Reading Reviews for Sleepwalk
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by KatieR920 Jane

3rd December 2013:
Please write more soon! I can't get enough!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing! This really means a lot! I'm so happy you liked this xx

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Review #2, by lily_flowers Jane

8th November 2013:
Oh this was so good!!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing! This really means a lot! I'm so happy you liked this xx

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Review #3, by flowery_lily dead-weight

22nd October 2013:
this wass so good! Can't wait to read more !

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing! This really means a lot! I'm so happy you liked this xx

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Review #4, by rozen_maiden dead-weight

21st October 2013:
I actually read this about two nights ago, and I've been trying to find the right words to say to tell you how fantastic and poetic your writing is, but I'm still struggling. Hopefully it will just be enough to say I'm eagerly awaiting your next update, because this was truly magnificent. Well done :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing! This really means a lot! I'm so happy you liked this xx

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Review #5, by academica dead-weight

19th October 2013:
Hello! :)

Wow, this was really cool. I'm very excited to see your unique style play out in a longer work. The first thing I noticed and really liked is your portrayal of Lily - she's very tough, inside and out, and yet not without some vulnerability at her core. She's interestingly detached from everyone else in the story at this point, which is kind of a cool way to conceptualize the issue of blood. It must be bizarre to be one of only a couple Muggle-borns even left at the school.

Yeah, the lack of emotion here is interesting. Lily is contrasted so effectively against girlish Mary and concerned James. I'd say the character she's got the most in common with right now is Sirius, though we only know a teeny bit about your Severus at this point. By the way, I thought that short scene with Sirius was really poetic.

The only critique I have to offer is that this chapter seems a bit bare bones. It hooked me in, but I thought you missed a good opportunity to stretch those imagery muscles I know you have and fill in some of the surroundings to the dialogue. I can appreciate that maybe you decided to go that route because of the detached theme, though.

Great work! I'll be back for the next chapter :)


Author's Response: yay! I love getting your reviews so this was such a great surprise.

As always you catch on quickly. You've nailed it completely in all of your assertions. It's so fulfilling when readers get the characterization and the points I've made. You're right: Lily has a lot in common with Sirius, and yes, the numbness and lack of emotions portrayed here was quite calculated, as well as Mary and James's overbearing nature.

I've actually gone back since I read your review and fleshed out the dialogue a bit because I think you have a point: I should use my imagery a lot more ;) I think I got so caught up in Lily's lack of emotions that I forgot to spread out my imagination, letting it spread out as usual instead of being so focused on my plot and dialogue and allowing it to limit me.

This review was so helpful in every aspect, thank you so much for leaving feedback - it is greatly appreciated. And thanks for the nomination :) You're wonderful.

- Emma xx

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Review #6, by TenthWeasley dead-weight

18th October 2013:
Hello -- swinging by for the TGS review exchange!

I was so excited to click on this story and realize that it was a Marauders era. And a Snape/Lily, no less! I'm very partial to anything dealing with either the Marauders or Snape (in case you've never heard, although I'm certainly not quiet about it), and the pair of them together is a winning combination. I can't remember if I've ever read anything of yours, but I've heard from several people that you're a very good writer, too, so that made me even more excited!

And those people did you credit. :) This is very different than any Snape/Lily I can remember reading before, and I'm especially intrigued that you're following canon. Weirdly enough, Snape/Lily only catches my attention when canon is followed, which probably isn't normal for shipping purposes. I think you got both of their characters very well in this first chapter! So many people either overwrite or underwrite Lily, if that makes any sense -- she's either flying off the handle all the time, or she's so insignificant it hardly seems to matter if she's a part of the story or not. You had a really nice balance to her personality.

Your descriptions were also lovely. ♥ Very poetic, and not at all like one normally sees in fan fiction. I've noticed this trend of late, this incorporating more abstract and more literary techniques into fic writing. Lines like this:

And Sirius continues standing there, watching his school unravel, the fag illuminating his face for seconds only, smoke rising like halos.

Itís the late dusk where the sun peaks before it crests, orange hazes and a warm cocoon embracing her face.

And sheíll murmur his, a light caress of summer as winter arrives, the flower blooming out of snow.

Very lovely!

I enjoyed reading this chapter for you. Great job with it, really! The world needs more Marauder-era Snape/Lily (she said selfishly).

Author's Response: Yay! Review exchange :) Thank you so much for reviewing! This really means a lot! I'm so happy you liked this - Snape and Lily are wonderful xx

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Review #7, by lily_swan dead-weight

15th October 2013:
this was amazing!!! ten out of ten

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing! :)

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Review #8, by herms dead-weight

14th October 2013:
i love your writing especially that tonks one shot. i love this

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing! It really means a lot.

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