Reading Reviews for Affair.
  
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Review #1, by Iellwen Affair

11th December 2013:
Hermione has sex with her lover then immediately goes back home without taking a shower (or wearing panties/thong), greets AND hugs her kid but smiles and longs for his touch and has a first-time-we-got-busy-flashback... Almost over the line there, aren't ya? ^^

Pointed face... Do you mean pointy?


It's a really cool idea but kind of lacks the passion Hermione feels for Draco. I don't know what you're going for exactly but I kinda felt like painting a big red "A" on that scarlet.

I mean, she has a nine year old kid (mentioning it is basically saying it) and is apparently happily married (since she doesn't want to compare the two and defends him when Draco says her husband is basically too dumb to know how smart she is) so she's just a horny gal cheating on her man and shredding a family apart (but Malfoy's attracted to smart women?).

I'm not saying you should advertise infidelity (Hells no!) but the read's a bit stale (though still enjoyable) if you don't pick a side (fiery passionate forbidden romance or the bleak atrocity that is infidelity?).


I don't mean to tear you a knew one; I enjoyed reading the one-shot and this is meant as nosy but friendly constructive criticism :)

But hey, pretty long review for this story's first, huh? ^^

Author's Response: i really appreciate the constructive criticism actually! i've really started to work on my writing more and more & this helps out a lot with how i should better structure the story. Thank you for reading!

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