Reading Reviews for Coming to an End
  
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by slyth3r1n Until the End

13th September 2014:
This was amazing! Wow. I'm speechless!

Author's Response: Thank you so much, I'm glad you liked it!

xTorix


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Review #2, by DracoFerret11 Until the End

9th July 2014:
Hello there! I'm currently stalking Dramione stories and I came across yours. So, let's go over things:

Grammar/Spelling: I did notice a few grammar and/or spelling issues. They weren't major, so I think a slow read-through would help you spot and correct them.

Plot: I've written a similar story (ish) to this, so it was a nice read for me. I liked that you framed their relationship all the way back in fourth year, but I still wasn't quite sure why Draco liked her at all or why he put himself out there to comfort her. I just needed some sort of explanation for his change of heart, but the story didn't give me one. I liked the final battle. I think you did a good job increasing the tension and showing their relationship, and the ending was so sad. Good job.

Characterization: Again, I needed more information about this relationship before I was going to buy it. Draco was sweet, but it just seemed out of character. Hermione was quite good though. Voldemort was a little off. I don't know if he would have the capacity to recognize what love is and really even grasp that connection. I guess he could have read Draco's mind and figured it out that way, but that wasn't really explained so I wasn't quite sure how he knew about their relationship from one glance.

Descriptions: I didn't get too many details about how things looked, sounded, smelled, felt, etc. I wish I could have experienced the final battle with that much intensity, but I couldn't really BE there with so few concrete things to ground me in the story.

Emotions: I really felt Draco's sorrow at Hermione's death, but I struggled to really see their love. Maybe the story was too short to give us that insight, but I think it's important for readers to feel their love, and it didn't really come across for me.

Pacing/Flow: This was a bit odd. We started in fourth year with no explanation of their affections, then just jump right into the battle. Then Harry defeats Voldemort in one sentence and suddenly it's been a year. Maybe working on some of those transitions would smooth things out.

Overall, I thought this was sweet and sad. A few tweaks here and there could really make it great. I hope my constructive criticism helps! Well done!

--Emily (House Cup 2014 Review)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story. First off I agree with everything you say.

This was an assignment for my creative writing class and it couldn't be anymore than five pages. With that, I had to cut down on a lot of things and I honestly just never went back to expand my ideas!

When I'm not so busy with work and such I'll rewrite this, but for now it is that way it is because I had an idea and just wanted to get it out there.

Thank you again!!

Tori x


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Review #3, by Lostmyheart Until the End

14th May 2014:
Hi there!

I saw that you were online and I decided to check out your stories, and to my big surprise you have a Dramione story! I love Dramione stories.

I love the way you write this story, so simple yet with details that make it so interesting. Your characterization of Draco was very good, I really liked him and I think you did it very well. I enjoyed reading this chapter.
The ending was not something I expected, but I love to be surprised while reading, so it's only a big plus - except Hermione's death. Poor Hermione, and Draco. And his death... ugh. I didn't quite like it, but I know it's for the story. To make it more tragic and to emphasize the true love they had, that he couldn't live on (even though he managed to live a full year after her death).
I think you did it very well and you're an excellent writer!

- Lostmyheart

Author's Response: Thank you so much!! That really made my day, and yes, I really only write Dramione stories lol!

Torix


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Review #4, by Chrissy Until the End

8th May 2014:
Your story makes me cry every time I read it! It was beautifully written. Great job :)

Author's Response: Awe, thank you so much!!! I'm glad you like it!

Torix


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Review #5, by HannahJune23 Until the End

8th March 2014:
I usually don't like when the store is changed but this, all I can say is OMG. I loved it and made my heart feel like it was being pulled from my chest bravo!

Author's Response: Your comment made my day! I'm so glad you liked it!! Thanks for the review!

x Tori x


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Review #6, by non Until the End

28th November 2013:
Wow that was very moving.

Author's Response: Thank you! Im glad you liked it! :)

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Review #7, by A critic Until the End

21st November 2013:
Hi. This was good and really well written. I do have some constructive critism for you, though.

Firstly, the "flashback" and "flashback... Again" was really annoying and kiddish. Don't do that, okay? :) I would edit that out.

You spelt Avada Kedavra wrong ;)

Some parts were kind of choppy, so thats something to look for when writing. Try improving on flow.

Besides that, you did an awesome job, I loved it. Keep on writing!!

Author's Response: Thank you for your input!! I will edit my story and change what you suggested! I'm glad you liked it! Thanks again!

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