Reading Reviews for Upside Down
  
3 Reviews Found

Review #1, by anon Neighbour trouble!

21st October 2013:
It's a good story and a great start to a book, I like that your writing it from a characters perspective.
My advice would be create more of an atmosphere to give people more of a connection to the story; By this I mean describe the environment and characters more. Describe the food, flavours, image, smell etc, describe the house inside and out, chandeliers, bookcases, fixtures, fittings, the feel of the air (tall ceilings, log fires burnt down to the ashes etc to give more of a warm but large feeling to the building) explain what characters are wearing to give a sense of acknowledgment when new days begin and days end as a change of clothes can make all the difference with certain scenarios in a book (for example if James was wearing his dress robes with a gold trim in a deep red velvet then you would know he's going to some type of dance and would get a vision of him in them.) describe their hair, eyes, tall, short, smells, as these can make all the difference with peoples perspective on a character and can make some readers connect better with others.
This seems like a big criticism but it's really just one subject in slight depth, but in my opinion it has so much potential and I actually look forward to reading the second chapter :) I love your portrayal of the characters and the best part is its original!! Keep up the good writing and in no time you'll have a full book for me to read :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the feedback :) criticism is what I need to help make my story better really! I'm glad you like it and I will defiantly take your advice and add some more senses ect. thanks again
Zena xxx


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Review #2, by youngest death eater Neighbour trouble!

17th October 2013:
Ok, I don't want to sound mean at all, but you need to proofread your stories, there are countless commas missing and remember "Potter" is spelt with a P, not p. Also there are small little mistakes that can be easily found and corrected, like "minuet" instead of "minute". Other than that, I love this chapter, especially the storyline and characters.
Please don't take my constructive criticism to heart and use it to correct your mistakes.
-Amy

Author's Response: Hi thanks, not offended at all thanks for the help! im so glad that you liked it and ill defiantly change the mistakes! x

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Review #3, by TheWizardingPorcupine Neighbour trouble!

17th October 2013:
This is a great idea, but ur making lily seem a bit too angsty. Otherwise, pretty good chapter.

Author's Response: Hi glad you liked it please explain more so I can improve :) x


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