Reading Reviews for Blurring Whites
  
18 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ReeBee One

29th January 2014:
Nadia! Here to review after Rose posted that eye-opening message on the forums! I can't believe i haven't read your stuff before! I must read more!

Anyway, NADIA! How can you live with yourself after making me cry at 6:30 in the morning! So here I am an hour later, after many rereads and breaks to make sure my computer doesn't die with all the salty water! I still have tears in my eyes!

Oh god, so so sad! Especially with James, one of my favourite characters! To say my heart broke would be an understatement. Oh, I warn you, I'm no good with critical reviews so this is probably just going to be gushing! But seriously, no! James! *wipes tears*

It was so beautiful! The first part! Amazing! Eugh. I'm at a loss for words. Just eugh. Lily, poor Lily. I don't feel very angry at her, just so sad that she had to experience that. And at the end, where James says that he hates her and loves her at the same time. I could imagine that perfectly! Great job!

Net seemed like an amazing character! She was so sweet! And very human (even though she's not...?) I would love to see more of here. Are you planning on writing anything (prequel, sequel) with Net? Or just one that follows along the lines of this story?

I cant get enough of this. Even though my eyes now hurt from wiping away the tears so much! Eugh, grammar in that last sentence.

Anyway, this was amazing. I loved it.

-Curie :)

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Review #2, by maraudertimes One

7th January 2014:
Hi!
Technically I'm here for the 12 Days of Reviewing, although since I'm also not technically participating, I just wanted to give the reviewers some love, I'm here for the banner! I thought it looked really cool!

Okay, so the story was heart-wrenching. To think that Lily was bullied to that point is horrible. And of course James would feel horrible; I myself would feel horrible if that happened to my sister and I would have felt like I could have prevented it, much like James.

The fact that Lily wanted to come back to life was really sad, but seemed very truthful. One of my father's favourite sayings is: "The last thought survivors of jumping off bridges recall is 'Oh no, I shouldn't have done that.'" So to see Lily in another 'world' wishing to be back with her brother was heart breaking.

Laura (hey that's me!) seemed a little harsh to me though, to look at James in disgust. I couldn't get over how she was surprised to be envied for having a sister, although I suppose that would be expected from a boy like James and what his sister did.

I especially liked the end where Laura called her sister, because I feel like everyone should have that moment, where you realize the people in your life could either be worse or gone, so I'm glad. It was pretty good character development for a one-shot! Well... pretty good. It was darn amazing! I can't believe you pulled it off, but you did and I can't believe you did it so seamlessly. I hope to see many more writers with your talents, although I suppose it's a rare gift.

I do wonder why Lily only had to see James, and why Net didn't bring her to see Albus or her parents, because I think that would have been a really cool extension of this. But it does solidify how much of a good relationship James and Lily had.

Basically, I'm super glad I read this. It's beautiful and sad and I quite love it. Great job and keep writing because it's amazing. You said on my story that I could write OF, but darling, if you hadn't mentioned 'Potter,' 'Healer,' or any other words that pertained to the wizarding world, and instead used words from the muggle world, this would have been amazing as an OF.

Amazing job!
Lo :)

Author's Response: 21 DAYS LATE NOT TOO BAD I HOPE?? THROW YOUR TOMATOES THROW YOUR TOMATOES, I KNOW, I SUCK AT RESPONDING, I USED TO BE SO GOOD THEN I GOT LAZY I AM SORRY!!!

Ahem. Well hello there!

J'aime la banner aussi. (idk what banner is in french so blah)

EW, bullies :'( So sad. So I reread the one shot, something I don't usually do because I find things I don't like every read, and yeah. It was horrible.

Yes, that is what I wanted to get across. That death is irreversible. You can't come back. I'm glad you picked up on that :)

Haha, LAURAS UNITE AS ONE NOT REALLY BECAUSE THIS LAURA SUCKS AND YOU LAURA ARE AWESOME AND REVIEWTATSIC. But I understand, she is despicable.

Character development=lol because I am the worst writer ever and I don't give my character's enough depth, it's basically ANGST DIALOGUE ANGST DIALOGUE the whole story :P Meh, Life. But you liked it which is surprising, but thanks so much! It means a lot ♥

One of the main reasons is because I cannot stand Harry and Ginny as a pairing, and Ginny as a character in general because Bonnie Wright UGH UGH UGH so yes. But I felt like it had to be James for some reason. We see him in fics too much as a playoby, and it'd be interesting to see a crying soft version of him. meh.

HAHAHA, OF, OKAY NICE ONE LO. But hgjfsghsjgv wow thank you. I lvoe you so much and JUST HUGS ALL AROUND ♥

THANK YOU!!!
Nadia ♥


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Review #3, by shez One

7th January 2014:
O_O

This was so brilliant and dark and heartbreaking. I adore brother-sister fics and James' venting was believable and tore my heart in two...I need to go watch funny youtube videos now. I can't even tell how long it's been since a piece has emotionally moved me. AND I WAS LISTENING TO SAD MUSIC TOO.

This is just too awesome for words. Thanks.

Author's Response: Hi!

I'm super excited you liked this! James venting was tough to write, because I felt so cruel doing it to him. Funny youtube videos sound great to me! Jimmy Kimmel has some stuff that's hilarious ;)

AGH, NOW I FEEL BAD. SAD MUSIC IS LIKE DOUBLE KILL.

No, no , no, no - thank YOU! You are making me blush with your words! Thanks so much for leaving such a wonderful review, and taking the time to leave it :)

- Nadia ♥


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Review #4, by Secret Santa! One

5th January 2014:
Hello!

I figured I had time to leave you one last gift so here I am with another review :)

I thought your other Lily piece was really beautiful so it made sense to come and check out the follow up of sorts.

So again, I have to say... wow.

From the very first section I didn't like Laura. She seemed to be very up herself and so glad that she had a Potter coming to her. I don't know if that's the impression you were trying to give us but yeah. I didn't like her.

And so then I realise that this isn't a follow up to your other story... It's just in both stories Lily made the tough decision to take her own life. I like that this focuses on the aftermath of this choice though and the consequences it may have.

Your description of the place she ends up... heaven? Limbo? I don't know... but anyway... it was brilliant and really well written! The floor, if it was that, with the mist and the fact everything just is. It was a really good touch to have the water and clothes appear for her, just like they did for Harry when he goes to the Limbo place in the seventh book.

So Net. Who is she? She really intrigued me... She seemed to be like Albus was to Harry yet not at the same time. I liked to think of her as bit of an angel though so I did!

You wrote the whole scene with switching POV's so well. It helped that Lily/Net's part was in italics, but even if it hadn't I feel that I wouldn't have got lost. It was so hard to see James get all his emotion out here but gosh, it was so raw and completely believable. You did such an amazing job. And then we have Lily... poor Lily who only just understands what her actions do to the rest of the family... gosh. I'm soo teary reading this. Nadia you did such a good job with it!

Also - the last bit. The perfect ending! Finally Laura realises what an idiot she is and rings her sister. I liked the line about her feeling strange because James was jealous of her for having a sister. Very nicely done and it finished your story off perfectly.

Great job Nadia, I'm so happy you were my santee, I've loved reading all of your work!

Love from,
Secret Santa
xxx

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Review #5, by greenbirds One

1st January 2014:
so it's my new years resolution to review everything i read, but in truth i didn't finish this because i was crying too much. i detest stories with a sad ending just because i'm too weak to be able to accept that it's not reality, because for so many people it IS reality, you know?
gosh, i have mascara and tears blurring my vision. excuse me.
you write so well, maybe i'll finish it after i calm down. it was the "she never said good bye!" that killed me! i love james and i love the way his and lily's relationship is portrayed in nextgen. i don't know, man, this really got me choked up.
was she to become a ghost? i've always thought that being a ghost is the worst thing, because there's no end to it. hm.
incredible piece and i'll come back to finish this!

Author's Response: Hi Bea! And.. yeah, this seriously has taken me 15 days to come respond to. *is embarrassed* I'm actually so good with review responding, but these days I'm such a lazy monkey..

But first of all, I applaud your resolution. I know how hard it is, and I wish you good luck, because I could NEVER do it, haha!

Yeah, I do know. It is reality for a lot of people. Er - it's... tough to believe and I think it's rather embarrassing that due to reasons like.. body image *shiver* people decide to take their life. Blegh.

Aw, please don't cry :'( It's not that sad, I hope. But I'm glad it managed to affect you in some way, it makes me feel like I've done my job to some extent.

No.. she was to stay asleep, I think. (i forget, i need to reread haha) I can't remember what I said in the piece.. I think either she goes to sleep, instead of joining the village of the dead, or she stays with Net forever. Regardless, she doesn't get to live on -- which I'm terribly sorry to tell you :P

Blegh, this response came out stupid. I'm sorry. (exams suck) and thank you for an incredible review. I'm sorry it was such a tough read, but I'm glad you enjoyed it in a whysocrueeel way! Here, have some hearts for your feels: ♥ ♥


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Review #6, by monstrosity One

25th December 2013:
Merry Christmas! You've been so nice, giving out reviews down in the forums and I'd promised to return the favour :)

This piece made my heart shatter. Truly. The emotions, the description and plot are all so heart wrenching that it is nearly impossible not to tear up.

The first thing that I found interesting was, incidentally in the first chapter. I like how close minded Laura's parents were. It was so relatable because I know a lot of people whose parents want them to become something they feel is important. The whole science is better than humanities mentality is something really common in our world in it's interesting to see that the Wizarding World also goes through the same sort of situation.

I was also intrigued by the was that every character seemed both good and bad. Laura was an independent woman with a mind of her own, but she was also a tad bit money minded. Probably having to rely solely on whatever she earned after cutting off ties with her family led to that. James is a bit of a reminiscer although he means no harm. It's just that he's to busy dwelling in the what ifs rather than actually doing them. Then again, trauma from losing a close family member tends to do that to you. Lily, although she loves her family very dearly doesn't really think how her actions could affect them, until it's too late. Then again, she went through years of bullying. Even Net (whose full name I still wasn't able to figure out) is a grey character. I don't know whether to admire her perception and enigmatic character or to loath the callous way she treats those whom she transports. Clearly all your characters are extremely complex making the story really fun to read.

The ending was rather bittersweet. While one relationship is breaking down to pieces, the other might be saved. Sometimes seeing other people's problems helps us to fix our own.
I like how Death isn't really the end in this story. It goes perfectly with JK's rules, death being another adventure. Although in this case, not necessarily a nice one. The main reason behind suicide is to be free from all your problems, but Lily doesn't seem to be getting that satisfaction. Alas, regret is not enough to bring someone back from the dead.

Overall it was an amazing story to read! Happy holidays and I can't wait to read more of your work :)

Author's Response: This is late I am so sorry, like here have some hearts okay, EXTREMELY SORRY!!!♥ ♥

Ahh yes, that bit. I think parents always want the best for their kids (omg, i sound so old, i'm not though lol my mum would be proud??) but sometimes it's come out wrong, especially with this whole, "Be a doctor" crap. I tried to integrate that into this piece, so I'm happy that stood out for you :)

Wow, it's such a treat to hear you say that they were complex! I never thought of them complex lol. More like annoying and depressed and bratty, y'know :P As far as Net's full mae is concerned.. Well, I intended her to be like... (are you going to have a fangirl moment lol?) LIKE NEPHTHYS! :D I know it didn't work out, but I tried :P It was my own way of being all clever and MWUAHAHA EGYPTIAN GODS YUS.

Wow, I really like how you put it that way. I am so honoured you thought it went with JKR's mindet and rules, I don't think there's a higher compliment.

Thank you so much for the kind review! I am so flattered :) Sorry again for the horrible reply! ♥


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Review #7, by TheGirlWithTheLaughingFace One

23rd November 2013:
Why why why why? I hate and love you at the same time for making me feel what I felt as I read this story. You are one great writer to put such emotions into a story that when you read it you can actually feel them inside you.

I can feel James' frustrations and loss through your words

I can feel Lily's despair and regret

I can feel Laura's sympathy

I can feel it all through what you wrote and you have no idea how much it touched me.

The topic of the story is so sensitive that it has to be written in such a way not to offend and you wrote it to where no one will have a dry eye when they finish

ugh this rambling probably makes no sense but just know this story really hits a place deep in my heart and I thank you for sharing it.

-Crystal

Author's Response: Hi Crystal :D

Ah, I felt that way with a story I read a couple of days ago. And I'll repeat what the author said to me in his response: The chapters that are the toughest to read, are usually the best. I like making feel, whether it's happy or sad. I feel very accomplished knowing that I've managed to do it.

No, Crystal. I will forever cherish this ramble :) Thank you so much for your kind words, and just *hugs*
Thanks!

Nadia ♥


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Review #8, by patronus_charm One

19th November 2013:
Gah, I havenít had this many feels since finishing The Fault in Our Stars! There I was thinking ooh Iíve never read anything by Nadia before and this looks interesting, but Merlin, the feels. ♥ I donít even know what I can say in this review which will reflect how I really thoughts and felt at the exact moment so Iím really regretting not doing a rolling review right now, but Iíll give it my best shot!

I think the split perspectives is what made this one-shot work. It showed how something may appear to be understandable in one personís head it may be complete confusion in another. Then the way people react to different situations was shown really effectively here, and for such a sensitive issue such as suicide it worked really well.

When Lily was describing why she drank the poison I thought I was going to cry. Unfortunately, a few people I know suffer from these issues so I know first-hand how awful teasing like this can be and how much the way you reflect yourself can mean for your mental stability, and I think you handled that issue so maturely and so sensitively it really should applauded. It wasnít a simple issue and you just brought that to the table in so few lines and that was really excellent.

James and Lilyís thoughts about one another is what really got to me. I could just see that their bond was so, so strong and then to see how it to be torn apart by some stupid people is really horrible. That raw emotion of them missing each other was so poignant and gut wrenching and I just canít explain it any other way other that it being written beautifully. ♥

James was so hollow, like everything had left him apart from the shell of his body and that was really powerful. Everything about him fitted appropriately and even if there wasnít much description, it wasnít necessary. With words and feelings as powerful as his it would almost detract from the meaning of them to include it.

You really carried some important themes of love for your family and how you should never leave it on a bitter note because anything could happen and that was developed brilliantly by Laura. I really loved her and her story and the transformation and profound effect James had upon her was really moving. It sort of proved her parents wrong because Iím sure the people she treats change her a lot more than her parents patients.

Such a moving one-shot Nadia! ♡

-Kiana

Author's Response: Kiana! I've been terrible with responding to reviews lately, but you just left me another one so it seems unfair to respond to that one before this immensely kind one!

AH! But.. like... TFIOS is **so** good!!! *is in awe* If this managed to give you feels.. whoa. I really don't think there can be a bigger compliment than that. And ahh, you actually have read something by me before, lol! You probably don't remember that it **was** me... but you have. You read Her Only Choice back in July, and your review was so kind, just like this one.

I'm thrilled you enjoyed the split perspectives. That was something new and challenging, and really was great to try out. I wasn't too sure about it, but hey - if you like it, then my work here is done!

Oh goodness, really? I'd feel awful if you would cry! :( Bloody high school - I see this happening all the time. I was in a dilemma, unsure of whether this reason was good enough, especially for the wizarding world. Again, I'm so pleased it worked for you. If it did, that's all I can ask for.

Wow. You capture their relationship so well, and gah, you're too nice! *squishes*

Really?! Wow. That's awesome to know. I was worried that I was getting to wordy rather than actual description but to hear that it played out so well with you is fabulous.

I'm really glad you liked the ending. I liked it too :)

Thank you so much for stopping by Kiana and leaving such a warm and thoughtful review!

~ Nadia ♥


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Review #9, by nott theodore One

15th November 2013:
*sneaks in like a sneaky sneaking person*

So, we're not going to mention the fact that I've been horribly neglectful and taken far too long to read and review this, okay? Okay. Good. On with the review!

Nadia, this was just so poignant and moving. Seriously, I can't really tell you how absorbed and immersed I found myself reading this story - my eyes didn't leave the screen for a second. You're so good at writing these emotional, angst-ridden pieces and have a wonderful ability to reach out to your reader and make the feel, even in a one-shot with characters we barely know.

I loved your characterisation in this story. Lily - you managed to get across her torn feelings so perfectly. I could empathise with her, but at the same time I was able to see her more objectively. I loved the way that you used the figure of Net to sort of show this objective view to Lily. I've never seen that done before in a story, someone guiding someone across the gap between life and death - at least, not a previously unknown character. I thought she was a really cool and original addition, and her ambiguity was great, the way that you couldn't really tell whether or not she was on the good or bad side.

The way you handled Lily's suicide was done with incredible sensitivity, I could tell that you really put thought behind it to measure your portrayal. I think that you managed to capture Lily's feelings before she died brilliantly; she wanted to end the pain, but wrapped up in the selfish mentality of her illness she couldn't see that her actions would cause other people pain.

And James ♥. His pain seemed to radiate off the page, and I loved the way that you portrayed his conflicting emotions, the way that he both loved and hated Lily for what she'd done, the guilt and sorrow. You managed to convey those complex layers really well, and even though it wasn't exactly enjoyable to read about him suffering like that, it was really compelling and poignant.

I actually think your OC, Laura was my favourite of all your characters here. In a one-shot, you've managed to present us with a new character and still leave me feeling as though I know her as well as the others at the end of the story. Your character development was great in this piece, and the depth you added to her character - especially the details about her family - really helped me to warm to her. (I may also be shipping James/Laura a little bit now but we won't mention that either.)

The way that you ended the story was fantastic. It just felt so natural, coming to a circular end, and it made me smile a bit that even though James and Lily and everyone was suffering from her death, some good still came from it, because it meant that Laura contacted her sister again and hopefully Lily's death, in a way, helped to rebuild the bridge between the two sisters.

This was so lovely to read, Nadia, and I'm sorry for taking so long to get here! ♥

Sian :)

Author's Response: Only 8 days after! Phew... If it got to ten days I would be the one sneaking in... Also, no need to sneak in! You can take your time, you don't even have to read Sian!

Anyway, hello m'dear!

NYAH, YOU'RE SO NICE TO ME OH MY GOD. *flails arms* I am so happy I made you feel, that's a lot, especially coming from you.

Ew, Lily. She bothers me, and so does Laura. No depth at all, in my opinion. They were both very two dimensional, and I have no clue why people think I characterized them so well, because I didn't :P I did love Net though, and she was never a character I planned to be in this. I'm glad she was, though.

Like you, I find writing angst so easy. My emotions tend to flow while I write it, I feel so **alive**.

I actually liked writing James. The way he feels about her death, is how I feel all the time. So fed up and ew from school. I obviously can't voice my pain like he can, so I write it down. It was a lot of fun, and I become rather attached to him by the end of this.

But.. but.. she's.. annoying! I don't like her, lol. Laura was just there. She wasn't very significant up in my head, but I understand why you'd like her. I guess she shows the better side of all the snobs out there. (and yes, I was hoping someone would, but James is like, so out of her league. and a sweetheart ♥ )

I like how you worded that - I never thought of it that way. A circle coming to a close - I like that!

No need to be sorry, Sian! ♥


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Review #10, by LunaLovebad One

11th November 2013:
This piece is so well written, so beautiful and so heartbreaking.

Using split perspectives the way you did really added something to story and got the message of the piece across. I've lost loved ones to suicide before and I guess I've always been mad at them like James was in this story, but in including Laura's perspective, you kind of made me appreciate the relatives I have who have stuck around in spite of their struggles. So this story really moved me and meant a lot to me. Thanks for writing it and sharing it.

Author's Response: Whoa, that penname is so cool!

Anyways, hello! *waves*

I'm really sorry that you've been through what James has been. I only hope and pray that it doesn't happen to anyone.

I'm beaming at your words, and just thank you. I wasn't sure about the split perspectives, but you've really made me feel more confident. You are too kind.

No , no, thank YOU. Thank you for reading and telling me how you felt about it. I am so honoured to know that this managed to do something to you and was relatable.

Hugs,
~Nadia


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Review #11, by teh tarik One

11th November 2013:
Aww, Nadia, this is such a terribly heartbreaking story! :(

It's also so, so well-written; this was so good in giving me a good wallop in the feels. I think you dealt with the darker themes of the story very well, but I especially loved the significance of family in this story, and how little many of the characters relate to their other family members until it's much too late, in Lily's case.

I really liked your OC, Laura. Despite this being a oneshot in which she has to share the spotlight with other characters like Lily and James, she's still very well-developed; I love the snatches of background you provided: her falling-out with her parents and her sister, that cruel thought that comes to her mind about how she could exploit the situation with James to maximise her profit, her basic sense of decency, her inherent kindness and understanding, and of course, that final scene, where she decides to make amends with her family. You've managed to pack so much into her characterisation, which is remarkable for such a short fic. And of course, I love your other OC, Net, as well. I love that introductory description of her, and how the white mist of that strange place accentuates her features. It's so mysterious and so unique! :)

I really felt for poor James. Clearly, he's suffered a great deal, and unlike Lily, who goes on and will have a long dreamless sleep, which sounds really blissful by the way, James will continue to live, and he will live in hurt and pain, dealing with sister's tragedy. Sigh. Sometimes living can really, really hurt, and you conveyed this so powerfully and so intensely through James' outbursts and brokenness.

I think the split perspectives worked extraordinarily well! It was a really clever technique to use, especially to convey a scene where two parties are present but unable to communicate with one another. I think the italics delineated the different character perspectives very well.

Anyway, this was such a sad piece, Nadia. I really enjoyed this; your characters were so incredibly well-developed and they felt like real people to me. You're such a talented writer! ♥

-teh

Author's Response: Must stop being lazy and answer reviews, must stop being lazy and answer reviews...

HIYA!

It is kinda depressing, isn't it?

Naww, I don't think it's **that** nicely written.. Have you scene the pretties you've written? But thank you, nonetheless.

I think family is one of the big components in this. Harry, being the father, was supposed to make an appearance but I just couldn't fit him in, and he is a bit scary, so... yeah.

Wow, you like Laura? LOL. I don't like her too much. She's too two-dimensional,in my opinion. I plan to give her more depth when I go back and write her. I'm so pleased and flattered at your kind thoughts about her teh!

Yeah, living really can suck. That's one thing I've managed to figure out during my time on earth. I found it ironic how two people, in different states of life (one's alive, one's not) are **both** in pain. There is no easy way out.

Ah, teh, your words are so kind. I'm only a little deserving of them. Thank you for taking your time to leave a review, because it's really wonderful and made my day/week/November. You are way too kind.

KEEP ON WRITING!
Nadia :)


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Review #12, by prettywishes One

10th November 2013:
wow. This was probably the most intense one shot that I've read in a long time. I think that putting Lily and James in the same room, but unable to talk to each other, was a really smart move. It was absolutely heartbreaking to read, and it literally had me in tears! Amazing job with this, really makes you think.

Author's Response: Hey prettywishes! Loving the username :)

Aww, I hate having to make people cry. But knowing that I managed to stir up those emotions in you tells me that I've done my job.

Thank you so much for taking the time to leave such a sweet review, it's really made my day. You are much too kind.

Thanks my dear!
Nadia


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Review #13, by CambAngst One

7th November 2013:
Tagging you from the Review the Person Above You thread in the common room.

Wow. It's hard to know exactly what to say after reading something like that. The intensity and the amount of emotion you managed to fit into it was absolutely mind-blowing. The story was incredibly sad, but there were so many other strong emotions laced through it. Reading it was tough in places, just as I'm sure it was tough to write. My hat is off to you for holding it together long enough to get all of this into words.

I really didn't like Laura Gates at first. She seemed like a self-important, celebrity-chasing social climber who was far too pleased to have bagged a Potter as a new client. It felt almost like she was reveling in that fact, irrespective of whatever issues might have caused her new client to require her services. You set her up really well for what was coming, I thought. It made for a nice, sharp contrast to the way she was at the end of the story.

Lily's afterlife experience really struck the right chord with me. Net wasn't completely unsympathetic, but she was firm and wholly reasonable. She was tough with Lily in a way, which I thought was entirely appropriate because Lily's own choice put her in the position she was in. She was also comforting, at least as much as she was able to be. You struck a good balance with her. It was also interesting to see that Net had a slight streak of vanity. That and Ginny's muggle washing machine were clever little touches.

Gah, James's therapy sessions. That part was really, really tough. I thought you did a fantastic job with him. First off, you paced it really well. He has so much pent-up anger and grief. Lily didn't just die yesterday, so obviously he's been holding it all in for a while. It wouldn't have seemed at all realistic for James to plop down on the couch and start spilling his soul instantly, and you didn't do that. You let him take his time opening up. And oh, how he opened up. I think anger is a really under-appreciated aspect of grieving. You gave him such a realistic blend of anger and hurt and grief and guilt... it was absolutely gut-wrenching.

You did an impressive job blending Laura's and Lily perspectives into a single scene. That must have been very tricky to do, and you pulled it off in such a way that I never got lost trying to figure out who was talking or thinking at any moment.

It was kind of nice to see Laura feel a sudden desire to reconnect with her own sister. This probably sounds weird, but it reminded me a bit of Ebenezer Scrooge in A Christmas Carol.

I didn't see any typos or grammatical problems or anything else wrong with your writing. The whole thing flowed really nicely and while it wasn't really fun to read, it was easy to get immersed in and I think that added a lot to the emotional wallop the story packed. Great job!

Author's Response: Hi, again!

There's this happiness in me, because I know that you take the time to make someone's day, everyday. That's commitment, but also just so amazing.

Wow, thank you. I agree - it was tough to write all the emotions. I find on a day-to-day basis that putting the way I feel in words is so tough. You can never find the right words. Is it "sad"? Or is it, "depressing"? Words were deleted, typed up, deleted, and typed again over and over - especially at the end - because it didn't sound **right**. I'm glad it has now, though.

Laura was my first real try at an original character. I didn't plan for her to be a character that would do the things she did. I tried giving her depth, and it would not work. I tried, and tried. And so I ended up giving her the personality of the type of people I've known my whole life. No one in specific, but just the very self-centered people I see everyday. I think Laura would have definitely been one of those girls at school who would be popular and have the best clothes.

Oh, I'm so happy you thought that. I felt like perhaps I was borrowing a bit too much from Harry's King Cross scene, but I tried adding my own twist to it. Net's been one of the most oddest characters I've had to write - rereading this oneshot, I've found that she herself is a very self-contradicting character. In reality, I suppose, she's just tired of having to see people so torn up all the time.

James. Now **that** was painful to write. I felt really, really bad, because there were so many perspectives going on, and I thought that maybe I wasn't focusing on James enough. So I wanted James, to be in that realistic sort of pain. I got a bit carried away with the emotions. Like I said, in my AN, that all I'd hoped for when I first began writing this was to get some energy, all that build up out. I never knew it would turn into something like this. That it would be so intense to write.

I'm pumped you liked the split perspectives, that's a very high praise. So thank you.

Would you kill me if I told you I am perhaps the only person who has not watched A Christmas Carol? :P Perhaps I should... Xmas is coming.. might as well! So, I'll get back to you on that one ;)

Really? Wow. That's a first because I'm a very lazy editor. I understand that, this definitely wasn't "fun" to write either, but just fit into a whole other category.

Thank you so much for this mind-blowingly kind review. You are seriously way too kind.



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Review #14, by toomanycurls One

26th October 2013:
O.o

o.O

O.O

This is just so deep and emotional and I need to go cuddle my cats now.

What I thought made this quite beautiful was the complex narrative voice you have going on. You've whirled me in emotions but never reveal all the answers going through my head (e.g. why did she do it, how are her parents, etc.). You've made it clear she was miserable and had a clear message that the same misery followed her into death. Oh man, and listening to James trying to cope with her death was just so sad.

All of the perspectives you show in this really give this story depth (and sadness). It was fascinating to compare Laura's excitement at seeing a Potter with Net's boredom and toting people through their final viewing of their living family.

I think James opens up in a realistic way. I mean, it's obvious why he's there. If he were visiting a therapist for some non-event driven emotional issue (e.g. something that took years to develop) then it would take longer to pull out of him. But, it was a bit easy/obvious to see what his main issue was. My experience with grief counselling is that the big issues come out rather fast and easy (usually the fact that they're dead) but nuanced grief related items (e.g. we had a fight before they died, or i never apologized for xyz) take much longer to dig into.

I really love that Lily regrets her choice and wants to go back in the end. The cruel reality that she can't go back and her decision was final sends a very clear and strong message.

Author's Response: Eeeek! Rose, I'm so late responding! Been really tired lately, but thank you for the swap!

Wow, I really liked the fact I managed to suck you into it. That's really, really awesome. I'm super pleased I managed to do that.

There were so many parts and characters in this, that I had a lot of fun writing it. I got to give my own spin on my two OCs, and they were really fun.

That's really interesting, because I was thinking that maybe he opened up too soon. So thank you for telling me that it wasn't that fast, it's very supportive!

Thank you for liking the message, I'm super glad you found it strong :)

Thanks so much for this thoughtful review, Rose!



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Review #15, by Aphoride One

26th October 2013:
Hey there - thanks so much for the swap! I checked out the link before agreeing (I always check out other people's links when they post them - force of habit!) and it looked so interesting I kinda had to swap! :)

Oh my gosh, this was such a good story! It was just... so dark and emotional and heartbreaking, you know? And it makes you think, as well, which is so amazing - I don't know how you did it. Anything like this is such a hard topic to write about and you handled it so well, so you should definitely be proud of that!

I have to say, I like the way you characterised Lily. I like that she had issues at school, that she was bullied, that she had problems and wasn't 'normal' or 'perfect'. It's such a sad image of parts of the world/society we're in, you know, but it's something so real at the same time. I thought she was a wonderful character - you really allowed me to empathise with her, which made it all the more emotional.

James was great too! I liked how he was angry about what Lily did, angry at Albus for being the one to find out, and just really didn't know how to handle his emotions. It seems like such a plausible and understandable reaction, you know, and you dealt with it so well.

It's kinda scary, though, lol, because your OC reminds me far too much of myself in some ways. Being a blonde Laura really doesn't help :P It's brilliant, though - this is only a one-shot and yet all of the characters in it, Lily and James and Laura, are so wonderfully created. They're all so real and human. I loved how you ended it with Laura phoning her sister, it was such a bittersweet moment :)

Net was an awesome inclusion. I'm guessing she's sort of an Anubis-like figure, so to speak, sitting between the 'live' world and the 'dead' one. I've never read a story quite like this where they've included a sort of guide to the world who wasn't also a former character from the books, but I liked it.

Gah, this is a really lovely one-shot - even if it is pretty dark and depressing! Really lovely writing style and everything - but, seriously, your characters are genuinely amazing!

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi Aph! I'm really pleased this seemed appealing, my banner by LadyDi is amazing!

Wow thank you, you are way too kind. I'm a sucker for writing angst, I feel like I relate so well to it. It comes really naturally to me, I enjoy writing it. Writing this was fun in the beginning and then it became so painful.

Yeah *scratches head* I always end up killing Lily in my next gen stories.. It's really weird :P I try to keep it as "wizard"y as I can, without it being so "Muggle". I try, and I know I need to go back and work on that. I'm really happy it worked for you though!

James' reaction had a lot to do with research, listening to actual stories. I like how he turned out too.

Yay for blonde Lauras! Haha, I wanted a name and couldn't decide so just went "Laura". I'm not happy with her last name but oh well, what can I do ;)

Yup, Net's definitely like Anubis. I kind of took her from Nephthys, who is Anubis' mother. Net was kind of like the Dumbles to Harry, except to Lily and I tried to make her as an ultimate guide. I'm so glad you liked her, she and Laura were my first try at OCs.

Thanks so much! This review is so kind and thoughtful, Aph! Thanks for doing this lovely!


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Review #16, by DumbledoresArmyOfOne One

26th October 2013:
Hey Nadia.

Um. Woah, okay how do I start this?

I admire you a lot just for tackling such a sensitive issue, and such a difficult topic to work with. But the fact that you pulled it off, with grace, with compassion is even more impressive.

The idea of having to be aware of the consequences before moving on- that's really powerful. I think you handled the split perspectives really well, and they really added to the power of the story. This is so heartbreaking, because you know that James will always be affected by Lily's death. She gets to move on, to sleep, but he and his family will always have that weight to carry with them. As much as I think james needed to open up, I don't see him ever completely getting over it or moving on.

Apart from a couple of grammar/ spelling mistakes and a slight overuse of commas, this was really well written. The pacing worked really well for this type of story.

Finally, I think the ending was perfect. It's so hard to find a positive note in this situation, but find it you did and you finished the story on a perfect note.

Thanks for sharing this with us, Nadia
~Gilly

Author's Response: Gilly!

Angst angst and more angst. That's Nadia for you. I swear, it's all I actually enjoy writing. There's so many issues out there... I try to make use of them as much as I can.

I really like how you put it that way. You understood exactly what I was going for - they leave so much pain behind.

Yeah, I need to work on those mistakes! I'll be sure to fix them when I get the chance, thanks for pointing that out!

I tried.. I felt like I needed to give Laura something. When I go back I'll be adding more depth into her character.

Thanks so much for the swap Gilly, your review has made me so happy.

Nadia ♥


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Review #17, by randomwriter One

15th October 2013:
Nadia! I came rushing as soon as I saw that you'd posted this. I kept wondering if it had something to do with 'Her Only Choice', but I'm glad you cleared that up in your Author's Note.

Now, OH MY GOD. The feels are just too much. I was so close to tears and I had to keep telling myself to keep it in control lest someone walks into my room to find a blubbering mass for no apparent reason. You say that the other one is darker, but I think this one is. Mainly because there's this hopelessness not is present in every fold of this story, and it sticks. I'm done reading it, and I'm still in the 'zone', if you get what I mean. I also think that in the other fic, you'd shown pain only from Lily's perspective. Here, we got to see multiple perspectives, and we got to see multi-dimensional pain from both sides.

To see James so broken, and seeing how that affected Lily was what just broke me. James is always lighthearted and fun and seeing him like this is just SO sad.

I like how you've written this with the whole switching perspectives. It wasn't confusing and I think it was a nice way of telling a tale from all sides.

I think a part of me really hoped that Lily would be able to come back. But I get why you ended it like this. It's a really good idea for the kind of story this is. Another thing I thought I should mention is that this fic seems quite different from your other stories. It really suits you, and I'm glad you tried something different!

Overall, I'm still feeling all forlorn and lost, which means that your story has done the trick. Angst does well on you, Nadia! Good story, bro!

P.S- On a lighter note, I hope I managed to sneak in the first review :P

Author's Response: Adi! Sadly someone else managed to sneak in a review before you... But that's okay because this was pretty awesome.

Yeah, people have asked me that. I couldn't have this be a companion of HOC, only because I needed to change her age and stuff so I made a whole new story for it.

Ah, I was crying as I was writing James' lines and, I tried so hard to look for real life stories for inspiration and to get the feel of someone who's gone through it, and it was agonizing. I had to step aside for a moment, and then continue writing.

I'm so glad you liked that way, I was scared it would be hard to follow, or it would get annoying.

I just wanted to show, that you might want to do it, but you're hurting so many people around you if you do.

I hope you find yourself Adi!

I really like the way you worded it, and it truly is a chain reaction of unnecessary pain all around.

Thanks for stopping by m'dear! ♥


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Review #18, by lindslo2012 One

15th October 2013:
This was sooo sad... but so sweet at the same time. I loved it.

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for loving it, it means so much. Thank you :)

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