Reading Reviews for Through The Darkest
63 Reviews Found

Review #1, by lindslo2012 So She Is Back

17th April 2014:
Hi there!
Here for another requested review and oh my goodness this gave me the chills!
I am so sad for how weak Ginny is but I REALLY want to know what happened to her.. I hope she is the same person she was when she left but there is not telling until she actually wakes up.
I am quite afraid for her... and I know her family will love her no matter what but I hope she isn't some dark witch now.
Anyways... lovely chapter! You haven't stopped shocking me with your story and every chapter is even more intense than the one before it!
Way to go! I don't see any errors worth mentioning! :D
Hope to see you soon for another review!

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Review #2, by Veritaserum27 So She Is Back

14th April 2014:
Hi Ashwini,

Wow - another nail biter. I keep having more and more questions. I'm so glad that Ginny is back and her family is happy. I hope the next chapter has some Harry/Ginny going on.

I feel like there is something going on with Percy. It doesn't seem like his personality to be the brother who is the MOST upset. Hmm.

I also wonder if you did a little foreshadowing about a possible relationship between Cress and Teddy. It seems like they would be really good for each other.

Again, you got me at the end! I was not expecting the "person" to say they had to kill Cress! This throws a whole new light on to the fact that Cress was given the case.

Good job - and again, thanks for writing!


Reviewed for Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza

Author's Response: Hello Beth! Thanks for coming back for more! :D

Questions! Keep watching out for updates and I promise they will be answered one by one. :) Ginny is back, but as I have stated in the summary, there is another mystery to be solved and you got a glimpse of it at the end of the chapter. Also, the next chapter is focused on Cress and her family issues, so no Hinny in there, but I am definitely planning to write chapter six in Harry's pov. :)

Haha, no, there's nothing wrong with Percy, you can be sure of that. I mentioned he was the most upset because I think he is more emotional than he seems to be.

I'm so so happy you think Teddy and Cress would be good together! Though I usually go for the canon pairing- Teddy/Victoire, but Teddy/Cress is very much needed in TTD. :)

Yes, the ending was just to give a hint that Cress is connected to the case in some way that you will know before the end of course.

Thanks for another lovely review and your continued support!


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Review #3, by Xoxo The Unexpected Guest

14th April 2014:
Wow, I liked the last scene! Now I really think Cress's father was a Detective. Is he related to Ginny's disappearance?? I think so and I'm intrigued! Please update soon!!!

Author's Response: Hello! The last scene is one of my favorites. :) I was very keen to set Teddy/Cress off and this was like a moment made only for it.

Thank you so much for coming back!!


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Review #4, by LightLeviosa5443 The Unexpected Guest

13th April 2014:
Hi! BvB again!!

Ah! This chapter was so great! I loved the way Cress was so distant from her family and how you described that. I mean, I don't love that she's distant, just the way you wrote it... You know what I mean.

I really liked that you have the women all sort of yelling at each other. I'm with Cress as to why her mother would lie to her, like that. Especially since she let Teddy in. Also woah, you go Teddy! Calling Cress out on the way she spoke to her mum. I also loved that realization. I can't wait to find out more, was her dad a detective, too? I think what I'm most interested to see is what you do with Cress/Teddy and what you do with the fact that the woman isn't Ginny.

I can't wait to read more, update soon!!!

xoxo Sarah ♥

Author's Response: Hi Sarah! :D You made my day again! :)

Yeah, I know what you mean. :( I feel bad for the poor girl too, so I'm gonna do my best to give her some happiness with Teddy. :)

The yelling was fun to write even though I was with Cress too. XD Cress doesn't do that much often, but this time she sort of lost her control. Otherwise she's a composed person.

I love Teddy! :D Anyways, we'll see about Cress's father. This wasn't exactly a realisation, but a clue. It has to do with Ginny's case too. Oops, did I give you a hint? :O

Thanks for stopping by!! I am working on the next chapter right now, should be written down in a couple of days. :)


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Review #5, by LightLeviosa5443 So She Is Back

13th April 2014:
Oh wow!!! This chapter is insane!!
Hey hon! I'm here for the BvB!

I really enjoyed the way you had Cress sit in the room and go through each and every Weasley family member in the room. I liked the way that she put two and two together based on who they looked, or how they talked. I enjoyed the banter between the family that existed even as they were all so nervous. I felt the whole thing was really very believable and enjoyable because of that.

One small CC, towards the end of the chapter (Before you go into the flashback) Cress says "Please don't let ask anyone a single question to her," just swap ask and anyone around!

Another thing I think you did really well was that ending. I'm still in shock. I was just completely floored when I read it! I want to know what's going to happen with that piece of information and where you take it from here! I'm so intrigued!

Also, I remember you mentioning something about Cress/Teddy, so i'm intrigued about that too! Just write write write because I love love love this and need to read more more more! (had to throw in that third one for emphasis!)

Wonderful wonderful job hon!

xoxo Sarah ♥

Author's Response: Haha, I know the cliffhangers can be pretty annoying! XD But it's great that you're liking the story Sarah. :)

Thanks lovely! I thought that was a great way to take a quick look on the Weasleys instead of making Teddy introduce all of them to Cress. And, as you guessed, I wanted to show how the unity and the love still exists between them all. :) It's great that you figured that out!

Haha, I'm glad you liked the end of the chapter! I know it was like a blast, but it won't be revealed until the very end according to my current plan. But of course I'll keep slipping hints and clues for you to guess in the 'five years ago' parts. :)

Yes, I do plan for some Teddy/Cress and that begins from right the next chapter! :)

Thanks for the lovely lovely lovely review! :D You made my day day day! (I know that was stupid, but that's how I'm feeling right now.)


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Review #6, by Ali The Unexpected Guest

11th April 2014:
Finally some Teddy/Cress on the way! :D I loved loved loved their first private talk. They seem so cute together... Especially I loved that you are having Jensen as Teddy. He fits really well! Onto the chapter, I liked Veronica and I want the sisters to be close to each other again. Aah I need update! I need to know what Alison's problem is and what that has to do with Ginny's case. I also want to know why Ginny is different and I just can't wait to get a glimpse of the good old Harry!
Please please write the next one as soon as u can!

Author's Response: Yes! Teddy/Cress finally has begun. :D I was just waiting for the right moment you know. This was the beginning of their liking for each other which will smoothly change into love as far as I have planned. Lets see what happens!

I know! Jensen is always Teddy for me. Maybe that's why I couldn't help but write that Teddy was a handsome man. XD

Veronica isn't that bad, she just takes her mother's side. I liked that you want them to reconcile, but that's still a little hard for Cress. :( Too much bitterness for a reconciliation.

I just begun writing the next chapter! Keep coming back and thanks for the beautiful review!


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Review #7, by tribble A Case Worth Waiting For

10th April 2014:
Hello here from the Review Tag!

First off I am deeply in love with your writing style. Your use of description and how you go about describing actions is something I could only dream of doing. You've captivated me from the very beginning and I can't wait to see where the story goes next.

I'm also interested in the way you cut off with those one sentences before you go into the next part. It is a nice way of adding something to the story as well as giving the reader an edge and interest in what is going to happen next.

This is a great first chapter and this story as some gem and you should be quite proud of it. Keep on writing!

Author's Response: Hi there! :D

Aww, thanks! I'm so glad you liked my writing style. :) It's not the way I always write, but I tried writing this way to give a mysterious vibe to the story.

Thanks for the lovely review! I am pretty much proud of the story and I dream of completing it one day... :)


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Review #8, by Veritaserum27 More Than a Clue

4th April 2014:
Holy Cow - that WAS quite a cliffhanger. I was totally not expecting that one!

I loved the way you used the light in the drawing room to mirror the fact that there is now "new light" on Ginny's disappearance. That was a nice touch.

I keep trying to guess who the woman was who bought the two vials from the old man at the very beginning. Was she Ginny? Gabrielle? Fleur? (that thought occurred to me during this chapter.) Was the old man Dumbledore???

Nice job on this chapter - thanks for the great read!


Author's Response: I know it was a cruel one! But I hope you liked that! ;)

I'm so happy you catched the light thing! :D That was exactly what I was trying to say. That Cress will light up everything. :)

Keep guessing! I love to hear about your theories and guesses. :) I just can't confirm who the girl was right now, but I'd advise you to think a little more than the obvious people. Oops... Did I slip you a hint?

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #9, by CP Picking Up The Pieces

31st March 2014:
Hi Ashwini! CP here for another beautifully descriptive chapter of Through The Darkest! XD
Wow, Teddy's emotions were so vividly portrayed. That kinda highlights the mysteriously angsty mood of the whole concept and also the title. I am just wondering why you have chosen the title now! I must get on the next chapter!! :D

Author's Response: Hello CP! :D

Aww, thanks for mentioning my descriptions! :') I'm glad you liked Teddy's emotions. It's a bit hard to portray them you know. :)

You'll definitely know why I chose the title. It goes wonderfully with the plot.

Thanks for stopping by! :D


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Review #10, by Infinityx Picking Up The Pieces

28th March 2014:
Hello! I am extremely sorry that I took sooo long to get to this review! :( RL has been such a pain lately and I haven't been in the mood to get around to doing anything. But I'm here now, so onward to the review!

I love how you've brought in the back story here! Maybe nothing happens with regard to the central story line, but getting to know what happened earlier and what led to the whole situation is very crucial for a plot to proceed in the right direction. I think you've done a great job here!

This chapter adds so much intrigue to the story. It raises a multitude of questions and the complexity is increased. I can't wait to see where it's all going!

Poor Teddy. :( You've done a wonderful job at writing his feelings. They're so overwhelmingly sad! I think his characterization has been done beautifully. Oh, Harry. I can't imagine what he must be feeling. :'(
Aw, James. That part was heartbreaking. It really brings out the extent of sorrow within the family, but I have a small bit of critique here. It seems really unlike Harry to abandon his son like that. Especially after the kind of childhood he had. Maybe he wouldn't be able to spend too much time with the kid, but what he's doing here seems just a bit extreme and unlike the Harry we know from canon. He would value his family more than anything and even with his grief about Ginny gone, his son would come first. I suggest you look into that. :)

Gabrielle's condition sure was an unexpected twist! It seems like she was involved in whatever Ginny is now. Oh my, I hope Ginny's alright! :o The mystery is thickening and I'm so curious to know what's happening!

A handwriting similar to Dumbledore's... Ginny was meeting with someone often, and Harry didn't know about him/her... This is really mysterious. No matter how much I ponder over this, I can't come up with anything! Wow, this is some plot you have going on here. I'm curious to see how it will progress.

And Cress. Hmm, some romance there? She's such an interesting character as well. I'd love to see how she develops in this story!

There are a few places where the sentences could be tidied up a bit. The were a couple of spots where articles were missing, and the tense seemed a teeny bit off. I suggest getting a beta reader to look through it a bit.

Apart from that, this was a really gripping, wonderful second chapter. It really laid down a base for the development of the plot, and you've done a terrific job at making me curious. :D

I hope this review wasn't too harsh. All my suggestions go with a few cookies and a hug. :) I really love what you've got going here!


Author's Response: It's totally fine! I can totally understand that RL can be pretty evil at times. I just went through that phase actually... But anyways, this awesome review makes up for it. :)

I agree that the back story is pretty much crucial for the plot and it was hard writing it all without making it too informative so I'm glad you thought it turned out well. :)

Yes, poor Teddy! I feel so bad about him too! That's why I'm trying to make things as happier for him as I can possibly do. :P

I understand what you mean, but if you'll see, he hasn't necessarily 'abandoned' his son. After all, Harry is a man and a very busy one. As Teddy is an Auror too, both of them must be pretty busy and that would leave James alone in the house for quite a long time in the day. That's why Molly agreed to look after her grandson. :)

I won't deny that Gabrielle is linked to the case in a way. I also can confirm your second theory that Ginny was meeting someone often. But to know who the 'someone' is, I invite you for more! ;)

There's definitely some romance here! I am sort of planning some Teddy/Cress ahead so let's see what happens. ;)

I'd look the chapter over again to see if I could correct the grammar a bit. Thanks for pointing that out!

I'm so glad found this gripping! And this wasn't harsh at all. Thanks for your review, cookies and hugs! ;)


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Review #11, by Veritaserum27 Picking Up The Pieces

27th March 2014:
Nice Job!

This chapter worked really well from Teddy's point of view and I don't agree with you that not much happened. You explained a lot of the back story. I think Gabrielle's illness is tied to this somehow - maybe she is the one that bought the "stuff" from the old man in chapter 1. Hmmm. You've given me much to think about.

The only comment I have is about Teddy's age. I couldn't figure out if he was still school aged - he seemed to be acting much older (dating and breaking up with Victoire), but somewhere in the chapter it mentioned he was 10 when Ginny disappeared and if she's been gone for 5 years that would put him at 15?

Anyway, I think you put the reader in just the right spot regarding Teddy's plight. I really feel for him - and Harry and James too. The wall of family portraits was a nice touch.

Looking forward to the next chapter.


Author's Response: Hi again! It was great to see you back so soon! :D

Well, almost all of the reviewers are telling me that they don't agree with me and nothing much happened here. :P Maybe you're right as the backstory is a lot important. Looks like I'd have to edit my Author's Note! ;)

Ooh, I love theories! :D It was really cool to hear what you thought about Gabrielle's disappearance, though I cannot comment on it yet. :) But I won't deny that her illness is a part of the plot.

Teddy's a Hogwarts graduate and junior Auror. I should add a line or two about his age! But I don't remember writing he was ten when Ginny disappeared.

I'm glad you felt Teddy's pain! It was a bit hard to write you know...

Thanks for the lovely review dear! Hope to see you back for more! :D


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Review #12, by Vk So She Is Back

27th March 2014:
Great chapter! I am really getting the mystery and suspense feel now and I really can't wait for the update. Please update soon! I liked Cress and even Teddy but I'm not sure if they'll fall in love. I mean, why Teddy was ignoring her in the hospital for Ginny? Also he broke up with Victoire. I mean he cares for family not love life. But anyways this was great! :)

Author's Response: Thanks for stopping by Vk! :D

I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter! I've already written like 600 words of the next chapter and the queue is a little long at the moment so I think the update will take a little time... But I promise it will come eventually. :)

Well, I know what you're saying, but I'm totally planning some Teddy/Cress romance in the story. Teddy had just met Cress and he isn't in love with her right now. We'll see what happens!

Thanks for the review!


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Review #13, by Veritaserum27 A Case Worth Waiting For

26th March 2014:
Hi Ashwini,

This was fantastic! I am so excited to read a great mystery and you did a fantastic job setting up the first chapter. Ginny can't be dead! I must keep reading.


Author's Response: Hey Beth! Great to see you around! :)

I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter! The first one is always the most important and it's great that you liked it. :D

Keep reading and you'll find out more about her! :)

Thank you for the lovely review!


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Review #14, by Xoxo So She Is Back

26th March 2014:
I love Cress! She's so Nancy Drew type but has her own vibe at the same time. The suspense is pretty good and so are your descriptions! How do you manage to describe scenes so beautifully? Any tips?
Will be back for more!!

Author's Response: Cress? Nancy Drew? OMG, you just left me blushing... Thank you thank you!! I LOVE Nancy so that's like the best compliment I've received. :D

I'm so so happy you liked the descriptions! Well, I just picture the scene in my mind and write whatever I see. :P Hope that helps! ;)

Thank you so much! Hope to see you back soon!


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Review #15, by LittleWoman So She Is Back

26th March 2014:
Great story and the CI is beautiful! Did you make it??

Author's Response: I'm glad you're enjoying the story!! :D

No, I requested the CI over at TDA and it's made by the lovely artist infinite. :)

Thank you!

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Review #16, by UnluckyStar57 So She Is Back

24th March 2014:
Hello! I'm here to review you, and I'm only about two-ish weeks late! Yay!

So, this chapter just ADDS to the mystery and suspense!! Ginny's back, but the mystery is still unsolved. Whatever shall we do?! I suppose we'll have to wait for the next chapter! :D

Wow, there's a bit of Cress' sticky family situation in this chapter! I can't believe that her mother and sister don't even care that she's the HEAD DETECTIVE, for crying out loud! That's really awful, and I hope that we can get a better explanation for WHY that is! One suggestion that I have about all the family stuff that Cress thinks about: I would kind of like to see it in action!! So perhaps in one of the next chapters, you could show her mom and sister? And maybe a flashback to her earlier years, maybe back to when all of the neglect and not-caring started? I would love to read about it!

I like that you introduced the Weasleys in a way that wasn't info-dumpish, i.e.: "Bill Weasley had long hair and a ponytail. He was wearing long black robes. His wife, Fleur, was a slender woman with blonde hair and a heavy French accent. His daughter, Victoire, was dressed in lime green robes because she was a Healer..." and et cetera. Instead, you sort of introduced them gradually as they spoke. That was a good idea! It would be way too much to read all about the facial features of the Weasleys in one big paragraph--there are too many of them! :D

As far as grammar and spelling are concerned, this chapter looks pretty good. I have two suggestions, though.

1) This sentence: "Being a detective for over two years, she knew how families are when any one of them is ill or in danger, and the Weasleys were quite famous for their huge and caring family." could possibly be improved in its phrasing. Instead of heading up the sentence with "Being a detective for over two years," you could start with a full sentence, something like "She had been a detective for over two years, so she knew how families could be when any one of them was ill or in danger." And then make a separate sentence about the Weasleys.

2) This sentence: "She knew them all- Dominique Weasley who was friends with Cress's little sister Veronica, Louis Weasley, her brother, Charlie Weasley, George Weasley and his wife Angelina." is fine in its grammar, but it could be improved with semicolons between each of the people. That way, we're not confused about who is in the room. I was slightly confused about the "younger sister, Veronica" thing before I realized that Cress was just thinking about how Dominique and Veronica are friends. If you could add some semicolons, that would clear things up! :)

Oooh, the last part of the chapter is so intense! Why is someone targeting Ginny, and why do they want to make her kill Cress? That could definitely present a problem later on, because Cress is the detective who is working on Ginny's case!! Uh oh... What's going to happen?! This chapter has left everything in suspense!!

This was another wonderful chapter!! Keep them coming! :D


Author's Response: Hi! It was lovely to see you! :D

I know I'm plotting too many cliffhangers! But that's the best thing about mysteries according to me, so brace yourself for more!! ;) The next chapter is currently being written so you wouldn't have to wait for a long time I guess. :)

Yup, that girl has some family issues. I promise you will get to know more about them sooner or later, I don't know when.I am planning to add flashbacks in the next chapter, but I don't know how the chapter will turn out. You can never tell what last minute decisions you might take!

I'm glad you liked I didn't describe them that way! It seemed so boring to myself that I couldn't just write it like that. And you guys know about them already! :P

Hmm... I agree with you about both suggestions. Thanks for pointing out! :D

The last part! I rewrote it for like four times, so I'm just happy that turned out well! I am going to add those tiny 'five years ago' bits here and there as hints and clues, so watch out for more. ;)

Thank you so much for another lovely review! You reviews are extremely helpful and they just make my entire day!


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Review #17, by Wish So She Is Back

21st March 2014:
This was a fabulous chapter! The cliffhanger was beautifully written. Please update soon! I'm curious!! :D

Author's Response: I'm so happy you enjoyed this chapter! Currently I'm writing a one-shot so will update soon after finishing and posting it. :)

Thank you for the wonderful review!

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Review #18, by Wee More Than a Clue

20th March 2014:
Good mystery story keep writing.

Author's Response: Thank you! Will surely keep writing. :D

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Review #19, by Ali So She Is Back

20th March 2014:
Ooh cliffhanger?? :D I love them! But I won't love your cliffhangers if you don't update. Just warning. In case. ;)
But this was extremely well written. Especially the flashback part. The fear of Ginny or who she was was beautifully portrayed. :) Loved it as usual!

Author's Response: Yup a cliffhanger! :D And I love them too. That's why they appear here so frequently. ;)
And of course I'll update coz I need your love. :) Thank you so much!!


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Review #20, by MadiMalfoy Picking Up The Pieces

16th March 2014:
Hi there! MadiMalfoy with your requested review!

You asked for plot, characterization, and grammar mainly, so I'll hit those up first, then move on to a more general review. :)

So, plot! In your author's note you mentioned that not a lot happened, but I think you did essentially explain a lot of things that happened in the past. It illuminates events we didn't get in the last chapter and lets us connect more to the characters in the story. This backstory is still technically plot, so it's just adding to the tension of the whole thing in the present, which is really nice to get so much of!

As far as characterization goes, you've got a pretty wide range of characters to write that we don't get much about (i.e. the next generation) plus some marauder era stuff too so you've really got a full plate with them! With Teddy, I think you've done beautifully with him so far considering canonically we are given little about him. The only part I was iffy about was his age--is he still at Hogwarts but just in an older year? Or has he just graduated recently? That could be a little more clear with a simple line; otherwise, he was written very well! :)

Finally, grammar. Through the whole piece, it's fairly decent and consistent, but there are a few parts that could use some proofreading. Some dialogue doesn't make sense or some description is just slightly off kilter to interrupt the flow of the syntax. Other than those few spots, it's pretty great!

This was a phenomenal second chapter and it really sets up for the rest of the story so I'm excited to see where you go with it! Please feel free to re-request whenever you'd like. :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hi MM! :D

Well, I didn't really think a lot happened here, but it's good that you didn't think it was sort of a filler! That makes me feel relieved coz I personally hate these kinds of chapters, especially in mystery stories! :P But here the backstory is very crucial.

Yes, I do hate a plateful of characters to write and I enjoy that! :D It's hard obviously, but when you think about it as a new experiance, it's rather lovely. :) That's why it was included in AoC, so it's cool that you liked the part! As for Teddy, he graduated Hogwarts the year before Ginny went missing and that is revealed in the next chapter. :)

Grammar is something I worry about all the time, as I'm not a native English speaker. So it makes me relieved that you didn't find many grammar mistakes. I'd look for the 'few spots' you mentioned though. :)

Thank you so much for the review! It was really helpful. :) Will surely re-request!


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Review #21, by academica Picking Up The Pieces

14th March 2014:
Hey there, I'm back again from Review Tag!

Well, this was certainly a curious chapter! I'm really interested to see what Gabrielle and Ginny were so afraid of that it would cause such drastic consequences. I get the sense that it's the same thing, maybe something only the two of them knew about or could actually see. And the letter--I can't imagine who would have handwriting like Dumbledore's, and he's dead, so it can't be him--right? Haha. I think it's safe to say that I'm very excited to read more.

I also really liked the way you went through the echoes of Ginny's disappearance and the way it affected others in the family. It was painful to read in places (emotionally, not because of your writing!) but you did a good job of realistically conveying the impact that event would have.

Nice work! Hopefully Teddy and Cress will work well together (although I have my doubts) and solve the mystery of Ginny's location at last.


Author's Response: Hello Amanda! It was great to see you back! :D

Yes, I won't deny that Ginny and Gabrielle were afraid of the same thing. You also can say that whatever it was, no one but they knew and Cress and Teddy have to work it out on their own. And of course the handwriting wasn't Dumbledore's! ;)

That was exactly the purpose of this chapter. I wanted to show the emotional side of the case and Teddy seemed like the perfect idea. Yes, Teddy and Cress will be working together. What doubts do you have? :)

Do come back for more and thanks for the wonderful review!


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Review #22, by CP A Case Worth Waiting For

12th March 2014:
Hi Ashwini! :D I am already intrigued by this story! It has a great suspense keeping plot. Now I want to see where you take this and I hope you keep updating and don't give up. This has a great potential.
Cress has to be the best OC I have come across and she's a bit like those muggle detectives. She seems to have a serious family background though. With her mother and sister?
Will surely be back for more! :D

Author's Response: Hello CP! :D

I'm so glad you found this intriguing and could feel the suspense. I am determined to mark this story 'completed' some day and I'm not planning to give up if I'm getting such amazing response!

Cress- best OC? *blushes* Thank you so much dearr!! :D That's sort of the loveliest compliment ever. :) And yeah, that girl does have a serious family background. :(

Thanks for the awesome review! Hope to see you back for more! :D


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Review #23, by LightLeviosa5443 More Than a Clue

11th March 2014:
Hi Ash! I'm so so so sorry it's taken me this long to get to answering your review request! I'm terrible I know!

I really like this story, and this chapter, especially. I think you've done a really wonderful job. This flowed flawlessly and I really enjoyed how easy it was to read from start to finish. There was no point where I had to double back or got confused. Great job!

You said your main AOC was the mystery building up well, and the cliffhanger at the end. I think both are really well done. Especially the mystery. I really liked the mystery aspect of it. I thought it was really interesting the way the interview went and how everything seemed to be a dead end. How there seemed to be no real answer. Especially Dumbledore's handwriting! What's up with that! I'm so curious!

Just a few CC's that I caught in there that I thought you'd like pointed out:
-"even his smile has the slightest..." It would be had instead of has, just be careful with tenses there
-When Cress was asking questions she says, "...I mean, was she doing job or something?" I would consider rewording that, maybe so it would read "was she working a job", because doing job sounds just a little unnatural.
-Put a period after the italicized "mother" after Teddy has his mini-meltdown and Cress is thinking to herself. That'll do a really good job of seperating it from the other sentences before and after it, like I think you intended it to.
-In Victoire's letter, you say "this very important thing..." I would just put the letter a in between the words this and very, that way it reads more naturally.

Just some minor fixes! :)

I really really loved your characterization of both Teddy and Cress. I enjoyed the voice in which Teddy spoke, and the way he described everything and everyone. I really got a vivid image of how he sees his family, and how much he misses Ginny. It made me feel even worst for both him and Harry. Cress was brilliant, interviewing yet getting caught up in her own thoughts and reminding herself to focus or thinking something related to the case.

Great job! I hope you rerequest! I'm so intrigued with where you're going to go with this story!

xoxo Sarah

Author's Response: Sarah!! :D Of course you're not terrible! *hugs* and as for the late... your review totally made up for it!:D

Yup, I always try to keep my stories simple and easy to understand. I'm glad you liked that!

I was a bit worried that the mystery wasn't really intriguing here so it's good that you didn't think like that. :) The mystery is quite important for this story you know..About the handwriting- it isn't Dumbledore's, really, just someone has tried to write in that way! Oops, did I slip a hint here?? ;)

Teddy and Cress are my personal favourites. I can't wait to begin some Teddy/Cress now that you liked them too! :D

Thanks for the awesome review Sarah! I've re-requested so hope to see you around soon!


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Review #24, by Nimbus2000 So She Is Back

11th March 2014:
Aarghhh!!! Another cliffhanger Ashwini??? :o Please give me answers I mean updates... :(
Anyways this was a great chapter with a little bit of Cress's family background. And I also like that you are connecting her with the case. Well at least it seems like she has some connection with the case by mentioning her in the last part!
Well I love both of your WIPs please update this before you update Just Go With It. :P

Author's Response: I'm so sorry for that Sam!! But I couldn't resist. :P I just love them. ;) But I'll try to update soon as to make up for it.

You're right, Cress does have a family history and she IS connected to the case in some way. You will find out more soon, I promise!

If you say so!! The next chapter of Through The Darkest is going to be written before chapter 8 of Just Go With It for the ever-lovely Sam! :D

Thanks for another lovely review!


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Review #25, by lindslo2012 More Than a Clue

10th March 2014:
Hi Ashwini!
Once again another amazing chapter!
I love Teddy in this one and I feel so bad for him too because he is under all the stress and pressure from his Aunt disappearing. I can't believe there is a possibility they have found her though!
I think you are doing an excellent job on characterization still on Teddy and he seems believable as a person for sure. I wonder very intensely what is going to happen next. I appreciate the fact that you keep your story very addicting and the plot is still intense. :)
It makes me want to read more for sure and that I shall do when you re-request;) I hope that I can get back to it soon!

"I know you are quite angry that I am writing to you, but this is very important thing and you are the first person who should be informed. I cant write much in the letter, so come as soon as you can to St Mungos to the ward Im training in. you might not believe me, but we just found a badly bruised witch on the roads of Hogsmeade and I am quite sure she is none other than Ginny."
That letter gave me the chills! I am scared for Ginny and I hope she turns out to be okay.
Well I hope you re-request again soon!
Until next time,
Great third chapter!

Author's Response: Hello! :D

Aah, I feel bad for that poor guy too! Too much stress to handle for him. But yeah, they have found Ginny. Anyways, the real story starts from the next chapter. Even though Ginny's back there's another mystery to be solved!

I'm so glad you liked the letter! I found it rather hard to phrase perfectly. :)

Thanks for the lovely review dear! :D


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