Reading Reviews for Broken Crown
47 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Emcnary Fragments.

21st August 2016:
Interesting take. Makes me sympathize for Narcissa.

Author's Response: Thanks so much!

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Review #2, by Emcnary Echoes.

21st August 2016:
Aww, I'm a bit sad to see Sirius be upset w her. I like the bit about Sirius being concerned for Regulus, I could see him wanting to save his brother.

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Review #3, by Emcnary Flickers.

21st August 2016:
Oooohhh good! I like to think that Narcissa wasn't always bad. Good job portraying their characters, I think they are spot on.

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Review #4, by Emcnary Scorches.

21st August 2016:
I like the thought of getting to know andromeda better. Oh Bella, bad from the beginning;)

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Review #5, by WS Words.

20th September 2015:
Hey Kiana,

I just wanted to say that this story is gorgeous. You've done a marvellous job and I feel like I was standing by Dromeda the whole way. And this last chapter is definitely my favourite.

I love how how you've shown the relationship between the Black sisters so clearly; if only Dromeda and Cissy could have come together at the end! It's just so sad... And Teddy is adorable, just like Tonks (but not like her at the same time).

Thanks for writing this beautiful piece. I'll just be in a corner with my feels if anybody needs me.

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you for this wonderful review as I had almost forgotten about this story so it's great to see people are still reading it! I'm so glad that you liked and how I explored the Black family as they always intrigued me so much as I could never fully understand the family dynamic so I had a lot of fun exploring it here.

Thanks for this wonderful review, it certainly brought a smile to my face! ♥

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Review #6, by CambAngst Echoes.

5th April 2014:
Hi, Kiana! Review #999 goes to your story, one that I've been meaning to get back to for a while.

Little Nymphadora is so cute in this! She obviously has more of her father in her, except for some of the temperament. She's definitely not patient, more of a Black family trait.

I thought you kept Sirius really age-appropriate in this chapter. He's old enough to have found the anger that characterizes his relationship with his parents, but he's still young enough to believe that certain things can be changed. He probably still thinks of Bella a lot like his parents: twisted and full of hate, but ultimately harmless. He has no idea what Bella's become, what she's capable of. So he asks something of Andromeda that she can't possibly give him.

Andromeda has also aged nicely into motherhood. As much as she'd like to help Sirius and as much as her estrangement from her sister pains her, she is committed to her daughter. She knows that she can't put herself at risk, not when Ted and Nymphadora need her.

Andromeda is shutting off a part of her life. -- Indeed she is, but she's doing it for all the right reasons. That doesn't make it feel any better, but she's got her priorities straight, no matter how much she wishes that things were different.

Which leads to Sirius's outburst. Again, it sounded exactly like him. Stubborn, single-minded, uncompromising and quick to anger. Not at all surprising.

It's nice that she hasn't completely given up on Narcissa. Perhaps she should have by now, but she hasn't. I guess we'll see soon.

I saw a few typos as I was reading:

Even during sleep she talks. Andromeda watches her now, the way she carefully picks up the apple, analysing ever bump of it before deciding whether it will be eaten or not. -- analysing every bump

‘Talk to her, make her change your mind. You’re her sister; you can make her do it. I know you can do it. She might listen to you.’ -- make her change her mind

Waiting to see how it suites you and serves you best. Never really wanting to help.’ -- how it suits you

She is about the only Black who may be able to save them, the only one who has a heart. -- able to save him

Great chapter! I shall return soon...

Author's Response: Dan, I feel so honoured getting review #999, so thank you so much for choosing me and this story!

Haha, yes writing Tonks and Sirius was strange in this as I tend to write them both in their Hogwarts era self, so stepping back in time was a fun experiment with them both. I'm so glad that you liked Sirius here though as he's in such a strange place, a child, yet left his home, an adult, but still so unsure of the world, which as you said is why he ended up at Andromeda's. I think that's why I loved writing this scene so much as we don't really know much about the two of them at this time so I would like to think of her having some motherly role.

Andromeda was strange to write here too, because while she and I both wanted her to be that rebellious middle child, the one who shaped the Black family she couldn't. I'm glad you agreed with her priorities because I was worried people would be angry she wasn't going out to fight for him and she was just sitting there, but I suppose we all need to step back at some point.

Yes, Sirius and Narcissa are both explored a lot more in next chapter, Narcissa especially so you get to find out more about how Andromeda wraps up things with them.

Thanks for spotting those typos, it reminds me I probably should go about editing the whole story now it's completed and sat around for a while. :P

Thanks for such a fantastic review, Dan, and congrats on making 1,000 reviews!


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Review #7, by Celestialbattlefield Words.

21st March 2014:
Your story waa very unique beautifully written and exciting to read... I get to see the crust and guilt you explored of andromedas escape..
I guess none of the black sisters won in the end

Author's Response: I'm so glad that you liked this story, it's probably my favourite because I really got to explore a character throughout all of their life. You're definitely right about none of them winning either, even though they had this fairytale sort of start! Thanks for this fab review :D

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Review #8, by LilyLou Scorches.

9th January 2014:
Hi! Here for our review swap!

This is different, I have to say. There aren't too many stories out there about the three sister, Andromeda in particular. This is a great start to your short story collection!

I love how naive Andromeda and Cissy are. Naturally, Bella isn't nearly as naive, although she still seems to believe the lies her mother feeds her. Of course, every small child does.

Lucius was so adorable! He was terrified! And that is completely believable, given the fact that he's a coward throughout everything JK describes. So I think you wrote him well.

I love how you mentioned the burns, and the heads, and the portrait of Pollux and Irma. I have a story with them in it right now, actually, so it's nice to see that you remembered to mention them.

What a lovely story!


Author's Response: Hi Janelle!

I know, I think that's why I wanted to write it because they've always been a family interest me and here was a chance to explore them a little more.

I'm glad that you liked all of them in their younger selves. It was so much fun to write because I had to base their characterisation on their later selves which was a little different.

Yes, including all those little Black things was actually a lot of fun so it's great to hear you liked them!

Thanks for the great review!


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Review #9, by Lululuna Words.

7th January 2014:
Hi Kiana! :D Here for Day 12 of the 12 Days of Reviewing!

Sad. :( I knew this moment was coming ever since I started reading the story but it still wasn't any less painful. I hate how Teddy and Andy are left alone like this (though at least they have each other) and it really breaks my heart to think of them keeping the memories of the lost ones alive, and how Teddy has so much trouble understanding and sometimes forgets that his parents are dead. I imagine that would be so difficult for a baby to wrap his head around, but you did a really good job here showing how Teddy copes with his loss and showing how much Andy loves him, that part did make me so happy. ♥

In a way, the part which almost hurt me more was thinking about Ted being gone. The way Andy talked to him, how he was her other half and her anchor and how she wished he was there, was really tragic, and his death in the books felt so injust and horrible. Oh, speaking of the books, I loved the acknowledgement of the first time Andy and Harry met and how things have changed since then, I've read a lot of stories where they just sort of jump into being really close, but I imagine it would take some time and recognition of the first impression. So that was really great. :)

I really enjoyed the tie-ins with the rest of the collection as well, especially the sisters. I remember commenting on the way Andy referred to Bellatrix as "Bella" and the idea that Bella is gone now was a wonderful reference and fit so well with the contrast between Andy's new and old lives. The idea of her leaving Cissy and the guilt she clearly still feels for doing that, as well as the connection between Teddy and Cissy both relying on her, was a fantastic parallel as well.

The one thing I thought was whether Andy would refer to Tonks as "Tonks"? I thought she usually called her Dora or Nymphadora (since she most likely chose the name I imagine she'd be more stubborn about using it than others :P). So just a thought there! :)

Ooh, I really liked the last line. It was a perfect way to end the story and declare how the crown was a curse, like the first Andromeda being chained to a rock, and how Ted freed her from it. The idea of her reigning by herself was a wonderful addition as well, I liked the hint of strength and hope it brought.

Amazing job, lovely! :) I really enjoyed reading this story!

Author's Response: I know what you mean, because I felt as if I had to include this part of her life given how defining it is but actually writing is was really horrible and heart-breaking. I almost wonder why I bothered to put myself through that willing! I'm so glad that you liked Teddy and his relationship with Andromeda. I think there's must have been one of the strongest around given that they were each other's world and all they others had and they must have loved each other very deeply.

Gah, I can't even cope with Ted's death but I think JK almost had to do it to show that even though she had everything taken from her she carried on going and living and what a strong person she was. Haha, I had to include that because it still makes me chuckle and I really wish it had been in the films, because it would have felt as if a full circle had occurred. I like to think they both bonded over their intense dislike of Bellatrix and lack of family or something similar.

I'm glad that you liked the parallels because I think in this scene here it was one of the first time's Andromeda realised this life right now was her life and she couldn't change that at all. I think with Cissy, she's sort of accepted they can never be friends again but she'll make it up with Teddy, and I'm so glad that you picked out that because no one else had done so so far and I hoped someone would do.

Ooh, I actually don't know why I put Tonks there to be honest. I think it's because I had a Remus/Tonks story and I started to get a little confused, I definitely will change it as it makes sense.

Yay for you picked out the mythological link too, I couldn't resist throwing that in. :P

Thank you for such an amazing review, and the others too, it was great fun to read your views on the story!


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Review #10, by adluvshp Scorches.

2nd January 2014:
Hey! Here for the review exchange from TGS! I am awfully sorry once again for the time it has taken me to get here. Wish you a belated Happy New Year's though! :)

This short story collection is very unique and interesting and I totally love your concept. I have not read much of Andromeda so your take on her, in her various stages of life, is going to be a treat to read, and this first chapter certainly didn't disappoint.

I think you did a great job in writing this from a little girl's point of view, the writing style, thought patterns, dialogue etc. all matched it. Your portrayal of Andromeda, of how she stands up to Bella and doesn't want to marry Lucius and worries for Narcissa, was very nicely done. It showed a glimpse of how her personality will develop as she grows up and it was great.

I also liked the brief appearance of Lucius. He is so different from the Lucius we see as an adult and yet this scared little boy is still in there somewhere inside him, and I loved how you focused on the little boy here which we know he'll grow to hide - I hope this sentence made some sense xP Nonetheless, I really liked the way you wrote him.

The entire pureblood-mudblood scenario was also touched upon nicely. The little details such as Andromeda's "friendliness" towards house-elves also showed her character and somewhat foreshadowed the kind of nice woman she'll grow up to be, so it was all pretty good.

I don't have any CC for you. The grammar, flow, dialogue, characterisation, and overall narrative was really good and made for an interesting and good read. I'm surely going to read the next chapter when I get the time.

Great job! Keep writing!

Author's Response: Hey Aditi! Don't worry about the wait, I knew you were with your family and it's important that you spend time with them!

I'm glad that you liked the concept of it because Andromeda and the Black family as a whole have always interested me because the relationship changes of the siblings are rarely looked into, and Andromeda always seems to be cut off when she leaves home so I wanted to show a new side to that.

It was actually a ton of fun writing from that perspective, so it's great that you liked it. I think the best thing was trying to figure out how Andromeda would be beginning to rebel against her family while still be a caring sister and child, so yay for it working!

Haha, that sentence does make sense so don't worry at all. I think given his high levels of self-preservation witnessed in both of the wars, he must have been rather timid as a child because he knew what being on the wrong side was like, so that was almost a second nature to him.

Oh yes, the foreshadowing :P I suppose the friendliness to the house elves sort of came from Regulus and Kreacher too because Kreacher was the one who allowed him to finally redeem himself.

Thanks for a great review, and if you do ever have time it would be great to read more of your views on the story!


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Review #11, by nott theodore Words.

2nd January 2014:
Aw, this was definitely my favourite chapter so far! Each of these chapters has just kept getting better, and I think it's great that this one is the best of them all, because you've written it in a way that will make sure I remember, and has left a lasting impression.

This chapter felt a lot more reflective than the others, which was fitting considering the events that have happened in Andromeda's life, and also the fact that she's visiting the graves of her daughter and son-in-law and her husband. I felt really sorry for her when I thought about just how much she has lost in this war that she tried to get away from.

Teddy was such an adorable kid in this chapter! It must be hard for her to take him along, and I liked the detail that you mentioned about him not always remembering that he didn't have parents. There's nothing easy in this situation, there are no winners, and Teddy tracing his mother's name was so heartbreaking! I did like the inclusion of him still being a playful child though, and his hair changing colour the way that it did. It was as if some of Tonks and Remus was still there, despite the fact they were lying in their graves. In fact the way that you used description and colour in the whole of this chapter was really effective and beautiful.

When Andromeda was talking to Remus and Tonks it was so heartbreaking! The emotion felt really raw and it was really realistically written, and you made me feel so emotional. It just reminded me of how upset I got when I was reading the books and watching the films, because it's so awful that they both died and left Teddy without any parents.

I really enjoyed the deeper introspection in this chapter, and I think it was really effective. I felt like Andromeda had definitely come to terms with her past and who she is much more than any other point in the story, even though she's lost so much. The mentions of her age taking effect and how Harry was starting to help more and become a bigger part of their lives were really nice details too. I think my favourite thing was how you tied everything in to the title Broken Crown, and ended the story on a note of hope.

Brilliant story, Kiana, and it's been really lovely to read!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hey Sian! I'm so glad that you liked this one because it was very hard writing this given that I had to deal with Andromeda grieving and then my grief for Remus, Tonks and Ted appearing now and then too :P

I'm glad that you picked up on the reflective tone, because I think the second war really rammed home to Andromeda what a good choice she made to get while she could, and took away all those regrets she may have had at her mother's funeral. I know, she really did suffer the most out of all the people because she lost all her family through and it made she and Cissy even more divided.

Aw, Teddy, writing him here made me feel even more sorry for him. I never thought about the aspect of it being hard for Andromeda to take him around with her but it really must be as he doesn't remember anything and still has a chance of happiness. Aw, I always imagined Teddy being the next Tonks so I'm glad that you liked the bit about his hair changing colour. Gah, I can't even comment on Remus and Tonks without nearly blubbering up it's so sad. I can't cope with it all really :'( I'm glad that you liked the use of colour, because this whole family was so colourful so it seemed to make sense to include it.

I'm so glad that you thought the scene with Andromeda talking to the two of them was well written because I really wanted to get it right as they're my OTP. I guess the only thing I can say to cheer us both up is that at least Teddy had his grandmother whereas Harry had no one apart from Petunia who didn't really love him. :(

I'm glad that you felt that through the refection, Andromeda had almost found herself and who she wanted to be through it all. At least their deaths brought about one positive thing for them all. I really wish I could explore her and Harry's bond sometime, because I imagine he would have been very influential over Teddy given how he wanted him to have a different life to his, and how he knew his parents and yeah.

I'm going to have to cut this response off here because it's too sad thinking about all the dead people. Thank you for this amazing review, Sian, and all the other ones too! ♥


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Review #12, by nott theodore Fragments.

2nd January 2014:
I think this is my favourite chapter so far, too! This works so well as a short story with the way that you're spanning all of Andromeda's life in just a few chapters. Each scene you choose to show is really effective and adds a lot to her character and the story in general.

At the beginning I felt really sorry for Andromeda, especially when she was thinking about what all of her family had done. Her helplessness shone through here because there was so much regret and disappointment, feeling like she should have been able to stop them but her separation from them made that impossible. I think the bit about Sirius was what struck me most, because in the last chapter Andromeda felt bad for not being able to help him help Regulus, but here she was so angry with him. I think it's important that you included that detail, actually, because it reminded me of how the whole wizarding world would think of Sirius. After reading the third book for the first time, I think some of the effect about how bad a person Sirius is supposed to be is lost, and it was great that you reminded me of it here.

I also love the fact that Andromeda went to her mother's funeral, and that Narcissa told her about it. Something you've shown really well throughout this story so far is that family is never simple, and even when people fall out it's impossible to forget those bonds and links forged by blood and early upbringing, no matter what's happened. There's so much internal conflict caused by this sort of thing and I liked the way that was clear in this chapter.

The ending scene was possibly my favourite so far, because I loved the fact that it showed another side to Andromeda leaving her family. It really made me smile (in a strange way) to see the fact that you'd considered how her escape would affect Narcissa, especially when she was younger.

Here I could see the Narcissa that we know from the books, who is cold and distant, but has done what she has to to make sure that her family is safe and survives. I do believe that she and Lucius loved each other, and she definitely loves Draco, so I can see in a way how she would learn to accept - or turn a blind eye to - Lucius's involvement in the Death Eaters. But I could actually feel sorry for her when she talked about being left behind - being abandoned - by Andromeda, which is possibly the first time I've ever felt like that about Narcissa. It suddenly became easy to see it from her point of view as she was explaining it, because I can understand that she'd feel like Andromeda didn't love her family if she could leave them so easily. I'm really impressed by the way that you managed to communicate Narcissa's side of the story here, and I kind of felt more sorry for her than I did Andromeda at the end of this chapter.

Aw, that mention of the letter! ♥ I'm wondering if that could have been something to do with Regulus finally realising that he needed to get out of the Death Eaters, and I'm glad that he did turn away from Voldemort in the end - it kind of seems like a small victory for Sirius, Andromeda and Narcissa, who have each tried to do something for them in their own way.

Sian :)

Author's Response: Haha, I'm still tied between whether this or the next one is my favourite. I'm probably a little too morbid because it always seems as if the chapters which mention death are my favourite ones :P

I know what you mean about Andromeda's family, because at least before she didn't have to think that they were all tainted by the dark brush as she had Sirius, but he's lost to her too now. Even with Regulus, she never learnt about what he did, so it's almost as if she has no one to cling to at all and it really saddens me. I'm glad that you liked the whole 'everyone's hates Sirius thing', it's almost worse for him because he lost absolutely everything just for something he didn't even do. Gah, the Black family is also insanely sad and addictive :P

I'm glad you picked up on the blood link, because even though Narcissa claims she invited her because of their mother, I would like to think that deep down she wanted her sister to be there as the last remnant of her childhood before all is forgotten. It really makes me wonder whether Bella would have been included if she had left the Longbottoms alone.

I'm glad that you liked the ending scene, because I really enjoyed writing because I never anticipated exploring the conflict between Andromeda and Narcissa when I began to write this.

Yes, I think here, she finally turned because the war sort of made her have to close off everything in order to carry on loving Lucius and keeping everyone safe. Yay, someone can have nice Narcissa thoughts :P It was a first for me too, because usually I hate her and want to throw things at her, but in a way the fallout with the sisters perhaps caused her to be like that. Haha, I think I felt sorry for her too, because like Narcissa pointed out, Andromeda has the chance to seek forgiveness whereas Narcissa knows that she will never have that.

Yes, the letter! I couldn't resist, because the family ties were so important to Narcissa it made sense to me that she would try and attempt to do something at least! I'm so glad that you liked the outcome of it and thank you for an amazing review, Sian, you're the best!


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Review #13, by nott theodore Echoes.

2nd January 2014:
Hello again, Kiana! I'm trying hard to catch up on reviewing your stories - you definitely deserve some reviews for being such an awesome person!

Ah, I think my favourite thing about this chapter was seeing young Tonks in it - it was strange to read about her called Nymphadora, but I really enjoyed reading about her from Andromeda's point of view. I could see glimpses here of the character in Against All Odds, and it's really interesting to think about how she developed from this little girl into the woman we see later on.

I liked the fact that Andromeda's priorities had clearly changed by this chapter - obviously her life has completely changed since we last saw her making her escape with Ted. She can't help caring about her family, but the new family that she's created with Ted is now the most important thing for her, which makes me feel like she's become the person we see in the books, who wants her daughter to stay out of the war because she wants to protect her. Seeing her like this, and thinking about what she's done to keep her daughter out of danger and get away from the pureblood prejudices, makes me feel really sorry for her because it all ended so badly.

Your characterisation here was really brilliant, I thought. I could really see development in Sirius's character too, even though he only appeared briefly in the last chapter. He's not the boy he was there anymore, but he's also not the bitter man that we encounter in the books. His desperation here was evident, and I felt really sorry for him as he was asking for Andromeda's help to save Regulus. In a way I can see he's happier now that he's broken free from his family, but like Andromeda, he can't help still caring about them, especially Regulus. I felt like you showed us really well here how desperate he must have felt about seeing Regulus descend into the darkness (this story is reminded me of a few of the different ones you've written so far). He's still quite naive though, in thinking that Bella will do something for Andromeda still - something he couldn't be accused of later on in the books, so he clearly learns the hard way. I can understand him trying to do what he can to save Regulus, and I can understand his reactions when Andromeda replies the way she does, too. When I was reading the interactions between Sirius and Tonks and Sirius and Andromeda, I could see links with Against All Odds - especially the part about Tonks not going to 12 Grimmauld Place and things like that. I love seeing links between stories like that!

Andromeda surprised me a little bit in the end, and I think she must really care for both Regulus and Sirius to go to the lengths of writing to her sister, especially after what Narcissa told her when she and Ted escaped. I'm not really optimistic for it bringing any good results, but I hope that it might do something. Then again, with the title of this story, it doesn't seem promising!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hi Sian!

Haha, yes it was really strange writing her at this age and from another perspective because the only time I've written her is in AAO, so it was rather fun mixing it up :P I'm glad that you spotted the likenesses, because I do have to admit her later characterisation heavily influenced the one here.

I'm glad that you picked up on the change, because I think that need to protect her family was really evident in the Deathly Hallows when she accosts Harry demanding whether Tonks was alright or not, and that almost anger in her while asking always left an impression upon me. I know what you mean about it being so sad, because after this war they probably thought it was all over and how wrong they all were!

Aw, thank you *blushes*! Sirius, again, was probably influenced by AAO, because while he's very bitter there, there's still this childlike hope that he can save the world and protect everyone and thing so experimenting with that idea was a lot of fun. Haha, yes, I suppose the influences from Burning Bright come into this chapter too :P I've always loved his and Regulus' relationship because it's always open to your own interpretation as to how they ended up feeling towards the other, so I couldn't but explore it again. Writing the Black family is far too addictive :P

Yes, she surprised myself too, because even though I wrote this she led the ending and caused the letter to happen as I didn't anticipate it to at the beginning. Hmm, well you know the outcome of it now, but I suppose they were sort of bright :P

Thanks again for such a great review, Sian!


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Review #14, by nott theodore Memories.

1st January 2014:
Hello again, lovely!

This was another great chapter! I really like the way that this story is developing, and I think that you've paced it really well. There are definite changes in the characters in each chapter, and you don't have to tell us explicitly that time is passing with each one.

First, I have to talk about Sirius... I don't think that I've ever read a more adorable version of him! I love the character that you captured here, a young boy (I think he'd be about first year here, if I'm right?) who plays up his confidence and outgoing nature in front of his friends and most of his family, but who can't help being insecure and scared about what's going to happen to him when he goes home. I was really happy that Andromeda tried her best to reassure him and promised to look after him. It's really horrible to think that a boy who's so young should have to worry about his parents punishing him for something that isn't really even his choice. I loved seeing him and James together and I thought you wrote them really well. It made me smile a lot!

You also got Andromeda and Ted's plan to escape just right, I think. I could tell from the beginning that they were planning something, and Andromeda's thoughts at the beginning of the chapter felt right for what she was planning to do. It wasn't exactly that she was doubting what she was about to do, because it felt like she'd already made up her mind, but there was definite regret as she thought about Narcissa. I think that in a way, the fact that Bella had already gone down the wrong path might have helped her decision because she knew there was nothing she could do - and Narcissa has clearly chosen to stick with Lucius, no matter what he does in the future. The characters here are much more like the ones that we see in the books and I really like the way you've developed them through this story in a way that's actually really subtle - you haven't shown really obvious changes or made it blatant, despite the fact each chapter skips forward in time.

Ted and Andromeda are so cute together! I love the way that you wrote their escape plan and the fact that Ted's parents are so welcoming and accommodating for the two of them. It really highlights the differences between the Black family and the Tonks family, and the way that prejudices can affect them. Even though Andromeda does seem to regret the way she'll leave her family and not be in touch with them in the future, there's definite hope and some excitement here for her future with Ted, away from all of the prejudice in her family. I'm glad that she will at least get a few years of happiness, even if her life isn't the easiest one!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hi Sian!

I'm glad that you liked the overall structure and pacing of the story. This was my first short story collection so it was rather odd trying to make a story yet each chapter wasn't explicitly allowed to relate to the previous, so I'm so glad that you found it worked.

Aw, thank you! Yes, he is a first year, so I'm glad that you managed to realise that :P It was rather fun showing both the sides of Sirius, because though he and James were very close at this stage, he obviously felt that his family life was too twisted it to be revealed to anyone but the people who already knew about it. I know what you mean about his youth and innocence, to have an 11 year old worry whether his parents will bully him for his house choice is so sad, if only he and James could just play around all day it would have been fine!

Haha, I'm glad that you liked the mini bits of foreshadowing earlier on in the chapter, because it sorts of reflects what Sirius does later on. I'm glad that you picked up on her thoughts about her sister as you're the first to do so, so I'm glad that someone did :P I think the Black sisters are so interesting for exactly those reasons pointed out, they were raised the same way with the same parents but all three of them turned out so differently to the others and I really wanted to show that difference in Andromeda's thoughts.

Yes, I didn't realise how much I loved the pairing before writing this because they really are so romantic with being so in love that Andromeda defies her family for him :P Haha, yes you're definitely right with the limited years of happiness, because the Black family never seems to have a lot of that stuff around. Unfortunately, as you already know, this is the last 'happy' chapter, but it was nice to explore a calmer year for the two of them.

Thanks for such an amazing review, Sian! ♥


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Review #15, by nott theodore Flickers.

1st January 2014:
Kiana! I've not reviewed properly for so long and I've been trying to get back to this story for ages (also, you need to stop being such a fast writer, because you know I'm already struggling to keep up :P). This was another great chapter! I've never read more than a one-shot about Andromeda before, but I really liked the way that this is written.

The contrasts in this chapter were really effective. The beginning had definite undertones of fear and worry, and it made it quite tense to read about Andromeda and Ted spending time together in Hogwarts, where any of Andromeda's family could see her. I kept expecting something to happen, and someone to discover them, and that must be the way that she felt about the situation, so you communicated that really well with your writing. But it was also really sweet to see the two of them together, and the fact that he'd told his parents about her made me aww a bit! I could see glimpses of why Andromeda risked so much to meet with Ted in the first place as well.

The second section was a real contrast to the beginning, because it had a lot more overt tension, and things felt a lot more serious. I liked the fact that you'd skipped forward quite a few years and I could see the change in Cissy especially, because of that. She's definitely stronger, and more prepared to stand up for herself, like with the names - or at least, she attempts to! I really felt sorry for Andromeda here because she could see that Narcissa was sort of slipping into the hands of the Death Eaters as well, and she already knows that Bella's beyond help. It was nice to see Cissy so against killing people because of their blood status, although it means that I'm interested to see how you develop that over the course of this story, because obviously she comes to accept it when she's married to Lucius.

This was a great chapter, Kiana, and I'll be back for the next one soon!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Sian! Haha, it's fine and sorry about the fast updated it's what happens when you do NaNo and have a ton of stuff waiting to be posted :P I hadn't read more about her before this, so writing this was a ton of fun!

I'm glad that you liked the contrasts in this chapter, because Andromeda's life is full of them. Haha, I thought about someone stumbling across them but then I thought that they get so few happy moments in their life that denying them this one would be too cruel. I'm so glad that you liked seeing them together and it wasn't too fluffy or anything, because writing these two somehow manages to fall into the fluff category very easily :P

I'm glad that you liked the change, because I almost had more fun writing Cissy in different stages of her life than I did with Andromeda because the influences on her are so evident. I'm glad that you liked both sides of Cissy with the whole purebloods will rule thing but then the abhorring murder too, because I would like to think that she did have some sort of conscious down there :P Hmm, don't be so sure of her acceptance (well, in this story anyway), I played with it a little because I really want to make her a good character deep down!

Thanks for such a great review, Sian, and for all the others one too!


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Review #16, by marauderfan Flickers.

1st January 2014:
For day 6 of the 12 Days of Reviewing

Kiana ♥ ♥ I'm a horrible person, I meant to catch up on this ages ago. But fortunately the review challenge gave me the opportunity to read more so here I am!

I really like the way you've written the beginning of Andromeda and Ted's relationship - her cautious, him understanding, she's constantly on the lookout for her family finding out, he wants his family to meet her. It's sweet. And omg Ted running after her, that was really cute!

Yes, but you'll always be a baby to the two of us. -- I loved this! As different as Andromeda and Bellatrix are, and as much as they try to deny their relation to each other, they ARE sisters and sometimes it shows. I really appreciate that you put that in.

Aw, I want to tell Andromeda that there is still hope, Narcissa's not completely gone yet! :( But of course, I guess after Andromeda leaves Hogwarts that removes the good angel from Narcissa's shoulder, so to speak, and Narcissa's back to only bad influence again. I've always thought Narcissa was a really easily influenced person.

Great chapter! I'm so glad I got to come read this again and I'll be back for more :)

Author's Response: Kristin! It's more than fine with you moving soon, it must be hard to keep up with everything :P

I'm so glad that you liked it and found it cute, usually I stay well clear of all things fluffy but with these two it somehow seemed to come naturally which was a nice surprise :)

I know what you mean about them sometimes accepting that they are siblings. I almost wish I got to write from Bella's perspective and see what she thought because I can't help but wonder whether it would have been the same or not.

I know what you mean about Narcissa being easily influenced, and that idea of her being like that and Andromeda being the good influencer but then leaving plays a part later on.

Thanks for such a great review Kristin! ♥


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Review #17, by BookDinosaur Scorches.

1st January 2014:
Hello Kiana! I'm here for the Sixth of the Twelve Days of Reviewing Challenge over at the forums. :) I've been meaning to read this anyway, so the Challenge is a good thing now.

I really like that you've written this about Andromeda, she's such an amazing character but I don't see many stories about her here, and her life story is really interesting. I love how you've characterised her, she seems intelligent and witty but you also did a great job getting across how young she was. I felt really bad for her when her mother just told her that she was goon g to get married to Lucius and ignored what she had to say, it was perfect for the someone of the Black House to do to their daughter.

The way you had Bella already preaching to Cissy and Andromeda about blood purity and muggleborns was very canon but it also made me really sad because it shows us how little childhood that the Black sisters had, from the youngest age imaginable they were lectured and the belief that pure bloods were better were instilled into them and I couldn't really blame them for following their parents' instructions and it makes me respect Andromeda all the more, because of course she's one of the rare people who realise that this belief is wrong and she breaks away from the household.

I really liked how meek and submissive Cissy is towards her older sister, and how scared and snivelling Lucius is - when they came out in the sixth book and defied the Dark Lord for the love of their son was so important to me, and I think that if they had been a little stronger, a little less submissive, they might have had the courage to defy the family rules as well, they might have seen how wrong it was. How sad. :(

I really loved your little mention of Uncle Alphard! I remember Sirius talked about him, and it makes sense that he would be known throughout the family as a madman.

I really can't wait to read on from here, I think one of the most fascinating things here would be the development of Andromeda and I can't wait to see how that turns out! Great work, Kiana! :D

Author's Response: Hey Emily! Yes, the reviewing challenge was great for that, which reminds me I need to do the one for today still :P

I'm so glad that you liked her and my characterisation of her, because she's always been such a background pivotal character (if that even makes sense...) in my opinion so it was nice to finally explore that side to her. Yes, sadly the Black family don't tend to go for love and all that jazz, but I tired to show how Cissy and Andromeda could change that in this story.

Haha, I know what you mean about Bella's actions and it almost reminded me of what the Nazis did to the children too. Well, when you look at it there are lots of links between the Nazis and the Death Eaters which all tie in really well with the other points you made about them not knowing what else to do other than follow. I know, I can't help but feel proud of her too, but it does make me wonder whether she would have done the same if she hadn't found Ted or not :P

Those two do rather like energy in this chapter, don't they? I suppose they always sort of did what they thought would serve them best, apart from in the 6th and 7th book and it was nice to see that there was something more of substance there ;P

Haha, every family always has the odd mad one in it. I'm so glad that you liked this chapter, and it was really interesting to read all of your comments for it.

Thanks for such a great review Emily :D


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Review #18, by vanityfair Words.

20th December 2013:
A wonderful last chapter, it was nice to see Remus and Tonks' death from a different perspective, one with more hope. The descriptions were lovely and made me cry. This was a very beautiful story that I loved a lot. Maia xxx

Author's Response: I'm glad that you liked the different interpretation of their death, it was strange to write it from this light but almost fun in a morbid way too. Thanks for being wonderful for another story of mine, you are the best!

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Review #19, by CambAngst Memories.

19th December 2013:
Hello, again!

This chapter felt like a momentous occasion was in progress. Andromeda was once and for all taking her freedom from the House of Black. She's an adult and she's choosing her own path. I loved the bittersweet quality the first section had to it. She's feeling the anxiety and the excitement about her pending freedom, but also the worry and regret. I really liked the way she worries for Narcissa and what will become of her little sister once she's no longer there to counter Bella's influence. It's kind of horrible that she puts her faith in Lucius to keep Cissy from turning dark.

The ends of her lips crease downwards in a frown at the thought. She will never see her family again. -- Wow. When you put it like that...

Sirius was adorable in this. He's so young still and carefree and innocent in a way. But he already knows enough to worry about how his mother is going to take the news of his sorting. It was so kind of her to offer to help him. Also sets up what's coming in the next chapter rather nicely.

The last section was bittersweet, but in a different way from the first one. She seems so genuinely happy in spite of all of her worries. The two of them truly love one another. Then that second-to-last sentence, gah! Andromeda can remember each time he has said that too, every day, time, setting. She reckons this time has to be one of the best times out of them all though. Too bad her opportunities will be prematurely cut short. :(

Awesome chapter! No typos or anything that I could see. Until next time!

Author's Response: Hi Dan!

I'm really glad that you picked up on the bittersweet air within Andromeda. I think the biggest worry for her is not that will she ever fall out of love with Ted, but will she manage to maintain that bond she has with Narcissa. Those two have such an odd relationship with them going through bouts of caring and then being enemies. I suppose because of that, Andromeda knows she has to try and trust Lucius because her influence on her sister is limiting.

Haha, with that line I mean her family minus Bella :P

I felt so bad writing him like that because I wanted to preserve him like that and not let him grown any older because all the horrible stuff happens. Yes, that bit of foreshadowing with the family was fun :P

I know what you mean! I really should just stick to writing next gen because happy endings can always occur then unlike in the other eras where death always seems to present in one way or the other.

Thanks for an awesome review, and I can't wait to see what you think of the rest!


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Review #20, by CambAngst Flickers.

18th December 2013:
Hi, Kiana! One more chapter before bed, I think.

You did a great job with Ted and Andromeda's secret interludes. It was very sweet the way that you wrote them. Ted comes off as sort of a lovable lunkhead, although in many ways he's more practical than Andromeda. He's plainly more of a risk-taker, although he doesn't seem to understand just how dangerous Andromeda's family can be. It's sad to stop and realize that this sort of attitude might someday be the thing that gets him killed. Nevertheless, it was obvious how smitten he is with her. Having him chase her down in the corridor was a good testament to that.

I thought you struck a good balance with Narcissa in this chapter. You can see the signs that she's growing up. She's starting to take herself more seriously, not wanting to be called by the pet name of her childhood. And she's starting to be a bit more like Bella, which is sad. I liked that her concern for Bella didn't have anything to do with the Dark Lord's aims being wrong. She seems to agree with his philosophy on muggles and muggle-borns. Rather, she doesn't want Bella to be tarnished by committing acts of violence and murder. There's a very genuine concern there, one that rings true to the Narcissa Malfoy who's wiling to sacrifice everything to protect her family so many years later. She also still seems a bit fragile -- needing to stop and catch her breath when she's upset, for instance -- and that is a good reminder of her relatively young age and aristocratic upbringing.

There is nothing to be done. Nothing she can think of. It’s not that she wants to give up on Bella, they are sisters after all. Though in a case like this it’s hard to even decide where to begin. -- That's a really good way to put it. It seems as though Bella chose her destiny a long time ago and Narcissa is finally realizing what Andromeda has known for a long time.

Soon, she'll fade and never light up again. Soon, she'll be like Bella. -- It's nice to realize that Andromeda wasn't completely right about her younger sister.

I noticed a few things that might be typos as I was reading. Oddly enough, they're all in the same paragraph:

She waves her hand at him while heading down the set of stairs; if her mother finds about this she’ll have a fit. -- finds out about this

Most of the people she knows will have a fit if they find out about them, now she thinks about it. -- now that she thinks about it

Turning the corning, a stampede of footsteps can be heard heading towards her. -- Turning the corner

Otherwise, splendid writing as always! I'm really enjoying what you're doing here.

Author's Response: Hi again!

I'm glad that you liked Ted because it was rather fun making him the fluffy one out of the two when that role is usually delegated to the woman. I'm glad that you picked up on how he didn't realise how dangerous the Blacks were. I would like to think that he did realise later on that they were capable of murder, it's just he seems so nice that he almost wouldn't want to realise that people were capable of that.

I know what you mean about the pet name, but that is the downfall of Andromeda with never really taking her sister seriously and always calling her Cissy and this is sort of addressed in chapter five. I'm glad that you picked up Cissy's peculiar character. I guess it just shows the mixture of Bella and Andromeda's influence upon her with the pureblood ideas in her, but then the compassion that Andromeda gave her.

Yes, it is a nice case of someone being proved wrong. I suppose Andromeda only really thought that because she had her Ted who could lead her away from this and to happy times, whereas Cissy only has Lucius who really isn't a beacon of hope.

Thanks for pointing those typos out, there are always some which slip past me. I'll edit them out as soon as I finish this response. :)

Thanks for another great review, Dan :D


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Review #21, by CambAngst Scorches.

18th December 2013:
Hi, Kiana! I've been meaning to read this for a while. I love a good story about the Black sisters. Their life is like a completely twisted fairy tale.

Ah, so Andromeda was meant to be betrothed to Lucius in your imagining of things. I like the idea, actually. With his pureblood bigotry, he's definitely the type that would have eventually driven her away no matter what. Here, however, he seems so small and helpless. Frightened out of his wits, really, which is probably how I would have been at that age if my mom had taken me to visit people who decorate their home with house elf taxidermy.

Apart from Bella who is a lost cause. Father often says that about Bella. -- That line cracked me up. In general, I love the sense of humor you've given Andromeda. It's age-appropriate and really very clever. Also dry, which I think is a perfect match for the middle daughter of the hopelessly screwed up and Ancient House of Black.

Poor little Cissy! I felt the worst for her out of anyone. One of the things I loved best about the books was the moment in Half-Blood Prince when she emerged from the shadow of her family and stood up to Bella. That moment is obviously many years away at this point, but she at least has the intellectual curiosity to challenge her mad oldest sister.

I'm assuming that Bella has already started Hogwarts at this point. She's definitely already developing a bad case of the crazy. I can't wait to see her more directly through Andromeda's eyes.

Awesome start to the story! I shall soon return to see more!

Author's Response: Hi Dan! I know what you mean about the Black sisters having this sort of ethereal draw to them, almost as if their life isn't really real.

Oh good! I was a little worried the whole Andromeda/Lucius thing was a little unorthodox but I couldn't help but throw it in so to show the way marriage works in these circles. I really liked showing this sort of helpless side to Lucius here. He always seemed to be clinging on to something in the books, as if he's trying to hide his former side and it worked out like this.

Haha, writing pureblood humour was a ton of fun! I often wonder whether they would have a sense of humour which wasn't related to muggleborns dying or whatever, so trying to incorporate it into here was a challenge.

I know what you mean about the HBP moment, it sort of defined her character in such a shocking way which was followed through in DH when she lied about Harry being dead, and I really tried to show this building strength and anger in her throughout this story.

Yes, she had just started (well, that's what I was imagining). She doesn't actually feature directly in the stories after this one but her presence continues to impact upon everything!

Thanks for such an amazing review!


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Review #22, by MissesWeasley123 Words.

18th December 2013:
Well, I suppose I can be lovely for one final time.

This was amazing, Kiana. Out of all the chapters, I don't think there were any like this one. This one was so different. You focused a lot on description and emotions and this for me was the best one. This is how last chapters should be like - because it's made an amazing and lasting impression.

when Andromeda was talking to Tonks and to Remus as if they were there... it was heartbreaking. It was so real and emotional, I couldn't get enough of it. It was just so sad. This was beautiful:

Leaning down, Andromeda points her wand at the white marble and whispers the incantation and tulips burst out of her wand. The colours are an eclectic mixture of reds, purples, greens, yellows and blues. Everything. Just like Remus and Tonks who are, were, everything. -- this was some great description, and again left such an impact. It was amazing.

I loved the paragraph at the end. What a fabulous way to bring it come to a close. Really clever.

Great work Kiana! Happy holidays, and congratulations on finishing. This has been a pleasure to read and review.

Author's Response: Yay, Nadia :D

I'm glad that you picked up on the differences in this story to the others. I wanted to show the more reflective/deep side to Andromeda after her family has died, and Bella really has gone and betrayed for what she did to Tonks.

I'm so so glad that you liked that part because Remus and Tonks are very dear to me with them being my OTP, so I really wanted to reflect the pain that I and all the other shippers felt for them including what Andromeda must have been feeling.

I'm glad you liked the last paragraph because it was one of the few signs of hope showed in this story. Thank you for being a wonderful review, it was always a delight to hear what you thought! Merry Christmas :D


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Review #23, by Lululuna Fragments.

16th December 2013:
Hello! :) Here for our swap, it seems so perfect that on both sides of the swap we're reading stories about Black sister reunions! :P

I think I said the last chapter was my favourite but this one may have eclipsed it. I think Andromeda's voice here has reached a new maturity and beauty which really shows how she's grown throughout the story and seemed loss. The tone of the first section really painted a picture of the funeral and I felt like I was really there: somehow the voice emulated the setting and gave this melancholy, mournful tone which was really well written. :)

I especially loved the descriptions of the Malfoys and think you captured them perfectly. Lucius and how he doesn't feel guilt or regret, and how Andy can see that, and then Draco with his tears. I thought that was a great detail as he's still so young now, and would of course be expressing grief for the grandmother who probably doted on him as the only grandchild she had access to. The reminder of how Druella never met Nymphadora was a great contrast to that, and how Andromeda sort of wished that she could of and regretted it. I also thought the detail of Draco having a monogrammed hankerchief did a good job of showing how the Malfoys are so presumptuous and always putting on a show: indeed, "like royalty" like was said.

It's also interesting how Narcissa has gone to become a Malfoy and be introduced in that way instead of simply being Cissy. I really loved the descriptions of how she looked older than she is, and how the same things which have taken a toll on Andy have equally affected Cissy, though in different ways. It broke my heart a little for both of them. Her haughtiness and anger fit well with my idea of her and her portrayal in canon. I felt like she is one of those people who is extremely loyal to her family and that she can't understand why Andy would forsake that. And then her calling Ted a Mudblood was a great touch as it showed how she isn't entirely redeemable but still carries on the prejudices. I also loved the line about Cissy putting on a haughty mask, and how her identity is projected in a way that she can't escape from.

I noticed a little typo: in the third-to-last paragraph "thanfull" is missing a K. :)

The mentions of Bella and how Cissy felt she was left with her, and how Andy vanished her from their childhood pictures was a great parallel to how Bellatrix is (well, for now) out of the public sphere as it were. I loved how Andy decided she was done with her and could no longer forgive her, but also how she sort of blames herself for not staying and trying to save Bella. It's such a complicated dynamic between the whole family and such an air of regret.

I really enjoy anti-hero Andromeda and how you put her situation in the AN. There's no perfect ending here and although I know Andy made the right choice it feels right that she's still doubtful and haunted by her past. The whole chapter really showed this and was so well-written- looking forward to the next one! :D

Author's Response: Haha, I thought that too, so it made me want to give you this one even more :P

Yes, it was the same with me too because this one just seemed to confront so much of what Andromeda has been dealing with and it was a lot of fun to explore those issues at hand. I'm really glad that you liked the funeral scene though, because even if it's a little morbid, I do love writing them as you can explore so much within them!

Yay for the Malfoys! Even if they do seem to be the same snooty lot at first, when you explore them all they do have rather unique personalities so that was a lot of fun to see here. It is interesting to compare to Draco and Tonks and wonder what it would have been like if they knew one another. If Cissy had been brave enough, his life could have been like hers, but I suppose it's one of those big what ifs we'll never have resolution to.

I'm glad that you picked up on that, because I believe that marriage must have hardened her and exposed her to the real world and thus seen how Andromeda's reactions could have been a little selfish. She's gradually turning into this person who I disliked in the books, and that may have been due to her sister walking out on her life. I'm glad that you also picked up on her loyalty to her family because what she did in DH was so unexpected, that I felt I had to replicate it somehow in here.

Thanks for pointing that out, it's been fixed!

I know what you mean about the web of guilt within the family because Regulus's death must still be hanging over all of them, then whether any of them, parents included, could have done anything for Bella is another interesting aspect which makes exploring this family even more interesting! They just have so many friends and foes within their own family it's often hard to grasp who's allied with who and why.

I think Andy will always be haunted by her past which is a little sad, given that if she had stayed with them she probably would have fared worse as you said, but I suppose we can't do much to help her.

Thanks for such an amazing review, dear!


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Review #24, by vanityfair Fragments.

15th December 2013:
Sorry for the wait in the review, I was out of town this weekend. I thought the description at the funeral was lovely. Very sombre and dark like you would imagine. I am glad that Andromeda will miss her mother a little because I do think she loved her. I'm also glad that she and Cissy had it out and we found out about Regulus. Though I doubt they will ever be friends after the way they left it here. I can hope at least. Maia xxx

Author's Response: No problem! I hope you had a great time! I'm so glad that you liked the funeral, because though it's a little morbid, I really enjoy writing them because you can explore such a range of emotions and descriptions in them it was a lot of fun. There's some sort of resolution between the two in the next chapter so don't let your hopes die down yet!

Thanks for the fab review!


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Review #25, by milominderbinder Echoes.

14th December 2013:
Hi Kiana! I'm here to review this as your challenge entry! Sorry it took me a few days to get around to it :)

This was a great chapter. I haven't read all the beginning chapters of this story so I don't have all the context, but I feel like it stood alone perfectly. It was sweet in places, but also really sad!

I liked Andromeda, though I was a little disappointed that she refused to help Sirius. I would have thought that after rebelling against her family and also now having a child, she would be brave and want to help other people in the family get out of that bad situation as well. Still, I guess I could see why she doesn't act as bravely as she probably would have wanted to, here. I can espeically see why she would have wanted to stay alive for Nymphadora, who is an adorable handful!

I love stories with little kids in them - she was adorable and she added such sweet moments to some of the more serious parts of this, so that was great to read. I loved that her hair was bubblegum coloured even back then!

I think my favourite section was actually this:

'Mummy, mummy I want to get out.'

Andromeda watches her hair change from a bubble-gum pink to a vivid orange and kicks at her chair, knocking the apple on the ground again. She wanders over, moving away the small tray attached to the chair, and before she can move away her daughter jumps out of the chair and runs down the corridor.

'She is a character,' Sirius sighs, grabbing his cup of tea and heaping sugar into it.

^that is SO how I picture a baby Nymphadora! It was an adorable little section, especially as it contrasted Andromeda and Sirius' more serious conversation.

Some other lines I loved were:

It's as if the parts of her, the parts of her she used to be, are sliding further and further from her like the tea cup.

Andromeda doesn't add on that she's not brave enough to confront Bella. She can't. She can't admit to herself that the love for Ted was too great and drove her away from her family, but the fear of her sister is too great to save someone she once loved.

She lets out a laugh which seems to ripple across the air, reminding them of the divide between them and her. Nymphadora will never know the Blacks; she will never visit number twelve Grimmauld Place or number fourteen Plymouth Square. She will never know a single thing about it.

^this bit in particular was sad to me because, as we know, Tonks does go on to know Sirius and to spend a lot of time at Grimmauld Place, and to know Bellatrix as well, but none of it is in a good way and it eventually all leads to her death :( I'm glad Andromeda doesn't ever know that's going to happy at this point, though.

I could definitely see the influences of the quote on the chapter, which was great. You really wove together a moving chapter here with the contrasting sweet parts and sad parts, and even if I didn't have all the context, this was still wonderful to read. Well done!

The challenge results will be up in the next couple of days :)


Author's Response: Hi Maia! This review was so lovely I didn't want to reply to as it would go, but it's been sitting here far too long for my liking :P

I'm really glad that you've only read this one in a way because I was a little paranoid that these chapters were all too related to one another so it was nice to get a different perspective on it.

Yes, I was too even though I made her do it, but the vital difference I was trying to show was that she was a Slytherin, still more related to her family than Sirius. Then, also unlike Sirius, she had built a new life which relied on her and couldn't really survive that well without her, so in a way she couldn't be selfless in this case.

I'm so glad that you liked Tonks, because I wrote a novella about adult Tonks, so writing this version of her was a lot of fun :P I thought it would be fun too contrast her and Sirius because in a way they have a lot of similarities sort of going against their families and being the black sheep, but in a way they're so different too.

I know what you mean about being glad Andromeda doesn't know. It's horrible knowing her future and knowing that a small girl is going to have to die one day because it just seems far too cruel to deal with and I really wish that it could have been different.

I'm glad that the quote shone through because it did in my head though I wasn't too sure of how it translated. :P Thanks for such a wonderful challenge, it was a ton of fun!


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