Reading Reviews for Jordan & Parsons
  
27 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Avis_Oppugno C is for Coffee, Criminals and a Catastrophe

5th June 2014:
Exciting stuff! Looking forward to learning more about the characters!! xx

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Review #2, by Avis_Oppugno A is for Adultery, Awkwardness and Albus Potter

5th June 2014:
I always read a story where the main character has my name!! I love Alicia already and can't wait to read more about the business! xx

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Review #3, by alicia and anne A is for Adultery, Awkwardness and Albus Potter

29th May 2014:
Oh that's ominous (I don't think I spelt that correctly...) if the radio is off. I'm a little worried.

I really love the background on the agency, it's so fascinating knowing how it came about and how it's developed and changed throughout the years.

I cannot wait for Albus to be more involved in the agency! I can already tell it's going to be hilarious and awkward... and more hilariousness!

I am seriously so excited about this! I can't stop smiling because I know it's going to be awesome!

Ah I remember you telling me about the giraffe story, hehe that would be hilarious as an animagus form, but not so good to get yourself out of tricky situations. :P

I CAN NOT WAIT FOR ALBUS AND THIERRY TO SEE EACH OTHER!

I am seriously so in love with this story! It's so amazing and so original and you write it so brilliantly.

Absolutely love it!

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Review #4, by LilyFire A is for Adultery, Awkwardness and Albus Potter

11th May 2014:
Oh,this seems really cool. The introduction was perfect, setting up history and plot and tone without being boring or overdone. Alicia's quite the character, and I really like her voice and thought process. Was she named after the Chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team (or is that her mom) or did Lee just forget about her?

I'm confused as to why Albus wants to be part of a business if he's a professor, but I guess that'll be covered later. I also like how you introduced all the employees and what they do.

The plot you be set up for the rest of the story seems really interesting too. I can't wait to see what happens.

~Lily

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Review #5, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing C is for Coffee, Criminals and a Catastrophe

10th May 2014:
Hi Isobel!

Please please please forgive how long this review has taken. I honestly just haven't managed to get around to any reviewing until now so I'm very sorry!

First things first, can I say how much I'm enjoying this story? I'm actually kind of sad I haven't got another chapter to read afterwards. I am letting my review thread close but I will keep my eye on it so I can continue reading it!

So your first AOC was about Roxie and Alicia's conversation. I thought you handled everything really well, especially as we now know everything that happened between Alicia and Albus. I must say, I feel so so sorry for Albus. Bless him that's so awful what she did. I can totally understand why Roxie acted the way she did toward Alicia, I would have acted that way too!

In the next scene I again thought you did a good job of the conversation. It flowed well and felt really natural. Alicia does come across a little selfish and determined to do whatever to get what she wants but I still find her really fascinating as a character so great job!

I honestly want to give you my theories on who Marin is but I really don't know. I get the feeling she's got some connection to the Muggle world as Alicia seems to think she would be good as a Muggle PR for the business... I also wonder if she's also the "Miss Perfect" she was looking for for the job!

Anyway, great chapter, I like the pace, it's keeping me interested and excited as to what's going to happen next! I want to know! I look forward to your next update!

Lauren :)

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Review #6, by PolyJuice_ C is for Coffee, Criminals and a Catastrophe

11th March 2014:
OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO.

THEY'RE GONNA GET CAUGHT.

ISOBEL YOU'RE SO CRUEL. STOP TORTURING ME. I WANNA KNOW.

*HATES CLIFFHANGERS*

THIS ENTIRE REVIEW IS GONNA BE IN CAPS BECAUSE YOU HAVE ME ALL STRESSED AND ANXIOUS AND I'M WORRIED. AH.

WHATIFTHEYGETCAUGHT.SHE'LLENDUPINPRISON.

IF SHE'S IN PRISON SHE AND ALBUS WONT GET TO DO THE DANCE WITH NO PANTS.

WHAT. YOU CAN'T DO THIS.

AND MARIN. WHAT??? STOP THROWING IN MORE SUPRISES, I'M GONNA HAVE AN ANEURYSM.

OH NO. THIS IS JUST A CHAPTER FULL OF BAD CHOICES.

*DIES*

LIZ

Author's Response: Are you /quite/ sure that they're going to get caught? :P

...but I'm not cruel! *heart breaks*

I have worse cliffhangers in some of my other stories. ;)

I'm really sad that you're stressed and anxious and worried but I love how much you're fangirling over my characters :P

Actually, if it's a first time offence and she has a good defence lawyer, there's a chance she could end up with an extremely short sentence.

HEHEHEHE. MY FAVOURITE QUOTE EVER.

Marin is a /good/ surprise, I assure you.

*brings you back to life*



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Review #7, by PolyJuice_ B is for Babies, Blasphemy and a (Nervous) Breakdown

11th March 2014:
ISOBEL. I love this story infinitely. Like asdfghjkl amazing.

Can I just say that you are 100% amazing? Can I just like...eat you? Would that give me your skill? *muses*

I totally love all your characters. 10/10 would do the entire cast.

Erm, so I haven't read this chapter since it came out and I don't remember what happens in it, so yeah. This is kinda going no where. BUT I LOVE THIS STORY.

Author's Response: Ah thank you so much! ♥

Heh! Of course you can! ;) Not sure about the eating me part, though. Who would write the rest of this novel if you ate me?

Thank you, I think :P


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Review #8, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing B is for Babies, Blasphemy and a (Nervous) Breakdown

22nd February 2014:
Hi there,

I am so so so so sorry about how late this review is! I don't have any excuse except RL getting in the way. Apologies!

So, I really enjoyed this. I did read the first chapter to get a bit of background into the characters and story and I'm really intrigued in where you're going to take this story!

I'll address your AoC first. Plot believability? I honestly think you have no issues here. I absolutely love the idea of Jordan & Parsons and I loved the origins you have it to from the war. I would be very surprised if something like this didn't exist and so I loved it and think it's a brilliant idea! Now I just look forward to seeing what you do with it.

Thierry's plan. Well, it is a little crazy isn't it, but it's the kind of crazy I can imagine someone in his position doing. Money is no object and with him being in the public eye he's going to do everything he can to keep something like this coming into to light. It's crazy but I'm looking forward to seeing it being executed!

So Nick. You said he was popular with your readers and I actually can understand why. I don't know, there's something about him. Clearly there's something gone off and I am dying to know what he did (hoping you'll reveal all soon?) which isn't good that makes me a little weary of him, but the way he is with Molly in this chapter is quite sweet! He hints that he took the fall for Alicia too... I'm wondering if that's the bad thing or if he did something bad then made it worse with what he did for Alicia. Too many questions basically! But yeah, I'm really intrigued into his character, I think he's interesting for sure. I want to learn more about him.

And finally, Alicia. I don't think the selfishness is too subtle, don't panic! Its strange though, I hate what she did to Albus because that's horrible and she also seems to be good at getting things out if people, whether that be information or help. Like Nick says, everyone has a price and she seems to be good at finding that price. Despite that though, I still find her interesting. I want to know more. You've done a really good job of creating these really complex characters with faults and flaws but making them so fascinating that people can't help but be drawn to them! You've done a great job basically.

So yeah, all in all I'm really really enjoying this story and I can't wait to read more. Your characterisation is brilliant, you've done a great job of making your characters different personalities and the story is definitely gripping!

I look forward to reading more! Once again, apologies for the late review! Please feel free to re-request, your story is great!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hi Lauren!

Don't worry about it at all -- this response hasn't exactly been quick, either! RL is quite annoying; I completely understand!

Thank you so much! I'm really pleased that you're enjoying Jordan & Parsons so far and that the agency is something you find realistic!

Thierry's plan is what I was concerned about most. I was trying to keep a balance between him having more money than sense, and coming up with something utterly convoluted, and I was worried that I had lost that balance. I needed it though, to get the plot moving :P I'm really happy that you can imagine it actually unfolding! :D

Hehe, Nick does have a bad boy side to him. (You'll find out more as the novel unfolds!) I think Molly has made him reform, because she isn't the type of person to date a criminal so he has to keep his activities on the down-low, and reduce the criminality. (Is that even a word?) With regard to what he did for Alicia -- he was a petty criminal, so taking the fall for her actually resulted in a worse sentence for him than it would've for her. And yet, Alicia values her reputation highly, so she maintains that the agency would've been ruined if she'd confessed.

Alicia is quite devious. I'm actually quite surprised that people like her, since she's a Slytherin and they aren't quite as popular :P I'm really glad that you love to hate her though, it's fabulous to hear such wonderful things about her characterization.

Thank you so much, you're absolutely fabulous and I will definitely be re-requesting! ♥

-Isobel


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Review #9, by ohmymerlin C is for Coffee, Criminals and a Catastrophe

20th February 2014:
Hey, Isobel! I am SO sorry for the delay! Real life can be a real meanie poo sometimes!

Okay so first, Alicia and Roxanne's conversation.

You asked if Roxanne acted appropriately/was justified in her treatment towards Alicia and I think she was! I don't understand the full story yet but seeing as she lied to Albus and to Roxanne and Fred and her sister, I think that's completely justified! And she's a mother of two, I think she's fully at liberty to act the way she wants to. Personally, if I was Roxanne, I would NEVER ever do that. I think on some level, Alicia and Roxanne are quite similar.

With the revelation that Alicia lied to Leanne - unless that's another sister I'm forgetting - I think Leanne was very forgiveable! I am constantly amazed that people are helping Alicia - I would be like 'NO WAY IN HELL AM I GOING NEAR YOU' :p - but it's definitely proof that she's exceptionally good at manipulating people.

I really like that you've made Alicia INCREDIBLY flawed. Many main characters are flawed but this is one of the rare main characters where I actually don't like. I don't like that she's extraordinarily selfish - I know she thinks she's doing it for the company but most of it has stemmed from not wanting Al there which I think is so selfish.

Sorry if I've offended you with my dislike of Alicia - but I love the whole story and all the other characters, don't worry! I'm loving reading this! - but she's a very difficult character to like. I just want to smack her and sit her down and give her a good talking to, ahaha :p

I thought the last section was good! It's also obvious Alicia has a small attention span. It's not that she gets easily distracted, but if something new comes up she just leaves all the other equally important stuff - helping her sister get an extension for her dream job? *coughs* - and rushes to do that? I don't know, though. I'm the sort of person who won't do anything UNTIL I've completed my first task. I get a bit OCD about that. I must have my list crossed off chronologically :p

Sophie is extremely useful, isn't she? I really like her character so far! And that is a good idea about extending the (somewhat illegal) business to Muggle-borns! (As a side note, I just found out I've been spelling that wrong all the time. I always wrote it as one word, ahaha!)

Oh, and this is a bit off topic, but you accidentally add a closing quote mark on this sentence:

I know that the more I talk, the likelier it is that I'll make her decide not to help."

but it's a simple error that's easily fixed. I always tend to do it too :p

And you said take a guess as to who Marin is but I haven't got a clue! I Googled it to see if it was a girl's name so that's how utterly clueless I am. :p Will she help with the plan for the next day? As well as helping organising the Muggle-born extension of the company? Or will she get an extension for Leanne's deadline? Or all of the above? :p

I am extremely curious as to who she's (or he's) going to be and what she/he will do!

All in all, this was a great chapter! I really loved reading about it and I am so curious as to how the plan will pan out and whether or not they're all going to get caught! All the characters seem super interesting and I really want to know the full story about Alicia and Al, and all the lying and stuff!

Speaking of, I would also like to see more Al but seeing as he's a silent partner and Al and Alicia don't really get on that fantastically, it makes sense why he's not an integral part of the story at the moment.

Will he be brought into the plan though? Seeing as the summary says 'We had a 100% success rating until Albus Potter walked in' (or some variation of that) and accidentally stuff it all up? Or is it just that Alicia is blaming him for everything as a result of guilt?

Anyway, as you can tell I'm very intrigued by this story! I'm going to add it to my favourites! :D

Again, sorry about the massive delay - I never intended it to go that long - and I will respond to your PM soon but as I said before I have something else to cross off my list first, ahaha!

Feel free to request again! :)

- Kay;a :)

Author's Response: Kayla, hi!! Don't worry about this -- this response hasn't been that prompt, either :P

Thank you! ^.^ I wasn't too sure at all, since fortunately I've not been in Roxanne's situation. I'm really pleased you caught that little subtlety about Alicia and Roxanne being more similar than they'd like to admit, because they were brought up together and their parents are still close even after all those years so they have a lot in common.

Haha! Leanne was indeed the sister that Alicia lied to. I do feel that way sometimes, but then people do /have/ to help her in order to keep the plot moving :P Not to mention that the reader (and me) know Alicia's internal thoughts, but the other characters only see the good girl exterior she tries to portray.

Don't worry! Alicia is the exception -- I /want/ you to not like her, because she's a challenge for me. I like to think that she has the "what if" factor, like when there's a choice and we choose the better option because we're nice people, and Alicia makes the bad choice -- through her, we can see what if. If that makes any sense at all?

Hehehehe. Alicia does have the other things on her mind, but she tends to focus on one thing at a time and put things in order of deadline. For example, Marin has something to do with the plan for the next day, so she has to be there that night while the deadline for Leanne's article is the next morning (and even then the Bludger would need time to decide on a candidate so the deadline's longer).

That's kind of why Alicia hired her ;) Most employers would see Sophie's youth as a disadvantage, but she sees the world through innocent eyes. She sees no reason in expanding the business to work in the Muggle world, despite the fact that someone with more life experience might be all "what about the purist clients? what about the ISS? what about such-and-such and so on" and that's why she's my favourite employee of Alicia's :P

Ooh, thanks! I'll fix that soon!

You already know who Marin is now from the forums, sort of :P As for the rest of your questions, you'll just have to read the next chapter when it comes out ;)

Hehehehehe thank you! I'm really glad that I've kept your interest, 10k into this novel!

THERE WILL BE MORE ALBUS. I feel like I've already told you this, but I may be misremembering, so here goes: he was supposed to appear in this chapter, and the whole stuffing-up incident in chapter four, but because the chapter length became longer than planned, Albus comes in in chapter four and the disastrous event happens in chapter five. :P

Oooh thank you, I'm so pleased! ♥

Again, don't worry about the delay, I'm guilty of it too! Thank you so much for reviewing, Kayla, especially such a super-long monster one as usual :P


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Review #10, by alicia and anne C is for Coffee, Criminals and a Catastrophe

11th February 2014:
Yay! I'm so excited to read this one! :D

How did she screw it all up with Roxanne? Especially if they were close enough before to almost be sisters. It must be something big!

Oh no! They're arguing, it must definitely be something big.

Aw! Oh no! Poor Albus, no wonder Roxanne isn't too happy with her. I wouldn't be either.

Awww Roxanne has kids! :D

Yay! Roxanne is going to do it! I hope it all goes according to plan, I don't want them to get caught or in trouble, I'm worried.

Alicia really need to listen to her sister, shaking him roughly and making him go to the girl and ask her outright would be the better and easier option, but this way is awesome! And action packed :P

I'm worried again about them pulling this plan off, especially that she barely has others to help her. :S

I can't wait for more! The chapters are getting more and more awesome and I can't wait to find out more! :D You're a brilliant writer and I can't help but be hooked by this story!!

You do such a fantastic job!

Author's Response: Wooo! It's great that you're excited for the new chapter! :D

Yeah, Roxanne's not exactly pleased with Alicia. I think it's because she saw first-hand how awful Albus felt, and no-one likes to see their family members being treated horribly. And yes! I actually have a one-shot in the works about Roxanne and her first-born son ^.^

Hehehehe. This is me you're talking to, remember? ;) *cackles evilly* You should be worried. But at the same time, I promise I'll be nice. :P

Yeah, Alicia really /should/ listen to Leanne... but then again, we wouldn't have this novel if she did. I'm glad you like things unfolding this way :P

She may or may not have Marin's help though ;)

Woo, thank you so much! It's so great to hear that you love this story so much and you feel it's improving! Thank you so much for reviewing, Tammi ♥


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Review #11, by mcdash B is for Babies, Blasphemy and a (Nervous) Breakdown

31st January 2014:
Oooh, loved this chapter! The pacing was wonderful, as well as the dialogue between character. It all feels very natural and works well.

Thierry's plans are very strange. I'd love to learn more about Piper, because while he's said that she would twist his words, it just seems too fishy. I do like the set up however, especially since we'll get to see Alicia ~in action. Thirty-seven hours is such a small window, but I can't wait to see her do it.

I'd love to see more of Alicia and Nick's relationship. Even though Nick's gotten into trouble with the law before, he seems like a good person, and it's apparent why Alicia is still friends with him. I like how he has limits to what he'll do, like putting Molly before the agency. Also, Alicia's confrontation with Roxanne sounds like it's going to very interesting. I love the last line of the chapter:

It's time to eat some humble pie.

This was a great second chapter, looking forward to the next one!

Author's Response: Oooh thank you! I'm really glad that you still like this novel!

Thierry's plans are indeed strange, but I think Alicia's more interested in the money to call him out on it. We do see Piper in chapters five and six :D Thirty-seven hours is a small window indeed, but if anyone can do it, it's her.

I'll definitely try to incorporate more of Nick into this story, since he's such a popular character. I don't know how right now, but I'll definitely do my best to fit their backstory into later chapters :) Hehehehe, thank you! ^.^

The third chapter is in the queue right now! Thank you for reviewing! :)


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Review #12, by alicia and anne B is for Babies, Blasphemy and a (Nervous) Breakdown

24th January 2014:
Hahaha! Poor Alicia! Although Thierry sounds hilarious and fun! I wonder why he's there?

I also love that he's too posh to be a burglar, brilliant!

Oh that is a big dilemma to have! And he seems to have thought of everything that they could do to find out if it's his baby!

Wow, he is really scared about this baby being his if he's willing to buy the other half of the business to get them to help him. Although breaking into the Ministry is not going to be easy at all!

Oooo what does he mean when he says that she done something? What did she do that will make Albus not trust her? Oo interesting!!

Awww Nick is staying out of trouble for Molly and he refuses to cancel his plans because he loves her and he's going to propose! I think he might be my favourite. :D

What's he done? What has Nick done for her?

Why does Roxanne hate her? I have so many questions right now!!

Ahhh!! I need more!! This is such a great and original idea and I am loving it so much!!!

Author's Response: Poor Alicia indeed. What a way to begin your day :P

Thierry is indeed too posh to be a burglar himself, but he's certainly not above asking Alicia to break into the Ministry. Yeah, he's one of those people who seem to have an answer for everything... not a very good thing in this case, heh.

That question will be answered in the next chapter ;)

Nick is everyone's favourite - and I can't blame you; he's a sweetheart. Or is he? ;)

That question shall be answered in a future chapter... one day.

Why Roxanne hates her is also answered in the next chapter. Which is in the queue right now, hehe. I'm so pleased that you're enjoying this novel so far ♥


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Review #13, by ohmymerlin B is for Babies, Blasphemy and a (Nervous) Breakdown

22nd January 2014:
Hey, Isobel! I'm here from my review thread :)

First off, I think your characters are all wonderful. They're all believable and realistic. So I don't think you need to worry about that so much.

And I'm just going to answer your author's note question. You gave the exact amount of background information without shoving it all in our faces. I quickly read the first chapter and you did it extremely well in that one as well! You have a knack for giving just the right amount of information without overwhelming us. Good job!

So, you asked about Thierry's plan. In my honest opinion, I think he's over-dramatising it but you have explained that in the chapter. I think he should just grow a pair and ask her the truth - but politely, of course. I understand how it's probably necessary for the plot but it's so unnecessary for Thierry. Also, I think it's a bit ridiculous he expects Alicia to do it within a day and a half but there you go! A silly boy who's made a mistake. :p

However, I think you've written it well. It is unnecessary for Thierry but I am eager to read on about it. I want to see how it all pans out, which is good because you've managed to engage your audience!

I think Alicia is quite selfish. I understand why she'd want the whole business to herself but everyone needs a partner. Again, you wrote it extremely well and we understand that she is selfish for wanting all of Jordan & Parsons but she's driven by her career and family so we are able to understand WHY she wants this. Although, I have a feeling it's more because of Albus Potter that she wants the whole thing. She probably just doesn't want to share it with him. :p

Although I did think it was quite ballsy of her to ask Nick to ditch his plans with Molly for her own gain. I understand that she's desperate but she's very focused on herself rather than others. And especially since you've portrayed Nick as a person trying to rectify his mistakes, I think it's extremely unfair for her to ask him to do that. I'm glad he said no, though.

So yeah, Alicia's selfishness was definitely not too subtle but it wasn't glaringly obvious either, which is good. It fits in effortlessly with the story and we aren't distracted by it.

Nick is an interesting character. I would have never thought the son of Dennis Creevey would be a criminal. And it's obvious Alicia is fond of him because he seems like that he is a pretty good (and useful, especially in Alicia's business) friend to have.

What's even better about Nick is that you've made him wanting to change for Molly but he still is willing to commit crimes. And you've also shown that he pays for his crimes and he doesn't get out of jail without any consequences. Which is good.

I think he's popular with your reviewers because he seems quite likeable - even though he IS a criminal. :p He's just really intriguing and I also want to know more about him. Like why was he in jail? What did he do to finally land there? How did he cope in jail? You get my drift.

All in all, this was an excellent chapter. You write very well and I didn't notice any grammar or spelling errors, which is an added bonus!

Anywho, I hope this review was helpful. It was my first time leaving a proper, helpful review so I was a bit nervous typing it, haha!

Feel free to request again! :)

- Kayla :)

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Review #14, by mcdash A is for Adultery, Awkwardness and Albus Potter

10th January 2014:
Hello there! I loved this chapter, and I think it's such a great start to the story. It's fresh, interesting, and the ending definitely will keep people wanting to read the rest.

I love the idea of Lee Jordan starting a business like Jordan and Parsons because it's something he would do besides his radio station. Alicia continuing with the business while also pulling such a selfless act by letting her parents retire makes me wonder what house she was in at Hogwarts. Part of me says Slyhterin, but another part says she could be a Gryffindor. Hopefully we find out in later chapters!

Alcia and Al's relationship seems very promising as of right now, but I can definitely feel the awkwardness in it. I suppose it's because they're each other's ex and are now business partners, but I feel there would still be some chemistry between them. I mean, they didn't start dating for nothing, right?

Overall, loved this chapter! :)

Author's Response: Hello! Oooh, thank you for the lovely feedback!

I'm actually planning a prequel to this novel that details how Lee and Bex created Jordan and Parsons, but it won't be up until I've got my WIP count down :P Alicia does do a selfless thing for her dad, but she also shows her selfish side in future chapters, as you've seen. And she's a Slytherin; that'll be mentioned in a future chapter :)

Well, this is an Albus/OC but I never said anything about Albus/Alicia ;) Heh, they're definitely at a loss about how to act around each other, what with their history. I suppose they might still have chemistry, but they did break up for a reason. Hmm. ;)

Thank you so much for reviewing! :D


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Review #15, by Evelynn Rose A is for Adultery, Awkwardness and Albus Potter

9th January 2014:
This looks like it will be an awesome story. Keep writing! I hope to see some new chapters up soon!

Author's Response: The third chapter is in the queue right now, and I'll definitely keep writing! Thank you for reviewing! :)

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Review #16, by coolgf A is for Adultery, Awkwardness and Albus Potter

8th January 2014:
Yes I love this first chapter 😊

Author's Response: Thank you very much for reviewing! I'm really glad you like this chapter! :)

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Review #17, by TotallyNotVernonDursleyInDisguise A is for Adultery, Awkwardness and Albus Potter

7th January 2014:
I'm just going to call it right now.
I'm betting on Alicia/Albus.
Just saying.
I really like this idea! It sounds quite original and cool. Jordan and Parsons sounds interesting, and I'd probably like to work there ;) so, anyway, can't wait to read the rest so keep writing!
-TotallyNotVernonDursleyInDisguise

Author's Response: Hehehehehe. We'll have to wait and see, won't we? ;)

Thank you! I'd love to work at Jordan and Parsons too; if only they existed in real life. I'll definitely keep writing, don't worry!

Thanks for the review!


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Review #18, by itsonlyjamespotter A is for Adultery, Awkwardness and Albus Potter

7th January 2014:
oh this looks a fun one! I'm looking forward to the next chapters! ~ Hannah x

Author's Response: Oooh thank you, Hannah! Chapter three is in the queue right now! :) Thank you for reviewing!

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Review #19, by PolyJuice_ A is for Adultery, Awkwardness and Albus Potter

22nd December 2013:
NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. ISOBELL. YOU'RE A CRUEL HUMAN BEING. Why has this not been updated for two months? *flops around helplessly*

I mean, we need chapter two! What's gonna happen to Alicia? And Al? I CAN ALREADY FEEL THE SEXUAL TENSION. How are you supposed to create a ship name for them, though? :(

Also I feel like we totally need a spin off about Sophie's giraffe incident.

Okay, *collects thoughts* I really loved this first chapter, you're a fantastic writer and I can't wait for more. Each character has their own...uniqueness? That's a weird way to put it.

The whole story was very flowy-flowy *wiggles arms a bit* and I loved the irony of it being Albus Potter being the buyer.

Liz

Author's Response: YES. YES. IT'S BEEN UPDATED, LIZ, SHH ;) *catches Liz, puts her the right way up and sits her in front of a computer to R&R chapter two*

Hehehehehe. I wasn't aware of any sexual tension when I wrote the chapter though, but I'll take your word for it. :P

Noted. I'll definitely write that one day. In the meantime, I'm plotting a prequel that focuses on how Lee and Bex created the agency; I have the summary and title if you're interested! :)

I'm really pleased. AND THERE IS MORE HERE. The third chapter is also 2/3rds written :D

Thank you for reviewing ♥

-Isobel


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Review #20, by Secret Snata A is for Adultery, Awkwardness and Albus Potter

13th December 2013:
The amazing Hufflepuff Santa is back!

I've never really thought much about Lee's children. I don't know why. So it's good that you are using them; I like new characters.

I find this business really creative. I never really thought about how there might be businesses sprung from the second wizarding war. This is a really creative idea you have here.

It's ironic how Alicia is hoping that the buyer is anybody but Albus Potter, and it is Albus Potter. Love it.

I hope we learn more about what happened in the breakup with Albus and Alicia. I wonder why they did not leave on good parting terms.

I am grinning at picturing Sophie turning into a giraffe and breaking the ceiling. I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time, but it sure is now.

Hmm, I like how you leave us on edge how the appointment with Theirry will go.

Alicia seems like a good girl, I just think she hold on to grudges *cough* Albus *cough*. They should be fine, since it looks like Albus is trying to get their past out of the way and be professional. I think Alicia might do something though.

Great chapter! And I do hope you continue it, it would be a shame if you didn't.

Author's Response: It's great to see you back! :D

I didn't want to come up with an OC, since there are quite a few at the agency and I wanted to connect the next-gen to Potterverse. Then I remembered Lee Jordan's radio show in DH, and decided that he must have done other things to help the war effort, especially with the Muggle-born Registration Commission, so the idea for the agency was born. (In fact, I have a short story in the works about how Lee and Bex set up Jordan and Parsons!)

Hehe. Of course it would be the one person she didn't want, is it? :P

We'll definitely find out more about the Albus/Alicia breakup, and there'll be a confrontation between them where all the secrets they're hiding is revealed later in the story. ;)

HAHA! I wanted to inject some humour into the chapter, and I thought an Animagus form would be a great way of doing it, since I was trying to highlight Sophie's Transfiguration abilities at the same time. So I'm glad you like it :)

You'll have to wait and see if Alicia will do something ;)

The next chapter is up, and I will definitely complete this; all of my WIPs will eventually be completed no matter how long it takes me. I always feel terrible abandoning stories :P

Thank you for the review! ♥


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Review #21, by VioletBlade A is for Adultery, Awkwardness and Albus Potter

12th December 2013:
Isobel! I actually really love the concept for this Albus/OC! :D I like that they've already dated but you can definitely tel there are some unresolved tensions/feelings (perhaps? *hint hint*) still there! I like that the protagonist, Alicia, isn't a perfect character who has never done anything she regrets, etc. and that by the first chapter we can already tell she's made some mistakes in her life. Also I love the angle of Alicia - I never have read a story about one of Lee Jordan's kids but I love when authors branch out into different next generation kids besides the ones that are always written about! :P Anyway, as I told you already, I would appreciate more of this being written, just saying! ;)

Author's Response: Becca! Hi! I'm really glad you like the concept of this novel! :D Yeah, I wanted something a little different to the usual Albus/OCs we see on the archives, so I decided to give them a prior history! And Alicia is definitely a flawed character; that's one of the reasons I love writing her. As requested, chapter two is now up ;)

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Review #22, by sharzamow A is for Adultery, Awkwardness and Albus Potter

28th November 2013:
First off, well done, well done with being so consistent in first-person, and having it so easy to read and sort of smooth - honestly, I know lots of people write in first person but generally with fics I find it difficult to read first person as it can be a bit...awkward? Because you need such a strong grasp on the character, and the right balance of inner dialogue and outer dialogue etc. But I think you hit almost the perfect balance, and I got a nice idea of Alicia's character!

Mostly I just need to commend you on the fabulous idea you have for this fic - really original, really interesting - I love HP fics set in Hogwarts, of course, but it's lovely to have one set somewhere else, and in such an interesting environment!

I think I'd just like for the fic to move a wee bit slower, however - not at a boring pace, but I'd like more of a feel of Albus' character and his and Alicia's background/relationship, and a bit more on the other characters, too. I really love the sound of Nick in particular, and I'm interested in what's in store for Alicia and Albus already!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I actually prefer third person POV, although I'm growing to like first person POV more as I write it, so it's great to hear that you feel I'm consistent with my POV and with Alicia's characterization! :D

And I'm pleased you like the concept of this fic - as great as Hogwarts stories are, it's nice to have others too, especially with next-gen :D

Heh, I understand what you mean but it wouldn't be much of a novel if I gave away everything in the first chapter ;) Don't worry, you'll learn more about each character as the story progresses!


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Review #23, by SkyEcho A is for Adultery, Awkwardness and Albus Potter

25th November 2013:
Hi The Misfit!
I really enjoyed reading your first chapter! You have a really unique story idea and I look forward to finding out what happens next.

Your first person narration is consistent throughout the chapter. It's written in a way that's easy to read and I like that we can really hear Alicia's voice here.

I like her. She's been put in an uncomfortable situation, but does it because she really cares about her parents. That's definitely something I can relate to. I also really loved that her dad was the one holding out on signing the documents until he knew she would be ok working with Albus. That's really sweet and and shows the kind of relationship they have.
I also found it interesting that she's the one who was unfaithful. Although we can see that she takes ownership for that - we still don't really know how she feels about Albus now - so I look forward to seeing her work through that as the days progress.

The agency is also a really interesting idea, yet also realistic. I can imagine lots of people who would seek out its services. I liked how you introduced the staff with tiny glimpses into their personalities. It gives us enough information to become interested in them, yet not too much that it alters the pace of your chapter. I particularly liked the way Alicia described Nick. I definitely look forward to finding out more about the staff members.

Looking forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Hi! I'm glad you like the idea of this story, and that you want to read on! :D

I'm really pleased to hear that you're liking Alicia's narration so far, and her attitudes to those around her - her parents and Albus - and yes, she is closer to her dad than to her mum (but her sister is closer to her mum than her dad so it's probably normal in multi-child families?)

Yeah, I wanted a character who had screwed up and who feels guilty for her actions, and yes, there will be more about her unfaithfulness as time progresses :D

Ooooh, thank you! That is exactly what I was hoping to achieve with my introduction of her team, so I'm delighted to hear I was successful! And haha, Nick seems to be a favourite among the readers... HPFF seems to like it's bad boys ;)

The next chapter will be up soon!


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Review #24, by Cavell A is for Adultery, Awkwardness and Albus Potter

31st October 2013:
Ooh, I really love the concept of this! Your plot seems original so far, and I really love how this is about Lee Jordan's kids, so it's like a whole new slate. Alicia is already a lovely character so far -- she's not your average OC and isn't overly insane or something, and I love her professionalism (um, no idea how to spell that, sorry!) and her reasons for letting the company to Albus despite the whole ex thing, which is really creative, by the way!

Also, the companyyy~ All of this just adds up to one big, amazing idea, not to mention your description is just right in between too much and too little and your characters are really entertaining so far, and your writing just flows so well and is just easy to read. 10/10, definitely going into my favourites! Hope you update soon :D

--Linn

Author's Response: I'm really glad that you love the idea of this story - I never get tired of hearing that :D I'm pleased you like Alicia too, and the way I've characterized her :) (BTW, you spelt professionalism right ;)) and it's great to hear that you find the plot so far creative!

It's always a pleasure to hear such lovely compliments, and thank you for favouriting this! There's a new update soon! :D

-Isobel


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Review #25, by fairytaled A is for Adultery, Awkwardness and Albus Potter

27th October 2013:
this seems dead interesting and i love the idea of the company and i cant wait for more ♥

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! I'm really glad that you like the concept of Jordan and Parsons! More will come soon! :)

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