Reading Reviews for Time Marches On
  
30 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Veritaserum27 ...tick...tock...

25th October 2014:
Hello!

I'm tagging you from review tag on the forums!

Really, really great job with this. You did such a fantastic job portraying grief and not over dramatizing it or trying to pass it off as an emotion that passes through you and then is gone. It will never leave. George will never stop grieving the loss of Fred. But, as you so beautifully characterized in this piece it lives within you and breathes for you and changes and grows along with you. I think you hit each significant moment for George: how the summer passed and he knew that he reminded others of Fred, how strong Ginny really was, how large chunks of time would go by and he was suddenly aware of its passing, and finally the first birthday without Fred.

You brilliantly used the tick...tock in this piece and I loved how it was shortened as George was able to accept that Fred was gone and that he could live again. The end was absolutely amazing - George's realization that the act of living is how to best remember and grieve for Fred.

Awesome, awesome job! I saw in your author's not that you are proud of this - and you should be!!!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Hi Beth!

Thanks for this amazing review, I couldn't believe my eyes when I was reading it through. It took a while for the stupid grin to disappear as well!

It has been over a year since I posted this and unlike some of my other stuff I still actually do like this so to get a review on this was actually a lovely surprise.

I haven't really mastered the art of responding to praise so I don't really know what to say except from THANK YOU!

Fin.





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Review #2, by HEG ...tick...tock...

17th May 2014:
Hello. I'm here to review this story :P.

Plot/Plot arc: I like the way that you've used second person POV to develop your plot. It really has worked you know. Second person POV seems to be rather popular right now. I like the concept of George missing Fred but he still wants to live for himself. I guess that this is Fred looking down on George right? I really like the idea that Fred is telling him to just move on but George loves Fred too much.

Emotions/Detail: Well. This is a very emotional story and I can say that for sure. I like the way that you've also used second person POV to show all the different emotions in this story. You have managed that very well. Feeligs of anger, sadness and regret rushed through me while I was reading this story. I think that is the mark of a talented author if you can see or feel what the character in the story is seeing or feeling. Well done.

Characterisation: Even though in the books, George is portrayed as a happy, loyal, disobedient, friendly, mischeivious person, in this he seems rather cut off and sad. This is understandable because he has lost the one he loves most. I think you have made Fred's character entirely right because he is telling George just to move on. I am visioning him doing that right now :P.

Constructive critisism: I think that in SOME places, your story lost the flow. Don't worry though, that only comes with practise and no one is perfect! Other than that, an awsome read.

HEG

Author's Response: Hi, thanks for reviewing my story, it was very kind of you!

I think this is the first time I tried to write in second person and I really enjoyed it, Second person seems to be quite popular at the moment your right.

This is actually from George's perspective but he is wondering how Fred would cope in the same situation.

Thank you, I'm pleased all these emotions came across, it was really important that they did.

Thanks for your kind review !


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Review #3, by HeyMrsPotter ...tick...tock...

24th April 2014:
Hello :D I'm a sucker for sadness and what could be sadder than a story of George without Fred?

I really love the structure of this. The repetition of the 'tick tock' throughout is really effective. I like that you linked it with the Weasley clock and the theme of time healing.

I thought you write George's grief completely perfectly. This story is exactly how I would imagine him being after Fred's death. From not opening the joke shop, and feeling resentment when the other's started to move on and feel happy again, him keeping the last things that Fred touched. Then that line about him looking in the mirror...it almost broke me!

The use of his birthday was a great way for him to finally start coming to terms with the loss of his twin, and of course his family would be determined to make him be sociable on that day-that's so perfect it could be cannon.

My favourite part of this by far was your closing paragraph, I loved the use of the quote and then the last line was just excellent. Really brilliant job on this, though I feel utterly depressed at Fred's death all over again, this really was a great read.

Dee :)

Author's Response: Hi! I know right, so sad.

The clock theme is defiantly my favourite element of this story.

Thank you, that's very kind :D I tried to really focus on the emotions and I think it's even more important than normal I'm this POV.

I'm sorry that it made you depressed but also a little happy because it means it worked.

Thanks again!


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Review #4, by MyMyMiss ...tick...tock...

7th March 2014:
A wise man one said - should be once ;)

Anyway - not that's out of the way - hi! here for the blackout battle!!

I cried - seriously, you made me cry! and I am cold and heartless the majority of the time and this story made me cry - the way that George is trying to cope with Fred's death throughout the whole story is just gut wrenching and then he finally comes to terms with it at the end of the story - it's just such a sad little tale.

I love how you threw that line in their by Dumbledore though, I thought that was really nice - and me, losing a brother myself know's how George feels, and you captured the emotion of losing a loved one really well, losing a Brother, let alone a twin, is hard so it would of been so hard on George - and this is the first story I've ever read from George's PoV that is about his twins death that deserves a 10/10 !!

brilliant writing!! keep up the good work!! :)

10/10

~MMM

-Blackout battle round 2.

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for reviewing!

Thanks for pointing that out :D

OMG. I made you cry :o *Hands tissues*

I'm sorry! But it makes me sort of happy at the same time because it means my writing was half decent. I really love that line from Dumbledore, actually I love all his lines but that one in particular.

I'm sorry to hear about your brother. Thanks so much for your kind words and praise, it was so lovely to read when I saw it!

Cannons


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Review #5, by Maelody ...tick...tock...

7th March 2014:
This is such a strong, strong, piece! So lyrical, and so sad, yet so encouraging!

I want you to know, you capture death and the way people go through it (the closest people) very well. I don't know if you've gone through it, and I'm deeply sorry if you have, but this story reminds me of how I lost one of my best friends in the entire world, and how her mother is coping right now. Every word of this rings true, all the way up to how you learn that you've just got to start living again. It's a part of life. The worst part of life, but a part of it. Life and death.

The way that he didn't admit that his brother was 'dead' until the very end gave me goosebumps and I nearly cried. It must take a lot of acceptance from a twin. Though he is a Weasley, and he is strong like that! :D

I'm favoriting this story. I think I've done it with all the Fred/George stories I've read so far, but they're so good! Especially this one! :) I love this topic in general and seeing how people cope with the process and you've done a wonderful job!

A truly amazing story that I would love to read again and again as a coping mechanism for Fred's death! :)

~Mae

Author's Response: Hey Mae!

I'm so happy that you reviewed this, my absolute favourite thing that I've written so far.

I haven't gone through it yet and I hopefully wont have to for a long time. *fingers crossed* I'm sorry that you've gone through it :(

Thanks so much for the favourite, it means a lot! and all your compliments and encouraging words are so inspiring for me :D

Cannons


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Review #6, by TheHeirOfSlytherin ...tick...tock...

4th March 2014:
For Blackout Bingo.

Hey!

Stories about Fred and George during and after the battle always make me feel so sad, yet they are my favorite stories to read. Everyone makes them so different, showing a different part of the event or a different view of what happened. I think this is one of my favorites - watching George start to heal. I like that he does, that he comes to understand that time heals and that he can live without forgetting him. It was such a sweet touch.

The repetition of tick... tock... was cool, especially near the end when it got shorter. I imagine that was George healing, that he wasn't constantly listening to each second that passed. That's just how I saw it in my head. :)

I really enjoyed this one-shot.

Sam.

Author's Response: Hi, thanks for your awesome review I loved reading through it.

It was one of your favourite awesome!

I'm so excited that you picked up on the fact that they got shorter.

Thanks again for your review


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Review #7, by Secret Santa ...tick...tock...

3rd January 2014:
Hi, Secret Santa here again!

I'm rather horrible at getting these gifts out in a timely fashion... sorry!

This was such a sad story! Fred's death was one that hit me the worst in Deathly Hallows. I may have just sat there, staring at the book in shock for about 10 minutes. And George's emotions in this story were very well portrayed. The despair, and the healing came across very nicely. I liked the clock ticking throughout the story, it definitely rounded out the theme.

The only thing I have to say is I don't think George was there when Fred died. I think it was Fred, Percy, Harry, Ron and Hermione... so the moment replaying in his mind wouldn't really happen (unless he just imagined what it looked like).

Otherwise, great job with this story! Very emotional, and very real.

Author's Response: hey,

I'm glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for bringing that point up...I guess I just overlooked that totally!

Cannons


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Review #8, by Courtney Dark ...tick...tock...

27th November 2013:
Tag!

Wow, this was such an amazing one-shot. Almost every fanfiction I read set straight after Fred's death or even a fanfiction that mentions Fred, I feel my eyes start to tear up because even though it's been six years (HOLY CRAP!) since the DH was released, I still wish he wasn't dead:( Anyway, your story was no exception - I wanted to burst into tears by the end of it.

I loved that you used second person, because we so rarely see that around the archives, or anywhere really, and it really made this story seem so much more personal. Like I could actually feel George's pain and longing to have Fred back by his side.

I absolutely loved this bit: 'The worst moments are when you catch yourself, peering over your shoulder for him, and then you realise heís not there, and wonít be here ever again. Or when you say something, and in your mind, you know what he would say.' I've never had anyone close to me die, at least not in recent years, but this seems exactly the way George would act, and it just makes me so sad!

And I loved the bit (well, I loved it but it made me feel so sorry for George) when George was saying that it should have been Fred who had lived as he would cope better, going around and cracking jokes.

Anyway, this was an amazing one-shot, I just wish there was more!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hi Courtney!

I'm so happy that it brewed that much emotion within, but it's good that you didn't actually cry ;)

I think second person worked well for this and I found it surprisingly fun to write in second person.

Thanks for the amazing review as you can tell I really can't respond to praise well!

Cannons :)


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Review #9, by Debra20 ...tick...tock...

20th November 2013:
Helloo there! I am so very sorry for being this late. NaNo has completely taken over my life and coupled with the amount of school work I have, the fact that I had an active review thread completely slipped my mind.

I wanted to tell you that I loved this story! I don't think I've ever read a second person POV story before, and I honestly never thought impossible, but you proved me wrong in a big way! Not only did it seem appropriate, fit for the story you were telling, but in my mind, I just couldn't imagine it any other way. And believe me, that's a very hard thing to make me do haha

Concerning your area of concern (ignore my early morning repetitiveness please :P) I was not bored at all. It was a heartfelt story, the emotions and evolution of George's feelings and his healing process seemed perfectly natural to me (although I couldn't be completely sure, as I've never been something as harsh as he has). I especially liked how George coping with the events were in tandem with the clock's ticking slowing down, ever so slightly. I think that was an AMAZING touch to add. It was weird, but while I was reading those clock sounds, in my mind, I never imagined a clock, rather, I associated them with the beatings of his heart. At first they were powerful and fast and often because the loss was still fresh, but over time, as healing started to happen, he started soothing and patching himself up, so the tick tocks were less often, less powerful. Great job!

I think it's a very well written piece!

Author's Response: Hey! No problem I know how it is! :L

I am so happy that I have convinced you especially if that is a hard thing to do in your case :P

I never thought of it as the beating as a heart but that works so well, thanks for pointing that out to me :D

Thanks for the review, I don't know how to respond to praise tbh but seriously thanks for the review it means a lot.

:)


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Review #10, by MrsKatieGrint ...tick...tock...

14th November 2013:
Hi there!

So I definitely put this story on a list of mine to personally read, when I got the time, but since you requested, I'm so happy I got to take this on sooner rather than later.:D Yay.

So I should have probably mentioned in my bio that I adore Fred/George fics to the moon and back twice over. They are probably my favorite when written well. And yours was super fantastic, like forreal, I was tearing up there quite a bit. Your writing is super fabulous. It seemed just like the thing George would do. I definitely love the emotion going on in this one-shot. It was so realistic, I swear if I could reach through my computer and give George a hug, I totally would!

I think this was such a powerful, and moving one-shot. I almost didn't want it to end, because of how swept up I was in it. It was seriously beautiful, and definitely tear jerking.

I think your plot, and story characterization was stunning. Just stunning. It flowed so soothingly, and nicely, and I just loved the way everyone acted, and the way you portrayed them.

This was seriously one of the best one-shots I've ever read, definitely favoriting this!(:
Really, superb job deary!

Cheers! Katie(:

Author's Response: Hi!

Man...so many compliments here...:o

I don't know how to respond if I'm honest, how can I respond to that? Well I'm so pleased you enjoyed it, especially since you adore Fred/George fics to the moon and back!

Powerful was defiantly what I was going for as was my top secret ploy to try and make somebody cry! ;)

I struggle with characterization so much so thanks a lot!

YOU FAVOURITED IT! HOLY ELDER WAND :O

;)

thanks for the review, it was amazing :D


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Review #11, by MissesWeasley123 ...tick...tock...

7th November 2013:
Well this is beautiful.

Having beta read something of yours, I was really curious as too what more you could write. You wrote your original character so well, it's so amazing how you do the same justice to canon characters too.

Your beginning was so hooking, I really enjoyed it.

The use of tick tock was so intelligent. It's as if each time you heard the clock tick, a knife would stab George's heart. It was so painful to him, because like you said - time isn't always healing.

I liked how George was almost there - he had almost forgotten, but then, he didn't.

Your last line stuck out to me the most, because it was so brilliantly written and gave me goosebumps.

You know that in your death you will be reunited. For your twin is dead, and the only way to see him again, is by living.

Perfect.

You should be really proud of this piece, it's very strong and beautiful.

Author's Response: wow! thanks for the lovely review!

I'm so happy with your comment about my original character :D

There are to many compliments in this I don't know how to respond ;)

The idea of this came from the concept of time, George came afterwards, so I'm pleased you thought it worked well.

I think that's always the case, you never forget but you can move on.

I loved that last line so it's great that you picked it out :)

Thanks for the awesome review!


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Review #12, by lindslo2012 ...tick...tock...

2nd November 2013:
This was so beautifully written and it almost made me cry!
I can't even begin to imagine how it feels to lose a twin to death... that's probably the most painful bond to ever be broken.
I LOVED IT!

Author's Response: hey thanks for the review!

I'm glad you loved it!

:D


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Review #13, by Cavell ...tick...tock...

1st November 2013:
Hi there! It's Raine from the forums with your requested review :) To start with, I would just like to say that this was a wonderful idea for a story -- I've seen people do the whole George-after-Fred's-death thing but I've never actually /read/ one before, so this is new to me. Your first line took me in immediately, which rarely happens, so well done! Personally, I'm totally useless when it comes to first lines, so it just amazes me when people can pull me in with just a first line. Anyway, I loved the use of repetition throughout the one-shot -- like you said in the first paragraph, the ticking of the clock is often ignored, so the whole tick-tock thing really ties in well with that, so good job!

You can feel George's grief in every word, how completely devastated he is after the death of his twin, and having never lost someone in my immediate circle of friends or family, I honestly felt terrible for him :( I adored this line in particular: "Time stops for nobody, it marches on, akin to that of a well-organized army, and youíre being dragged with it." I just thought it was a beautiful metaphor that explained the whole one-shot. I felt tears welling up in my eyes while I was reading the thing, and although this was rather short, I didn't feel it was rushed or anything and the plot was well thought out. You really feel for George as he thinks about all of the things he and Fred would have done had his twin not died, so all in all it's just really sad.

How the amount of ticking seemed to go down and down until there was only two really got to me, as well as the fact that by the end of the one-shot, you knew he was healing and you knew he was getting through it slowly but surely, and all in all, this was a wonderful read. It was very good at making you feel what George felt not to mention the flow and pacing wasn't rushed at all, and the writing itself was lovely, and I saw no mistakes in the piece, so well done!

Thanks for requesting, feel free to re-request on another story, and see you around the forums!

Author's Response: Hi, thanks for reviewing this for me especially as you said you don't like anst-y stuff as much.

I seriously don't know how to respond to reviews that are so complimentary about my stories, but I was really happy reading this review!

I am so so happy that you picked that line out because its one that I hoped stood out, and the fact that you said you had tears welling up was great :D (in a good way ofc (; )

Thanks for the brilliant review, I enjoyed reading it!


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Review #14, by heartjily4ever ...tick...tock...

1st November 2013:
HeartJily4evers reviews.
Wow, this is a really beautiful piece. It's really shot as well. I think you could have maybe even made it a bit longer, possibly.
I think the way you portrayed George was really sad. I felt such a pull in my stomach, sadness. The ticking was such a good insert as well. It really added to the story, the sadness of it. The way Fred's time had run out but George's was still ticking. He still had a lot of time left.
I think his thoughts are incredibly realistic as well. The way he thinks about his brother. And I think his family would bring him out if it. They are such a close knit family.
Well done. I really like this one shot.

Author's Response: Hey!

thanks for taking the time to review this.

I'm happy you enjoyed it, so many compliments!


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Review #15, by MC_HK ...tick...tock...

31st October 2013:
Hello! Here with your long over due review!

I quite liked this! It's very sad, and very believable. It's beautiful the way you've told the story of George and his emotions, and the way the world is pretty much changing and going on while he is still stuck in the same time, but you show that changing throughout the story and it's a lovely kind of metaphor.

I did see a few errors in there, but looking at your other reviews it seems that people already pointed them out, so I won't :)

Overall, I really like this! I don't have much CC, except for maybe some of the sentences could have been a little longer, but that's really really nitpicky. But honestly, this is awesome :)

--MC_HK

Author's Response: Hey!

Thanks for taking the time to review!

It seriously means a lot.

I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D


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Review #16, by shez ...tick...tock...

29th October 2013:
I love this. I love the extended time-ticking-away metaphor and the use of 2nd person and the hopeful ending and the general angsty awesomeness of this piece. You really have a knack for writing angst don't you?

Concerning grammar, you employ the use of the comma very heavily, sometimes correctly, sometimes not. Just something I thought I'd comment on. Personally, I think writers are allowed to get away with these sort of things provided it adds something to the story and for yours it does so...yeah, I would just leave it as is. :)

I don't really have anything else to say other than be proud! It's a lovely one-shot, a joy to read, so thank you for requesting :)

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for the review.

It seems that angst is my thing ;) I joke I don't know!

Thanks again!

:)


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Review #17, by randomwriter ...tick...tock...

28th October 2013:
Cannons! :) I'm back! (You must be so bugged of me by now :P) Anyway, I've been wanting to read this ever since you reviewed 'Myrtle' and told me that it inspired you to write this. I couldn't believe that my work had such a great influence on someone, and that review made my day. Seriously! I'm sorry it took me so long to get here. I've been so busy!

Now, onto the review! Your story was just so SO powerful. I haven't read many stories revolving George and angst, probably because I tend to stay away from stories that focus on Fred's death. I'm still not over it. I've always felt so bad for George. It's difficult to lose a family member, but Fred was so much more to George. They shared such an amazing bond, and his death was extremely tragic.

You've done a great job of writing this in second person. Not many stories are written that way, and I don't know if you've done this before, but I can say that you've mastered it perfectly!

I also enjoyed the way you've written this. It's so stylistic and lyrical. I think you've done a great job, especially by adding the refrain- 'Tick-tock...' It was so powerful and rhythmic.I loved it.

I like how this story didn't really follow a story line or plot, but simply focused on George and his emotions. You've done great justice to his feelings of extreme grief and bereavement.

I found a few errors here and there, but I see that you've gotten it beta'd already. Maybe it's just something you both missed. A read through should solve your problems :)

For example, One moment you were duelling side by side, fighting for a cause, as you had always hoped (INSERT COMMA HERE) the next your twin falls, dead before his chin smashes in-to (no need to hyphenate) the concrete.
Gosh that is such a minor thing, I feel stupid for pointing it out.

"You are times prisoner."- This line was amazing. I loved how it just pulled me in, like a trap. It goes well with the emotion and sentiment of the piece. Just one thing- it should be 'time's'. There's an apostrophe.

"They see him in you, but he is gone, and time marches on. "
^Another line I absolutely loved. It made me feel so sad and hollow. I think that being able to evoke such emotion in a reader is a mark of a great writer.

Towards the end though, I felt this duality where I found it both realistic and not very realistic at the same time. While I thought that George's emotions were realistic, for he had lost his twin, I felt that there was something off about how he kept wondering who would crack the jokes and make things fun. I know that Fred was often portrayed as the funnier of the two, but George was no less really. And he was completely aware of that, so maybe he would have wished for death to have taken him instead, but I doubt he'd question his own abilities in this regard. Maybe if he'd wondered if he'd ever find anyone to joke with, or if he'd ever feel like cracking jokes again, would have been a little more realistic. But that's just it to me. Many people might not agree with me here. it's just an opinion :)

You went back to drawing comparisons, to give the notion that George is caged and has lost his freedom. The phrase 'prisoner in his own mind' really stood out. Once again, it made me feel. It's brilliant.

There's another phrase where you've said 'but the smallest things set you of'. It should be off, not of :)

I would say that this has the most perfect ending ever. It tugged on my heart. Seriously. The last paragraph was so SO beautiful. It was sort of bittersweet almost. It rounded everything up nicely and I'm glad that you made it a point to show that the other's hadn't forgotten or moved on too easily.

Your story is amazing. I'm so glad I chose to read this, and if Myrtle really brought it on, I feel so proud. Of you, of course. For taking on all that angst and turning it into this lovely one-shot! I would really like to read more of your work sometime :)
Great job!

Author's Response: LOOK. I'm going to be honest I have not responded to this awesome review because I don't know how to! It just amazing.

I'm like seriously intimidated by the humungous wall of text above, I don't know where to start!

The fact that you thought it was powerful is great, that's what I was hoping for and the fact that you think I've mastered second person perfectly in this just AHSWIhsaeph iksj !!

Thanks for pointing out the errors, I will try and edit them in at some point.

I just thought that death really messes with your head, emotions and impacts massively in your life that he would feel uncertain of himself in probably every aspect of his life now that he doesn't have Fred including the jokes and stuff. I feel it would be unrealistic if he didn't question himself.

Seriously the fact that you think the endings perfect *high 5* :D

Thanks so much for leaving this massive review, it was so helpful and flattering :D






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Review #18, by toomanycurls ...tick...tock...

27th October 2013:
This is incredible. I love the way you've put a very clear sign of time without a loved one so close. The tick tock must have seemed excruciating to George. I could really feel how his pain was effecting his moment by moment existence.

The list of voids that Fred left made me tear up a bit. The idea that they were friends, brothers, and so much more. His replay of the moment of Fred's death is quite haunting.

The way you describe time in this is quite menacing. Time is the enemy as it removes George further from a time when he and Fred were together. His outrage at seeing others move on really struck a chord with me. I'm sure that happens so often when a person loses someone so close - others will heal at different rates and it's hard not to feel that bitterness towards those who are back to a happier life. You broke my heart as George thought through what he'd be doing if Fred were alive. The teasing and joke shop thoughts were so sad. I imagine every milestone George experiences after Fred's death with carry a note of "what if he were here?"

Healing is painful and you talk about that quite beautifully. George's moments of forgetting for just a second that Fred is gone (and looking for him) was incredibly sad and yet a sign of hope that he's starting to move on. When George comes full circle and realizes that to live is to remember his twin is quite amazing. You've done an incredible tale of grief and healing. I really love that you took the story to a point where he's able see the point in continuing to live his life.

I've enjoyed your other stories but I do feel this story shows a great deal of depth and magic. Thank you so much for writing this!

Author's Response: hi!

Look this one shot is my favourite so I am SO glad that you like it. I am awful at responding to praise but this review means a lot!

I'm pleased you mentioned your point about 'Time is the enemy as it removes George further from a time when he and Fred were together.' because that is exactly what I was going for.

'Thank you so much for writing this!' - this honestly made my day!

Thanks so much and I'm happy you enjoyed it! :D


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Review #19, by Lululuna ...tick...tock...

27th October 2013:
Hi there, here for your requested review! :) And first can I say, that is a stunning banner! :O

Anyway, now on to the loveliness of the actual story. I love stories like this, stylistic streams of consciousness which are written to be lyrical and emotional, not necessarily plot-driven. I really liked the use of second person, and really think it added something direct and even more emotional to the story. I imagined it almost like George telling himself these things, or even Fred's voice coming through to narrate his twin's pain.

I like the cycle of grieving that George goes through here, with grief, denial, anger, acceptance. The ending was lovely and fit well with the rest of the piece, and how George decided that Fred would want him to stay strong and live a full life. I'm glad he learned to open up to his family: the contrast between thinking they didn't care anymore and realizing that they do care and they're there to support him and remember Fred was very heartwarming.

A little thought I had was to mix up the long, winding sentences with some short and poignant ones. The long sentences really enhance the theme of time passing and marching and dragging on, but by putting some shorter sentences in there certain important points could really be driven home, especially at the end of paragraphs or to signal changes in George's thoughts.

I noticed a couple sentences which read a little awkwardly, like "Itís your birthday today; you made an age your twin did not." 'Made an age' could maybe be adjusted to something like "survived to an age" or even "earned an age your twin will never see." Or something, just a thought. :) This sentence: " your only sister watching her family fall apart to deaths, werewolf bites and depression and yet she is the strongest" seemed a little off too, maybe you could say something like "her family fall apart in the wake of death, werewolf bites and depression, and yet she is stronger than all of you." Or something along those line just to make the sentence a little clearer. :) Again, feel free to ignore me here!

The repetition of "time marches on" and similar sentences was great, and I liked how the "tick-tocks" became less and less as the story progressed. Another important aspect were the little details, like the quill Fred used, and Molly crying herself to sleep, and the family clock. They helped situate the story as belonging to the Weasleys are were very important.

I enjoyed this powerful little story and hope this review was what you were looking for! :) Nice job!

Author's Response: Hey thanks for reviewing!

The banner is amazing I'm so happy with it...as is this review. ;)

Anyway, poor attempts at humour aside this was a great review, I've read it a couple of time as I didn't know how to respond, and still don't to be honest.

It was cool how you noticed the "tick-tocks" getting less and less. I love little details in stories, so I'm pleased to hear that you think I included them well.

Thanks for your advice on how you feel I could improve it!

:)



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Review #20, by academica ...tick...tock...

26th October 2013:
Hi there, here with your requested review :)

I think this was very well done. You really seemed to put the reader in George's shoes and helped us see the post-war world from his perspective. I didn't necessarily feel like it was easy for me to relate to him, but I did feel like you really personalized his experience instead of just writing a story about the war that could have been told from the point of view of a number of different characters. For instance, I liked how you talked about the missing half in his life with the shop and the way his mother looks at him with sadness.

I also really liked the theme of time here, not only literally with his watch but also the passing of years and the sense that George is missing out on the rest of his life because he's so overcome with grief. The end was nice because it was like George recognized that Fred came back to him in the happy moments and wouldn't want him to just pine the rest of his years away. George is clearly still healing, but it was good to see him taking the first steps here with his family's support.

I did notice a few punctuation errors and misspelled words in this one-shot. Since you've had it betaed already, I'd recommend maybe looking into some of the grammar tutorials on the forums (in Writer's Resources) just to polish up those last little details and make this shine.

Good work! Hope this review is helpful!

-Amanda

Author's Response: hey thanks for taking the time to review!

I'll have a look at the grammar tutorials while trying to not get overwhelmed!

:)


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Review #21, by AlexFan ...tick...tock...

25th October 2013:
Holy, wow.

I was definitely pulled in as soon as I started reading. Everything that you wrote in the first few paragraphs I could relate to and understand. You're right about time of course, a split second can change your life forever and alter your future. All it takes is just one second for things to take a 180.

I like how you eased into bringing in Fred and George's grief so smoothly. One second you were talking about time in general and I found myself reading in awe at how accurate your description was because I'd felt the same that you'd described time (which sounds weird) and then I was looking at George's grief.

If I hadn't been paying attention, I swear I wouldn't have noticed when that happened.

I could see in my head as I was reading time passing by and George thinking all of these things as he saw them happen and being ashamed of himself for healing and slowly moving on from the grief.

I think that was really understandable because I can see how you would feel guilty about not grieving over someone that was really important to you. It feels like you've forgotten them and are moving on with your life.

The entire time that I was reading I felt like George's grief was my grief and his realization that it was okay for him to move on and not to grieve forever was my realization.

Unlike George, I'll never get over Fred's death but anyway, I think this was a really great one-shot and you did a great job on it!
-Grace

Author's Response: hey!

What an amazing review, I was so happy reading this!

I am so pleased that you got involved with the one-shot!

The time element is what I initially started with so for that to work is amazing!

He shouldn't have died :'(

thanks a lot for your kind words! :D


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Review #22, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing ...tick...tock...

23rd October 2013:
Heya :)

It's laurenzo7321 from the forums! I have a different pen name too!

Wow. This was a hard read. Anything Fred and George related just gets me all teary eyed and this was no exception. You beautifully pieced together how George must have been feeling after his twins death.

I loved your use of second person here. It allows us as a reader to feel George's detachment to life after using Fred. Very affective.

The concept of time you used too, especially the repeating tick tock, was brilliant.

There were some heart wrenching moments in this! In particular the bit where George ages a year without Fred. Gah that must have been so difficult.

One thing I'm glad you did do was to give George a sense of piece at the end. To come to terms with Fred's death and start accepting it and living his life again.

This was a great one shot - I really enjoyed reading it!!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hi Lauren!

You don't understand how happy I was when I saw this review :D

I'm so happy you liked it and thanks for the lovely review!

Cannons!


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Review #23, by milominderbinder ...tick...tock...

22nd October 2013:
W O W.

This was INCREDIBLE. A really powerful and poignant look at George's reaction to Fred's death, and very unique - I've not really read anything similar to this before, well done so much!

I loved the repetition of the ...tick...tock... because it really drew all the parts of the story together and made it feel cohesive, as well as adding an almost poetic element, which is only helped by the fact that your writing here was gorgeous and almost lyrical in places.

Ah, this is still making me so sad! Every time someone mentions George in relation to Fred's death it breaks my heart enough as it is, but this story really summed up every reason why it's so tragic, and that's what made it so powerful I think.

Seriously, I loved this. I can't wait to see your entry to the death eater challenge - I think you'll definitely give me some competition! ;)

~Maia

Author's Response: HI!! *waves*

eeek! aha I've sat on this for a while so I can find a good way to respond but don't know how!!

what a lovely review, I cant stop smiling :) :) I'm so happy you liked it and that you thought it was unique.

I'm going through a serious re-write now of the death eater challenge in the hope that my attempt isn't as embarrassing as it is now! ;)

thanks so much!


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Review #24, by maraudertimes ...tick...tock...

20th October 2013:
No. No no no no no! NO!

You made me cry you wondrous, beautiful person you. Because this is so beautiful and magical and I can't stop crying!!!

Darn you!

*flail on bed, crying eyes out*

Okay, that's an exaggeration. But I did cry!

This is really good! Amazingly good! I really liked it!

No CCs whatsoever.

Just pain. Lots and lots of pain, but dark, terrible and beautiful pain. Because it was beautiful. I'm rambling now, aren't I?

I'm sorry for not reviewing this properly, but ALL THE FEELS WERE FELT!!!

I don't know what else to say. I loved it. It's going to be favourited. I'm going to stop now, okay?

Great job though! If you haven't realized, I loved it!

Lo :') - that's me crying but being happy about it because the story is so amazing!

Author's Response: OH MY GOSH LO! I've just spent an hour trying to respond to one of the nicest reviews I have ever got and then I get this!

I'm so so so so happy that it made you cry (hugs!) because it means that you felt it!

I laughed when you said *flail on bed, crying eyes out* because I can imagine myself doing that ( or maybe I remember that..hmm ;) )

I can't respond in anyway that will do your review justice, so i'm sorry for that.

I'm really happy you liked it and I'm sorry for making you cry. *hands box of tissues through computer screen*

You're going to favourite it? WOHO! *cue random dancing*

AMAZING REVIEW THANKS SO MUCH! :D



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Review #25, by patronus_charm ...tick...tock...

20th October 2013:
Even if I betaíd this story, Iím still so glad that you requested a review as it means I get to gush away to my heartís content about how much I love it :D

The use of second person in this story is what really pulled it off in my opinion. It just created this impersonal narration which symbolised Georgeís detachment from the world and then at the same time it was still so close and we could relate to his emotions really well. You complimented this really well the lack of mentions towards his family at the beginning and then increasing them at the end showing his recovery as he could now deal with the world and that idea was really great.

The recurring theme with the clock ticking and him marching from left to right was really great. Again, it tied in with the theme of it all being impersonal and how he could only relate to the world in a mechanical way and not a way which meant it was tied down with emotion. Gah, it was just fantastic frankly. ♥

Though the description was sparser than what I am usually used to, it was all used for effect and each line of it conveying so much. It was almost better in a way that you limited yourself to it to create that effect instead of being flowery with it and causing the reader to skip through it.

The thoughts about Fred were truly heart-breaking and his grief was just so real and raw that it brought me to close to tears at times. I think it was when George was talking about what they could have been doing with Fred is when it really got to me as it just made me wish he leaved and caused me to curse God a.k.a JK Rowling for doing that to him.

Gah and this line ĎItís your birthday today; you made an age your twin did not.í That really brought me close to crying, but more due to the hope that he could move and the closing one was just beautiful.

This one-shot was just amazing and really got to my heart. It was a pleasure to beta and now to review this!

-Kiana

Author's Response: hey Kiana!

OMG, I'm so sorry! ok, I have to be totally honest for the minute that it took me to request this review I didn't even think about that! I'm so, so sorry, this actually happened the other day as well but I was like 'No, she did a lovely beta for me, I can't ask her to review it as well!'... how embarrassing... :o!...

On the other hand though it was a happy accident since I totally love 'gush' haha.

I can't tell you how much this review means to me !!

As I was reading through this my smile was getting bigger and bigger! It was lovely and totally made my day.

When I was writing this there were certain points I hoped everyone would appreciate and you practically picked out every single one of them,like the marching, so I'm so pleased that you mentioned that.

I'm so happy that it nearly brought you to tears ( In the nicest way possible of course!) because that means I did something right!

The closing line was my favourite, if I may say so!

THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE BETA AND THIS AMAZING, FANTASTIC REVIEW! you officially have me smiling like an idiot. Whenever I need inspiring I'll come and read this! :D :D


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