Reading Reviews for Impressive Vroom
23 Reviews Found

Review #1, by merlins beard Fit to Fly

22nd August 2015:
Hey Rose,
I hope you’re enjoying this because I’m not done yet. Feel free to not reply to them (I know it’s a big task).
I appreciate the parallels between James and Harry, being knocked over by the knight bus. At least there’s a fail-safe way for young wizards to get home if they need to.
what the bits of digits were after the professor explained muggles often exchanged them as part of a courting ritual. THIS is pure brilliance! it made me laugh way too much! OHH and then the Muggle gives them HER number… Oh my god this is so funny.
Oh the poor old muggle… I’m not sure this was all that good for his health, seeing a teenager ride his ancient motorbike.
SO THAT’S THE REASON Sirius got his own flat. Now I get that. Of course he needed space to work on his bike without any adults knowing about it.
I’m just as surprised as the boys seem to be that the bike flew at the first attempt of a flying charm. Visiting Remus seems like a good idea.
And not letting James fly the bike seems like an EXCELLENT idea.
I’m having so much fun reviewing all these stories.
I’ll just head to the next one now.


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Review #2, by Shadowkat Fit to Fly

4th July 2015:
Hey, once again here for BvB!

Why on earth haven't I seen a fic about Sirius getting his motorcycle before? Honestly, with as much as I read you'd think I'd have come across one before now! I love it!

Honestly, I've never been much of a adrenaline junkie, but ever since I was a kid I've wanted to try and riride one of those monsters. That and fly, preferably with wings because I wouldn't trust much else to keep me up. (Funny thing, I'm scared of heights.) Combining both is stupid, reckless, and absolutely, absurdly, brilliant. Man, if it was real I might finally pluck up the courage to get in the air.

You can really feel the friendship between the two here, and that's another thing I like. It's a memory they both need, considering what all will happen. It also makes it so sad how he just gave up his bike to Hagrid. It's funny here, but thinking about all that bike will be tangled up into...gah. I know, leave it to me to come up with depressing connections. :/

Anyway, amazing story!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for an awesome review!! I do like adrenaline but not motorcycles (but if there was a flying one, I'd be on it asap). It's really great to hear that their friendship shone through in this story. It was 100% a friendship fic.


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Review #3, by ANightingaleInAGoldenCage Fit to Fly

20th June 2015:
Reviewing for House Cup 2015- Ravenclaw

'Because he was too macho to be hugging him from behind' now this line made me laugh and hard too. I really find the image of James sitting in a sidecare quite hilarious, and the reason for it made it even better for me. It's really a great story and the way Sirius became entranced by it, made it even more fun. I really wonder what the reactions of James' parents would've been to the motorcycle and I'm quite sad that you didn't quite include that, but even then, the other reactions they had, as few as they were, were quite fun to read and it makes me forever sad that we don't know more about them. I also love the added details of the screaming, the mentions of Lily and what James had done to her, and the idea of going to Moony. It really captures them well, if you ask me, and it makes the story all the more fun to read.

Great job!

Author's Response: I'm so glad this made you laugh. :D The challenge this was written for was meant to have humor. I honestly didn't have enough of the Potters down in my head to include their reactions and wanted to get this done instead of mulling over them enough to get them in. Anyway, I'm really glad you enjoyed the bits I did get in!

thanks so much!

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Review #4, by Dr.Evil III Fit to Fly

27th May 2015:
Well, I've read a story about a Myrtle girl and a romance with a nagging woman and now a flying bike.

Number-two, I want this curls under my care. Mini Me III likes her stories for bed time.

Don't question my desires!

Mini Me is sleeping soundly right now purring slightly or maybe that's the cat.

These Sirius and James boys sound positively like riffraff. Not caring if the law catches them and willing to bend the rules for a little amusement.

Sounds positively evil.

They don't know how to use a phone! Well, these magical folk sound like they're lacking in fundamental sources. It'll be easy to take over their world and be their leader. My first course of business. Phones for everyone! With no instructions. It'll ring and ring and make them go crazy.

How positively evil!

That Mrs. Potter reminded me of my mother because she met her untimely death. Yes, Mother was warm and loving and always let her little evil cause a ruckus.

I might have to invest in a flying motorcycle. Then again who says I don't have one already?

They do know that's what spaceships and other contraptions are for.

Really, taking over the Wizards is going to be like taking candy from a baby.


Author's Response: My, my... You're definitely taking a turn towards evil here. I guess staying the course is more like it but still. You'll have to do something about their wands before taking over the wizarding world, just a friendly tip.


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Review #5, by Freda_and_Georgina Fit to Fly

21st July 2014:
Hi! Instead of going to bed, I randomly decided to pop over and read this. :)
The opening line about the weather is great. "That was bedore the rain, mud and getting lost" :) I wonder i fthey know about the Knight Bus?

LOL! I loved when Mrs. Potter answered them unexpectedly, that was great! That was my favorite. And just how she treated the whole thing as 'business as usual'. I see now why James got away with so much!
Wow, the waitress gave them her number? She does not know what she's getting into. :) I love how hard it is to figure out "step 1, open the door".

I'm glad the muggle tried to teach him. "before the shed". The muggle had him pay up front right? ;)
of course it "seems like a cool idea" heehee. Huh! I wonder why he didn't get any notification for the magic use; especially at the muggle place!

Great story! You write Humor very well. :)


Author's Response: Hi Freda!!

Thanks so much for coming by to review!! It's so nice to get unexpected reviews!!

They *know* about the Knight Bus but they were looking to explore and have fun - it just didn't go as planned.

I'm glad you liked the chill Mrs. Potter answering. James did get away with a lot growing up. I like to think of his parents as uber laid back.

Phone booths are confusing. I guess the waitress will learn about giving her number to good looking guys.

haha, I don't think the muggle got money upfront. My theory about the magic detection was that the muggle was close enough to magical areas that it didn't pop up as suspicious. It's like Ron said "they can detect where/when magic is performed but not who cast the spell."

I'm thrilled you liked this and that it was funny! I didn't get a lot of laughs from the person who set the challenge but at least others have enjoyed it. Thank you so much for the lovely review!


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Review #6, by Hogwarts27 Fit to Fly

19th May 2014:
Hi, what a fun little story this was to read! The humor was just right. I laughed, and chuckled, and smiled through the whole thing.

Sirius and James were in character, and their little adventure was adorable. Very well-written too, with great descriptive writing, nice imagery that definitely added a lot to the story. If this had another chapter, I would gladly have read more! Terrific one-shot!

Author's Response: Hi!!

Getting a review on this was quite a treat - thank you!!!

I'm so happy this hit the right humor notes. I'm not very good at slapstick humor but wanted to try something that was more of a situation-based and witty humor.

It's so exciting to hear that you liked their adventure and characterization. I think I might explode now. :D I was working on imagery for this so it's great that it paid off. I have a few other one-shots and short stories from this era but don't have anything that's longer and weaved together in one plot.

Thank you so very much for such a fantastic review!


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Review #7, by MEW Fit to Fly

15th February 2014:
I was sitting in the living room with my mum and sister who are also reading, and it was really hard for my to stay quiet. I really enjoyed reading this!

Author's Response: Hello!! I'm so happy you enjoyed reading this and that it made you laugh!! Thank you so much for reviewing!

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Review #8, by kenpo Fit to Fly

26th January 2014:
Okay I haven't even started reading, but based on the story summary and chapter summary... this review will just be me fangirling over you and fangirling over Sirius.

Huh. If I had a dollar for every time I went to London and it rained, I'd have a dollar (I've been twice, not counting the airport). Then I'd go exchange it for a pound and realise that you can't buy anything in London for a pound.

Hah. Silly Sirius, no map is as good as your map.

Cute-muggle vibes. Sigh.

The fact that he doesn't want to break the Potters' rules is really great for characterisation. I feel bad for him. From what I understand, the Potters welcomed him but he still feels like a guest. :(

Hah. James thought it was the price. Silly wizards.

Hah. Courting ritual. And she gave them her number. Of course. I would!

Awww, Sirius is so dumb. I love his interactions with James, and then riding the bike. He's such a guy. Oh, I don't need to learn how to ride before I go on.

No, broomsticks lack the vroom. I can see how that would be frustrating.


They way the guys interact is so nice, but makes me sad knowing their future. I like that you mentioned Lily without makes James totally obsessed with her. And I liked the mention that Remus could use some entertainment. They're good friends.

Pppssshhh, James, who are you taking on dates?

This was so cute. I love reading about when they were happy... it always ends up making me sad, but that's okay. For now, they're happy so I'll be happy, too.

I thought this was very well written. You use enough description to give a good sense of setting, but not so much that it ever got to be drowning in adjectives.

I keep waiting to not like something that you write, but I don't think that'll ever happen.

Author's Response: Um, I can't blame you for going fangirl over Sirius - that's essentially what this story was for me. :D

I've never been to London but I've heard the weather is similar to Seattle (which it doesn't really rain all the time there but, you know, going off stereotypes).

Sirius is a bit spoiled when it comes to handy maps.

He's trying to find you!! :D

I think Sirius would be weary of overstepping his bounds because he really doesn't have a context for understanding unconditional acceptance. He knows that he's welcome there and has been treated like one of the family but it's hard for him to get used to that. So, he's cordial and guest-like.

James did not get an O in Muggle Studdies...

Who wouldn't try to partake in a courtin ritual with Sirius? :P

In the bike scene it is quite a "boys are dumb" bit. Learning is optional when you're Sirius Black! :D

I'm glad you liked their bromance and that Lily wasn't the center of their world! I do feel bad that Peter didn't come up but I decided that I could live with that for this story.

James has aspirations of going on dates with Lily.

I'm able to think of them happy and forget that they died oh so young. I'm really glad the descriptions were enough but not too much!

Uh, if you read my longer stories you'll find bits you don't like (there are two or three parts that everyone hates). I hope you never hate anything entirely though!

Thank you so much for a fantastic review!!


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Review #9, by ReeBee Fit to Fly

30th December 2013:
That was such a funny story!! Oh, hello Rose! Surprise review!! Late Christmas present? Early New Years?

I loved the characterisation!!! And the bromance! Haven't read a good one in ages!! Yay Rose!! :D

And the dialogue was positively hilarious!!! :D so natural and I could imagine it in my head!! If anything, u made me love one of my favourite characters, James, even more! So so sweet!!

And the idea! How on earth did u come up with it?!!! Perfect!! I loved it!! :D

Another amazing one shot!! Can't wait for more!! :


Author's Response: Hi Curie!!

Thank you so much for a wonderful Christmas present!!

^_^ This is one of my few fluffy pieces - good choice. :D Having their bromance take center stage was quite a fun bit of friendship to write about.

I'm really glad you liked the dialouge between them. Their humor and jabs came really naturally to me for this story.

I don't remember what inspired this story. I mean, part of it was just thinking through potentially funny situations in the HP world.

Thank you so much for a delightful review! I am always thrilled when you review one of my stories.


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Review #10, by Rumpelstiltskin Fit to Fly

23rd December 2013:
Sirius and James up to a bit of misadventure? Why does that not surprise me ;)?

*Cough* It figures that Sirius would get them lost in a sketchy place where there were men selling herbs... Aha! The birth of the flying motorcycle interest!

Oh gods...Mrs. Potter's little input to the sneaking in conversation killed me :D. Way to get caught boys. Mrs. P is pretty cool, isn't she?

Courting ritual? Sure, why not? That brings up a long-time question I've had: how effectively taught have the Muggle Studies courses been at Hogwarts :D. Given Dumbledore's choice of DADA professors, I'm going to go with not so well.

So while I was still laughing at Sirius' "the courting ritual does work" comment, I read on to find the "Do we have to break the glass? That doesn’t seem practical" comment and ended up in a fit. -_- I don't think that there is a story of yours that I have read that has NOT made everybody around me question my sanity :).

*Facepalm* No Sirius, riding a broomstick does NOT mean that you can necessarily ride a motorcycle.


Told ya.

Causing it to fly already? -_- Sirius needs some good shaking...back into the realm of common sense. YET...haven't been hauled in YET... Man...I'm tellin' ya.

Holy crows this was funny :D. I loved Sirius and James in it! Well, that was a switch from pretty much EVERYTHING else I've read of yours ;)...except maybe Nomenclature. AND you still brought that little piece of irony that at Sirius' expense (I would think that your cats were writing this, instead, if you didn't :p). I'm all giddy :D.


Author's Response: Rumpel!!

What, did you expect them to have a walk in the park holding hands? Well, maybe you did. :P

People sell herbs all over large cities. :D The birth of an obsession - as witnessed here.

Mrs. P is pretty cool. I thought she'd have to be to deal with James.

Uh, yeah, I'm pretty much amazed those kids learn anything at Hogwarts. :P

I live to make you look ridiculous while you read. ;) It's a skill that I've put on my resume.

Well, he's just going to give it a try


and fail.

He doesn't need a good shaking! He needs encouragement and help. haha, I wasn't even thinking with my irony cap when I wrote that. :P It just oozes out sometimes.

It was my first funny-fic. At least where it was mostly funny. I'm not sure my cats know about typing. :P

Thank you for an awesome review! I'm glad I got you to be giddy! :D


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Review #11, by handknittedsweaters Fit to Fly

14th December 2013:
I really liked your reference of "herbs in a bag" and yes, this did make me laugh :)


Author's Response: Hello!!!

Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm glad you caught the reference with the herbs. :D I wasn't sure if people were getting that or if it was just too low-brow. Awesome to hear it made you laugh!

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Review #12, by 800 words of heaven Fit to Fly

4th December 2013:

Oh, this had me smiling like a lunatic! It was such a perfect read after finishing A Moment of Fear. I'm so happy about it, I'm still grinning!

I think my favourite part (as always) was that James and Sirius are just such bros! Their bro-ness is so adorable! I love how they clearly love and care about each other so much, but they're still trying to be all cool and macho about everything!

I also liked that you only touched on Sirius' family problems. They were mentioned in such a way that it was more a part of his life than a giant issue that required constant attention. I think that's sort of the way he treated his family, so that added a nice dimension to his character.

OMG James' parents are so cool! If I'd ever rocked up wet and covered in mud, my parents' reaction would have been more similar to that of Sirius' parents, rather than James'!

As always, this was such a wonderful read! I need to find new cool adjectives to describe your writing, though - I always say the same thing!

Author's Response: Yay for coming out of the Litany blues. :D I'm super happy I got you to grin. :D

Sirius and James' bromance is incredibly fun to write. I couldn't see them dropping their macho demeanors - at least now while they're at school. Even when they're vulnerable, they have a bit of the male ego to hide behind.

I guess mentioning Sirius' family issues just in passing was my way of having him treat his problems like I do at times (people know about them but it's not the focal point for life). ^_^

James' parents are much more chill than mine ever were. My parents would have been between the Potter and Black family if I trudged in covered in mud. wait, I think I *did* that a few times actually. *cough* I guess it's not that big of a deal when you live in a rainy state.

^_^ I love your use of adjectives to describe my stories.

Thank you for another spectacular review!!


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Review #13, by maraudertimes Fit to Fly

16th November 2013:
So so sorry for the delay.

Okay, I think this is wonderful and truly captures the essence of the marauders (well, of James and Sirius at least) - carefree teenage boys.

I think it was very cool how you based it on the origin of something we know to be true, and I find the entire story just riveting and exciting.

You did a really great job with this and I really liked everything, from your characterizations to your dialogue to the mood... Everything.

Great job!
Lo :)

Author's Response: Hi Lo!!

I'm sorry it took me so long to respond! (it feels like a long time anyway)

You couldn't have paid me a higher compliment with this capturing the spirit of the marauders. :D This was my very first Marauder centric story.

Sirius' motorcycle is fascinating to me. It seemed like such a good opportunity for mishap and hilarity. I'm really glad you found it exciting!!!

*blush* Thank you so much for such high praise!!!


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Review #14, by MC_HK Fit to Fly

19th October 2013:
Admittedly, I didn't laugh out loud, but I did find this to be funny and cute. I like the interactions with James and Sirius, and thought that it seemed very spot on for their character.

I did find a few grammar issues, and stuff that probably got overlooked during editing that should be fixed, and a quick read through would help you spot them all.

Some CC: So at the beginning you already state that the boys are lost, but then restate that when you have James say, "We're lost, mate." I just think that's a little repetitive and you could probably take out the bit where James says they're lost.

“Everything alright?” the muggle asked panting. “I guess the engine startled those clucking nuisances.” The muggle was looking around as if expecting to see evidence of a crash. His eyes did not detect anything out of place so he decided he had indeed imagined the crashing noise. -- Okay so with this, I think the muggle's second quote should be put after he inspects the damage. I don't think he'd say that before noticing that everything was okay.

Other than that, this was enjoyable!


Author's Response: Hi Mon!

Now I feel guilt for being so late with your review... I'm getting to it this week!! I pinky swear.

I'm glad I at least managed humor even if I didn't get any lol's. Even better, I'm glad that the characterizations seemed in line. :D

I'll take a read through to catch the grammar stuff I have to fix. ^_^ Thanks for pointing those out. I really like your tips on the repetitive section and the order in which hte muggle bloke goes through is inspection of the yard.

I'm really glad you enjoyed this!! Thank you so much for such a helpful review!!

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Review #15, by Cannons Fit to Fly

13th October 2013:
Hi toomanycurls doing the review tag!

I choose this one I hope you don't mind and I really enjoyed it. It was nice to read something that was just funny and light (you get what I mean!) for once and know nobody was going to die, although I had my doubts when they were trying out the motorbike ;)

Since you wrote this expecting lols, I'll tell you the two bits I laughed at or found particularly amusing, the first bit was

' What are you, 80? James asked critically. Next you'll be knitting me a scarf '

the next one was

When they got their check, there were also numbers on the back. She gave us her number, Sirius said grinning. This courting ritual does work.

and the other bit was when Sirius was being cocky about knowing how to drive it and crashed.

I loved the way you wrote Sirius, especially about how he was so respectful of James' parents.

So yeah, it was funny the image of Sirius knitting James a scarf at 1 in the morning was to much for me :D

Author's Response: Hi Cannons!!

Thanks so much for reviewing this story! I'm glad you found it funny and light where no one died. I guess a lot of people die in FF.

I loved hearing where you got your laughs in this (and that I gave you lasting giggles about Sirius knitting into the night). I write a lot about blokes knitting.

The courting ritual was probably one of my funnier ideas (if I do say so myself). Haha, I got a kick out of writing Sirius going from 'I can do this' to 'ah, I'm going to crash!'

I love your review - thanks so much!

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Review #16, by academica Fit to Fly

12th October 2013:
Hello, here with your requested review! I do want to apologize for the delay--I had a major thesis deadline last week and no time for HPFF. Anyway, I'm here now, and I appreciate your patience!

I confess that I didn't laugh out loud while reading this story, but it was definitely cute and humorous in a heartwarming sort of way. I liked how Sirius kept pushing the envelope and leading James around on the crazy adventure that led to his ownership of the famous flying bike. The little details were also funny, like the comment about the Muggle girl giving them her number being part of a "courting ritual."

One thing that threw me off a little was James's characterization. He seemed like he tried to subdue Sirius at nearly every turn by reminding him of the rules and being concerned that he wasn't being careful enough. On the one hand, it's nice to see a take on James that doesn't involve him and Sirius being like twin brothers. On the other hand, it seems like what we know of young James from canon suggests a less restricted, slightly more reckless individual. Perhaps this event marks his maturity and growth into an eventual Head Boy. It just would have been nice to get more of a clear sense about why you chose to portray James in this reserved way.

I didn't really notice any grammar/readability issues, and the flow of the piece seemed fine. Overall, this is nice work, especially for your first attempt at a humorous plot.

Thanks for requesting, and I hope this is helpful!


Author's Response: Hi Amanda!! Hope your thesis work went well.

I guess if I didn't make you laugh out loud, giving off cute and humorous vibes is a close second for me. I'm glad you liked how I had Sirius pushing the line. The muggle courting ritual was my favorite bit to throw in - I'm glad my oddball idea for that worked for you.

Hmm, you make a good point about the way I wrote James. I do think he's reckless but perhaps a little more concerned about not going to jail. I suppose it came down to not wanting two completely reckless people to write. I think they both cared about following the rules in different ways - Sirius wanted to be respectful of the rules at the Potter residence where James wanted to avoid a stint in Azkaban for underage magic (and probably didn't want to be flattened by the muggle contraption of a motorcycle). I'll have a good think over how I could write in an explanation for his reserved behavior.

Thank you so much for this review. I found it to be very helpful between your honesty about the humor, characterization, and that I didn't have any readability boff ups. It's great to get such well-rounded feedback!!

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Review #17, by LittleLionGirl Fit to Fly

9th October 2013:
This did actually make me chuckle a bit. Your characters were spot on and this was a job well done. I liked the interesting bike history- everyone tells that all a bit differently but your story was one I will not forget anytime soon!
Ten years is a long time to write and read- and I see you have put that knowledge to good use. Whatever it is you have been doing- keep it up!

Author's Response: Hi LLG! Thank you so much for doing a review swap. I'm really pleased you got a few laughs out of this. It's awesome that my characterizations seemed realistic to you! It's great that my version of the motorcycle back story will stick with you. That's a huge compliment.

(Is that a nice way of calling me old? :-P) ten years has gone by fast. Thank you so much for this awesome review!!

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Review #18, by marauderfan Fit to Fly

7th October 2013:
Hi there! I'm here with your requested review. (And I'm really glad I got to read this one - we were competing in the same challenge together so it's fun to see some of the other fics for the challenge.) I loved this little story!

Your characterisation of James and Sirius is spot on. Sirius being impulsive, James trying to be responsible but having fun at the same time... The dialogue between them was really well written. It's easy to tell when reading it that they've been best friends for years - their friendship came across really well. Basically, this is exactly what I'd expect for the two of them, so great job writing them!

Also I have to say that I loved James' mum in this! SO perfect. She is really cool. (I think she'd have to be, after raising James - she just accepts that he's going to get himself into mischief every now and then haha!) That part absolutely made me laugh.

The one readability issue was just a verb tense thing: They put the flying button in a place that wouldn’t accidentally get pushed.
I think that should start with "They had put" - as it is now, it sounds like they're installing the button at that part in the story, when really it happened earlier.

For never having written funny before, you did great! This piece has a very whimsical tone and I was smiling the whole time as I read it. I think it's more of a realistic-funny than an outlandish/LOLOLOL-funny. (I didn't really make sense there, did I?) What I mean is that the type of humour you used was a good fit for this story you told. It was both entertaining and believable.

This was a great read, I absolutely loved it. Thanks for requesting :)

Author's Response: Hi!! Thank you so much for doing this review! I am thrilled to hear that you loved it (really, really thrilled especially as your username kind of indicates an affinity for the marauders).

I was so nervous about writing James and Sirius - I am relieved that they came across like you'd expect and that I captured their friendship.

Mrs. Potter was a ton of fun to write. I agree - she had to be kind of cool and relaxed to have a son like James. She just kind of went with it.

Ooh, thanks for pointing out that readability issue. I'll be sure to fix it.

Oddly enough, I got exactly what you meant ^_^. I did write this the same way I'd tell a funny story to a friend (but that's usually in person not a written out narrative). And it's great to hear that the humor I used worked for the story. I didn't quite hit the "be ridiculous" mark that the challenge asked for (oh well).

Thank you so much for this review! It was very helpful and encouraging!!

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Review #19, by Pixileanin Fit to Fly

4th October 2013:
You did! You made me laugh quite a few times. This was so light and funny, and just precious with these boys. I loved how you were able to maintain a light tone and still have the characters wholly themselves. Mrs. Potter was way cool, like a lot of us imagine her to be, and I thought that Sirius' concerns about upsetting her were well brought to the situation.

The light banter between the boys felt real and natural. I was waiting for Sirius to get caught with using underage magic, but I suppose that sometimes the little things fall under the radar. It wasn't like he blew up a muggle and let them float into the sky above the houses or anything monumental like that. ;)

The best thing about this piece was how you managed to capture the thrill that James and Sirius felt while riding the bike through the air. There's nothing quite like wind against your face and a feeling like you're on top of the world. I felt it along with them in that section.

I don't have any crit for this. I think you succeeded very well with what you set out to do. It flowed well, the characters lived through your words, and I was highly entertained!

Author's Response: Hi!! Your review really made me feel great about this story. I'm so glad the characters seemed to be themselves and that you liked Mrs. Potter.

I debated on whether they'd get caught for underage magic. I kind of based their not getting noticed off something Ron said about underage magic being left to parents to monitor for people in wizarding families. It sounded like most of the time the ministry couldn't quite tell who did something.

Wow, I'm really flattered that you felt their excitement while riding was palpable and that they came to life to you during this story.

Thank you so much for this review. It was really nice reading your insight on the fic.

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Review #20, by Haronione Fit to Fly

2nd October 2013:
Hi toomanycurls :)

I really liked this little one-shot, it was a very easy and enjoyable read :D It was light and amusing, without being over-the-top with the humour, it was just what I needed after a long day at work!

I really liked your characterisation of James and Sirius, they were great! The dialogue between them was really good and I could really see them being the way they were together in this. I was going to quote parts of their banter that i thought was particularly good, but i don't think it would all fit in the review ;) I also really liked the characterisation of Mrs. Potter. I think that James's parents would have to be quite tolerant of his antics. Having Mrs. Potter pop up from behind the hedge just as they were discussing excuses was a great touch in this. Very comical :) Also, from this section, I loved that Sirius was so respectful of the Potters (or at least wanting to appear so!) I think this is a very good portrayal of Sirius's relationship with the Potters.

Ok, so I saw a few errors in this. I'll mention them in the order they featured. You described the Knight bus as a purple double decker bus but it is triple decker - a small thing but I'm a stickler for canon details ;) A couple of times you put 'waived her/his wand', this should be waved. In this line - 'Evidentially the numbers also were useful for buying and selling...' - I feel it would read better as 'were also' (again a small thing but it stood out to me) There were a couple of times there were words missing or there when they shouldn't be, I won't list them here as I think another read through would highlight them :)

Enough of the CC, now I shall tell you about the parts I loved :) As I already said, I loved the characterisation in this and I felt the interactions were fantastic :) One of my favourite parts was when they are looking through the ads and wondering how to get a phone - this line really made me chuckle 'What if they thought the two blokes were trying to start a courting ritual with them?' Fantastic! I just loved the whole 'courting ritual' thing :D Another line I loved was 'I can fly a broomstick and I once rode a bicycle. This shouldn't be much harder than that.' I could really see Sirius thinking like that :) Another thing that had me giggling was the comment about not trying to make a broomstick, haha, could actually see a comment like that giving them ideas! So, this is not an exhaustive list of the parts I loved, but I thought it best not to quote the whole fic ;)

This was a great read, it was well written and flowed really well. Great job! Good luck with the challenge :)

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Hi Haronione!!

Thank you so much for an incredible review!! I'm so glad you really liked my characterizations!! I've never written James or Sirius as teenager so I'm glad I tapped them well. It makes me so, so glad you liked their banter too. ahaha, I got such giggles writing Mrs. Potter 'catching' Sirius and James sneaking in. HP canon stuff says the Potters were older when James was born. I'm sure they were crazy permissive with him.

:-o thank you for the CC - I've made those changes. ^_^ Thanks for pointing those out.

^_^ The muggle courting ritual came at me out of nowhere. I'm really glad it's as funny to other people as it was to me. Your line about not quoting the entire fic made me grin - a lot. ^_^

I really, really enjoyed your review.


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Review #21, by bri_5_stars Fit to Fly

1st October 2013:
I liked this story. The boys bickering and trying to figure out muggle stuff was pretty funny. Like how they got a phone number while asking for a phone. lol. Good job!
brithewriter from the challenge, I'll be posting results soon. Good luck! :D

Author's Response: Thanks so much for posting such a fun challenge and for leaving a review. I don't think I got to wacky like your prompt asked for.

I can't wait to see where everyone landed!!

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Review #22, by bellatrixlestrange123 Fit to Fly

30th September 2013:
I'm so sorry this took a while but my day was so busy I only just got the chance. Anywho, I picked this story quite frankly because the summery caught my eye and I'm glad I did! It was a very lighthearted, humorous one shot and i'll admit, it did make me giggle so all in all it was sort of exactly what I needed after a very busy day.

I loved how you made James and Sirius so curious and unprompted. Their impulsiveness was what made the story so quirky and fresh. I think Sirius' inquisitiveness and fascination with motorcycles and somethings muggle was a really true depiction of what I always imagined Sirius to be like!

I'll definitely be looking at your other works after reading this! well done! :)

Author's Response: I'm so glad you picked this one. I just published it last night and I'm really excited to get feedback on it. I'm thrilled it made you laugh - that was my aim with this fic. ^_^

I haven't written James and Sirius at teenagers - it really made me happy to hear that you liked them and thought they were realistic. "Quirky and fresh" that's pretty awesome.

!!! I hope you enjoy other stories I've written if you poke around. If you're a fan of Sirius, Epitaph of a Good Man and How I Killed My Lover have quite a bit of him in there (they're Tonks/Remus fics though).

Thank you so much for an amazing review.

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Review #23, by BLONDEbehaviour Fit to Fly

30th September 2013:
Haha! I loved this!

I think you have done a great job with making it amusing, especially with the 'courting process' of the telephone, and the use of the telephone box! Really well thought-up!

And I loved Mrs.Potter, she was a neat character!

You've one a great job with depicting this scene, and I think you've done an awesome job with humour! Have me laughing a giggling throughout :)


Author's Response: Grace!!! Thank you so much for reviewing this!! I'm so glad you found them funny. The courting ritual was just an idea that popped into my head when writing this. It kind of supported my Sirius is a flirt ideals.

You really made my morning. I loved reading this review. Thank you so much!!

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