know it can't be easy to always write the action, but you did a really good job of it. I liked seeing Effy in her element chasing the Snitch, even if she didn't manage to catch it safely.

Ah, James caught her! That's really sweet, and the ending definitely showed how much he cares about her, even if neither of them are really going to admit it to each other yet. It was great to see all of her friends gathered round and worried about her too, it showed how much support she has and how close the team are too.

Sian :)
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Review #22, by nott theodore rose petals scattered

6th March 2016:
Hi!

Haha, I had so much fun reading the opening section of this chapter - it sounds like they had a good time when they were out partying! I find it a bit unrealistic at times when stories have everyone partying constantly in the Room of Requirement, but I can definitely imagine the older students sneaking out to a club or something when they get to leave for Hogsmeade, and then a lot of chaos happening. The idea of Neville getting into a fight with the club manager made me laugh so much! And then Effy and Freddie having a rap-off too... it sounds like she'd be fun to hang out with :P

Ah, so Albus and Effy broke up! Yay, I probably shouldn't be so happy about that, but I'm just really relieved that it was a mutual decision and that they've decided they want to stay friends. They definitely seem like they get on and I can imagine them being quite close in the future. It's kind of sad that Albus hasn't had many close girl friends before because they've only been interested in him romantically - and probably because of his name.

I'd never thought about it the same way before, but I loved the fact that Danny was feeling so much pressure to prove himself because he's Muggle-born and doesn't want to be forgotten. That's a really believable take on it.

Ooh, and James wants to know why they broke up! He's definitely interested in Effy, but I still feel like it might take them a while to get together or anything...

Sian :)
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Review #23, by nott theodore call me darling

6th March 2016:
Ciao!

I do really like Albus and Effy together, but having read the whole of this chapter, I can't help but feeling that there's not the same chemistry between them that there is between James and Effy. I hope that, if anything does happen between Effy and James, that it won't be behind Albus's back and that they can stay friends.

The section with JJ was so funny, the way that he treated Albus and all of the things that he said. The stories that Effy had to tell Albus afterwards about the different things that JJ had done over the years were really amusing, too.

Ooh, a hint of Rose/Scorpius! Hmm, I'm really intrigued about how that's going to play out, especially with the way that Albus has noticed there might have been something between them. Maybe something happened and it went wrong? Especially with the argument that happened later on between Scorpius and Aspen, I feel like maybe they won't last for very long...

The dance and the Halloween festival was such a great addition! I loved the idea of the Hogwarts students and the people from Hogsmeade celebrating older traditions too. The dance definitely showed some chemistry between Effy and James, I'm really curious whether anything will happen between them!

Sian :)
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Review #24, by nott theodore more than nice

6th March 2016:
Hola!

Aw, Effy and Albus are just so cute! Honestly, I really like the way that you're writing the two of them, even if things might not work out between them, I hope they stay friends because they seem to get on really well. The conversation between them at the end of the chapter was great, and I loved seeing how nervous and awkward Albus was about being round Effy and getting up the courage to ask her out. They're just adorable ♥

I really like the way that you're writing Effy here, too. She's not just a Quidditch player, it's obvious that it's something that's important to her and something that she actually enjoys - I think there's a tendency at times to have the characters on Quidditch teams just because it's a convenient way of meeting the romantic interest, but it's not the case here. Although I can appreciate her team's complaints about their captain and the training - I definitely would get frustrated with it, but I have a feeling it'll help them get some wins in this season (at least I hope so, which is a lot coming from a Gryffindor ;)).

I really liked the friendships, again - you're doing a great job of writing the interactions between the characters because it all seems so natural and believable. I'm really enjoying this story!

Sian :)
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Author's Response: i've just skimmed over these first few chapters and they're in need of a MAJOR re-write. i am genuinely blushing- please don't judge me on my 2013 writing! i am so embarrassed! and you are too, too kind for still being so nice about it. thank you, thank you, thank you!

you've made me physically smile, your comments are so lovely. i just wish that these early chapters merited them! have i mentioned how embarrassed i am? thank you again sian! you've totally made my day on this rainy sunday afternoon. i hope the rest doesn't disappoint! ♥


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Review #25, by nott theodore communism in mermish

6th March 2016:
Hi again!

Oh my goodness, I've just realised that I spelt Effy wrong in my last review and now that's so embarrassing - please forgive me! :(

Ah, this chapter went in a direction I wasn't expecting from the first one, so I'm really intrigued to see what happens from here. If Effy likes Albus now but is going to end up with James, it could be really messy with the two brothers and I hope that doesn't happen because it would be so awkward and difficult. Anyway, it's exciting for Effy that Albus seems to like her back at the moment and I'm really curious to see what's going to happen next.

One thing I didn't mention yet was the humour that runs throughout these chapters. It's just so entertaining to read this story, and there's so much humour threaded through the narrative that it makes me smile. JJ Fletcher is a very amusing and vivid character (I can imagine how awkward it would feel for Effy to have him obsessed with her) and the thoughts on the History of Magic chapter were so relatable. It's such a disappointment that a subject with so much potential is taught by such a terrible teacher.

The friendships so far are great, too - I loved the way you wrote the conversation between Mikey and Effy, because it seemed really realistic and natural. And the gossip about Dalia and James was certainly interesting - though of course Effy has no idea it's actually about her...

Sian :)
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