Reading Reviews for Into Oblivion
  
13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Remus Into Oblivion

4th January 2014:
Heya! Perelandra here from the forums! Sorry for taking a while to get here and give you your review but life, you know. However, I'm here to give you what you asked for! :)

I have to be completely honest here, I was a bit hesitant to read this. Lily and Remus is not a pairing I dwell into. Sirius and Lily, maybe, but Remus? O.o However, I gave it a chance.

I'm not entirely a fan but I liked your story and take nonetheless. Lily was not the Lily I'm used to reading. She's more, mean? Horrible? Cruel? I can't think of the proper word to describe her! Detached? Full of flaws? Help me? Hahaha!

I couldn't help but to feel mad at her! She toyed with Remus's emotions and if James had found out that these two had been an "item" he would've 1) backed off 2) not have dated Lily. He's his friend, his brother, and James would never hurt Remus like that. Haha see what you've done there? Haha, got me all riled up!

I couldn't be mad at James here, he didn't know any better, but Lily...

I absolutely loved the whole "stabbing" thing. That was beautifully handled. I think, in the whole story, my favorite line is:

All this time with Lily. All this time she must have known that James the one, not him. He will fade into oblivion. Instead of Lily being a phase of James's, he is a phase of hers.

Speaking of that line, you missed the word "was" after James. You have a few grammar issues but it wasn't too big of a deal. A few read through will fix those up. Everyone's guilty of those! XD

I liked that line a lot because it shows that love is painful, and can sometimes deceive you into thinking things that are not true. Perhaps Remus put Lily on this pedestal and sort of worshiped her until his world came crumbling down.

Overall this was a great fic.

My CC on it would be the grammar and typo issues that you have around the story.

Thank you for letting me read this!!

--Rosie

Author's Response: Hi Rosie! I have to admit I was a bit worried about giving this one-shot to you because I know some people are a bit torn about Remus and Lily and whether they like it or not, but in the end I had to give in because all my other one-shots had a ton of feedback and this one didn't have as much, so it's great to hear that you liked it though!

Bahaha, I think that's the reason why I had a little too much fun writing this story because exploring the more 'evil' side to Lily was a definite change to the usual side to her, but then trying to figure out how to make her like that but believable was rather fun again.

I know what you mean about James, because deep down he would have done the right thing and stood back but Remus was too much of a good friend to break James' heart and didn't want to tell him and I'm fairly sure that Lily probably had a part in that too. I'm sorry I got you riled up though!

I'm so glad that you liked the stabbing part because it was a new thing for me but it was quite fun showing his pain in that way. As for that line, I think I have to agree with you about Remus putting Lily on a pedestal and worshipping her, hence him not realising that she and James were together until it was all too late!

Thanks for pointing that out, I'll go and fix and the other issues too. There I was thinking that they were all gone :p

Thanks for such a great review, Rosie!

-Kiana


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Review #2, by adluvshp Into Oblivion

26th December 2013:
Hey!

I am finally here from the Christmas review tag! I am so awfully sorry for taking so long! Here's wishing you a (belated) Merry Christmas and a Happy new year anyway =)

This was a beautiful one-shot. I have always liked the idea of Remus and Lily and the way you wrote this really was awesome. I felt sad for Remus though and somewhat disliked Lily here, as it seemed like she was playing with Remus as she was dating both him and James at the same time... and I don't know if that's what you were going for, but nonetheless I kinda felt annoyed at Lily here and felt really sad for poor Remus. The whole concept of 'fading into oblivion' was nicely used too. The writing style of dividing this into segments with the time jumps was good and suited the theme. The entire piece flowed smoothly and made for a nice read.

All in all, I really enjoyed this and found it to be just perfect - enough emotional but not overdone =)

Great job! I loved it! I am glad I stopped by for this one!

10/10
Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hi Aditi! Don't worry about the wait, it's the thought which counts and it did come in the end which is more than some things :P

I'm so glad that you liked the way I wrote it because, admittedly, I hadn't thought too much about the two of them before this but now I really ship them. Yes, that's what I was going for because I've always wanted to explore a more negative side to Lily and this enabled me to do that. I think it's something really played down in fan fiction. I'm glad that you thought everything tied into the title, I haven't done that idea in a while but it was a ton of fun!

Thank you for this wonderful review and compliments, it really made my day!

-Kiana


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Review #3, by milominderbinder Into Oblivion

17th December 2013:
Kiana! Hi, I'm here with your prize review from the Sylvia Plath challenge :D

I absolutely loved the format of this. The way it was broken up into sections worked so well. It gave it a sweetness in a way, these little snapshots into a life with a lot of other moments in it.

I loved your use of circular narrative, ending the first and last sections with the same line about fading into oblivion. I am a HUGE fan of circular writing because I feel like it always makes a story seem more significant somehow. Here especially that common line helps link all the disjointed sections together, making it flow and connect to itself, which is lovely.

I loved their first kiss. It was so innocent and sweet and just a little awkward, so it was very realistic.

I've never thought much about Remus and Lily as a ship before - I like Lily/James too much - but here you have TOTALLY sold me on them. Straight away I was rooting for Remus, and it broke my heart at the end. But I could see the tough spot Lily was in here, too. So I couldn't hate her too much (even if I did hate her a little at the end!).

This is extremely poignant from Remus' POV and I love his narration. But I think it would also be fascinating to see this from Lily's POV - she thinks she's falling for Remus, and then all of a sudden she really DOES fall for James, and she knows what she has with James is real and lasting and he's the one, but she still has love for Remus, so she doesn't want to hurt him... tough spot :( It's precisely because of that I think this is so heartbreaking! Because there's no clear villain and there's no good solution. It's just real life, and it ends in hurt.

Well done, this was a complex and layered story that was beautiful to read, and ended in breaking my heart!

~Maia

Author's Response: Hey Maia! That was really quick :D

I'm so glad that you liked the format because it was very different from my flowing style but a lot more fun than that so I think I may adopt it as my own :P

Circles are my favourite shape so if I can link them into a story, it makes me happy :P I'm glad that you liked the theme of Into Oblivion because it really applies a lot to Marauders stories, especially these two because it does leave you wonder whether if the stars and fate had been different would they have survived?

Yay for first kisses, they always are like that so I really wanted to show it here!

I never really had either until I stumbled on a one-shot about them on the archives which inspired me to write this. I really love angst, Remus and ruining Remus's life so pairing him with Lily allows me to do all those things with ease :P

I'm really glad that you liked his POV and I totally see what you mean about Lily. I just wanted to write her in a negative light for once because I get fed up with these Mary-Sue portrayals and I was really worried it might come out like that if we had her POV so I steered clear of it. It would be really interesting to see it from hers though!

Thanks for an awesome review and challenge!

-Kiana


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Review #4, by ReeBee Into Oblivion

9th December 2013:
Kiana!!! I love this ship! Remus/Lily has always been so perfect to me! They just fit! If u get what I mean... So so sweet! :) And even the names- Remus and Lily sound perfect- just like James and Lily!

I don't even know what to say! The writing style was perfect- it was hazy and dreamlike (if u get what I mean) and thats perfect! Which also suits the title! This story is one of the best uses I've read of third person to create atmosphere :)

The only CC was that there were a few typos, but they were tiny and didn't distract from the actual plot :)

One more CC, is also maybe including a bit more of the romantic conversations between Remus and Lily- that would increase the angst when Lily gets together with James- terrible for me, but good for the writing :) Not much, just snippets here and there. :)

I really loved this! And I've never seen Lily portrayed in this light- she's not the most innocent person here and I like it! Its not cliche- where Remus gives up lily because James likes her. I like it how Lily cheats on Remus- a nice twist! Don't get me wrong- I love super innocent Lily, but, its interesting to see her in a different light :)

Loved the story!!! :)

-ReeBee :)

Author's Response: Hi ReeBee! I know what you mean about this ship because I've always had a soft spot for it too. In a way, I almost prefer them to James and Lily because they seem to be on the same wavelength.

I never thought of viewing it as dreamlike, but I get what you mean! I'm glad that you liked the third person, because though Remus is one of my favourite characters to write, I can only ever seem to write him in third person and never first. :P

I'll review it and try and find the typos. As for the romantic conversations, I'm not too sure about that because I'm trying to show how they weren't like that, and how Lily only really did that with James because it was almost a farce with him because she could only ever be herself with Remus and Severus. I'll think about it though and see if I can slip in an extra line or two.

Hahaha, I hate super innocent Lily so don't worry about liking her in this light. I think she must have been a rather twisted person given her relationship with Snape, her sister, this obsessive thing with James and then being a Muggleborn in times like these so I was trying to show that :P

Thanks for the great review though!

-Kiana


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Review #5, by teh tarik Into Oblivion

27th November 2013:
Kiana! ♡

So, when I saw the summary of your fic and the pairing I was pretty much jumping in joy because I love this ship, and there are so few fics written, exploring Lily/Remus. I believe there are even more fics about Lily/Sirius than Lily/Remus. But...now I'm at the end...and I'm not really jumping for joy anymore.

fa;laskddcm I LOVED this, so many things about this. It's very sparse and very sharp; your sentences are gorgeous. I know my own writing can sometimes be a bit heavy on the descriptive side, but really, this is the kind of writing style that I really enjoy: sparseness, to-the-point, just every sentence so weighted and so jam-packed with feels.

OK, now let me start crying about Remus. *CRIES* Poor Remus.So naive, so in love, so bloody hopeful until the end when he realises he has been a fool all this while, and that people change and become unrecognisable. It's such a hard lesson to learn, and I think you did a splendid job writing Remus with all his angst, experiencing the ups and downs and highs and lows of his somewhat tumultuous relationship with Lily. And in the end...ugh ugh. He has pretty much lost his optimism and his hope and probably self-esteem as well. Such a heartbreaking ending :( :( :(

And Lily! You did an amazing job with Lily. She isn't, however, an amazing character. :P She's full of flaws, actually, and I love her for that. And I suppose the only reason I can forgive her for her thoughtless actions and insensitivity toward Remus (her banging her hand on the library table in response to Remus' silence earned quite a glare from me...) is because she feels like such a real person, a flawed real person, someone who really does exist, doing their best to find happiness that she is only marginally aware of hurting those around her. I really adore these sentences: Instead of Lily being a phase of James's, he is a phase of hers. These are really clever lines, and they made me think about Remus as a werewolf, whose life is pretty much dictated by the moon's phases. He would certainly understand the irony and the significance of these 'phases'. I almost think of him living his life orbiting around Lily, like the moon, actually. So lovely and so sad.

I also love your stylistic choices here, all the stabbing in brackets and the very neat way you segment the story, showing different parts of their relationship, and separating off the little moments. Also, I love the little nods to canon, in particular how Severus' Mudblood comment has such a negative impact on Lily, and how this changes her as a person so rapidly until she's almost a stranger to Remus. I've never read a fic where that comment has affected her on such a deep level to the point of altering her complete outlook on life. So well done on that.

Anyway, ;lfaksjdcs once again, I loved this story. I thought you did a terrific job with this pairing! SO glad I got the chance to read this! ♥

teh

Author's Response: teh!

I really love this ship too and the lack of stories about it is really strange because they are a rather likely pairing when you think about it. Hmm, I'll just have to carry on writing them to fulfil my need for them!

I'm so glad that you liked the style of the story because I think it's slowly evolving into becoming my own. It's just a pain because there is no room for anything which is not vital for the plot :P I love you style of writing too -- it's so pretty!

Gah, Remus I love writing his many tragedies he's just an intense person that I can't help manipulate that into him suffering :P It means so much to me to hear that you liked him because you said exactly what I wanted to convey and Remus is just ♡ so I would never want to mess up his characterisation!

Aw, Lily, I rather liked delving into her not so nice side here because the whole Mary-Sue like characterisation of her bores me a lot. I'm really glad that you found her real too because for such a revered character it's often hard to give her flaws and thus make her human. Ooh, that analogy of Remus orbiting around Lily is really and true too because he just seems to lost without her.

Yes, the stylistic choice probably comes from my love of order and putting things into lists :P I've never really read a fic with that in either so I guess that's why I did it because Severus and Lily had such a deep relationship and it must have affected her so much.

Thank you for such an amazing review, I seriously didn't no what to do when seeing it as it was so lovely! Thank you for the favourite too, it means so much to me to get that from an author like you! ♥

-Kiana


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Review #6, by lia_2390 Into Oblivion

19th October 2013:
Okay, why don't you just rip my heart out, throw it on the floor and step on it?

There are so many things I could say about this one-shot. Most of which I doubt I can articulate very well, but I will try.

I've always wondered about this pairing. Compared to the other characters authors decide to put Lily with (including what is canon), I cannot get over how much Remus and Lily make sense. Both very bookish and kind. Both fiercely protective of their loved ones. Most of Sirius's musings regarding them early on are exactly what I thought.

Remus's characterisation is spot on here and exactly how I pictured him as a teenager. Never mind the perceived bookworm tag people place on him, including his own friends. He's a human being, he has a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings and ambitions. He's also in love with a girl, but feels too shy to make anything out of it (at first). Even in his anger and disappointment, he never raises his voice. He is so very Remus - that's the best way I can put it. The library scene was my favourite to read. Even though he barely said a word, I felt he screamed so loud on the inside. Never once though, did he compare himself to his friend, a bitter rant about how he could have been better. Again, this is consistent with who he is (at least, how I see him).

Lily, on the other hand, made me smile and not necessarily in a good way. There are many characterisations of Lily Evans, all on different sides of the scale. We are led to believe that she was an extremely good person who deserved every nice thing in the world. Recently, I've taken on a more jaded approach. She's not that good, but she isn't bad either. In her life, she's been through a lot - from her sister's rejection, and at this point in your timeline, Severus's as well. She has begun to realise that not everything exists in black and white.

Don't think too highly of me, will you? I don't deserve it and don't dispute that fact.

If I had to pick a favourite line, it would be this one. She summed up everything about him and herself.

For me, it was at that point that whatever they had, was lost. She is no saint and she knew it; Remus should have taken her word for it.


I'm really glad we got this exchange. This is a fantastic one-shot and I'm thrilled I got to read it. You should feel proud :)

Lia

Author's Response: Hi Lia! I'm not sorry that I made you feel like that as it showed what I was trying to do worked :P

I know what you mean about how much they would suit one another, which is why I'm surprised other pairings such as Sirius/Lily and Snape/Lily are a lot more popular, even compared to Jily Remus and Lily make a lot more sense to me for those exact reasons you listed.

I'm so glad that you found his characterisation was spot on because I've always had a soft spot for him and want to do him proud. I think the whole thing about him being quiet and never saying what he really thinks is his biggest downfall in a way despite it being an arguably good quality as it just lets people trample over him at times. Aw, poor Remus because the one he time he does stand up he gets rejected by Harry.

I've taken a jaded approach to her recently too. I think with all the issues in her life such as Snape, Petunia and then being a Muggleborn she couldn't have been this balanced and normal person everyone makes her out to be, so I had fun twisting it here. I'm so glad that you liked that line as it was one of my favourites too.

Thank you for this wonderful review, and I'm really glad I got you in the exchange too!

-Kiana


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Review #7, by Paintmeyellow Into Oblivion

17th October 2013:
Heart-breaking but lovely.

Author's Response: Thank you! :D

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Review #8, by quixotic Into Oblivion

4th October 2013:
Hi! I'm here with a review! (Finally!)

I'm really not one to deviate from cannon, but that was one beautifully written piece.

Remus is my favourite Marauder, perhaps because he's the one I can most relate to. The quiet thinker whose thoughts are often overlooked by others. You've revealed an innocent side to him, the fact that he thinks everything will fall into place, his thoughts on love. You've also shown how insecure he is around James. James was a star in whose shadow stood Remus. Tears threatened to come when I reached Lily and Remus' last conversation. The poor bloke. On a happier note, I love the way you've made Remus into such a multi faceted, complex character and all in a one-shot. Great job :)

Lily seems more carefree, less cautious than Remus. Sirius calls her a docile "bookish" type at the beginning of the story but to me she's coming across as anything but that, in my opinion. She's a little bit secretive both on her relationship with Remus and the one with James. She doesn't seem afraid to jump into things, either. Yet you've given her a conscience that even though she doesn't tell Remus about James at first, she can't bear to lead him on. She doesn't have a lot of self worth either, which I found was slightly surprising. The bubbly, bright girl who thinks she's replaceable? Interesting.

Overall, I loved reading this story, although it did cause my heart to break a little. I wonder if Remus would still be as fatherly and kind to Harry had he really had feelings for Lily. Who knows? Maybe he did. Another reason why I feel JK should have written a series about the Marauders. Anyway, congratulations again and continue to write you wonderful stories!

Author's Response: Hello there!

He's may favourite too, and I think it's due to the same reason too. I hated making him so innocent because it made him even more pitiful but it seemed to have overworked. With being a werewolf I think it's almost natural to feel that about James and to almost cry because he finally got something good and then it was gone.

With that I was making a small joke with how people usually refer to her as that but she could have been much more for we all we know. I'm glad that you picked up on all the different aspects of her because it means I actually managed to work them in.

Hmm, that's really interesting to ponder. Given how similar they were I think it is likely there may have been some affection but I guess we'll never know.

Thanks for this fabulous review! ♡

-Kiana


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Review #9, by vanityfair Into Oblivion

29th September 2013:
This was very beautiful and almost made me cry. I have never read Remus/Lily stories before this one, but I want to now. I really hated Lily in this one and it was nice to see a horrible version of her as I don't like her much. Poor, poor Remus. At least Tonks comes and cheers him up. Great story. Maia xxx

Author's Response: Don't tell anyone but I don't like her all that much either as she's not all that multi-faceted, and rather easy to hate :P Yes, that is one positive for Remus, though he doesn't know it here. Thank you for another amazing review, Maia! :D

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Review #10, by Enjolras Into Oblivion

29th September 2013:
I absolutely adore your story.

I'm a sucker for Remus/Lily and you've really brought across a heartbreaking and rather different version than what fanfiction authors like to tell. What I mean to say is that I would have never imagined Lily being with James for so long, but also with Remus.

I really love the way you've written it aswell. There's a certain detachment, even if it is focused around Remus, and I like the style you've used.

Thank-you! Because there are so few Remus/Lily fics out there :)

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much! *blushes*

I am too, and I'm a sucker for angsty things so I had to combine the two :P Plus the fact that there are so few stories about them made me even more inclined to write about them.

I'm glad you liked the style as I was experimenting, so it's nice to see it worked out.

Thanks for this amazing review! ♡

-Kiana


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Review #11, by CambAngst Into Oblivion

28th September 2013:
Hi, Kiana!

This story was really original, to say the least. I think it's the first one I've ever read that made Lily and Remus a romantic pairing. For all the reasons you list near the beginning -- they're both bookish, quiet, responsible and intellectual -- it makes a great deal of sense. In spite of those things, it's rarely done. I'm really curious about what brought the two of them together in your mind.

You did a terrific job of capturing disparate elements of Remus's personality. Again, it's kind of unusual to see him being hopeful, fulfilled and happy. In the books, even after he gets together with Tonks, there's still a pessimistic quality to his temporary happiness. Like he's always waiting for that other shoe to drop and Tonks to realize that he really is too old and too poor and too dangerous. This story actually fits in brilliantly with that part of his personality. It's one possible explanation for how he learned to be so skeptical of true love.

Lily comes off a bit mercurial. She's obviously not quite in the same emotional place as Remus. "Have you ever been kissed?" was sort of a prophetic line. Not, "I want to kiss you," not "kiss me, you fool!" but a question born out of personal insecurity and a desire to experience certain things with a "safe" friend. Sigh. Poor Remus simply doesn't grasp the difference until it's too late.

I only saw one place where I'd suggest a bit of editing:

Remus looks at her fingers and sees them tremble slowly as they are raised higher and higher until they brush against his face. The oval tips brush across his face, darting from here to there. -- You say "brush against his face" in consecutive sentences, which reads kind of awkward. I'd suggest picking a different phrasing in one or the other.

Otherwise, your writing was fantastic. Hats off to you and your editor. (Two hats off to you, if you did your own editing. ;)

Very nice job. I really enjoyed it!

Author's Response: Hi Dan!

I've always had a soft spot for the pairing with the reasons that you listed, and then a couple of days ago I stumbled across a Lily/Remus one-shot, and while I loved it, I thought they viewed Lily with rose-tinted glasses so I wanted to give the pairing my own shot with a darker side to her.

I'm so glad that you liked his character as I was worried it was a little too OOC. I would like to think he was happier back then, as he hadn't gone through the war and losing all his friends which caused him to act like that with Tonks, but I suppose we'll never know.

Yes, she does! I'm not Lily's biggest fan as I think she's often seen with rose-tinted glasses and I rarely see the darker side to her, so I had a little too much fun making her not so nice here :P I think that's an issue with Remus and his trust, he never really learns.

Ooh thank you for pointing that out! After looking at this for countless hours I'm not surprised I missed that one out as editing drives me insane! I did do my own editing, so thank you!

Thanks for this amazing review, Dan!

-Kiana


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Review #12, by MissesWeasley123 Into Oblivion

28th September 2013:
Will you kindly not try to kill me? ;)

The first ever pairing I read was Remus/Lily, so I think I'll always have a soft spot for them. But in this - in this, you made my heart ache so, so much.

I loathed Lily throughout this. Absolutely despised her. I want her to die, and I want her to die now. She is such a - a Squib. That's insulting enough I hope...

I will forever feel bad for Remus, the poor boy. It could not happen to him! I think you showed his pain beautifully in a dark and sinister way..

The way their relationship developed was heartwarming, and the way it ended was heartbreaking. It was not kind to do that lol, but good on you for being able to play with my emotions like that. I hate that I loved every word of this. It was brilliantly done and sheer beauty.

I loved the (stab) sections. They were not only piercing holes through Remus, but through me too. I was literally hurting along with him.

God I hate your version of Lily. She should die in a hole.

Yes she should don't look at me that way.

Another expertly written piece by you Kiana! :)

Author's Response: Ah, Nadia, how can I respond to this fantastic review? ♥

I'm sorry that I made your heart ache, but it's hard to avoid the angsty stuff when you pair these two together. I'm glad that you hated Lily, because I wanted you to and I had a little too much fun in attempting her to be mean to let it go to waste :P

I'm so glad that you liked how I showed Remus's pain. I tend to make him suffer a lot, but he's an angsty character so it's hard to avoid.

Gah. I just want to hug you for your comments about the relationship. THANK YOU SO MUCH. That will have to do for now as I'm just squealing away about them :P

Yay for those sections working out, I thought it might be a little too artsy putting them in, but I'm glad they worked.

I'm not looking at you in anyway, as I really agree about Lily needing to die here! Thank you for this amazing review Nadia, it really made my day :D ♥

-Kiana


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Review #13, by toomanycurls Into Oblivion

28th September 2013:
I've always been a fan of Remus/Lily (not just because of Remus but because he seems more her type like from a hobbies and personality perspective). I liked the style you used in this story. The brief descriptions and sequences worked well to make a good narrative.

I really loved their first kiss - it was sweet and felt quite innocent.

This kind of made me hate Lily for playing Remus. I get the difficult situation she was in liking two guys, but it was sad to see her break his heart like that.

The ending in the library was brilliant. I completely related to the (stabs) as they happened. It would be good to have a (stab and twist). ^_^ Well, maybe I'd just find that amusing. I could relate to that situation of someone trying to be consoling but their words just hurting more and more.

I really enjoyed the use of present tense in this story. The story is a little more description-light than I'd usually want to see but I think the story works pretty well without more.

-Rose

Author's Response: Rose!

I've always had a soft spot for them too, because I agree, when you think about Remus is suited to her a lot more than James in many ways.

I'm glad that you liked the first kiss, as I hate writing them! I wanted you to hate Lily, so don't worry about it! It was fun to explore the more evil side of her.

I'm glad that you could relate to them, because they've happened to me a lot too! I just wanted to yell at Lily in that part that what she was saying was just making it worse.

I'm glad that you liked the different style, it was a lot of fun! Thanks for this fabulous review. ♥

-Kiana


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