Reading Reviews for Where My Heart Lies
  
35 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Lululuna Puritas

13th March 2014:
Hello! :) Ahh, what an exciting chapter, and I'm so sad there aren't anymore! I'm so intrigued and excited to find out what happens.

Puritas is very interesting. The name and the practices indicate that they're more pureblood-minded than the other societies so far, and more dangerous. Even the fact that most of the initiates were Slytherins felt very telling. And Diamond Parkinson - do I remember reading something about her in your blog as well?! :P Her name is excellent, and I liked how Abby bristled a bit when she winked at Albus.

The whole way Puritas went about it - tying up the sixth years, only leaving them with the knife - was so terrifying and ominous. And then the person threatening Abby! Poor Abby, what has she done to offend her?! I'm so curious if by saying "sister" she means she's also a Parkinson, or if that's just what the members of the society call one another. That whole exchange was horrifying and I don't blame Abby for being upset, though I liked when Albus comforted her. It's so nice how he's the one she goes to for comfort.

I think Scorpius seems a good mix of snarky and good-hearted. :P I'm curious too if he's the one who has been sneaking around with Rose! I think I'm going to like him, at least for now. He certainly seems to have a strong personality at least. I like how all the characters seem very interesting and have a role to play.

Well, Riley over-reacted there, didn't he? Seems to me like that kind of behaviour might work better to drive Abby away. I also liked how she was so outraged that Riley would think Albus could ever hurt her, as if Riley doesn't understand her and her friends at all.

This was such an amazing chapter, I can't wait for the next one! ♥

Blackout Round 3 - 8/20

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Review #2, by PolyJuice_ The Masquerade Ball

13th March 2014:
BLACKOUT BATTLE~ 6/20

Hiya! I liked this story a lot! I went into this story expecting the usual 'masquerade, hot boy meets hot girl under mask. hot boy kisses hot girl. finds out she's really ugly nerd' and was pleasantly surprised.

That's not where you went with that at all. It was a more realistic situation where she was actually recognised which was nice.

I liked the dynamic between the characters, the way they interacted in the dorm before hand, the way she was passed around the ball through many hands, and the way that talkitive girl got on her nerves.

I really loved this story and can't wait to see where you're going with this!

Liz

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Review #3, by Lululuna Transfiguration Studying

13th March 2014:
Hello again! :) I'm really loving this story and sad that there's only one more chapter to read after this one for now! Especially since I peeked at the title of the next chapter and am really excited for what is going to happen...

Yay, she's alive! I really enjoyed all the background about George and the family split as well. I liked meeting Fred, and him being a Ravenclaw and a bit of an outsider from the rest of the family is quite original. I like the idea of George going over the edge a little bit and being much harsher after Fred I died, and it fits that he might have tension with Percy. Al's dismissal of Fred did make me sad, however. I'm looking forward to seeing more of him!

Aw, Abby's crush on Albus mixed with her butterfly feelings for Riley are quite adorable and but also almost as confusing for me the reader as they are for her! :P I liked all the little details, like Al's crooked glasses and how his sheets smelled good, and how he showered at night. It's great seeing how well she knows him and how close they are. And I can't believe she didn't tell a teacher about the falling off the roof thing!!! Like, did it just slip her mind!? What if they keep trying to hurt her?? I think Abby is getting a little distracted by Riley's snogging skills and forgetting about protecting her own life. :P I'm so curious about who would want to hurt Abby, or if this was some kind of test to see what she'd do in a life-threatening situation.

I'm impressed that Riley was okay with Abby having sleepovers with Albus, especially after the tense moment they had in the last chapter. They seemed to get on quite well otherwise though, which I liked. All the kissing and studying was quite funny and fluffy, and I liked it! You're really making it hard for me to ship Abby with only one boy! :P

Ah, when Albus didn't come back for awhile I wondered if it had to do something with Puritas. They're so sneaky! I can't wait to see what happens next! ♥

Blackout Round 3 - 7/20

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Review #4, by Lululuna Luculentus

13th March 2014:
Hi Lo! :)

I was so excited when she realized it was Riley who was "Revelation"! I was wondering if he was going to show up somewhere and this was just a great moment of realization. It's very interesting to see the different societies and how they cater to certain brands of careers and skills, like Luculentus producing many Wizemgamot members. I'm still a little wary of the societies but really enjoying learning more about each one.

Abby was just so much fun in this chapter! I like all her relationships with her friends and dormmates, and how she really comes across as a genuinely nice but silly person, who can be both independent but also very social. It's a great mix and she's just so relatable, and I like how while she doesn't have a temper or act irrationally, she has her weak moments and does get irritated.

I also like how confused I am about who to ship! :P I actually quite like Riley and their history seems unique, and it's nice how she is very close with him and they have a good relationship despite her secret crush on Albus. And then Albus and Abby have such a great friendship, and it was kind of cute but also annoying how bitter he was when he thought she was sneaking around with Riley! :P (Side note but I'm so curious about Rose and her sneaking around!). But then I felt like there were some hints towards Abby and James in this chapter especially, and I remember reading a blog you wrote during NaNo about it, so I'm keeping an open mind about who to ship her with. :P

Ahh, the ending!! :O I know that she probably survives, as the novel is only beginning, but it's so suspenseful! I wonder who surprised her, and if there's anything sinister going on or just some poorly executed plan. I'm starting to think that the societies must have a Marauders-Map-style device as they always seem to find Abby so easily!

Great chapter, I can't wait to keep reading!

Blackout Round 3 - 6/20

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Review #5, by Lululuna Captain McKenna

6th March 2014:
Hello again! :)

I'm loving this story! You do such a good job with Abby, she makes me laugh but I love how friendly and likeable she is. She seems like the kind of person who would be a lot of fun to hang around, but she's also very grounded.

I like how tight-knit their group is and all the little secret crushes and histories. The explanation of why some of them do/don't drink was a nice detail as well and helped me feel like I knew the characters even better. Ooh, I'm excited to see what happens between Kara and Archer! Also, it's quite cute how Albus seems to keep looking over at Abby, even if she doesn't quite realize it yet. :P

I like McKenna! It's nice to see how her tyrannical coaching practices come from being nervous about replacing James, and I think that's quite relatable. It was also sweet how she asked Abby how she was doing and apologized - I really like how much depth you've put into each minor character. Also, hmm, I wonder if McKenna is in seventh year and is one of those mysterious masked figures who seem to keep abducting people?!

The bet also made me laugh, and you wrote the Quidditch scenes really well. :)

Hahaha, the scene with the ambush in the shower really made me laugh. Poor Abby, just what she needs, but at least they were polite about it! She's getting quite sassy with the cloaked figure, and I really don't blame her - the comment about making it easier to Stun her made me laugh. Hmm, I wonder if Stunning hurts?! I've never thought about it before now but the way Abby keeps being warned before she gets Stunned reminds me a little of waiting for a needle at the doctor's. :P And haha, hiding behid the Gryffindor towel made me laugh.

I can't wait to see what happens next, and will definitely be back soon! :)

Gryffindor vs. Slytherin Blackout Battle Round 2 - Review 1 of 15

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Review #6, by Lululuna Ducibus

1st March 2014:
Hello! :) Ahh this was such an exciting and eventful chapter!

I love all the secret society lore and how ominous the initiation kidnapping announcement was. It's really cool how the society takes one trait from each of the Hogwarts Houses to associate with the society, and fits very well with how the societies could both coexist and complement the housing system.

Pistol seems especially creepy, I have to say! She seemed quite cheerful about the idea of the sixth years not completing the initiation. The warnings she presented fit so well, and I liked how Abby interpreted them to apply directly to her. It's quite interesting how failing in one society can lead to failing in all of them.

I wonder if Abby is going to get in trouble for telling Albus?! Hmm, I suspect this is quite risky, but I'm looking forward to finding out what happens and whether the other societies are similar to Ducibus.

Albus is adorable, and I liked the nod to Hermione and the birds she conjured! :) His friendship with Abby seems so wholesome though it certainly borders on a little too flirty and comfortable. Or at least, I think her boyfriend might say so with the whole sleepover thing. :P But I love seeing how comfortable they are with one another, you write their friendship and Abby's character and thoughts towards everything going on so well. She seems like a real person to me.

There were a few really funny parts here, like the comment about wrestling their way out of the dark room when they had wands. I'm sure Ducibus would not approve! :P Jacob's love for his hair made me giggle as well.

This was a great chapter and hopefully I'll be back to review the next one soon! :) I'm really enjoying this story! :D

Gryffindor vs. Slytherin Blackout Battle - Review 5 of 10

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Review #7, by Pixileanin Captain McKenna

10th February 2014:
Okay, I couldn't resist coming back for another one. Oh, Jacob and his hair!

Dietrich's reputation seems to be well-known among the students. I can see how that would happen at a boarding school. Poor guy though, having all the teens up in his business all the time. Not a great way to live. Funny, though.

I loved seeing McGonagall in the classroom again. I miss her in NextGen stories. I have to tell you that I did the same thing with her character in one of my stories too. Some professors belong in front of the children, don't you think? But the class picked up on how serious the situation was, based on her appearance. *nods* Nice.

You're building up some fun couples shenanigans, aren't you. I can feel it creeping into the story. It will be a fine distraction for the group of friends to obsess over... they do obsess over each other, don' t they? The looks that Abby and Albus kept throwing at each other were adorable.

I like the way you mixed the Quidditch practice in with the society talk. Action and intrigue all wrapped up together. Great scene, that! And the wager sounds dangerous. Oh, Abby, why? I also appreciate how you showed us the human side of their stressed out captain. She's not a monster, she's just under a lot of pressure.

And she's alone in the shower... the lights start to flicker and I get my popcorn out for the horrific scene... and Abby talks them down. I guess it's all for the best, because otherwise she'd end up somewhere all wet with no clothes, and we can't have that, can we?

I want to know more about these societies. Yes, I do!

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Review #8, by Pixileanin Ducibus

10th February 2014:
Oh. OH!!! Here it comes! Here's the answer I was craving! The "D" society has Abby and her friend and they're being stunned and blindfolded and carried off to Aragog's cave!

Okay, that was just a wild guess. I had to get that out of the way.

"We better not tell Ducibus that or they'll cut us all."

Hehe. He's taking this seriously. That's good. It's funny that they were only in a classroom for the first encounter and so flustered that they couldn't see their way out of it using their brains. So much for leadership! So, there's six of them for Ducibus. Interesting. I'm wondering if Abby is the only one who got more than one invitation? I'm wondering if she's going to see any of these six people in the other initiation ceremonies... so much wonderment.

I loved the songbird throwback to Hermione. Beautiful way to incorporate canon into a NextGen story!

Ahh, these tricky friend relationships. Albus and Abby are very, very close then. Even with Reily in the picture. Reily seems to be okay with Albus on the outset, but I'm wondering how much he knows about Abby's closeness with Al, and how soon that may or may not become an issue. I do have to say that Abby and Albus are not acting like "just friends", no matter what Abby thinks. I was waiting for the snarky comments from his roommates (Besides the messed up hair thing), but they never came. I bet they do that when she's not around. *nods* Guys wouldn't pass up on the chance to make snarky comments about that sort of thing, I'm sure.

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Review #9, by Pixileanin The Four Envelopes

10th February 2014:
Oh goodie! Another heartfelt chapter for me!

"Did you get any?"

Best use of that line that I've seen in a long time! Especially the way she says it twice, and very conspiratorially, right in Abby's face.

Oh, but now this is very interesting. How is Abby to know what these secret societies are like? I assume that Steve has something to do with one of them, since he wants that internship and all. ;) I really want to know what the "Face the consequences" bit is all about, since it was in every single letter that Abby got. Apparently the consequences need to be dire, or the students would blab all around school, and then the societies won't be secret anymore, will they? Sigh. I guess I just have to read on if I want any answers!

I am jealous. My hair never maintains a curl after I wash it. Must mean that Abby's hair has a natural wave. *still jealous*

I like that Albus is close with his brother in this. It is as brothers should be. *nods*

The waffle conversation was fun, and the bacon-swiping too. And the shower conversation was fun as well. But you know what? It's interesting that Abby knows just about as much about these societies as I do. I'm kind of glad actually, because I was starting to feel a little left out.

So to recap: there are four societies. Melody has been asked by at least one, and so has Albus, and Abby got four invites. Okay. I think I got it. But what does it mean...? Why are there secret societies in Hogwarts, and what do they do, and for heaven's sake, what are the consequences???

I want to know these things.

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Review #10, by Pixileanin The Masquerade Ball

10th February 2014:
Hi there. Tag!

I could heartly contain myself when I found this story on your author's page, and since you haven't updated Animal yet... ;)

I don't usually review stories that have characters I'm currently writing in them, because it messes with my head a bit, but I was curious, and you know what curiosity can do. :) Anyway, it's curious that the sixth years don't get to chose their own masks. That's a new twist that I hadn't read before. Interesting that they'll be anonymous, even from themselves... but what if the masks clash with the dresses? Does that mean there will be "fashion death" to contend with? Hmmm...

Yeah, I'm with Abby on this: what's so important about eyeliner if she's going to be wearing a mask? I do like the heated wands idea.


"Albus! I haven't seen you since this morning!" Umm... yeah, good cover-up. That line made me laugh.

Ahh. So someone IS concerned about the masks matching the dresses. But it's a guy. This has me in fits. Abby thinks with her stomach, and her boyfriend has keen fashinista sense. Fun! And another interesting tidbit about the ball, it's an interview of sorts. Well done on some original concepts here. This intrigues me.

I can only guess that the pendant has to do with the secret societies that you allude to in the story summary. I am imagining that the ball has something to do with it too. Is that what she's interviewing for? Fascinating.

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Review #11, by lindslo2012 The Masquerade Ball

8th February 2014:
Hi there!
Here from the review swap!
First of all your fic and some others I read are seriously starting to make me LOVE Next Generation fanfics when I barely touched them before, :)
I love Abby she seems like such a cute person! And I think it is adorable that she has this secret crush on Albus ;)
I think you have a wonderful start to a story and I always love when they mention the canon characters too such as how Abby mentioned Hermione. I think you are a very talented writer and I see no mistakes in grammar!
Hope to see you around the forums!
-Lindsey

Author's Response: Hi!

Yay! Well I'm glad I'm helping you find your way to Next Gen. Honestly, I didn't really care for it until I read certain fics, so I totally understand the feeling! :)

Abby is such a cutie! I love her so much! Yes, her crush is cute, but it does create a little bit of drama in the future, so that's not too good...

Well thank you, I'm very happy you said that! Yes, I love Next Gen characters mentioning Canon characters as well!

Thank you so much for the wonderful review! It was so sweet!
Lo:)


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Review #12, by kenpo Ducibus

5th February 2014:
This was so cool. I was wondering if the secret societies knew about each other! It appears that they do.

It seems really unfair that if you're cut from one, you're cut from all of them... Unless they're just saying that to get them through the initiation. Hmmm.

I find it a little fishy that she's always having sleepovers with Al. I feel like Riley wouldn't be okay with it unless he had a reason to be. I don't know... It seems fishy. Unless Riley doesn't even know? That wouldn't make Abby very trustworthy.

One suggestion would be to try to use Abby's name more often. I honestly couldn't remember it (because it's been so long since reading chapter one), and I think it's only mentioned once this chapter.

Yay! I'm really enjoying this.

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Review #13, by LilyLou Transfiguration Studying

2nd February 2014:
Hi, Lo!

Here with my sixth review for you winning my challenge! Not that I wouldn't have left a review on this anyway. Sorry it took so long!

Ahh thank gosh Fred was there to save her! That was kinda terrifying! A random person just showed up and shoved her off the roof!

Poor Al. Does he like Abby? Is that what's up?!

Oh my gosh the hood dude again! I have a few theories: it's Fred, it's an initiation test, or it's Riley who is secretly evil (a long shot, I know)

Update soon!

-Janelle

Author's Response: Hi!

It's no problem! Everything on your schedule doll! :)

Yay for Fred! He's such a doll. I love him! And yes, death threats and occurrences are going to happen quite often to Abby, I'm afraid. And maybe... I can't tell you! I'm sorry! Spoilers!

And yes! More hooded people! Well, I guess you'll just have to keep reading to see if your theories are correct! :P

Thank you so much Janelle!
Lo:)


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Review #14, by toomanycurls Transfiguration Studying

27th January 2014:
ah, she was pushed! I just assumed she was being taken to another initiation.

Oh it's so sad to think of George having a falling out with his family. :( Even worse how his kids were impacted by it. haha, even Fred knows that Albus is mad for Abby.

IT'S ABOUT TIME SHE ACKNOWLEDGES HER FEELS FOR ALBUS - SHE COULD GIVE REMUS LESSONS ON DENIAL. :P

:( So... do you explain what happened between George and everyone else? That part is giving me such feels.

There's still the secret component to secret socieites, right? :P

I think she's the kind who doesn't tell her best mate about it. :D

Um... I'm so conflicted about whether I want them to snog or what here. It's just, she's in his bed and that makes me automatically think snogging.

As much as I like the sound of the snogging to study method, I just don't think information will sink in the same way. Oh poor Al. :( He's so obviously in like that it's awkward. Ooh, more initiations. :D

Um, update soon. OKAY?!?!

-Rose

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Review #15, by toomanycurls Luculentus

27th January 2014:
I do love your review blitz!

Oh Rose, what were you up to in a broom closet? oh to be a teenager.

I like how each society prides itself in different attributes and post-graduation success. It must be a bit surreal for Abby to have been selected for all of them.

ooOoooh, holding hands with Scorpius. ...I'll grow up now.

I like that Abby talks to Archer about her requests - I can imagine he was also quite blown away that she got so many offers/invitations.

I love Abby's love for bacon. :D

MAYBE RILEY DOESN'T CARE THAT ABBY LOVES ALBUS BECAUSE HE'S TOO BUSY WITH BECCA!

Oh fine, I'll take back my shoutiness. He's just part of some hooded order.

Why is the snogging being interrupted? Albus, you're supposed to be bed.

Yeah, there's awkwardness between them because they both like the same chick.

They woke her up for that? *sigh*

haha, I don't know why but it's kind of funny that Abby is threatening to owl Ginny and James but not Harry. Dude! Is Rose *always* snogging in a broom closet? :D I might like her. It's very sneaky that Rose managed to get a ton of information from Abby but didn't spill the beans about what she was up to. Oh well, I can put 3 and 3 together.

Poor Abby - she must be getting tired of being jinxed and carried off.

-Rose

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Review #16, by toomanycurls Captain McKenna

27th January 2014:
After that review blitz, I thought I should come back to your story!

I like the promise of a Gryffindor party. Having it in the boy's dorm seems a touch risque but I'm probably just being old people right now. I hope they manage to set Archer and Kara up - I always get a giggle out of people both liking each other and not knowing it.

It is a bit realistic to sometimes get a professor who is sick *cough hungover *cough* and can't teach.

Whoo! Quidditch! I see more Albus/Abby flirting here. I like wagers (unless they deal with people having a broken heart at the end). Oh Abby, she shouldn't make bets she's not willing to follow through on. :P

Did you specify the broomstick thing wasn't a euphemism just for me? :D I laughed *so* hard.

This kidnapper has horrible timing. I'm glad they waited for Abby to finish her shower or that would have been horribly awkward o.o

Lovely chapter! I'm liking all the kidnapping and initiation bits!

-Rose

Author's Response: Hiya Rose!

It's a low key party, so no hanky-panky would be happening, I swear! Yes! Archer and Kara are so cute and sweet together and I just love them! :)

Yes, although that certain professor is very well known for it. Not the best they could have hired, but what are you going to do?

Yay! I love writing quidditch! And yay for flirting! Don't worry, she'll follow through with it, she just won't like it! ;)

Not *just* for you, but there may have been a little thinking about what people might think (*cough cough* you *cough cough*). And yes, although they were very gracious, weren't they?

Thank you so much Rose!
Lo:)


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Review #17, by Lululuna The Four Envelopes

20th January 2014:
Review swap! :D (but seriously, what I said in my comment on your status. Studying > swapping!)

I like this story a lot- I'm glad I have a lot to keep reading of it. The concept is so suspenseful and original, and I'm so curious about these societies and what Abby is going to do. They actually seem quite ominous in a way - it's funny to think that the same people sending these threatening and powerful letters are just normal students, and were last year in the same confused position as Abby and her friends.

I'm a little suspicious of Puritas, both because they sound forceful and because it means Purity- that seems very Slytherin and dangerous. :P I googled Ater Sanguis - gloomy blood? dark blood? It sounds a little ominous as well but I liked the way they worded their letter, so I'll give them a chance. :P Plus it seems to fit quite well with her grandmother's necklace - there's just so much delicious mystery in this story!

Albus and Abby have a really adorable friendship. I love how lively and silly they are with each other, and can definitely see them falling in love/realizing they love one another. Abby's beloved boyfriend didn't seem to come up much - by the way, I'm also dying to find out which society he's in! I'm curious to see if the societies are mainly correlated with the houses or what attributes they choose people by, as well as what makes Abby so special.

Okay there I go, distracted by the societies again. Sorry! :P The shower scene was really cute, I like how comfortable these two are with each other and how Albus is the one person Abby feels she can confide in and risk the wrath of the note-writers.

Oh, and the mention of Al explaining "cotton torpedoes" really made me laugh. :P

Great job! I'm excited to read the next chapter. :)

Author's Response: Hi!

Yay! I'm glad you like it (and feel free to keep reading! :P). They are pretty ominous, aren't they? Yes, it's a bit of a transition, but they do prepare for it!

Yes, be VERY suspicious of Puritas! Translating the society names is a very smart thing to do, by the way. And yes, you definitely should give Ater Sanguis a chance! Yes, much mystery! I pride myself on it in this story!

Ooh, Albus and Abby are absolutely adorable! Yes, there is some possible romance between the two, I'm sorry to say (sorry, I just really love Riley :P). And that will come up, so keep reading! Not necessarily correlated by house, but definitely attributes, so good job figuring that out! :)

Aw, the shower scene is definitely so cute! I love how great their friendship is! And yes, Albus is a cutie when it comes to trying to explain feminine hygiene products to Hugo...

Thank you so much!
Lo:)


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Review #18, by LilyLou Luculentus

20th January 2014:
Hi, Lo!

Oh my gosh please update soon! You will, won't you? Promise? Okay. I knew I could count on you (:

The suspense is killing me! What are the other two like? What do they look for in initiates? OH MY MERLIN WHICH ONE IS ALBUS IS? I love Albus...

Hahaha, I loved how Abby played with Riley like that. Oh, that was brilliant. She deserves a round of applause. I wish I could force tears. I'd do that to my boyfriend too. Oh that'd be great...

Can't wait for the next chapter! I'm so excited to read on!

-Janelle

Author's Response: Hi!

Well the other two societies are quite... different, both in good ways and bad. Aha! I love Albus too!

Ergh, Abby is quite the manipulator, but I love her! A round of applause is coming her way, don't worry!

I'm excited for you to read on as well! Thank you!

Lo:)


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Review #19, by toomanycurls Ducibus

20th January 2014:
I have to preamble this with - my mind isn't in the gutter *all* the time but its interpretation functions are. :P And considering what some of your characters have gotten up to at parties, my interpretation wasn't that far from what could have happned. :P

Is that like Potion Making for Dumbies? :D I like the nicer twist on that series you have.

...who is kidnaping Abby?

While they're not totally calm about being taken to a mysterious dark place, they're not as spazzed out as they might be either. I like that they're more concerned about being comfortable than who has taken them. The initiation is really creepy and well done. I could feel the sense of importance and mystery Pistol was trying to convey.

Why does Abby bother with Riley? the first person she goes to after a mysterious run in with a secret society is Al. ha, I do think it's a bit funny how word got around about who was likely taken. At least he knew that Melody was involved. It is a bit of pressure to not be able to fail out of initiation for risk of being rejected by the other societies.

...I know I had Remus/Tonks do the friends sleeping in the same bed thing but, what the heck! Abby has a boyfriend who probably wouldn't mind some snuggle action! She sleeps there enough to keep a toothbrush there!?! That's not a friends action!!! :P

-Rose

Author's Response: Hi Rose!

Yes, my characters are quite... rambunctious? And yes, it is my version of Potion Making for Dummies, I'm glad you caught that!

Ah... well a lot of people kidnap Abby, but this time it's Ducibus.

Yay! I'm glad you liked the initiation! It's one of my favourite aspects in this story! Ergh! Riley and Abby are so cute though! I swear on Merlin he's such a sweetie! Don't hate him!... Although yes, Abby and Albus are really (*really*) close... Yeah, the societies are very strict on who gets to join.

They're just friends! (sort of) And they've been doing that since they were young, and nothing's ever happened, and only because Albus's dorm mates are disgusting slobs and Abby likes to brush her teeth every night. (Also, Ginny always packs about three extra toothbrushes with each of her children - James was the only one ever to use all of them in less than six months).

Thank you so much Rose!
Lo:)


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Review #20, by kenpo The Four Envelopes

20th January 2014:
I loved the first chapter of this, so I'm really excited to be back for chapter two. It looks like she'll be getting invitations now:)

Before I start, forgive me, I'm on my phone, so this might be really awful.

I love how Melody wakes her up. She seems fairly dramatic, and it's great for character development. The fact that Abby didn't reveal any information to her gives information not only about Abby, but how much she trusts Melody. They're friends, but not close enough for Abby to share that kind of information.
Okay. Hmmm. Those letters. From the summary, I already knew what was going to happen, but I'm really curious as to what these four societies are about...
Ducibus is leader, I'm pretty sure.
Ater Sanguis... I don't remember what Ater is, but I think it has a negative connotation. And I wanna say that Sanguis is blood, but more in a figurative sense, like you wouldn't use it to describe a wound, but more of your character? Or lineage? So... not sure what to make of this one.

I have no idea about the other two, so I looked them up. Shinning and bright (physically or mentally? Is this society for the beautiful or the smart?), and pureness. Could've guessed that one. So is that for pure-bloods? Or for people pure from evil?

I'm guessing I'll find out if I keep reading.

I like Al's reaction to being woken. It was amusing. And I like the nod to Harry and Sirius having conversations by the fire. It took me a minute to "get" it, but when I did it made me smile.

Awww, I like Riley. I hope he doesn't turn out to be evil. Oooo, is Ater Sanguis the evil group? And is Riley in it, and it'll make everything really dramatic because she'll have to choose between him and whatever group she wants?

I conversation about waffles made me laugh and want waffles. There's a fair chance that after I write this I'm going to go get waffles...

I like this whole conversation, and then the interuption from Riley. He doesn't seem to have a problem with her friendship with Albus, which shows something about his character. A lot of guys wouldn't be okay with their girlfriend having a male best friend (who, apparently, is in good physical condition...).

Okay. I'm gonna start making predictions here.
Puritas is the "good" society (I'm abandoning that I think it's for purebloods, because Al would still be labeled as a halfblood, wouldn't he? I'm not sure if you've mentioned Abby's blood status. I'm not great at remembering details like that), and A.S is the "bad" one. She's gonna have to choose between them and the guys. But at the same time, she got two other offers. Maybe she wants to be a leader, or maybe she wants to be pretty/smart/shiny.

Hmm.

Okay, I obviously really really like this. I'm busy right now, but don't be surprised if you get more reviews from me. Keep updating so I can be creepy and review chapters ten minutes after you post them:)

Thanks for the swap!

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Review #21, by LilyLou Ducibus

20th January 2014:
Hi, hi, hi!

OH MY GOSH I LOVED THIS CHAPTER!!

The whole society thing is really scary. I would love to experience something like that. I'd be one of the morons rocking and crying in the corner. And hiccoughing. Although, I bet I'd be asked to join by Ducibus. Everyone's always telling me how much of a leader I am. Ooh, I can't wait to learn about the other qualities in the other societies, and which one Albus is in. Ahh it's so exciting!

You wrote their panicking perfectly, Lo! They were crazy and bumping heads and shouting and hiccoughing and everything. Ahh it was perfect. And her getting slammed by the door was funny, as well.

I love your skill of keeping the humour present. I don't know if I'd be able to keep all that humour there, to keep my reader smiling and whatnot, even during serious times. I'm pretty confident I wouldn't be able to do that, so you did a fine job!

Albus is so adorable. I wish I had a guy friend like that. And Jacob was a nice addition to keep the tone lighthearted.

I can't wait to read on!

-Janelle

Author's Response: Hi!

Yay! I'm glad you liked it! Yes, it can be scary, but I'm a little bit envious as well! Haha! Well, I might be crying as well - I'm not all that brave.

Oh yay! I've never really been in that situation so it's good to know I got their panicking done well!

Oh well thank you! I love to always have something to make me smile, so it's great to hear that I make others happy as well!

Ooh, Albus is so sweet! I love him, absolutely and completely! And yes, Jacob... Ah that boy!

Thank you so much Janelle!
Lo:)


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Review #22, by toomanycurls The Four Envelopes

19th January 2014:
Hello my dear!!

You got me laughing with "did you get any" as my mind went to the less savory side of the that question. :P then it was funnier ebcause Melody meant it in a very non-dirty way.

It's super exciting that Abby got invitations from all four societies (I mean, not a surprise as that was in the summary. haha, now the getting any question makes perfect sense. :D

Abby is quite close to Al. *cough* Juuust saying. haha, I guess waking him is a dangerous proposition. the couch seems like quite a moment for them. I do like that she called it a ninja attack - I'm really starting to like Abby.

Does Riley know that Abby is conflicted about her feelings? I giggled so much at her suggestion that Riley snog his mates. :P He took it quite well for a teenager too.

that's some deep talk over breakfast. I do like that you show how close they are to each other and that they can have just a silly conversation. I get more bff than bf vibes from Riley.

It's a smart idea that they go out to talk about their letters. :-o bacon thievery is not tolerated at Hogwarts!!

I like their quiddich playing together. Al is such a dork telling Abby she smells afterwards. I mean, they probably both do but still, he could have kept that to himself. Though, I do think their shower scene (even with clothes) has quite a lot of potential between them. ;)

Awesome chapter! I like how you're building their relationship and the mystery about the secret societies.

-Rose

Author's Response: Hiya Rose!

Oh silly Rose! You must get your mind out of the gutter, sweetie! And yup! Melody is decidedly not meaning it in that way! :P

And yay! Four of them! (Yup, kind of a teller from the summary...) And uh, yeah. Al and Abby are pretty *cough cough* close. And of course she would call it Ninja Attack. What else? Yay! I like Abby too so it's nice to know that you do as well!

And nope! Riley is blissfully oblivious! And yup! While she's laughing it up at his expense, he takes it in stride. It's one of the things I love about Riley! And yes, breakfast isn't usually meant for such deep conversation! And yay for silly conversations! Um, *what*?! Pfff... No... Maybe...

And yes, talking about the letters in public is not a very good idea! What? But I love the bacon thievery (I do it all the time)! And yay for quidditch (it is very predominant in this story!). And yup, he's a dork, but they've been best mates for years. Sometimes, he's allowed to be a dork! :P

And yup! There could possibly be some potential between the to! Thank you so much Rose! I look forward to hearing from you again soon (*hint hint* :P)
Lo:)


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Review #23, by LittleLionGirl Ducibus

19th January 2014:
Wow. Another well written chapter. I am suprised I am the first comment on this one to be honest! Ducibus is a very- interesting group of individuals. I wonder what the other houses will be like...
XOXOXO,
LLG

Author's Response: Hi again!

Well thank you! Well, considering it's fairly new, I'm not so surprised, but thank you! And yup! Ducibus is quite interesting! Aha, I can't tell you exactly but one is okay, another is awful, and the last is pretty awesome!

Thank you again!
Lo:)


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Review #24, by LittleLionGirl The Four Envelopes

19th January 2014:
Well. I guess the oddness of the party was explained. That was really cleaver actually :)

The chapter flow was nice and I cant wait to see more of Al and Abby together! The secret societies are really interesting- I cant wait to see how they contact the pair next- or maybe what happens if the two are caught!

XOXOXOX,
LLG

Author's Response: Hi!

Yup! Everything is explained in due time! Well thank you, I thought so as well! Yay! I'm glad the flow was nice! And Abby and Al together are so cute! And each society comes up in subsequent chapters!

Thank you darling!
Lo:)


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Review #25, by LittleLionGirl The Masquerade Ball

19th January 2014:
Wow. Quite a lovely first chapter though I have to agree I guess, that was an odd masquerade ball but you wrote it very well! I cant wait to see the Abby-Al-Riley love triangle start to emerge. I can't wait to read the rest!

XOXOXOX,
LLG

Author's Response: Hello!

Well thank you very much, I quite like this chapter as well. Aw, thank you, I'm blushing! And I can't wait to write more of the Al-Abby-Riley love angle!

Thank you so much!
Lo:)


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