Reading Reviews for Hourglass
  
63 Reviews Found

Review #1, by krazyboutharryginny next month

20th June 2015:
Amazing Race - House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor

So... the mystery of D.L.Z.'s identity has been revealed. Al seems satisfied, but I'm definitely not. There's more to it than that. Something's obviously been going on with Albus, and I NEED TO KNOW WHAT IT IS!
It's good that he's feeling better, but I can't imagine that it will last. He's spent a good chunk of this story so far getting more and more out of it, and now he's just fine? After meeting D.L.Z.? I don't think that I buy it!
Oh no, Harry's coming to Hogwarts! You've made the Potter's such a believable family - they care very deeply for each other, but Lily and Albus still don't want their dad to embarrass them!
I have to admit that I don't quite understand what happened with that girl? Did Joel give her Armontentia? I have to be honest - if that's what happened, my respect for Joel just plummeted :/ I'm sure that there are loads of girls in Hogwarts who would love to date Al without being given a coercive potion.
But overall I am still really enjoying this story, and I hope there's a new chapter soon.

-Kayla

 Report Review

Review #2, by krazyboutharryginny all day

20th June 2015:
Amazing Race - House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor

I'm starting to get very worried about Albus. His behaviour is really concerning. Does it have something to do with D.L.Z. or is it something else entirely? I hope he's okay...
I feel really bad for Sophie. I would be upset too if my friend ran out on me like that. At the same time, though, I understand why Albus did it.
I absolutely love the way you've written the Potter family. They're so loving and it's really clear how deeply they care about each other. It makes me really happy that Lily is so caring towards her brother and worried about her brother. I'm hoping we'll hear from James soon?
WHO is this girl? OMG! I have the feeling that she's not Al's blind date, contrary to what he seems to believe. Also what happened with his scar?! Things are getting more and more alarming and intriguing! I can't wait to read on.
I really am alarmed by Albus' behaviour, though, especially the memory issues. I hope that everything starts to become clear soon!

-Kayla

 Report Review

Review #3, by krazyboutharryginny after hours

20th June 2015:
Amazing Race - House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor

I'm really glad that Al wrote to his dad. It's so wonderful that they have a good enough relationship that Albus is comfortable writing to him about his worries.
The idea of Joel and Vanessa being the designated "Cutest Couple in Gryffindor", as decided by a poll, is completely hilarious to me. Al's discomfort is definitely understandable, though.
I have a feeling that a blind date won't go the way everyone is hoping it will. It seems to me like Al is probably right and it will cause even more problems. It also makes me feel bad for Sophie :(
Albus reading biographies of Dumbledore is a really cool detail. I also love that you made sure to say that Rita Skeeter's had been discredited!
Oooh! Is the mysterious figure D.L.Z.?! I'M SO INTRIGUED.
The only thing I didn't like was the idea of Al's family calling a meeting to discuss his relationship. If my family did that to me I'd be so unbelievably irritated.
Overall I really enjoyed this chapter and I'm excited to read the next one.
-Kayla

 Report Review

Review #4, by krazyboutharryginny a spell

20th June 2015:
Hey! I'm here for the Amazing Race review battle for 2015's House Cup! Go go Gryffindor! (I'm also here because I meant to review every chapter of this AGES ago. Oops. I'm so sorry!)

Have I mentioned before that I absolutely love everything you've got going on with this story? Because I do. I don't even have words for how much I adore your characterization of Rose. It's completely different from anything I've ever seen before and I think it's PERFECT. Her relationship with Albus is wonderful.

I also admire your pacing. I have a tendency to rush, but here we're three chapters in and you're still keeping things mysterious. I have no idea what's going on (I mean, I do, but I don't know WHY) but instead of being confused or put off I'm totally hooked. Who is D.L.Z? Is she the mysterious women in Albus' dream? WHERE DID THE SCAR COME FROM?! Why does Al feel dizzy? I know that these questions will be answered in later chapters, and I can't wait to read on and find out what's happening here.

I love this so much! I'm sorry it took me so long to get back here.

-Kayla

 Report Review

Review #5, by Roisin next month

20th June 2015:
Z for Zeller! I think that was one of my guesses :D

I actually kind of liked the 'anti-climax' of it, because it sort of enhanced the mystery. I mean, sending a mysterious note 'not to fall in love' isn't really the BEST plan, once you think about it. Saying it was all a prank seems like a realistic (if maybe desperate) move once she notices Albus is freaking out. And pretending to have pranked him wouldn't SEEM like a great segue into romance, so I get the reasoning.

There was a really weird eeriness to their encounter, where you did a really nice job of moving into stranger and more metaphorical language. I have to assume that that is meant to read as symptomatic of CRAZY MAGIC and WEIRD MEMORY STUFF.

But, GUH, it sucks so bad to be at the last posted chapter! Update, update, update!

xoxo
Roisin

House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor

 Report Review

Review #6, by TreacleTart next month

20th June 2015:
Hey Gina!

I'm here for House Cup 2015- Amazing Race Round 2 - Gryffindor!

Oh! This was so anti-climatic that I feel like it can't be real. After everything that Albus went through over that letter, D.L.Z. is just some random girl who wrote him the letter for a bet. That is not cool. Not cool at all. I did notice that she mentioned her friend Tracy though. I wonder if this is the same Tracy that helped Albus when he got smacked in the face with the book.

I am glad that Albus is starting to feel better now that he knows who this person is. He was getting pretty scary there for awhile with all of his dizziness and weird symptoms. I'm still not convinced that they weren't caused by his scar.

I chuckled a bit at Lily and Albus' reactions to the announcement that their dad would be coming to visit Hogwarts. I could imagine that being pretty tough for them, particularly with the way it sounds like he treats them. To be honest, I do have a bit of a hard time imagining Harry saying things like that, but then again every parent has their favorite child. I guess maybe James is his.

Now I have a small bit of a critique for this chapter and that is that there isn't another chapter for me to read right now. Hurry up and write some more so I can get back and find out what's going on! Good work!

~Kaitlin

 Report Review

Review #7, by Roisin all day

20th June 2015:
Hm, it seems like Albus' memory is a bit wonky. This might support my 'he's been obliviated' theory.

I can't help but feel bad for Sophie. She clearly likes Albus, and it's a bummer (for her) that he doesn't seem to reciprocate :(

Hm, maybe Madame Reid is a sketchy one. I mean, she seems to be resistant to offering Albus the tests he's asking for. You said earlier that she said the scar wasn't magical in origin, but I don't remember the palm leaf test happening. MAYBE SHE KNOWS SOMETHING??? Or maybe he's just got shoddy memory (STILL SUSPICIOUS).

So Joel and his girlfriend gave this girl amortentia? That's a pretty sketch move, too! Totally not the best way to hook people up for a date, but quite a creepy and strangely actiony scene!

House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor

 Report Review

Review #8, by TreacleTart all day

20th June 2015:
Hey Gina!

I'm here for House Cup 2015- Amazing Race Round 2 - Gryffindor!

So we finally get to meet this Sophie that we've heard so much about. She certainly does seem to have a thing for Albus as she's clearly hanging on his every word. I suppose it really would be much kinder of Albus to just tell her flat out that he doesn't feel the same way for her as she does for him.

The whole situation with the scar is interesting. A potion to detect the origin of a scar could be very helpful. Finding out that Madame Reid already did the test and that Albus just doesn't remember is definitely concerning. I couldn't understand forgetting little things here and there, but that seems like a pretty big thing to forget.

Lily's attempts to reach out to Albus were sweet. You can see that she really loves her brother. Good on her for protecting him from the girl who drank Amortentia. That could be a scary situation, so Albus was really luck she was there to give him a chance to escape.

I was a little bit unclear on one thing though. Was it Joel and Victoria who gave this girl amortentia or was it someone else?

The last scene with his scar hurting has me really concerned for Albus. Something is clearly very wrong with him and I'd be willing to bet that the scar is the origin of his sickness.

Another solid chapter! I'm on to the next one! Good work!

~Kaitlin

 Report Review

Review #9, by Roisin after hours

20th June 2015:
Gonna try reviewing as I go.

Clever Albus, write your dad. Also, hahaha, the "it's man stuff / it's not man stuff" made me giggle.

Hm, curious about Lily. I remember being curious about Lily last chapter, too.

Huh, he looked at Vanessa then his scar twinged. I'm smelling a red herring (like when Harry's scar hurt looking at Snape BUT IT WAS ACTUALLY QUIRREL). Is there someone wearing a turban in the room?

Herrumph, that's quite rude and inappropriate of Al's family to make him dump a girl on reputation alone. I mean, what adults listen to teenage gossip? And also even if it were true, WAY TO SEX SHAME, jeez.

I really liked all the description in the scene of Al on the Quidditch pitch. It was really vivid and got the atmosphere across really well. That helped a lot when it came to the shadowy figure, because it gave it a kind of eerie creepyness. The tension in that moment came across specifically because you placed us there so well.

Also, I like how subtly you weave in Albus coping with what I take to be anxiety. He seems a very anxious sort, but you never come out and say it. Nice showing over telling :)

House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor

 Report Review

Review #10, by TreacleTart after hours

20th June 2015:
Hey Gina!

I'm here for House Cup 2015- Amazing Race Round 2 - Gryffindor!

I'm glad that Albus decided to confide in Harry about his scar. It does seem a bit unusual that it would show up out of nowhere and then suddenly twinge the way he says it does. I wish I could say it was nothing, but with the way he's obsessing over it, I'm quite certain it means something.

It's good that Albus has friends who notice that something is wrong with him, but setting him up on a blind date seems to be an odd way of dealing with this. I would think a blind date would just add more stress to it all. Not to mention the fact that blind dates work basically never. It seems even stranger that they want to set him up, but based on their questions it doesn't seem that they have anyone in particular in mind.

The ending of this chapter was quite ominous. I wonder who the shadowy person could've been outside of the Quidditch field. I guess Albus doesn't have his father's curious streak because Harry certainly would've gone after them regardless of sore muscles. I wonder if its D.L.Z.

On to the next chapter now!

~Kaitlin

 Report Review

Review #11, by TreacleTart a spell

20th June 2015:
Hey Gina!

I'm here for House Cup 2015- Amazing Race Round 2 - Gryffindor!

So the mystery continues. Albus still hasn't figured out who the mysterious D.L.Z. is and seems no closer to having any viable candidates. It's strange too that no one else has any idea of who she might be. I could understand Albus not knowing immediately, but Scorpius, Joel, and Rose don't have any clue either.

The strange nightmare combined with the physical symptoms of sickness is a bit concerning. And I would wager a bet that the scar is something more than everyone is making it out to be. I mean who forgets how they got a scar really? I'm surprised that the new nurse is so cavalier about it. I bet Madame Pomfrey would've been more thorough.

Rose showing up to visit Albus was sweet. This is the type of relationship that cousins should have. They're supposed to watch out for each other in times of need, so it's nice to see Rose doing that.

Finally, I find it incredibly worrisome that Albus just decided to ditch Quidditch practice for no reason. This mystery really seems to be getting to him.

I'm excited to go read more! I'm enjoying this quite a bit so far! Good job!

~Kaitlin

 Report Review

Review #12, by Roisin a spell

20th June 2015:
BACK!

I really, really like this characterization of Rose - which I may or may not have mentioned. She's realistically youthy, and a very different combination of Ron and Hermione traits than you usually see. In the books at least (though not quite the films, where he was a bit bafoonish) Ron had a tendency to run his mouth and was the last of the trio to really grow up. He could also be naive at times. I think it makes sense for a teenager, who isn't experiencing a war or anything and has had a pretty nice life, to maintain some naivete and immaturity. But she's still obviously clever, even if she's not super vexed about school, and seems to have elements of Hermione's tenacity. Anyway, she's a refreshing, funny character, and an interesting foil to Albus (who seems rather serious a lot of the time).

I couldn't help but giggle about him wondering if it was normal for scars to twinge. MAYBE TALK TO YOUR DAD ABOUT THAT, DUDE. I can only guess that he's traveled back through time and got the scar in a future he doesn't remember? If so, it seems like he couldn't have aged that much (or people would notice) so the future he can't remember can't be that far off. Which fits with the note, and the whole "don't fall in love with me THIS TIME" thing - I suspect mystery lady is going to appear pretty soon?

And here's my completely bonkers, probably not correct at all, fangirl theory: the only scar we know of to twinge was Harry's horcruxy scar. Maybe in the obliviated future, some sort of Horcrux situation happened with mystery lady? I know that's crackpot, but it's all I have!

So curious about what's all going on!
On to the next!

House Cup 2015 - Gryffindor

 Report Review

Review #13, by TreacleTart indian summer

20th June 2015:
Hey Gina!

I'm here for House Cup 2015- Amazing Race Round 2 - Gryffindor!

I really enjoyed the scene in the beginning of this and getting a chance to see the interactions between Albus and Scorpius. I especially adored Scorpius' comments to Louis about Albus having a name. It really illustrated what it must be like to be the child of a really famous person.

The scene with Peeves was interesting. I had never really seen him harass a teacher before. Really the only adult he gives much of a hard time to is Filch, so it was a bit of a surprise to see him being so rude to the librarian.

Albus getting smacked in the face by the book really came at me suddenly as well. For some reason, I didn't expect it. It was nice of Tracy to help him and then fix his nose. He's lucky she was there and that he didn't get knocked completely unconscious.

This D.L.Z. really does seem to be turning into a bit of an obsession for Albus and understandably so. It was a really weird note and maybe finding out who it's from would help it make a bit more sense.

Again, this chapter flowed well and everything that happened was very clear. The characterization that you built in the first chapter continues to build in this chapter and the suspense from the mystery has started to build too. Good work!

~Kaitlin

 Report Review

Review #14, by TreacleTart morning

20th June 2015:
Hey Gina!

I'm here for the House Cup 2015 - Amazing Race Round 2 - Gryffindor.

Let me start by saying that I love the tentative friendship that you've created between Scorpius and Albus. Too often I see them made as immediate best friends, and while I do think they might become friends, I definitely imagine it more as you've explained it here. A sort of bonding over unavoidable similarities. A tolerating of each other because they understand what the other is going through.

This mysterious letter that Albus has received is quite intriguing. I'm scratching my head trying to think of who D.L.Z. might be, but I can't think of anyone really. An OC perhaps?

Oh and I love Albus' classroom! You could tell how much care he had put into it by the different decorations and the way he'd organized it. The bed of pillows in the corner and the random trinkets really make it his own.

I thought, as always, that your writing in this was good. It was very clear and smooth and really helped me to gather an idea of who we're reading about. I now have quite a few questions, so I'm just going to head on to the next chapter now! Good work!

~Kaitlin

 Report Review

Review #15, by krazyboutharryginny indian summer

1st June 2015:
Ugh, I apologize again for my lateness with this.

Hmm, some strange things happen in this chapter! Not as in they don't fit the story/you've written them badly/whatever... they're just strange. Like Albus feeling the weird sense of urgency, and the tension between Scorpius and Louis. I'm so intrigued. I need to know where this stuff is going!

"He wasn't straight in the Room of Requirement when I-" HAHA that cracked me up omg.

Hmm... maybe the sense of urgency was because DLZ was there in the crowd and he could sense them somehow? That would be cool!

I like the relationship between Rose and Albus. I also can identify with Rose. Threatening to throw the note away sounds like something I'd do! Haha.

I really liked Tracy, too. I hope she'll come into this again! If she does, I wonder how she'll fit in to the story... I guess I better read on and find out!

-Kayla

 Report Review

Review #16, by krazyboutharryginny morning

21st May 2015:
Hey there! I'm here to leave my first review for our swap! :)

Well, I was a bit - apprehensive, maybe? - going into this, because this really isn't something I normally read (OC fics and next-gen fics), but now I'm really glad we got paired because I'm so intrigued! Honestly, the biggest thing that got me hooked was Scorpius. I want to know what's up with him. Al's thoughts about their almost-friendship and knowing something about Scorpius that broke Lily's heart... that really piqued my curiosity.

Al is a little different here than I've seen him done before, even in looks. I always see him written looking just like Harry (I can't remember if that's how it is in the books?). He also doesn't seem to be as close to Rose as I usually see him written, but I may just be misreading that. Anyway, I totally don't mind those differences. In a way they just made me more curious.

I'm really excited to continue reading this and see what's happening with Scorpius and Albus. I know that you're setting up the Albus/OC and the overall subject matter here, but that didn't grab me as much. That doesn't bother me though, it's also good to be gradually drawn into things.

I'll probably read and review the next chapter tomorrow! I'm pumped!

-Kayla

 Report Review

Review #17, by Cath next month

17th May 2015:
This story has to have the most intriguing plot ever, and the style is so good it's addictive. I can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your kind review!

 Report Review

Review #18, by HPmum14 next month

12th May 2015:
Good story, more please.

Author's Response: Sorry for the wait, but the next chapter is coming soon! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #19, by SilentConfession a spell

11th May 2015:
This note is actually going to drive me crazy. I just want to know what it means and how it has such power over him - to the point it seems to be influencing his actions! This is the sort of thing I could write better, the underlying suspense and things happening to make readers really want to read on. I'm much more of a slow writer who gets to the suspency bits eventually or I put in a lot of obscure clues no one seems to get and so there really isn't much of a point. But hey ho, I have really enjoyed reading how the note with no explained origin keeps coming back and hanging on to Albus. It's thrilling.

I also love Rose. I'm so glad you haven't thrown Albus immediately into that 'other time' and we've had a chance to get to know present characters. She's so much fun and hopeful. The descriptions of her actions are so realistic and clear it's easy to see this story play out like a film in front of my eyes.

I also think Albus should go to practice this whole not going places that he loves is making me feel uneasy. What's going to happen to him?? Especially with that dream that made him scar in his waking life. So strange and I can only think that it's the other time and this timeline getting moulded together. Like they are on top of one another and Albus has to live through both of them, but every time he leaves that other timeline he doesn't remember it, leaving this strange and mysterious girl heartbroken. Just a theory :)

Great job again with this chapter. It sets up your action really well.

 Report Review

Review #20, by SilentConfession indian summer

11th May 2015:
Great second chapter. Even though there didn't seem like a lot going on it was nice to get introduced to the characters in your story, have them interact with one another, and get a glimpse at how obsessive (and it is obsessive) Albus is being with his note. It probably seems like the biggest deal to him right now, like it's all he can be or his fate is tied up in a little note. Very well done at capturing all that.

Scorpius seems like such a punk. I don't know what I feel about him, right now, but I'm glad you've made him that way. It seems more in character that he isn't pleasant. He isn't overtly horrible either - just sort of rough and angry which I think plays well with how you're characterizing him.

I think the biggest thing I like so far here is how natural your characters are. They just seem like friends and act in ways you would with people you've been around your entire life. I like Rose and how she refuses to let Albus dwell because she things its dangerous and is just trying to look out for him. I like the brief mention of Joel too and how we now know him as a best mate.

This story just seems like it would happen at Hogwarts. You paint a really nice picture of the events - the library scene, outside in the sun, then into the dormitory. It just feel like Hogwarts. Really nice job! I'm digging it!

 Report Review

Review #21, by SilentConfession morning

11th May 2015:
Hi! Sorry for lateness in reviewing! Today ended up being hectic!

You have a really great writing voice. I think it really helps capture Albus' character here and how he's this sort of this careful, very detailed orientated, confused fellow. It works really well and he's so sweet here I just want to give him a hug. I think it's also a common, normal feeling for a teen to get to that age and just ask 'what have I done' I've lived for 17 years and what do I have to say for myself? It's such common feeling and you displayed that angst really well in him.

The dynamics he has with Scorpius is fabulous. I love how it isn't quite a friendship, but it isn't not a friendship. You balance that line very well and it seems so believable because I think there are always those people in your life that you kind of get on with, but if it were to happen you never saw them it'd be okay because it was more friendship out of obligation - whether it was a shared feeling like Al and Scorpius or just years and years of knowing each other which makes you feel like you have to stay friends.

I'm excited to see what happens to Rose. She's already stands out as being a little bit different than I've read her before and that's exciting for me. She doesn't seem uptight, angry, or incredibly overbearing and it's interesting to see what you will come up with. However- with the hints of time travel here i'm not sure if i will get to see this.

Great start! This has just enough mystery of where does this note come from, why is Albus like he is, to keep a reader interested. I also like how you describe things. Things like the syrupy note and keeping coming back to that which really drills that image into my head. That or Rose's tangled mess or droopy eyes. It's really helps me visualize the story and feel the story alongside Albus.

 Report Review

Review #22, by Roisin indian summer

5th May 2015:
Man, you do a really great job of capturing the teenage experience and perspective. It's sort of hard to explain, but you manage to make relatively little things feel kind of big. Like, Peeves throwing books around is very much a Scene even before Tracy is introduced. Albus definitely feels things in that way that teenagers feel things--deeply and all at once.

And I'd sort of pegged Scorpius as maybe gay last chapter and I'm super happy he is! Or at least queer. Continuing to dig the characterization :)

BAH, the thing about the Universe not being orderly--clever clever you!

Throughout, I like the way you weave very lovely and delicate prose so easily with youthful voice. Like at the beginning with "butts," and then later "and hating their lives." Well executed, and adds a lot of realism to Al's perspective.

I'll be favoriting this story, too--it's been a while since I got really stoked on a WIP so I'm excited!

xoxo
Roisin

 Report Review

Review #23, by Roisin morning

5th May 2015:
BACK. And again, let me say, I really love your writing style. Two of my favorite bits were "their wings carved," and "indecisive hazel"--and there were more that shone, but those two stuck with me.

And you have so much going already! There's definitely something a bit different about Albus, some sort of anxiousness, and I'm interesting seeing that develop and get explored. Or maybe he's just a realistic teenager and we forget how odd that time can be and feel. Either way, it's definitely compelling.

Scorpius' characterization is also an interesting one, and one I absolutely buy. Charismatic enough to be compelling, enough of a jerk to be interesting. And I love Albus' voice throughout, and the call back of "accidental vs real." I also generally like the idea a lot of being 'responsible' for him.

It also seems like you're doing something a bit unique with Rose (which is to say, not carbon-copy Hermione), and I'm super stoked to see more of this characterization. And I know from the description that there's time travel, and so I'm VERY VERY piqued already!

Hmmm, the only canon names I can think of that start with Z are Zabini or Zeller... I suppose we'll see.

WONDERFUL CHAPTER!

 Report Review

Review #24, by ASDFGHJKL1234 all day

3rd May 2015:
THUMBS UP FOR ORIGINALITY!
ALL FINGERS UP FOR WRITING STYLE!!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! :D

 Report Review

Review #25, by Dirigible_Plums all day

3rd May 2015:
Just wanted to say that I'm really intrigued by this. I like your portrayal of the characters - I mean, Rose really is amazing. I'm also curious about Scorpius and would love to see more of his interactions with Al (whose characterisation I also love).

All of this mystery is killing me! I honestly can't think of where you're going with this so I will definitely be following this.

Dirigible_Plums xo

(Is it just me or does this review seem to lack something?)

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you're intrigued so far. There will definitely be more of Al and Scorpius in future chapters!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>