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2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TheWizardingPorcupine Head Girl

29th November 2013:
Okay. . . Lily doesn't seem as strong in this chapter, she seems more like the stereotypical American teen-girl (NOT TRYING TO BE OFFENSIVE, in fact I'm an American teen girl too). Also, the fact that Tonks- Nymph- is in Remus's year(she's supposed to be YEARS younger then him) kind of ruins their romance for me. And then when you put Lily as one of the most popular students in the year and she's AWARE of it- let's just say I didn't like it that much.
I wasn't really impressed by this chapter as much as I was by your first one. But please, keep writing!

Author's Response: Yeah I wanted Lily to seem realistic, not this perfect image, cause, well, she's human, like all of us! And thanks for that I'll make sure to edit her out DARN! and poopy I forgot about this I wrote this quickly to save my progress but no edits so I'm so sorry edits coming out soon!

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Review #2, by TheWizardingPorcupine Chapter 1

29th November 2013:
This is really funny! Finally, Lily isn't portrayed as a perfect, socially amazing, charmingly clueless witch! Please, when you're writing older Lily, don't change her into a Barbie Doll, make her stay the same!
i really enjoyed this chapter. Though it isn't as flawless or well-written as some of the others on this site, it has this (at the risk of sounding like Prof. Trelawney) aura of reality and humor.
Please keep writing!

Author's Response: Yeah it's not perfect... cause Im not really... I'm working on writing more and editing!

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