2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Infinityx I Remember

2nd January 2014:
Hi there! I'm here for the sixth day of 12 days of reviewing challenge.

This was a very unexpected twist to the story, and I think it was a really good ending. I loved the way you formed the plot around abilities that Rorie and Scorpius seemed to have and gave a lot of emphasis on their relationship. This chapter was a real shocker. :)

There are some things which I'm confused about though. According to your last chapter, Rorie is a muggle. She never had any abilities and it was all because of schizophrenia. Then it wouldn't have been possible for her to know about Hogwarts or any of the other details that were mentioned earlier. While your plot is very interesting, these things throw it off a bit. Also, according to this, Scorpius is a muggle doctor as well, or so it seems.

I think there should have been better characterization done and the setting given more thought. There are a lot of things that don't fit in with the story, although overall your idea was brilliant. :)
You can PM me if you have any questions about the review.


Author's Response: Well thank you for reviewing! I totally understand why you're confused, so I'll explain a bit.

I love the story of Harry Potter, do not get me wrong, but I wrote this story basically saying it doesn't exist. Rorie creates this world and tries to justify why she does what she does.
I probably should have changed the name of the hospital to something similar, which I had all intentions of doing, but forgot!

Scorpius is kinda like a doctor. Both Rose and him work for his father that owns this hospital. The back story is that it was shut down because the patients didn't have anything to do with their time, so Scorpius's father took it and made it into a school/hospital. Scorpius is a "helper" of the schizophrenia/ making up things in their mind section along with Rose. Both Scorpius and Rose do not have any medical problems (besides Scorpius's bad circulation which causes his hands to be cold) but gets a free education while making money in the "family business."

I know I should have thought it out more, I probably will go back and edit it, but I had the plot in mind and just wanted to write it!

If you have anymore tips, do not hesitate to let me know! Have a lovely holiday!


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Review #2, by shewhomustnotbenamed_ Prophecy

24th December 2013:
Aw that was really cute!!!

Author's Response: Thank you :)

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