Reading Reviews for A Moment of Fear
  
103 Reviews Found

Review #1, by adluvshp Lily

27th August 2014:
Hello! Here for TGS review exchange.

This is a very nice idea for a short story collection, and I liked this first chapter very much. It was interesting how your focus was on Lily's fear of marriage rather than the whole war thing. Marriage is a big step and any man/woman is bound to get nervous on their wedding day. I think you portrayed lily's nervousness and fear very well. Her question of whether she could continue to love James in the "unforeseeable" future was a very apt one. It is kind of sad that the couple never got that far though... but anyway, you got her thoughts and feelings right in my opinion.

The setting of the story was good too, and I liked the brief mention of Petunia. The memory of James' proposal was sweet too; I liked how it wasn't all fancy and extravagant but rather quite simple. Lily's parents were also included in the chapter fairly well.

All in all, good job! it made for a nice little read and I enjoyed it!

Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

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Review #2, by nott theodore Remus

9th July 2014:
Hi again, Rose!

This was another great chapter, and a fantastic ending to the Moments of Fear that you've been writing for the Marauders and others! I liked the fact that you ended it with Remus, who was the only one left living any semblance of a normal life after the first war was over, and even then he suffered because of his lycanthropy.

It won't be a surprise to you that I love the way that you write Remus and think your characterisation is fantastic - since you've written a novel about him, it makes sense for you to capture him perfectly. I think that the fear of being alone is something that would be very real to him, and it just made me so sad to think of him in those thirteen years between his friends dying and him finding out Sirius was innocent, because he was so alone in that.

I loved the fact that you included the Christmas before in this chapter, though. It was nice to see a flashback to a happy memory of them all as friends, ignoring the war for a day. Sirius and Remus made me laugh when it came to handling Harry, and the way that they teased James had become domesticated :P But it emphasised just how lonely he was in the present Christmas and it was so moving.

You've done a great job with this story, Rose. I love the idea behind it and the execution has been brilliant!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Sian! (x2!!)

I can't tell you how much squee I got out of this review. Your reactions to this were exactly what I hoped for when I sat down to write this (which doesn't happen all the time but it's amazing when it does). Remus was my clear choice for the last quote and the last person to talk about. I could have fit him in earlier with the mistrust and alienation but this was much more impactful.

ha, well, despite having written a novel about Remus, I still get excited when people say I've written him well. He's one of my favorite characters so it's important to me that I do him justice. Ugh, yes, the 13 years of solitude were heart breaking for me to think about.

Contrasting the two Christases was my way of showing how different Remus' life was in the war versus afterwards. It's another thing you picked up on right away which others did not :) All in all, Remus lost so much during the war that it couldn't have felt like much of a victory in the end.

*hug* I'm just so moved that you liked this story so much. It was one of my more out there story ideas (in terms of blending two poetry into a fic and giving it the overall story arc). Thank you so much for such a wonderful, uplifting review!

-Rose


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Review #3, by nott theodore Sirius

9th July 2014:
Hi Rose! I'm trying to leave some reviews for our lovely staffers in the middle of my reviewing frenzy and couldn't resist coming back to finish this story!

Wow, this was such a sad chapter. I mean, with it being about Sirius I knew it would be, and since the rest of the chapters have followed a chronological order, this could only take place after Lily and James have died. But still, it made me so sad to read how much grief he was feeling and all the chaos of emotions that were running through him at this point.

I loved your portrayal of Sirius here. I know you've written him before but I thought that you captured his character perfectly, especially at this time. The fact that he was so devoid of hope and happiness when he realised what had happened, as well as the guilt that consumed him knowing he'd been the one to suggest Peter as the secret keeper. I thought all of that tied in really well to the quote at the beginning.

The sections in italics, when Sirius was hearing James in his head, were probably my favourite part of this. They worked so well and I think you captured James's voice too. Only the thought of one day doing his duty again could combat the sadness and grief Sirius was feeling, and I'm glad that you ended the chapter on a slightly more hopeful note!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Sian!!

I'm so happy you came back to this story!! It's missed you! :D

this chapter hit a lot of people in the feels. It hit me in the feels when I wrote it. Whoo - you picked up on my not so subtle chronological order thing (some people missed that).

I'm really thrilled you liked my portrayal of Sirius. I've written him a lot but never at such a low point. Yay! I worked a bit to get this part of the story to fit its quote even though the quote is a bit abstract (this chapter is also a bit abstract).

Writing James into this chapter started off as a way to break the monotony of mysery but turned into a great way of reflecting Sirius' mood and events. I'm so happy that I got James down. i've only written him a few times before this. I needed to end this on hope - otherwise it would have been too miserable.

Thanks for a wonderful review!!

-Rose


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Review #4, by kenpo Lily

29th May 2014:
Hello!! I'm so sorry that it took me this long to get to this review... Yikes! I usually try to not let them get past 12 hours.

But I'm here now, so hopefully all is forgiven. I'm on an iPad, which I'm not used to, so... Bear with me here.

I have this feeling that I've read this before, or something else based off of litany of fear? But I double checked the reviews on this to make sure I hadn't already reviewed it, and I haven't, so... I'm a little crazy, I guess.

I adore your characterization of Lily here. She's so much more pragmatic than James, and you've really showed that. Her fears are totally understandable, and I can see how they'd be worsened by a lack of support from her sister. That would be so horrible... To feel as if your sister isn't really your sister anymore. You did a fantastic job of pointing out the pain that lily has without brooding on it for too long.

I always forget that we know from the prophecy that lily and James faced voldemort three times... I also don't think that I see that mentioned in fics very much... It's great that not only did you remember it, but you really pointed it out in the story and brought the readers attention to it.

Equal to lily, your James was great. He has so much confidence in their relationship, and in the way that he feels about her. He gets a lot of criticism for being so obsessive sometimes, but I think those feeling would mature into this unwavering loyalty and love.

Your inclusion of mrs Evans was a very sweet touch. I'd like to know how she feels about petunias absence... I'm guessing that she tries to stay neutral. It's nice to see that lily does have support from her family, even without her sister.

I usually feel that James and lily did rush into their marriage, and you showed that we'll. if thY had lived on, I'm not sure if their relationship would've lasted. Hmmm maybe I'll write an au...

This was a bit sad... Just thinking about how her big day is so drowned in fear and doubtful ness. Even so, she does really seem to love and care for James.

Oh! I almost forgot!! I loved the line about how she didn't have a witty remark after his proposal. Fantastic.

Alright... Again, I'm really sorry that this took so long. This was an exceedingly interesting story, and if I get the chance you'll probably get reviews from me on the other one shots in the series.

Really nice read!

-Georgia

Author's Response: it's okay to take a while - I know you always get to reviews! I can't type right now so this might not make any sense.

Um, did you chekc this out for the Diadems? OMG, THIS ONE A DIADEM! for being heart-breaking - go figure :P I don't know if there are other stories based on this. :-/ I kind of hope not.

the fear in this part of the story is very realistic and understandable. Some of them are a bit less definable. It would be really horrible to get married and not have your sister there to be supportive. At least for most sisters...

I feel like most people are scared to address their escapes from Voldemort because they're such a big deal (or people forget - I'm not sure).

I'm really thrilled you liked Lily and James in this - they felt hard to define for a while. Everyone has an idea as to what they should but it's hard to get a nice, nuanced characterization for them. I'd like to hope that James' love would be loyal and unwavering.

Mrs. Evans was a must for me in this part of the story. Just, it would uber-suck to not have her mom there for her wedding. I like to think she didn't want to touch on anything upsetting like Petunia's attitude.

I am a strong believer that they would have gone through a rocky marriage. I'm on the fence about whether they'd stay together or not though. DO AN AU ABOUT IT!

well... this did win an award for being sad. :) I mean, the overall story, not just this chapter.

Thanks so much for a lovely review!!!

-Rose


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Review #5, by maraudertimes Voldemort

1st February 2014:
Hiya Rose! No review blitz, really, just here because I have some time and I got curious! :)

This was really well written. I could never dream of writing a character such as Voldemort, but you've pulled it off expertly. I can feel the harshness within him, the cold and unyielding facade he has that masks his fear of death.

The only thing I saw that was slightly CC, was: "Still, the fools still resisted his power." Don't think that sounds right...

But other than that, this was a home run. A strike. A goal, a basket, a whatever you want to call it! It was amazingly cool to see inside Voldemort's head, and to see what he was thinking of before and during his hunt of the Potters. I think you also portrayed Pettigrew extremely well, too. He's whiny and wimpy and cowardly, but he had enough nerve to show up at the Dark Lord's steps because he felt jilted and unwanted.

Your writing style in this chapter was amazing and I loved everything about it, from the characterization of Voldemort and Pettigrew, to the setting, to the canon information. I especially loved how Voldemort chose Halloween as he believed it to be an extremely magical day. It shows how much he covets strong magic.

Great job Rose!
Lo:)

Author's Response: Lo!

I had thought you reviewed all of this but I'm glad you came back (I guess my memory is a bit iffy sometimes :P)

Writing Voldemort was a bit intimidating but then I figured out how to be evil - just do and think the opposite of what a good person would. Looking into him was quite ugly and disquieting.

I prefer gol!!! (ever watch soccer in Spanish?) I am glad this chapter was good!! It was fun to write Peter at his worst. I did my best not to make any excuses for him. I might do a story about Peter deciding to turn on his friends (but that's neither here nor there)

Thank you so much for such lavish compliments! :D My main headache with this was trying to decide why Voldemort waited upwards of 2 years before attacking the Potters (I mean, Snape heard the prophecy before Harry was born and he didn't attack until Harry was a year and 3 months old). Then why Halloween? that was an easy part to explain away at least.

Thank you so much for an awesome review!!

-Rose


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Review #6, by Pixileanin Lily

29th January 2014:
Tag! I hope. I'm a slow tagger. Anyway, you get a review. Yay!

I saw your blog about this story collection when you were first posting it. I read Dune and I thought it was an interesting concept. This first installment about Lily right before her wedding was sweet and also realistic how she allowed her thoughts to ponder exactly what it was that she was doing that day. It must not have been easy to continue living when the war was raging all around them on a daily basis, but we did know that they continued on with life, even though Voldemort's threat was hovering at their doorstep.

Lily's thoughts about her sister made me sad. It's so unfortunate that she had that rift in her family, but here, you presented her with supportive parents. I'm glad for that. The support that she has around her seemed to give her the strength she needed to set her doubts aside and let go of the fear.

Nice, clean prose. Even flow. This was a pleasure to read!

Author's Response: Hi Pix!

Review tag can be treacherous when it comes to being scooped. :( I'm glad you weren't though!

It's exciting for me to have someone read this who is familiar with Dune - I mean, the quotes are rather straight foward but it does give extra meaning to the stories and the quotes. I'm extremely gald you liked the installment on Lily. I wanted to start with something light for a fear and have a fluffy chapter (or two) before the story got darker.

I like to think everyone is afraid on their wedding day. No matter if they're just two people with simple, normal lives, or in the middle of a war and being targeted by the enemy.

Having Lily's parents be there and quite supportive where her sister was not felt like a good balance for her to have. I'm really glad you liked that.

Thank you so much for such a nice and thoughtful review!

-Rose


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Review #7, by GingeredTea Lily

27th January 2014:
I really loved what you did here - the whole idea of this short series actually. You portrayed Lily very well, although we never really get to know her in the books.

Your flow was steady and consistent and you let that fear wash over her at just the right moments.

Great little peek into Lily Potter. :)

Author's Response: I'm so glad you like the idea behind this short story series! It gets darker with each chapter - lily and James have the fluffiest parts.

Thank you so much for such a nice and thoughtful review!

-Rose


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Review #8, by nott theodore Snape

25th January 2014:
Hi Rose! I'm here with your requested review!

First of all, there were a couple of errors that I picked up on:
"That is where the spoiled James had been raised" - Your tense is wrong here - it needs to be 'was'
"Not after he kills her son" - again, 'killed' fits better here
"array of possibilities He had been instructed" - you're missing a full stop after 'possibilities'

Onto the rest of the review! I was really pleased you re-requested for this story and really interested when I saw that you'd written about Snape. I don't think that he's an easy character to get right - like you said, he's extremely complex, and there are lots of layers there to explore, but the idea of his fear worked really well. I do think that was probably his only fear at the time, losing Lily, and I liked the way you built up to that throughout the piece, culminating in him facing his fear, which meant that the chapter fit well with the quote.

Your characterisation of Snape was brilliant in this chapter, I have to say. I couldn't like him, exactly, but then I find it difficult to like him in the books because of the character he is. I felt like you nailed him here, especially from his canon characterisation. The moment when he spoke about Lupin being cast off by his friends - the enjoyment that he got from that showed his hatred for the Marauders and was in-keeping with his attitude towards Lupin later on; even though he's changed sides and he's now working on the same side as them, he still doesn't like the Marauders or accept them as his equals, it seems.

The fact that you highlighted he had only turned to Dumbledore in desperation and weakness felt very in character, too. Snape is probably the last person to admit that he needs help, and I suppose that the only reason he was prepared to do it was because it was the only chance he had to save Lily: it makes the realisation of his fear have more of an impact at the end of this chapter.

When Snape was thinking about the possibility of him being with Lily in the end, if Voldemort saved her - it made my skin crawl slightly. It's so horrible to think that he could almost wish for that, while her whole family was at risk - that he could think she'd want to go to him, even if he admitted he'd changed sides to try and protect her. It was great characterisation, though. I've always felt that Snape's love for Lily was quite selfish, and that he coveted her almost like an object for him to possess, and that tied in really well with that idea.

His hatred for Black was very effective, as well. It reminded me how tragic it was that the ruse the Potters had cooked up with Sirius and Wormtail was so effective that it destroyed all of their lives, really, and nobody knew. Thinking about it from that perspective, it makes Snape's hatred of Sirius more understandable - initially he thought that he was the one to betray Lily, and then blamed him for her death. The reference to the 'worm' was very well placed.

I do think that you wrote Snape's fear very well, actually. The way that he dwelled on Lily and the thought of losing her was great - in a way he seemed to avoid thinking about her dying, because that was too much for him to deal with. The build-up was effective in creating more tension and heightening our sense of Snape's fear before he had to realise it and see Lily dead, which you wrote really well too. I actually felt sorry for him at the end!

Great job with this, Rose, and I hope this review was helpful!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hi Sian!

Thank you so much for pointing out those errors! I always appreciate getting the specific lines that I need to go and fix.

Snape was one of the harder people to write about for this story. His fear felt like the most obvious one though. Building up to his fear and losing Lily was an adventure to me. I'm so glad his story fit with the quote. I felt his was the best fit (in that it's the least abstract) but it's great to hear that frome someone else.

I can't tell you how fabulous it is to hear that his characterization was good. He's not my favorite character either (I'm somewhere between tolerating him and dislike). I felt like I was highlighting everything I dislike about Snape when I was writing his treatment and thoughts regarding the Marauders.

It seemed like, at least at first, Snape would loathe the fact that he had to reach out for help - that he was inadequate when it came to protecting Lily.

Snape's furtive hopes about having Lily to himself if Voldemort finished her family was utterly creepy. I agree that it shows the depth of his selfishness towards her. I could never ship them because of his attitude toward her as an object to possess rather than an equal/person.

I always thought his hatred of Sirius had to run just a touch deeper than them being enemies at school. If Snape knew that Pettigrew had betrayed Lily (et al) he would have turned him in. Not to save Black but to punish the actual traitor. I do think their ruse was quite tragic once everything was all done and over with.

It's quite a victory for me that you felt bad for Snape in the end. I'm extremely glad the build up of his fear was effective! I thought him averting thoughts of Lily being dead would make it that much worse when it happened.

Thank you so much for a wonderfully helpful review! I'll be back to re-request soon!

-Rose


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Review #9, by KiwiOliver Lily

21st January 2014:
Aww, I love these gushy kinda happy chapters :) Lily seems like a wonderful character and although I'm glad she had a bit of perspective on things and wasn't mindlessly happy about her wedding, you've written a character that I'd like to see happy.

Your writing style is really good, the dialogue flows smoothly and I was immersed from start to finish!

I'd like to read more of your take on the Marauders so I'll be sure to check your page for some! If not well you'd be great at writing them *hinthint*.

The only improvement I'd suggest is maybe make it a wee bit longer, only to satisfy my own curiosity :) So I suppose that could be rephrased as 'I wish there was more because I can't get enough.'

Author's Response: Hello!!

Aw, well, this is about as gushy as I get. :D It was interesting when I picked her for the first chapter of this story, I had a very specific timeline it had to fit in. I was worried about showing her as anything but mindlessly happy on her wedding day (I thought Jily fans would hunt me down - but I'm a brave person sometimes).

It means a lot to hear that my writing was smooth and that you got lost in it. ^_^

Well, this story does have more of the marauders but not marauders at school. It's more of the post school but during the war. I also have two other more normal marauder stories. ahaha, I don't know if I could write a full out marauders era story. I mean, I feel like the Sirius/OC stories have more than enough coverage. :D

You might be the nicest reviewer I've ever had. :D I do think this chapter could use more. I was a bit bumpy starting off and this is the worst chapter of the story. :D

Thank you so much for such a lovely review. You're really too kind!!!

-Rose


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Review #10, by shez Remus

14th January 2014:
Nice chapter about Remus!

While it wasn't necessarily a happy chapter, I think it was less depressing than the other ones. I especially liked the Christmas meeting with all of them and it's a nice tie-together chapter after getting individual chapter on Lily, James, Sirius (what, Snape wasn't invited? haha). Their friendship is very realistic and heartwarming and funny (haha poking fun at domesticated James).
Of course other aspects of the chapter were quite sad. The part of Remus's father and his mother having passed away, on top of losing his best friends. While I'm not entirely sure if Remus would so easily believe that Sirius was the traitor; I think he would be more stunned or in disbelief.

Over all, I like that Remus's fear is being alone. It suits him very well :)

And I especially liked your last lines:

Would Remus exchange the safety and security of the wizarding world for his friends and the fear-filled lives they led? Yes, in a moment, yes.

Author's Response: After your comments on the Sirius chapter, anything would seem happy I bet. :) I thought it would be interesting to contrast the fun, warm Christmas and experiences of Remus' past with the cold, lonely present. You did get a friendship scene at least! eeh??

I think it was just that they (Sirius and James) had announced that Sirius would be the secret keeper so it would follow logically that Sirius had betrayed them.

I'm really glad you liked his fear as well as the last line. I wanted to leave it a bit open as to whether he'd trade safety for his friends or agreed that trading his friends for safety was a good thing.

Thank you for the incredible review!

-Rose


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Review #11, by shez Sirius

13th January 2014:
Hey Rose! Here for the Sirius (no pun intended) chapter.

So I knew this would be sad, and way, way sadder than all of the other ones. I kind of feel like you're going down in time with all the characters (You started with Lily on her wedding, then Voldy planning their deaths, then Snape witnessing their deaths, and now Sirius hunting down Peter for causing their deaths. I don't know if you meant to do that but it's kind of cool). But anyway, this was hands down the saddest one yet.

THOSE FLASHBACKS HOW COULD YOU DO THAAT TO ME AND JAMES AND SIRI BROMANCE GAH. YOU JUST CAN'T GIVE ME A HAPPY FRIENDSHIP STORY CAN YOU???

And poor Sirius is going mad in prison, hearing his voice. Again, characterization is spot-on. I especially liked their younger bits and retorts back and forth (haha casanova Sirius).

I also really liked this part:

Maybe he wasn’t being impacted like the other prisoners. They still had hope. Sirius had felt that emotion leave his body when he bade farewell to his best mate and godson.

Not only are you showing how much James meant to Sirius but the impact of his death was so severe that Sirius sees no hope for himself, (and thus this mind set, ironically, helps him survive amidst the dementors)

I really wished Dumbledore had helped him.

I also really like your sliver of hope ending. Sirius slowly regains his will to live by turning to his dog counterpart, because he knows that he has to protect his godson, the only living connection he still has to James.

This is an amazing and profound character study of Sirius Black and I'm not just saying that. It's probably the best I've ever read. The way you handle tone and emotions is astounding, going from happy-school day flashback to hopeless prison setting. basically it's amazing. I'm totally jealous.

:p

Author's Response: Shez!!! I'm so glad you got to the Sirius chapter. :D

I am going through time chronologically - it was a thread I wanted through the stories but didn't want to shout about it. So, having people catch it makes me all sorts of happy. This might be the saddest chapter (at least people have been telling me that).

I'M SORRY - HAPPINESS IS HARD FOR ME TO WRITE! If I ever do write a happy friendship story, I'll dedicate it to you. Oh, wait, I do have a fluffy/happy friendship story between James and Sirius!

It was hard to write Sirius in prison - his mind is detiorating a bit but I still wanted it to sound like him (just a touch crazy). James became a key part to the plot. At first he was useful to break the story into interesting parts (and not have it all be narration). He turned into my explanation for Sirius keeping his mind and having a path forward.

Dumbledore was frustrating here. CambAngst put it best when he reviewed this chapter - he said something along the lines of Dumbledore was all about getting inside Voldemort's head and taking pictures but he passed up the opportunity to see how he got one of James' closest friends to turn on him.

I had to give the reader (and myself) a bit of hope at the end. I really wanted to draw the connection between Harry and James in Sirius' head - I'm glad that came through.

Can I just give you a cake as thanks for your last bit of the review? I am a bit speechless at that. ^_^

Thank you so much for such a lovely and shout-y review (I like it when I get shout-y reviews).

-Rose


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Review #12, by shez Snape

10th January 2014:
So I had to do Snape because Snape is Snape and Snape is awesome.

I've said this before but I think you have a real gift for getting canon characterizations right. It's not something I think I could ever do but the way you wrote Snape here very Rowling-esque. I personally find him the most compelling character in the HPverse. I like that he hides behind his mask of cool indifference and that you show how much he loves Lily despite everything and its not as much from a romantic perspective as he feels he's losing his dearest friend. Haha James is spoiled and Black is arrogant and I liked the "there was a worm in the midst" reference. It's fascinating to see James and Lily's deaths from Snape's perspective. You did really well here. I don't know if I can face Sirius in the next chapter as I'm sure it also has to do with James and Lily's deaths.

Great Job like always :)

Author's Response: Hi Shez!!

I like getting Snape fans to review this chapter - just because it's best to get an opinion from soneone who is rather passionate. Thank you so much for saying I do characterizations well!! I think some characters just come to me. I was worried that Snape was too extreme in his dislike for James and Sirius. You'll do okay in the Sirius chapter. It only touched on James and Lily's death. it's kind of the weirdest chapter in the story.
Thank you so much!
-Rose


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Review #13, by heartjily4ever Voldemort

6th January 2014:
Hey this is heartjily4evers reviews, sorry this took so long to get round to. I'm a terrible person and school is just being ugh. Exams and stuff. Anyway sorry.

First of all i love the idea of Voldemorts point of view. I've never really seen a story like this which would ever think of going from his point of view so well done.

I think you've captured his personality really well in the first couple of paragraphs. The words you use, gruesome and beautiful together work so well to portray the twisted innards of his mind. He seems exactly like I would expect, relishing in the murders of innocents. Whole families, like you've put, and he is glad that they are described so badly. It's perfect for him. The bit about Pettigrew works as well - I would never expect him to trust the slimy traitor that he is.

The torturing scene really grasps the full extent of Voldemort complete disregard for human feelings i think, and how bad his followers became as well. He just loved the thrill of causing pain, and this is perfect voldyness.

I think the fear suits him well as well. Fear of this unknown boy, who could be more powerful, does seem like one of the only things he would fear- apart from dumbledore. Not many things could defeat him so this idea of a young boy is more terrifying to him i think, than anything else. The idea that something so young and helpless could defeat him. It's the perfect idea of fear. You bring it into his thoughts brilliantly as well. It's definitely not too muddled. And the bit at the end with his fear hitting him, being his death, thats an amazing piece of writing.

I loved this chapter, and you've made Voldemort even creepier for me :D

Author's Response: Hello!! Sorry it's taken me a bit to respond to your wonderful reivew!

I don't know if there are a lot of Voldemort-POV stories out there. I'm not sure if most people just want to avoid writing him.

It was a bit creepy to get intide Voldemort's head. It was a bit like opposite land trying to nail down his values and reactions. I had the idea about him not really trusting Pettigrew from stuff I've read in other books about a traitor. That stigma seems to stick with people even years after they defect.

Writing about the toture made my stomach churn (and really, kind of creeps me out that it came from my mind :P).

His fear was slightly ambiguous. I mean, part of it was the fear of the unknown boy and part of it was a bit harder to define - the idea of a threat or a challenge to his power seemed to scare him. Having a boy he could go after was just bonus for him.

Thank you so much for such an insightful and helpful review!

-Rose


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Review #14, by CambAngst Sirius

22nd December 2013:
Tagging you from Review Tag!

As you pointed out in your author's note, there wasn't a single, clear fear that dominated this chapter in the way that past chapters have been, but I didn't see that as such a huge deal. Sirius's story seems really central to the thread that seems to be running through your chapters. I think I've figured out what that is now. :)

You have a pretty good command of what makes Sirius tick. He's struggling so much with that sense of failure, the feeling that he's let everyone down and he needs to do something to remedy the situation. In the immediate aftermath of James and Lily's death, I thought you hit all the right notes. He's broken with grief. It also kills him to realize that everyone who matters to him -- chiefly Remus, but also Dumbledore -- will think that be betrayed James and Lily. But mostly he's intent on avenging them by killing Peter.

I was a little bummed that you sort of skipped over Sirius's hunt for the rat. I know it wasn't vital to the story, but I felt like there was a gap between the moment where he's about to go to Peter's childhood home and the moment where he's waiting in a street full of dead muggles, waiting to be captured by MLEP.

I absolutely adored the conversations that he has inside his head with James, especially the first one. All of the little jabs that James makes about how Sirius was outsmarted by Peter were great. Even in death, I imagine that James would have been able to make light of things if only to help Sirius out.

Funny that Sirius thinks that Dumbledore was going to be his salvation. Of all the balls that Dumbledore dropped over the years -- and there were many -- I thought that never pursuing the truth about why Sirius would have betrayed James and Lily was one of the worst. I mean, Dumbledore's a guy who obsesses over Voldemort's plots and machinations. That's his thing, so to speak. And Voldemort has apparently managed to convince James Potter's dearest friend to betray him. If you're Dumbledore, and you practically live to get inside Voldemort's head and take pictures, wouldn't you want to explore that just a bit? Sorry, I'm ranting. Back to your regularly-scheduled review.

Innocence turned out to be a nasty friend in Azkaban. It was not a happy thought nor was one of solace. -- I loved that turn of phrase. Brilliantly done! And I loved the broader concept, the way that Sirius uses his hopeless reality and the horrible loss he's suffered to protect himself from the Dementors. I've seen similar concepts in other fics, but I thought this was one of the better-executed applications.

Lastly, I like how this segues into the moment when Fudge accidentally lets Sirius see the Daily Prophet with Peter and the Weasleys. He was ready for that moment, and that was his trigger. It all fits brilliantly!

Excellent chapter! Too bad I only have one left to read. I hope you're planning to do something about that. ;)

Author's Response: I'm glad the ambiguous fear wasn't an issue in reading this chapter. Others have pointed out his non-defined fear which is why I pointed it out as a known irregularity to begin with. ^_^ Sirius' story line always felt key to telling the larger story at play here.

Writing Sirius is usually fun for me. I've spent a lot of time with him bouncing through my head. He's such a man of action that I couldn't see him taking what might have been a Remus route of going to Dumbledore to explain/figure out the situation. This was definitely a view into Sirius breaking in very painful ways. He isn't in his right mind and I wanted to show that.

I did kind of cheat by not going into that. Part of me thought it didn't fit with the mood and cadence of the rest of the chapter. The hunt would have to be much more focused than I had Sirius throughout his downward spiral. I don't think the actual hunt would have taken that long as Peter was looking for Sirius looking for Peter. I like to give Peter enough credit to have known Sirius would start with his mother's but only know the general area she lived in. The other part was slight laziness. :D I did think the jump in time was more due to Sirius' devastation - at least that's how I ultimately justified it in my head.

Having James make a guest appearance as the voice in Sirius' head started off as a way to break up the long exposition with some dialogue. Then it turned into a key way to give the story a new dimension. James had to be funny - Sirius wouldn't imagine him being otherwise.

This chapter did make me mad at Dumbledore. I completely agree that for a man who was interested in interviewing house elves, old crazy people, and anyone with an significant insight to Voldemort - I don't know why he wouldn't check out why Sirius turned. He wouldn't even need Sirius' permission to jump into his memories for a bit. I have to think he had some sort of collaborating evidence that Sirius turned which made him not go interview him. *sigh* stupid plot devices.

I felt that his survival in Azkaban had to be explained (and the reason he didn't just escape right away). I was going with the idea that he needed something to cling onto but it would be like using barbed wire to climb out of a pit.

I'm really, really happy you liked this chapter and how it tied in with Sirius getting information from Fudge. This was the hardest chapter to write by far as the tone of it was quite different. The next chapter is the end of the story!

Thank you for sucn an incredible review!! I really enjoy reading your insight on chapters - you always leave such well thought out and thorough reviews.

-Rose


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Review #15, by CambAngst Snape

21st December 2013:
Tagging you from Review Tag! And how fortunate I feel to be able to catch you here. :)

This chapter was very different from the three that came before it. In the previous chapters, you showed the characters exploring and confronting, in some way, their fears. Perhaps even coming to terms with them in some cases. Here, we see Snape living out his worst nightmare. It was powerful and tense and instantly brought to mind the scene in the pensieve in Deathly Hallows. Ergo, it filled me with a horrible feeling of grief and sadness.

I thought you did a terrific job of capturing Snape's motivations and nuances. He might be Dumbledore's man, but he's far from sympathetic toward his fellow Order members. You set such a great tone early on:

“Only that the werewolf Lupin has been cast out by his friends,” Snape said relishing the truth behind his words. “He may be a good candidate to recruit as a spy.” The last part was far from the truth but the lie tasted sweet in his mouth. -- Yep, that's Severus Snape. He's practical enough to know which side he needs to be on, but he still relishes any opportunity to take pleasure in the unhappiness of his adversaries-turned-allies.

I liked that he blames Sirius for everything. One of the saddest aspects of the very sad story of the Marauders is that the ruse that James, Lily, Sirius and Peter devised together ended up being more effective than any of them probably ever dreamed that it could. It destroyed the lives of nearly everyone it touched. Snape simply draws the logical conclusion, as he was meant to.

Reliance on Dumbledore made Severus weak. But it had been a moment of the utmost weakness that caused him to turn to his former headmaster for help. -- This was a brilliant way to encapsulate Snape's betrayal of the Dark Lord from his point of view. I've never thought of him as being especially heroic. He had an insurmountable obsession with Lily, one that wasn't really healthy. It drove many of the most important decisions in his life. As you go on to show in such a gripping and thoughtful way, his greatest fear was a world without her. As long as she lived, he could continue to believe that she'd someday be his.

Then we come to the last scene. I was right there with Severus. I felt very apprehensive moving from paragraph to paragraph, knowing what was coming. I could practically hear the strains of the violin from the movie.

The sight that met Snape in the child’s room caused a piece of his life to end. She was dead, no more. -- It feels wrong to suggest that anything good came from Lily's death, but I can think of at least two. First, Harry lived on, protected from the Dark Lord. Second, Snape was finally forced to come to terms with reality. Lily was gone. There was no longer even a remote possibility that she might be his. It forced him to deal with reality as it truly was and decide once and for all where he stood, free of ulterior motives. The decision he made, in the end, made all the difference.

Beautiful chapter! I really enjoyed it and I'm looking forward to finishing!

Author's Response: I love getting your reviews - they're always thoughtful and full of delight! And, um, I'm quite beside myself that you've been looking to catch me on the Review Tag. Talk about ego-pumping.

Snape's fear was more immediate and in-the-moment than the other three. Not to mention his was the one which had the most at stake (in terms of Lily's death). Snape seemed like the best person to write in the midst of a tradity.

Snape was a struggle to get into so I'm extremely thrilled to hear that he felt right. :D We did see in the books that, while Snape was on Dumbledore's side, he never liked Dumbledore's people. His social enemies remained the same throughout his life.

The 'clever' move to have Peter as the secrect keeper and not tell people has made me irate on so many occassions (especially while writing this). It bothers me so much that no one questioned whether Sirius was the secret keeper but they weren't meant to. ugh.

I do see Snape as having more selfish motivations throughout the two wars. At least they start off that way. It kind of made me sick, the way he made her into this possession or goal to obtain. If she and James had lived, I think Snape would have tried his hand at splitting their marriage when they hit rocky times.

I'm so glad the story had you sucked into the end scene. It was the most powerful part of this chapter. Lily's death could have/should have been the end of his obsession but he never moved on. Even on his deathbead (floor really), Snape's one desire was to remember her and experience the hope that they could be together.

Thank you so much for a wonderful review!! I can't tell you how happy it makes me that you've enjoyed this short story series!!

-Rose


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Review #16, by Lady Asphodel Lily

8th December 2013:
This would have been a great way to start a story - just for Lily and James and what was it like during the first war. :)


I don't know. I'm not really into other parts of genre fics besides hogwarts-era fics, but this one here would have gotten me to read a whole novel of the Marauder's fic if you had wrote it that way.

Any who. This was an excellent read for me. Reading parts where Petunia's wedding didn't go well - I can imagine it in my head without you really going in deep which is a great thing, and the true moment of all... knowing that any time where everything can end for Lily - you really nailed it to the core - I can feel it deeply.

So great job with this! Your story flew nicely and just I really enjoyed it. ^_^


From the review tag,


- Asphodel

Author's Response: Hello!!

I felt like a few of these would have been interesting stand alone stories. I'm glad it got your attention - especially as you don't read a lot of Marauder era fics.

I almost went into a longer explanation of Petunia's wedding but it felt a bit off topic. ^_^ It's awesome that you were able to see a bit deeper than I wrote it and that you felt the gist of the story.

Thank you so much for an awesome review!!

-Rose


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Review #17, by Courtney Dark Snape

5th December 2013:
Tag!

Oooh, I actually I really enjoyed this chapter! Then again, I almost always enjoy reading things from Snape's point of view, and I think you did a really excellent job!

I enjoyed the scene between Snape and Rabastan in the Apothecary - we hardly ever see Rabastan so it was nice (not that nice is really a word that sums up his character) to see him. It actually also makes a lot of sense, meeting somewhere so open, so public. Somewhere no-one would expect secrets to be discussed. And Snape is, after all, a potions master.

I loved the way Snape tried to keep his composure when Rabastan gave him the news that the Dark Lord had found either the Potters or the Longbottoms, but you could just tell how fearful he was on the inside - it was very well written!

I think one of Snape's worst character traits is the fact that he didn't care about James and Harry, as long as Lily was alright. He would have been perfectly happy for her husband and son to die, so that he could have her all to himself. And I think you wrote this aspect of Snape's personality really well.

I especially enjoyed the scene at Godric's Hollow. I think you captured all of Snape's emotions, as well as his fear of losing Lily really, really well. And I just have to say: poor Sirius! Everyone thinks he is a disloyal traitor but HE ISN'T! IT'S PETER PETTIGREW EVERYONE!

Anyway, this was an awesome chapter! I think you captured the essence of Snape really, really well!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hi Courtney!!

I love having a Snape fan read this chapter!! It always feels a bit more gratifying to have an opinion from someone who likes Snape. :D

Using Rabastan was interesting. Being a younger brother I kind of imagined he'd get sent to do menial tasks like get info from Snape. Meeting in public was kind of a throwback to classic crime depictions where the worst crime is discussed in public. I'm really glad you liked it!!

aw, Having him keep his cool but still experience emotion was hard - glad it paid off.

Writing Snape's uglier side was a ton of fun! I agree that his indifference towards anyone is his greatest flaw. It killed me to write his lack of care for James and Harry. :(

Sirius really did get the short end of all of this heartache. Being blamed for so long and by everyone. :( When he lose lily seemed to be the only time it made sense to have him be super emotional and angsty.

I'm so glad you like this chapter and how I wrote Snape! He was a challenge to write about! Thank you so much for an awesome review!

-Rose


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Review #18, by 800 words of heaven Sirius

4th December 2013:
REVIEW TAG!

WHAT. HAVE. YOU. DONE. TO. ME?

I don't read Sirius in Azkaban stories often because they make me incredibly sad, but I really liked this. I wouldn't say it was a fun experience to read, but it was definitely... something.

I adore the way you characterised Sirius. I think you grasped his special brand of crazy hell: why it was the way it was. The way he reacts to his best friend's death seemed to me a very typical Sirius reaction - brash and not very well thought through. Even though he was grieving, he was still recognisably Sirius.

James' voice was a nice, if why-don't-you-just-tear-out-my-heart-and-be-done-with-it touch. It showed just how close they were, and I loved how they were such bros, even if one was just a figment of the other's imagination.

You described Sirius' experiences through Azkaban really well. It all seemed plausible and his emotional journey was interesting to read. Azkaban is definitely not a place that is most conducive to emotional development, and I think that explains a lot about him, and that sort of skewed growth really showed.

So this is the last moment of fear! I am so sad! Surprisingly, I think my favourite story was surprisingly Snape's, which is so strange because I really don't like him, even as an interesting character. This one just broke my heart though. So many pieces. I think I'll just go finish my tea and cry a little...

Fantastic as always, though!

Author's Response: ...have I made you happy? *hopefully look*
I'm guessing not.

I've never read a Sirius in Azkaban story. I might now because I'm curious how people write them. I'm really glad you liked it despite not loving the type of story it is and that it was something to read. :D

Coming up with his reactions to James' death was impossibly hard. I mean, I was trying to use Fudge's description of encountering Sirius after the muggle attacks as a basis for him. But still, he acted so bizzare and managed to get out witted by Peter. I decided that a bit of madness would go a long ways.

*shifty eyes* I do sometimes try to rip people's heart out when I write. Besides the sad factor, I wanted to have James' voice in there so it wouldn't read as a long exposition. That just sounded a bit boring in my head. And, you know, if you're going to visit crazy town, you should definitely bring your friends.

Trying to write Azkaban was so difficult. I think I struggled the most with this chapter actually. My main brain wave for this part was explaining how he didn't go as crazy as others (retained enough to be a bit magical). And, yeah, his emotional development went down the tubes. :(

No more fear after this :( If there were another Frank Herbert poem on fear, I'd totally do one for the 2nd wizarding war. But, there isn't and I couldn't bring myself to re-use the same poem as a my prompts. A lot of people liked Snape's chapter the most. Though, I think they were all Snape fans. :P

*hugs* don't cry (too much). Have some tea and cake. Chocolate cake. With cherries.

Thank you so much for not just this review but all the reviews you've left on these! I always hope for one of your reviews when I do the review tag. :D

-Rose


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Review #19, by shez Voldemort

2nd December 2013:
Hey there! You requested a review for me back in October and here I am...in December.

Ahem. Anyway. To your Voldy..

So I LOVE Voldy fics. I take a lot of time to find good ones and when I do, I get really excited so I'm really glad you requested this. I think his characterization is spot on (Although the part about him unable to experience happiness. He would perceive it as a weak emotion.) You touch on so many facets of his sociopathic personality: the arrogance, cruel treatment of other (Peter), prejudice, aversiveness to emotions, manipulative tendencies, and then...wait, fear? The dark lord doesn't fear! Oh yes he does and it's a baby! LOVE the ending. I think this chapter, in regard to your last two, is definitely the most poignant and prominent (although all three are fantastic!). Well done! Once again, I have failed to come up with any criticism!

shez :)

Author's Response: Shez!! I haven't gotten a lot of feedback from Voldy fans - so your input here is extremely helpful!

I'm really extremely happy I got him right. It was a bit of a trip down ego lane when I was going through is thought process. A scary trip. o.o

I laughed out loud when I read this "The dark lord doesn't fear! Oh yes he does and it's a baby!" My husband asked if I made someone cry. but then I read your review to him.

This chapter is quite the turning point for the story. Everything past here is darker. Much darker. :D

Thanks for an awesome and helpful review!

-Rose


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Review #20, by 800 words of heaven Remus

1st December 2013:
REVIEW TAG!

Okay, so this is quite obvious, but I chickened out over Sirius. I don't know when I'll work up the courage (is that irony?) to read his Moment of Fear, but that day will come - hopefully tomorrow, when the weather is nice and warm and sunny, so that I can go drown my sorrows after reading his chapter in the deep blue of the sky.

I don't think I've ever commented on this, but the quote at the beginning of the chapter really struck a chord with me. It was just so... Remus. He really is the last one standing, always. Like, the first time, one of his best friends dies, another goes to the dark side, and the other one goes to prison. And then he's also the last of the Marauders to die.

Your first couple of paragraphs paint a really sad picture of Remus. Family means so much to him, and now he's lost all of them, and he has to darn his socks alone at Christmas (which was a strange image, actually. The guy who keeps a Grindylow in his office darns socks in his spare time. Who would have thought?). And I never thought that everyone suspected Remus to be the spy because he was a werewolf. It makes a lot of sense, but since I only remember Sirius ever mentioning that he thought Remus was the spy, I always assumed it was because of some other reason.

That little mention of Remus' father quite eloquently showed how strained their relationship must have been. It must have been difficult growing up knowing the reason that you were the way you were was because of a caustic prejudice your father held. I can imagine that the guilt probably ate up at Lyall, as well.

I laughed out loud when Sirius said that Harry needed to start practising Quidditch. Harry was barely four months old at that point! It was such a Sirius remark!

So I just read the end, and now I'm feeling all melancholy :( Remus' story always breaks my heart, and you chose such a painful period of his life to write about for the end of this project, which sort of fits the overall theme - all very clever, clever! I'm sort of glad I've saved Sirius for last. I didn't know what his fear might have been, which was partly the reason why I didn't want to read it, but now after reading Remus' story, I can guess, and now I'm... I need more time to prepare myself for this. All that aside, this was a seriously awesome ending!

Author's Response: Hello!!!

I can respect needing to read it at the right time and under the right circumstances. Bright sunny day, play some peppy music, chocolate... I could write a Moment of Fear about you reading A Moment of Fear. It would be very meta.

I'm so glad the quote worked for this chapter. It was one of the few that was very Remus-y. :D

I just didn't see post war as a happy time for Remus. I mean, he couldn't celebrate his friends dying or his other good friend becoming a traitor. :( Okay, him knitting is a thing I like. *ahem* It kind of makes sense when you think of how they described his clothes in PoA (patches and whatnot). Knitting seemed like a natural extension of that. I'll have to re-read that part of the book but I could have sworn there was some hint at werewolf-ness in there as a reason. Or I made it up.

As much as I wanted to have Lyall and Remus be bffs, I couldn't justify it. For a few reasons - Remus *never* mentions his parents or his dad and it didn't seem like he lived with them. If he got along with them, it was probably up until his mom died. :(

haha, Sirius did get Harry his first broom. I bet he was hoping for quite the quidditch player.

I hope you had tea and chocolate after reading this part. I did end it in a sad note on purpose. It didn't feel right to go from extreme sad of the war and all the fears I covered from them and somehow end on a happy note.

Thank you so much for this review. You've really made my life happier with it!

-Rose


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Review #21, by True Author Voldemort

30th November 2013:
Here for our Review Swap!

First of all, hats off to you for trying and writing a fic cantering Lord Voldemort. I've tried that a couple of times, but it looks like I can't get under the skin of the wizard. Anyways, you did a really great job with it. =]

I liked the way you described Voldemort's fears from the beginning. It was as if I was in his head all the time, just like Harry used to be. It was similar to the chilly dreams Harry used to have and you caught the effect gracefully.

Ooh, I do believe that Voldemort chose Halloween on purpose! I used to believe it was just a coincidence, but he might have done that on purpose, for the effective deaths.

You did a really great job!

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hi Ashwini!

I was a bit disturbed that I could get under his skin. It's not a nice place to be. I am glad it came out as a good bit of writing though!

Ooh, I never thought about the parallels between this chapter and how Harry is in Voldemort's head. That was probably an influence on how this came out.

I had a hard time explaining how long he waited between hearing the prophecy and doing anything. I needed to put some reasoning behind that date or just his prolonged gap between hearing bad news and taking action.

Thank you so much for an awesome review!
-Rose


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Review #22, by nott theodore Voldemort

30th November 2013:
Hi Rose! I'm sorry that I'm so late with your requested review, but I've snatched my first free moment to fill it for you!

Before I go onto the rest of the review, I'll just point out that it should be Prewett instead of "Prewitt" :)

I actually really like your idea to do a short story collection based on the fears of different characters in the series. I think it gives you the chance to explore emotions and moments that we don't otherwise see in fanfiction and I really like that. From the start I was wondering what, with the character of Voldemort, could possibly be the fear you were going to focus on in this chapter. I thought that his fear was a great idea and it made perfect sense to me to read about him worrying about the prophecy. Only that fear, however much he denied it, could really cause him to seek out and kill a baby because of the potential threat it could pose to him in the future. The fact that he denied it was fear he was feeling made it even more realistic - I can't imagine Voldemort ever admitting to something that he perceived to be a weakness, and you portrayed that very well in this chapter.

As for your concerns about whether Voldemort's too vile to read about, I personally don't think you need to worry. I doubt many people approach a story with Voldemort as the protagonist with expectations to read about a nice or pleasant character, and I actually think it's quite fun sometimes to read about the bad guy and see what motivations he could possibly have for doing what he does. I think you characterised him well in this chapter - something that isn't easy to do - and I believed your version of him completely. His reflections on simple things like the murders and the way that they had been reported in the newspapers were really effective to build up his character and the despicable attitude he has towards death and murder. I liked the contrast between the reported deaths and the beauty he thought of when he remembered them. His thoughts on his servants and even the Order members seemed perfectly in character as well. There was an arrogance that seemed to lace the tone of this piece that suited a story about Voldemort really well, although there were moments when you focused on his fear when that slipped away, and I think that worked well to expose a more vulnerable - but still equally unlikable - side to us.

The quote worked really well too, as far as I'm concerned. It did seem to obliterate him, bit by bit. It works for this chapter as we see him destroyed because he's so set on destroying the one person who poses a threat to him, and also if I think about the series as a whole. Even when he comes back to life, his determination to kill Harry (also presumably through fear at the thought of becoming mortal again) brings him to face his death in creating an enemy. Especially at the end of this chapter I thought that the quote seemed appropriate.

Another great job Rose, and feel free to re-request. I'm sorry again that this took me so long to complete!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Sian! I'm sorry I've taken forever to respond to your amazing review! At first I just liked re-reading it then RL got crazy.

Thanks for pointing out how to spell Prewett. :D I'll fix that. ^_^

I'm really glad you like the short story collection idea. It took me a while to sell myself on the idea. A part of me really enjoyed having Voldemort's fear come from such a benign source. The unknown and curious matter of fortune telling might have been laughed off by others but the fact that the possibility of an equal who would be his foe existed - it was just too much for him. Trying to have him fear without seeing that it's fear was a bit hard so it means alot to hear that it was portrayed well.

I suppose you're right. A pleasant Voldemort would be quite AU or off-putting to read. I thought he came to me too easily to be done well. Which is now a bit frightening that he came to me so easily. :P Coming up with his reactions to the murders was a like taking a trip to opposite-land. I'm not sure you could have said nicer things about how I wrote Voldemort. I mean, really. *hugs* I keep reading that part of your review and each time feel my mood perk up a bit.


This quote/character combo was the first that I thought was a shoo-in for matching the narrative context. I never thought about how the quote is still applicable after his reincarnation - quite the brilliant insight!!

Thank you so! SO!! SO! much for an amazing review. You should charge money for your review. ^_^

-Rose


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Review #23, by Courtney Dark Voldemort

30th November 2013:
Hey there!

Wow, this was a really interesting chapter! I don't think I have ever read anything from Voldemort's point of view - at least not while he is an adult. i may have read a Tom Riddle one-shot or two...

Anyway, I've read stories from various Death Eater's points of view during the two wars, but none from Voldemort's, and I really think you did him justice - I can imagine that he would be an incredibly hard character to write.

I loved how you began this chapter, with Voldemort reflecting on all the murders. It was creepy and sinister, but definitely in character! And I love how he saw them as works of art, rather an unspeakable devastation, like the paper put it. I especially liked his comment about pairing Bellatrix and Greyback together, because that just felt like such a Voldemort comment to make!

I liked the flashback scene too, particularly the line: 'The information did not matter. The Dark Lord knew he’d get the information eventually. It was the pain that mattered.' For me, that line just kinda sums up Voldemort completely.

I love the way you describe Voldemort's fear - so different from the fears of Lily and James before him. Before I started reading this chapter, I had to admit, I thought you were going to go waaay out of character, because Voldemort just does not seem the type of person to have fears, apart from his whole 'I'm going to live forever' complex. But (I don't really know how to explain this) you just wrote it perfectly - not too much, not too little. And because he felt fear, he had to destroy it. Such a Voldemort attitude!

I also loved the last section. Though it was small, it summed up Voldemort's fear of dying and wish to live forever perfectly!

I really enjoyed this chapter! Nice work! Sorry if I rambled on a bit!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hi Courtney!!

I've sat down to respond to you at least three times. Each time I get all caught up in squee. I'll power through the squee this time.

This was my first time writing Voldemort - it was nerve-racking!

The beginning of the chapter scared me to write. Mainly because I didn't have to dig very deep to think of those examples or his reaction. It was kind of like writing from opposite land.

Ooh, I'm glad you liked that line. :D I thought that one would carry a lot of creepy punch.

This part is definitely a turning point for the way the story goes. THe first two were not scary just a little dark. This goes way darker and scarier. ^_^ The parts afer this follow the same pattern.

I could see how, after the first two fears, it would seem OOC for Voldemort to have as common of fear as James and Lily. I'm thrilled you liked how his fear unrolled. :D

I had a hard time with the last section. I didn't want to just re-write a scene from the book but I had to show his soul framenting.

Thank you so much for this review! I loved it so much!!

-Rose


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Review #24, by lindslo2012 James

29th November 2013:
Rose,
I am here for the review tag!
This made me want to tear up.
This is the first fic that I have read talking about how James felt before Harry was born.. I absolutely love it and you wrote very well how alot of men probably feel before they have their first child.
The saddest part of it is that James isn't even really going to get to be around when Harry is growing up and that tugs at my heart strings even more :(
I wonder what HP would have been like if James and Lily didn't have to die but I know JK wrote her books the way she did for a reason ;)
Either way this was an amazing chapter and I will read on. You are such a talented writer as I have said before and I barely see any grammar mistakes or anything that I could comment on! If you ever have time swing by and read my new Draco/OC and tell me how you like it because you give AMAZING reviews! You are also a great beta. I hope you are doing well!
Talk to you soon! :)
-Linds

Author's Response: Thanks so much for a nice review, Linds! I was aiming for sweet/sad in this chapter so I'm glad it hit that mark. I do think there's a lot of automatic sadness because people know James will never get to raise his son. I don't think HP would have been the same at all, they probably wouldn't exist without James and Lily's deaths.
-Rose


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Review #25, by marauderfan Remus

27th November 2013:
Hi Rose! Here with your review!

So when clicked on this chapter and read just the opening quote, I thought how perfectly it suited Remus, who I think was a pretty lonely person after the first war. So, great choice of character for the final quote.

I really liked the way you wrote this chapter, contrasting the fun yet fear-filled previous Christmas while Remus and Sirius entertain Harry (loved the jokes about James being domesticated, btw) and the present Christmas when Remus is sitting in his cold house alone.

I think the part at the end is really fitting too, how it must have been hard to convince James to go into hiding. Ugh I just want to tell Remus it will all be okay in 12 years and Sirius didn't do it!

Anyway, I think the fear you've captured is really intense too - though for Remus it's not a fear of something that might happen, it's a fear of something that is already happening. He's afraid of loneliness, now that he's all alone and his best friends died in the war. And the last sentence just gave me all the feels, when he says that despite the feeling of living in terror all the time, it was a better alternative because he had friends then. Aww! Remus's story is such a sad one and I think you did a remarkable job portraying it.

I think it ties the plot arch together really well too. All of the stories go in chronological order and from different POV's and I think that's a really creative way to tell the story. You did so wonderfully with this story and I'm so glad I got to read it!

Kristin

Author's Response: Kristin!!!

When I started planning this fic, there were only a few people that were instantly tied to a quote for me and Remus was one of them. :D

The contrast between the Christmases was incredibly sad for me to write. I debated for a while what would be the best way to communicate that he lost everything and everyone he loved. I liked the double whammy of Christmas and the contrast. It was fun to write about Sirius and Remus joking and trying to entertain Harry.

I also wanted to snuggle Remus and let him know everything would be alright. *cough* It's just so sad he had to live through this period of lonliness.

Ah, yes! The last sentence has been interpretted the other way by so many people that I was worried it was written poorly. I meant it how you read it (where he'd want to get his friends back even if it meant the world was at war again). I suppose it could be open for interpration though.

I'm so glad you liked how the various stories pulled together to form a larger meta story.

Thank you so much for reviewing this and the other parts. I've enjoyed reading your insight and feedback throughout this!

-Rose


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