Reading Reviews for Shattered
  
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by adluvshp Shattered

3rd March 2014:
Blackout Battle!

Wow, I loved this. It was short yet intense, and everything that needed to be conveyed was conveyed. I barely knew anything about Charlotte or Emily and yet I felt their pain. Remus was written so well too, his thoughts really broke me - the poor man.

It was interesting how I understood what had happened so clearly in so few words. It was sad how Remus had hurt Charlotte - I am guessing in his werewolf form - and how she had died, and yet he remembered her and blamed himself always. Emily's pain was also understood - she knew Remus always thought of someone else and he was in pain and she couldn't do anything about it. The last bit was the best though, of Charlotte being dead and yet not having forgotten her love for Remus, and somewhat watching over him and Emily.

It was all so tragic and touching and sweet. The way you connected the three segments with the "and it shattered me" was beautiful too. I almost cried reading this, great job!

Love,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hi Aditi!

Yay! I'm glad you liked this! Is it bad to say that I'm glad you felt their pain? I'm just glad everything was easy to understand and made you feel emotions! :)

I'm so happy you got all the story! It was sad how Remus was the one who hurt Charlotte, wasn't it? Ooh I'm glad you liked Charlotte though.

Oh yay! I'm a horrible person, but I'm glad you almost cried! I loved that part as well, so I'm glad it translated like I wanted it to!

Thanks so much for this wonderful review!
Lo:)


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Review #2, by MissesWeasley123 Shattered

6th January 2014:
Lo I am so confused... and also here for the 11th day of the 12 Days of reviewing :)

First of all, is this a spin off of some story of yours? And secondly, because I didn't know the characters, I took this as OF. And I'm just saying - I'm glad I did. Because it tells me that you are a brilliant author who should definitely write original stories.

It was excellent the way you wrote three different characters in three different parts. You dedicated three paragraphs to each, and basically - it was awesome. What I loved most was how each of their stories, their perspectives all tied into each other. That's so hard to do dear, and you did just that! You definitely are talented :)

Remus biting Charlotte.. oh dear, I feel so bad for him. He's just such a nice person, and I can understand why he's having nightmares.

I loved Emily and Charlottle, even though I don't know who they are. Regardless Lo, you write wonderfully.

Excellent piece, truly enjoyed it! You have to write more of this stuff, and if you already have, feel free to point me in the right direction!

Author's Response: Hi!
And go you! You did really good with the 12 days of reviewing!

As for a spin off, it isn't written to be one - it can be read on it's own - but it kind of is a future spin off of my story All Bets Are Off. I say kind of because it isn't meant to *be* a spin off, it just happens to correlate perfectly with the plot of that story.

And really? OF? That means so much! And really? You think so? I can't tell you how much I'm beaming right now! :)

And yay for awesome! And yay! I'm just really happy that you said that, because I'm smiling even more. :)

Stop. I'm getting cheek cramps! :)

And poor Remus! I always felt like he would be haunted by anyone he ever hurt, even if he wasn't himself at the time.

And Emily and Charlotte are my babies! I love them both and their stories are so sad! And thank you so so so so much!

And thank you so very much (again!). And if I ever do write more, I will definitely tell you!

Thank you so much!
Lo:)


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Review #3, by SkyEcho Shattered

12th November 2013:
Hi, I'm here with your requested review! This took my breath away. I found it beautiful, rich with emotion, sad and haunting. I loved the length and structure you chose. The symmetry of the three perspectives all ending with "And it shattered me" was perfect. At first, I thought that changing the first passage to begin with "I know" (like the other two) would solidify the symmetry, but after thinking about it - leaving it the way it is also conveys a very important message. By starting with "you never" - we get a sense of the frustration and hurt behind Emily's words - and that makes sense. In the line near the end "But I knew that you might never get over" - I would add in "it" or "this" or "what happened".
I didn't find your story confusing at all. Your first few lines really intrigued me and I had so many questions... but that is part of the excitement when reading something mysterious :) The structure is what makes your story so powerful. By reading through it, all questions are answered, and as a reader, it was clear what had happened. It's only after reading all three parts that we get the whole story - and I liked that.
I did find this to be believable. Since everyone deals with heartbreak, grief, and guilt in different ways, you could have gone about it a number of ways... But with that being said, in your story, your words and phrases captured the emotions - it made me feel for your characters - so that's what makes it believable. I especially liked how you mentioned Remus not wanting to see the handwriting - but also not wanting to throw the letters away. And when Charlotte said she would've said yes to his proposal. Those really tugged at my heart!

Author's Response: Hi!
First and foremost, thank you for doing this! Okay, onwards!

I'm so glad you didn't find it confusing and that you got the whole picture. That really makes me happy!

And yay! You liked it and it evoked emotions. And I thought about the firs sentence, but I really liked Emily's perspective and didn't know how to change it to incorporate that.

And that's great that you found it believable! I'm so relieved!

And I'm sorry for tugging at you heart strings (unless it was a good hug in which case, yay!)

Again, thank you so much!

Lo:)


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Review #4, by Red_headed_juliet Shattered

12th November 2013:
This is very intriguing. I'm looking forward to the next chapter. Right now it's a bit confusing, but I have the utmost confidence that as things continue it will become clear. You're doing a good job at conveying meaning while incorporting different sentence structure based on who's talking. I noticed that your simple sentences especially convey a lot of emotion. All together, your style is exquisite, and I look forward to reading more of several of your stories. +] Not to mention, I'm a sucker for a tragedy, so this is right up my ally. Tragic love lost and a possibly naive girl trying to win the affections of someone already in love with the deceased? Wonderful plot in my opinion. Can't wait to see the characters get more fleshed out. +]

Author's Response: Hi!
Um, I don't think you noticed, but this is a one-shot? So there won't be any more chapters in this, per say, but I might write another one-shot loosely based on this...

And how is it confusing? I would really like to now exactly what so I can work on that and edit it.

Thanks for reviewing and I'm glad you like it!

Lo:)


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Review #5, by AlexFan Shattered

11th November 2013:
Wow, that was . . . powerful. I love how you told it from all three point of views. I really like how all of the point of views are similar because they're talking about the same thing but at the same time they're different because they're all looking at the same situation differently.

I admire how you didn't use any dialogue at all in this and simply used each character's thoughts to tell the story.

I didn't know how I would feel about this when I clicked on it but I just really enjoyed this. I love how much emotion you packed into so few words.

And your characterization of Remus is spot on, blaming himself and unable to forgive himself for something that he did. It's like when he left Tonks to try and protect her.

I want to write a really long review but I'm just having trouble putting my thoughts into words because this has left me speechless. I don't know how to express how great this was in words so I'm just sitting here in awe.

But seriously, great job on this.

Author's Response: Yay!
I'm glad you liked it!

And now that I think about it, I didn't use any dialogue, did I?

And yay! Emotions a plenty. You get emotions, you get emotions, everybody gets emotions!

And yay for characterization!

That's okay about the wanting to write a long review, but not being able to. I've had my fair share of those. But can I say I'm kind of glad, because that means I left you speechless! Yay!

Thank you so so so so much!

Lo:)


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Review #6, by Rumpelstiltskin Shattered

9th November 2013:
Hello!

Wow, this one *was* kind of angsty, but I absolutely loved it. I know that the length is perfect for the story's premise, but it was just so beautiful that I wish it was longer!

The altering first person perspectives functioned impeccably to give everybody a voice. Also, it was an amazing way to establish the story that they were trying to tell bit by bit.

I don't really know what to say-it was all so sad! Since you don't approve of sitting in the dark, I think I'll try to remedy my feelings with an apple pie! :(

I loved it.

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Hi!

Yay, I'm glad you liked it! And if it was longer, well, I guess you're right. It is the right length. Although, I'm thinking of making this a spin-off of one of my other stories (you can guess what one :P), so that might making up for the shortness?

And yay for altering first person! I'm glad you thought that was good!

And yay! You're eating your feelings instead of hiding in dark corners! Much better for you (well maybe not for your waistline if you're like me and you have a lot of feelings...)

Yay! I'm glad you loved it! Thank you so much!

Lo:)


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Review #7, by toomanycurls Shattered

8th November 2013:
oh my gosh

This is so dark and beautiful. It's so short but goes over so many emotions. There's so much you stirred up for me in this.

Poor Emily and her feelings for Remus. I can't imagine trying to be in a relationship with someone so distant. I wonder why she's still around with him holding her at arm's length for that long.

Ah, and Remus' perspective is so full of guilt and shame. Did he bite Charolette? So much sadness there.

Charolette's section is very haunting. She seems to want Remus to move on and be happy. I quite liked her thoughts on Remus proposing to her. It's so heartbreaking though. I'm guessing that she's dead but is she haunting him or just watching Remus from above?

I liked this quite a lot!

-Rose

Author's Response: Yay! I'm glad I made you feel emotions!

And yes, being with someone so far away can hurt, but I guess I wrote it as she loved him so much at the start of the relationship and then he became distant, but she couldn't leave him because she loved him.

And poor Remus! Yes, he did bite Charlotte...

And Charlotte is dead, but she's just watching him from above. No haunting or anything, just peaceful watching.

And yay! I'm glad you liked it!

Lo :)


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