Reading Reviews for Jordan & Parsons
  
34 Reviews Found

Review #1, by blackzero C is for Coffee, Criminals and a Catastrophe

14th December 2014:
Marvellous. .superb plot.

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Review #2, by nott theodore A is for Adultery, Awkwardness and Albus Potter

26th October 2014:
Hi Isobel! So, I may have been meaning to read this (and tons more) of your stories for quite a while and I'm only just finding time to get round to it. But I'm finally here, and hopefully I can read and review these three chapters before NaNo, then afterwards I can just keep up with your updates!

I really love the concept behind this story - there's so much potential for fun and chaos and all sorts of different things to be brought together in one story, so it's great to see that here. Another thing I love about it is how original it is - jobs in the wizarding world all seem so limited, so for this agency to exist (and why not, after all, if there are scandals that need covering up?) in the wizarding world is really cool. I really liked getting to know a bit about the background of how it was set up in this chapter, too. It makes a lot of sense to me that people would need their documents faked during the war to try and protect themselves and their families, and Lee Jordan's the sort of person I can see stepping in and providing that.

Alicia so far (since you asked, and probably just don't want me to ramble) is a really interesting protagonist. I thought you introduced her really well in this - I know that it's in first person so we already get to know about her life that way, but you gave us a glimpse into the sort of person she is and her background as well, which was really interesting. She's clearly very efficient, a good businesswoman, not too concerned with people doing the right thing, as she's getting paid to cover it up when they don't. But on top of that, she cares enough about her parents to agree to get involved with the ex in some way again, which shows their relationship really well. And then there's all the intrigue and mystery surrounding her and Albus, and what happened there between the two of them.

And I'm really intrigued by the past relationship that there's been between Alicia and Albus. I've already got so many questions! How long were they together for? When did it end? What were they like as a couple? I feel like I know why it ended, as I suspect that Alicia cheated on Albus with this mysterious Thierry and that, at least, was the catalyst, but I'm really intrigued. Their first encounter was surprisingly mature and calm though, for a couple whose relationship ended badly, as this one seems to have, so I'm really interested to see how the 'silent partnership' will work out and everything, and whether the past between Albus and Alicia is going to cause more problems. Plus, Albus seems like a cool guy so far, and he's doing a job I haven't seen much of in FF - is he a teacher at Hogwarts, or a professor elsewhere?

I thought the way that you used Albus's appearance and his new involvement in the company as a way to introduce the characters who work at Jordan & Parsons was really clever; it didn't seem contrived at all, but it gave us a really good insight into everything that goes on. The set-up sounds so fun and interesting, and I bet there's never a dull moment with this job. The equivalent of Mundungus dating Molly, the Minister's daughter? A brother and sister team, one of whom can transform into a giraffe? These characters are already really vivid and alive which is great to read.

And, uh-oh. It doesn't sound like it's going to be good news with this Thierry guy having got up to something he shouldn't have done - I'm hoping that Sophie's okay, as she seemed really sweet!

And these are just some random comments that didn't really fit anywhere else, but I really like the chapter titles and the way that you're doing those (although I'll be interested to see what you manage to come up with for some letters :P). Plus the writing here was really lovely - everything flowed so well and it drew me in so I was completely focused on the story - I didn't notice any errors at all. Plus your descriptions ♥

Sian :)

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Review #3, by TheHeirOfSlytherin C is for Coffee, Criminals and a Catastrophe

12th August 2014:
This just gets better and better. I am seriously loving where this is going. I'm literally on the edge of my seat, wondering what's going to happen next. (Okay, metaphorically, I'm actually lying across the seat. But that's beside the point. :P)

Poor Roxanne. It must have suck to choose her cousin over her friend, even if said friend deserved it. And he knew! My poor Albus. *squishes him* Can I like Alicia a little less? *is too much of an Albus fan*

I hope Leanne gets the job at Bludger. And she is right, Alicia is a little crazy for agreeing to Thierry's wishes.

Sophie's plan is awesome! It would definitely generate more business... if they still have a business after this.

Who is the Marin? I need to know! GAH, I'm so excited!!!

SO CANNOT WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!

Sam.

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Review #4, by TheHeirOfSlytherin B is for Babies, Blasphemy and a (Nervous) Breakdown

12th August 2014:
The plot thickens! I love it! Oh, my God, I don't know where to start gushing, I just want to do this - ASDFGHJKL, AH!!!

What is Thierry getting her into? I understand his reasons for going to her, for wanting to know if a baby is really yours or if you're just being used, but to break the law to do it instead of asking... It makes me so happy. (Yes, I did really just say that! :D)

I wonder what Albus will say when/if he finds out that Thierry wants to use his new business to break the law and that he's willing to give her money to buy him out. I quite like Thierry, though. Are we meant to like him? I like him anyway.

And I love Nick! The more I read him, the more I do! :O What did he do for Alicia?

Breaking into the Ministry. I wish them luck!

NEXT CHAPTER!

Sam.

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Review #5, by TheHeirOfSlytherin A is for Adultery, Awkwardness and Albus Potter

12th August 2014:
ISOBEL!!! I'm here, finally here!

It's so cool to read about the kids of minor characters - and to, hopefully, see a little more of said minor characters - and I can't wait to find out more about Alicia, her family and her job. Working with Albus shall be interesting, even as a silent partner - if their past is so bad.

The team! They sound awesome! GAH, I love what they do already. And Nick Creevey - son a Dennis, I assume - a criminal! A Creevey! I think that's my favorite part of this story so far! :P

:O She cheated? On Albus? EVIL! Can I hope he did or will get her back for that? Sorry, but NO ONE messes with Albus... I love that he's a teacher by the way. What subject?

NEXT CHAPTER!

Sam.

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Review #6, by navyfail A is for Adultery, Awkwardness and Albus Potter

2nd August 2014:
Hi! Congrats on getting Sorry of the Week @tda back in June! I thought I would come back and review!

First off the summary is really interesting so I honestly was curious in where you would take this. The plot is very original. I love the mix of drama and scandal with some humor and action.

I really like how you gave Alicia a back-story. Her past relationship with Albus gives a little mysterious air to the fic. And the fact that she cheated on him is a great way to twist the usual he cheated on her. I also like that we got to know some stuff about each member of the staff. And Sophie's patronus is a giraffe? That's cool. The Mundungus Fletcher of this generation is dating the Minister of Magic's daughter? I somehow feel like they go perfectly together then. You know the criminal and the daughter of a politician. :P

Alicia seems like a reasonable character. She uses her head and knows how to deal with situations that come her way. I think she's a great narrator.

All in all, this story has a great plot and characters that are easily lovable!

10/10
~Sama :)

P.S. I love the chapter titles! It's a great idea to go with the alphabet and all!

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Review #7, by RupertsPheonix C is for Coffee, Criminals and a Catastrophe

30th July 2014:
I am really enjoying this story so far. Is Albus going to get more involved? I am looking forward to more interactions involving him. I also can't wait to find out more about Alicia's shady past.

Keep up the good work!
--Kate/RP

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Review #8, by Avis_Oppugno C is for Coffee, Criminals and a Catastrophe

5th June 2014:
Exciting stuff! Looking forward to learning more about the characters!! xx

Author's Response: Thank you! It's great to hear you want to learn more about the characters, I'll definitely keep including more information about them! Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #9, by Avis_Oppugno A is for Adultery, Awkwardness and Albus Potter

5th June 2014:
I always read a story where the main character has my name!! I love Alicia already and can't wait to read more about the business! xx

Author's Response: Ooh that's great to her, lucky I named her Alicia! I'm glad you love her and want to keep reading about the business! Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #10, by alicia and anne A is for Adultery, Awkwardness and Albus Potter

29th May 2014:
Oh that's ominous (I don't think I spelt that correctly...) if the radio is off. I'm a little worried.

I really love the background on the agency, it's so fascinating knowing how it came about and how it's developed and changed throughout the years.

I cannot wait for Albus to be more involved in the agency! I can already tell it's going to be hilarious and awkward... and more hilariousness!

I am seriously so excited about this! I can't stop smiling because I know it's going to be awesome!

Ah I remember you telling me about the giraffe story, hehe that would be hilarious as an animagus form, but not so good to get yourself out of tricky situations. :P

I CAN NOT WAIT FOR ALBUS AND THIERRY TO SEE EACH OTHER!

I am seriously so in love with this story! It's so amazing and so original and you write it so brilliantly.

Absolutely love it!

Author's Response: Uh oh, it really is ominous (I think that's right, it looks right and there's no red line underneath it) although you shouldn't be worried. It's not good news but it's not bad news either!

Yay, that's great to hear especially as the prequel is now up *hint hint* ;) I'm really pleased that you consider the background information fascinating!

Yep, yep, a million yeps. Albus is going to cause a disaster. *shakes head* Tsk, tsk, you naughty boy. There will be some hilariousness though!

Ahhh it's great to hear that you're so excited about this story and I hope it lives up to your expectations!

Yes, the giraffe story is fabulous! Although don't be too sure about that... Giraffes /can/ get you out of tricky situations ;)

THAT IS GOING TO BE ONE OF THE MOST HILARIOUS MOMENTS EVER!

Thank you so much for such a great review Tammi and I'm really glad that you loved this story!


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Review #11, by LilyFire A is for Adultery, Awkwardness and Albus Potter

11th May 2014:
Oh,this seems really cool. The introduction was perfect, setting up history and plot and tone without being boring or overdone. Alicia's quite the character, and I really like her voice and thought process. Was she named after the Chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team (or is that her mom) or did Lee just forget about her?

I'm confused as to why Albus wants to be part of a business if he's a professor, but I guess that'll be covered later. I also like how you introduced all the employees and what they do.

The plot you be set up for the rest of the story seems really interesting too. I can't wait to see what happens.

~Lily

Author's Response: Ooh thank you! I'm really pleased you like the introduction and that I didn't overwhelm you with all the introductions and background information! Yes, Alicia is named after the Chaser, as Alicia Spinnet (the Chaser) is friends with Alicia Jordan's mum. Both Alicia and Leanne have their first and middle names as Lee and Bex's (their parents) friends' names. Lee didn't forget about her; they're good friends!

Albus has some money in his Gringotts vault and he wants to put that to use by investing in a business because then he'll have a share of the profits that Jordan & Parsons make. He's a silent partner, so he won't actively be involved in the business, but the money will help him to have more cash or even to save up for the future. I'm pleased you like how I introduced the employees and that you like the plot!

Thanks so much for reviewing, Lily!


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Review #12, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing C is for Coffee, Criminals and a Catastrophe

10th May 2014:
Hi Isobel!

Please please please forgive how long this review has taken. I honestly just haven't managed to get around to any reviewing until now so I'm very sorry!

First things first, can I say how much I'm enjoying this story? I'm actually kind of sad I haven't got another chapter to read afterwards. I am letting my review thread close but I will keep my eye on it so I can continue reading it!

So your first AOC was about Roxie and Alicia's conversation. I thought you handled everything really well, especially as we now know everything that happened between Alicia and Albus. I must say, I feel so so sorry for Albus. Bless him that's so awful what she did. I can totally understand why Roxie acted the way she did toward Alicia, I would have acted that way too!

In the next scene I again thought you did a good job of the conversation. It flowed well and felt really natural. Alicia does come across a little selfish and determined to do whatever to get what she wants but I still find her really fascinating as a character so great job!

I honestly want to give you my theories on who Marin is but I really don't know. I get the feeling she's got some connection to the Muggle world as Alicia seems to think she would be good as a Muggle PR for the business... I also wonder if she's also the "Miss Perfect" she was looking for for the job!

Anyway, great chapter, I like the pace, it's keeping me interested and excited as to what's going to happen next! I want to know! I look forward to your next update!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hi Lauren,

Honestly, don't worry about it! I understand that real life takes priority to HPFF so it's fine, I'm not the fastest reviewer/responder either!

Ooh thank you! I'm really pleased that you want to continue reviewing even though your review thread's closed as clearly that means you like this story so thank you!! ♥ And I'm sorry there isn't a fourth chapter at the moment, but I'll try and get one up pronto!

That's great to hear! Yeah, a lot of people did want to know about that and I felt I needed to include that, but it felt odd with Albus and Alicia since they've moved on so it would strange having them dredge up the past, that's why I thought her conversation with Roxanne would be a good way to include that information and give Roxy some ammunition to dislike her without having to make up and explain a fictional situation. Poor Albus, indeed :(

Woo! Alicia is deliberately selfish, because I wanted her to have a flaw that influences her life, although I hope it doesn't overpower the story! I'm pleased that she comes across as a fascinating character and I hope that continues as more chapters are written and posted!

You are mostly correct about Marin! She does have connections to the Muggle world and she is Miss Perfect, but public relations isn't really her forte. ;)

Thank you so much, I'm really pleased that you're enjoying this story and I look forward to seeing you again when the next chapter's up! Thanks so much for a great review! ♥


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Review #13, by PolyJuice_ C is for Coffee, Criminals and a Catastrophe

11th March 2014:
OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO.

THEY'RE GONNA GET CAUGHT.

ISOBEL YOU'RE SO CRUEL. STOP TORTURING ME. I WANNA KNOW.

*HATES CLIFFHANGERS*

THIS ENTIRE REVIEW IS GONNA BE IN CAPS BECAUSE YOU HAVE ME ALL STRESSED AND ANXIOUS AND I'M WORRIED. AH.

WHATIFTHEYGETCAUGHT.SHE'LLENDUPINPRISON.

IF SHE'S IN PRISON SHE AND ALBUS WONT GET TO DO THE DANCE WITH NO PANTS.

WHAT. YOU CAN'T DO THIS.

AND MARIN. WHAT??? STOP THROWING IN MORE SUPRISES, I'M GONNA HAVE AN ANEURYSM.

OH NO. THIS IS JUST A CHAPTER FULL OF BAD CHOICES.

*DIES*

LIZ

Author's Response: Are you /quite/ sure that they're going to get caught? :P

...but I'm not cruel! *heart breaks*

I have worse cliffhangers in some of my other stories. ;)

I'm really sad that you're stressed and anxious and worried but I love how much you're fangirling over my characters :P

Actually, if it's a first time offence and she has a good defence lawyer, there's a chance she could end up with an extremely short sentence.

HEHEHEHE. MY FAVOURITE QUOTE EVER.

Marin is a /good/ surprise, I assure you.

*brings you back to life*



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Review #14, by PolyJuice_ B is for Babies, Blasphemy and a (Nervous) Breakdown

11th March 2014:
ISOBEL. I love this story infinitely. Like asdfghjkl amazing.

Can I just say that you are 100% amazing? Can I just like...eat you? Would that give me your skill? *muses*

I totally love all your characters. 10/10 would do the entire cast.

Erm, so I haven't read this chapter since it came out and I don't remember what happens in it, so yeah. This is kinda going no where. BUT I LOVE THIS STORY.

Author's Response: Ah thank you so much! ♥

Heh! Of course you can! ;) Not sure about the eating me part, though. Who would write the rest of this novel if you ate me?

Thank you, I think :P


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Review #15, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing B is for Babies, Blasphemy and a (Nervous) Breakdown

22nd February 2014:
Hi there,

I am so so so so sorry about how late this review is! I don't have any excuse except RL getting in the way. Apologies!

So, I really enjoyed this. I did read the first chapter to get a bit of background into the characters and story and I'm really intrigued in where you're going to take this story!

I'll address your AoC first. Plot believability? I honestly think you have no issues here. I absolutely love the idea of Jordan & Parsons and I loved the origins you have it to from the war. I would be very surprised if something like this didn't exist and so I loved it and think it's a brilliant idea! Now I just look forward to seeing what you do with it.

Thierry's plan. Well, it is a little crazy isn't it, but it's the kind of crazy I can imagine someone in his position doing. Money is no object and with him being in the public eye he's going to do everything he can to keep something like this coming into to light. It's crazy but I'm looking forward to seeing it being executed!

So Nick. You said he was popular with your readers and I actually can understand why. I don't know, there's something about him. Clearly there's something gone off and I am dying to know what he did (hoping you'll reveal all soon?) which isn't good that makes me a little weary of him, but the way he is with Molly in this chapter is quite sweet! He hints that he took the fall for Alicia too... I'm wondering if that's the bad thing or if he did something bad then made it worse with what he did for Alicia. Too many questions basically! But yeah, I'm really intrigued into his character, I think he's interesting for sure. I want to learn more about him.

And finally, Alicia. I don't think the selfishness is too subtle, don't panic! Its strange though, I hate what she did to Albus because that's horrible and she also seems to be good at getting things out if people, whether that be information or help. Like Nick says, everyone has a price and she seems to be good at finding that price. Despite that though, I still find her interesting. I want to know more. You've done a really good job of creating these really complex characters with faults and flaws but making them so fascinating that people can't help but be drawn to them! You've done a great job basically.

So yeah, all in all I'm really really enjoying this story and I can't wait to read more. Your characterisation is brilliant, you've done a great job of making your characters different personalities and the story is definitely gripping!

I look forward to reading more! Once again, apologies for the late review! Please feel free to re-request, your story is great!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hi Lauren!

Don't worry about it at all -- this response hasn't exactly been quick, either! RL is quite annoying; I completely understand!

Thank you so much! I'm really pleased that you're enjoying Jordan & Parsons so far and that the agency is something you find realistic!

Thierry's plan is what I was concerned about most. I was trying to keep a balance between him having more money than sense, and coming up with something utterly convoluted, and I was worried that I had lost that balance. I needed it though, to get the plot moving :P I'm really happy that you can imagine it actually unfolding! :D

Hehe, Nick does have a bad boy side to him. (You'll find out more as the novel unfolds!) I think Molly has made him reform, because she isn't the type of person to date a criminal so he has to keep his activities on the down-low, and reduce the criminality. (Is that even a word?) With regard to what he did for Alicia -- he was a petty criminal, so taking the fall for her actually resulted in a worse sentence for him than it would've for her. And yet, Alicia values her reputation highly, so she maintains that the agency would've been ruined if she'd confessed.

Alicia is quite devious. I'm actually quite surprised that people like her, since she's a Slytherin and they aren't quite as popular :P I'm really glad that you love to hate her though, it's fabulous to hear such wonderful things about her characterization.

Thank you so much, you're absolutely fabulous and I will definitely be re-requesting! ♥

-Isobel


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Review #16, by ohmymerlin C is for Coffee, Criminals and a Catastrophe

20th February 2014:
Hey, Isobel! I am SO sorry for the delay! Real life can be a real meanie poo sometimes!

Okay so first, Alicia and Roxanne's conversation.

You asked if Roxanne acted appropriately/was justified in her treatment towards Alicia and I think she was! I don't understand the full story yet but seeing as she lied to Albus and to Roxanne and Fred and her sister, I think that's completely justified! And she's a mother of two, I think she's fully at liberty to act the way she wants to. Personally, if I was Roxanne, I would NEVER ever do that. I think on some level, Alicia and Roxanne are quite similar.

With the revelation that Alicia lied to Leanne - unless that's another sister I'm forgetting - I think Leanne was very forgiveable! I am constantly amazed that people are helping Alicia - I would be like 'NO WAY IN HELL AM I GOING NEAR YOU' :p - but it's definitely proof that she's exceptionally good at manipulating people.

I really like that you've made Alicia INCREDIBLY flawed. Many main characters are flawed but this is one of the rare main characters where I actually don't like. I don't like that she's extraordinarily selfish - I know she thinks she's doing it for the company but most of it has stemmed from not wanting Al there which I think is so selfish.

Sorry if I've offended you with my dislike of Alicia - but I love the whole story and all the other characters, don't worry! I'm loving reading this! - but she's a very difficult character to like. I just want to smack her and sit her down and give her a good talking to, ahaha :p

I thought the last section was good! It's also obvious Alicia has a small attention span. It's not that she gets easily distracted, but if something new comes up she just leaves all the other equally important stuff - helping her sister get an extension for her dream job? *coughs* - and rushes to do that? I don't know, though. I'm the sort of person who won't do anything UNTIL I've completed my first task. I get a bit OCD about that. I must have my list crossed off chronologically :p

Sophie is extremely useful, isn't she? I really like her character so far! And that is a good idea about extending the (somewhat illegal) business to Muggle-borns! (As a side note, I just found out I've been spelling that wrong all the time. I always wrote it as one word, ahaha!)

Oh, and this is a bit off topic, but you accidentally add a closing quote mark on this sentence:

I know that the more I talk, the likelier it is that I'll make her decide not to help."

but it's a simple error that's easily fixed. I always tend to do it too :p

And you said take a guess as to who Marin is but I haven't got a clue! I Googled it to see if it was a girl's name so that's how utterly clueless I am. :p Will she help with the plan for the next day? As well as helping organising the Muggle-born extension of the company? Or will she get an extension for Leanne's deadline? Or all of the above? :p

I am extremely curious as to who she's (or he's) going to be and what she/he will do!

All in all, this was a great chapter! I really loved reading about it and I am so curious as to how the plan will pan out and whether or not they're all going to get caught! All the characters seem super interesting and I really want to know the full story about Alicia and Al, and all the lying and stuff!

Speaking of, I would also like to see more Al but seeing as he's a silent partner and Al and Alicia don't really get on that fantastically, it makes sense why he's not an integral part of the story at the moment.

Will he be brought into the plan though? Seeing as the summary says 'We had a 100% success rating until Albus Potter walked in' (or some variation of that) and accidentally stuff it all up? Or is it just that Alicia is blaming him for everything as a result of guilt?

Anyway, as you can tell I'm very intrigued by this story! I'm going to add it to my favourites! :D

Again, sorry about the massive delay - I never intended it to go that long - and I will respond to your PM soon but as I said before I have something else to cross off my list first, ahaha!

Feel free to request again! :)

- Kay;a :)

Author's Response: Kayla, hi!! Don't worry about this -- this response hasn't been that prompt, either :P

Thank you! ^.^ I wasn't too sure at all, since fortunately I've not been in Roxanne's situation. I'm really pleased you caught that little subtlety about Alicia and Roxanne being more similar than they'd like to admit, because they were brought up together and their parents are still close even after all those years so they have a lot in common.

Haha! Leanne was indeed the sister that Alicia lied to. I do feel that way sometimes, but then people do /have/ to help her in order to keep the plot moving :P Not to mention that the reader (and me) know Alicia's internal thoughts, but the other characters only see the good girl exterior she tries to portray.

Don't worry! Alicia is the exception -- I /want/ you to not like her, because she's a challenge for me. I like to think that she has the "what if" factor, like when there's a choice and we choose the better option because we're nice people, and Alicia makes the bad choice -- through her, we can see what if. If that makes any sense at all?

Hehehehe. Alicia does have the other things on her mind, but she tends to focus on one thing at a time and put things in order of deadline. For example, Marin has something to do with the plan for the next day, so she has to be there that night while the deadline for Leanne's article is the next morning (and even then the Bludger would need time to decide on a candidate so the deadline's longer).

That's kind of why Alicia hired her ;) Most employers would see Sophie's youth as a disadvantage, but she sees the world through innocent eyes. She sees no reason in expanding the business to work in the Muggle world, despite the fact that someone with more life experience might be all "what about the purist clients? what about the ISS? what about such-and-such and so on" and that's why she's my favourite employee of Alicia's :P

Ooh, thanks! I'll fix that soon!

You already know who Marin is now from the forums, sort of :P As for the rest of your questions, you'll just have to read the next chapter when it comes out ;)

Hehehehehe thank you! I'm really glad that I've kept your interest, 10k into this novel!

THERE WILL BE MORE ALBUS. I feel like I've already told you this, but I may be misremembering, so here goes: he was supposed to appear in this chapter, and the whole stuffing-up incident in chapter four, but because the chapter length became longer than planned, Albus comes in in chapter four and the disastrous event happens in chapter five. :P

Oooh thank you, I'm so pleased! ♥

Again, don't worry about the delay, I'm guilty of it too! Thank you so much for reviewing, Kayla, especially such a super-long monster one as usual :P


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Review #17, by alicia and anne C is for Coffee, Criminals and a Catastrophe

11th February 2014:
Yay! I'm so excited to read this one! :D

How did she screw it all up with Roxanne? Especially if they were close enough before to almost be sisters. It must be something big!

Oh no! They're arguing, it must definitely be something big.

Aw! Oh no! Poor Albus, no wonder Roxanne isn't too happy with her. I wouldn't be either.

Awww Roxanne has kids! :D

Yay! Roxanne is going to do it! I hope it all goes according to plan, I don't want them to get caught or in trouble, I'm worried.

Alicia really need to listen to her sister, shaking him roughly and making him go to the girl and ask her outright would be the better and easier option, but this way is awesome! And action packed :P

I'm worried again about them pulling this plan off, especially that she barely has others to help her. :S

I can't wait for more! The chapters are getting more and more awesome and I can't wait to find out more! :D You're a brilliant writer and I can't help but be hooked by this story!!

You do such a fantastic job!

Author's Response: Wooo! It's great that you're excited for the new chapter! :D

Yeah, Roxanne's not exactly pleased with Alicia. I think it's because she saw first-hand how awful Albus felt, and no-one likes to see their family members being treated horribly. And yes! I actually have a one-shot in the works about Roxanne and her first-born son ^.^

Hehehehe. This is me you're talking to, remember? ;) *cackles evilly* You should be worried. But at the same time, I promise I'll be nice. :P

Yeah, Alicia really /should/ listen to Leanne... but then again, we wouldn't have this novel if she did. I'm glad you like things unfolding this way :P

She may or may not have Marin's help though ;)

Woo, thank you so much! It's so great to hear that you love this story so much and you feel it's improving! Thank you so much for reviewing, Tammi ♥


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Review #18, by mcdash B is for Babies, Blasphemy and a (Nervous) Breakdown

31st January 2014:
Oooh, loved this chapter! The pacing was wonderful, as well as the dialogue between character. It all feels very natural and works well.

Thierry's plans are very strange. I'd love to learn more about Piper, because while he's said that she would twist his words, it just seems too fishy. I do like the set up however, especially since we'll get to see Alicia ~in action. Thirty-seven hours is such a small window, but I can't wait to see her do it.

I'd love to see more of Alicia and Nick's relationship. Even though Nick's gotten into trouble with the law before, he seems like a good person, and it's apparent why Alicia is still friends with him. I like how he has limits to what he'll do, like putting Molly before the agency. Also, Alicia's confrontation with Roxanne sounds like it's going to very interesting. I love the last line of the chapter:

It's time to eat some humble pie.

This was a great second chapter, looking forward to the next one!

Author's Response: Oooh thank you! I'm really glad that you still like this novel!

Thierry's plans are indeed strange, but I think Alicia's more interested in the money to call him out on it. We do see Piper in chapters five and six :D Thirty-seven hours is a small window indeed, but if anyone can do it, it's her.

I'll definitely try to incorporate more of Nick into this story, since he's such a popular character. I don't know how right now, but I'll definitely do my best to fit their backstory into later chapters :) Hehehehe, thank you! ^.^

The third chapter is in the queue right now! Thank you for reviewing! :)


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Review #19, by alicia and anne B is for Babies, Blasphemy and a (Nervous) Breakdown

24th January 2014:
Hahaha! Poor Alicia! Although Thierry sounds hilarious and fun! I wonder why he's there?

I also love that he's too posh to be a burglar, brilliant!

Oh that is a big dilemma to have! And he seems to have thought of everything that they could do to find out if it's his baby!

Wow, he is really scared about this baby being his if he's willing to buy the other half of the business to get them to help him. Although breaking into the Ministry is not going to be easy at all!

Oooo what does he mean when he says that she done something? What did she do that will make Albus not trust her? Oo interesting!!

Awww Nick is staying out of trouble for Molly and he refuses to cancel his plans because he loves her and he's going to propose! I think he might be my favourite. :D

What's he done? What has Nick done for her?

Why does Roxanne hate her? I have so many questions right now!!

Ahhh!! I need more!! This is such a great and original idea and I am loving it so much!!!

Author's Response: Poor Alicia indeed. What a way to begin your day :P

Thierry is indeed too posh to be a burglar himself, but he's certainly not above asking Alicia to break into the Ministry. Yeah, he's one of those people who seem to have an answer for everything... not a very good thing in this case, heh.

That question will be answered in the next chapter ;)

Nick is everyone's favourite - and I can't blame you; he's a sweetheart. Or is he? ;)

That question shall be answered in a future chapter... one day.

Why Roxanne hates her is also answered in the next chapter. Which is in the queue right now, hehe. I'm so pleased that you're enjoying this novel so far ♥


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Review #20, by ohmymerlin B is for Babies, Blasphemy and a (Nervous) Breakdown

22nd January 2014:
Hey, Isobel! I'm here from my review thread :)

First off, I think your characters are all wonderful. They're all believable and realistic. So I don't think you need to worry about that so much.

And I'm just going to answer your author's note question. You gave the exact amount of background information without shoving it all in our faces. I quickly read the first chapter and you did it extremely well in that one as well! You have a knack for giving just the right amount of information without overwhelming us. Good job!

So, you asked about Thierry's plan. In my honest opinion, I think he's over-dramatising it but you have explained that in the chapter. I think he should just grow a pair and ask her the truth - but politely, of course. I understand how it's probably necessary for the plot but it's so unnecessary for Thierry. Also, I think it's a bit ridiculous he expects Alicia to do it within a day and a half but there you go! A silly boy who's made a mistake. :p

However, I think you've written it well. It is unnecessary for Thierry but I am eager to read on about it. I want to see how it all pans out, which is good because you've managed to engage your audience!

I think Alicia is quite selfish. I understand why she'd want the whole business to herself but everyone needs a partner. Again, you wrote it extremely well and we understand that she is selfish for wanting all of Jordan & Parsons but she's driven by her career and family so we are able to understand WHY she wants this. Although, I have a feeling it's more because of Albus Potter that she wants the whole thing. She probably just doesn't want to share it with him. :p

Although I did think it was quite ballsy of her to ask Nick to ditch his plans with Molly for her own gain. I understand that she's desperate but she's very focused on herself rather than others. And especially since you've portrayed Nick as a person trying to rectify his mistakes, I think it's extremely unfair for her to ask him to do that. I'm glad he said no, though.

So yeah, Alicia's selfishness was definitely not too subtle but it wasn't glaringly obvious either, which is good. It fits in effortlessly with the story and we aren't distracted by it.

Nick is an interesting character. I would have never thought the son of Dennis Creevey would be a criminal. And it's obvious Alicia is fond of him because he seems like that he is a pretty good (and useful, especially in Alicia's business) friend to have.

What's even better about Nick is that you've made him wanting to change for Molly but he still is willing to commit crimes. And you've also shown that he pays for his crimes and he doesn't get out of jail without any consequences. Which is good.

I think he's popular with your reviewers because he seems quite likeable - even though he IS a criminal. :p He's just really intriguing and I also want to know more about him. Like why was he in jail? What did he do to finally land there? How did he cope in jail? You get my drift.

All in all, this was an excellent chapter. You write very well and I didn't notice any grammar or spelling errors, which is an added bonus!

Anywho, I hope this review was helpful. It was my first time leaving a proper, helpful review so I was a bit nervous typing it, haha!

Feel free to request again! :)

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: KAYLA ♥ So sorry about how long it's taken me to respond to this review, I assure you I'll be more prompt answering in the future!

Oooh thank you, that's great to hear! It's great that you find them believable and realistic since that's what I was aiming for! ^.^

That's a fabulous thing to hear, I'm really glad you find the background information just the right amount because I don't want to overwhelm readers with the info but at the same time this isn't one of my mysteries so I don't want any gaps in knowledge particular since these are all people Alicia's known for ages so finding out things about them isn't really a possibility since it's information she's supposed to know already!

I'm aware that Thierry's plan is convoluted, but what I wanted to highlight is how a relatively simple situation (telling Piper he's unsure and wants a DNA test before any announcements are made or he gets involved) is avoided by doing things the difficult way, bribing people, employing Alicia and breaking into the Ministry instead of sitting down and having an open, honest adult discussion. Some people just insist on making things harder for themselves, and Thierry is one of them :P

It's great that you're engaged with the plot though because I do want to know that what happens to Thierry as a result of making stupid mistakes will actually be interesting to read of all "blah, this is boring, whereas the Albus/OC love?".

Some people can run businesses themselves -- Alicia probably could, since she doesn't need Albus as a partner for his skill or anything like that, he's only there because she can't afford to buy the other half of the business from her parents (getting 51% of it for free was more than enough really) and I'm really pleased you think she's driven by her career because sadly I don't see much of those women in the fanfic that I've read. You're quite right though -- she's more indignant at /Albus/ being her partner than having a partner!

Absolutely! She tends to speak now, think later and even then she could probably come up with some sort of justification for asking Nick that question (for example, if he didn't help, she'd go ahead with the job, get arrested with the others and then Nick wouldn't have a job) but it's great to see that you interpret her personality and actions so well! (Can you take this story off my hands and finish it for me so I have one less WIP? :P)

That is fabulous to hear, thank you! ^.^ Haha, Dennis doesn't really have an enormous amount of respect for the Ministry after spending a year on the run and then Colin dying and I think Nick and his siblings picked up on that attitude a little, though of course Dennis doesn't approve of Nick throwing his life away by getting caught. In my headcanon, Dennis is all like "the world can go to hell" after Colin's death and of course his ex-wife is going to have an influence on Nick too.

As for why Nick was in jail and what he did to take the fall for Alicia, and coping in jail -- all of that will be revealed throughout the novel. I can't give you spoilers here, sorry! ;)

Thank you so much for all of your amazing compliments! Your review was definitely helpful and for a first one it was fabulous, so thank you Kayla! ♥


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Review #21, by mcdash A is for Adultery, Awkwardness and Albus Potter

10th January 2014:
Hello there! I loved this chapter, and I think it's such a great start to the story. It's fresh, interesting, and the ending definitely will keep people wanting to read the rest.

I love the idea of Lee Jordan starting a business like Jordan and Parsons because it's something he would do besides his radio station. Alicia continuing with the business while also pulling such a selfless act by letting her parents retire makes me wonder what house she was in at Hogwarts. Part of me says Slyhterin, but another part says she could be a Gryffindor. Hopefully we find out in later chapters!

Alcia and Al's relationship seems very promising as of right now, but I can definitely feel the awkwardness in it. I suppose it's because they're each other's ex and are now business partners, but I feel there would still be some chemistry between them. I mean, they didn't start dating for nothing, right?

Overall, loved this chapter! :)

Author's Response: Hello! Oooh, thank you for the lovely feedback!

I'm actually planning a prequel to this novel that details how Lee and Bex created Jordan and Parsons, but it won't be up until I've got my WIP count down :P Alicia does do a selfless thing for her dad, but she also shows her selfish side in future chapters, as you've seen. And she's a Slytherin; that'll be mentioned in a future chapter :)

Well, this is an Albus/OC but I never said anything about Albus/Alicia ;) Heh, they're definitely at a loss about how to act around each other, what with their history. I suppose they might still have chemistry, but they did break up for a reason. Hmm. ;)

Thank you so much for reviewing! :D


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Review #22, by Evelynn Rose A is for Adultery, Awkwardness and Albus Potter

9th January 2014:
This looks like it will be an awesome story. Keep writing! I hope to see some new chapters up soon!

Author's Response: The third chapter is in the queue right now, and I'll definitely keep writing! Thank you for reviewing! :)

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Review #23, by coolgf A is for Adultery, Awkwardness and Albus Potter

8th January 2014:
Yes I love this first chapter 😊

Author's Response: Thank you very much for reviewing! I'm really glad you like this chapter! :)

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Review #24, by TotallyNotVernonDursleyInDisguise A is for Adultery, Awkwardness and Albus Potter

7th January 2014:
I'm just going to call it right now.
I'm betting on Alicia/Albus.
Just saying.
I really like this idea! It sounds quite original and cool. Jordan and Parsons sounds interesting, and I'd probably like to work there ;) so, anyway, can't wait to read the rest so keep writing!
-TotallyNotVernonDursleyInDisguise

Author's Response: Hehehehehe. We'll have to wait and see, won't we? ;)

Thank you! I'd love to work at Jordan and Parsons too; if only they existed in real life. I'll definitely keep writing, don't worry!

Thanks for the review!


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Review #25, by itsonlyjamespotter A is for Adultery, Awkwardness and Albus Potter

7th January 2014:
oh this looks a fun one! I'm looking forward to the next chapters! ~ Hannah x

Author's Response: Oooh thank you, Hannah! Chapter three is in the queue right now! :) Thank you for reviewing!

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