Reading Reviews for Bitten
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by AlexFan Bitten

18th February 2014:
This has made me emotional. I don't think I've ever felt so bad for Remus Lupin before in my entire life. I mean sure, I used to pity him before but after reading this wonderful one-shot, I really just want to cry and protect little Remus to keep him from getting hurt.

The beginning was just heart-wrenching to read, I didn't know how I would handle the scene where Remus got attacked but I can safely say that that started me on the road to wanting to bawl my eyes out. The way that you described it just made it seem so very real!

And then the grief that Lyall was going through and the fear that he felt for Remus and how sorry he felt for what he had said about werewolves just broke my heart. One of the saddest things that I've personally found when reading stories is witnessing the regret that parents have when it comes to something that they did that affected their children.

Remus was such a sweet child as well, here he was, getting attacked by a werewolf and he didn't dislike the man who had forced this on him. He didn't wish any ill harm on Greyback, he was just curious and accepting of what had happened. Remus would've made friends quite easily if he hadn't shut himself off from everyone else for fear of hurting them. The part where he got taken to St Mungo's made me feel so bad for him. He had no one to keep him company and he was in so much pain and he just wanted it to stop and I just can't even right now.

I'm an unemotional wreck this was a brilliant one-shot. Great job on it!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm constantly blown away by the response to Bitten - it was my first one-shot. When it switches to Lyall's POV, that was originally because when Remus lost consciousness I needed some way to convey what happened next. I then realised just how much potential there was in that line, so what was originally a solution to a problem became central to the story.

This story was one of those ones that pretty much wrote itself - at least I knew where to start, and one I'd got the first sentence down it just poured onto the page. I think I wrote the whole thing in one day! (All 6000 words of it)

Is it bad of me to feel proud whenever someone says I turned them into an emotional wreck? That I can really affect people with my writing- I suppose considering how emotional I get while writing them, it might be expected, but then of course I really get absorbed in my characters when I'm writing.

Thank you! It's always so amazing when I log on and find lovely reviews like this one waiting for me. It's perhaps what I love most about this site.

-Leonore


 Report Review

Review #2, by MargaretLane Bitten

30th December 2013:
That part about him liking the full moon is so ironic, considering what'll happen later and that it'll end up being his boggart. I like the way you included that.

And yikes, the parent's question about whether it'd be kinder to let him go! An understandable thing to think, I suppose and yet so awful. Despite the pain once a month and the stigma, there is still a lot Remus, or any werewolf would miss out on if they died. And I'm sure Remus's parents will end up being glad he's still alive, that they at least have their son, even if he does have a lot to deal with.

And it seems Lyall is already beginning to realise that.

I really like the comment about Remus not being able to attend Hogwarts now. I'd forgotten that would have been the assumption. And it does kind of sum up just how much his life has been changed in one moment. How do you tell a small child that something he's been looking forward to will now never happen? It makes a lot of sense that Lyall would focus on the opportunities that Remus has lost. And that he would blame himself.

LOVE Lyall's declaration that Remus will be OK, because he will ensure he is.

I never thought of the possibility of Remus, or anybody, taking the exams as an external student. I should have. It's done here for the Leaving and Junior Cert., so why not the O.W.L.S and N.E.W.T.S.?

Wow, Lyall has a lot of N.E.W.T.S. I wonder what the typical amount to do is. Students seem to do all different numbers.

I really like the way Lyall is torn between his hatred of werewolves both because of the prejudices he's grown up with and what one has done to his son and his love of his son, regardless of what he is.

Aw, I like the fact that Remus is so accepting even at such a young age and even after being attacked by a werewolf. It fits with what canon says about him having felt sorry for the werewolf who attacked him until he realised it had been deliberate.

And I like his use of the term "wolf-man". It kind of shows how little the six year old really does understand. Even though he's obviously heard of werewolves and that they are to be avoided, he doesn't really fully understand.

I really like the way you show the attack to have happened. It never occurred to me that Greyback might have broken into the house, but it does make sense. Greyback would have had to have been pretty lucky for Remus to come outside just when he wanted to attack him. And you describe the house after the attack so well. You're good at description.

Oooh, the line about creating such a room for his son sent shivers down my spine. It's so bleak and the fact you don't go into detail makes it even starker.

It's occurred to me before how horrific it must be to be six and in pain and have nobody come to comfort you. I mean that's an age when children go looking for an adult if they cut a finger. Going through the pain of a transformation alone must be horrific.

*grins* Lyall's comment about wanting Remus to bite him reminds me of something in one of my own stories. It's not the same, as my story is set after Wolfsbane exists and it's not about Remus anyway, but the need to be there is the same. Lyall is willing to do even more though and it truly shows how much he loves his son, especially considering how he feels about werewolves. I really like the way you show the love between father and son.

I like the way you portray how horrific transformations were before Wolfsbane, particularly for a six year old, who doesn't really have the physical strength to deal with such attacks.

And Lyall's feeling that he deserves to be hated, that it is all his fault is so sad.

I also really like the way you show Remus as feeling - his fear his fingernails will turn to claws, his heightened senses, his attempts to hide his discomfort from his parents. He's so little to have to deal with it all.

I particularly like the fact that you've dealt with the psychological effects of what has happened to him. It's bound to have been traumatising.

Aw, a sort of happy ending.

And a slight hint about the fact that Remus will not follow the rules.

An excellent story. 10 out of 10.

 Report Review

Review #3, by celadon Bitten

19th November 2013:
Hi! Here from the Ravenclaw Review Battle!

This was a rather bittersweet story. You start off by describing how Remus was bitten and his parents' fear that he may never wake up. It was hauntingly written and the anxiousness seemed to drip off my screen. It was heart breaking to see how innocently Remus was taking the news. He didn't throw a tantrum or burst into tears. He was rather calm and his main concern was why the werewolf did not like him. You've written it in such a child like fashion that I could really feel Remus' nervousness when he was going to transform into a werewolf for the first time. Even things like the pain during the transformation were written with such attention to character that it felt like I was reading this from the perspective of an eleven year old.

His parents were so loving and concerned that it nearly drove me to tears. One line that really stood out was 'Could Lydall get Remus to bite him, then they could both transform together?'
That really showed how much he cared for Remus. Remus may be poor and part beast, but he had a family to support him and in some ways, that was more than he could ever need.

I like how you ended it on a happier note, with Remus getting in to Hogwarts. It really gave the story a warmer touch. Nice work!

Author's Response: Thank you! This story is special, for me. Writing it I knew there was something there, I was getting right into the characters. Nearly drove you to tears? I'll have to try harder next time. Joking - I'm so pleased that people are really affected by it. The best compliment to give a writer!

This is what I like about one-shots - you can really get the emotion in there, and it doesn't tail off too much. It's impossible to keep that level of connection right through a full-length novel. Also, this situation is unique and allows that level of emotion.The situation is heartbreaking - as the author you just have to make sure the reader realises.

Thank you for such a lovely review. I've decided to do more one-shots as well as the novels, partly because I love writing them but also thanks to the amazing responses to Bitten.


 Report Review

Review #4, by toomanycurls Bitten

17th November 2013:
Hello!! You have so many stories that look interesting that it was hard to pick. I went with this one because I wrote a story around Remus being bitten. I love reading interpretations of that sad event.

This starts with so much action and drama. The contrast between boyhood curiosity and the terror of the werewolf charging is powerful.

I love the smash cut to the hospital. Lyall must have been in a horrendous state. His pain at watching Remus being worked on was palapable. You convey the blame and pain parents would experience at watching their kid suffering so well. Ah, the uncertaintity is causing a knot in my stomach. I know that Remus survives but the way this is written has pushed me through an emotional bog.

This line ripped my heart out: "Better dead than this. But no, be couldn't murder his son. But the monster had already done that. Murdered the sweet, harmless little boy. Destroyed his life, anyway, and wasn't that murder?" I'm sure Lyall will regret thinking this later. There couldn't have been a crueler/more ironic twist in Lyall's life.

Poor, poor Lyall trying to think about what it son's life will be after this is amazing and very believable for a parent sitting through his child's recovery from a traumatic event.

Oh gosh, Remus waking up and his innocence/naivity about what was going on is just too much. Your sense of irony is quite well developed - Remus saying "cool" at his father's description of what a werewolf is. ah, and his wisdom about werewolves being just like other people. It's almost too much for me!

Here's Hope. I had been wondering where she got to. I love that she corrected his grammar - it just seems like a perfectly normal mother thing to do.

The first transformation sounds excruiating. Not just for Remus but for his parents. :( I'm sure Hope felt completely terrified at seeing him afterwards.

The way you describe how being a werewolf changed Remus' senses and thoughts is remarkable. It shows so much depth and thought around lycanthropy.

Dumbledore's visit is just heart-warming. Remus' uncertaintity and cautious behavior is just perfect for the Remus we see in the books.

This is quite a wonderful one-shot. The only thing I wanted to add, is that accordng to Pottermore, Remus' dad is Lyall, not Lydall. :)

-Rose

Author's Response: Wow! Thank you so much. I try hard to convey the characters, so I'm glad you think I succeeded. This story was incredible to write - in fact I think I managed to get upset while writing my own story. OK, that's not that unusual for me.

Yes, Remus' innocence was a great draw. He doesn't understand what's going on, doesn't know the existing prejudices, and his parents have tried to shield him from that kind of topic so he has no idea. It was a fun, and sad, perspective to write.

Somehow I became convinced that the name was Lydall. I will change that, thank you.

It was hard to pick a story? I'll join in team review tag more often then, so you can read the lot!

And I can't say thank you enough for this lovely review. Logged on as soon as I got hope and was greeted with this - and I've been struggling a bit with writing recently so this is a big boost.

Leonore


 Report Review

Review #5, by Fonzzx Bitten

28th October 2013:
I love this so much. I've never read a fic that goes into that much detail about Remus as a young boy :)

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad I've managed to find something different. (Of course if you like it, it links a bit to my main novel True Lion, a Snape/Lily AU with a large focus on Remus!)
Leonore


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login