Reading Reviews for Puncture
  
15 Reviews Found

Review #1, by lindslo2012 The Voices

24th January 2014:
Loved it! Just like I knew I would! Way to go Nadia on writing another amazing story. ;) You are such a good writer!

Author's Response: Lindsey!! HI THERE! ♥
Thanks for stopping by, and I am thrilled you liked this!
Gah. I am blushing way too much write now.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!


 Report Review

Review #2, by Lululuna The Voices

7th January 2014:
Hi Nadia! Here for Day 12 of the 12 Days of Reviewing! :)

I feel that this is your would-be entry for my challenge and I'm so sad it didn't get in on time/YOU NEVER TOLD ME because it's amazing and wow. I think it was such a creepy and heartbreaking piece at the same time, and almost lyrical and poetic in a way. The use of second person was quite seamless in my opinion, I felt very engaged with Theo but didn't think too much about the fact that it was in second, which is exactly what you want. I also really liked the repetition of the sounds like "laugh/ laugh, laugh" and how it almost made it feel like Theo might be hearing sounds in his own head as well.

I thought it was so interesting how you took the idea of Theo seeing Thestrals and turned him around into having this difficult time with his mother. He seemed very canon, well from what we know, in how he keeps to himself and is "weedy-looking" and not a total babe like he appears in many stories (like mine, ahem). :P I found myself really sympathizing and connecting with him, but the most interesting thing was his resentment and frustration towards his mother. In the scene where he's holding her and he thinks about when she used to comfort him, it was a wonderful reference to remind the reader how he is supposed to be the child, and how injust the situation is for him. Then when Theo compared himself to his father and how he didn't want to look like him when he was older was a great sort of psychological comparison between himself and his parents and how he projects his own image onto them.

I almost thing the creepy-factor and mysterious feeling of the story would be magnified if you cut out the sentence "You passed her the knife and waited for it to happen" and replaced it with something like "She held out her empty palm." Or whatever. Because then the ending could have been left open-ended about whether she killed herself or whether Theo helped her by doing it for her (therefore feeding on those built up feelings of resentment). Gah, I sound twisted. But that's what I sort of thought was going to happen until I got to the end, so it's just a thought if you felt like making it even darker. :P

Lovely job with this, my dear! I really enjoyed reading your fantastic writing. :)

Author's Response: JENNUUHH.

WHUUT. I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU? WAIT, LEMME CHECK... Okay, so I actually chedk and oh my god, I never told you :P But I THOUGHT I HAD! I'm stupid, it's okay.

I love precisely what you just did. How you take something I wrote, and make me feel all clever. I NEVER meant for it to seem like Theo was hearing voices in his own head, BUT NOW YOU MENTION IT AND I FEEL ALL RAVENCLAWY AND AWESOME. :P I am glad you liked the use of second perspective, that's something I was initially worried about.

DUDE, THEO IS A TOTALLY BABE, LIKE BABE#2, AFTER TERRY IN TGFS. I thought it different as well while writing, and definitely hard because I read your story and he's rather dreamy and in this he's everything /but/ that.

Blargh. My face is hurting. The compliments. The flattery. DIABEETUS. I am dead. X_X

Lol, that doesn't seem creepy at all ;) But I like your suggestion and would totally doit, if I were not typo prone :P Seriously, Sian must've wasted a million hours beat-ing it, and if I were to rewrite that section, I'd make a million mistakes and this time no Sian to beta :( *sigh* But that idea's awesome, and maybe some other day ;) I'm sure they're other mothers out there who can hear voices...

Wow, thanks so much for this kind and thoughtful review Jenna! It truly meant a lot to see this review, especially from you, and since I couldn't get it in by the deadline, being the stupid person I am. But the entries that did win, I had no chance against them -- they were all amazing. But yes, thank you for this, and the challenge.

Nadia!


 Report Review

Review #3, by greenbirds The Voices

3rd January 2014:
I really don't know what to make of this, Nadia! (It is Nadia, right? From what I've sussed out from the forums, haha). You just write SO well.
I will admit, it was the banner that caught my attention, but the story took my breathe away. Over the past few days I've grown a bit attached to Theodore Nott as I've suddenly embarked on a Theodore Nott story spree, reading everything I can about him. This was a really interesting side to Theodore; more importantly, it was an interesting side to his mother but most of all, his father, who tossed him and Edith away and I have my suspicions of him being quite an abusive man. I suppose he is a Death Eater, but still, his cruelty and disregarding nature towards his wife and son threw me off a bit!
Another incredible one-shot, Bea x

Author's Response: Hello Bea! I'm a late responder, and an out-of-order responder as well haha :P

And yes, my name is Nadia you've "sussed out" correctly ;)

AND WHOA, THANK YOU! The banner is supercalliomgamazing I know. The artists at TDA are great, and I especially love their UFG topics. I practically live there when I'm not on the forums.

It's this story that makes me love Theodore so much now. I'm determined to write more of him, hopefully romance, and most definitely slash if I get time.

I don't know if Edwin is abusive. He was initially going to be, but then I didn't want that. I thought Edith and Theo both have gone through too much. I just think Mr. Nott is ignorant.

Thanks so much for your review Bea, it really made my day!


 Report Review

Review #4, by nott theodore The Voices

31st December 2013:
Nadia!!! I'm a bad person and haven't reviewed this before now, but you basically wrote a story about my namesake, so how could I ignore this?

This was so moving the first time I read it, and it's somehow even more moving now - probably because it's been a while since I read your writing and forgot how powerful it can be. I think one thing I really love about this story - if you can love a story that's incredibly sad - is the thought and effort you've put into it. Talking to Amanda about this shows how much getting things right meant to you, and I think that paid off because everything about the way you describe Edith Nott's illness seems realistic and believable. Which only makes it even more upsetting.

The way that you described the symptoms of her illness, starting off with small things and then leading up to much bigger, more serious things that are really worrying to read about. That gradual progression made it seem realistic and authentic. It wasn't nice to see her suffering that way, but I think the fact that it felt believable made it more poignant to read about.

Congratulations - this is the first time I've ever really thought about Theodore Nott in terms of feeling sympathetic for him. I'd honestly not thought much about why he could see Thestrals, but this story explored that in such a sad and heart-breaking way. To think about someone so young having to go through that, and witness their mother suffering so much while they are helpless to do anything about it... it nearly made me cry. (I only didn't because there are people in the room with me and I don't want to seem silly). You helped me to think about a character I hadn't previously considered much and feel real sympathy for him. It's horrible that he had to experience something like that at all, let alone at his age.

Another thing that struck me was the way that you managed to communicate his guilt here. Even though he doesn't need to feel guilty because it's not at all his fault, and there's nothing conceivably different he could have done to prevent her from suffering the way she did, it's still understandable. People feel guilty all the time over all sorts of things, but I think that death is one of the most common. You portrayed that and his grief really well.

I also thought your use of second person here was very effective, especially for a character we don't know very well from the books. It helped us to get an insight into his mind without you having to craft his whole character and voice completely as you would have to in first person.

You've done a really good job with this Nadia, and it's a really poignant and moving piece of writing!

Sian ♥ (Happy New Year!)

Author's Response: Sian! Damn it, why have I become so bad at responding to reviews? :(

Aw, that means so much *hugs* I definitely wanted to get things as realistic as possible, and I knew she could help me with that. Even Adi offered, and I was just amazed at how helpful everyone at the forums are. Really, it was great.

But how could Sian ever be silly? :P I never want to make people cry, it's so awkward because hey, I'm a kid behind a screen who tries to make her stories not suck but it doesn't really work out all the time, y'know. My stories should never be making me people cry, they aren't developed enough. (I am working on this one story that I really need to finish in time for Lauren's birthday, but it's so hard to write and the banner I wanted in the ufg WAS TAKEN and now I am sad, but this will happen!!!)

Gah, grief is so hard to write because awkward, but I'm thrilled that you thought I could write is well. Angst is the best.

I really enjoyed writing second person :) It was different, and I loved it.

Thank you so much for beta-ing this, and leaving such a fabulous review. I am the worst person in the world for not being able to respond to this in a timely manner but gah ily and thank you thank you thank you ♥

- Nadia ♥


 Report Review

Review #5, by Secret Santa The Voices

25th December 2013:
Ho Ho Ho!! Happy Christmas!

So this story intrigued me on your AP and I had to come and check it out. I was so pleased when I saw that it was kind of a missing moment story, I love those! I'd forgotten Theodore Nott could see Thestrals so I was excited to see what you had in store!

Finishing the story though I've literally had to stop and stare at my laptop for a few minutes. I'm in shock with what I've read. The emotion and intensity you've packed into this is actually just unbelievable.

My first thing is to complement you on your use of second person. I love reading second person, I think you can get so close to the characters without making it over dramatic and you did just that! Theo's pain, is just well. It's so hard to read him suffer through as his mum slowly gets worse and worse yet it's impossible to tear your eyes away which hopefully tells you just how good your writing is.

There were a few lines in particular that really packed a punch. I particularly liked your use of repeating words three times, such as "tick tock" and "scratch". I think this line got to me the most though:

" She whispered in your ear, "Make it stop, Theo. Make the voices stop."

And so you promised, "Okay."

But you didn't. You lied. You broke your promise.
"

Lines like that just get to you so much. So many times people make promises just like this one not because they're going to keep them but because it's all they can do. Beautifully written.

One small typo for you I believe: "You listened to her voice that's getting quieter and quieter" when you say "that's" you go into the present tense, I don't think you need it.

Writing a story like this can't be easy and yet you've done such a good job. You've managed to capture the difficulties both someone with a mental illness and someone dealing with a loved one having a mental illness have to go through and I'm in awe. I think the fact at times she realises just how bad she's gotten, the few times she seems to come back make it almost worse for them both.

The ending. I don't even know what to say. I saw it coming but jeez, nothing prepares you for it. Nothing.

This was so intense and a bit of a rollercoaster of emotions but I'm so glad I read it. Apologies for the review being all over but I'm still in shock from what I've read. Great job!

Love From
Secret Santa
xxx

Author's Response: SANTAAA!!! I AM SO, SO, SOOO SORRY FOR THE LATE RESPONSE MY LOVE! I should just be put on the damn naughty list. Thank you for the pretty graphic by the way, Matt Smith is a total hotty pants!

WAH, even I was very intrigued by Theo. I think I was rereading the Order of Phoenix when I remembered he could see Thestrals as well as Luna, and I searched feverishly for that part!

YAAAY. SHOOOCK. I'm glad you had to stare at your laptop for a while hehe, means I've done my job correctly!

YAAAY, SANTA LIKES MY SECOND PERSON, SANTA LIKES MY SECOND PERSON!!! lol, this is my craziest response ever to a review :P But seriously, thank you so much. I love reading second person as well. I feel like second person, you're an outsider looking into someone's head, so you see a different perspective of hat the character is feeling. Just me though :P

YOU LIKED THAT TOO?! I liked that as well :D And yeah, that's what I had in mind. The whole, "it's okay." thing. What if it's not okay? Questions questions...

THANK YOU FOR THE TYPO SANTA I LURRRVE YOU LIKE POTTY LOVES LOONY!

Yeah, realization is always tough. I think it must've been killer for Edith too, to know that she's not okay, but she can't be fixed. Sad indeed.

THANK YOU FOR THIS SUPERCALIIAWESOME REVIEW!
LOTS OF LOVE FROM NADIAA!!
♥ ♥ ♥


 Report Review

Review #6, by prettywishes The Voices

23rd December 2013:
This was very interesting, and not what I was expecting at all. I really enjoyed it though. It was so sad to watch her go mad, and even worse to watch as Theo tried to deal with it, because that's such a hard thing for anyone to deal with, especially someone so young. I never really think much about some of the cannon characters home lives, but this really made me think about how so many of those characters could have home lives you don't really expect. Really well done, I'm glad I stumbled upon it!

Author's Response: Hello there!

Wow, thank you so much for your kind words! I suppose it must've been hard reading and watching Theo see her go through it. It wasn't too hard for me to write, but I do try to not read this piece just in case since people have been telling me it is quite painful ;)

Thanks so much again! I really hope you have a great Christmas! Happy holidays!!


 Report Review

Review #7, by CambAngst The Voices

20th December 2013:
Hi, Nadia! Tagging you from the Review the Person Above You thread in the common room.

When I was young, I had a cousin who was struggling with bipolar disorder. It was never so severe as what you've described in such a mesmerizing way in this story, but I'll never forget it. The thing I remember most were the windows of clarity between the crazy mode swings and the manic fits of misbehavior. The moments where he knew that something wasn't right. It was haunting to listen to him talk about himself as though he was talking about another person entirely. I got the same sort of chills in Edith Nott's moments of clarity in this story. For me, at least, that was what made it the most real.

This story was so gripping and intense. It was impossible to look away, really. And I had two 5-year-olds trying very hard to make that happen. Poor Theo was left to shoulder the burden that his father -- who was elderly, if I remember the canon correctly -- was either unwilling to deal with it or too busy carrying out the Dark Lord's orders.

I thought you paced the story really well. You started off with some of the less awful symptoms of Edith's mental disorder and gradually escalated it to the point where it was completely beyond her control. Every behavior you ascribed to her felt incredibly realistic. There wasn't anything cartoony or over-the-top about the way you treated her mental illness, which I was thankful for. There's nothing worse than a story that seems to make light of such a horrible thing, whether it's on purpose or due to simple misunderstanding.

And those awful moments of clarity. In one way they're a gift, but they also make the process so much more painful. You get these brief glimpses of the person you love as they used to be. It fills you with false hope, only to see it dashed away a moment later.

She whispered in your ear, ďMake it stop, Theo. Make the voices stop.Ē

And so you promised, ďOkay.Ē

But you didnít. You lied. You broke your promise.
-- If there was one moment in the entire story where I felt worst for Theo, it was right here. The guilt that comes from promising something that you know you can't deliver, but you promise it anyway because it's the only form of comfort you can offer.

You passed her the knife and waited for it to happen.

So perhaps, it was your fault.
-- Tragically, no matter how long he has to process and understand what happened to his mother, there will always be a part of him that believes that.

I don't know what else I can add. This was equal parts beautiful and heart-wrenching. Written with so much sensitivity and finesse. Lovely job!

Author's Response: DAAAN!I'M SO THRILLED YOU READ THIS AND LIKED IT! *falls to the ground* And I'm so sorry that it's been so long and I'm only just replying! But thank you so much for the review, it really made my birthday!

*sigh* I've fortunately (?) never known anyone with anything similar to this. I personally have been through/am going through a phase where I am sad, a lot of the time for no apparent reason. So I understand the, "knowing something's wrong, but not knowing *what* exactly is wrong." I think because I am that way, I was able to pass on some of my own characteristics to Edith.

Ah, that makes me smile. Your twins and the fact that you found it so gripping. That truly means a lot.

Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! A lot of the symptoms have to go to Google and Amanda. There were times I will admit, where I thought I was rushing, or maybe there were *too* many symptoms. I'm so glad you liked it, because I know that if I had made it cartoon-y, I probably would never have put it up.

The way you review drives me insane. Seriously, I am not worth that praise. I'm so honoured whenever you leave reviews for me, because you look at everything of mine from a different perspective, or word it so nicely it really leaves my face burning.

THOSE LINES! AH! I loved those ones, particularly because I felt super smart writing them. But to see that you liked them too, for your own reasons and thoughts, make them a lot more special.

Man, Dan! (that rhymed wicked!) You are seriously too kind. So thank you, a lot. Honestly, this review has got to be one of the nicest and most thoughtful reviews I've ever received. Congratulations on surpassing 900, by the way!


 Report Review

Review #8, by magnolia_magic The Voices

20th December 2013:
Oh Nadia. I'm literally staring at my laptop with my hand over my mouth, just so you can have a mental picture of my reaction. I have a feeling I'll still be processing this one for a while.

What a haunting piece! I absolutely love your description of Mrs. Nott's descent. It's subtle at first, and then it just gets so horrifying. Which, from what I know of schizophrenia, makes perfect sense. I'm honestly struggling to find ways to praise you for your style here. I love that you used really sparse lines in most places, and made powerful statements in only a few words. Like this one:

"You released a bitter laugh. It was funny the way things worked."

^This is one of my favorite parts, because it just packs such an emotional punch. I tend to ramble, and so I always love to find authors who can get such power across with one simple line. Love it, love it!

Personally, I am not a fan of second person. I'm not even sure what it is that irks me about it, but it's definitely not my preferred style. But objectively, I think you did a really good job with the second person in this piece. And for people who really like that particular style (and there are a lot of those people), I think your use of it will be really impressive :)

Just curious: how did you decide to use Theodore as your narrator? He's such a minor character and I see a lot of authors fleshing him out a lot in their stories. What is it about him that made you want to write this? I'd love to know! I do think it was a good decision to use such a minor character, because it allowed us to dive into the story without any preconceived ideas about the narrator. And now that I think about it, I'm not sure I can think of a better minor character you could have chosen. I like the fact that it was a Slytherin character; the fact that this happened in a pureblood household adds an air of secrecy and eeriness to it that I loved.

Gahh, I'm still reeling! I wish I could come up with more words, but rest assured that I really loved reading this piece, and it's very impactful and powerful. You really did a wonderful job with it! So glad I got to tag you, Nadia, it was about time I checked out some of your amazing work :)

--Maggie

Author's Response: Hi Maggie! Sorry it's taken me a week to come over and respond to this magnificent review. I was really excited to see that you'd tagged me!

Wow, thank you so much. It was difficult to stop myself from going all out on Edith, but I wanted her descend into madness to be as realistic as possible. I had some help from Amanda and she really described it amazingly. Google helped tons too. ;)

Aw, you liked that? I really love when people point out lines they liked, because it makes me feel all mighty and clever. Sometimes I fear my writings too.. cliche or something, if that makes sense.

I've really admired second person, only because I feel like it's so much more thrilling to read. I'm glad you were flexible to this piece, and that you enjoyed it in this. That means a lot.

I always wanted to issue a challenge over at the forums, where you would take something that's been mentioned -- told to us -- and *show* it to us, if that makes sense. I was planning on issuing it, and Theo was a prompt for it, and then the Unexpected Voice challenge came out and I couldn't really do that any more :P I didn't make the deadline, but I did manage to finish. I really came to love him in this, because he seems like a great person in my eyes. I really hope I can write about him soon again. I'm so glad you liked him, because I like him too, a lot.

No , no, there is no need for more words! Let me assure you my face is positively burning! Thank you so much for all this praise, because it means so much. I'm so happy that you enjoyed this piece and that it managed to have such a great impact. Thank you, thank you! You are seriously much too kind.

Nadia ♥


 Report Review

Review #9, by academica The Voices

6th December 2013:
Hey, I'm here at last with your requested review! I apologize for the delay; I've been out of town several times over the past few weeks and didn't have web access.

Overall, I'm really impressed with your portrayal of Theo's mother. I like that her madness increased over time as she slipped further and further from reality and really disconnected from any social ties or stable anchors in her life. I really loved the way you turned the volume up on her paranoia as we grew closer to the end; it was like you went from the slightly unusual, possibly quirky, mostly benign visual and auditory hallucinations to something much more sinister with the accusations of poison in her dinner. Some of it, though, I think is maybe a little too far into the crazy realm to realistically fit someone with schizophrenia--like the instant shift from angry paranoia to sing-songy glee, and the idea of her speaking French when she didn't know any. Frankly, it makes me think of demonic possession more so than actual schizophrenia. I understand the need for creative license, but to me it's the subtle moments that are the most powerful, like her fixation on her hands and the way Theo suddenly realizes just how bad she looks.

I liked the use of second person here, too. It seems fitting considering your ending. I think it's sensible to imagine Theo wanting to at least consider putting his mother out of her misery or helping her achieve what she wants even if it doesn't make any sense to him. It was intriguing to see the symptoms emerging from an outsider's perspective, because obviously it would be quite different if you had written from Edith's point of view. I also like that you chose someone close to her because it shows just how much she's changed and what a toll the illness has taken.

Very nice job! I hope this review is helpful :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hey Amanda, sorry for the late response! Thanks again for reviewing this, and of course your help prior to this story being posted, it meant a lot to me.

Coming from you, I think I can finally be a bit relieved about her condition and how I portrayed it. I had to research some believable symptoms, thus the things with the hands and etc. I think for the whole "french" speaking part, I'd been taking that as the symptom called "Word Salads". It meant for her to be talking gibberish, and be under the belief that she was speaking another language, and since Theo did not know, he assumed it was french... lol, that sounds confusing :P I'll go back and clear that up once the queue re-opens.

Ahhh, your praise for this is so nice. I'm thrilled you liked the 2nd pov, because if you do that means I've done my job correctly.

Thanks so much, this review has been very helpful!
- Nadia


 Report Review

Review #10, by GingeredTea The Voices

28th November 2013:
You did an amazing job with this story. I swear I was nearly halfway through before I remembered I hadn't posted that I was reading and reviewing it! I've never read a Theodore centric story and this just took my breath away.
Your story flowed really well and you managed second person magnificently well. The ending was terrible and perfect all at once. Bravo.

Author's Response: Hiya!

Wow, thank you. It feels good to hear that someone managed to get so lost in the story. I'm super pleased you found the flow correct and well done, I think that's one of my best strengths as a writer. 'Course my beta's there to sort things out too! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and thank you for your kind words. They've made my day!


 Report Review

Review #11, by milominderbinder The Voices

27th November 2013:
Hi hon! Here from review tag. And can I just say - Oh. My. God.

This story just about broke my heart, but in the best way. I never really thought I would feel for Theo Nott, but you've done it, you've made me care about him! Damn you :P

It's always so interesting to read about any of the children of death eaters in my opinion, because they have such a different experience of the wizarding world than what we mostly see in canon, so this was especially fascinating because of that.

LOVE the use of second person, it made this very intense and emotional, and really helped portray all the emotions you were writing about.

The last line really hit me hard, it was incredible. The perfect note to end it on - that conditional unsurety, again really hammered home with the use of second person. I totally felt for Theo, and that last line also kind of unnerved me in a way, it was almost creepy in its simplicity when talking about such an extreme thing. So I thought that was incredibly effective and really the perfect place to end it.

Okay, fave quotes:

"My hands," she said simply. She brought them above the table, into your view and said, "They look different."

It hurt you to see her like this. Once, your mother was beautiful. Now she was dirty. Once, she sang. And now she screamed. Once, she loved. Now she feared. What had she become?

"I'm going to fix you now, mother."

Watching his mothers slow descent was terrifying as well as heartbreaking. This story has made a real impact on me - well done!

~Maia

Author's Response: Pelt me with tomatoes because it's almost a whole month later and I'm just now getting to responding to this. So you can have birthday cake, okay? :D

Haha, well take it as pay back for making me like Ginny!

I love reading about death eater's children as well. In this I made Draco out to be like the snot at school we always pictured, but I think Draco is also a very complex character and son.

I'm so pleased you liked the second person. I'm really thrilled you enjoyed it, it was fun trying it out!

I'm so glad you felt something at that last line, or felt anything at all! That's some serious flattery! :P But thank you so much. I love writing dark stories, and I'm so pleased that you had such a positive feel for it!

Aw, I love that one about the hands as well. I think you picked out the ones that I loved writing the most, and felt pretty clever doing haha.

Wow, thank you so much for this amazing review Maia! Sorry again for the late response!
Nadia ♥


 Report Review

Review #12, by monstrosity The Voices

27th November 2013:
Oh my God. I'm just staring at my laptop screen with my eyes as big as saucers. What did I just read?

It was so traumatically beautiful. How a mother dropped further and further into the clutches of insanity. Told from her child's perspective. The sheer power that the words contain is incredible. It's written in such a simple manner that the events really hits you in the face. Writing in second person is never an easy task but I think you pulled it off wonderfully.

I have a certain soft spot for children of Death Eaters. The poor souls under bad influences. Imagine what amazing wizards they could become had their parents raised them right.

Your Theo Nott is quite an impressive boy. His feelings an emotions are never out of control. It cannot be easy to grow up in a household where your parents constantly fight, your father is cold and your mother is distant. Yet he never possessed self pity. He was always looking for a cure for his mother.

I feel that the last words of the story lead to any interesting question. Did Theo do the right thing by letting his mother die?Or should he have let his mother suffer? Both ideas seem implausible and I'm surprised at his ability to make a decision. I certainly wouldn't have been able to make one. I would have probably carted her off to St.Mungos.

It's a really amazing piece of work. I can't really call it enjoyable, but I'm very glad I had the chance to read it :)

Author's Response: Hi! Can I just say I love your username? It's actually so intelligent and I'm so jealous. *sigh* What I was thinking while making mine I shall never know...

Oh, this review is so chilling. I'm so grateful that you liked Edith's descend into darkness and madness. It was my first time ever trying to write in second person, and I'm so happy you thought I pulled it off. I really couldn't ask for more.

I've actually never really read about the children of Death Eaters, except for perhaps this novel on Draco's experiences after a war, being an ex Death Eater and all. It's great, and you should check it out, if romance and Post War is your thing. It's called Detox by the author CambAngst.

I'm actually very proud of "My" Theo. I really loved writing him, even if I was a bit cruel. I'm flattered that you think he was impressive. That was one thing I wanted my reader's to think of him as.

Hm. Personally, I think I would have done the same as you, especially if I were as close to my mother as Theo was to his. I believe they had a close relationship before her development, and that it was hard for him to let her go. But I don't think he'd have wanted her to be in pain for much longer.

Ha, yeah, I wouldn't call it enjoyable either. I'm so glad you did like this piece though, so thank you so much. I'm honestly blushing right now.

Thank you for reading and reviewing!
- Nadia (MissesWeasley123)


 Report Review

Review #13, by maraudertimes The Voices

26th November 2013:
Hi!
Thank you so much, first and foremost. I had a peek at your review and it made me happy and I pulled a strange face because of the warm fuzzies it gave me. :)

First, I'm just going to point out a few typos, because if I let myself ramble about this I'm going to get off track and start sobbing...

"...mad you feel queasy..."
"...as her fist mad a loud 'thud' against the table."
Obviously, both 'mad's should be 'made.'

"Once, your mother was beautiful. Now she was dirty. Once, she sang. And now she screamed. Once, she loved. Now she feared." This is not necessarily a typo, and is totally my thoughts, so feel free to ignore this, but I feel that to keep the flow and continuity of the start of each sentence "Once" then "Now," perhaps "And now she screamed." could be "Now she screamed." Totally my thoughts, so you seriously don't even have to take this into consideration. :)

Also, you mentioned "To your surprise, she obeyed. She dropped the wand." It sounds as if Theo asked her to drop the wand not the knife, so just the word 'and' could fix that little bit up.

Other than that... I loved it. It was so sad to see how Theo thought it was all his fault and until the end, I had no idea why he would think that. I thought that his father was emotionally abusive and that might have contributed... but wow! I honestly did not see that coming.

And though I have no personal experience with schizophrenia (and Primadonna only really deals with the allusion of schizophrenia through magically induced visions [oops! spoilers ;)]), I think this was really accurate. Of course his mother wouldn't start off as deluded as she is when it ends, so I really liked the transition.

Also, your characterization of Theodore was *fabulous*. I love how he does have prejudices and is a little purist, he recognizes intelligence. Perhaps had the circumstances been different, your Theo may very well have been a Ravenclaw. I also liked how you included that Theo thought quite highly of Harry versus Draco. I haven't yet seen a fic where a Slytherin of that time believes Harry to be superior to Draco in any way except for the fact that he survived a killing curse.

Another point (because your story makes me feel things), I'm so sad about Theo. I can't imagine him having to see his mother do that! And the fact that he was only 15? Be still, my heart! Oh, the feelings you invoke are real!

This was beautiful and I loved it and I can't imagine a fic that describes the story of Theo much better than this (although yours *is* the only one I've ever read), and the fact that you wrote it in second person? Amazing! I have many troubles with that perspective.

Multiple kudos and kind things, and I'll stop rambling now since this is a pretty lengthy review now. But in short: beautifully moving with a hint of tragedy. Gorgeous written.

Lo:)

Author's Response: Hey, Lo!

AH, this review was so helpful! So thank you for pointing out those typos, I'm sure I made them **after** my beta beta-read this -.- Trust me to make mistakes lol.

Wow, thank you! The idea had been brewing in my head for a while, so I'm glad I kept you on your toes and guessing throughout!

Same, I have no experience with schizophrenia either. Anything you thought that looked realistic was the help of Amanda. She was great at explaining it!

Awww, you liked him? I liked him too. I mean, he's adorable. I think I have a too goodlooking model in my banner... But y'know, Theo's so awesome. I felt really bad for him, and I'm pleased you did too.

It was my first time trying a hand at second perspective! I personally find first perspective the easiest, and I was originally writing this in third, but then switched over to second. That caused a lot of tense issues, that my super beta Sian had to sort out.

Thanks for loving it! This review is so kind and I'm very grateful for it. I loved doing the swap, and good luck with your story!

Nadia :D


 Report Review

Review #14, by patronus_charm The Voices

26th November 2013:
Hey Nadia! I really need to start reading some of your cheerier stuff because the two pieces Iíve chosen so far havenít been great for my mood :P

I think the thing that really shone to me was your characterisation of Edith. It was just the way the creepiness of her began to build and build and never really stopped which was so chilling to me. I kept on seeing these warning signs, but kept on thinking they would eventually go but sadly they didnít. Even her small movements of her body were spot with the frantic air she seemed to carry and that was really great.

The second person POV was a good choice in my opinion. I think in a case such as mental instability, it allowed us to get close enough to Theo and perhaps understand his issues, but then still be on the outside of him and understand how hard it was to grapple with the exterior pressure of it all. I really liked Theoís characterisation by the way, he had the air of the loner but because he was so consumed with caring for his mother it didnít come off too strongly which makes me wonder what he would have been like after her death.

Theoís father was another great characterisation point. There was some sort of ambiguity about him which I still canít entirely decipher but I really enjoyed it and it matched Theoís sense of isolation well too because he couldnít rely on him for support. In a way, it makes sense for him to shun his wife because I always imagined the Death Eaters something akin to the Nazis who were never tolerant to the mentally instable so that was good. But then you added another level to him too, almost of silent caring for his wife which is something I really enjoyed.

The ending still shocked me even though I thought Edith was most probably going to do it throughout. The twist of Theo handing her knife after trying to make her resist from doing it was excellent. That entire scene was so chilling, even more so than the one where she began to scratch herself, mainly due to the unanswered question in my head of whether Theo watched her do it or not. He stayed when she scratched herself to the point of bleeding which makes me unsure about what he would do here.

I noticed one tiny error here Ď"anything and everything was Theoís fault",í where the comma should be inside the speech marks. :)

Fantastic one-shot!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Gosh I'm so behind on review responding -.- especially since this one is so long and thoughtful, so thank you lovely!

Ha! For your challenge, I'm **trying** to write a parody.. we shall see how that goes :P I'm thinking of calling it, "All I Want For Christmas, Is a Nose." Anyway, you'll get to read it soon enough (if I like, finish lol)

Oooh, you liked her? YAY! :D That makes me very happy. I think I might have went a bit crazy with her characterization... but I'm glad you liked it! It was so much fun :) I had to do some research for believable symptoms, like the hands and the word salads (the part where she's speaking "french" but she actually isn't, she's speaking gibberish)

*does a happy dance* Wow, I'm so excited/pleased you liked the 2nd person in this! It was so scary to write, and Sian had to help me out tons with having a consistent tense, because I kept on switching from past to present, and didn't even realize. GAH THEO ♥ I love him so much. I am writing him again, for sure.

Haha, I'm reading that paragraph you said about Edwin Nott and I'm laughing, because when I was writing him, I never thought of him that way! I like you. You make me feel intelligent, Kiana.

Thank you for that typo! It's been erased, never to be found again...

Wow, I'm really pleased you liked the ending, though I personally think it escalated quickly :P

Thank you so much!! *squishes*


 Report Review

Review #15, by toomanycurls The Voices

25th November 2013:
It's been too long since I've read one of your wonderful stories. :D

I absolutely love what you did with the narrator's voice in this and how they talk about voices while being the voice of the story. It's very meta.

Wow, this really puts the idea of living with a mentally unstable parent into a proximity I've never imagined. I mean, she had a rep for going through husbands. Perhaps this is why.

Oh boy, I just want to hug Theo and give him a safe place to stay. It's so sad to watch him experience his mother's slow insanity.

Ah, this line broke my heart into pieces 'Once, your mother was beautiful. Now she was dirty. Once, she sang. And now she screamed. Once, she loved. Now she feared.' Such a beautiful way to describe her transformation.

O.o that ending just about stopped my heart. I mean, wow. I saw it as an act of mercy but still.

Incredible story!!

-Rose

Author's Response: Ahh Rose! I seriously need to catch up on some of your new work soon too!

Oh, I liked that part :) It was one of the parts I knew that was already going to be in there, before I even started writing.

Hm, a rep for going through husbands? Haha, I think you mean Zabini's mum did :P But I understand what you're trying to say, so no worries :)

I think he'd like getting hugged by you :) He really needs it.

I'm so pleased you picked out that line. It was another one of my favourites!

Thanks so much for your kind and sweet review! I'm very grateful, Rose!

~ Nadia


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login